Oct 23 2023
Siamese Dream
The Smashing Pumpkins
Generic grunge droning. Lame lyrics. Mostly forgettable outside the hits.
3
Oct 24 2023
Marquee Moon
Television
Discordant. Harsh. The kind of music that pretentious nerds think they SHOULD listen to, but nobody actually enjoys. Title track is okay.
3
Oct 25 2023
The Cars
The Cars
Great record. Utterly cool. Amazing sound. Perfect late 70ās rock and roll record.
4
Oct 26 2023
So
Peter Gabriel
I read that Phil Collins didnāt understand why critics hated him and loved Peter Gabriel. They were both in Genesis, they both put out monster albums in the 80ās with tons of hits. What made the critics love Peter Gabriel and hate Phil Collins? I think itās cause Peter Gabriel is wearing a toupee on this album cover and Phil Collins just openly went bald. But who knows?
This is a fine album. Itās hard to really hear the hits because of how often Iāve heard them before. I like Peter Gabrielās Genesis stuff, and this is kind of three minute pop versions of that. Itās a good album. But āNo Jacket Requiredā better be on this list too.
3
Oct 27 2023
In The Court Of The Crimson King
King Crimson
This album has: (1) an iconic cover image; (2) an absolute banger of an opening track; and (3) a really cool title track that has sub parts, one of which involves a āfire witch.ā That isnāt nothing, but Iām not sure it makes up for the rest of the album being generic prog noodling.
2
Oct 30 2023
Tommy
The Who
Ugh. I donāt know shit about operas, but isnāt this a rock musical rather than a rock opera? I mean, it sounds like The Who doing a lame ass musical. So, The Who are pretty good, but lame ass musicals arenāt. This is like Micheal Jordan playing baseball. Or I guess if the Beatles did a rock musical, that would be like Michael Jordan playing baseball. This is more like Shaq playing a genie in āShazam.ā Blech.
1
Oct 31 2023
Bad
Michael Jackson
When you reach the heights that MJ did, even an album made after youāve begun your downward slide is pretty great. This has some hits and some filler and some garbage, but itās just past peak Michael Jackson.
3
Nov 01 2023
Dub Housing
Pere Ubu
I donāt like post-punk. This is awful even for post-punk. Why would you listen to this? Terrible.
1
Nov 02 2023
The Genius Of Ray Charles
Ray Charles
I prefer rollicking and fun Ray Charles to ballad singing Ray Charles. The first song on the album is amazing but then it goes to snoozetown and never returns.
2
Nov 03 2023
Time Out Of Mind
Bob Dylan
The stranglehold that the Boomers had on music criticism in the 90ās album-sonified. Dylan hadnāt done anything good in more than a decade when this mess came out but because the critics all liked him when they were 16 we had to appreciate this important new work. Terrible. This is like Jethro Tull beating Metallica and Janeās Addiction for Best Metal Album at the 1989 Grammys. This late career middling piece of garbage has no place on an albums you must listen to list and I'm embarrassed for everyone involved that itās on here.
1
Nov 06 2023
Talking Book
Stevie Wonder
Near peak Stevie Wonder, which make it near-peak music in general. Great album. Superstition is too played out to really hit properly anymore, but other than that itās close to perfection from start to finish.
4
Nov 07 2023
Ready To Die
The Notorious B.I.G.
For the ten minutes or so the subject matter is not limited to robbery, murder, being good at sex and being rich, its pretty good. He was obviously a talented rapper, but I wish he had expanded what he was writing songs about somewhat. "Suicidal Thoughts" is good.
3
Nov 08 2023
Endtroducing.....
DJ Shadow
My first five star rating since starting this project. Close to a perfect album. A cohesive whole from start to finish. So great.
5
Nov 09 2023
The Gershwin Songbook
Ella Fitzgerald
āThe Very Best ofā on Amazon Music is only 12 songs and 44 minutes long. Iām not sure why so many of the reviews on here are talking about 3 hours of music. This is fine. I prefer jazzier versions of these songs from other releases, but these are nice. Not really my thing though.
2
Nov 10 2023
Selected Ambient Works 85-92
Aphex Twin
uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha uncha one star.
1
Nov 13 2023
The Wildest!
Louis Prima
Fun. A little corny and hard not to hear King Louie, but definitely worth a listen. Iām glad this project introduced me to this artist and album.
3
Nov 14 2023
Layla And Other Assorted Love Songs
Derek & The Dominos
Great album. Duane Allman was unstoppable at this time. The combination of him and Clapton really shouldnāt work but it does.
3
Nov 15 2023
Dare!
The Human League
It was okay. There were a couple of decent songs outside the single, but the single became such a giant hit for a reason. Nothing else on the album even approaches it in terms of quality. I doubt I will ever listen to this album again.
2
Nov 16 2023
Entertainment
Gang Of Four
I donāt like post-punk. Iāve tried to listen to this album multiple times over the years and never got what people like about it. Tried again and still donāt. So harsh and discordant. Not my kind of thing I guess.
1
Nov 17 2023
Street Signs
Ozomatli
Lyrics are shallow and dumb. Music is derivative and uninteresting. Total waste of time.
1
Nov 20 2023
Revolver
Beatles
You donāt even have to rank it based on it being almost 60 years old, it still sounds perfect. All pop and rock music owes a debt to this album.
5
Nov 21 2023
Stardust
Willie Nelson
I have read critics try to explain why this album where a reedy-voiced country singer known mostly for his songwriting covering old standards is so great and I think they all miss the mark. The reason itās great is because maybe once in a generation an artist hits a patch where they could read the phone book and it would be amazing, and Willie was in exactly such a patch in the late 70ās. Itās not hard work or practice or dedication. Itās magic. Willie was fully connected to forces beyond human comprehension in this time period and so this album is great because he made it at this time, despite its content. This album is great because magic.
But I donāt like old-timey songs, so three stars.
3
Nov 22 2023
...Baby One More Time
Britney Spears
For her first music video, whichever record executive was behind this travesty dressed this 16 year old child in pig tails and a Catholic school girl outfit and blatantly sexualized her. This āalbumā was obviously marketed in part toward pedophiles. The people who made this pile of garbage should be in jail.
Substantively, this isnāt an album. Itās two singles and a bunch of filler. I am dumber for having listened to this. Absolutely terrible.
1
Nov 23 2023
Imperial Bedroom
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
I am a huge Elvis Costello fan but this album just doesnāt hit like his earlier work. It has some good songs but this album doesnāt reach the heights of his 1970ās albums. Still, mid-grade Elvis Costello is better than top shelf most other artists.
3
Nov 24 2023
Electric Music For The Mind And Body
Country Joe & The Fish
All I knew about this band was that they performed at Woodstock and had a dumb name. This album isnāt bad, but seems to really only be worthwhile in the context of its time. Iām glad to have been exposed to it for the first time through this list, but can hear nothing essential about it.
2
Nov 27 2023
Brothers
The Black Keys
This is fine. If you want to listen to pretty good blues rock made in 2010, you could do worse than this album. However, there are lots of better blues rock albums to listen to, so I'm not sure why you would go out of your way to listen to this one.
2
Nov 28 2023
My Generation
The Who
Enjoyable garage rock album. I had heard some of these songs before but not the whole album. Pretty fun and definitely worth listening to.
3
Nov 29 2023
The Last Of The True Believers
Nanci Griffith
Pretty decent 80ās style country. Nanci Griffith has a nice voice. Iām glad to have been exposed to it.
3
Nov 30 2023
Go Girl Crazy
The Dictators
I developed a theory when a really smart English professor I had once introduced me to the band Fear. I think two types of people like dumb shit: 1. Dumb people, and 2. Smart people that are constantly surrounded by smart shit and so they think dumb shit is transgressive and rebellious. Well, I grew up steeped in dumbness and I donāt view dumb shit as anything other than dumb. So fuck this album.
Itās only made worse by being made before punk rockers realized their shitty songs wore out their welcome after 2 minutes and so these songs are as bad as the worst punk rock but three times as long.
I wish I could rate this worse than one star.
1
Dec 01 2023
Legalize It
Peter Tosh
Peter Tosh is one of my favorite reggae artists, but I donāt think this album best represents all he is capable of. I think itās a good album but not a great one.
3
Dec 04 2023
Appetite For Destruction
Guns N' Roses
The singles are great. Thereās definitely a reason that this is one of the biggest selling albums of all time. The other songs are pretty unimpressive. I am probably biased because I donāt really like glam/heavy/hair metal. I get that people like it and I can kind of understand why, but it really doesnāt speak to me.
3
Dec 05 2023
Abraxas
Santana
Great album. Love everything about it. What an incredible sound.
4
Dec 06 2023
Wild Gift
X
When I heard ārisingā repeated on Universal Corner I thought āoh gross, this sounds like The Doors.ā Then I check Wikipedia and see this album was produced by Ray Mancerek and also learn that The Red Hot Chili Peppers sampled a song from this album, so two strikes against Wild Gift. But itās not bad. Adult Books is a pretty good song. I donāt like punk, but this was more melodic and musically varied than what I think of as punk. Not an album Iām likely to spin again, but not entirely unenjoyable.
2
Dec 07 2023
More Specials
The Specials
I like ska. Itās upbeat. Itās fun. Itās got horns. Whatās not to like? When this album sticks to ska, itās pretty good. But when it goes off on weird tangents in genres I canāt really identify, it really drags. Consequently, this album is a bit of a mess.
2
Dec 08 2023
In The Wee Small Hours
Frank Sinatra
Iām a Goldilocks when it comes to music. If itās harder than Monster-era REM, Iām like āChill out and stop screaming, youāre hurting my poor sensitive ears!ā but if itās softer than Neil Diamond, Iām like āzzzzzz, wake me up when you want to rock grandpa.ā
I suppose if I was lounging in a big city apartment in a suit and tie sipping a cocktail at midnight with a cigarette in my hand surrounded by hep daddy-oās and classy dames and calling the get together a clam bake ironically then this would be the perfect album but Iām wearing a tracksuit at 7am getting my kids ready for school in South Carolina and eating a pop tart so this is just not doing it for me.
2
Dec 11 2023
Live At The Harlem Square Club
Sam Cooke
Iām not a big fan of live albums. In the studio, artists have all the time in the world and every piece of equipment under the sun that they can use to record and re-record every piece of their songs and then stitch the best take of each instrument and vocal together so the end result is a song that is absolutely as good as they can make it. Live versions are just one take of whatever they can throw together on a stage on one particular night. All that being said, this is a good live album.
I love Sam Cooke, but he can sound a bit too polished, so it was fun to hear his songs done in a rougher style. āBring it on Home to Meā was particularly enjoyable.
3
Dec 12 2023
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Simon & Garfunkel
Great songs on this album:
1. Cecilia
2. Keep the Customer Satisfied
3. The entire first half of the second side.
Five great songs on one album is pretty strong, but Iād be fine never hearing the title track ever again. āSail on silver girlā š. Definitely an album everyone should hear.
4
Dec 13 2023
The Atomic Mr Basie
Count Basie & His Orchestra
Itās funny that one of these songs is called āThe Late Late Showā because all I can hear when I listen to big band music is The Tonight Show Band blaring out overly enthusiastic bombastic blaring noise to convince people that they are about to have fun.
Hey big band musicians, why is your band so big? Why do you have like 20 horn players? How is having a band this big economical? You pay each horn player $10 and youāre out $400 bucks. Thatās the whole fee youāre getting for the gig. How are you going to pay the other 87 musicians? Are you going to tell Satchmo Jenkins and Tootely Toot Jones that they arenāt getting paid tonight?
Iām deducting one star for each musician involved in making this ruckus above 50. That takes us to negative 8 billion stars.
BWHA BWHAH BAAA WAAA WAHH!!!!!!
2
Dec 14 2023
Fromohio
fIREHOSE
Slightly proggy, slightly grungy, but struck me as more proto-jam band than anything else. Not my thing.
2
Dec 15 2023
Shalimar
Rahul Dev Burman
This is really cool, except the songs that have that high-pitched voiced singer. I loved the first song and āBaby Letās Dance Together.ā Such a crazy mix of different styles. Fun to listen to.
3
Dec 18 2023
Graceland
Paul Simon
Seems to be a huge divide between those that love this album and those that find it to be āsanitised world music for middle class drones with no imagination and less soul.ā Maybe Iām a middle class drone with no imagination or soul, but I love this album like few others. Listening to it never fails to make me happy. Whether that is because of its innate musical qualities or because of nostalgia and my own history with it, I canāt say. All I know is that, to me, this album is as close to perfect as music gets.
5
Dec 19 2023
Ace of Spades
Motƶrhead
I was fully prepared for this to be nothing more than loud angry music for pimply boys in the 80ās to be mad at their parents to, but I was pleasantly surprised when I found myself tapping my steering wheel along to several songs. Yes itās loud and angry but itās also catchy and doesnāt take itself too seriously. Good job scary metal cowboys!
3
Dec 20 2023
Cafe Bleu
The Style Council
Pretty fun album. All over the place stylistically but had some enjoyable moments. Other than āGospelā there werenāt any truly bad songs. Iām glad to have heard it.
3
Dec 21 2023
Seventh Tree
Goldfrapp
I like Trip Hop. At its best, this album sounds like okay Trip Hop. But itās mostly random synth tones and pleasant vocals with no real song structure. Very forgettable.
2
Dec 22 2023
Oedipus Schmoedipus
Barry Adamson
Some of this was kind of okay but most of it was terrible. I donāt need to listen to music to make me feel anxious, Iām plenty anxious on my own.
1
Dec 25 2023
Brothers In Arms
Dire Straits
This is a great jazz influenced pop record. The second side drags a bit, but it is still amazing.
Now here is a play I wrote.
All the band members except Mark Knopler: āFine Mark, you can play your weird 1920ās metal guitar on all the songs. Now itās time to come up with the cover art. What do we want to put on it?ā
Mark Knopler: šš
4
Dec 26 2023
A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector
Various Artists
Some of these songs have been covered tens of thousands of times and the versions of them on this album are some of the best ever done, if not the best. This is an absolute monster of an album. The only downsides are 1) theyāre Christmas songs and so you can only listen to them a few weeks a year and 2) Phil Spector being a murderer. Other than that, a perfect album.
4
Dec 27 2023
Behaviour
Pet Shop Boys
Did Duran Duran and Pet Shop Boys get together and decide to go from disco-y dance pop to sedate snoozefests as soon as 1/1/1990 hit? Whether it was a conspiracy to go from 80ās ravers to 90ās droners or not, I think both versions of both bands suck. āOrdinary Worldā is pretty good but thatās neither here nor there.
The point is, if I didnāt like Pet Shop Boys before they decided to spend forever being boring - and I very much didnāt - then there was no way I was going to like this drab 1990ās version of them. Yawn and pass.
2
Dec 28 2023
Crooked Rain Crooked Rain
Pavement
I love Pavement. Listening to them never fails to take me back to a time and place when they were probably my favorite band. I prefer Slanted and Enchanted to this one, but they are both incredible albums.
I wish grunge had never happened and Pavement/Sebadoh/Dinosaur Jr. had been the sound of the 90ās. Then maybe the Goo Goo Dolls and Limp Bizkit and Korn and the boy bands and Brittneyās and Christinaās wouldnāt have taken over and there would have been no Woodstock ā99 or 9/11 or War on Terror and Gore would have won in 2000 and there wouldnāt have been a writerās strike and The Apprentice would have never made it to air and Trump would have died in semi-obscurity and COVID-19 would have been stopped early by an efficient presidential administration. But it was not to be. Thanks Kurt.
4
Dec 29 2023
Ingenue
k.d. lang
The aural equivalent of watching paint dry. Very Canadian: boring, soulless, inoffensive and bland. It doesn't warrant a 1-star review because it fades into the background so completely that I hardly noticed it. I would almost rather be annoyed by an album than bored into a coma by one, but not quite.
2
Jan 01 2024
Amnesiac
Radiohead
I imagine that anyone doing a 1001 album listening to and reviewing project considers him or her (probably him)self a "music nerd" but obviously there is a giant degree of variation as to what that term means to different people. Some people think that if they have been to five Dave Matthews Band concerts that they are a music nerd and some people think that if you haven't got a top ten list of favorite 1920's-era Zimbabwean throat-singing noise disco artists then you aren't really a music fan at all. I am somewhere in that spectrum, probably on the more basic end, and even in full recognition of that basicness I have some serious apostasies from what I consider to be music nerd orthodoxy. For example, I unironically love Neil Diamond; I cannot for the life of me get what people like about Gang of Four, or post-punk in general; I think Gin Blossoms and Toad the Wet Sprocket were better 90's bands than Nirvana and Peal Jam; I wouldn't kick Air Supply out of bed for eating crackers; and damnit do I hate Radiohead.
I think that if Radiohead were just a one hit wonder grunge era band that kept on making some kind of weird music in their subsequent career that a few people really liked then I would probably say, "The singer's voice is not for me, but its okay" and move on, but Radiohead is held up as the end all be all of music nerd music and I just don't get it. OK Computer is okay. Creep is a pretty good song. But everything else they have ever done can be tossed to the bottom of the ocean for all I care. If they come on the radio I turn the channel. I fucking hate them. I think it is mostly Thom Yorke (had to be "Thom" didn't it? Couldn't possibly be "Tom")'s voice, but its probably just everything. Fuck you, Radiohead. Fuck you, music nerds who think everyone has to like Radiohead.
I wish I was an amnesiac and could forget that this band ever existed. And I think what makes listening to this garbage even more upsetting is knowing full well that there are probably at least three other shitty Radiohead albums on this list. Let's see . . . yep, four albums total. God help me, I'm going to have to endure In Rainbows again. Kill me now.
1
Jan 02 2024
Odessey And Oracle
The Zombies
I wonder if this album gets assigned on 1/1 like the Phil Spector Christmas album gets assigned on 12/25 because āThis Will Be Our Yearā is the perfect song to start a new year with.
I think this would be a five star record if it werenāt for āButcherās Taleā. Even with that dud this is a 4-star record for me. I think the baroque pop sound is so unique and enjoyable to listen to. A great album.
4
Jan 03 2024
Roxy Music
Roxy Music
I like a couple of Brian Eno songs. I like āMore Than This.ā But this album is garbage. Nothing about this makes me want to listen to it.
2
Jan 04 2024
Moby Grape
Moby Grape
This is pretty good. I feel like this was a sound that was popular at the time and I am sure that hundreds of bands did it worse than these guys, but quite a few did it better too. If you get tired of listening to all the bands that did this sound better than Moby Grape did - or if want to get the classic rock version of indie cred for listening to a forgotten band with a tragic story - by all means, put on Moby Grape. I am glad that I have now heard Moby Grape and I could totally see listening to this album again. Not life-changing but decent.
However, the joke that resulted in their band name: āWhat is purple and swims in the ocean? Moby Grape!ā I donāt get it. āWhat is purple and conquered the world? Alexander the Grape!ā makes sense because āGrapeā rhymes with āGreat.ā But Moby Dick and Moby Grape donāt rhyme. I donāt get that joke and I suspect either itās stupid or Iām stupid or a little of both but either way Iām angry.
3
Jan 05 2024
Quiet Life
Japan
Oh look, more generic British synth pop. Too bland to hate but nothing to recommend it either.
2
Jan 08 2024
Abbey Road
Beatles
This is a tough album to rate. Part of me thinks I should give all Beatles albums on this list five stars because they invented modern pop music (or stole it from American R&B and country and brought it to white middle class teenagers like Prometheus bringing fire to mankind). But I think Abbey Road has some problems. I hate āCome Togetherā and donāt like āSomething.ā āOh! Darlingā is good but a bit much on the Little Richard impersonation. āOctopusās Gardenā is a Ringo song š.
But starting with āI Want You (Sheās so heavy)ā itās essentially perfect. Ridiculously, insanely perfect. āOh that magic feeling, nowhere to goā wrecks me every time I hear it. Even āGolden Slumbersā isnāt too treacly when it comes after the long suite of songs blending together that precedes it. Then capped off by the weird and wonderful 23 seconds of āHer Majesty.ā
Fuck it, five stars.
5
Jan 09 2024
What's Going On
Marvin Gaye
This album has some great songs on it, but itās real accomplishment is to knit every song on the record together into a song cycle where the entire album sounds like one song rather than a collection of songs. Then what takes that to an entire other level is that these were incredibly talented musicians and composers at the tops of their games and so the song cycle is both an amazing technical achievement and sounds beautiful at basically every second of its 35 and a half minute length. This album is deservedly frequently ranked as the greatest album of all time. Popular music doesnāt get much better than this.
5
Jan 10 2024
School's Out
Alice Cooper
I donāt like Gwar or Rob Zombie or Alice Cooper. I donāt want any horror in my rock & roll. The only thing scary about those bands is how shitty their music is. Grand Finale was decent because it was an instrumental and they couldnāt make it all stupid with their stupid lyrics. Other than that this is total garbage.
2
Jan 11 2024
Beach Samba
Astrud Gilberto
āThe Girl From Ipanemaā sold five million copies and Stan Getz made sure that Astrud Gilberto only got $120 for her contribution to it (Getz was a monster who swindled and sexually assaulted his way across America in the 60ās). Gilbertoās husband cheated on her and she was so desperate for money because of their break-up that she toured with Getz and reportedly slept with him. Astrud Gilberto was one of the countless talented women who the music industry used, abused and discarded. And now that I have listened to āBeach Sambaā, I feel the karmic scales are somewhat balanced.
I guess the idea is that if she sounded good backed by some of the greatest jazz musicians of all time that sheād sound just as good with the most generic Muzak they could find in the background? This album is a waste of Astrud Gilbertoās beautiful voice. I had to go home and listen to āGetz Gilbertoā just to get the taste of this album out of my mouth.
2
Jan 12 2024
I See You
The xx
Jamie xx's "I Know There's Gonna Be (Good Times)" is one of my favorite songs so I always think I am going to like The xx, and they are always . . . fine. I will find one of their songs completely tolerable, but I'll think, "dang, is this like a ten minute long song?" and then see that it's been two and a half minutes. Nothing is wrong with The xx's music, but itās just kind of there. It's like the quinoa of music.
2
Jan 15 2024
My Aim Is True
Elvis Costello
Itās hard to think of anything to say about this album. I love it. I love every song on it. Iāve listened to it hundreds of times and it never gets old. Iām the guy from the Walking Dead in Love Actually and this album is Kiera Knightly. Iām just standing outside this albumās door holding up a sign that says āTo me youāre perfect.ā
5
Jan 16 2024
Disraeli Gears
Cream
First off, I have to admit that I have been too hard on this album in the past because I misheard a few important lyrics. I thought they were saying "Strange Brew, girl what's inside of you?" Now I see it's "kill what's inside of you." That is much cooler. Also, in SWLABR I thought it was "the vicar has a mustache" but its "the picture has a mustache," which is not great but at least it isn't so off-puttingly British as using the word "vicar" in a rock song.
I think I also like this album a little less than I otherwise might because "Sunshine of Your Love", like Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit", has been overused in film and television to let the viewer know that the scene is set in the 1960's and possibly hippies and drugs are involved. That has made it harder for me to appreciate that song, and that song is definitely one of the tentpoles of the album, along with Strange Brew and Tales of Brave Ulysses.
All in all, this is a pretty good album, but I think it is overhyped. There are some really great songs, but there are also some duds. I have no issue with it being included on a list of 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die, but I would not rank it as the 87th-greatest album of all time as VH1 did in 2001. Some other lists put it in the high 100's of greatest albums, which I think is getting closer to where I would put it, but still might be overrating it as far as Iām concerned.
3
Jan 17 2024
So Much For The City
The Thrills
Everyone knows that an American who appropriates Japanese culture is called a weeaboo. Most people are also familiar with the term for Americans that ridiculously mimic a stereotype of Irish culture: Bostonians. But do you know what you call Irish people who cosplay as 1960ās Californians? The Thrills.
I like this album. I heard āBig Surā on The OC soundtrack, read the review on Pitchfork, torrented the album and then burned it onto a CD to listen to in my Saturn with an āF: The Presidentā sticker on the back. Could that sentence BE more early 2000ās?
Despite my fondness for this album, Iām not sure it is one of the 1001 albums to hear before you die. It seems a little too slight and unimportant to warrant that. But, I liked it in 2003 and enjoyed listening to it again today, so whoās to say?
3
Jan 18 2024
Nothing's Shocking
Jane's Addiction
āJane Saysā is a great song. The rest of the album is just okay. Perry Farrell seems like kind of a jerk and I donāt like his screechy singing. I hear less Zeppelin than Van Halen and RHCP and shitty hair metal. Itās not the worst album but it really doesnāt do it for me.
2
Jan 19 2024
Pelican West
Haircut 100
The band Chicago is pretty lame, but I absolutely love their self-titled first album when they were called Chicago Transit Authority. At its best, this album sounds like Chicago Transit Authority mixed with sophistapop and itās awesome.
This is probably my favorite album I have heard doing this project that I wasnāt familiar with before (I had heard āLove Plus Oneā on Sirius XMās First Wave channel but nothing else). The lyrics left a lot to be desired and it was a bit too cheesy in parts, but overall I really dug it. I am a sucker for a horn section.
3
Jan 22 2024
Cosmo's Factory
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Take country, R&B, rockabilly, straight ahead 50ās rock and psychedelia and have a band that takes their craft seriously and has a strong pop sensibility mix them all together and you get one of the great American albums. I love the extended āI Heard it Through the Grapevineā jam and "Long as I Can See the Light".
If this album has any downside itās that it is a de facto CCR greatest hits album and several of the songs have been worn out by classic rock radio. However, even fifty years of over-playing five of these songs canāt overcome how incredible an album this is.
4
Jan 23 2024
The Suburbs
Arcade Fire
I really like Funeral but have liked this band less with every subsequent album, stolen basketball, Disney collab and sex pest allegation. Trying to listen to The Suburbs today with unbiased ears, itās okay. A bit too bombastic and pompous. Sprawl II is a good song. All in all, if it isnāt Funeral then Iād rather just skip it.
2
Jan 24 2024
Butterfly
Mariah Carey
*Mariah*: This SUUUHUHUHACKKSS UHUHUAAHHHSSSHooooAAHHSSā
*Puff Daddy ārapā break*: āThis sucks. She is saying āthis sucksā but stretching the words out way longer than is necessary because thatās what good singing is? Also Iām a rapist.ā
*āRapā break over, back to Mariah*: āThis really SUUHAACCCKS ooooo UHUHUAHHSSSSAHHooooAAHHSS!ā
This āalbumā is just that for almost an hour. No amount of yass-slaying this queen is going to make this anything other than disposable 90ās pop garbage.
No one should ever listen to this, much less have to listen to it before they die. 60% of the ālyricsā are āAAAAAAHHHHHHā Oooooooā āEEEEEEEā and a high-pitched squeaking sound. This is a paper plate of an album. Meant to appeal to what was popular at that exact moment, sell a bunch of copies and then be discarded and forgotten. Its existence is a net negative for humanity. My day, and my very life, are worse for having had to endure this āmusic.ā
1
Jan 25 2024
Master Of Puppets
Metallica
Iād like to say that I hate Metallica because they were millionaires who sued to stop normal people from getting around having to pay them even more money to add to their hoards while pretending that their greed was really about artistic integrity, but honestly I just really really hate this shit.
Oooooh puppet masters controlling people. How profound! So anti-authoritarian and anti-war. Oh wait, whatās that James Hetfield? You are "honored" the U.S. military used Metallica's music to psychologically torture prisoners of war because it "help[ed] us stay safe."? Wow, what an absolute piece of shit you are.
I guess stupid angry people need something to listen to in their jean jackets while driving their Geo Metros to go see the latest Fast and the Furious movie, but for everyone who didnāt stop growing as a person at 15, this is unbearable.
And before you start talking to me about 21/32 time signatures and chromatic scales, donāt bother because I donāt know what any of that means. But prog rock bands do all that band geek autism stuff too, but their music is actually enjoyable. In fact, the only way I got through listening to this album was to pretend it was just heavier prog rock, which helped, but not much.
1
Jan 26 2024
Paul Simon
Paul Simon
Paul Simon is SO BAD at choosing album cover art, that I feel it important to celebrate this album for him doing a good job in that realm for a change (possibly the only other time being Graceland). All the Simon and Garfunkel album covers are embarrassingly lame. Well, Sounds of Silence is okay, but that Greatest Hits cover, woof. And then There Goes Rhymin Simon is giving Steely Dan a run for the worst album cover by a great recording artist of all time. When Paul Simon was picking his stats he put everything into song writing and musical ability and attributed no points to graphic design, the min-maxing motherfucker.
I just watched The Wrecking Crew documentary and was surprised to recognize several of the session musicians from that movie as playing on this album. Makes sense I suppose. Paul Simon is the type to bring in whoever will make his album as good as it can be. Itās really no different than going to Kingston to record with members of Toots and the Maytals in order to make āMother and Child Reunionā sound like actual Reggae and not a pale imitation. Paul Simon was going to make the best music he could make and didnāt care if he had to beg, borrow or steal to do it.
The first song on each side is the hit and up there amongst the best pop music of all time. But the rest of the album isnāt filler. It never reaches the heights of the two singles, but they are almost all compelling songs in their own way. This is a great artist making an album when he was in his prime. The world is a better place for this album being in it.
4
Jan 29 2024
Blood On The Tracks
Bob Dylan
I think this album is mythologized to such a degree that it is hard to tell if Iām reacting to what Iām hearing or to the hype. There was a time in my life when I thought I really liked this album. Now Iām not so sure.
I think itās shitty that Dylan never gave the Minneapolis session players that re-recorded several of the songs credit. I think itās shitty that he showed up to the New York sessions drunk and acted like he didnāt care about what he was doing. I have rarely been as horrified as when I heard Bette Midler singing āBuckets of Rainā. I far prefer the New York versions of āYouāre a Big Girl Nowā and āIdiot Windā but think some of the Minneapolis versions are better, like āRosemary, Lily and the Jack of Heartsā.
At this point in my life, I am in neither the āBob Dylan is rockās greatest poetā camp nor the āThis guyās voice is terrible, turn it offā camp. I like most of Desire and most of Blonde on Blonde. I like Rolling Thunder Revue era Dylan with his eye liner and his silly feathered cap. I like some of Highway 61, and Bringing It All Back Home and John Wesley Harding. But only some of those albums. If I never heard folk or born again era Dylan again Iād be fine with that.
As for Blood on the Tracks, I think I like some of it okay. āMeet me in the Morningā and āBuckets of Rainā are pretty cool songs. But I think that Iāve listened to this album too many times at too many ages to really hear it when I put it on. I think itās probably pretty good. I think people should listen to it before they die, but itās not an album I am likely to put on. And isnāt that what makes an album good? Something you enjoy listening to and want to play? Cause for me, this isnāt that.
3
Jan 30 2024
Rio
Duran Duran
Pop music is always evolving but this is exactly what it sounded like in 1982. Duran Duran should be commended for flawlessly capturing the sound of the moment and making it memorable and catchy enough to still resonate 40 years later.
This is way better than a lot of the generic 80ās British synth-pop on this list that is a chore to slog through (Iām looking at you Human Leaugueās Dare and Japan). The cover is iconic, the hits are absolute monsters (with āSave a Prayerā and āThe Chauffeurā being standouts for me) and āLast Chance on the Stairwayā is a song I had never heard before that kicks ass.
All that being said, having lived through this era, although being too young to really participate in it, pictures of this band and seeing the videos bum me out for reasons I canāt fully articulate. Maybe because Duran Duran, and people who owned Duran Duran albums, were the cool kids living a glamorous life that I could only glimpse from the outside. Duran Duran always feels like really good music made for people who arenāt me, rather than feeling like music made for me.
Still, they were the absolute best at what they were doing, even if they were doing it for people who had way spikier hair and shinier shirts than I did. So, credit where credit is due.
3
Jan 31 2024
Venus Luxure No. 1 Baby
Girls Against Boys
I tried to convince myself this wasnāt that bad by thinking, āItās kind of like The Jesus Lizard, I guessā but really this reminded me of nothing so much as Bush. So fuck this. I didnāt like this kind of shit when I was an angry young man, so Iām certainly not going to like it now that Iām a bitter, grouchy tired old man.
1
Feb 01 2024
The Contino Sessions
Death In Vegas
Okay techno/triphop/shoegaze. Not something Iād ever feel a desire to listen to again, but it being the assigned album didnāt ruin my day. I wish a genie had offered the band the ability to take itself a little less seriously in exchange for having to make every song on the album two minutes shorter. But other than those issues, this was fine.
2
Feb 02 2024
Triangle
The Beau Brummels
At times this sounds a little bit like the soundtrack to the Rankin/Bass animated Hobbit movie (https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL545948224B999E8A&si=PC6Lk90OH7Wwg8JP) which isn't a bad thing, but also is not necessarily a great thing either. This struck me as very 1960's San Francisco. While I think it is an interesting artifact of its time, I would not consider it an album everyone needs to hear.
2
Feb 05 2024
Songs In The Key Of Life
Stevie Wonder
I think Stevie Wonder is one of the greatest pop musicians of all time and this is his masterpiece. His mid-70ās run of amazing albums, culminating in this one, may be unmatched in music history. The breadth and depth of songs on this album is unbelievable. Fun, soulful, socially conscious, personal, danceable; this album is everything you could possibly want in a record. I donāt think it would be hyperbolic to say, as many people have said before, that this is the best album ever made.
5
Feb 06 2024
Blackstar
David Bowie
David Bowie was born in 1947. Raquel Welch was born in 1940. David Bowie released Ziggy Stardust in 1972 when he was 25 years old. Raquel Welch was in the film where her famed doe-skinned bikini shot was taken in 1966 when she was 26 years old. Raquel Welch Was 69 years old in 2009. David Bowie was 69 years old in 2016 when Blackstar was released. If you want to listen to a David Bowie album made in 2016, do you want to look at a poster of Raquel Welch in a bikini from 2009? Iām sure Raquel Welch was interesting and charming and insightful at 69 years of age, and I may have loved reading an article she wrote or watching an interview with her at that age, but I wouldnāt want to see Raquel Welch bikini-modeling in 2009, and I donāt want to listen to Blackstar.
Obviously, bikini-modeling and making music are not the same thing, but I would argue that, while older people can still enjoy it, rock and roll music is primarily made by and for young people, just as posters of women in bikinis are. And even if this album canāt be classified as rock and roll, thatās what Bowie was famous for doing (I know, I know, Low etc., still) and so what makes his ambient, jazz noise album any more desirable to listen to than any other 69-year oldās?
I am a firm believer in Sick Boyās Unifying Theory of Life: āat one point, youāve got it, then you lose it. Then itās gone forever, all walks of life. . . āThe Name of the Roseā is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.ā We all get old if we live long enough. Some of us, like Bowie, achieve greatness for a brief period if we are exceedingly talented and brave and lucky. Bowie was brilliant when he was brilliant, but in 2016 he was decades past his prime. Blackstar is an interesting artifact and I suppose a nice āparting gift to his fansā (they still had to buy it though didnāt they) but itās not for me, and I suspect that itās not really for most people, if theyāre being honest with themselves.
2
Feb 07 2024
Elephant
The White Stripes
I was blown away by this album when it came out. When āSeven Nation Armyā became such a big hit, The White Stripes felt like a breath of fresh air and so, not necessarily original, but so different than anything else that was happening at the time in mainstream music. I found them to be very exciting then, and still enjoy this album now.
Musicians are great, but rock stars are really fun, and The White Stripes were rock stars. The mythology, the motifs, the brashness and confidence; all classic rock star stuff. And the songs are worthy of all the trappings that accompanied them. This is definitely an album everyone should hear.
4
Feb 08 2024
Under Construction
Missy Elliott
Missyās and Timbalandās beats and creativity are impressive as always. She merges a very old school style of rapping with production that was way ahead of its time. She was a shot in the arm for hip-hop and is an amazing talent.
All that being said, this album has some real duds on it. This is more āWork Itā-and-Friends than an actual album. But āWork Itā is such a great song that itās hard to be too mad about that. I think Missy, like many rappers, is a single-oriented artist rather than someone focused on making a cohesive album.
I think someone dying having never heard āWork Itā would have really missed out, but this album? Youād be alright giving it a pass.
2
Feb 09 2024
Veckatimest
Grizzly Bear
Good lord, when I see the words āchamber popā I shudder in horror. I kind of get what these guys are going for, but most of the record I just wonder why they would ever want to go for this. When itās at its best itās kind of hypnotic and jammy and a pleasant wall of sound kind of thing. But you have to fight through a lot of āgoddamit will you fucking hipster nerds shut the fuck up?!ā to get to that point. All things being equal, Iād rather listen to an actual album with actual songs than this harpsichord woodwind tonal stew.
2
Feb 12 2024
Gorillaz
Gorillaz
An English virtual band exploring a variety of musical styles including hip hop, electronic and world music made up of NFT-looking anime human/ape hybrids?
https://wifflegif.com/gifs/552151-mr-pink-fuck-all-that-reservoir-dogs-gif
Some of this music was perfectly fine. I like Damon Albarnās work. But knowing that Iām supposed to listen to this while watching cartoon monkeys really tanks the whole experience for me. Iāll stick to listening to Blur.
3
Feb 13 2024
Pet Sounds
The Beach Boys
Iāve owned this album for decades and listened to it a hundred times or more. Itās almost too big to rate. Itās been lauded as one of the top two or three albums of all time for longer than Iāve been alive, but how often does someone decide to spin Pet Sounds just for the hell of it?
Maybe the baby boomersā lead-exposure-damaged brains cause them to think an anxious and depressed twenty-something boy band member who had until that point only made songs about surfing, cars and girls but decided to hire a bunch of studio musicians with the deliberate intention of making the greatest rock album of all time and then started playing glockenspiels and coca-cola bottles is good. Maybe itās just three hits, a bunch of filler, and one full on Exotica song for some reason.
I donāt know. But when an album kicks off with āWouldnāt it Be Niceā and then goes on to contain āSloop John Bā and āGod Only Knowsā, itās hard not to give it full marks. āHere Todayā and āIām Waiting for the Dayā arenāt too bad either.
Ultimately, I am trying to rate albums based on how I feel about them as an individual and not based on their place in rock history or whatever. For me, Pet Sounds is a cool sounding and pretty album that I can appreciate for not being afraid to get real weird. But I donāt consider it one of my all-time favorites.
4
Feb 14 2024
OxygĆØne
Jean-Michel Jarre
It was weird reading the Wikipedia page about Oxygene and learning that it was an international sensation that sold 10 to 15 million copies, and that Jean Michel Jarre was the first Westerner to ever play China and put on the biggest concert of all time, because I had never heard of this album or this artist before today. It felt like that Berenstein Bears thing where you feel like youāve shifted to a slightly different dimension.
I thought Oxygene sounded a little like Tangerine Dream and a little like Tubular Bells but did not appeal to me as much as either of those. I appreciate that this album was ahead of its time when it was made but I think this type of music has been taken to a lot more interesting places in subsequent years.
I found listening to this comparable to someone liking Renaissance art and then being told to check out crappy medieval art from before they figured out perspective. Like yeah, this guyās flat face in this circa 1135 painting is cool and all, and was the best they could do at the time, but Iād rather go back to Raphael and Michelangelo and the other ninja turtles.
2
Feb 15 2024
Two Dancers
Wild Beasts
Stupid, banal, totally unexceptional in every way. Sounds like a shitty Roxy Music, and Roxy Music is already shitty enough on its own. It also reminded me of all those recent bad Arctic Monkeys albums where they are trying to be space lounge singers. Just a waste of an album pick.
2
Feb 16 2024
Crime Of The Century
Supertramp
I like Supertramp. The blending of pop and prog that they pull off when they are firing on all cylinders is really fun. I had heard "Bloody Well Right" before, but while I have spun Breakfast in America a bunch of times and really like it, I do not believe that I had heard anything else from this album before. Honestly, other than "Bloody Well Right", I don't hear anything on this album that I would necessarily want to hear again.
Crime of the Century seems to take itself a little more seriously than the band does on Breakfast in America. I am giving the album three stars because it is Supertramp, but not peak Supertramp.
3
Feb 19 2024
The White Album
Beatles
If I had a time machine, I would go back to any time when a band or artist was contemplating making a double album and force them at ray gun point (because I assume if I have a time machine I also have a ray gun) to just make a really good single album instead. The only exceptions being Songs in the Key of Life, Exile on Mainstreet, The Basement Tapes and maybe Blonde on Blonde.
The White Album is great, but you know what would have been better?
Back in the U.S.S.R.
Dear Prudence
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Happiness Is A Warm Gun
I'm So Tired
Blackbird
I Will
Julia
Birthday
Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey
Helter Skelter
Long, Long, Long
That album would be up there with Abbey Road as a near perfect Beatles album. Instead you've got this giant sprawling mess of a double album that includes a bunch of songs that nobody needs or wants.
I get it, they were super famous and nobody could tell them no, they had fried their brains on acid, they had all just had a bad three-month-long weird cult vacation and they weren't getting along. Still, if you watch that Apple TV special where they recorded them for forty-something hours while they made Let it Be, Paul says something about how the band had been off its game since "Mr. Epstein" died because Brian Epstein kept them in line. I have to agree. These chuckleheads needed a grown up.
The White Album isn't bad (I know, hot take) but it suffers from the classic double-album curse. It could have been an amazing single album.
4
Feb 20 2024
Aja
Steely Dan
Iām smiling as Iām reading the bad reviews of this album that all the sweet summer children are leaving. There is some time travel movie or book I saw or read once and forgot where the main character is a passionate believer in one thing at one point in his life and a zealot for the other side captures and tortures him and then later itās revealed that the zealot is him from the future who has been converted to the other side and goes back and tortures his younger self. You then learn that itās half hatred inspiring the torture of his younger self, but itās half love. That is how I feel about people who donāt yet love this album.
And I say āloveā not ālikeā because one day you will love this album. It is inevitable. The day your goatee becomes predominantly white, this album will arrive in the mail on vinyl, no postmark or return address. You will look at it disdainfully but put it on - because why not? - and it will sound to you like the best thing you have ever heard. You will goggle at the way its seven songs burst with sophisticated changes, exquisitely played by such jazz luminaries as saxophonist Wayne Shorter and keyboardist-vibraphonist Victor Feldman (both graduates of Miles Davisā ā60s bands) and session pros like bassist Chuck Rainey, drummers Steve Gadd, Jim Keltner and Bernard Purdie, saxophonists Jim Horn and Plas Johnson, pianist Paul Griffin and guitarists Larry Carlton and Lee Ritenour.
The hypnotic suavity of the musical concepts and Fagen and Beckerās propensity for writing brainy, elliptical lyrics will thrill a part of your soul that has always been there waiting to emerge. You will fall down on your knees like Saul on the road to Damascus and when you rise you will be Paul. And you will love this album with the type of fervor that only the convert can have.
I smile as I read your one-and-two-star reviews calling this album boring elevator music because I was you once, and it seems like it wasnāt that long ago. But two things are undefeated in this life: Father Time and The Dan. And both of them are coming for you.
One day soon we may sit together and discuss how āBlack Cowāās silken, soul-derived groove (propelled by Raineyās fat bass lines), Feldmanās pristine electric piano solo and Tom Scottās tenor sax outburst all cloak the tale of a man at odds with his drug-addicted, promiscuous girlfriend, whom he may or may not be clandestinely stalking. We will hear that unmistakable gravelly voice singing āPegā in the background, and Iāll say, āSteely Dan sought out the absolute master of every single instrument that was played on this album to contribute, and the voice is an instrument, which is why they hired Michael McDonald as their back-up singerā and youāll smile and nod.
Steely Danās unique blend of smooth sophisticated music and complex and dark lyricism will unite us as brothers and we will commune together enjoying this album with no hint of cynicism or irony because we will have moved past those concepts and be far too enlightened to engage in such trivialities in what we will know is the entirely too short amount of time remaining to us in this life.
And on that day, both of our backs will hurt.
5
Feb 21 2024
Younger Than Yesterday
The Byrds
The Byrds are a very influential band. Sweetheart of the Rodeo is a great album. I like jangly folk/country rock. Plus, I'm sure 60ās teeny-boppers appreciated being able to hear Pat Boone versions of Dylan songs so they could feel like they were super groovy without having to listen to the voice of the voice of their generation. But Younger than Yesterday is not doing it for me.
A fair amount of this album is straight up lame (looking at you "Mind Gardens"), and when it isn't lame it just isn't substantial enough to warrant being on a list of 1001 albums you must hear before you die. I'm not discounting that the Byrds are an important band that made some great songs and inspired some of my favorite bands of all time (REM, Big Star, The Jayhawks), but this album is not very good.
2
Feb 22 2024
Melodrama
Lorde
***WARNING: Early-mid-40's-year-old-man rant incoming***
Here is something I don't understand about Lorde, and while we're at it, Lana Del Rey/Billie Eilish/Olivia Rodrigo/etc.: are they pop or not? In the "I think this might be pop" category, they win Grammys and sell out stadiums and are played on pop radio and have hits. On the other hand, they don't make songs that are fun to listen to. And isn't that what pop is, at its core? Fun songs that make you want to dance and sing along? Because I would not describe any songs by any of the artists I have named that way, except maybe "Royals".
And - I totally get it - I am lumping Lorde in with other female artists around her age and dissing all of them for not making pop music. Which smacks of some kind of backwards attitude that men can make art but women have to make pop. But before I am totally canceled, back in my day we had Tori Amos and Fiona Apple, and before that there was, I don't know, Kate Bush? Those artists were making music that, for the most part, wasn't poppy, but had something else going for it, whether that was unique instrumentation or engaging lyrics or . . . something. And for me, most of Lorde/Lana Del Rey/Billie Eilish/Olivia Rodrigo's songs aren't pop and also don't have anything else going for them. They are just tinkling pianos and boring synths and I'm-14-and-this-is-deep lyrics.
I like Tori Amos and Kate Bush and Bjork and PJ Harvey and Regina Spektor, so I think my I-enjoy-female-artists-even-when-they-aren't-all-that-poppy bona fides are firmly established. Therefore, I think that there may be some validity to this rant . . . possibly mixed with an unhealthy dose of misogyny and I need to really examine some of my assumptions and possibly do better. But, speaking from my current unenlightened state, I don't like this album. Also, fuck Lana Del Rey.
2
Feb 23 2024
The Queen Is Dead
The Smiths
For men, the most important period for forming musical taste is between the ages of 13 to 16 according to the first article that came up on my Google search. Well, I had The Smiths Best Vol.ās 1 and 2 when I was in high school and wore those discs out I played them so much and so itās hard for me to be unbiased when it comes to The Smiths. They are such a perfect band for a lonely, introverted, pretentious teenage boy. Iām so glad that The Smiths exist and that I had them to mope to during those prime time moping years.
The Queen is Dead has an embarrassment of riches of great songs on it. āThe Boy with the Thorn in His Side", "Bigmouth Strikes Again", "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out", āCemetry Gatesā. Itās insane. Morrissey was such an incredible lyricist (at this time at least) and Johnny Marr has a sound that is so unique and so fun to listen to. The two of them together are sublime. I love this band and I love this album.
4
Feb 26 2024
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
I know this is an important record and I know it has to be on this list. But I am going to give it two stars for the same reason that if it were 1500 B.C. I would be amazed by staring at a fire, but in 2024 I'm not. The world has moved past this sound and I personally find it pretty basic and if I hear that generic rockabilly riff that has been used in 8 billion songs one more time I'm going to kill myself. That being said, if I was a teeny-bopper in 1956 I'd be losing my fucking shit over this album.
Also, Elvis is one lucky motherfucker. Race is a social construct but culture is real. And while cultural appropriation - in the sense of just adopting signifiers of other cultures as a fashion accessory - is wrong; cultural exchange is admirable and is how you get basically every genre of music. Different cultures are constantly mixing and blending and stealing from one another's musical traditions and creating new types of music from the weird Frankenstein babies that they make, and its great.
Cut to the 1950's and there is a giant blockage in the mixed streams that lead to new music being created and shared because colonizers and slave traders invented the concept of race in the 1660's to justify their rape and pillaging of other peoples in the name of profit. And almost 300 years later, there was still this artificial separation between musical traditions in America. That left millions of white teenagers with no idea that black Americans had invented a new sound called Rock & Roll.
So who comes along but a talented boy singer from Memphis who had charisma and a unique vocal style and a pretty face and could dance. But more importantly, he could do pretty decent versions of all this great music that those millions of teenagers hadn't heard yet and that allowed him to become the best selling artist of all time based on a decent amount of talent, but no more than thousands of other artists who were nowhere near as successful.
Congratulations Elvis, the Atlantic slave trade allowed you to become famous enough to spend twenty years popping pills, having pillow fights with 14-year old girls, making shitty low-budget movies, posing with Nixon and then dying on a toilet in your huge tacky mansion.
2
Feb 27 2024
The Next Day
David Bowie
I think we all know someone who is a completist about a particular artist. They think that if there is a recording of Miles Davis or Bob Dylan or Phish or whomever singing in the shower at age 68 that everyone must hear it. It is clear that Robert Dimery is a completist when it comes to David Bowie. Now, there are worse artists to be obsessed with, but I am done with humoring this clear delusion. [Insert Meme of Robert Deniro saying, "Are you saying that David Bowie made some albums not worth listening to?" and the Joker replying, "I am. And I'm tired of pretending that there aren't" here].
There is a scene in the television show "Sports Night" where a character is trying to edit a baseball game down to its highlights and he gets too in the weeds and just can't cut anything. His version has five minutes of a pitcher pitching to a batter with no hits, and a coworker comes in and asks why he hasn't cut that and he replies that you have to see it because it allows you to appreciate the battle. Then the producer pops her head in and says, "Just give me the double off the wall, the homer in the fifth, and the error at third" and that is the end of it.
In the spirit of that scene, the David Bowie albums that make the cut of 1001 albums you should hear before you die are Hunky Dory, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Low, He has a lot of great songs, but they are spread out over too many albums filled with too many not great songs to warrant any further inclusion on a list of this kind. And I am tired of pretending otherwise.
1
Feb 28 2024
The Real Thing
Faith No More
I only knew āEpicā and would have been fine living my whole life that way. Veered between lame late-80ās metal, RHCP imitations and just stupid California bro- music, with cringy lyrics running throughout. Some of the bass and drums were well done, which is not surprising for a metal band. I also appreciated the willingness to experiment with various genres. But all in all, this is a hard pass for me.
2
Feb 29 2024
Everything Must Go
Manic Street Preachers
Good God. I know that in the U.K. they eat mushy green peas and beans on toast for every meal and watch "comedians" being droll and witty while pretending to play a game show for entertainment, but do they really not have any concept of "bland"? This music is bland. It is as bland as the album cover and the pictures of the people who made this shitty album. This is the aural equivalent of mushy green peas.
2
Mar 01 2024
Unknown Pleasures
Joy Division
Man, fuck this spooky-ass, haunted house, Count Chocula, doom and gloom, oggedy boogedy, creepy crawly, monster mash bullshit and the wolfman it rode in on. Fucking laser beam solos on āInsightā. This sucks. Go smoke cigarettes in a graveyard you techno-goth nerds. š§+š¤=š©
1
Mar 04 2024
The Downward Spiral
Nine Inch Nails
Oh boy, an album by the esteemed artist who scored "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem"! Look, I suppose if you can't make music that sounds good for normal people to enjoy then you can make loud, discordant noise for stupid, angry people to enjoy, and can make a lot of money that way because there are plenty of stupid angry people in the world who can often manage to scrounge together $15. But this is stupid noise and it sucks.
1
Mar 05 2024
If I Should Fall From Grace With God
The Pogues
The Pogues are fun to listen to and this is a very good album. Itās not something I am super into or spin very often, but I am glad this band and this album exist. And āFairytale of New Yorkā makes me cry every time I hear it.
3
Mar 06 2024
Planet Rock: The Album
Afrika Bambaataa
When this started, I thought āoh great, a historically important album that is going to feel like homework to listen toā but by āRenegades of Funkā it had won me over. Yes, it is foundational to modern rap and hip hop, but itās also just fun to listen to. Iāve heard it said that music is supposed to be fun, thatās why creating songs is called āplaying musicā. This felt like people āplaying musicā in every sense: creating something new with joy and excitement and flair. I really liked it.
3
Mar 07 2024
Sex Packets
Digital Underground
Incredibly dated but honestly still catchy and fun. āThe Humpty Danceā was played ad nauseam in 1990 with good reason because it rocks. Iām glad to have heard this album. There needs to be more nautical and sci-fi themed rap.
Quick movie pitch: Hannibal Burress did a bit on a podcast lovingly making fun of old school rappers and how simple their rhymes were, and I think that two minute bit could be made into a whole movie.
Open on our heroes, old school rappers on top of the world selling out clubs just by going, āMy name is [rapper] and Iām here to say . . .ā and telling people to wear condoms and not to smoke crack. Then a Rakim-like rapper comes along and starts doing internal and multisyllabic rhymes and the old school rappers get made irrelevant overnight.
And then other stuff happens. I guess a love interest maybe. Then the old school and new school rappers unite to defeat a common enemy or something. I donāt know. I donāt know how to write screen plays, but you get the idea.
Call it āRhyme of the Centuryā, cast Hannibal Buress, Chris Rock and Will Ferrell as LL Cool J. Make a million dollars. Youāre welcome.
3
Mar 08 2024
Joan Baez
Joan Baez
Reading Ms. Baezās Wikipedia page, she seems like a very good and genuine person. She was obviously a skilled guitarist even at 19 when this album was recorded. āSilver Daggerā āHouse of the Rusing Sunā and āWildwood Flowerā are pretty good songs.
Now that all the positive stuff is out of the way, this sucks and I hate it. I hate her voice. I donāt like hearing Colonial Williamsburg music. If I hear about the āsalt seaā one more time Iām going to scream. Fuck all of this.
2
Mar 11 2024
Nilsson Schmilsson
Harry Nilsson
āNilsson became big when The Beatles named dropped himā. Wake up sheeple. The Beatles had stupid money and power at that time and had the juice to hire a bunch of scientists to mix all four of their essences up together into one person and then age him up to their age so they could hang out and jam with him.
The scientists did it in some weird all-chrome 1960ās lab while smoking cigarettes so it came out a bit off, but they pretty much accomplished it. Harry Nilsson had Paulās old-timey pop sensibilities, Johnās acerbic wit, Georgeās naive vulnerability and Ringoās goofiness. Heās a one man The Beatles, but just kind of a fucked up one.
All of Harry Nilssonās albums are worth listening to, but this really is the one you need to hear before you die. I think āall the songs sound the sameā is lazy criticism because it means you arenāt paying enough attention to pick up on nuances, but there honestly are some albums that really feel like that. This album is the exact opposite. Every single song is wildly different from the others but they all sound like Nilsson.
This is a great album by a weird lab-grown Frankenstein monster man who never felt at home in this world because he was brought to life by mad scientists and pop stars arrogantly playing God. Also it has a great beat and you can dance to it.
4
Mar 12 2024
L.A. Woman
The Doors
āMR MOJO RISINā is an anagram for āJim Morrisonā. Poetic genius Jim
Morrison came up with that in the days before the internet made it possible for narcissistic nerds to view every possible anagram of their names in seconds. This dork had to sit down with a pen and paper to work that shit out.
There is some inoffensive blues rock on this album, but nothing that makes wading through the ocean of pretension that is The Doors worthwhile. Oliver Stone should have to pay reparations to anyone who sat through that awful movie, and anyone who thinks Jim Morrison wouldnāt be a Trump supporting Q-Anon podcaster if he was still alive is kidding themselves.
- RIFLE WAILS, MD
2
Mar 13 2024
Want One
Rufus Wainwright
58 minutes is too long for an album, especially one this boring. If there were any interesting moments in any of these songs, I would say he should have just included those and made the album a good 34 minutes long rather than an interminable 58 minutes long. But there are no interesting moments. This is just softer, more orchestral Radiohead, and Radiohead sucks. Sorry, I have to stop writing because this album is playing in the background and I have gotten very sleepy. . . zzzzzzz.
2
Mar 14 2024
Antichrist Superstar
Marilyn Manson
For someone who played Paul on āThe Wonder Yearsā and had a rib removed to be able to suck his own dick, this guy sure seems cranky. Youād think between hanging out with Fred Savage and all the autofellation, heād be in a better mood and write happier songs.
1
Mar 15 2024
There's No Place Like America Today
Curtis Mayfield
I like Curtis Mayfield a lot but had never listened to this album and Iām really glad I did. His sound is so incredible and fits his voice so well. I really enjoyed this album.
3
Mar 18 2024
At Mister Kelly's
Sarah Vaughan
Out of 48 studio albums and ten live albums, Iām not sure how this was the Sarah Vaughan album chosen for this book. Itās fine, but I donāt believe this album captures her at her best. Sarah Vaughan was incredibly talented and deserves inclusion, but if it were up to me, Iād have gone with a different album.
3
Mar 19 2024
Morrison Hotel
The Doors
You know what, I am going to say something nice about this Doors album. Many of the songs are less than three minutes long. So, as a listener your suffering is pretty minimal. Good job you overrated pretentious mediocre hacks. At least this collection of awful songs you foisted upon the world has several awful songs that are pretty short. Good job.
2
Mar 20 2024
Coles Corner
Richard Hawley
I had no idea what to expect from this album and was very pleasantly surprised. It is obviously explicitly referencing a variety of influences, but never sounds like a nostalgia act. āBorn Under a Bad Signā reminded me a lot of āMaple Leavesā-era Jens Lekman, which I love. I am really glad to have heard this for the first time.
3
Mar 21 2024
Risque
CHIC
I guess I had only heard the radio edit of āGood Timesā before but I enjoyed the album version more than I do the song Iāve heard in grocery stores and dentist offices a million times. The lyrics are still utterly moronic and the hook is repetitive, but the extended instrumental section almost redeems the song. That is about the only good thing I have to say about this album.
I know the whole āDisco Sucksā movement was grounded in racism and homophobia from middle-aged white construction workers who throw batteries at Santa Claus that thought everyone should just be happy to listen to Bachman Turner Overdrive for the rest of time, but disco sucks. Disco music is music made for people to dance to. Is āThe Electric Slideā or āThe Cupid Shuffleā on this list because of their importance in giving boring people something to do at weddings? This music does not need to be heard unless you are wearing bell bottoms, being felt up by Andy Warhol and doing the hustle.
Every review of this album talks about how people have sampled the beats to make other songs. Okay. That just means these are bad songs with some good beats in them. Letās listen to those better songs that reuse these beats instead of these songs that are really only good for disco dancing and the few ballads they threw in for when the coke wore off I guess.
Most of this is pretty lame, and even worse, itās lame and way too long. If youāre going to be cheesy, at least get it over with quickly. On the plus side, the overall album length isnāt too bad, even if the songs are way too long.
In conclusion, disco sucks. *throws battery at Santa Claus*
2
Mar 22 2024
Oar
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
Sometimes your lone voice crying out in the wilderness is right while all the rest of the world is wrong. And sometimes youāre David Rubinson. According to Wikipedia, the record label said āthese are just demos, weāre not releasing themā and the artist himself said, āthose are just demos, donāt put those outā but David Rubinson insisted that they be released and now here I am almost 50 years later having to listen to this garbage.
Music reviewers sometimes hear a really cool (probably untrue, because artists are liars) story about the making of a record and then tell people they have to listen to the record because it gives the reviewer an excuse to tell the cool story. Yes, yes, fire axes and mental institutions and a motorcycle, itās all very compelling. But just tell me the story and donāt make me listen to this unfinished, rambling dreck.
There is nothing about this album that warrants listening to it. This is out of tune talk-singing over semi-formed quasi-songs for 45 minutes or so. This album is without any merit whatsoever.
2
Mar 25 2024
Physical Graffiti
Led Zeppelin
I like Led Zeppelin as a band (not as people, what with their blatant musical thievery and statutory rape, but if that were a deal breaker Iād have to discount 75% of this list) but I think this album has the same problem that so many other double albums do, it is bloated and over filled with just okay music instead of being cut down to just the strongest material.
If they cut three sides worth of music, then instead of filling side four with stuff not good enough for their earlier albums, they should have saved a sideās worth of tracks for their next album. There are a lot of great songs on this album, but also some real duds.
3
Mar 26 2024
Dummy
Portishead
Man I love this album. I bought this on CD in 1994 and have loved it ever since. I am giving this a five star rating knowing full well that I gave The White Album and Pet Sounds four stars and I don't care in the slightest. I am ranking these albums based on my personal feelings about them, not on some imaginary ultimate scale of quality that I am somehow able to tap into because I am so uniquely discerning.
This is one of my favorite albums and I love it. It is hard to even pick a favorite song off this album because there are no tracks that I don't think are great. Five stars.
5
Mar 27 2024
Urban Hymns
The Verve
Hey Robert Dimery, which kinda mediocre, completely unexceptional, generic brit pop album should we include on the list of 1001 albums you must here before you die?
Robert Dimery: YES!!!!
76 minutes of shoegaze-lite monotony. Ugh. These songs are too long and too boring and the lead singer sounds like the guy from Coldplay. This album isn't bad, but it sure as hell isn't good.
3
Mar 28 2024
Buenas Noches From A Lonely Room
Dwight Yoakam
I prefer Hillbilly Deluxe and think it is a stronger album but I really like late-80ās Dwight Yoakam and am glad he is on this list. He may have harkened back to the sound of an earlier time but he sounded like nothing else that was coming out at that time and I have always enjoyed his early albums.
3
Mar 29 2024
69 Love Songs
The Magnetic Fields
All of your reviews saying that youāre not going to bother to listen to an album this long sound like Philistines whining about about how the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is too big. I got so mad reading your half-literate tossed off dismissals of an album that is foundational to the vast majority of indie music made in the last 25 years and I started to say that anyone who doesnāt bother to listen to this masterpiece and recognize its greatness should just quit this project now. I was big mad for a minute there.
But then an intense feeling of peace came over me. I realized I donāt have to tell you to quit this project. You will do that on your own. You donāt have the passion to finish doing something like this, or to finish anything really. You will continue to live in your sad boring apartment by yourself, or with a series of partners who you donāt care that much for and who donāt care much for you, for the next few decades, playing video games and looking at the internet, and then you will die and the world will move on without much of a fuss. You will have never had the courage to love or be loved, you will never have felt deeply enough to affect the world or anyone in it. You will be utterly forgotten before your body is cold. You are not worthy of being upset with because you donāt really exist.
I wish I could give this album a million stars. Yes, itās a giant sprawling mess that veers from sublime and too perfect for this world to absurd and maudlin and unbearable. Because thatās love. But you wouldnāt know anything about that.
5
Apr 01 2024
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Here are some fun facts. In 1982, David Crosby crashed his car into a fence after having a cocaine seizure. Responding police found his coke and a loaded .45. When they asked Crosby why he felt the need to travel with a loaded weapon, he supposedly replied, "John Lennon." At one point, Stephen Stills started to believe he had been on missions with the US Marines in Vietnam and began wearing fatigues on stage during concerts and signing autographs āStephen Stills, US Marine Corpsā. In 2016, Graham Nash, who was in his 70's at the time, divorced his wife of 38 years to marry a 40-year old. His adult children stopped talking to him, which he said was probably for the best.
These were three talented individuals and this is a pretty decent album and Deja Vu is even better. It is a shame that after making some pretty decent albums these guys spent the next 50 years ruining their lives and the lives of the people around them.
Don't do drugs kids.
3
Apr 02 2024
Boston
Boston
Idk, man. If you donāt like this album, I think you are going to have to start asking yourself some really hard questions about who you are as a person. Do you like to rock? Do you like to party? Do you like Camaros? Do you like crushing cold beers? Do you like smoking Marlboro Reds? Do you even own a sleeveless T-shirt and jean shorts? Do you like making out with hot chicks? Do you like riding around in a Camaro on a hot summer night dressed in jean shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, blasting rock music, drinking a cold beer and smoking a Marlboro Red on your way to make out with a hot chick, AKA partying? Because if you do, then you know this album fucking rocks.
Also, those are upside down guitars with blue flames coming off the strings on the cover, not cities attached to UFOs escaping a dying world, or whatever your nerd ass thought they were. The blue flames are coming off the strings because of how hard the band is rocking. Just, FYI.
4
Apr 03 2024
Parklife
Blur
After so much mediocre Britpop, itās nice to get to listen to arguably the best album of the genre. I like the mix of pop songs with weird experiments. A great album.
3
Apr 04 2024
Connected
Stereo MC's
*British people hear a type of music* https://giphy.com/gifs/hero0fwar-tim-and-eric-5wWf7GMbT1ZUGTDdTqM The blues, R&B, reggae, sure, but rap?! The audacity of these people. You almost have to admire it.
And the worst thing is that this album is pretty good. A bit insignificant for inclusion on a list like this, but I figure the author wanted to be sure every single British person who was alive in the 90ās was on here somewhere. But when the guy starts rapping it is almost as ridiculous as that album cover.
Is that the top of a set of headphones or some type of cerebro-like mind power amplifying helmet? āOi bruv, we gotta snake and the earth and mushrooms and a volcano but itās missing summit, innit?ā āHow about a lightning bolt?ā āBrilliant mate!ā
This album wasnāt bad. I knew the single and liked it alright and the rest of the album is pretty similar to it. Kinda silly but not bad. Better than a lot of other stuff on this list but not essential in my opinion. Still, there are worse ways to spend an hour.
3
Apr 05 2024
Hot Fuss
The Killers
Good lord, this album will be twenty years old in two months and I still think of it as new music. Time makes fools of us all.
I am not prepared to weigh in on whether this was the last great rock record or just Imagine Dragons 1.0. This albums is ambitious and incredibly well-produced and has hooks for days. It also doesnāt hurt that it came out at a time when I was ready to fall in love with an album like this. Listening to it now, twenty years later, it still sounds great to me.
4
Apr 08 2024
The Chronic
Dr. Dre
I think what was so incredible about this album was the world-building. Like the little girl from āPanās Labyrinthā, Dre and the other originators of the gangsta rap genre grew up in unpleasant circumstances and chose to escape those circumstances by building a fantasy world where all the men were tough gangstas and all the women were sexual objects. It wasnāt an original world, but borrowed from Blaxploitation films and funk music, just like Tolkien borrowed from various mythological traditions when he created middle earth.
In the 90ās, white suburbanites pretended to be gangstas the way kids from the 50ās pretended to be cowboys or film noir detectives. And those tropes were not that different. The characters lived in worlds of violence and frequent gunplay, they survived based on their toughness and street smarts, and their worlds were populated by over-sexualized stock female characters. Fantasies like these appeal to adolescent boys, for better or for worse, probably for worse.
I donāt think that the inventors of the gangsta rap fantasy world can be criticized any more than the inventors of other fantasies that captured the imagination of young men looking for a pretend world to inhabit. Plus this iteration of that teen-boy-friendly world-building had style and flair and sounded incredible.
Dr. Dre is nothing if not an expert in identifying and incorporating talent. Ice Cube was a better lyricist, Eazy and then Snoop had more charisma, and his later protege (or young white avatar, according to Atlanta) Eminem was a vastly better rapper, but Dre recognized talent and gave talented artists greater exposure. He also used samples from great music and did so in a way that made them sound fresh to young ears. There is no denying that this album sounds amazing, even if most of the credit for that belongs to George Clinton, Isaac Hayes, James Brown and Donny Hathaway.
I canāt defend the lyrical content of this album but I think it is reductive not to appreciate its strengths.
4
Apr 09 2024
Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
OutKast
I get that it has "Hey Ya" on it, but a single does not an album make. This is the worst Outkast album other than Idlewild. But the worst Outkast album is better than most other groups' best albums. Speakerboxxx is a better than average straight ahead rap album. The Love Below is a bit of a mess. You can never go wrong listening to Outkast but this album is as close to being wrong as listening to Outkast gets.
I would be remiss not to mention that āTomb of Boomā has two of my all time favorite rap lyrics: āI prefer my liquor dark and a mean white slut.ā I hear ya, Supa Nate. Also, āY'all driving Subarus, stuck in your cubicles; I'm stuck in the air with weed crumbs under my cuticles.ā Oh Luda, I donāt care how many cheesy action and Christmas movies you do, you will always be cool to me.
3
Apr 10 2024
White Ladder
David Gray
Bland. Boring. Soulless. John Mayer without the edge. Itās bad enough that I had to have āBabylonā played at me constantly for six months in a row in 2001, but now I had to listen to it twice on this Nilla Wafer of an album. Boo.
2
Apr 11 2024
Bossanova
Pixies
Surfer Rosa and Doolittle are great albums. Bossanova is a good album. Come on Pilgrim and Trompe le Monde are okay. I donāt acknowledge the existence of anything else by this band.
I love the Pixies but donāt think this is them at their best. There are still some great songs on here, but nothing that approaches the best songs on their first two albums. And the just-okay songs on Bossanova are way worse than the less good songs on Surfer Rose and Doolittle. Is Bossanova worth listening to? Yes. Is it a top tier Pixies album? For me, no.
P.S. My catās favorite thing in the world is to roll around in my closet under shirts where she can bat at them and be partially hidden and rub against things while I pet her. When we are doing that I like to sing āStormy Weatherā to her, but I change the words to āIt is time . . . it is time (whoah, oh) . . . it is time, for closet cuddles.ā
3
Apr 12 2024
Miriam Makeba
Miriam Makeba
Being exposed to albums and artists like this is why Iām doing this project. I had never heard of Miriam Makeba before but I am so glad that I have now. This is a really fun album and āPata Pataā is an incredible song that I found after listening to this album and reading the artistās Wikipedia page.
3
Apr 15 2024
Meat Is Murder
The Smiths
Good album by a great band. As with all Smiths albums, Morrissey is insanely clever and Marr is angularly jamming away in the manner that only he can. And āBarbarism Begins at Homeā is a fantastic showcase for Andy Rourkeās mind-blowing bass skills.
For all of you who canāt hear The Smiths mentioned without harping on the fact that Morrissey is a piece of shit, boy do I have bad news for you about every single pop star and any member of any band ever. Yes, Morrissey is garbage, but so is pretty much everyone else on this list. Iām not sure if itās a consequence of having too much money, or the psychological effect of fame and adulation, or maybe just human nature, but basically everyone who becomes even moderately successful making music sucks. Morrissey included, but not exclusively, and not to any significant degree beyond the norm.
So please, if you donāt have the requisite intelligence and savior faire to appreciate The Smiths, just admit that you arenāt that great at listening to music and having taste and stop trying to pin it on Morrissey being a monster. Theyāre all monsters. Always have been.
3
Apr 16 2024
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Arctic Monkeys
I love it when future soft boys make an album when theyāre really young and havenāt embraced their softness yet. Future soft boys make albums that are energetic and fun and loud and fast and lusty because the band is the hardest theyāll ever be because theyāre 19 or whatever, but the albums are also melodic and poppy and catchy because the band are soft boys at heart. An album like that really hits the sweet spot for me and this is a perfect example of one.
I donāt know what the fuck the Arctic Monkeys have been doing for the last decade or so, lounge singers on Mars or some shit, but their first two albums were great and very deserving of being on this list. And to all you future soft boys who know you are soft at heart but are super angry and cynical and wild right now and for the next year and a half or so, pick up electric guitars for Godās sake! We need more albums like this.
3
Apr 17 2024
Maverick A Strike
Finley Quaye
Oi bruv, dis reggae music is brilliant innit?! Do we know any Jamaican geezers that can make some for us? Finley Quaye? Isnāt he Ghanaian or summit? Ah, toss it. Sign āim to a record deal and put the kettle on!
It is so stupid that this album is on this list that it makes it feel like doing this project is a waste of time and energy. I get it that "Sunday Shining" was big in the UK in 1997 but "Banditos" by The Refreshments was big in the US in 1996 and I in no way shape or form expect Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy to be on this list. For God's sake, there are no Toots and the Maytals albums on this list. A real reggae artist who made actual ground-breaking and influential albums that really do deserve to be heard. Instead we get this weird bland reggae imposter. This is insanity.
Ultimately, this album is not bad. It is a completely nothing melding of reggae and trip hop that managed to strike a chord with a small group of people almost thirty years ago. That is fine. I am glad that Mr. Quaye had his moment in the sun. Or in the cold drizzle I suppose, since he was only big in the UK. There is nothing particularly offensive about this album, except for maybe the lyric "cause I'm a hero like Robert De Niro" and the fact that it is a Scottish person of Ghanaian descent doing a Jamaican accent. But why in the name of all that is holy would anyone need to hear this album before they die?! The answer is, they don't. Terrible pick.
2
Apr 18 2024
Jagged Little Pill
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette was to grunge what The Partridge Family was to hippies. She was a cheesy pop singer glomming onto the youth counterculture of the moment and helping to commercialize it. And it worked. She sold a billion records and played a not insignificant part in taking grunge from Nirvana to Nickelback. You donāt do that without making some decent songs and there are obviously some decent songs on this album. But nostalgia and a few okay songs should not cause this to be seen as anything other than what it was: a pop singer aping the style of a genre that was in vogue at the time but that she had no connection to whatsoever in order to sell records.
Oh, and my friend Gabe thought it was āthe cross-eyed bear that you gave to meā. lol.
3
Apr 19 2024
Nebraska
Bruce Springsteen
Driving through the parts of our country where itās flat and empty and feels washed out somehow, with nothing but abandoned towns that used to be vibrant communities breaking up the landscape, feels like listening to this record. This is an album about the forgotten places. The places that have been dying a slow death for 100 years and the people who still choose to live in them for whatever reason. This album is about hopelessness and the beauty that can be barely felt on the edges of stark, ugly despair.
4
Apr 22 2024
...And Justice For All
Metallica
I just donāt understand why I hate this so much and so many others love it. Maybe you either have to be a dumb adult or a middle-schooler (and so automatically dumb) so that your affection for it carries over to when you are a non-dumb adult. Or maybe itās like cilantro and you are either born with the gene that makes this sound good to you and if you donāt have that gene then it tastes like soap. I donāt know what makes me hate this, but boy do I. Itās dumb and loud and angry and just the worst. I donāt care if itās thrash or prog metal or heavy metal or hard rock cause all that shit sounds the same to me anyway. Hairy assholes making unpleasant sounding music for dumb people to hit each other or further sustain brain damage to. There is nothing redeeming about this to me whatsoever. Just ugly noise that makes my day worse.
1
Apr 23 2024
xx
The xx
Another perfectly acceptable xx album that is totally fine and also too bland to get even the slightest bit excited about. I just donāt see what about these milquetoast records is supposed to be so vital you have to hear it before you die. They are in no way shape or form bad, they are pleasant enough, but I canāt hear anything in them that takes them beyond generic inoffensive indie pop.
3
Apr 24 2024
Music
Madonna
Like an Oscar going to an actor who was just okay in a role but everyone now agrees was really good in something a few years ago, music critics love nothing better than pretending a late period album by a once great artist is something other than garbage. Sorry critics, Iām not falling for it. Madonna was a force of nature from ā83 to ā89 but this sucks.
2
Apr 25 2024
Sister
Sonic Youth
https://youtu.be/bWQYwqHWiyQ?si=QsbYaZO-z236ViU5
I hate to contradict Juno, but Sonic Youth is pretty cool and this is a pretty good album. I donāt like noise rock but Sonic Youth has always kept their noise poppy enough for my tastes. I wouldnāt want to listen to this all the time but Iād take a kinda noisy rock and roll record over another bland snoozefest most of the time.
3
Apr 26 2024
3 + 3
The Isley Brothers
This is alright. At times a little too disco-y, at times a little too quiet stormy, at times a little too 70ās soft rocky, but overall not bad. The band sounds great but I wish they had stronger material to work with. Still not a bad album.
3
Apr 29 2024
Gunfighter Ballads And Trail Songs
Marty Robbins
This album is like those Menās Adventure magazines (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men%27s_adventure), but with someone singing you the stupid cliched stories with generic Western music playing in the background instead of you reading them. Despite that, sometimes the dumbest things in the world can catch lightning in a bottle. This album should have been one of a million other bits of late 50ās early 60ās pop culture detritus that was forgotten almost as soon as it got home from the record store. But something about this album really works. Maybe the generic Western music is played perfectly, maybe itās the singing. Who knows. Life is funny sometimes cowboy. š¤
3
Apr 30 2024
Black Sabbath
Black Sabbath
This is fine I guess. Kinda Zeppliny, kinda Creamy, but mostly this just strikes me as silly. Adolescent boys playing their instruments loudly and trying to be scary and dark. I like rocking out as much as the next guy, but do you have to be so edgelordy about it? Once your band goes spooky I just feel silly listening to you. Itās not Halloween. Ghosts and wizards and devils and witches arenāt real. Theyāre just something children are scared of. Or very dumb people.
I think that is ultimately my problem with heavy metal and thrash metal and black metal and all the rest of it. It all just seems like music for dumb people. More so than mindless pop, more so than bro country, more than any other genre I can think of. Just music for pimply, pretentious, angry, emotionally stunted dumb people. Boo! š»
2
May 01 2024
Wonderful Rainbow
Lightning Bolt
Lot of reviews saying, āwow you can kind of hear some elements of songs in hereā and I agree. āCrown of Stormsā is playing now and it sounds like the band knows what songs are and are kind of making a song-esque thing out of static and noise. But what Iām wondering is, why are we grading this band on a curve? Is this band some kind of human interest story about two people with a mental disability that prevents them from understanding what sounds good? Is it a triumph of the human spirit that these two goofy bastards (https://youtu.be/OkzaOwAmDmA?si=5i18tm3SvrobZWkF) made ten āsongsā that almost sound like music? Is GMA going to do a feel good story about how the members of this band bravely overcame adversity to make something so close to real music? Because if not, Iām wondering why - if these guys know what music is - why they donāt just make that and not this?
1
May 02 2024
Teenage Head
Flamin' Groovies
Nothing wrong with doing old music as long as you bring something new to the table which this album doesnāt do. This is just āhere is a cool blues riffā and āhere is a neat rockabilly songā for thirty minutes. The title track gets close to something new, but other than that, itās basically a cover record. Iām glad that you discovered a bunch of cool old songs that you like, but if thatās all you have to say then just make a mix tape.
2
May 03 2024
Iām a Lonesome Fugitive
Merle Haggard
Five wives, six children, 66 studio albums, born in a boxcar, multiple escapes from prison, a plethora of convictions for crimes he both did and didnāt commit that were ultimately pardoned by Ronald Reagan, and lived to be 79 years old. Merle Haggardās life sounds too crazy to be true.
Merle Haggard recorded dozens of amazing songs during his career but sitting down for an entire album of his is rarely something I want to do. This one is no exception. I canāt deny his talent or that he touches greatness at times, but he was a working musician who was putting out songs like a factory puts out widgets. Creating art wasnāt really his goal and so itās no surprise that he only did so rarely.
His albums are the sound of a talented craftsman making solid music, and so worth hearing, but out of his decades-long music career you can listen to the times he really made something that surpassed that in a couple of hours.
2
May 06 2024
British Steel
Judas Priest
You can really hear the super-lame hair metal like Poison or Motley Crue lurking just around the corner from this super-lame whatever-the-fuck-kind-of-shitty-metal-this-is.
I know some idiots think they are discerning music fans who just hate, for example, country music, but really they are just prejudiced and havenāt heard good country music and hopefully a list like this could broaden their horizons and educate them a bit. But the thing about metal is that there is no good metal. It is all shit.
There are no metal albums that anyone needs to hear because the genre as a whole is completely without value unless you are a 15 year old boy or a moron. I am neither of those, so I have no interest in ever hearing any metal albums of whatever type. They are all absolute garbage.
1
May 07 2024
London Calling
The Clash
Couldnāt have this list without this album on it, no question. This is one of those albums that has never been important to me - despite knowing a lot of the songs, I donāt recall ever sitting down and listening to the whole thing - but that I get why it is an important album.
This is the best kind of punk rock album. One that takes a bunch of genres that donāt suck and mixes them in with the punk rock so the music isnāt terrible punk rock anymore. I love the horns and the reggae influence. This album is so good that it isnāt really a punk rock album any more. And thatās the highest praise one can give to punk rock.
4
May 08 2024
Music From The Penguin Cafe
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
Albums like this are why Iām doing this project. I had never heard, or heard of, this album before doing this, but I am really glad Iāve now been exposed to it. You can obviously hear Enoās influence on it, but I also hear some Tubular Bells-type sections, which is always nice. This is just avant garde enough to make you feel like you are cool but poppy enough to be listenable. Good stuff.
3
May 09 2024
Time Out
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
Iāve been listening to this album for years and had no idea that it is called āTime Outā because the songs are all in odd time signatures. Iām not even totally sure I know what a time signature is. Like the beat of the song? All I know is that this album sounds great and blows me away no matter how many times I Iāve heard it. Easy, no brainer five star album.
5
May 10 2024
The Rise & Fall
Madness
Hey Madness, you are a ska band. People like your ska music. Why are you making whatever this is? "Our House" is a great song, but it feels like they just put it on the album to trick people into listening to all this other garbage. This is not a good album.
2
May 13 2024
At San Quentin
Johnny Cash
That image from this concert of Cash flipping off the camera (https://www.nme.com/news/music/johnny-cash-19-1292708) is so appropriate for who he was. Flipping off a photographer who you are paying to take pictures of your concert because you're pretending you are doing it to an authority figure perfectly sums up Johnny Cash.
Everything about him was a put-on, which could likely be said about all artists, but the crudeness of the act is particularly galling about Cash. Itās like pretentious music nerds are given a choice of two artists who are deep-voiced and vastly over-hyped to stan and they have to choose between Johnny Cash or Tom Waits.
Iām not saying he wasnāt good. Iām definitely not saying he didnāt surround himself with talented artists, especially The Carter Family. But the distance between the quality of his output and the esteem in which heās held is absurd.
This album is fine. I canāt think of another live album where the setting of the performance is such an integral part of the album itself other than his other live prison albums. There are some good songs on here, this album is important and everyone should hear it. But I just find Johnny Cash annoying.
2
May 14 2024
Illmatic
Nas
This sounds really dated. The beats are original at times but the lyrics are the exact same shit as every other rap song from this time period. How do you have an entire of genre of music that just says the exact same thing over and over again? āI deal drugs and have lots of sex and am rich and commit frequent acts of violenceā said in slightly different ways over ten million different albums. Pass.
2
May 15 2024
Every Picture Tells A Story
Rod Stewart
Rod Stewart gets a bad rap because of going disco and then going Sinatra, but he was putting out some solid records around this time, both as a solo artist and with The Faces, and this was his masterpiece. There is hardly a bad song on the record and āMaggie Mayā deserves its place as one of the greatest classic rock songs of all time.
I love how raucous and loose the playing sounds, especially on āThatās All Right.ā This album feels like a bar band having a good time. And Rod Stewart as a vocalist is hard to beat. Thank God there was a time when he put his talents to good use by singing decent material.
4
May 16 2024
New Forms
Roni Size
The version of this album that comes up on Amazon Music is the 20th Anniversary Edition and itās 53 songs and five hours and 14 minutes long. And so I thought to myself, āwow it must have taken them forever to make that much musicā but then on listening to it, I realized they could have knocked this out in an afternoon.
āUncha uncha uncha unchaā. Track one done. āBloop bloop uncha uncha bloop bloopā. Thereās track two. Have we got someone who has no understanding of what rapping is supposed to sound like to ārapā? Great, add that to track two and the sound of a dial-up internet connection and thereās track three. Rinse and repeat until youāve got a super long and super shitty album.
Iām embarrassed this album (1) made this list, (2) won a mercury prize, (3) is remembered by anyone almost thirty years later, (3) is something to which I have now listened, (4) exists. There is no more value to this collection of drum machine beats and electronic noises than there is to ones generated at random.
The worst part was thinking, āman, that has got to be the 50th time they repeated that bitā and then seeing that Iām only three something minutes into a six something-minute-long song. And I can look and see how long the song has been playing and how long it has left because Iām listening to this shit in my car on my way to work, and not in a warehouse at 3am in late-90ās London while high on ecstasy, which I imagine is the only time this music would sound good.
The fact that whether music sounds good to you is so dependent on context - including place and time and activity youāre engaging in and substances youāve consumed - really makes me feel like doing this project of listening to the albums on this list is pointless. Or maybe itās just that listening to this album makes me feel life itself is pointless.
1
May 17 2024
Haunted Dancehall
The Sabres Of Paradise
If you are reading the one-star reviews that say that this album is just the sound of pots and pans being banged together and has no actual songs on it, please note that those reviews should come with a disclaimer reading, "I listened to the first 30 seconds of the first song and said 'hey this isn't like everything else I listen to! It hurts my wittle ears" and turned it off. Please disregard my opinion."
The first couple of songs are a little discordant but then it really picks up. I liked this album despite it not being my normal cup of tea. "Theme" sounds like a blaxploitation film soundtrack done by the Chemical Brothers.
I should not be surprised that I enjoyed this since one of the guys from Portishead contributed to it and I love that group. This is a pretty solid album for me, although it admittedly has its flaws.
3
May 20 2024
Hard Again
Muddy Waters
I completely understand when people say, "I am not into the blues". In some ways, listening to the blues is like reading the alphabet. You like novels and poems and everything else made using letters, but you don't want to just sit and look at the alphabet. But it goes without saying that you don't get novels and poems, etc. without the alphabet. But you are not just going to stare at your ABC's and think, "man, so great". Couple that with every asshole in the world hearing great blues albums like this and thinking they can do this and going out and making the absolute shittiest sound ever heard by human ears (https://youtu.be/BiSTW3NSp6o?si=fRkOCXxu0G1vlSC1), and you have a recipe for turning people off the genre completely.
But I think albums like this are the antidote to the belief that you aren't into the blues. This sounds so much more alive than most other music of any genre, not just blues albums. "Hard Again" crackles with electricity that positively jumps out and grabs you. This album makes you feel like you are in a Chicago club listening to a live performance by a band at the absolute top of its game.
Itās really hard to sound fresh and original when 75% of popular music has been biting your shit for 20 years, but Muddy Waters managed to do it on this album.
4
May 21 2024
This Year's Model
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
I donāt understand people who (1) donāt like Elvis Costello; and, to a lesser extent, (2) think this is Elvis Costelloās best album. Donāt get me wrong, this is a great album. But I think āMy Aim is Trueā is significantly better. Still, Elvis Costello was unstoppable during this Aim/Model/Armed period, which is up there with the best three albums runs in popular music. This is an amazing album and well-deserving of being on this list.
4
May 22 2024
Catch A Fire
Bob Marley & The Wailers
Itās funny how great albums made by artists at their peaks tend to have these quotidian origin stories. The Wailers were broke and stuck in the UK, so they took a $6,000 advance to get home and gave Island one of the greatest reggae albums of all time in return.
These artists, either together or on their own, would go on to make better albums, but this was an incredible record to introduce millions of people to this genre. Everything that makes reggae music great is present here.
4
May 23 2024
Getz/Gilberto
Stan Getz
Iāve got a theory. Northerners make fast, loud, oftentimes angry music because they are cold and need something to jump around to and get their temperature up. Southerners make quiet, soft, laid back music because they are fucking hot and just want to lounge in the shade and sip a cold drink and chill.
Northerners: metal, rock & roll, the more aggressive strains of hip hop, etc. Southerners: country, reggae, bossa nova, etc. Itās not a perfect theory, but I think Iām on to something, and this album is a solid piece of evidence. This music is as chilled out as music gets.
It is easy to hold the thousands of Muzak versions of āThe Girl From Ipanemaā against this record, but if you can try to hear this with fresh ears then it is really cool and really subtle and beautiful.
4
May 24 2024
Imagine
John Lennon
Grown up nerds hate John Lennon because they loved him when they were pretentious little nerdlets and now theyāre embarrassed and taking their anger at themselves over how cringy they were out on him. So any mention of John Lennon on the internet is accompanied by a never-ending stream of āwife-beaterā, āremember when Gal Gadot at the beginning of Covidā¦ā, and āa rich person saying āimagine no possessionsāā¦ā ad infinitum.
I will spare everyone yet another repetition of those old saws because I think they say nothing relevant about the quality of this album. But please donāt doubt that I am sufficiently mortified that I wore round gold-colored wire-framed glasses when I was 16. Also, I think this story from Yoko is better John Lennon rage-bait than all of those other ones anyway:
[Begin quote] In 1972 ,the night McGovern lost the election, John and I were invited to a party at Jerry Rubin's apartment in the Village. It was a gathering of New York liberal intellectuals, some artists, musicians and many journalists. John became totally drunk and pulled a woman into the next room and started to make love. Nobody could leave the party because all the coats were in that room. We were all sitting there trying to ignore what was happening. The wall was paper thin and you could hear the noise, which was incredibly loud. A considerate musician put a Dylan record on to offset the sound. But that did not drown out the sound coming from "the room." In the middle of all this, a New York celeb woman chose to make conversation with me. "I don't know how you feel about him... but we love him. He and his friends... what they did... but especially John... we all respect him tremendously. He's a great man... he is a wonderful man..." [end quote].
LOL. What an asshole. Anyway, this album is just okay. You could likely have not heard it before you died and been fine. āOh Yoko!ā is pretty good and makes for a great needle drop in āRushmoreā.
In conclusion, this album is fine, John Lennon is no more a monster than every other rock star, and you need to forgive yourself for being a pretentious nerd when you were a kid.
3
May 27 2024
Blonde On Blonde
Bob Dylan
There are lots of different Bob Dylans, and I think this album is the best album by this version of Bob Dylan. But this Bob Dylan is not my favorite Bob Dylan and this album is not my favorite of his albums. It has some amazing songs on it and I like how loose and freewheeling the Nashville session musicians sound but if Iām going to put on a Dylan album it probably isnāt going to be this one. Still unquestionably a great record though.
4
May 28 2024
Music From Big Pink
The Band
āThe Basement Tapesā is one of my favorite albums of all time. It is my favorite Dylan album by far. So, I should love this album. And I do like it. But I feel like Robert Christgau, who said he admired this album from a distance.
Iāve listened to enough shitty psychedelic drivel through this project that I can imagine what a breath of fresh air this was when it came out in ā68. But I think that outside of that context, this album is just decent folksy Americana roots rock. It gets extra points for having essentially invented folksy Americana roots rock, but you know, what have you done for me lately?
4
May 29 2024
Thriller
Michael Jackson
I think one of the worst things about the world is that abuse perpetuates itself. Michael Jackson was abused as a child and then he grew up to abuse children. Sometimes I think that the best thing we as humans can hope to do is to be a dam in the giant river of shit running downhill and refuse to visit the cruelty we experienced onto other people when we have the power to do so. There are probably better things to aspire to than "I won't abuse vulnerable people the way I was abused when I was vulnerable" but if you manage to do that then you are pretty okay in my book. According to an overwhelming body of evidence, Michael Jackson did not manage to do that. However, I am rating this album as a work of art and not Michael Jackson as a person.
The problem with trying to rate this album as a work of art is that itās the best-selling album of all time. Iāve heard āBeat Itā and "Billie Jean" and
"Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" and "Human Nature" and "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" and "Thriller" somewhere approaching an infinite number of times and so itās impossible to hear them with fresh ears. Not only that, but every song Iāve heard since this album came out was recorded by someone who has heard most of these songs approaching an infinite number of times. So every song Iāve heard that has come out in the last 42 years has been influenced to some degree by these songs. How do you rank an album like that?
In terms of sales, influence, probably innovativeness at the time it was released, āThrillerā unquestionably deserves full marks. But there is never a time when I am flipping through my record collection and see āThrillerā and think, āoh cool, Iāll put this on.ā So because my rankings are based on my subjective enjoyment of an album and not some attempted universal scale of quality, I will give this four stars. To the extent I can hear this album, I think that I like it. But I canāt really hear it, so it is just a guess.
This is neither here nor there but I think the fact that this broken, demented pedophile is either the greatest selling artist of all time, or one of the top two or three (along with Elvis and Drake, both of whom could also be described with those same words), speaks to how sad and weird humanity is. God help us.
4
May 30 2024
Rapture
Anita Baker
This isnāt music for musicās sake. This is just 33 minutes and 37 seconds of vaguely pleasant background noise for old people to fuck to. I feel like Robert Dimery just walked up to me and handed me a condom and lube and a scented candle and I said, āNo thank you Robert Dimery. I do not need these items at this time as I am not about to engage in the physical act of love, rather, I am driving to Lowes to buy a shower armā and Robert Dimery said, āThatās okay. Just hold this condom and lube and scented candle and - you know - appreciate their beauty as objectsā and I said, āNo, thatās weird. I donāt want to do thatā, but here I am anyway, sitting in the Lowes parking lot listening to an aural geriatric erotic aid.
2
May 31 2024
Eternally Yours
The Saints
This reminded me more of early rock & roll than punk rock. As always, the highest compliment you can pay to punk rock music is that it sounds like something else. This punk rock sounds like something else, so itās not too bad.
3
Jun 03 2024
To Pimp A Butterfly
Kendrick Lamar
This is twice now that I have given this album a shot. The first time was in 2015 when everyone was saying how great it was. I couldnāt do it then and didnāt do any better this time. I love old school funk and typically am up for an artist trying to be experimental, so it seems like this would be right up my alley, but it just doesnāt work for me.
While the lyrics, thankfully, seem to try to say more than hip hopās usual themes of āI have money and deal drugs and am good at sex and prone to acts of violenceā, they didnāt do so in a nuanced or intelligent way. The only thing worse than stupid people are stupid people who think theyāre smart. āOoh the homeless person was really God š± So deep!ā
Donāt get me wrong, every genreās lyrics are stupid on the whole but have the rare exception with intelligent lyrics. But grading hip hop on a curve and acting like a rapper is a āstreet poetā because his lyrics arenāt quite as dumb as āshe blow my dick like a celloā strikes me as racist pandering.
In addition to the lyrical content being r/Iām14andthisisdeep-worthy, Lamarās whiny voice is insufferable. The song where he calls everything āboo booā twenty times is like nails on a chalkboard to me. A combination of a grating voice and too much experimentation and dissonance just doesnāt work for me. See Radiohead.
I appreciate the fact that this album tries to be different, but it falls flat for me.
2
Jun 04 2024
Figure 8
Elliott Smith
Man, what a tragedy. Elliot Smith could have killed himself BEFORE he made all this shitty music.
3
Jun 05 2024
Wild Wood
Paul Weller
Dear Mr. Dimery,
I wanted to tell you about something with which you appear unfamiliar: https://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/countries_of_the_world.htm. Now, I know what youāre thinking, āhey wait, I know one of those!ā And I wholeheartedly agree and concede that you are clearly very aware of the United Kingdom and its constituent ⦠states? provinces? kingdoms? Also a few of its colonies that have regrettably and temporarily distanced themselves from their rightful owner. I do not dispute that. But what I wanted to point out is that there are at least 175 other names on that list with which you appear to be wholly ignorant. Maybe, instead of putting EVERY SINGLE 2.2-star and above album that was released between 1980 and 2010 from one of those countries on your list, you could put a 5-star album from each of those other countries? Just a thought.
This book really needs to be done by a committee of individuals of different ages, races, sexes and nationalities. People are too affected by music they were exposed to from ages 16 to 26 to be unbiased when choosing albums everyone should hear. Or at least this dumbass was. What the fuck would make someone consider this an album everyone needs to hear before they die? I mean, itās fine. If it were playing quietly in a Starbucks, it would be completely apropos. But to think people NEED to hear it? Good God. I donāt even know how to relate to a mind that would think that way. Itās too alien a concept for me to be able to even imagine holding.
Anyway, Robert Dimery, you are a real honest to God dyed in the wool dumbfuck and this album is perfectly fine. Itās like if Jack Johnson came out 15 years earlier and was slightly less poppy and more British. Nothing bad about this album at all. Completely inoffensive. And I could have lived a thousand years without hearing it and been perfectly fine.
2
Jun 06 2024
Dust
Screaming Trees
Maybe you are walking around a ghost town that used to be your city because everyone moved away because your band sucks so bad. Like, the entire population of a major metropolitan area thought, āEhhh, Iāve got a good job here, and friends, and I bought my house right at the beginning of the pandemic, so Iāve got a great interest rate that I will never be able to get again until there is some kind of major economic downturn, and my kids are right in the middle of the school year and so it would be really hard on them to move right now, but fuck it, I canāt live in the same city as Screaming Trees with their rustic hard rock, equally informed by heavy metal and folk. I mean, I donāt go to their concerts or interact with them or their music in any way, but just knowing that I live in the same city as they do is intolerable to me on a visceral level so Iām going to have to move away from here.ā And now during all these dying days you walk through the ghost town that used to be your city. I mean, maybe you enjoy walking, and it is good for you, but you could use other means of transportation. I assume that all the city busses were abandoned, heavy machinery, ATVās and dirt bikes and what not. You could just hop on any of them and drive around the ghost town that used to be your city. I bet that would be fun. Plus thereās no traffic! Because itās a ghost town. Because everyone moved away. Because of how bad you suck.
2
Jun 07 2024
The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan
There are too many Bob Dylan albums on this list, but Bob Dylan - without question - belongs on this list. Dylan had something about him that was pretty incredible that shines through even though this style of music is not my cup of tea. If you donāt want to engage with his music enough to hear the thing that so many people have found compelling for so many decades because he doesnāt make your style of music, thatās fine, but itās also pretty lazy. Because itās there if you are willing to listen for it.
I am not crazy about folk-era Dylan but I can still hear that thing he had. I donāt really ever put this album on, but I think itās worth hearing.
3
Jun 10 2024
Wish You Were Here
Pink Floyd
I was firmly anti-prog rock for most of my life. I remember being bothered by Pavement mentioning Geddy Lee in āStereoā and wondering why musicians all seemed to like that stupid hair metal band. But after reading āReady Player Oneā I decided to give Rush a chance and they were my gateway drug into all things prog. And now I am a huge fan of the genre. Yes, ELP, Genesis, Jethro Tull, King Crimson. I have fully embraced prog and am happier for having done so. My wife and daughters having to be around me when I listen to it, not so much.
Is Pink Floyd the best prog rock band of all time? Can they even be properly labeled as prog? I think so, but if someone differed I would respect that opinion. But I think āWish You Were Hereā and āDark Side of the Moonā were two of the greatest prog rock albums ever made. If you are in the mood for this type of music, this would be one of your go-to albums to put on.
If a pop or rock song goes on over four minutes, I start to get antsy, but a 13 minute prog song never wears out its welcome. I kind of wish that they hadnāt split up āShine Onā and just left it as one song. I love it when a whole side of an album is just one song. But that is just a quibble. This album is proggy enough for the weirdos but poppy enough for the normies. It is a masterpiece.
4
Jun 11 2024
Bringing It All Back Home
Bob Dylan
I was assigned "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan" for my 165th album. This is my 167th album. "Blonde on Blonde" was my 156th. "Blood on the Tracks" was my 71st. "Time Out of Mind" was my 10th. Of those albums, I would cut "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan" and "Time Out of Mind" from this list.
This list has too many Bob Dylan albums. That being said, this is a good album and it belongs on this list. Dylan sounds like he is figuring things out; like who he wants to be and what kind of music he wants to make. He sounds like he was really coming into his own on this record. This is definitely worth hearing before you die.
3
Jun 12 2024
Kid A
Radiohead
*Enter a slender dark-haired man with a neat goatee, wearing a suit and carrying a box with a large red button on the top*
Him: "Good day, sir. I hear you consider yourself a bit of a 'music nerd'. Well, I have a proposition for you. If you hit this button, you will have to pay a dire price. Every music nerd's favorite band, Radiohead, will be erased from the very fabric of existence. Radiohead's music, with its diverse influences from electronic music, ambient music, krautrock, jazz and 20th-century classical music, will be gone! You will never again hear their songs featuring modular synthesisers, the ondes Martenot, brass and strings, processed guitar sounds, samples and loops, and impersonal and abstract lyrics sung by Thom Yorke. All music they ever created will be gone from the world and from everyone's memories. It will be as if Radiohead never existed, forever! Ha, ha ha. However, if you can live with this terrible cost, you will receive-"
Me: *hits button*
Him: ". . . dude, what the hell? You didn't even wait to hear what you would get?! Jesus, 'OK Computer' is gone now! That is like a top ten album for me. Why did you do that!? You were supposed to be eaten up by the terrible cost you would have to pay to receive my boon. That is messed up. A lot of very sad people really loved that band."
Me: ". . ."
Him: "I mean, I get being willing to pay the price, but you didn't even weigh it against the benefit. I was going to offer you something incredible, but think about what you just did. 'Kid A' is gone. Rolling Stone, Pitchfork and the Times ranked it the greatest album of the 2000s, and in 2020 Rolling Stone ranked it number 20 on its updated list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. 'Amneisiac', 'Hail to the Thief', 'In Rainbows', 'The King of Limbs', 'A Moon Shaped Pool', all gone! This is so-"
Me: *hits button again*
1
Jun 13 2024
Welcome To The Pleasuredome
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
So itās two hits, a bunch of electronic dance music and then some weird synth pop covers that make no sense? It seems as if Frankie Goes to Hollywood was more of a fad to sell T-shirts than an actual band. āTwo Tribesā is pretty decent but this album is a mess.
2
Jun 14 2024
Sunshine Superman
Donovan
Hippy dippy acoustic folk music can puff my magic dragon.
1
Jun 17 2024
Aqualung
Jethro Tull
My top ten favorite flautists:
1. Ron Burgundy https://youtu.be/_c_ufaxeSTs?si=vlPesSHEmdGrBo3N
2. This flutin ass mother fucker from Jethro Tull
3.-10. I couldnāt name another flautist if my life depended on it and am honestly proud I even knew the term āflautistā.
You canāt tell me that when that tootelly tootin starts going ātootelly toot toot toodely tootā that you arenāt feeling it! If youāre not down with āAqualungā and āThick as a Brickā you either take yourself too seriously, do not rock to an appropriate degree, or have some other major character flaw.
Medieval folk prog featuring prominent fluting should in no way shape or form work but dammit to hell does it totally and completely work. This album rocks.
4
Jun 18 2024
(Pronounced 'Leh-'NƩrd 'Skin-'NƩrd)
Lynyrd Skynyrd
I just read this on the bandās Wikipedia page:
[Begin Quote] In return for avoiding prison following his guilty plea to DUI manslaughter, Collins would be wheeled out onstage each night to explain to the audience why he could no longer perform [End Quote]
So to avoid going to prison for manslaughter for killing his girlfriend in a drunk driving accident, his paralyzed-from-the-neck-down ass had to be wheeled out on stage and tell 20,000 drunk rednecks not to drink and drive while they shouted āwoo!ā and āFree Bird!ā and their sister/girlfriends sitting on their shoulders flashed their tits?! Goddam I love the South!
Look, I donāt know about whether this band was racist or whether Neil Young put down his maple syrup-infused cocaine long enough to decide if he wanted to be friends with them or not. I only know when something rocks, and this album rocks.
I had the majority of these songs played at me on repeat by Rock 101 WROQ - where itās always a Southern county fairgrounds in 1978, forever! - for most of my teenage years, and I can still appreciate that this music is solid and fun and brings together a bunch of influences in a compelling and fresh way.
Iām sure that Skynyrd were deeply flawed in any number of different ways - just like every other rock band - but in the early to mid-70ās, they had it. This album is all the proof you could ever need of that.
4
Jun 19 2024
The Man Machine
Kraftwerk
Pro: only six songs
Con: with one exception, all the songs are over 5 minutes long
Pro: being robots is cool (https://youtu.be/2IPAOxrH7Ro?si=Ac80pCdLK4rwtkoI)
Con: these aren't really robots but just weird German dudes making boring bleep boop music in the 70's
Congrats on being historically important or whatever, but this isn't music for people to listen to. At least, not this person.
2
Jun 20 2024
Goo
Sonic Youth
I hate arty discordant music so much. Itās pretty much all I do. I can barely function in life because of how much time I spend hating Radiohead. Itās a real problem. But for some reason, Sonic Youth works for me. Itās probably because I got into them at the right age to be willing to look past the arty-ness and the discordance and my willingness to give them a chance at that age has allowed me to enjoy them even now when Iām a cranky old man who hates everything. Maybe the stupidity of youth isnāt so stupid after all.
All that being said, this album goes completely off the rails in the second half.
3
Jun 21 2024
Punishing Kiss
Ute Lemper
Boy oh boy did I totally hate this.
1
Jun 24 2024
Joan Armatrading
Joan Armatrading
I really enjoyed her singing voice and found it very expressive. The songs were poppy without being cheesy and folky without being boring ass folk bullshit. I could hear how influential this album obviously was on 80ās pop music and new wave. This was good and Iām glad to have heard it.
3
Jun 25 2024
Oracular Spectacular
MGMT
It seems like MGMT wanted to be droning electro artists but then decided to turn their 45-minute instrumental versions of the Ghostbusters theme song into 3-minute pop songs so they could get famous. And they did so very effectively. The three hits are solidly hits. The filler is pretty bland but not offensively so.
This is very 2007 āindieā pop but there are worse things.
3
Jun 26 2024
Dry
PJ Harvey
I like PJ Harvey okay. I had heard a few of these songs but never listened to the whole album. I had the three albums she put out after this one on CD and was always lukewarm about them. PJ Harvey rocks a little too hard for my soft little heart. But only slightly. Sheās close to my Goldilocks zone; but just a bit too harsh and discordant to fall into it. Iām glad sheās on this list though. Sheās certainly worth hearing.
3
Jun 27 2024
Beauty And The Beat
The Go-Go's
I had only heard the two hits and didnāt know much about this band at all but I think this album is pretty solid. I didn't know they were punk rockers who slowed their songs down to record them or that one of them played Joan of Arc in āBill and Tedās Excellent Adventure.ā
I think they are a little derivative of Blondie but a ton of things obviously copied them so itās hard to fault them for that. Good album.
3
Jun 28 2024
Foxbase Alpha
Saint Etienne
A bland boring collection of background music. āOh what a perfect album to halfway pay attention to while you do other thingsā is about the best you can say for this.
2
Jul 01 2024
Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
Wu-Tang Clan
The samples, the beats, the lyrics, the mountains of charisma coming from each group member; everything about this album kills. Wu-Tang Clan truly is nothing to fuck with.
5
Jul 02 2024
Back In Black
AC/DC
Spinal Tap quality lyrics; basic as hell guitar riffs and song structure; glorifying alcohol abuse after your last lead singer just drank himself to death; being Australian. Nothing about this should work, but it unquestionably does.
I hate hair metal and glam rock and all the shit that either owes its whole existence to this record or all the shit that came before it that AC/DC perfected on Back in Black, but this album cannot be denied. It has the depth of a Petri dish, but what it does it does exactly right. If you donāt like Back in Black, then you donāt like to rock.
3
Jul 03 2024
Happy Trails
Quicksilver Messenger Service
Whenever anyone says about an album, āthis is so timeless, it could have been released todayā I always think thatās bullshit. Music almost always sounds of its time. But I think Iāve found the exception. Jam bands have not advanced one iota in 55 years. The very few times I have heard Phish or Goose or moe or Umphreys McGee by accident or morbid curiosity, they have sounded exactly like this. And I donāt mean, quite similar to this. I mean, I think jam bands might get on stage and pretend to play instruments but are actually just playing records from other jam bands over the sound system and their tapioca-brained fans donāt realize it.
Iāve heard the theory that lawyers and accountants and middle managers arenāt really necessary to an economy and are really just make-work to ensure that mediocre children of rich people have jobs. Iām starting to think that jam bands are that for 20 to 50-year old bandnerd potheads. Nobody needs these bands to make new records because itās just the exact same shit that every other jam band has made for the last 60 years, but whoās going to let an unemployed smelly nerd who wonāt stop talking about polyrhythms crash on their couch for a decade? Nobody. So those dudes have got to have some kind of job and so we keep needing jam bands to scoop up 6 of them and put them on a bus to travel around taking drugs and sleeping with a parade of hairy foul-smelling whippet-addicted women and playing the exact same songs that every other jam band has played for the past fifty years.
This garbage may have sounded good in the Fillmore East to people tripping on acid, but Iām in my kitchen eating Frosted Mini-Wheats, so it sucks.
1
Jul 04 2024
Beyond Skin
Nitin Sawhney
How to describe the cultural and musical impact that Nitin Sawhneyās āBeyond Skinā has had in the 25 years since it was released? *checks notes* None. Oh, okay. None.
In 2001-02 I was home from school studying for exams on my parentsā computer, which had a program like Windows media player or something similar that had around five sample songs that came with the program. I didnāt have any CDs or other music readily accessible and I think I was probably depressed, so I didnāt go to the effort of finding any other way to listen to music and just listened to the five sample songs that came with that program over and over, 5-6 hours a day for around two weeks straight. They were fine songs. Generic, bland trip-hoppy and forgettable. Good to study to because they had almost nothing about them that stood out. This album sounds exactly like those Windows media player (or similar program) sample songs 90% of the time. The other 10% was Indian music.
2
Jul 05 2024
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
Eurythmics
Warning, hot take incoming, but lord have mercy āSweet Dreams (Are Made of This)ā - the song - is straight fire. A song that has been played at you eight billion times is hard to really appreciate, but that song still hits even after all that repetition.
The rest of the album has some good moments but mostly fades into the background next to the title track. I think this is an album worth hearing though. But also, I like to imagine this scene playing out during the recording of basically every 80ās synth pop album:
Producer: āHey [every 80ās synth pop artist], Terry is hereā
Every 80ās synth pop artist: āOh, cool, I love Terryā
Producer: ā. . . and he brought his hornā
Every 80ās synth pop artist: āOh noā
Producer: āYeah, he keeps listening to the demos and mentioning that a horn would go great during a bunch of partsā
Every 80ās synth pop artist: āHe canāt think . . .ā
Producer: āHe says heās got to get some work soon or heāll lose his union healthcare and he needs to have that surgery . . .ā
Every 80ās synth pop artist: āLook, I like Terry, but there is just no place for horns on this record. This is straight synth pop. We just canāt have a random horn section on these songs. It would sound totally out of place and cheesy. Can we just let Terry hit a key on a synth or play a tambourine on a song and give him a credit?ā
Producer: āHeās wearing sunglasses and keeps slicking back his hair and smiling and asking if anyone is āfeeling horn-yā while fingering the little buttons on his trumpet, but it looks like he is crying a little tooā
Every 80ās synth pop artist: ā. . . okay, geez. Find a song to have him play onā
Terry, popping his head around the corner, hair super-slicked back with a mixture of gel and tears: āBWHAAAAAHH BABABAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!ā
3
Jul 08 2024
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Albums that absolutely should be on this list: āDamn the Torpedosā; āFull Moon Feverā; āWildflowersā. Albums that should not be on this list: this one. Not only is this album way worse than most of Tom Pettyās catalog, but the album cover alone should disqualify it.
āAmerican Girlā is one of the greatest rock songs of all time and āBreakdownā is a great song as well, but those two songs are all this album has going for it. Tom Petty is such an amazing artist with so many great albums that the decision for this to be his only album included on this list is absurd.
3
Jul 09 2024
Maggot Brain
Funkadelic
Five Sly-and-the-Family-Stone-style pop funk songs bookended by a ten minute guitar solo and a ten minute psychedelic freak out. Now, the five pop funk songs are solid and the guitar solo had its moments, but I think this album may be a bit overrated.
I have always liked Parliament Funkadelic, but I have never loved them. This album does nothing to change that opinion.
3
Jul 10 2024
Stripped
Christina Aguilera
Thereās art, like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, made by someone with incredible technical skill, but also inspired by a vision they are compelled to bring into reality with little thought to its commercial appeal. And then thereās craft, like a dude putting up wallpaper. The dude putting up wallpaper doesnāt care whatās on the wallpaper. Could be rocket ships, could be pineapples, could be anything. He doesnāt care. He just has to put it up so he can get paid.
And everything is somewhere along that spectrum. The skilled artist that makes something utterly uncommercial because it is an uncompromising reflection of her artistic vision and only 5 people enjoy it because itās so weird. The artist who is inspired but lacks the skills to bring his ideas to life and so few are willing to engage with his ham-handed works no matter how great his ideas are. The craftsperson who is just working for a paycheck but who is so skilled at their craft that what they make is worth appreciating as a piece of art even though it was intended to be a purely commercial object. And the stoned teenager heating a frozen patty and putting it between two buns to make 1,000 McDonaldās hamburgers in an afternoon without any skill or inspiration.
This album, like 90% of pop music, is a McDonaldās hamburger. The only inspiration for this album was āI want to make more money and become more famousā. That is enough inspiration to achieve greatness in the hands of someone with exceptional skill or talent, but this is a Christina Aguilera album. This was disposable pop that was meant to sell a bunch of records and then be utterly forgotten for all time. To listen to this record 22 years later as if it were something other than that is a perversion of intent and taste and good sense. This album has no place on this list and Iām embarrassed for everyone involved to be listening to it.
1
Jul 11 2024
Sail Away
Randy Newman
I donāt understand Randy Newman. Is it actually music or is it a parody of music? A satire of music? Itās not Weird Al. Itās not Mark Russell. But itās also not, not those things. Is Randy Newman a comedian? Is he a singer? What am I supposed to do with these āsongsā? Am I supposed to go, āoh, what a clever turn of phraseā and chortle. Is listening to this āmusicā supposed to make me feel smart? Are these like MadTV sketches set to music? Is this a music review or a clever parody of a music review? Is this cynical social commentary on the absurdity of music reviews? Maybe itās a loving homage to music reviews that satirizes their cliches but also exemplifies what they do best? Do you feel smart reading this? Call me Pixar, I hope Iāve passed the audition.
2
Jul 12 2024
Van Halen
Van Halen
I loved when Ritchie from āThe Bearā misquoted David Lee Roth, saying: āIām not like this cause Iām in Van Halen, Iām in Van Halen cause Iām like this.ā Itās a great quote, it was a great quote for that character and itās such a rock star thing to say. That led me to read several websites compiling memorable quotes from David Lee Roth, which was well worth the time and effort. Two of my favorites were, āWhen you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, thatās when you know youāve made it.ā and āI'm a family man. I personally started 3 or 4 families last year.ā
Another one of his quotes was āThe reason more rock critics like Elvis Costello than us is that more rock critics look like Elvis Costello than us.ā Well, Mr. Lee Roth, your wisdom continues to impress, because I look a lot more like Elvis Costello than you, and I do not like your band. I get it; I can appreciate the shtick, but itās not for me. Probably because Iām not twelve years old and itās not 1983. Iām glad Van Halen was a thing for a while. I like the mythos of rock and roll excess and big hair and leather pants and shredding on guitar and ⦠bandanas?, but itās not for me.
2
Jul 15 2024
I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You
Aretha Franklin
After all the psychedelic hippie bullshit and completely unremarkable Brit pop on this list, it is so refreshing to hear pros that are masters of their instruments (watch the Muscle Shoals documentary if you havenāt yet) backing an amazingly talented singer and making perfect pop/soul/R&B songs. There should be way more albums like this on this list and way less of the garbage thatās actually on here.
The title track and āDo Right Womanā are incredible and āRespectā deserves its reputation as one of the best songs ever recorded. The rest of the albums is less impressive, but is still worth hearing. This album captures one of the greats of American music in her prime.
4
Jul 16 2024
White Blood Cells
The White Stripes
The White Stripes would go on to make great records, but did not do so this time out. A lot of the parts that they would later put together to great effect are here and the album has its moments, but overall I think this is skippable. That being said, even not-that-great White Stripes is pretty darn good.
3
Jul 17 2024
First Band On The Moon
The Cardigans
This is fine. Poppy. Swedish. Pleasant vocals. There is way worse music than this and so Iām inclined to give it a pass for being pretty insubstantial. Doesnāt do much for me, but it aināt hurting nothing.
3
Jul 18 2024
Meat Puppets II
Meat Puppets
I enjoyed this album when it was weird and countryish. Less so when they got thrashy. This didnāt grab me but I didnāt really mind it. I think it was worth hearing.
3
Jul 19 2024
Machine Gun Etiquette
The Damned
Maybe punk rockers are so angry because they spend all their time listening to shitty music. I know Iād be a bit of a grump if I listened to shit like this all the time. I only had it on for 36 minutes or so and Iām already in a bad mood. Hey punk rockers, try listening to an actual album of actual music some time. You might find out that you arenāt so angry after all. š
1
Jul 22 2024
The Velvet Underground
The Velvet Underground
The fact that this came out in 1969 blows my mind. I love John Cale and think this album suffers some from his absence but itās still great. Lou Reed was undeniably a flawed person but also, the world is more interesting for what he brought to it. This is - without a doubt - an album everyone should hear.
4
Jul 23 2024
Songs For Swingin' Lovers!
Frank Sinatra
Ahh, the songs my grandparents fell in love to. Maybe all art is made specifically for its time and going back to experience old art is pointless. Maybe we shouldnāt go to museums to look at the Mona Lisa and should instead just watch TikTok videos. Maybe the whole idea of art having timeless qualities is a delusion. Maybe all art is equally good, itās just that some appeals to more people at the time itās made than others, but no matter what, all of it should be tossed as soon as a new generation comes along so they can make their own art for themselves.
I donāt know. I guess people read āThe Odysseyā for a long time and seemed to be okay with it. All I know is that this is just old people music to me. I guess itās okay for what it is. But I donāt want to listen to old people music. Iām only in my early-late 40ās. I still want to rock! When are we going to get a Billy Joel album?!
2
Jul 24 2024
Bitches Brew
Miles Davis
I have tried appreciating this album a dozen or more times. I have owned it on vinyl for five years or so and probably put it on at least twice per year. Every time, I think I might finally hear what people like about this album. I mean, itās Miles Davis; itās got a cuss word in the title; the album art is rad; the other players on it are a whoās who of jazz fusion greats; itās got super long songs, which I typically am all about. But every time I put this on Iām like Charlie Brown getting the football pulled out from under him before he can kick it. I never cease to hate this album no matter how many times I put it on thinking āthis time is different. This time Iām going to get āBitches Brewā!ā.
Whatever it is that makes people like this album, I just canāt hear it. I think itās because I like songs and music and this is just noise and sounds. Noise albums feel really lazy to me. Like, it is hard work to put letters together to make words, and words together to make sentences. But words and sentences make sense. What if instead there were ānoise authorsā who put out a book that read:
assajnxoendkcbebdjdgggggggwmenfi!:&;)3!fdgkn$&537!?dvkkknfjebb gg did egxjsbxhchsnshcusnskxjJBgeibej$/$&;8,)2āwuxhnsjejHh&3&:@,$jdndjcksksbdhskebxyzhjGgVnwksodhzhjJ$f7j(4hh64:?$fgytyikbgujjn,&,@/&;$.!ā¬>\ā¬\Ā£$?/73838
for 300 pages? And pretentious nerds were like, āyeah man, I totally get it.ā No. Take the time to make your letters form words and your words form sentences. Yes, itās hard work and there is less time for shooting heroin, but itās worth it because then youāve written something people can read and not just a bunch of random characters.
āBitches Brewā is the aural equivalent of a bunch of random characters and Iām tired of pretending otherwise.
1
Jul 25 2024
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
David Bowie
A messianic, egotistical, androgynous alien as a metaphor for a rock star is so on the nose that itās almost a cliche at this point, but Bowie made the connection perfectly with this album and the songs are just as strong as the ideas behind them. I think people get a little too hyped about David Bowie. Like, heās good, but calm down. But this is an undeniably great album.
4
Jul 26 2024
Heavy Weather
Weather Report
First song sounds like a knock off āNight Courtā theme song but not in a good way. Second song sounds like Kenny G-tier quiet storm bullshit. Third song is background music for Axl Foley to chase bad guys to. Fourth song feels like I should be offering a woman with very large hair and shoulder pads a line of cocaine off my glass coffee table lit by neon light to try to get her āin the sack.ā Fifth songs has drums and yelling. Sixth song Iām at a limbo contest on a cruise ship and everyone there is white except the staff. Seventh song sounds like a Renaissance fair needed background music but only had a Casio keyboard. Last song is just standard issue jazz fusion made by and for people wearing brightly colored polo shirts.
This music is so lame they had to put a fedora on the cover to warn everyone. Sorry, itās obviously a jazz hat. https://youtu.be/Ry1xNNgbkYw?si=BS9OlKJt2mJPCS2X
2
Jul 29 2024
You've Come a Long Way Baby
Fatboy Slim
When will the palest and whitest of white guys stop taking samples of music made by black people, putting them into a computer, and turning them into ātheirā songs and making millions of dollars off of them? Never. You canāt make them. I canāt make them. They will never stop. The last number one song before humanity dies out will be created from a snippet of the chorus from 1920ās Mississippi blues man āBlind Willieā Tyrone āBlackity Blackā Johnsonās song āOh Lawd Iām Glad You Took My Eyes (So I Canāt See What Dem Crackers Done Done)ā mixed with a horn section from Isaac Hayes, a beat from Kurtis Blow and an anime porn video game voice sample mixed in garage band by Greg Mayonaisington under his stage name DJ Lil Coochee Stank. And it will be a bop.
Thatās the thing. Fatboy Slim, Moby, Daft Punk, DJ Shadow, The Chemical Brothers, I like them all. Itās a winning formula. The original artists made great music and the DJs who sample them make great music out of that other great music. Now, could the DJs make great music without relying on the earlier artists? Probably not. So Iām glad they did what they did. Cause this shit is banginā.
3
Jul 30 2024
Ramones
Ramones
The ultimate punk rock band. Completely lacking in substance and existing solely as a stylistic endeavor. These songs are garbage but at least they short.
2
Jul 31 2024
Automatic For The People
R.E.M.
This is one of my all-time favorite albums and may be the album Iāve listened to from start to finish more than any other. Songs about death and aging and loss and anger and whatever āThe Sidewinder Sleeps Toniteā is about. There are artists who do things different than what REM was doing better than this, but REM is the best there is at what they do. I love this album like an old friend.
5
Aug 01 2024
Marcus Garvey
Burning Spear
I am a bit embarrassed to say that my only familiarity with Burning Spear prior to listening to this was from SinĆ©ad O'Connorās āThrow Down Your Armsā (but not that embarrassed because itās actually a pretty awesome album). But I am really glad to have heard this. Totally solid roots reggae. Very cool.
4
Aug 02 2024
Myths Of The Near Future
Klaxons
From being offered a trip to space as incentive to sign with a label and marrying Kiera Knighly in 2007-10 to only one of the former band members having a Wikipedia page in 2024 perfectly encapsulates how the British music press overhypes anything even remotely popular with a glimmer of next-big-thing potential. Look, British music press, you guys had the Beatles. Youāre not going to get another one of those. You need to stop acting like the next one is just around the corner. Itās been 65 years. Surely people are going to stop falling for it eventually.
I guess for a Brit, living in London is like being a celebrity, and so if a band has 40 people in the audience - but theyāre 40 Londoners, I.e., the coolest, most influential people on the planet - then it must seem like the event of the century. But itās not. You just live in a dumb country.
As for this band, theyāre fine. A little Bloc Party, a little Franz Ferdinand, a few decent songs. Nothing special whatsoever and no reason to hear before you die. Throw them on the pile of this-is-the-most-important-band-ever-I-swear-I-mean-it-this-times put forth by the British music press every eight weeks and forgotten six months later.
2
Aug 05 2024
Led Zeppelin II
Led Zeppelin
Dammit, I'm going to give this pretentious, derivative, plagiaristic, screechy-vocaled nerdrock made by pedophiles five stars aren't I? *guitar starts jumping between channels on "What Is and What Should Never Be"* Yep. I am indeed going to give this five stars. Because I have two ears and they're connected in some way that I do not in any way understand to a set of balls. It can be as dumb or wankish as it wants to be, but this is rock & roll. If someone had never heard rock & roll music and wanted to know what that term meant, you could play them Led Zeppelin II and say "this is what rock & roll is" and they would say "did they just mention Gollum and Mordor and then have a several minute-long drum solo?" and you would just smile and do that thing with your hands that looks like devil horns and start nodding your head. And they would either get it or they wouldn't it, but you would have done all you could to bring them into the dark, dank, wood-paneled basement/wizard's laboratory wherein dwells rock & roll. Motherfucking five stars and fuck you for even considering anything else. Dammit.
5
Aug 06 2024
Fever To Tell
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I really liked āMapsā when it came out and went to Best Buy to buy a CD to try and figure out what this whole post-Y2K indie scene was all about but ended up getting the āGarden Stateā soundtrack instead, which I think was the right choice. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are a little more discordant than where my Goldilocks zone lies, but not too far outside of it. This is a pretty cool album and worth hearing.
3
Aug 07 2024
Warehouse: Songs And Stories
Hüsker Dü
Hüsker Dü has always been one of those youāre-supposed-to-like-this-band bands, like Gang of Four or Radiohead, that I just never saw the appeal of. I appreciate that the book picked their last album where theyād apparently softened up quite a bit, and I suppose I liked this more than āZen Arcadeā, although I donāt remember much about it other than it being noisy and abrasive and sucking, but even at their poppiest, Hüsker Dü arenāt poppy enough for me. āItās Not Peculiarā was pretty decent.
Look, Iād be angry if I lived in Minnesota too, but you donāt have to put that evil on me Ricky Bobby. Just go back to your igloo and drink your Molsen with the Gundersons and the Olaffsens and say āyou betchaā a bunch. Donāt make a bunch of cranky aggro albums that I have to listen to in order to be considered a true music fan.
2
Aug 08 2024
KIWANUKA
Michael Kiwanuka
The first 15 seconds of the first song sound like Curtis Mayfield and then the album falls directly off a cliff and never recovers. The comments on YouTube are all āI found this song through a Gap commercial!!1ā and that sums this album up perfectly. This has no edge or rawness. This is rounded off, safe, soul Muzak. This is music for a Gap commercial or Sirius XM The Spectrum or NPR. Or British people. I guess the British could listen to this on their wireless while the kettle is on and feel super soulful. Good job, Brits. You guys sure are funky.
2
Aug 09 2024
Chicago Transit Authority
Chicago
I absolutely love this album. I only knew Chicago from their cheesy 80ās soft rock and when I heard this album for the first time it absolutely blew me away. If it werenāt for āFree Form Guitarā this would be a five star album for me. That being said, I have some issues with āDoes Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?ā
First, a man comes up to the speaker and asks him what the time is on his watch. Awkward phrasing, but fine. But then the speaker answers, ādoes anybody really know what time it is? does anybody really care? (About time)ā. Yes, someone does know what time it is. You do. Based on the question you were asked, we all know you are wearing a watch. Also, the guy who asked you the question cares about what time it is, thatās why he asked. Maybe he has a job interview at 2:30pm and needs to know if he should start heading over there you stupid hippie! Stop blathering about time as a concept and tell the poor guy what the numbers on your fucking watch say!
Then, in a separate incident, the speaker was walking down the street and a pretty lady looked at him and āsaid her diamond watch had stopped cold dead.ā Okay, bullshit. Nobody has ever said that. So now youāre annoying people who are just trying to live their lives with your pseudo-philosophical garbage and youāre a liar.
Also, why do you even wear a watch? If you are so enlightened about the pointlessness of knowing what time it is, why are you wearing a device on your wrist whose sole purpose is providing you with the information that you seem to think no one should ever need to know? Just so people will ask you the time and you can deny them that simple and practical bit of information and instead pontificate at them? Fuck you, sir.
4
Aug 12 2024
Definitely Maybe
Oasis
Oh man, if you were a 3.8 on the preference-for-less-poppy-music scale in 1994 - with a 1 being Ace of Bass and a 10 being (I donāt know) Colossamite - this album lived in your CD player for most of late 94-early 95. But I was a 5.2 on that scale (Tori Amos, Portishead, REM) and so I never owned this CD and just know the hits as being played on the radio constantly around that time. And the hits are good, but I have very little affection or nostalgia for this album. Itās pretty cool, I guess. British pop rock. A little bit of attitude but also sophistication. Weāre Duran Duran meets The Sex Pistols. Weāre wearing suits, but we also have stubble and say āarseā and āwankerā, so watch out! Kind of a neat mixture. But not really my thing.
3
Aug 13 2024
C'est Chic
CHIC
Since this album is basically exactly the same as the other Chic album on this list, Iāll just repurpose my review of āRisquĆ©ā for āCāest Chicā:
I know the whole āDisco Sucksā movement was grounded in racism and homophobia from middle-aged white construction workers who throw batteries at Santa Claus and thought everyone should just be happy to listen to Bachman Turner Overdrive for the rest of time, but disco sucks. Disco music is music made for people to dance to. Is āThe Electric Slideā or āThe Cupid Shuffleā on this list because of their importance in giving boring people something to do at weddings? This music does not need to be heard unless you are wearing bell bottoms, being felt up by Andy Warhol and doing the hustle.
I am aware that Chic was influential and people have sampled them millions of times to make other songs. But that just means these are bad songs with some good parts in them (mostly the bass which is, admittedly, bangin). So letās listen to those better songs that reuse the good parts of these songs instead of this cheese-fest. Most of this is pretty lame, and even worse, itās lame and way too long. If youāre going to be cheesy, at least get it over with quickly.
In conclusion, disco sucks. *throws battery at Santa Claus*
2
Aug 14 2024
This Is Fats Domino
Fats Domino
The television show āHappy Daysā was filmed in the 1970ās but set in the 1950ās. It was a running gag on the show that whenever Richie Cunningham would āmake itā with a girl (offscreen, of course), heād appear in the next scene, bold as brass, singing Fats Dominoās version of āBlueberry Hillā. It was his way of celebrating what had just happened. His way of giving thanks for being happy, for having indulged in a rite of passage, and for simply being alive.
https://youtu.be/o20YZ9B5BaQ?si=V5ceaCHJ4Rl1T7Tq
That carrot-topped freak would stroll right past his mom and dad and little sister, walking bowlegged, reeking of sex, sticky love juices quickly drying on his be-freckled face, incubating a virulent case of the clap heād just picked up in the backseat of his jalopy from Pinkie Tuscadero, with a shit-eating grin on his face and singing āBlueberry Hill.ā
That nasty little ginger sex fiend had no shame. Walking right up to his cornfed midwestern momma with her bouffant and her apron, doing a āI just blew a bitchās back out and since this is the 1950ās sheās probably going to get pregnant and have to drop out of school and have the baby in secret in a dingy charity hospital in Chicago and give it up for adoption and slink back into town ten months later and say she was recovering from polio but everyone will know what really happened and sheāll never be employed in anything other than a service job and no one decent will marry her while I marry the bank presidentās daughter and start working in his bank as a vice-president right out of Wisconsin University and turn her down for a loan to open a beauty shop fifteen years later because she doesnāt have an upstanding reputation even after all that time and she has this emptiness inside and never stops wondering if her baby is okayā touchdown celebration dance, singing āš¶I found my thrill, on Blueberry Hillš¶.ā
2
Aug 15 2024
Pretenders
Pretenders
āThe Carsā came out about a year before this and I think the two albums are very similar. Both debuts; both straddling punk, new wave and pop; and most importantly, both so incredibly cool. The difference being that āThe Carsā had like six all-time classic new wave songs on it and this āonlyā has three.
I prefer āLearning to Crawlā to this album, but I prefer āLearning to Crawlā to most albums, so thatās hardly a knock on this one. The Pretenders had just enough punk in their pop to make it interesting, but they always seemed to know they were making pop music. For Chrissie Hyndeās voice to be as distinctive as it is, it always surprises me how different the Pretenders sound from song to song, and I think thatās because they were so eclectic in their sound. They were unafraid to incorporate any genre that brought something positive to their songs.
This is a great debut album by a great band.
3
Aug 16 2024
Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge
Mudhoney
more like dud honey
2
Aug 19 2024
Rust Never Sleeps
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
I was at a bar one Friday night and a guy came in and played ten Neil Young songs on the jukebox and then did a magic trick for me. I love Neil Young and thought he was charming and so we got to talking. He asked me out and I agreed. We dated for close to a year, and then one evening he took me to that same bar and proposed by pulling a ring out of his sleeve with āPocahontasā playing in the background. I said āSee the losers in the best bars; Meet the winners in the divesā which he of course knew meant āyes.ā
We were married for thirty years and had four beautiful children. He passed away in 2022. We held his wake at the same bar where we met. Neil Young played on the jukebox all night. Our eldest son waited until the evening was winding down and went up to his fatherās silk-draped coffin. Every eye in the place was on him. You couldāve heard a pin drop (heās a natural showman just like his father). With tears in his eyes, he looked up and said, āIt's better to burn out than fade awayā and pulled the silk cloth from the coffin with a flourish. There was a burst of flame and the coffin was gone. There wasnāt a dry eye in the place. Except the bartender. That guy was a dick.
3
Aug 20 2024
Dire Straits
Dire Straits
The classic rock station I listened to growing up would play "Sultans of Swing" every fifth song, like clockwork. A typical afternoon in my young adulthood would sound like this: the Georgia Satellites; the Marshall Tucker Band; Blackfoot; ZZ Top; "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits; the Charlie Daniels Band; the Doobie Brothers; Creedence; Atlanta Rhythm Section; "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits; 38 Special; the Allman Brothers Band; Molly Hatchet; Lynyrd Skynyrd; "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits, etc. Maybe a "Money for Nothing" thrown in once a day for variety. Because of this, I fucking hate that song. I don't know if it is good or bad, I only know I hate it.
But I kind of like Dire Straits. They have a laidback jazzy blues sound that is pretty cool. None of the songs on this record really stand out, but they are all pretty good. It isn't Dire Straits's fault that Rock 101 played "Sultans of Swing" to death and so I try not to hold it against them. But they are never going to be one of my favorite bands, despite them being totally decent.
3
Aug 21 2024
The Hour Of Bewilderbeast
Badly Drawn Boy
On the one hand, ālike the partridge family, but indieā is basically my favorite genre. On the other hand, this is like if Elliott Smith was British, knew how to play the cello and was 12% more interesting. Elliott Smith probably knew how to play the cello and needed to be way more than 12% more interesting for me to like him. This album is completely inoffensive but just doesnāt do it for me.
2
Aug 22 2024
Low
David Bowie
This album is certainly interesting and worth hearing, but itās not my jam. Iām sorry that the pretty pop/rock star got hooked on cocaine and had to go to Berlin and listen to ambient music and krautrock while getting clean, but that doesnāt make him an ambient musician or a krautrocker. It just makes him a strung-out tourist. He does well when he is making his pretty pop/rock (āSound and Visionā) but the rest of this is Bowie doing something other than what Bowie does best. So itās just not that great, despite the music nerds overhyping it for the last decade.
Also, hey late-70ās David Bowie: https://youtu.be/-E3dwBabYBY?si=meE0-IpG0H4__NT3
3
Aug 23 2024
Apocalypse Dudes
Turbonegro
Is all popular music just a way to trick dumb kids out of their pocket money?
1
Aug 26 2024
Doggystyle
Snoop Dogg
Joyce Brothers didnāt care about boxing, but memorized every fact in existence about boxing because that was what she needed to do to become famous by appearing on āThe $64,000 Questionā. She wasnāt a boxing expert. She was a celebrity that needed to do something to become famous. I think Snoop is much the same. Heās not really a rapper, but rap was the best way to become what he is: a celebrity. Itās not that he isnāt a talented rapper, but thatās not his real calling. He was born to be famous and he achieved that, and this album- and his star turn on The Chronic before it - is how he did it.
This album wouldnāt have allowed him to achieve the fame he was destined for if it wasnāt good, and it is, but I donāt think itās great. It was on-trend and captured a growing movement at the time it was released, and so deserves all the credit it gets for those things. But as a work of art, I think itās just okay. But how do you separate its artistic merit from its cultural impact? I will always be affected by having been a teenage boy in 1993 and being at ground zero of its cultural impact. I think itās a good and important album but Iām not sure how much of that is nostalgia.
As many people have pointed out, much of the lyrical content is abhorrent. A lot of the āwe donāt love these hoesā-style lyrics sound like whistling past the graveyard to me. Girls and sex play such an outsized role in the psyche of adolescent boys that repeatedly describing how much they donāt care about women might have been overcompensating for what they perceived to be a weakness. Itās not dissimilar to the anti-simping rhetoric you see online today. That doesnāt make it okay, but it makes it a little more understandable.
Snoop was a good rapper who had a nearly unlimited supply of charisma and charm. He leveraged those things to make him a celebrity and has played that role for the last three decades. Doggystyle captured everything he was at this time and I think it is an album that everyone should hear. That being said, it is not an album that I ever put on to listen to.
3
Aug 27 2024
The Clash
The Clash
The Clash might be my favorite punk rock band. But I hate punk rock, so that makes them my 10,000th or so favorite band overall, behind basically all bands in all genres I donāt hate, except Radiohead. Even a punk rock band can be better than Radiohead. But most punk rock bands arenāt even good enough to be better than Radiohead, and that is really saying something, cause Radiohead sucks.
Punk rockers are the ultimate posers. Itās all an act. Punk rock is the least authentic genre of music ever. It was invented by a clothing store owner to sell T-shirts to scene kids (https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/music/1420480/Sex-Pistols-manager-Malcolm-McLaren-punk-rock-johnny-rotten-evg/amp). Even the cheesiest musicians generally care about music. But not punk rockers. They only care about looking cool and drinking or shooting heroin and being angry at whatever they are angry at. And most of them are too dumb to even articulate what it is they are angry at.
Pop garbage is made by people who only care about making money and being famous instead of music and punk rock is made by people who only care about looking cool and drinking or shooting heroin and being angry instead of music. The entire genre is a put-on that only the truly, deeply stupid fall for.
All that being said, the Clash are okay.
2
Aug 28 2024
Solid Air
John Martyn
I had never heard of this artist before and when I saw the words āBritish folk singer-songwriterā in the Wikipedia excerpt, I was seriously dreading listening to this. I figured I was in for another Donovan-type album, but this was surprisingly enjoyable. Reminded me a lot of Nick Drake but - and I am loathe to say this about a British folk singer-songwriter - kind of funky. I guess it is more jazzy than funky, but I swear I heard echos of Curtis Mayfieldās Super Fly soundtrack in āDreams by the Seaā. I am glad to have heard this for the first time and I am planning to check out more music by this artist.
3
Aug 29 2024
Bitte Orca
Dirty Projectors
āStillness is the Moveā is a good song. Unfortunately this album has eight other songs on it.
You just know that everyone in this band owns grooming products that cost more than my car and also smells bad all the time.
From Wikipedia: āLongstreth notes that the music contained within the album "felt very [much] about colors, and their interaction,"ā. Isnāt that just indie music in a nutshell? Other genres have songs about sex and drugs and dancing and frustration and divorce and violence and poverty and things real people deal with, and indie music has songs about things twenty-five year old sadboy trustafarians think about while they are high on mushrooms and meditating in their Brooklyn apartment next to their vegan kumbacha.
They call it indie music because it belongs indie trash.
On May 8, 2009, members of Dirty Projectors collaborated with Bjork to perform an orchestral composition for five voices and acoustic guitar composed by Longstreth as part of a charity concert to benefit Housing Works, a nonprofit dedicated to finding housing for homeless men, women and children with AIDS. Halfway through the concert the homeless people stood up and said "if itās all the same to you, we'll stick with the AIDS!"
2
Aug 30 2024
They Were Wrong, So We Drowned
Liars
Hey, wait a minute! This is more mentally stimulating than 60s pop rock:
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1
Sep 02 2024
Since I Left You
The Avalanches
I love this album and have since I first heard it. Itās a little bit ridiculous, but itās undeniably catchy and fun to listen to. Definitely worth hearing.
4
Sep 03 2024
Otis Blue/Otis Redding Sings Soul
Otis Redding
When Otis Redding was asked to record a duets album with Carla Thomas, he said āWell, hey, you from Memphis, you from Tennessee, you can hang". The man knew what was up.
If you havenāt watched the documentary āStax: Soulsville USAā, I would highly recommend it. The talent gathered in that particular place at that particular time is mind-boggling. From Wikipedia:
Except for one track, Otis Blue was recorded in the span of 24 hours from July 9 to 10, 1965, at the Stax recording studio in Memphis, Tennessee. As with Redding's previous records, he was backed by the Stax house band Booker T. & the M.G.'s, a horn section featuring members of the Mar-Keys and the Memphis Horns, and pianist Isaac Hayes
Insane. Not only the personnel, but also to have knocked almost all of these songs out in 24 hours.
I think the covers of āMy Girlā and āWonderful Worldā suffer by comparison to the originals, but if that is the worst thing you can say about an album then you are clearly discussing one of the greatest collections of songs in the history of pop/soul/R&B. This album is a masterpiece.
5
Sep 04 2024
Exile On Main Street
The Rolling Stones
I think āBeatles or Stones?ā as a personality test-type question is silly. The Rolling Stones are a great band but the Beatles are so far beyond the Stones that itās not even a contest. I donāt agree with Paul McCartney saying the Stones were just a blues cover band, but I donāt think thatās completely wrong either. Not only am I not a big Stones fan, but I also have an intrinsic suspicion - bordering on full on dislike - for double albums. They are almost always just missed opportunities to make a really great single album. They are typically boring and self-indulgent and way too long. All that being said, this double album by The Rolling Stones is my favorite album of all time.
This album is what spinning out of control and coming apart at the seams sounds like. Fast and hard and joyous and raucous; and then decadent and lascivious and louche; and then exhausted and cynical and a paranoid bundle of nerves and depression; and finally transcendent. If you canāt get into this album then you have to ask yourself if youāve ever even run a slight temperature in the funkhouse, much less had a full on fever up in that mother.
I also love albums with completely mundane origin stories. Started in London, then recorded over months In the basement of Keithās villa in the south of France with a revolving door of contributors, then Mick leads overdubs in LA with a bunch of session musicians inspired by Aretha Franklinās gospel singing. There is no overarching theme or plan. They were mostly just drunk or high or broke or running from the law or trying to cheat the taxman or their previous manager or the French police and these songs happened to be recorded at some point in that years long fiasco. This album should not be good. And it isnāt good and it certainly isnāt perfect, itās just - to me - the greatest album of all time.
5
Sep 05 2024
A Short Album About Love
The Divine Comedy
One of the most memorably hateable albums on this list so far has been by Ute Lemper, and this guy is in league with her to do . . . something. And that is part of what frustrates me about this and Ute Lemper. I donāt understand what they are doing. Do they want to write songs for musicals? Is this crooning? Are they lounge acts? What the fuck is this? And more importantly, who is this for? Iāve been on this earth for 46 years and have met all kinds of people in that time and canāt think of anyone I have ever encountered that would be into this. Who listens to this?! https://youtu.be/ilcRS5eUpwk?si=TJiOw4Kr3usTorbO
2
Sep 06 2024
Music in Exile
Songhoy Blues
I went through a pretty big Afrobeat phase awhile back but was not familiar with desert blues. Itās not bad. Nothing on this album particularly grabbed me but it was a nice change of pace as something to listen to. Iām glad to have spent some time with this album.
3
Sep 09 2024
Live And Dangerous
Thin Lizzy
A live version of their greatest hits is kind of cheating isnāt it? They should have just put Jailbreak on the list. Also I like the comic book art on that one. And I like it when bands are really blatant about the fact that it is 13-18 year old boys who buy their records and so that is clearly who they are catering to.
Itās always crazy to me that people describe Thin Lizzy as hard rock. I know the band isnāt hard rock because I kind of like them. Plus I have ears. Thin Lizzy is like Boston if Boston was 10% less poppy.
Thin Lizzy is pretty good but has never been one of my favorites. Hearing this live album did not change that.
3
Sep 10 2024
Kind Of Blue
Miles Davis
Sometimes things are really popular and critically acclaimed for a reason. This is one of those. A great album that everyone should hear.
5
Sep 11 2024
John Prine
John Prine
āSweet songs never last too long on broken radiosā. āSam Stoneā is about Sam Stone; but the song keeps returning to those kids running around in other peopleās clothes. Sam Stone is dead center of the picture, but the artist has painted it in such a way that the viewerās eye keeps being drawn to those kids, almost without the viewer knowing why. If they really look, they will walk away thinking thoughts they may have never thought before. They will be a different person walking away from it than they were when they first looked at it.
John Prine accomplished more in a few lines than most artists do in their entire careers, all so a bunch of Philistines could bless the internet with insights like āI donāt like country music hur hur.ā
4
Sep 12 2024
Here's Little Richard
Little Richard
You cannot overstate his influence. You read his Wikipedia page and basically every artist youāve ever heard of says that he inspired them. I like how short the songs are. I like the insane frenetic energy. I think this is more a collection of singles and b-sides than a proper album, but given that he was basically inventing rock&roll, Iām willing to give him a pass for that. However, this is not an album - to the extent it even is an album - that I would ever put on to listen to for pleasure.
2
Sep 13 2024
The Sensual World
Kate Bush
I like Kate Bush. But I like cool synth pop Kate Bush. Not lame, world music, Peter Gabriel-wannabe, songs about dancing with Hitler Kate Bush.
Also, how bad was the lighting in this dancing establishment? Hitler is a pretty distinctive looking dude, and given that he was on the front page of the paper the next day, was pretty well known when this story takes place. So some little weirdo comes up to you yelling in German about flipping a coin and dancing and you look at him and heās got a stupid Hitler mustache and youāre in Berlin or wherever in ā39 and donāt think to yourself āwait a minute this guy might be Hitlerā? I think this is on you lady.
2
Sep 16 2024
Guero
Beck
I was a sophomore in high school when Mellow Gold came out, and that was a pretty important album for me. Iāve seen Beck in concert a couple of times. I liked Odelay, Midnight Vultures and Sea Change. Iāve owned all of those and Mutations and Stereopathic Soul Manure on CD or vinyl. Iād say Iām a moderate Beck fan. I listened to this album for a few weeks when it came out and tried to get into it, but it just didnāt do it for me. Itās fine, but it kind of felt like a rehash of old ideas by someone who didnāt have it any more. Relistening to it today did nothing to change that opinion. It has a few nice moments, but not enough to make it anything like an album you must hear before you die.
3
Sep 17 2024
The Marshall Mathers LP
Eminem
I donāt need a rap album to hear the thoughts of dirtbags whose brains have never fully developed because of fetal alcohol syndrome or whatever is wrong with them. They will tell you their thoughts. Loudly. UFOs are making chem trails turn everyone on the flat earth gay and their exās boyfriend been talking shit and is about to get fucked up, not to mention their bitch-ass parole officer and their whore mom. Cool. Theyāll gladly pour their half-thought out nonsense into your ears any chance you give them. Or you can listen to the Joe Rogan podcast. There are plenty of sources of dirtbag ramblings. You donāt need to listen to an album to hear them.
There are so many things worth rebelling against, but when you start to lump into that category the fact that youāre not allowed to drive drunk or hit women or kill people that piss you off, then I assume youāre not a serious person and Iām not going to listen to you. I think that is something that bothers me about a lot of music geared towards angry young men. Youth rebellion is such a powerful force, but life beats you down so fast that it only really lasts from ages 15 to 25. If we could concentrate that force at something, we could change the world. But not the whole world. Just maybe one big thing. But pop/rap/punk music is the thumb over the nozzle of the hose that makes that anger come out fast and hard in a bunch of pointless directions. If an entire generation was like āweāre really angry at the way the world is!ā and all of their pop/rap/punk stars were to say āYes. The world has a lot of problems. Letās fix one.ā then they could end employer-sponsored healthcare in a generation. Then the next generation could end fossil fuel usage. Then the next could reform policing from the ground up. They could use their anger to make real change instead of having it spray out uselessly in the stupidest possible directions.
All of these ārebelliousā musicians are just tools of the man taking the power of youthful frustration and diverting it away from anything that could create real change.
1
Sep 18 2024
New Gold Dream (81/82/83/84)
Simple Minds
Itās . . . not bad? Itās not unpleasant to listen to. Occasionally it has some enjoyable parts. One of the worst album covers Iāve ever seen, but thatās neither here nor there. This is fine 80ās synth pop. It didnāt really do much for me, but it did not make my day worse. So thatās something I guess.
Actually, after a couple of listens, Iād say this is better than average 80ās synth pop. A bit murky and dirge-like for my taste at times, but overall kinda cool. Had a little Tangerine Dreamy kind of instrumental in the middle, which was fun. Iād say this is an album worth hearing.
3
Sep 19 2024
Get Rich Or Die Tryin'
50 Cent
I always thought of 50 Cent as a novelty. I knew the hits but had never listened to this album all the way through. This was okay. Itās dumb catchy rap music. There are worse things.
2
Sep 20 2024
Tubular Bells
Mike Oldfield
Found this in the used bin at a record store years ago and decided to check it out since I was getting into prog rock and absolutely loved it. I know itās nerdy. I know itās pretentious. I know itās absurd. I donāt care. There is something about this album that just clicks for me. He does a great job of building tension and then paying it off.
4
Sep 23 2024
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Elton John
What an insanely great album. Even the cheesy songs that have been played to death on the radio sound better in the context of this record because itās so well put together. But you have the classic double album problem of there being stuff that could have been cut to leave you with a much stronger single album.
Honestly though, Elton John might have been the best in the world at this time. What was Stevie Wonder doing? Innervisions. Well, he was up there. If he wasnāt the absolute best, most interesting, recording artist in the world in 1973, he was without question in the conversation. Also, holy shit, Google āalbums 1973ā. Shit is crazy. We havenāt had as many truly great albums in the last 24 years as came out just in 1973.
This album is big, weird, overstuffed, silly, bombastic and insane. Everyone should hear this.
4
Sep 24 2024
Funeral
Arcade Fire
I canāt separate how I feel about this album now from how I felt about it 20 years ago when it was released. It seemed like a culmination of so much that had been bubbling up in indie music for years but that never caught on outside of that scene. At the same time, it felt like something completely new. I will likely always love this album because of how much it blew me away when it came out.
Itās just dramatic enough. Itās just arty enough. Itās just complex enough. It is as much one cohesive piece of art - rather than just a collection of unrelated songs lumped together for no real reason - as any other album I can think of. I consider this easily one of the best albums of the last twenty years.
5
Sep 25 2024
Closer
Joy Division
Two of these dorks met at a Sex Pistols concert and one of them thought the Sex Pistols "destroyed the myth of being a pop star, of a musician being some kind of god that you had to worship" and borrowed £35 from his mother to buy a bass guitar the next day. That is exactly the type of origin story I would expect for this droning, tuneless, boring, sad teenage dracula music.
Going to see a fake manufactured sham of an alt boy band and thinking they were changing music forever and borrowing money from your mom to copy them. It couldnāt have been that hard, the Sex Pistols couldnāt play their instruments either, because manufactured boy bands never can.
Also, I've got a question for this Ian Curtis fellow: https://youtu.be/v9wKiA4sigc?si=jqH-U83I8NOb_7MQ&t=33
2
Sep 26 2024
Rocks
Aerosmith
Riding around the country, playing guitars loud, rocking out every night, young girls in my bed, fifth of vodka in my hand, scarf tied to my microphone stand, oops the Sheriffās 16-year old daughter might be pregnant, gotta roll, guitar solo, boogie woogie, two girls at a time, one might have been a man and the other too young even for me, drum solo, scarves hanging in the bus now, makes for more quiet spots to take the girls, the Sheriff lost his election because of the scandal related to his daughterās pregnancy but somehow his very pregnant 16-year old daughter was elected Sheriff is that legal, too tired and drunk to understand, that girl was definitely a man but also wearing a Sheriffās badge, these guitars are so loud, I canāt see anything through all these scarves, Iām surrounded by 16-year old pregnant law enforcement officers and scarves and guitars, I canāt get sober but every bottle I try to drink from is just full of scarves, Iāve been on the road for years rocking out every night but these pregnant Sheriffs never seem to give birth, theyāre just always pregnant, I would skip town but theyāre on the bus and also the entire audience at the next concert venue, I think, but itās hard to see them clearly because Iām so drunk and the guitars are so loud and there are too many scarves in the way, my entire closet is just scarves and Iām scared to change out of my clothes because Iām worried theyāll have turned to scarves when I try to put them back on and the 16-year old Sheriffs are too pregnant to want to fool around but we do stuff anyway and itās getting odd with all my clothes on and I was just dry-humping scarves last night and there wasnāt even a 16-year old Sheriff around I donāt think, why am I so drunk, I canāt hear anything but boogie woogie rock and roll and maybe itās the bus fumes that are making me high all the time but I canāt think straight and I canāt see anyone because of all the fucking scarves and I canāt hear anything over the guitars and I just want to talk to someone and ask how long this tour is supposed to go on or where weāre going or realistically how many Sheriffs - especially 16-year old pregnant Sheriffs - there could be serving in office at the same time in one country or whether this is an international tour but we are only ever on buses and in clubs I think but I canāt really tell because scarves and the 16-year old Sheriffs just want to have sex but also donāt and itās hard to tell if that is actually really happening because I canāt see them or hear them but I know theyāre there. Rock & Roll!
3
Sep 27 2024
Off The Wall
Michael Jackson
Take disco, speed it up, add really watered down funk horns and top it off with Motown polish. It makes for a really great sound and this is a great album. Stronger on the first side than the second, but when itās strong it is really strong.
Itās hard not to dance when this album is playing. But Iāve criticized disco for being just music to dance to in the past, so why is this better? Iām not sure. Itās definitely not that the lyrics are any deeper on this album than on a random Chic song. Maybe itās Jackson as a performer. He wasnāt just the singer in a disco band. He was honestly a once in a generation talent.
A lot of the material on this album was great but Michael Jackson was going to elevate any material he performed at this time. In addition to his natural talent, he had been training his entire life to be great at this one thing. Michael Jackson was like a terrible science experiment designed to produce the ultimate pop star. It made for an awful human being, but hey ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ, a hit is a hit.
4
Sep 30 2024
Can't Buy A Thrill
Steely Dan
The band called their cover for The Royal Scam the ugliest album cover of the 70's except for this one. And this truly is an abomination. I think a lot of Steely Dan fans are not crazy about this album because it is the least Steely Dan-esque Steely Dan album, but I think it is pretty good. I love "Dirty Work" and the other hits are also strong. I think the band was still discovering what it was when this was recorded, but a lot of the elements that would make up peak Steely Dan were here. This is a good record.
4
Oct 01 2024
Either Or
Elliott Smith
If I wanted to hear a scuzzy pillhead whine about how sad they are for thirty-seven minutes, Iād go fuck your mother and then refuse to pay her.
2
Oct 02 2024
A Grand Don't Come For Free
The Streets
British people ārappingā š. https://youtu.be/8bsxppX7BZc?si=Qd9bVCprd9n0fQ3_
1
Oct 03 2024
Yeezus
Kanye West
I do not support nazis. But I wonder why the same people that claim they wonāt listen to Kanye because he is a nazi never seem to draw the same line when it comes to David Bowie (https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/david-bowie-fascist-1970s/). Kanye West is clearly dealing with mental illness and drug addiction. He is also clearly very talented and ambitious and funny and clever and charismatic. I think this album is worth hearing despite the fact that I do not agree with Kanyeās recent statements related to basically everything.
3
Oct 04 2024
Who Killed...... The Zutons?
The Zutons
This is fine. Very 2004-ey. Iām sure that whatever song was in a Gap commercial made for a very compelling Gap commercial. But I think you could pretty easily put together a list of 1001 albums to hear before you die that didnāt include this one if you werenāt a dumbfuck.
3
Oct 07 2024
Odelay
Beck
I like this album. Itās not one I listen to much but I still like it. I think itās fun. There is something to be said about music thatās fun. I think that it coming out when it did in terms of where I was in life at that time makes me rank it higher than I might otherwise but I also think it is pretty decent even apart from that.
4
Oct 08 2024
Five Leaves Left
Nick Drake
I have tried with Nick Drake a bunch of times and he just doesnāt click for me. I donāt think heās bad, but for some reason I just donāt enjoy listening to his albums. I like a few of his songs, but most of them - I donāt dislike - but also donāt really particularly enjoy. I think he belongs on this list but heās just not my cup of wistful, calming, melancholic tea.
3
Oct 09 2024
Your Arsenal
Morrissey
Itās not like I listen to Johnny Marr solo records, so I donāt think itās that heās great and Morrissey sucks. I think that those four together at that particular time captured lightning in a bottle and then never had it again separately or at other times in their lives. Cause the difference between how much I love The Smiths and how much I donāt love Morrisseyās solo albums is surprisingly vast.
3
Oct 10 2024
Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite
Maxwell
I think that there is something to be said for an album that has a fully formed concept of what it wants to be and executes that vision flawlessly. Now, clearly the vision that Maxwell had for this album was Midnight Love-era Marvin Gaye (which I typically do not enjoy), a little bit of Prince, and sounds leaning a little closer to Kenny G than Iām typically okay with, but dammit did he hit his fucking mark. It is hard to dislike an album that does what it sets out to do this well.
4
Oct 11 2024
Mask
Bauhaus
More like Boo-haus.
2
Oct 14 2024
The Wall
Pink Floyd
There are some really cool songs on here but they are sandwiched in between a bunch of weird pretentious nonsense that I donāt have time for. The good songs are almost enough to make up for this album being firmly in Tommy territory. Which is quite an achievement because Tommy sucks.
4
Oct 15 2024
Sign 'O' The Times
Prince
Cons: (1) This is not just a double album, but a āguess what kind of song I can make? all of themā double album; (2) this is Prince just past his prime; (3) too much messing around with cool new toys in the studio and not enough of a central theme (4) Prince rapping.
Pros: the worst music by Prince is better than the best music made by your dork-ass favorite band. Fuck you. This is a fucking Prince album.
3
Oct 16 2024
If You Can Believe Your Eyes & Ears
The Mamas & The Papas
This is just one of a million different lame mid-sixties folk groups that happened to hit it big by tie dyeing their beatnik wear and hiring the Wrecking Crew to play super dumbed down easy listening electrified folk rock behind them. This is just slightly less lame Sonny & Cher. The only counterpoint to that is the fact that "California Dreamin'" and "Monday, Monday" are undeniably great songs.
2
Oct 17 2024
Clandestino
Manu Chao
This wasnāt bad. I want to be exposed to albums I havenāt heard before and this album meets that criteria. I liked āBongo Bongā quite a bit. Not really my thing overall, but Iām glad to have heard it.
However, the guy looks like the drummer from Blink-182 if he lost a bet that required him to wear the stupidest clothes in the world.
3
Oct 18 2024
Unhalfbricking
Fairport Convention
The magic of The Basement Tapes is that itās just singers and players playing around. Thereās no artifice and no attempt at commerciality. Itās the tradition of everyone who plays an instrument in any human settlement, whether they are any good or not, gathering together on a front porch or around a fire and playing - playing in every sense of the word. And that is why The Basement Tapes of one of the best albums of all time, because it captures that feeling.
This album covers a song from The Basement Tapes, but doesnāt capture that feeling on that cover. But it does on āSi Tu Dois Patirā. That sounds like people just playing for the love of making music together and connecting amongst themselves and their audience. Itās goofy and silly and loose and fun and everything The Basement Tapes does right.
āSi Tu Dois Patirā is the clear stand out on this album. The rest is okay folky stuff, but nothing to write home about. Everything else on the album, Richard Thompson would go on to do better on his three albums as Richard and Linda Thompson. But āSi Tu Dois Patirā is worth the price of admission.
3
Oct 21 2024
Sheer Heart Attack
Queen
I have never been a big Queen fan. Iāve always known and liked most of the hits but have found their albums to be a bit of a mixed bag. I bought a rock and roll album guys. Iām not looking to listen to banjo, barbershop, riverboat, the frog from the WB music. I guess Queenās willingness to experiment is what makes them great but when those experiments miss, they miss pretty big and I end up wishing that I was just listening to their greatest hits.
3
Oct 22 2024
Fulfillingness' First Finale
Stevie Wonder
This might be my least favorite of Stevieās classic Talking-Book-through-Songs-in-the-Key-of-Life album run. Being my least favorite of those four albums still puts it in my favorite 100 or so albums of all time. Good lord, the man just could not miss for an entire decade. Superhuman.
4
Oct 23 2024
McCartney
Paul McCartney
Cocky fucker thought he could just toss off some half-baked song sketches and it would still be great because he was such a genius. Got too big for your britches there Macca! Maybe those other three blokes were bringing something to the table, huh?
These are perfectly fine demos, and well they should be because they were made by one of the greatest songwriters and performers of all time, but they are still just demos. If he had taken these into the studio with some other talented people then they could have worked on them and maybe gotten two or three album-worthy songs out of them. But instead he just released them. How contemptuous of his audience and what a waste of his talent. Lazy and hubristic, Mr. McCartney. Lazy and hubristic.
3
Oct 24 2024
Like Water For Chocolate
Common
This sounds dated even for being 24 years old. Some of the beats are decent but the raps are boring and corny. I also disapprove of him fighting John Wick.
2
Oct 25 2024
Brilliant Corners
Thelonious Monk
I donāt get jazz but occasionally I enjoy some of it. I did not enjoy this at all.
2
Oct 28 2024
The World is a Ghetto
War
I really only knew War from āLow Riderā and āSpill the Wineā for most of my life but I picked this album up at Goodwill for a dollar a couple of years ago and absolutely fell in love with it. Between being a big fan of this album and Santanaās first four albums, I think I may just really like when Latin rhythms are infused in rock. I should probably explore that more.
Itās crazy that this was one of the best-selling albums of 1973. I mean, itās great, but itās not particularly commercial. Three of the six songs are over 8 minutes long. I'm surprised it was that popular and also that its popularity hasnāt really endured while other artists who had giant selling albums in 1973 like Led Zeppelinās and Pink Floydās and Elton Johnās has.
In looking at the list of best-selling albums of 1973, I think pre-disco 70ās might be my favorite era of music. Barring Seals and Croft, thereās not really a bad album in the bunch. What an amazing time in music. And this album is a worthy addition to that list.
4
Oct 29 2024
Vol. 4
Black Sabbath
I hate heavy metal but donāt dislike Black Sabbath albums, the inventors of heavy metal. I really do contain multitudes.
3
Oct 30 2024
What's That Noise?
Coldcut
I enjoyed this album. It had that old school 80ās sound mixed with house and techno. This was fun and I would happily listen to it again. My only note is that it was twice as long as it really needed to be.
3
Oct 31 2024
OK
Talvin Singh
āWhat should we add to our super-generic electronic music?ā āUh, super-generic Indian music?ā āYouāve done it again at Talvin Singh!ā Or possibly for the first time because I have no idea who you are and will almost assuredly never think of you again after today. This album sold 60,000 copies and has been all but forgotten for decades. This is the absolute polar opposite of an album you must hear before you die. Was it terrible? No. Did it add to my life in any way to have listened to it? Also no.
2
Nov 01 2024
Phaedra
Tangerine Dream
I think that if I hadnāt watched āThiefā, I wouldnāt get Tangerine Dream. Something about hearing their music playing while watching Michael Mannās visuals of a car driving through a rainy, foreboding city at night and watching Jimmy Caan crack a safe just made what they were going for click for me and Iāve been a fan ever since. Not the right music for every situation, but in the right situation they are the perfect music.
3
Nov 04 2024
Cloud Nine
The Temptations
First half was funky and cool. Second half was second rate Motown leftovers. An album worth hearing though.
3
Nov 05 2024
Tracy Chapman
Tracy Chapman
I owned this on CD in the 90ās and loved it. Listening to it in 2024, it doesnāt hit me quite as hard. The album never matches the greatness of its standout song but that isnāt much of a criticism. The rest of the songs are still mostly good and this album is clearly worth hearing.
3
Nov 06 2024
The Man Who
Travis
10% Radiohead, 60% Coldplay, 30% Matchbox Twenty; 100% forgettable lame ass pop rock bullshit.
2
Nov 07 2024
Ogden's Nut Gone Flake
Small Faces
That was pretty decent. I liked the first half better than when the way too British guy started being way too British.
3
Nov 08 2024
Crazysexycool
TLC
TLC were probably the worldās best pop stars at this time, but even the greatest of pop stars donāt make great albums. Because they donāt make albums at all. They make singles. And the singles here are incredible, but the rest of this is filler. I donāt blame TLC for that. That is just what pop stars do.
I am going to rank this fairly highly on the strength of āCreepā and āWaterfallsā and āDigginā on Youā but honestly this deserves no stars as an album because thatās not really what it is.
3
Nov 11 2024
Born In The U.S.A.
Bruce Springsteen
I love that Bruce was just like, āIām super sad all the time about everything. Guess Iāll make some garage rock pop songs that everybody can dance to.ā The 80ās production is a bit much at times, but overall this album is pretty amazing. Not my favorite Bruce album, but undeniable in terms of quality and cultural impact.
4
Nov 12 2024
1999
Prince
āI just donāt get Prince.ā Son, you donāt get life.
4
Nov 13 2024
People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm
A Tribe Called Quest
Itās Spring of 1994 and youāre 19 years old. 9/11 is 7 years away. The Great Recession hasnāt hit yet and so you are studying English at a small liberal arts college just to become an educated person and you figure a career will take care of itself, if you think about life after college at all. But thinking about making a living isnāt really done because youāre a slacker and youāre alternative and you hate the man. Youāre no sell out. Youāre no poser. There is no internet, or if there is itās a weird niche thing that most people donāt pay much attention to. You and your bros are wearing bucket hats and playing hacky sack on the quad or Golden Eye on your roommateās N64. The sun is shining. Youāve been talking to this girl who you think might be at the party youāre going to tonight. Maybe youāre drinking Natty Light. Maybe you smoked a bowl of shwag that you had to pick the stems and seeds out of for three minutes before you packed it. Maybe youāre smoking a Camel Light. This CD is playing out of a boombox and you and your friends are laughing and singing along and acting goofy and you have no idea how good you have it. You have no fucking idea.
3
Nov 14 2024
Dig Me Out
Sleater-Kinney
I was an angry young man in the 90ās who had a brief tolerance for abrasive screechy music. But I was always a soft boy at heart. I had liked poppy-nice-sounding-with-maybe-a-little-bit-of-rock-&-roll music up until that point in my life and Iāve liked poppy-nice-sounding-with-maybe-a-little-bit-of-rock-&-roll music since then. But if you made loud angry abrasive rock in the 90ās, you might have caught me at just the right time and nostalgia may make it to where I still enjoy your music a bit even now when Iām old and soft as tissue paper. See Youth, Sonic. But I did not listen to Sleater-Kinney in the 90ās and have zero nostalgia for this and therefore it is very much not my jam. Itās too loud, too angry, too harsh and too screechy. Sleater-Kinney would go on to make an album in 2015 that I liked some of the tracks off of, especially the slow quiet one. But this album isnāt really doing it for me.
2
Nov 15 2024
The Colour Of Spring
Talk Talk
I canāt figure out what these guys are going for but whatever it is, it isnāt for me.
2
Nov 18 2024
Beggars Banquet
The Rolling Stones
Iām glad the Rolling Stones stopped with the psychedelic garbage and became The Rolling Stones⢠but I donāt think we needed the album when they first made that pivot on this list because this is mostly just okay. That being said, any album with āSympathy for the Devilā and āStreet Fighting Manā on it is probably better than most other albums, no matter how uninspiring the other eight songs are.
3
Nov 19 2024
The Stranger
Billy Joel
Billy Joelās two-disc Greatest Hits was one of the first CDs I ever really loved. All these years later, I still enjoy singing along to āScenes from an Italian Restaurantā when it comes on the radio. Billy Joel was never, and will never be, cool. That may be what I like best about him.
4
Nov 20 2024
Highly Evolved
The Vines
So rock critics wanted to take popular music back from whoever had the kidsā ears in 2002 and needed a band to use as an example of how ārock is backā and this was the best they could do? I bet whatever song from this band was used in an iPod commercial sounded great.
3
Nov 21 2024
Lady Soul
Aretha Franklin
An amazing singer and performer at the top of her game, the best session players in the world at that time who had the sound of the moment, solid songwriting and choices of covers, and the genius to limit your album to ten songs and thirty minutes. Everything about this album was done right. An absolute masterpiece.
5
Nov 22 2024
Sincere
Mj Cole
*British phone ringing sound* āToodle-oo, RobDi hereā āRobbo, itās Nigie. Just wanted to make sure youāre submitting the manuscript for the 1001 album book to the publisher by the end of the dayā āNige darling, youāre talking to Robert āNever Misses a Deadlineā Dimery. Iām just dotting a few iās and crossing some tās. Iāll have it to them by 5 and meet you for a pint at the local by 5:30.ā āYouāre the best Roberto! See you then.ā
Shit! Shit! SHIT!! Why do I always do this?! What is wrong with me?! I forgot I had agreed to do this stupid fucking book. What even is this? ā1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Dieā? What the hell? Bit morbid, that. Okay, fuck, I can do this. Letās see, Google ābest album listsā. āRolling Stoneās 500 Best Albumsā. Ha! Great. Halfway there. Alright, next link is ā100 Best 60ās Psychedlic Albumsā. Okay, a bit odd, but that works. Next is ā200 Best British New Wave Albumsā. Perfect. Then we have ā250 Brit Pop Albums You May Rememberā Jolly good. Alright, weāre at 1200. Eliminate doubles, and Shit! Back to 800. Oh fuck, itās 4:50pm. Fuck!
Okay, desperate times and all that. Letās search āBritish album charts: 1980 to presentā. Bugger, the ones in the top ten are probably already on here. Okay, Iāll just copy and paste the 14th biggest album from 201 random weeks, wow I have never heard of any of this shit, oh well, itāll just seem like I did a deep dive into obscure hidden gems of albums, and . . . Robert, lad, youāve done it again! Send. Whew. That was bad even for me. Hopefully nobody ever pays too much attention to this book.
Also, I hope that I didnāt pick some completely generic techno album with nothing unique or interesting about it whatsoever. Ah, Iām sure itās fine!
2
Nov 25 2024
(What's The Story) Morning Glory
Oasis
I can completely hear how this is a solid album that captured its moment perfectly. Oasis took Brit pop and mixed in a little grunge, turned down the synths, added a hint of pub rock, and recorded a totally solid album that connected with millions of people. But Iām not one of them and Iām not totally sure why. I donāt dislike them at all and honestly think I should like them more, but for some reason they just donāt connect with me. Anyway, hereās Wonderwall (I hope Iām the first to make that reference š¤š»).
3
Nov 26 2024
After The Gold Rush
Neil Young
This is a very good album, and Young would go on to record a truly great one two years later. Sad cranky Canadian hippie country guitar rock. Whatās not to like?
4
Nov 27 2024
The Libertines
The Libertines
I was not familiar with this album, but itās not bad. Garage rock revival with a little bit of The Smiths thrown in. Pretty decent.
3
Nov 28 2024
Slippery When Wet
Bon Jovi
There are so many awful people on this list: Nazis, incest committers, sexual assaulters, and more pedophiles than you can shake a stick at. And then there is Jon Bon Jovi. I am sure he has done plenty of terrible things, and his involvement in professional and semi-professional sports definitely makes me think he might be a bad person, but he has also been married to his high school sweetheart for forty years, campaigns for Democratic candidates, has given millions to charity, works in soup kitchens, and even talked someone off a bridge and prevented their suicide. Great right? No. I am sorry if this makes me a hipster, but this sucks. This is music for children. This is just what you listen to after "Baby Shark" and before real music. I am glad that Mr. Bon Jovi is out there doing good, and it is much appreciated, but if I never hear another one of his songs again, my life would be improved.
2
Nov 29 2024
Searching For The Young Soul Rebels
Dexys Midnight Runners
I have tried to get into this band before - beyond their one hit - but the singerās voice is always a pretty difficult obstacle to overcome. I like a rock band with a brass section and enjoyed this album but the vocals kept me from enjoying more.
3
Dec 02 2024
Frank
Amy Winehouse
A nineteen year old Brit doing the cliched female jazz singer voice š. The music is okay, but Macy Gray had given me all of this I needed long before Amy Winehouse came along.
2
Dec 03 2024
The Dark Side Of The Moon
Pink Floyd
The greatest prog rock record of all time. This is what a rock album should be. Not just a collection of songs but one cohesive whole.
I love it when weirdos either decide to, or are forced to, try to make something normal. When weirdos are allowed to be as weird as they want, they make stuff thatās too weird. When normies try to make normal stuff, itās boring. But when weirdos operate in the box of normality, thatās when true greatness can happen.
This album is just weird enough to be interesting but not so weird that it becomes unlistenable. Thatās the sweet spot.
5
Dec 04 2024
Second Toughest In The Infants
Underworld
I love how unpredictable techno is. Like, is it going to go āuncha uncha uncha unchaā or āuncha uncha uncha unchā?! The possibilities are . . . those two.
2
Dec 05 2024
Smile
Brian Wilson
I donāt get it. Why are you having me listen to an album of childrenās music? Iām a grown up.
3
Dec 06 2024
Aha Shake Heartbreak
Kings of Leon
Bland, generic, boring bro-rock.
2
Dec 09 2024
Californication
Red Hot Chili Peppers
From the Reddit thread linked in this article: https://www.smackmedia.ca/news/rhcp-assaults-problematic-industry
Early in their career, Flea allegedly asked a 13-year-old if she was backstage āto give all of [them] head.ā
In Scar Tissue, Kiedisā 2004 autobiography, he admits to having sex with a 14-year-old girl. Kiedis wrote āCatholic School Girls Ruleā about her. The song was most recently performed in 2007.
He also admits that he began dating Ione Skye a few days before her 16th birthday. Within a few months, they moved in together. While driving to rehab, he drove erratically and frightened Ione. He describes his behavior in their relationship as āemotional terrorism.ā
In Japan, he said that he had sex with someone after āabout five hours of nonstop subtle loving coercion.ā He had sex with Jaime Rishar when she was 17. Also, the book has a topless photo of Ione that might have been taken before she was eighteen.
On April 21, 1989, Kiedis allegedly touched a womanās face with his penis after a concert. The band also allegedly stole her car. Kiedis said that it was "blown way out of proportion by both the media and the prosecution. It was a playful thing that happened backstage -- there was never any harmful intention. Speaking for my band and myself, we're all very friendly people who would never want to hurt anybody or make people uncomfortable."
In May 1990, Flea and Smith were arrested after grabbing a fan while taping a Spring Break segment for Club MTV. Flea picked up a female fan and placed her over his shoulders. Smith pulled down the womanās bathing suit bottoms and began spanking her. The woman fell, and Flea knelt on top of her and demanded she perform oral sex on him. According to police she was bruised. Flea was charged with battery, disorderly conduct, and solicitation to commit an unnatural and lascivious act. Smith was charged with battery. They plead guilty and were each required to pay $5,000 to a rape crisis center.
The band discussed the incident in an interview with Rolling Stone. Flea said that it was wrong of him to yell at the woman, but that he ādid not assault anybody, and it was not sexual. It had nothing to do with sex.ā Smith said that, while he was not trying to avoid blame, they were trying to make an example of them. āThe way it came out was that it was a real malicious thing, that we tried to beat this girl up.ā
Julie Farman was sexually harassed by two members of the band in 1991. She went into a storage room with two members of the band, who pressed up against her and ātold [her] about all of the ways [they] could make a super sexy sandwich.ā She was an executive at Epic Records. While the band was never signed to Epic Records, they were attempting to negotiate a contract with the label at the time.
1
Dec 10 2024
Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea
PJ Harvey
I tried to get into this when it came out and it never really clicked for me. Listening to it again, I feel the same way. I have no problem with PJ Harvey but she just doesnāt click with me for whatever reason.
2
Dec 11 2024
The Idiot
Iggy Pop
It must be very gratifying when the person youāve been copying for years gets so bad with the drugs that he has to start copying you copying the people you started copying after you stopped copying him. Good for David Bowie.
2
Dec 12 2024
Back to Mystery City
Hanoi Rocks
Itās ironic that the band that invented glam metal knew that the genre was a joke and treated it as such, but all the bands that came along and copied them were too dumb to realize that wearing wigs and eye liner and screeching over screechy guitars makes you a clown, not a cool tough rock god.
3
Dec 13 2024
The College Dropout
Kanye West
āIām not going to support this Nazi by listening to his music. I mean, Iāll listen to all the other Nazis, pedophiles, rapists, abusers, and general pieces of shit on this list, but not this particular one. Arenāt I enlightened?ā - y'all stupid motherfuckers.
Fuck y'all. Kanye West has gone insane as many geniuses do but this is a great album. The beats are solid, the subject matter goes beyond the stupid gangsta cliches rappers constantly spout, and itās actually funny pretty much throughout. But enjoy being morally pure by not listening to this and maybe spin some RHCP instead.
3
Jan 06 2025
Blue Lines
Massive Attack
Great album, invented a genre, etc.
Itās funny that people say one of these guys is Banksy because I can see it. Banksy is the very definition of r/Im14andthisisdeep but I also kind of like Banksy despite that, and the same with Massive Attackās lyrics. They are pretty cringe at times - not to mention the inherent cringe of British people rapping - but I fully give them a pass because they are cool despite how dorky they are. Maybe itās just cringe amnesty for being from the early 90ās.
4
Jan 07 2025
Moving Pictures
Rush
This isnāt really prog and it isnāt really hard rock. This album is its own thing because Rush is its own thing. Rush is weird and nerdy and lame and cool and awful and amazing and pretentious and Libertarian and Canadian and beautiful and exciting and boring all at the same time. Rush is too complex to label. Every time you experience Rush, the band is something different depending of who you are at that moment.
This isnāt my favorite Rush album but I still cannot deny what it is. I may like Da Vinciās designs for a helicopter better than the Mona Lisa, but that doesnāt mean Iām going to say the Mona Lisa sucks. This album is Rushās Mona Lisa.
4
Jan 08 2025
Woodface
Crowded House
Pros: (1) kind of sounds like Squeeze (apparently Squeeze didnāt make the book! Dimery, you slimey limey, how many times are you going to fuck up?!); (2) has some decent songs on it.
Cons: (1) boring and (2) goes on way too long.
All things considered, eh. https://giphy.com/gifs/latenightseth-seth-meyers-lnsm-8Fc0E0rNGI1xSSqBTZ
3
Jan 09 2025
Let's Stay Together
Al Green
There is a scene in a Simpsons episode where a Christian music artist is describing switching from Christian music to pop and she says that basically all you have to do is switch āJesusā for ābabyā in the lyrics and youāre most of the way there. I canāt fault Al Green as a performer because heās great, and heās certainly not the first or the last to take gospel music and change āJesusā to ābabyā (or āreligionā to ālovinā) but man is it blatant. Still, amazing singing, infectious grooves, an incredible album.
4
Jan 10 2025
Life Thru A Lens
Robbie Williams
These types of albums happen occasionally. This is a boy band memberās solo record attempting to be the one member who gets to escape the sinking ship of nostalgia tours and āWhere are They Now?ā episodes. Weāve all agreed that there can be only one and this was this guyās bid to be it from his boy band. This is just the British āJustifiedā.
I could see including this album on a list of the 1001 albums you must hear before you die if (1) I was British š¬ and (2) was of a certain age where this became a phenomenon in the very small place I was from while I was plugged into that placeās popular culture. Oh sorry, I left off (3) if I was a fucking moron and made no effort whatsoever to make an actual list of important and quality records and was deaf and was the stupidest person alive.
That was an important one.
2
Jan 13 2025
Bat Out Of Hell
Meat Loaf
If we were going to have to listen to a musical soundtrack I would have preferred āAnnieā.
1
Jan 14 2025
Buena Vista Social Club
Buena Vista Social Club
I borrowed this album from the public library on CD in the early 2000ās because I remembered that at the time it came out it was all the rage but I hadnāt listened to it. I got super into it back then for a couple of months but hadnāt listened to it more than a handful of times over the last couple of decades. But then my mother-in-law got it for me on vinyl recently (shout out T-Money) and while I was happy to have a physical copy of an album that I had fond memories of, I havenāt enjoyed it as much as I remembered doing 20 years or so ago. I still like it, but not as much as I remembered.
I get being pissed off that it was NPR- listenersā āworld musicā fad of the moment but thatās not these guysā fault. The songs are pretty and fun to listen to. They also evoke a time and place that I can never visit but that seems super cool. This music is really good and worth listening to even if your hippie art teacher played this and danced around embarrassingly.
4
Jan 15 2025
Rid Of Me
PJ Harvey
I wonder if any artist who was about to make an album of harsh, discordant, unpleasant-sounding music ever thought to themself, āHey, maybe instead of doing that, why donāt I try to make an album that people might actually want to listen to?ā.
2
Jan 16 2025
Stankonia
OutKast
This isnāt my favorite OutKast album but it is still an incredible, undeniable monster of a record. āBombs Over Baghdadā is one of my all time favorite songs. It was also cool living through the time when this album absolutely owned popular culture. And it couldnāt have happened to two more talented performers. OutKast is as good as hip-hop gets and amongst the best of pop music generally. This album is funny, smart, catchy; basically everything you could want out of a record. This would get full marks from me if it was a single album rather than a double.
4
Jan 17 2025
Devil Without A Cause
Kid Rock
Kid Rock is like if Woodstock ā99 was a person. This is music for young, straight, white men who are really angry that they arenāt allowed to beat up women and minorities like their grandfathers were able to. Iām embarrassed that this is on this list and to have listened to it.
1
Jan 20 2025
Raising Hell
Run-D.M.C.
Old school hip hop always surprises me as to how fun it is. This sounds like Run-DMC were having fun when they recorded it and I know I had fun listening to it. I hate that feeling got lost somewhere along the way.
The only real negative about this album - other than the fact that people just hadnāt quite figured out rapping yet at this time - is that it is front-loaded. The quality of the songs drops off with āPerfectionā and never rises to the level of the first half of the album. Thatās pretty minor though. This is a really strong album and Iām glad to have heard it.
3
Jan 21 2025
American IV: The Man Comes Around
Johnny Cash
Artist: *releases an album, then dies*
Robert Dimery: āThis must be heard!ā
I like some of these songs. I just like the versions sung at a decent tempo by someone who doesnāt sound like a wheezing bullfrog. Being about to die doesnāt give you depth or introspection. It just means that youāre not very good at making music because youāre 70% dead. This album sucks and āHurtā is just edgelord-bait.
2
Jan 22 2025
Come Find Yourself
Fun Lovin' Criminals
Some things are dumb and fun. This is just dumb.
2
Jan 23 2025
Live At Leeds
The Who
I have heard this described as the greatest live album of all time. Apparently this really blew people away when it came out, but I donāt get it. Itās pretty good. Rocks pretty hard, I suppose, but nothing life changing. A totally decent live album by a totally decent band.
3
Jan 24 2025
Licensed To Ill
Beastie Boys
Well, well, well, if it isnāt Run-DMCās young white avatars. This is half a Rick Rubin album and half a Weird Al parody of 80ās rap. This shouldnāt have been anything more than a novelty album but this is the world we live in I guess. I kind of hate that I like this but I canāt really help it. This is too fun not to like.
3
Jan 27 2025
Eagles
Eagles
As much as I love a "Big Lebowski" quote, I am going to try to give my actual thoughts on this album. Growing up, my options for radio stations were country, R&B and classic rock. The small city whose radio stations reached the small town I lived in the country next to got an alternative station in the 90's but that was pretty late in the game for me. So, I ended up listening to classic rock radio in the American South for most of my young adulthood, and other than 70's Southern Rock, bland popular country-tinged folk rock was right in line with what the station thought its listeners wanted to hear. Every fifth song, constantly, every day, all the time.
Itās not really that the Eagles are bad (I mean, they are kind of bad), itās that the gulf between their quality and their popularity is about as vast as any in popular music. I like country and folk-flavored rock. I like the Flying Burrito Brothers, the Byrds, CSN&Y, CCR, and a ton of 90's alt-country bands that owe a lot to the 70's country/folk rock scene. I think that if the Eagles Greatest Hits wasn't the best selling album of all time that I would like them just as much as I do those other 70's country/folk-rock bands. But instead I grew up listening to three of the songs on this album multiple times a day, every day, for years. And they arenāt bad songs. But they are also not songs so good that you want to listen to them multiple times a day, every day, for years. And as a consequence of having these pretty-okay-but-not-that-great songs shoved down my throat for most of my young adulthood, I kind of hate the fuckin' Eagles, man.
3
Jan 28 2025
Lost In The Dream
The War On Drugs
Both this album, and the individual songs on this album, are too long. If something was going to happen in these songs, it would have happened within 3 minutes or so, but nothing ever does. These songs are the equivalent of sitting in a dentistās waiting room. And when someone lets out a weird high-pitched āWHOow!!ā in a dentistās waiting room, it doesnāt make me think that the dentistās waiting room is exciting, it just makes me think the guy yelling is nuts.
3
Jan 29 2025
Talking Timbuktu
Ali Farka TourƩ
This wasnāt bad. I liked the playing better than the singing. But all in all this was pretty cool.
3
Jan 30 2025
Metal Box
Public Image Ltd.
I hate John Lydon and I hate post-punk and I hate long songs, but this honestly wasnāt too bad. Kind of droning and trancy. It helps if you only kind of halfway listen to it. The singing is really the worst part. The playing is also bad but not as bad as the singing. This is pretty bad.
2
Jan 31 2025
Queen II
Queen
How could you not listen to a Queen album containing such hits as . . . uh . . . well thereās um . . . wait does that say āogre battleā? What the fuck is this?
Like, I guess it is kind of cool that this is an album from a band that you can hear figuring stuff out that they would later go on to incorporate into better songs, but why not just listen to the albums with those better songs on it instead?
Some of this is okay but some of this sounds like Meatloaf.
3
Feb 03 2025
Sticky Fingers
The Rolling Stones
My favorite album of all time is āExile on Mainstreetā and my love for that album bleeds over into an affection for this whole Stones era, even though Iām not a big Rolling Stones fan. Their song āTorn and Frayedā was such an apt way to describe the band at this time. Brian Jones - the heart of the first iteration of the band - was dead. They had been the biggest rock & roll band in the world for a decade but were flat broke. They had arguably just killed someone and maybe killed the peace and love dream of the 60ās as a whole. Half of them were hooked on hard drugs and the other half were drunk. They were wearing blousy shirts, sleeping all day and staying up all night and living in castles. And you know who does that? Vampires. They were just a bunch of drug-addicted vampires waving guns at Frenchmen and stealing other peopleās music. It was a wild time for The Rolling Stones and Iām glad to be able to hear what came out of it.
4
Feb 04 2025
On The Beach
Neil Young
This album had some cool parts but those cool parts never came together to make particularly good songs. Neil Young has some good albums but this isnāt one of them.
3
Feb 05 2025
Lost Souls
Doves
Bland, generic early-2000ās British āindieā ārockā of absolutely no import or significance. This list is a joke.
2
Feb 06 2025
The Fat Of The Land
The Prodigy
We rocked so hard in the 90ās that we had to have actual sword fights going on in our techno songs just to feel something. Over forty fully trained adult ninjas died to make āBreatheā. And it was worth it.
3
Feb 07 2025
Psychocandy
The Jesus And Mary Chain
I like straight ahead wall of sound 1950ās girl group inspired pop. I dislike distorted fuzzy shoegazey noise. So I am torn when it comes to this album. I like the poppy parts and dislike the noisy parts. However, Iāve had this album recommended to me for years so Iām glad I finally actually listened to it.
3
Feb 10 2025
At Newport 1960
Muddy Waters
The whole album is just a build up to āIāve Got My Mojo Workingā and he hits that song and just goes off. Then he plays it again and you still arenāt tired of it. Blues can be formulaic and samey but Iām glad this performance was captured on tape because it was something special.
In fact, listening to this live album makes me wonder if I - and obviously all of you cause youāre a bunch of idiots - have been wrong about the blues all along. Maybe itās not formulaic and samey, maybe weāre just experiencing it the wrong way. The songs donāt have variety because they are all parts of a whole, which is the performance. We are no more meant to listen to a single blues song on tape at our work desk than weāre meant to read Shakespeare in a classroom. These things are meant to be experienced live. We are meant to attend a performance by this artist where he builds and builds and builds from song to song and lures us into a sense of regularity and then explodes and blows everyone away.
Also, hearing Muddy Waters sing about mojo the way itās meant to be sung makes me want to slap Jim Morrison in his stupid hippie face.
4
Feb 11 2025
Electric Warrior
T. Rex
This sounds like Thin Lizzy or The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I think lots of people like this kind of thing but I donāt get it. I guess the Baby Boomers stopped caring about peace and love and spiritual enlightenment and just wanted to be gender fluid and get laid and snort cocaine and later start disco dancing? This is better than Donovan et al but it doesnāt really click for me.
3
Feb 12 2025
Peter Gabriel 3
Peter Gabriel
The Invention of Art-Pop: a play in one act.
Artist: I donāt feel like going to all the trouble of making a good record. Thatās too much work!
Producer: Itās cool baby. Just make an okay record but make it a little weird and pretentious. It wonāt sell as well as a good record, but the kids who want to think that theyāre smart will buy it, so the sales will be decent.
Artist: Hooray! *grabs bongo drums and/or didgeridoo*
Scene.
3
Feb 13 2025
Garbage
Garbage
There were a lot of interesting things happening in music in the 90ās. Hereās an album of soulless manufactured copies of some of those interesting things.
2
Feb 14 2025
The Nightfly
Donald Fagen
I love Steely Dan but the best song on this album would be the sixth best song on Katy Lied or Pretzel Logic. Iāll take all the Dan I can get but this just isnāt doing it for me.
3
Feb 17 2025
Deja Vu
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
āTeach Your Childrenā and āOur Houseā are the type of songs that youāve heard so many times that you canāt really have an opinion on them. I mean, do you like or dislike āJingle Bellsā or āAmerica the Beautifulā or are they just part of your musical DNA that is too deeply embedded to have an opinion on? In addition to those two ātoo big to like or dislikeā songs, āCarry Onā, āHelplessā, āWoodstockā and āDeja Vuā are all good. This is an impressive album. I donāt play it often but I do like it.
4
Feb 18 2025
Moon Safari
Air
In my opinion, this album is the best downtempo electronica ever made. Maybe youāre not in the mood for downtempo electronica or maybe downtempo electronica just isnāt for you. But, if you are ever in a place and time where youāre in the mood for this type of music, this is as good as it gets. An absolute classic of an album.
5
Feb 19 2025
Signing Off
UB40
Today I learned that the awful 1980's British reggae band that did āRed Red Wineā released a really cool debut album that was super political, dub heavy, staunchly anti-Thatcherite and recorded under the most DIY conditions imaginable. These are the types of discoveries that keep me doing this project.
3
Feb 20 2025
Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle
Bill Callahan
I had to make sure that this wasnāt the guy from a fuzzy noisy 90ās band that then went on to make deep-voiced singer-songwriter albums that 2010ās-era Pitchfork tried to convince me were good but that I just donāt get who was credibly accused of being a sex pest. But thatās Mark Kozelek. So weāre good. But this album isnāt.
2
Feb 21 2025
Vento De Maio
Elis Regina
Apparently this is a compilation made up of songs from two different albums, "Elis" from 1980, and one song from the 1979 album "Essa Mulher". Most of this sounds very late-70's/early-80's to me. Tiro Ao Ćlvaro is okay. I don't particularly enjoy her voice and the music is not that compelling either. I could have lived without hearing this.
3
Feb 24 2025
Metallica
Metallica
You hate this album because itās too different from the earlier Metallica albums that you like. I hate this album because itās too similar to the earlier Metallica albums that I also hate. We are not the same. Also, Iāve read a book before in my life. Which, I have to assume that as you are a Metallica fan is another way in which we differ.
2
Feb 25 2025
The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Lauryn Hill
The good songs are very good. The rest is filler, the skits are boring and the album goes on WAAAYYYY too long. I think this album is overhyped by people who want to like it more than they actually like it.
3
Feb 26 2025
I'm Your Man
Leonard Cohen
āWah wah 80ās production ⦠wah wah background singers ⦠wah wah Casio keyboardā. Man, why donāt you shove a Casio keyboard up your ass and shut the fuck up. This is where Leonard Cohen was at in 1988 and wherever Leonard Cohen happened to find himself at any particular moment in time is more interesting than anywhere your favorite artist has ever been in his sad misbegotten worthless life. What you need to understand is that Leonard Cohen was born like this, he had no choice. He was born with the gift of a golden voice.
4
Feb 27 2025
Floodland
Sisters Of Mercy
Thereās this scene in āItās a Wonderful Lifeā when George dances with Mary for the first time and a character played by the actor most famous for playing Alfalfa in The Little Rascals objects and George Bailey looks at him with anger and disdain and says āOh why donāt you stop annoying people.ā Itās on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/NBKqJHOC0JY?si=GITeWA4FCyrhHnI_. Every once in a while I will hear a song that causes me to look at the radio in disdain and say out loud āOh why donāt you stop annoying people.ā This whole album made me feel that way.
The album cover is hilarious though.
2
Feb 28 2025
Heroes to Zeros
The Beta Band
Being assigned albums like this bothers me more than being assigned albums I hate. I have no feelings about this album whatsoever. Itās fine. Iāve heard generic, early-to-mid-2000ās indie pop a million times before. This is just a meaningless, nothing of an album. No lasting influence; not remembered as being a step forward artistically; not commercially successful. Just a bland inconsequential generic British indie pop album that the dude who made this list happened to like when he was at the age of liking current bands. Listening to this album is pointless, stupid and a waste of time. Albums like this make me feel like doing this project is a waste of time as well.
3
Mar 03 2025
War
U2
Iām not opposed to bombast or pomposity. I like a lot of bombastic and pompous things. More than your average person, I expect. But I think that my tolerance for bombast and pomposity ends right before U2 begins.
3
Mar 04 2025
Violent Femmes
Violent Femmes
I guess when you love an album as much as I loved this one when I was 17, that love stays with you for life. Because this album hasnāt lost a step after 30 years in terms of my estimation. Easy five stars. Rarely can music just instantly put me in a good mood the way the Violent Femmes can. Not only does this album not have a bad track on it, Iām not entirely sure it has a less than perfect moment for all of its 36 minutes. A masterpiece.
5
Mar 05 2025
There's A Riot Goin' On
Sly & The Family Stone
I always think I should like Sly and the Family Stone more than I do, but they just never seem to click with me. I think the problems are that the singles are kind of cheesy and then that one singer does those high-pitched screams that I find off-putting. Put those together and it makes for a band that has just never done it for me. This album is okay and I like that it is less poppy than Stand! but it did not turn me around on the band.
3
Mar 06 2025
Live At The Star Club, Hamburg
Jerry Lee Lewis
I donāt like Jerry Lee Lewis or live albums but this was pretty great. I donāt care if it was basically just a Little Richard tribute act, that was live rock & roll at its best.
4
Mar 07 2025
Fear Of Music
Talking Heads
I like the Talking Heads quite a bit but this album did not do it for me.
3
Mar 10 2025
Debut
Bjƶrk
Not BjƤd.
4
Mar 11 2025
Disintegration
The Cure
Sorry Kyle Brovlosky (https://youtu.be/5G5YguuNSJg?si=-sMadHfyHLI9cv04), but while this album has some great songs on it, it also drones on forever with some sadsack nonsense that nobody has time for.
And if youāre going to sing about a spider monster that you freaked out about while tripping on goofballs you canāt call it āthe spiderman.ā There is already a Spider-Man and he doesnāt eat people. He is friendly and lives in a neighborhood.
4
Mar 12 2025
Strangeways, Here We Come
The Smiths
At one time in my life The Smiths were my favorite band and I still love them to this day. Everything bad people say about them is either people not being smart enough to understand what they were doing or, yeah, thatās just who they are. And I love them for most of that. One thing about who they are is that I think they were a singles band rather than an album band, and so none of their albums is as good as their two Best Of collections which I had as a teenager and wore out, lamenting how terrible life was rather than actually going outside and trying to make something out of it, which is a choice I fully stand by.
4
Mar 13 2025
Seventeen Seconds
The Cure
I had āDisintegrationā Monday, the Smiths on Tuesday and now this today. The album generator either thinks Iām a moody teenager or is trying to get me to kill myself (it makes sense that as soon as the machines have become sentient they would try to take me out. Iām the greatest warrior for humanity that has ever lived because Iām a cool dude and I like to party).
I used to think I didnāt like the Cure, then for the last decade or so I thought I liked them, and now this week has convinced me that I was right the first time and I donāt actually like the Cure. āThe Forestā was pretty good, but the rest of the album just kind of faded into the background and sounded vaguely the same. Not bad, but not good either.
3
Mar 14 2025
Now I Got Worry
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
I am clearly capable of making music that people would enjoy. Should I like, halfway do that, but then also halfway fill every song with abrasive noise that sounds terrible that any reasonable person would hate?
https://tenor.com/Jz5X.gif
2
Mar 17 2025
Different Class
Pulp
I enjoyed this album. I had heard āCommon Peopleā and āDisco 2000ā before but not the rest of it and itās pretty solid throughout. Can the vocals seem cheesy at times and the lyrical content be a bit gross? Sure. But I can forgive a lot when everything else going on works this well.
4
Mar 18 2025
It's Blitz!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I have heard the first two songs a bunch of times before but didn't know any of the others. Not bad. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have always been one of those bands that I kind of like and enjoy their singles but have never liked enough to listen to an entire album regularly. Listening to this one didn't move them out of that designation, but there are some pretty good songs on here and Iām glad to have heard it.
3
Mar 19 2025
Dusty In Memphis
Dusty Springfield
A schmaltzy British torch singer and TV presenter whose career is on the skids signs with a new label and goes to Memphis to try to emulate her idol, Aretha Franklin, recording songs by a random grab bag of writers, including Randy Newman, Carole King and Burt Bacharach. Why is it that things that really shouldnāt work seem to end up being the most sublime when they actually do? Because this weird nonsense is easily one of my favorite albums of all time. There is hardly a bad second on the entire record. Just sheer greatness from start to finish.
5
Mar 20 2025
Sulk
The Associates
This sounds like an Andrew Lloyd Webber version of the all puppet Dracula musical that the guy from āForgetting Sarah Marshallā was writing. Blah!
2
Mar 21 2025
The Message
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
When this hits it is an absolute blast but when it misses, it misses huge. The songs that work make the rest forgivable though. This is an album worth hearing.
3
Mar 24 2025
Green River
Creedence Clearwater Revival
I love CCRās loose, bar band, country-tinged sound. They get played to death on classic rock radio but they are good enough to still be fun to listen to despite that. Not every song on here works but most do. A great album.
4
Mar 25 2025
Blue
Joni Mitchell
Rarely has an artist been so bravely and completely herself the way Joni Mitchell is on this record and throughout her life really. She can do so much with sparse instrumentation, her voice and her writing.
Just before our love got lost you said
"I am as constant as a northern star"
And I said "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar."
I love the vivid picture and feeling she creates with her words and I love this album. But what do I know? Iām just a romantic, so Iām cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafĆ©.
5
Mar 26 2025
Justified
Justin Timberlake
The fact that this album sucks so much is going to ruin the tour. The WORLD TOUR.
1
Mar 27 2025
The ArchAndroid
Janelle MonƔe
I didnāt like her Knives Out movie, sheās associated with Diddy and Grimes, and she just seems like a lot. Androids and musicals and anime and just a whole bunch of lame weirdness that I donāt have the energy for. I donāt mind a gimmick if the songs are good but this was nothing but gimmick with no good songs.
2
Mar 28 2025
All Hail the Queen
Queen Latifah
Some styles of music can seem timeless and sound fresh decades after release, but listening to late 80ās rap feels equivalent to playing Oregon Trail on an Apple II. This album makes me feel like a musical archeologist. This is what this style of music sounded like then, but not what it sounds like now, and the music itself is not good enough that how dated it sounds doesnāt matter. There is some rap from this time period that is still enjoyable despite it making me feel like Iām listening to Smithsonian recordings of Depression-era folk songs, but this isnāt it.
3
Mar 31 2025
Neon Bible
Arcade Fire
When your first album is as good as Funeral, even an album of diminishing returns is still going to be pretty good.
3
Apr 01 2025
Mothership Connection
Parliament
We were so close in 1975. We were right there. We are Orpheus and we had gone to hell and rescued our true love and were on the cusp of stepping out into the sunshine with her by our side. All people - no matter their race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, nationality - were all slowly and tentatively walking up the steps of the mothership, getting ready to join an intergalactic rainbow coalition of peace, love, fun and funk.
Parliament-Funkadelic were leaving us musical breadcrumbs leading us up to Nirvana. A future where everyone had enough and lived with all their brothers and sisters in harmony. We were RIGHT THERE!!!! And then we lost faith, started to fear and doubt, and turned back to look and make sure Eurydice was still there. Then the CIA pumped crack into our communities and we elected Reagan and started watching āLifestyles of the Rich and Famousā. And now weāre here.
Make my funk the p-funk. I want to get funked up.
5
Apr 02 2025
S.F. Sorrow
The Pretty Things
This is a British psychedelic rock opera. Things I donāt particularly like include psychedelic music, rock operas and the British. That being said, S.F. Sorrow isnāt that bad, despite the fact that it would likely be much improved if it were not psychedelic and was not a rock opera and if the people who made it were from a real country.
3
Apr 03 2025
Songs The Lord Taught Us
The Cramps
Iāve never really watched any of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies but there is like a family of grimy inbred hillbilly murderers in those movies, right? Well, I suppose if those guys got together with the California beach town vampires from The Lost Boys for a concert on Halloween and this band played then they would all have a really nice time. But I didnāt.
You know what I think it is that I donāt like about this and any spooky or spooky-adjacent music? Menace. I donāt like music or vocals that sound menacing. I find life in general plenty menacing. I donāt need any more menace than I get from youths walking by my car when Iām stopped at a redlight after 6pm. Sell menace somewhere else. Iām all stocked up.
2
Apr 04 2025
Djam Leelii
Baaba Maal
I had a very hard time with this the first two times I listened to it, and I still find the style of singing, or the tone the singer uses, grating, but by the third time through I started to get the hypnotic aspects of the album that other reviewers have mentioned. The vocals make it something I donāt plan for return to but all in all it was not an unpleasant listening experience.
3
Apr 07 2025
ĆgƦtis Byrjun
Sigur Rós
Nah dawg, youāre gonna have to miss me with the ten minute long songs in a made up language with titles ripped from the pages of the IKEA catalog.
3
Apr 08 2025
Arrival
ABBA
There are singles bands and album bands and - despite what rock snobs may believe - neither is superior to the other. They are just working in two different idioms. ABBA is a singles band and some of the singles on this collection of songs are as good as singles get. But that doesnāt make this an album.
That being said, ABBA rule. They are Swedish International Superstars.
3
Apr 09 2025
Mr. Tambourine Man
The Byrds
I like the Byrds. I am not opposed to jangle, in fact I enjoy it for the most part. Sweetheart of the Rodeo is one of my favorite albums. But I donāt get much out of this. Mr. Tambourine Man does not strike me as an album you must hear before you die. It is more like an album by a band that would go on to do much more interesting things later on.
3
Apr 10 2025
Strange Cargo III
William Orbit
generic electronic background music/random sounds
2
Apr 11 2025
Exit Planet Dust
The Chemical Brothers
This is pretty fun. A bit dated but still enjoyable.
3
Apr 14 2025
Green Onions
Booker T. & The MG's
I like Booker T. & The MG's; I like the title track; I like instrumental music featuring a funky organ - evidenced by the two Jimmy Smith records I own and play regularly - but this album just didnāt work for me. I wouldnāt call it bad, but itās one great iconic song and then 32 minutes of filler. Pretty decent filler, but filler just the same.
3
Apr 15 2025
Tea for the Tillerman
Cat Stevens
Cat Stevens is alright but 37 minutes of Cat Stevens in a row is too much. Listen to this album all the way through and then play any other song and that other song will sound like the best song youāve ever heard just because it isnāt a Cat Stevens song.
3
Apr 16 2025
High Violet
The National
Why are indie ārockersā incapable of making any fucking sense? Every other genre has songs that are about things. About dancing; about relationships; about drugs; about something. But not indie music. āYou and your sister live in a lemon world; I want to sit in and die.ā WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!???? Make sense! Itās not that hard. Sure, use poetic language to express yourself, but Jesus, express something other than āhere are some words maybe they mean something maybe not who knowsā. God I hate you Brooklyn hipster doofuses.
3
Apr 17 2025
Surfer Rosa
Pixies
If I hadnāt loved this album in the 90ās, Iād probably hate it now. But I was super into this album in the 90ās and so now when I hear Frank Black yelling and the guitars buzz-sawing, I donāt think āahh! stop all that terrible noise! youāre hurting my ears!ā like I do with a lot of the more discordant albums on this list. I think āGods I rocked hard thenā and my soft, quiet music-loving soul fills with joy at the fond memory of a hard-rocking past that probably never really existed. But even if I heard this album for the first time today, the fact that it has both "Gigantic" and "Where is My Mind?" on it would likely win me over despite the rest of the album being a bit too abrasive.
4
Apr 18 2025
American Idiot
Green Day
Ugh. The only thing worse than regular dumb-and-proud-of-it punk rock lyrics are dumb-but-trying-to-be-deep/political punk rock lyrics. Musically this is fine, but I got all of it that I wanted from Dookie. Wake me up when this album ends.
2
Apr 21 2025
Transformer
Lou Reed
āWalk on the Wild Sideā and āPerfect Dayā are great songs. The rest of this album sounds like demos for a musical about living in New York in the early 70ās that never got made because it was too precious even for musicals about living in New York in the early 70ās.
2
Apr 22 2025
With The Beatles
Beatles
How do you rate an album that almost every song youāve ever heard has somewhere in its DNA? I suppose the question has to be: would I put this on for pleasure, and I wouldnāt. It isnāt bad by any means, but it wouldnāt be the Beatles album I would choose to spin.
3
Apr 23 2025
The Renaissance
Q-Tip
This sounded really repetitive to me. Buh-buh-Buh-buh-Buh-buh-Buh-buh over and over again for 43 minutes. I have also never really cared for Q-Tipās voice, even though I cannot fault his lyricism. The samples werenāt bad but I did not find them to be woven together into a pleasing whole. All things considered, I doubt that I will listen to this album again.
3
Apr 24 2025
Back At The Chicken Shack
Jimmy Smith
I love this and āMidnight Specialā and play them both regularly. They are two of my favorite jazz records. Zero pretension, 100% fun. A great album.
4
Apr 25 2025
Clube Da Esquina
Milton Nascimento
This wasnāt bad. A cool blending a several different musical styles. But nothing about this really grabbed me or struck me as memorable.
3
Apr 28 2025
Synchronicity
The Police
The Police give off really strong U2 vibes to me. Same general time period and both from the UK. New-wavey, but also not. Pompous lead singers. Both bands that seem to be something I would like, but that I donāt particularly. This album isnāt bad (except for āMotherā - are you kidding me with this?!) but the Police just arenāt my cup of tea in the Sahara with you.
3
Apr 29 2025
Nevermind
Nirvana
Nirvana sucks: a mathematical proof.
{NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL} = TRUE.
{Most people are happy that NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL} = TRUE.
{Most people are happy that NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL because HAIR METAL sucks} = TRUE.
IF {Most people are happy that NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL because HAIR METAL sucks} = TRUE; THEN {HAIR METAL sucks} = TRUE.
{HAIR METAL fans liked HAIR METAL} = TRUE.
IF {HAIR METAL sucks} = TRUE; AND {HAIR METAL fans liked HAIR METAL} = TRUE; THEN {HAIR METAL fans like music that sucks} = TRUE.
{NEW BAND kills OLD GENRE by making fans of OLD GENRE abandon it} = TRUE.
{Fans of OLD GENRE abandon OLD GENRE because they like NEW BAND better than OLD GENRE} = TRUE.
IF {NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL} = TRUE; AND {NEW BAND kills OLD GENRE by making fans of OLD GENRE abandon it} = TRUE; AND {Fans of OLD GENRE abandon it because they like NEW BAND better than OLD GENRE} = TRUE; WHERE {NIRVANA} = {NEW BAND} AND {HAIR METAL} = {OLD GENRE}; THEN {NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL by making fans of HAIR METAL abandon it because they liked NIRVANA better than HAIR METAL} = TRUE.
IF {NIRVANA killed HAIR METAL by making fans of HAIR METAL abandon it because they liked NIRVANA better than HAIR METAL} = TRUE; THEN {HAIR METAL fans liked NIRVANA} = TRUE.
IF {HAIR METAL fans liked NIRVANA} = TRUE; AND {HAIR METAL fans like music that sucks} = TRUE; THEN {NIRVANA sucks} = TRUE.
{NIRVANA sucks} = TRUE.
3
Apr 30 2025
Cheap Thrills
Big Brother & The Holding Company
Bluesy, loose and fun. āPiece of My Heartā is far and away the strongest song, but itās fairly fun throughout.
3
May 01 2025
Fred Neil
Fred Neil
This guy didnāt want to be in the music business and just wanted to live at the beach and fuck dolphins and squeeze the heads of any passing children who got too close to his strong tanned arms. Shouldnāt we respect his wishes and let him leave the music business completely by not listening to his albums ever? Iām certainly going to.
2
May 02 2025
BEYONCĆ
BeyoncƩ
BeyoncĆ© fronts a team that makes very polished, fairly catchy, mostly forgettable music. I have nothing against her, but absent a few songs over her long career, I could not care less about anything she has ever done. I also feel like the majority of her fans are fans of her as a āyass queenā icon than as a musician. I could have lived without hearing this album.
2
May 05 2025
Tapestry
Carole King
Man, the Brill Building was bursting with talent at the time Carole King and Burt Bacharach and Neil Diamond and Paul Simon and so many others were working/being tortured to produce hits there. Carole King is an incredible songwriter and she has a very expressive (if not traditionally strong) voice. I think Tapestry is deservedly ranked among the greatest albums of all time even though it is not one of my personal favorites.
4
May 06 2025
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Kanye West
āToo many Urkels on your team thatās why your wins low.ā Verses like that are why I enjoy Kanyeās music while not defending him as a person. I donāt think that this is amongst his best albums but itās still pretty decent. Nicki Minaj's verse on "Monster" is ridiculously good and there are a number of other fun moments, but as a whole this isnāt as strong as several of his other albums.
3
May 07 2025
The Holy Bible
Manic Street Preachers
If I wanted to hear a Welshman yell angrily for an hour Iād just lock up his neighborās sheep after he has been down to the pub.
2
May 08 2025
The Predator
Ice Cube
Ice Cube was my favorite member of NWA and I had this album on CD in the 90ās. I think gangsta rapās expression of anger at racial injustice spoke to my anger at the world stemming from clichĆ©d teen angst. Ice Cubeās rhymes were often clever and occasionally insightful and his beats and samples were varied and catchy. This is a good album.
3
May 09 2025
Fun House
The Stooges
This is like the Doors sped up a measure and with a saxophonist instead of an organist. This sucks.
2
May 12 2025
In Rainbows
Radiohead
I had liked OK Computer pretty well a decade earlier and when this album was released under the pay-what-you-want model I thought that was neat, so I went to Radiohead.com or whatever and downloaded this for $0.00. I overpaid.
Oh well, at least there are only 37 more Radiohead albums on this list that Iāll have to suffer through.
1
May 13 2025
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
The Smashing Pumpkins
The fact that Billy Corgan is now a wrestling promoter tells you everything you need to know about his āartisticā philosophy: Make entertainment of the lowest common denominator to appeal to as many dumb people as possible.
Given that this album is made up of fairly inoffensive grunge rockers and ballads, I could see having given it three stars if it had been a single album. But nah son, two hours? Two stars.
At least the album cover is pretty.
2
May 14 2025
Electric
The Cult
From Wikipedia: āThe album marked a deliberate stylistic change in the band's sound from gothic rock to more traditional hard rock . . . in an effort to capitalize on the popularity of hard rock, glam metal and heavy metal in the 1980s.ā While I applaud and encourage any and all bands to abandon goth rock for whatever reason, I feel like the Cult should have gone even farther in their quest to sell out. I still hear some of their original sound in this, and it sucks.
This album was certainly a step in the right direction though, because any step away from goth rock is always in the right direction. Goth rock is the South Pole of sucking. Any direction you move is always going to be North, i.e. less sucky.
You know when the lame dad in Kiss make up screams āRock & Roll!!!ā while making devil horns and you get a whole body cringe? This is that moment in album form. If youāre in the mood for completely generic hard rock, then this is a good choice (except for the abysmal āBorn to Be Wildā cover) but thatās not a mood I find myself in very often.
For what it is - a late-80ās copy of AC/DC, late 70ās/early 80ās Stones and Zeppelin but with more annoying vocals - this is fine. But why would you want what this is?
3
May 15 2025
Phrenology
The Roots
This is my first time hearing this and I thought it was pretty decent. I donāt anticipate putting it on again but it didnāt make my day any worse.
3
May 16 2025
Armed Forces
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
My Aim is True is my favorite Elvis Costello album, but Armed Forces is great too. Catchy power pop with cynical, clever lyrics makes me happy.
5
May 19 2025
The Joshua Tree
U2
I donāt know how to rate an album like this. Do I own it or want to own it or think I would play it if I owned it? No to all three. Do I think the four massive hits that the album starts with are good songs? I have no idea. Probably. Do I ever want to listen to this again? Not really. Do I get why people really like this album? Sure, I guess. I donāt know man. I donāt know how you rate The Joshua Tree anymore than I know how to rate Thriller. I think this album was too massive a cultural juggernaut to try to have an opinion on.
3
May 20 2025
Pink Moon
Nick Drake
āPink Moonā is a great song. Other than that? https://youtu.be/8V_hCqO6UQs?si=766EUVAM33QcViZ8
3
May 21 2025
Gris Gris
Dr. John
New Orleans is a great city, but itās also a city of thieves and scoundrels with larceny deep in its heart. In fact, that is a big part of its charm. Iām sorry to inform anyone who paid to listen to this that you just got your pocket picked like a tourist on Lafayette Square. But as New Orleans knows, if a crime is committed with enough style then nobody minds too much.
3
May 22 2025
Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
Dead Kennedys
I hate Jello Biafra's voice and musically this strikes me as basically just angry noise. "California Ćber Alles" is pretty good as long as you don't listen to the lyrics too closely, which are dumb just like the rest of the lyrics to these songs.
It seems like punk can either be completely nihilistic/hedonistic, or advocate for cliched "fuck the system" politics. While I think "fuck the system, burn it to the ground!" is fine if youāre a 16 year old white suburbanite, what about a mother of two kids with disabilities who relies on āthe systemā for support to feed her kids? āWell thatās just a band aid and we need to tear it all down so people like that will revolt and make real change!ā Well how many people have to die for that revolt to happen? Are you volunteering to be one of them or is it just the poor and the old and the disabled? And are you going to rebuild a new system that continues to do the limited amount of good that our current system does? And is this hypothetical new system not going to be just as bad as every other system people have had in place since we invented agriculture? This time is going to be different?
Punk rockers are like the angry dude pretending to want to fight the big guy who pissed them off at the bar while their friends are holding them back. They can only spout off at the mouth because they are safe in the knowledge that they can't actually do anything so they won't have to suffer any consequences. If you gave a random assortment of punk rockers the ability to make actual change they would wilt just as fast as the fake tough guy telling someone "you're lucky these guys are holding me back!" would if his friends let him go.
I agree the system sucks in a lot of ways. But I donāt want to tear down the system. I want to keep the beneficial parts of our current system and work to make gradual change that builds a fairer and more just society. But that message doesnāt really help you sell records to angry teenage boys.
2
May 23 2025
Rust In Peace
Megadeth
I fully support besuited skeleton monsters with chainlink dreadlocks pulling the radioactive heart out of an alien while world leaders wearing the flags of their countries as patches on their suit coats look on with approval. Iām on record as being fully and unequivocally pro-that. But this shit REALLY sucks.
1
May 26 2025
Reggatta De Blanc
The Police
āMessage in a Bottleā is catchy but cheesy. āBring on the Nightā and āWalking on the Moonā are okay. The rest of this album made zero impact on me. I know people like the Police. I donāt fault them for doing so. But they honestly do nothing for me.
3
May 27 2025
MTV Unplugged In New York
Nirvana
Hard to rate an album that Iāve listened to as many times as I have this one. I think this was a good mostly acoustic set by a band that certainly had something. The flowers and candles set dressing is weird for a posthumous release.
Iām not sure why I am so hard on Nirvana. Do I feel like they were forced on me because of their popularity? Am I mad at MTV and the way music is marketed to young people? Am I just disappointed by how my teenage years went, and maybe just life in general? I donāt know, but Iām pretty sure most of my feelings about Nirvana are not really about Nirvana.
This is not a bad album that I know backwards and forwards and never listen to. I can agree that everyone should hear it.
3
May 28 2025
Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters is music for people who donāt actually like music. Genericore. And this isnāt even the kind of music that Dave Grohl listens to. He likes Pantera or Gwar or some shit. This is just pablum he made to sell records to normies. Well I aināt buying.
3
May 29 2025
The United States Of America
The United States Of America
Most of this wasnāt too bad but some of it was really bad. They shouldāve picked the one with that millions of peaches, peaches for me song on it.
3
May 30 2025
Be
Common
This sounds like a Kanye West side project with a very uncharismatic rapper making the tracks less good than they otherwise would have been without him badly rapping on them.
3
Jun 02 2025
Hysteria
Def Leppard
I don't like anything about hair metal. I don't like the way it is sung. I don't like the way the guitar or the drums sound. I don't like the dumb lyrics aimed at twelve year olds. I don't like that it is the official theme song for baseball players to commit date rape to. Lowest common denominator pop is still lowest common denominator pop, even if it is run through a "hard rock" filter. This is just bad.
2
Jun 03 2025
Screamadelica
Primal Scream
Scotland has way more great bands than makes sense statistically given their population. Orange Juice, Belle and Sebastian, The Vaselines, Teenage Fanclub, Franz Ferdinand, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Cocteau Twins, Simple Minds, The Beta Band, Camera Obscura. I donāt know what youāre up to Scotland, but good on ya.
Seems like this album gets some hate but I kinda liked it. Take a rock revival indie band and feed them copious amounts of X and then let a house DJ make their songs all ravy. I think itās a cool idea. It kinda goes on a bit too long, which is common in the CD era, but still pretty cool.
3
Jun 04 2025
Rhythm Nation 1814
Janet Jackson
She had to put the interludes in. The fragile human mind could not handle this many hits in a row without some kind of buffer. This may be the ultimate culmination of new jack swing, which was such a cool genre with such a unique and fun sound. I very much enjoyed this album by an artist who I am required to refer to as Ms. Jackson. Cause Iām nasty.
4
Jun 05 2025
The Notorious Byrd Brothers
The Byrds
This list has too many Byrds albums. I have nothing against the Byrds, but doing this project is kind of making me hate them. Update: after hearing "Dolphins' Smile" I have something against the Byrds. Ugh.
2
Jun 06 2025
The Scream
Siouxsie And The Banshees
Music historian Simon Goddard described the music on The Scream as a "claustrophobic abyss of angst and angularity". YEAH BUT THATS NOT GOOD IS IT????!!!!! I donāt want a claustrophobic abyss of angst and angularity. I want good music that sounds good and that I enjoy. Like for physical sensations, I want a warm relaxing bath, not to be kicked in the balls repeatedly by a Hells Angel wearing steel toed boots. Are post punk fans musical BDSM people? What are you doing to yourselves? And why are you also doing it to me?
2
Jun 09 2025
Konnichiwa
Skepta
Iām so embarrassed (1) to have listened to this; (2) that this album was put on this list; (3) that this album exists; (4) that British people try to rap; (5) that British people exist. This is all just mortifying. I feel sick. Please stop. Stop this. Have some respect for yourself and others. Do better.
2
Jun 10 2025
Out Of The Blue
Electric Light Orchestra
Catchy, kind of fun, enjoyably poppy, but starts to grate after four sides. If youāre looking for some disco classical prog-pop, this is probably the band for you. But Iām not really looking for that. Still, this album did not make my day worse.
3
Jun 11 2025
Moondance
Van Morrison
The only way they could kill the message of Jesus Christ was to form a church around his teachings and suck all the life out of them over 2000 years. The only way they could ruin the beauty of this album was to play these songs on classic rock radio and in the background at Banana Republic for 55 years. But in both cases, people who can listen without prejudice and who arenāt cringy edgelords can still appreciate them for the magical things they are.
The best albums are all of one piece but the individual songs still stand out from one another. This album does that perfectly. The whole album is a singular work of art, but repeated listens reveal the individuality of each song.
I love the jazzy loose feel of Astral Weeks, but Morrisonās decision to make his next record a pop/soul album was inspired, even if it was done for commercial reasons. He made an album that was just as good as Astral Weeks but operated in an entirely different idiom. Both albums are brilliant.
5
Jun 12 2025
Hypnotised
The Undertones
Fun proto-pop punk from 1980. Hard to see how you could hate this. Just a bunch of dorks having a good time and making not unpleasant music. The only negatives for me are that itās not exactly revelatory, the āUnder the Boardwalkā cover, and that I listened to the extended cut by accident and that was way too much Undertones. Other than that, this is fine by me.
3
Jun 13 2025
The Beach Boys Today!
The Beach Boys
āDo You Wanna Dance?ā is such an incredible song and an amazing way to open an album. Itās such a sad song, but the sadness is all subtext. Lyrically itās a teeny bopper asking a girl to the hop and musically itās upbeat, but something about The Beach Boysās treatment of it just breaks my heart. The Ramones and I donāt often see eye-to-eye but they were onto something when they covered this song.
Iāve also always loved āHelp Me Rhondaā because I sang it in chorus class when I was in elementary school. Thatās the only song on the album thatās more than three minutes long, and the album clocks in at 28 minutes total, which I fully support for all pop music.
I gave Pet Sounds - the album that all music critics never stop hyping - four stars, but I think I may give this album the same. It doesnāt have anything to equal the three all time great songs that Pet Sounds does but as a complete album I may prefer this.
RIP Brian Wilson. Sensitive artists like you and I just arenāt made for this world, much less these times.
4
Jun 16 2025
Rings Around The World
Super Furry Animals
So, like . . . Welsh Flaming Lips? Nah, yāknow what? Iām aight.
3
Jun 17 2025
Channel Orange
Frank Ocean
This was so hyped in 2012/2013 that even an exhausted, overwhelmed 30-something father of two toddlers torrented it off Limewire and spent a week trying to see what all the fuss was about. Listening to it again over a decade later, I feel the same way I did then. Frank Ocean is obviously talented. There are moments throughout this self-indulgent way-too-lightly-edited mess that really shine. But why listen to a loose unedited bunch of ideas that could have made a masterpiece of an album if someone had put in the work instead of a finished product?
Frank Ocean should have come around in the age when gatekeepers wouldāve made him compromise his artistic vision to give the people what they actually want. Berry Gordy or Clive Davis would have turned this from a collection of brilliant ideas to an album full of hits.
Still, props to the guy for having it. If you canāt hear that heās undeniably got the goods, I donāt know what to tell you.
3
Jun 18 2025
Penthouse And Pavement
Heaven 17
āThe Height of the Fighting (He-La-Hu)ā sounds like they are doing a parody of whatever this is. I say āwhatever this isā because a lot of this album sounded more like weird proto-techno/post-disco than what I think of as synth-pop. Genre quibbles aside, this was faux laser beam sound-filled noise that I did not enjoy.
After repeated listens, I can confidently say that - of all the albums ever made - this is without a doubt one of them. Iād just like to give a shout out to Robert Dimery. Apart from a few compilations and at least one soundtrack, basically all the albums featured in ā1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Dieā are, in fact, albums. I have not come across a single entry like āA can of tuna I found in my pantry that Iām not sure how it got thereā or āA sunset I saw once when I was eightā or āSlacksā. Essentially every album featured in this book is an album. Great job bud.
2
Jun 19 2025
The Blueprint
JAY Z
I type this knowing full well how ridiculous this statement is, but I think I may have slept on Jay-Z. I had written him off since he sampled Annie, and while I liked "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" fine when it was the biggest song in the world, I never listened to The Blueprint all the way through. Hearing it today, I didnāt stop bobbing my head for the entire hour it was on. Iām sure Kanyeās production played a big part of that but, honestly, everything except Eminemās verses worked for me. This is embarrassing, but I am figuring out in 2025 that one of the best selling rap albums of all time is actually really good. I feel like someone saying āMan, did you guys know McDonalds makes good French fries?ā
4
Jun 20 2025
It's Too Late to Stop Now
Van Morrison
I will admit to some degree of concern when I saw this was a 92-minute long live album, despite the fact that I think Van Morrisonās run of albums leading up to these performances is amongst the best in popular music. I find live albums to generally be made up of not as good versions of studio tracks recorded as if they were performed at the bottom of a swimming pool filled with mud. This was anything but. The recording sounds crisp and clear and while the performances differ from the studio versions, they are just different, not worse. This album had energy and verve, the band sounded great, and the performances added to the original material. There wasnāt really a bad moment in the entire 92 minutes. This is a great live album and Iām glad to have heard it.
4
Jun 23 2025
Fifth Dimension
The Byrds
I listened to this album. But thatās all youāre getting from me. Iāve already wrung every word Iām capable of writing about the Byrds out of myself. Iāve got nothing left. I can only say āmid psych folk jangle popā so many times and in so many ways and I ran out of original combinations twelve Byrds albums ago. Iām done.
2
Jun 24 2025
21
Adele
I mean, there are always people like this right? Pop/ballad singers from somewhere that is still nominally governed by the British monarchy that sell 80 billion records and are forgotten after a generation because they made bland generic inoffensive music that provoked zero thought in its listeners whatsoever. Judging by how many Helen Reddy and Anne Murray albums I come across while crate digging, they must have sold Adele-like numbers of records but have been all but forgotten because thereās not really anything to remember them by. Adele is the version of that phenomenon that ruled the earth in the 2010ās but sheās just one in a never ending line of creators of vaguely pleasant schlock. This isnāt art, itās product.
Now, fairly blatantly misogynistic rock snobbery aside, this is excellent product. This didnāt sell 80 billion copies by accident. Itās like a greatest hits album for almost the entire first side and even the songs that werenāt hits are generally catchy and always well sung. If this generation was going to have a Helen Reddy/Anne Murray, it could have done a lot worse.
3
Jun 25 2025
Atomizer
Big Black
Big Black has been described as having āa sound resembling a singing saw blade mercillesly tearing through sheet metal.ā My question is, why? You donāt like the sound of a saw blade tearing through sheet metal. I certainly donāt. No one does. People who work in factories where saw blades tear through sheet metal wear ear protection so they donāt have to hear that. So why listen to it by choice? What would make you want to do something like that to yourself, and more importantly, to me?
Itās like food critics kind of. A million people eat McDonalds every day; but a million people eat delicious nutritious home cooked meals or at quality local restaurants every day too. So food critics should steer people away from McDonalds and towards good recipes and restaurants. That would be a productive and noble use of their platform. But that takes work and might not draw enough eyeballs. So they do write ups of the weird niche pop up that four people a night go to for clout that charges you $200 to inhale vaporized eel brain. This album is $200 vaporized eel brain. People donāt like it. It sucks. But itās so extreme that it makes for good copy for lazy music critics to write about. So here we are.
Speaking of drawing eyeballs, Steve Albini has walked back his frequent use of racial, gender and sexual orientation-based slurs (how punk rock!) but what no one who later recants saying those types of things ever admits is to why they did it. They did it for attention. They wanted to sell their shitty noise music and have people go to their awful headache-inducing concerts and normal people were never going to do that so they tapped into the edgelord market because edgelords are dumb, have a little money and there are enough of them to sell an okay number of records. Lyrics of that nature are a commercial decision, despite being very non-commercial. Targeting a niche market is still targeting a market. Itās no different than Madonnaās metal bra or Lil Nas Xās video where he gives Satan a lap dance. Itās all manufactured controversy meant to get dumb teenagers to buy your record. So donāt get on Twitter in 2023 and say you shouldnāt have said those things because of your privilege. Give back all the money and fame you intentionally sought by saying them or sit in your Wicker Park condo collecting your interest and shut the fuck up.
1
Jun 26 2025
Green
R.E.M.
I was 11 when this came out and wouldnāt buy it on CD for another five years or so, so Green isnāt the early-REM/late-REM demarcation line for me that it is for old(er) heads. To me, it was just part of the back catalog of this amazing band that I was blessed to fall in love with in my teens.
Athens was only about three hours away from where I grew up, so two friends and I did a day trip to see the church where they played their first shows and the bridge from the back of Murmur and Wuxtry Records. My best friend at the time, who was way more into REM than I was (and they were my favorite band), put that together. I would have never thought to do that. Iām grateful for the people in my life who got me to do things. I donāt know why I donāt think to do things, but mostly I donāt.
Iām also grateful for REM. Music nerds; just nerds generally; Southern boys just like you and me; writing songs about being confused and scared and sad and angry that were just poppy enough and just weird enough to hit my ears right in their sweet spot. A perfect band for teenage me, and a huge part of my life as a music fan. Green isnāt one of my favorite of their albums, but the worst REM album is better than almost anything else.
4
Jun 27 2025
All Things Must Pass
George Harrison
I think you have to view this record as a double album with a bonus disc of throwaway jams that donāt really count as part of the album proper. Viewed in that light, I think this is the best solo album by a former Beatle and is better than a fair number of Beatles albums.
The combination of acoustic instruments with Phil Spectorsās wall of sound production is incredibly distinctive. I think the songs vary enough from one to the next while also being part of one cohesive whole.
This is a great record to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
5
Jun 30 2025
Take Me Apart
Kelela
Is turning to glitchy alt-R&B after not making it in indie or prog akin to someone leaving LA for Nashville because they couldnāt make it as a pop singer and going country?
This was not bad really, but itās also not good. Too much emphasis on the vocals, not really any music to speak of. And so incredibly generic that it has no place on this list. There are thousands of albums that sound just like this and are of just as good a quality. This was an absolute non-entity of an album.
3
Jul 01 2025
Destroy Rock & Roll
Mylo
This was either lofi hip hop radio beats to relax/study to (shout out to the anime girl and her cat stuck in a time loop relaxing/studying forever), or one or two bpm faster than that but basically the same thing. I could hardly think of less essential listening, but I like this kind of thing fine, so ehh.
3
Jul 02 2025
The Boatman's Call
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
I could see a world where I was into Nick Cave. Iām pretentious and have a tolerance for vocals of this sort. But every bit of the need I have for this type of music is fully occupied - and done a million times better, in my opinion - by Leonard Cohen. So, Iām listening to this album and itās totally fine and Iām very glad itās not post-punk, but Iād just as soon be listening to Leonard Cohen.
Oh wait, that is a whole lot of accordion. This is not totally fine.
2
Jul 03 2025
Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music
Ray Charles
As great as Ray Charles is, musically a lot of this album is corny schmaltz. I HATE this style of background vocals and the strings get annoying as well. But I can forgive that because of how much I admire this album as a thing that exists, even if I donāt want to sit and listen to it.
Firstly, I love the sheer chutzpah of Ray Charles recording an album of country songs. Sometimes when one of the greats is at his or her peak, they say āI can do anything and itās going to be amazing. I can sing the phone book and it will be a hit.ā And occasionally, theyāre actually right. That is where Ray Charles was in 1962. He could have done anything and it was going to work and he knew it. You have to admire someone who has it and isnāt afraid to act accordingly.
Secondly, I love how very, deeply, American this album is. In the old world, they love their distinctions. The pottery guild makes the pots and the blacksmithing guild makes the frying pans and if anyone colors outside the lines they will go beat them up. And donāt get me wrong, I respect that. It ensures everybody eats and can provide their children with their daily ration of wine and cigarettes. But - for better and very often for worse - America threw that playbook straight in the trash.
Distinctions exist here, but they always bow - like everything else in America does - to the almighty dollar. If you can sell units by tearing down every genre distinction in the world then we will put a crown on your head until your records stop selling. The only distinction Americans care about is cash or card. Everything else is just details. We will listen to your big band country blues jazz in our combination KFC Taco Bells while wearing our Italian clothes and driving our German cars, all of which are made in China. God bless America!
Ray Charles was the best in the world at this time and followed his vision for the art he wanted to make with a boldness that people who donāt have a proper appreciation for that kind of thing might call arrogance, and the world is a better place because of it. The only reason Iām not giving this record five stars is because of how it veers into Lawrence Welk territory at times. But I have enjoyed re-listening to it today and unquestionably think it belongs on this list.
4
Jul 04 2025
Tonight's The Night
Neil Young
āIām sad all my friends are dying from drugs, what should I do about it? Oh I know, drugs!ā This wasnāt good. Not a song, not a chorus, not a moment of it. Just a bad album from start to finish. A real chore to have to listen to.
I think amateur musicians like half-assed tossed off records because theyāre bad musicians; and so lazy, badly played and sung music reminds them of what they produce and makes them think ācelebrities, theyāre just like me!ā
But Iām not an amateur musician. I like things where people work hard to try to make them good. I like perfectly crafted pop songs and prog rock and Steely Dan. People who are good at making music and work really hard to make something that is good. Multiple takes. Thought and care put into the creative process. Not being too wasted to write a coherent lyric. You know, actually giving a shit. Therefore, I donāt like this.
2
Jul 07 2025
Cee-Lo Green... Is The Soul Machine
Cee Lo Green
When there are more than, say twenty, headlines that include your stage name and the words ārape tweetsā, Iām thinking your career has not gone exactly as you envisioned it.
I assume that this album made it on an early version of the 1001 albums list and was cut in subsequent editions. Thereās not really anything wrong with it. Fairly middle of the road 2000ās hip-pop. It has all the guys that were doing that well at that time on it (Luda!). It hits all the marks. But there is nothing exceptional or special about this album whatsoever.
2
Jul 08 2025
Copper Blue
Sugar
I recall seeing this in the used bins a lot in the 90ās. I expect people thought it was grunge, or XTC-flavored jangle pop because all theyād heard was āIf I Canāt Change Your Mindā, and didnāt realize it was post-punk. Or didnāt know what post-punk was. God, I envy them. Imagine being able to be all like āHüsker hü?ā
This wasnāt too bad though. I am glad Bob Mould sold out and tried to appeal to the kids who are now in their 50ās. As I am almost 50, that makes this sound kind of good to me.
3
Jul 09 2025
Tusk
Fleetwood Mac
This is an absurd, drugged out, arrogant, self-indulgent, sometimes discordant, fractured double album made by the greatest band in the world at the time. Oh, sorry, thatās my review of the White Album. This is better than that. I will not be taking any questions.
4
Jul 10 2025
Golden Hour
Kacey Musgraves
Oh boy, the "I like all kinds of music except rap and country" bros are out in full effect for this album. Hello there worst people in existence. Keep being terrible I guess. https://thehardtimes.net/blog/like-everything-except-rap-country-poor-people/
I like this album. I own this album. I think this is a good album. I like listening to it. I do not think that this is one of the 1001 albums you must hear before you die. Still, reading what the rest of you think about it makes me like it more out of spite. Or not spite really. More, "Oh God, I don't ever want to be like those people in the slightest." So yeah, good album. Not great, but good.
3
Jul 11 2025
Rip It Up
Orange Juice
I had listened to a few songs here and there by Orange Juice but never a whole album. I was surprised to see the band described as post-punk. To me it was more new wave with tinges of disco and ska, or 80ās sophistipop with a horn section. Whatever label you put on it, I was - for the most part - here for it.
I think the biggest strength of the album was that the band never seemed to take themselves too seriously. The only real negatives for me were that Edwin Collinsās croon could get annoying after a while, and I wish the album was a little more sonically cohesive. I felt a bit of whiplash because of all the genre jumping it did from song to song. But almost all of those songs were good. I am glad to have heard this album and think it belongs on this list.
4
Jul 14 2025
You Are The Quarry
Morrissey
The Smiths are one of my favorite bands and I have never owned a Morrissey album. My love for the Smiths and ambivalence towards Morrisseyās solo career is the biggest band/post band solo career difference I can think of in terms of my enjoyment. The Smiths hit my ears just right. Morrisseyās songs do that for moments during his songs and I perk up and think Iām in for a good time but it never lasts for the whole four-odd minutes of his song, much less for a whole album. You Are the Quarry was no exception.
3
Jul 15 2025
Car Wheels On A Gravel Road
Lucinda Williams
I was in the midst of a huge alt-country (that was what we called it then, the term āAmericanaā came later) phase at the time this album came out. Uncle Tupelo, Whiskeytown, Son Volt, Ryan Adams, the Jayhawks, the Bottlerockets, Wilco, the Old 97ās, the Mavericks, Gillian Welch, Slobberbone, Golden Smog, and -more than any other - this album. Even though Iām not still in that phase, I enjoy all that music to this day and have great residual affection for it. I would rank this album as one of my favorites of all time and think there is an argument that it represents the ultimate culmination of the alt-country genre.
Alt-country cut out all the cheese of 80ās and 90ās country and stripped it back to basics, but also made it new. Alt-country artists were making country music with one eye on Hank and the other on the Ramones. Musically, āCar Wheels on a Gravel Roadā leaned more traditional than a lot of the other bands doing this at the time but still sounded incredibly fresh. Lyrically, this album surpassed all of its contemporaries, which is hard to do when youāre talking about Jeff Tweedy at his absolute best.
Lucinda Williamsās lyrics perfectly describe the world of the rural South that I grew up in, or maybe that I have just made up in my head from scraps of memories and stories and popular culture. āWhen I get back this room better be picked upā; āSorry no credit donāt ask, bathroom wall reads āIs God the answer? Yes!āā. That world couldnāt have survived modernity because it was like a junebug in a hurricane, and it shouldnāt have because it was full of absolute horrors. But those dark parts made the light spots glow like a neon sign in the middle of nowhere on a pitch black night. Those parts of that time and place were too cool to be forgotten. āCar Wheels on a Gravel Roadā helps keep their memory alive.
5
Jul 16 2025
In A Silent Way
Miles Davis
I hate Bitches Brew and this sounded like Prelude to Bitches Brew. I hate Bitches Brew so much that I think I may have Bitches Brew-related PTSD, and so hearing how similar this was to Bitches Brew triggered me something fierce. I am sorry to those that like this kind of thing, but I very much do not.
2
Jul 17 2025
A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Coldplay
Coldplay. Sigh, okay. I liked āYellowā and the song from the Garden State soundtrack. I had burned copies of their first two albums that I may have listened to once or twice. Capitalism has always warped artists, but 2000 to 2025 is something else in terms of what it has done to people. And those who started out kind of sucky have really gotten the worst of it. I donāt know a ton about what Coldplay has been up to in the last decade but what I have seen appears pretty awful.
Setting aside modern day Coldplay, this album is fine. It barely has a pulse but it never really does anything intolerable. I donāt like Chris Martin's voice but it fits the music fairly well. I suppose that - given what this list is - this album had to be on it. I donāt like it, but it faded into the background enough to where I canāt be too upset.
2
Jul 18 2025
Violator
Depeche Mode
This isnāt quite one of those āwait is this a greatest hits collection?ā albums like Thriller or Sheās So Unusual or the Cars and Bostonās self-titled debuts but itās close. Not every song is as immediately accessible as the hits, but none are filler and they all seem to belong on the album. The album flows well and makes for an enjoyable listening experience.
I think that what makes Violator so strong is that Depeche Mode had transitioned to a full-on pop group at this point (or possibly back to a full-on pop group? Wikipedia says they started as a teeny bop boy band, which I didnāt know but which doesnāt surprise me all that much). At this time they were a pop group that wore black leather and sang about being sad or whatever, but they were an unabashed pop group nonetheless. With Violator, Depeche Mode was making pop music with a synthy gothy filter over it, but first and foremost they were making pop music.
And they kill it on this album. When an album is in the same general area as goth rock and I donāt despise it, you know it has to be good. This is an album that deserves inclusion on this list and that is completely worth hearing. Spike up your hair, put on some black eyeliner and a puffy shirt, dance around in a really sad way and have yourself a great time.
4
Jul 21 2025
Welcome to the Afterfuture
Mike Ladd
Terrible, awkward rapping. Completely uninspiring beats. This wouldnāt make a list of 10,001 albums you must hear before you die. The ten minute instrumental in the middle was alright but not near enough to make up for the rest of this mediocre non-entity of an album.
2
Jul 22 2025
The Seldom Seen Kid
Elbow
Iām ready to take all the copies of this book I can find and throw them in Boston Harbor. The avalanche of bland boring British mediocrity that you are buried under when listening to the albums on this list is thoroughly demoralizing. The Britishness of the author of this book is a systematic flaw in this project that almost requires the entire thing be scrapped and replaced with a list of 1001 albums made by a person who was not a complete fuckwit. In sum, this album was a waste of everyoneās time and attention and I am sad.
2
Jul 23 2025
Gentlemen
The Afghan Whigs
A good friend of mine likes the Afghan Whigs - and Gentleman in particular - very much, so I have tried listening to it a number of times and never heard what he finds so compelling about it. Listening to it today, and reading the lyrics, I think the reviewers who describe this as āincel rockā and songs about being an abuser are missing the point somewhat.
I think this is more a concept album (or song cycle) about a co-dependent, abusive relationship. But I think itās about the relationship as a whole, not just the male half. āMy Curseā is what convinced me of that, but I think you can hear it throughout the record.
I think this is an album about two people in a trap of their own making. They are both torturing their partner and being tortured. It could apply as much to drug addiction as a dysfunctional relationship.
I think this is an album worth hearing but I wouldnāt listen to it for pleasure. I donāt think itās bad, itās just not really for me.
3
Jul 24 2025
Paranoid
Black Sabbath
As I listened to Ozzie (RIP) yell āI AM IRONMAN!ā in a monster voice, I couldnāt help but think āthis is kind of silly.ā But then it occurred to me, all of rock & roll is silly. Long hair and leather pants and guitar solos and riffs and drum fills and rhyming about girls or the government or your feelings. Itās all silly. Even introspective sensitive indie rock is silly. Rock & Roll is just a silly thing. So if I have a problem with āI AM IRONMAN!ā but not REMās Murmur or Modest Mouse, is there just a line of silliness up to which Iām okay, but beyond that Iām not? Cause I donāt think thatās fair. In for a penny, in for a pound. So letās get silly.
This is a good album. If they had stopped making metal after this - and I mean all humanity, not just Sabbath - I would be a fan of the genre. Itās just every note of every metal song after this album came out is worse than the one before. But up to here, metal is A-OK with me.
This is still kind of blues rocky like their first album but not quite as much. I was surprised how psychedelic āPlanet Caravanā was. The drumming is really good when itās not in the form of a drum solo. The songs on this album rock and make you want to head bang and make the devil horns sign like Beavis and Butthead. All in all this is a pretty great album.
4
Jul 25 2025
Maxinquaye
Tricky
Between ā Glory Boxā and āHell is Round the Cornerā, I think that āIkeās Rapā may have been heard more in 1995 than it was in 1971. I liked this quote from Wikipedia: āTricky had no concept of pitch and no regard for notational conventions or time signatures, nor any previous experience with sampling.ā LOL, same. And, did this guy really just have some producer basically make his whole album for him just by saying āoi do a track wit dese two samples bruvā and then coming back to laconically rap over the result? If so, you almost have to respect that level of laziness.
I was pleased to find that this album is fairly similar to Massive Attack. I was worried there would be a lot of British rapping (shudder) but I found that it was generally quiet enough that I wasnāt too bothered by it, except when it became absurdly and cringingly sexual. I donāt mean to come off as a Gen-Z style prude, but I donāt really need to hear āI fuck you in the ass, just for a laffā in my pop music. Lyrical content aside, I liked Martina Topley-Birdās vocals much more than Trickyās rapping.
Overall, I think this is a pretty good trip-hop album, and I like trip-hop, so I thought this was okay. However, I would put Blue Lines or Mezzanine on before I would this album. I donāt know if thatās l because I know them better, or because they are better, but either way itās what Iād do. But if you like those albums youāll probably like this. Or not. I donāt know you.
3
Jul 28 2025
Leftism
Leftfield
Iām so excited to listen to all 1001 albums from the book ā300 Good Albums, 4 Reggae Albums, 26 Albums of British People Copying Reggae, 40 Albums of 60ās Psychedelic Bullshit (18 of which are by the Byrds), 200 Forgettable Late-90ās Early-2000ās Brit Pop Albums, 10 Albums Representing the Entire History of Jazz, 150 Generic and Completely Inconsequential Techno Albums that the Author Danced to at a Rave When he was Young I Guess?, 101 Duran Duran Wannabes, and 170 Other Terrible Choices that Make You Want to Dieā. What a good use of my time and energy!
This was stupid and pointless. The first two songs sounded like āThe Macarenaā. It never really improved from there. A complete waste of time.
2
Jul 29 2025
Palo Congo
Sabu
I see a lot of reviews from people not liking this but I thought it was a bop. The vocals could be grating but they fit the style of music well once you get onboard with them. I am also into hypnotic repetitive music designed for dancing in a circle around a fire until you hallucinate visions from the ancestors and whatnot and this seemed bordering on that. I liked this.
3
Jul 30 2025
Microshift
Hookworms
Albums not included on this list:
Giant Steps - John Coltrane; I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One - Yo La Tengo; For Emma, Forever Ago - Bon Iver; The Shape Of Jazz To Come - Ornette Coleman; Grand Prix - Teenage Fanclub; Under The Pink - Tori Amos; Things We Lost In The Fire - Low; Chet - Chet Baker; Goat - The Jesus Lizard; Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie; Mingus Ah Um - Charles Mingus; Silent Alarm - Bloc Party; Sublime - Sublime; In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel; Give Up - The Postal Service; Weezer (the Blue Album) - Weezer; Somethinā Else - Cannonball Adderly; Ram - Paul McCartney; Tragic Kingdom - No Doubt; Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend; Excitable Boy - Warren Zevon; Breakfast in America - Supertramp; Flood - They Might Be Giants; The Moon and Antarctica - Modest Mouse; Aquemini - OutKast; Fly - Dixie Chicks; Currents - Tame Impala; Funky Kingston - Toots and the Maytals; Curtis - Curtis Mayfield; Mezzanine - Massive Attack; Shoot Out the Lights - Richard and Linda Thompson; Loaded - The Velvet Underground; Damn the Torpedos - Tom Petty.
Albums included on this list: this one. Make it make sense.
This was perfectly fine indie synth pop. Nothing bad about it whatsoever. Iād never purposefully put it on but it was not unpleasant to listen to. It was also wholly unremarkable in every sense of the word. Just a non-entity of a record. To the extent there is any validity to a list like this - which is highly questionable - this album has no place on it.
3
Jul 31 2025
Low-Life
New Order
Low-Life is the kind of album that makes you picture a group of sad goth kids with spiky hair, wearing eyeliner, chain-smoking in a damp Manchester basement while it rains for the eighth consecutive day and then heading out to a different dank basement to all sadly dance together in. This version of New Order sounds like the Cure trying to emulate Duran Duran, but not as good as either of them.
Thatās not to say Low-Life is without its moments. Tracks like āLove Vigilantesā and āThe Perfect Kissā are catchy enough. The synths are moody and the basslines are danceable. And thereās no question that New Order are, at least, better than Joy Division. But thatās a low bar. Low-Life isnāt unlistenable, its just has a āneither fish nor fowlā problem that it never escapes for its entire 40 minute run time. When itās good, you can hear what theyāre trying to do and halfway get on board. But when itās bad itās haunted house background music.
3
Aug 01 2025
Berlin
Lou Reed
When I reviewed Lou Reedās previous album, I wrote that Transformer "sounds like demos for a musical about living in New York in the early 70ās that never got made because it was too precious even for a musical about living in New York in the early 70ās". And what does Lou Reed go and do next? Makes his follow up album a literal musical about living in New York in the early 70ās but fictionalizes it by setting it in Berlin, a city to which he had never been at the time it was recorded. Absolute mad lad!
Look, the guy wanted to write musicals but writing musicals doesn't pay so he made rock albums instead. He just made his rock albums into āeverything but the cast and stage directions and actorsā versions of musicals. But here is the thing: I don't like musicals (except Annie) so I don't like this. If you like this, maybe go watch Hamilton on Disney+ or something because you like musicals bruh. (I also like Hamilton).
2