1984

As a general rule, I don’t like guitar driven “rock” and stupid lyrics.

It’s somewhere between fun and loud. The hits are okay but the weaker songs are distinctly weaker than on their self-titled album.

I liked it! David Lee Roth just makes me smile. "Jump" is such a fun song. "Hello, hey you! Who said that?! Baby, how you been?" Adorable tbh.

For as much praise as van Halen gets this album was really mid Maybe it’s because I’ve heard all these songs a million times but I thought it was just okay 2.5 or 3/5 Favorite: hot for teacher

Captured this era so well!

fine

I see why Bill and Ted felt that way

Van Halen are probably the only hair metal band I still enjoy. There are a lot of great songs here: Hot For Teacher, Jump, Panama, Drop Dead Legs. However, there are 2 or 3 songs I feel are just okay, which keeps this from getting a 5, but it is still a very strong album. High 4.

This is a really solid album and a capsule to understand rock in the 80s. Such a fun album, the energy is quite contagious and itbis hard not to sing along with some of the singles. A solid 4

Geordie Greep is better.

Yes enjoyed this.

Cheesy as possible. Pretty much everything that is wrong with Rick music, America, men, and the world is what makes up the record... But it still makes your toes tap.

7/10

Not my cup of tea

Arena rock is really not my thing and I’m not American so never understood the Van Halen love.

Pales in comparison to their earlier stuff, but I'm still a sucker for Hot for Teacher. Album tracks are decent.

This was amazinggggg album, truly. I loved it so much plus the album cover is cool af

1984 is Van Halen at the point where virtuosity, songwriting and commercial instinct collide. Eddie Van Halen proves he can make the synthesizer as exciting as a guitar. Alex Van Halen sounds monstrous behind the kit. David Lee Roth turns every song into a theatrical event. And the production makes the whole thing enormous without completely sanding off the band’s personality.

Banger after banger

Very good

Me lembro bem de quando eu era pequeno e tive o primeiro contato com o Van Halen, mesmo sem saber quem eram eles. Panama fazia parte da intro do Gran Turismo 4 e se tornou um dos pedaços mais nostalgicos da infância. Eu fui realmente conhecer o que era o Van Halen muitos anos depois, e como a maioria das bandas de rock clássicas, naquela época eu não me interessava tanto assim. E ainda demorou um bom tempo até eu mergulhar na discografia desses caras. Em questões técnicas não é necessário dizer muito, essa é uma das bandas que mais se diversificaram no gênero nos anos 80, e o 1984 juntamente com o auto intitulado de estreia detém as músicas mais famosas do grupo, e também as que mais expressam essa originalidade. Esse disco tem uma variedade de texturas sonoras, sintetizadores, refrãos bem chiclete, e algo que eu gosto muito nele é o fato de ser um disco bem curto, mas ao mesmo tempo bem completo. Não tem encheção de linguiça, sem baladinha romântica pra mascarar falta de criatividade, é direto e reto. Um ótimo trabalho de uma banda que teve altos e baixos na carreira, mas que os trabalhos principais deixaram um marco na história. Rest in Power Eddie Van Halen.

Sure, it’s a bit dated at times. But the drum fills are killer and really smooth. Guess I haven’t noticed this before in detail. Enjoyed this listen! 3.9/5.0

If your record sounds this dated, you might as well jump.

Some top tier hair metal. Full of Diamond David Lee Roth doing Diamon David Lee Roth things. Exactly what you want from a Van Halen album. 4*

An album that is like a juvenile golden retriever prancing around trying to please people with his antics, and for some songs it kind of works. Whoever it was at the record label that picked out the singles did a good job because those are definitely the standouts, the rest of the album isn't quite as good though. Overall, it's fine, but I would only say that the singles need to be heard before you die.

Fun and a bit ridiculous … second half falls off a cliff to an extent but the Jump / Panama back to back was incredible. 3.5+

3-/5

Favorite track(s): Jump, Panama, Top Jimmy, Hot for Teacher, I'll Wait, Girl Gone Bad Heard before Previous rating: 8/10

I was debating between 4 and 5 stars. But starting a song with a drum solo and then having the guitar come screaming in 30 seconds later (hot for teacher) pushed it up over that edge

I thought this album would be all synthy BS, but there are some genuine rockers here.

Pretty good fun and nice and short. The daft inappropriate widdly guitar solo in each song is quite irritating though.

nice tracks, good groove.....for me a little to american

This is so good. Just so fucking good. Panama may be the greatest pump up song ever. 9/10.

Innovative guitar playing. Catchy songs. Dumb lyrics. People were genuinely mystified that Eddie Van Halen would play keyboard though. There was this belief at the time that using synthesizers did not fit the rock aesthetic, which is also tied into appearing masculine. But I get it, from Eddie's perspective. He was a creative person, and creative people like to stretch their boundaries. The solos sometimes don't fit the songs, either. They seem shoehorned in because Eddie Van Halen is supposed to have a guitar solo on every song. When you look at the music of the time, it's not entirely out of place. Now I'm wondering how often the spouses of educators sing "hot for teacher" when they want to get sexy.

Man, there is something cruel about being a music fan who was born in 1984, one of the worst years of music the world has seen. Saying that, Eddie Van Halen is one of the top 5 guitar players that has ever been, but Van Halens delivery just ain't where it belongs in my opinion. If I could listen to Eddie alone, maybe with some drums, I would.

No me gustan

leuk maar beetje hetzelfde allemaal

The year 1984 must have been so special cause this record is so anthemic. I love some good guitar riffs and there are some catchy ones here (that’s why we all know Jump, it carries so hard). I wish there were more synths here though, as that felt the most 1984-coded to me. What’s not is Hot For Teacher. It sounds so corny and I can’t out of good faith bump it to a 4 (3.5).

Very catchy. Love the guitar playing and the synths are fun too.

Rockcito clásico entretenido Jump es un exitaso, en segundo lugar Hot for Teacher Una voz potente acompañada de potencia instrumental en cada momento Disfrutable, con justa razón es de los álbumes más escuchados y populares de la época del 84 Está bien, probablemente volveré a el cuando necesite de buen rock

Jump is great. The rest I take it or leave it.

This album rocks

Might as Well Jump, the shark. Don’t get me wrong. I liked and like this album. I just think Eddie should have stayed with guitars. I also imagine MTV and the videos for Jump and “Hot for Teacher” probably increased David Lee Roths already high opinion of himself that going solo was inevitable. Some great music here, especially if you look past the occasional juvenile bits. Misogyny is a given with the attitudes of the time, so you have to see past that. A good but not great. 3/5

Really energetic, was thinking around 4 stars since it felt slightly too much at first, but after more listens I liked it — giving it 5 stars, the music's just too good. Loved the intro, first track's a full synth instrumental, rich and beautiful, liked it a lot. Legendary tracks like "Jump" and "Panama", already knew those, nice to revisit. Saved "Panama" again since it turned out to be really memorable.

This album was _all over_ the radio when it came out. I suspect some 14-year-olds learned how Roman numerals worked because of the cover. The opening chords of "Jump" are instantly recognizable to me, and they very much evoke that time. Of the singles, I always preferred "I'll Wait."

After a good start it went downhill and was all a bit the same.

dad rock at its finest

Musicality- 0.7 Vocals - 0.6 Vibes - 0.4 Listen to again - 0.1 Execution - 0.6 Total - 2.4

this album successfully treads the fine line in hair-metal between good and extremely corny, impressively so. it doesn't feel very plastic, cheesy, or TOO disgustingly sexual, unlike many of the albums their pop metal peers were putting out at the time. the guitar work especially makes this record stand out, for sure. it's not quite a *great* album to me, but it's definitely good.

This is classic rock at its finest. EVH's guitar playing is up there with the best of them. Half of this album had some of rocks biggest hits. Blah blah blah ai could go on. I like this album, bit don't love it. I can't give it a 5 but I probably should.

back on track...ish really liked it

Pretty strong tracks, a real stadium band

pretty much feel the same way about this as with Guns N’ Roses and ac/dc; I think it’s good, but it’s not massively for me!

Hard to hate. The songs are so dumb that it's infectious. Panama is a standout because it's one of my son's favorite songs, mainly because it's named after a country.

Very few albums/songs will bring me back to such a specific time. The album being named after a year doesn't help. Watching on Mtv, every kid halving this half shirt. The crappy mirrors you could win at the county fair. This screams being 9 years old and for that reason I still love it.

The one where the influential guitar band turns to synths. I must say, the results here are not disasterous like with so many other 70's bands who saw themselves at a crossroads in the 80's. For Van Halen in fact, it provided the band a huge second wind in terms of popularity, with songs that became some of their most enduring hits. Simple straightforward fun rock music. Key tracks: Jump Panama Hot for Teacher

its van halen

It's hair metal, so it's gonna be sleazy. The playing is fantastic though. Appreciate the talent on display.

I had this album back in the day and it's pretty epic. You've got Jump, which is the radio classic, and Panama which is even better. Hot for Teacher is an epic tour de force for drumming and guitar. I'm not usually a huge synth fan, but I can see that they are going for a whole kind of dystopian 1984 sound here, and it works as a through line, whether it's intro track or I'll Wait. Not sure if it's Van Halen's absolute best album, but it damn near could be. 5/5

The first album that I actually wanted to listen to again. (In fact, I listened to it four times in a row.) Jump and Panama are flawless, no notes. I’ll Wait was the song that grew on me the most; not to say that it became my favorite. It’s in the bottom half. But the heavy synth opening reminded me of a Journey song. I would also love to hear a big band swing cover of Hot For Teacher.

SYNTH! The synth throughout the entire album is done amazing and especially in the intro. The group founded by a guitarist who is recognized for his incredible skill really found itself in their keyboardist on this record. In this one Van Halen really left their mark.

Funnn

Jump is a banger, Panama is catchy and EVH is a guitar legend so it’s got a lot going for it. It’s not my go to stuff but it’s a brief and energetic album so overall Pretty solid stuff 3.4

Brilliant songs and playing. Loved it as a kid and still love it now.

ah, yes. familiar through film

Embarrassingly fun to listen to

stupid

Does this genre age well? No. Does the singer still have this ability to sing like this? No. Do the members of the band get along? Definitely not. But is this one of the greatest and most popular albums of the 80s? EASILY! While some (including myself) may say that hair metal and glam metal is some of the worst aged music ever, I think this album is so perfect that it somehow ages gracefully. Is it a no skip album? Almost! The last two tracks on the album kinda ruin that, but it doesn’t take away from the album significantly. Honestly the only thing I disliked was the opening interlude. I’m not even sure why, maybe it’s because it’s old enough to have become iconic if it was a nearing but it just feels like filler. Seriously this is probably the best or second best Van Halen album. I want to keep my street cred and give this album a three but that’s a lie! This album is pure energy and it deserves the 5!

Exhilarating songs, and the guitar elevates everything.

Hideous neo-liberal dystopia. At least Orwell’s 1984 had songs.

Jump stands head and shoulders above the other tracks, but I’ll wait and Panama are also strong cuts. The remainder are pretty average.

Pop rock, love Jump, but found the rest a bit average at best.

no word

Not bad at all, classic hard rock of the age, not much to add to that 😎

No conocía la banda, Jump es una canción inconiquisima que nadie sabe cómo se llama. locooo

Musically great. Eddie Van Halen’s guitar imaging is insane. The album has a powerful, engaging sound. The only thing holding it back is the lyrics. Some of the songs are quite bad lyrically. Even so, I’m giving it a 4. If the lyrics were better in the b-sides, this could be a 5.

No good for me. I struggled to get through this LP. This album can go Jump... Also the artwork sucks - looks like AI made it back in 1984.

Classic, one of the best for this genre of hair metal, glam rock, whatever it's called. -1 star for Hot for Teacher, which is just too hard to listen to.

I appreciate that this album is technically awesome but can’t really get behind some of the sentiments

I've heard that David Lee Roth hated the keyboard direction this album took and it influenced why he left. If that's true, we might be kin, but I did enjoy parts of this

Many of the hits

Cherubs sucking down 40 darts a day--what a time to be alive. I forgot how good "I'll Wait" is. 5 keepers in 9 (56%). 3 stars.

Jump sucks so bad man... I've heard so many covers and all of them suck just as much as the original. So needless to say this album started out on a really rough foot and didn't get much better. Favorite(s): None Least: Jump Probably others but I forgor 1/5

Fav: Top Jimmy L: kind of all of them 1 Man, people really thought this was peak sound back in the 80’s. Jump has been wheeled out for so many advertisements since then. I don’t care for pretty much any part of this, for me the most interesting songs musically have the worst lyrics. If you like the sound then I guess there’s something here for you but to me this is just obnoxious. Actually the way I disliked the Fats Domino album is sort of how I feel about this one strangely enough, they’re both weird time capsules to times and places I feel no affinity or interest toward. Cover: 3 there’s something to think about here. Name: 3 if this didn’t come out in 1984 it would be way worse. Minecraft Parody: Enderman (Panama)

Van Halen really only has one thing to say. It's unfortunate because the consistently one-note lyrics are paired with consistently many-note synth riffs that are catchier than STDs. 2.5/5

So, hearmeout Ivegotthisideaforamusicvideo (sniff) thatinvolvesabunchofrockguysgoingtoPanamawithhotteachersandstuff (sniff, sniff) andtheteacherscanbeinbikinisandbehot anddidialreadysaythat? (Big, luxurious sniff) OhIfeelgreat!! (3/5) This is starting to lose its charm and I could see it beginning to lose its charm in 1984 as well. I know this was a monster hit and the album is a good enough example of hair rock during the period, but I have a limited well of patience for it. I attributed their first album (self-titled) to hyperactivity. I attribute this one to cocaine. No one has that much energy without some form of stimulants. It's the 80s and I'd bet it was cocaine.

Calling this "Metal," or even "Hard Rock," feels like a hate crime given the pop sensibilities and arena rock background here. It's also difficult as a Gen X kid to give this one a fair shake, as it was EVERYWHERE in my youth (including having worn a copy of the cassette out in my walkman), and there are a limited number of tracks that I'm not completely burned out on as a result. Maybe it doesn't hold up to scrutiny now, but the jean jacket wearing kid inside of me won't allow less than a 4/5 and a second play of as much as I can stomach.

190. 1984 - Van Halen (1984) 8.31.26 Variety: 4 Adequacy: 5 Listenability: 4 Uniqueness: 4 Emotionality: 3 = 4.0 Our second and final Van Halen album on the list, and not too long since we had the debut. That one ended up getting a 5 from me as it was a blast the whole way through, and held up pretty well. While I've heard several of the bigger hits from this one on the radio pretty consistently over the last 40+ years, I have to say I'm not as confident that the rest of it will stand the test of time. I like me some cheesy synths, but this one has a LOT of it. And if I recall, it's where the band transform into the caricature of themselves of the infighting, crass, drug-addled, yet super slick and commercially mainstream powerhouse. David Lee Roth's solo stuff would start coming out after this, and despite liking some of that quite a bit, I think it was all downhill from there. The less said about Van Hagar, the best I think. I'm looking forward to this one as I know it'll be a good time. "I think of all the education that I missed/ But then my homework was never quite like this" THE TRACKS Side one "1984" - Worth noting only in that it serves as a fine preview of the synth heavy, polished bit of gleaming studio production we're in store for. "Jump" - A classic in any era, untainted by the 80s synth sound that otherwise falls flat for so many other acts during this time who tried and failed to mix it with traditional rock instrumentation. When I was a kid this song felt big and epic and like some ort of super vitamin injection of positivity. Lyrically I think it's concerned with the micro - Diamond Dave wants to get laid, and this is his best spiel. At a macro level though this is BIG. How can you hear that synth breakdown after the guitar solo and not feel the vistas of possibility opening up before your very eyes. When the main synth melody comes in again at 3:05 - that is the cornerstone of the song. This song is awesome, and everyone knows it. Even the people who hate it because they hate life. "Panama" - If "Jump" was the band's New Deal of the 80s, with them declaring loudly that they have one foot firmly planted in the future then this is the calming reassurance that they haven't lost their edge and can still deliver some good times, some crunchy licks, and some sleazeball fun. I've mentioned a couple of songs in our reviews so far that are great driving songs - "Human Cannonball" by Butthole Surfers, "Kickstart My Heart" by Mötley Crüe - and this one hold's the Silver in my heart, just below AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill". And that's mainly due to the wonderfully smutty spoken word breakdown messes with the vibe just a tiny bit, car-related as it is. But the rest of it ( who doesn't crank the volume for that last bit?) is built for SPEED. Two all-time classics in a row. What a great start. Let's hope they don't run out of gas too soon. "Top Jimmy" - The energy on this one is out of control. The verses on this one might as well be the musical embodiment of a rocket-fueled flight down a hill of pure white Columbian snow. "Whatever the hell is a 'Top Jimmy'?" you might be tempted to ask. Well, Dave and the boys tell you exactly what and who this is. This is all very edifying, but it implies the existence of 1) a "Bottom Jimmy" ( what is HIS story and did his life just spiral downward to his current lot, or was he defeated in the battle of the bands that saw his rivals the Rhythm Pigs ascend? So many questions) and 2) the possible existence of at the very least a "Middle Jimmy" and maybe a whole ranking system for other more and less successful Jimmy's. Enquiring minds want to know. "Drop Dead Legs" - The band proving they can get as basic and stupid as the best of them. This sounds like the band taking a swing at, or possibly homaging AC/DC. Not quite as catchy ( or gloriously stupid) as the best AC/DC stuff, it at least does a decent enough job of keeping up. We'll just call it the album's first rest spot. Side two "Hot for Teacher" - Holy shit... Another certified classic. Of all of this song's finest qualities ( the catchy as hell sing-a-long vocals, Eddie's guitar solo, the general gloriously stupid vibes) it's Alex Van Halen's drums that will be forever burned into my brain. Dude is great on all of their songs, but this is calling card track I think. Amazing stuff. To truly appreciate this already great song, you just can't not watch the iconic music video. Some people might roll their eyes out the immature presentation and questionable subject matter, and they might be right to do so. And if it bothers you, that's a legitimate take, but you might have picked the wrong sort of musical list to dive into. For me, it works a s high camp. It's raunchy and childish, but it's also funny and weird, and pretty tame, even for the era. Go watch some W.A.S.P. videos and get back to me. "I'll Wait" - If "Jump" was Van Halen with one foot planted in the future, then this one is the second foot coming over to join it. It's SOOOO very 80s. Like this is "In the Air Tonight" 80s. This one is all driving synths and drums. Roth's voice even comes across as robotic here. And it's very cool. Of all the tracks on the album, this one has grown on me the most. Weirdly I don't think they did a music video for this one. "Girl Gone Bad" - Michael Anthony finally gets his moment in the spotlight here as the galloping bass line smashes through the noise and rises up above everything else. Otherwise though, it's as generic as you can get on here. There were a few parts that reminded me quite a bit of Rush. "House of Pain" - Not terrible by any means ( nothing on here is) but that first side especially is a LOT to live up to, and this was not the big finish I wanted it to be. If anything it's slightly watered down from what we got on the last track, both of which were very instrument heavy, almost like Diamond Dave needed to go "freshen up" for long sections. HIGHLIGHTS - "Jump" - "Panama" - "Top Jimmy" - "Hot for Teacher" - "I'll Wait" MIDLIGHTS - "Drop Dead Legs" - "Girl Gone Bad" - "House of Pain" LOWLIGHTS FINAL THOUGHTS "When we get to it, I'll have a lot of praise for 1984 as well, but I'm predicting this one will edge it out for me, if only just. This was a delight to revisit" - Me. Turns out I was pretty close. I do like this quite a lot still, and I think it has aged well enough. Considering all of the trend chasing, pop-forward pieces. It gets a bit saggy near the end, but three iconic songs on a single album release is more than most bands, including a lot of the classics on this list could ever ask for. This easily belongs on the list. It suffers in comparison with the first one because that feels perennially fresh to me, and there are a lot of dead ends here. Even just a few years later I think most hard rock bands had moved on past this sound, even if it did sound like the future in 1984. And as mammoth a success as it was, it signaled the band's death knell I think. And after a bad breakup the band rebounded with more success, but as a creative shadow of its former self. In my opinion. PLAYLIST ALTERATIONS - Keep it all, even the lesser material FURTHER LISTENING - Pyromania by Def Leppard - The Final Countdown by Europe - Crazy from the Heat EP by David Lee Roth - Slippery When Wet by Bon Jovi - Midnight Madness by Night Ranger - Night Songs by Cinderella

Finishing up Van Halen on the 1001 album list. For me, I’m of a certain age so the MTV music video for “Hot for Teacher” is burned into my mind. That is the track I think of when I think of Van Halen. I am aware they continued on after David Lee Roth left and the true heart of the band are the brothers, but they never felt as fresh as this line-up. “Jump” is a great song but it long ago passed the threshold of “I can leave that track in the past unless i really want to remember the 1980s.” Overall this album is sleazy fun but Van Halen is an act I’ve always appreciated without ever going crazy for. 4/5

This had some decent hits, but I found the overall experience too monotone to be very excited. Obviously strong talent, but doesn't really do it for me. 3/5

Being so honest, I did not know that 'Jump' was Van Halen. This was such an unexpected album for me in a really good way

thoughts: - jump right off the bat? okayyyyyy - hot for teacher? x2 for Glee covers

The trifecta of "Jump", "Panama" and "Hot For Teacher" earns this disk at least three stars, it's just a shame that the rest of the material lacks the magic of those tracks.

I don’t even know if the whole thing is good, I just kept listening to Jump and Panama on repeat all day.

50/50 on good songs. Amazing guitar playing, but uneven structure

Pretty good stuff.

Excellent. Some classics on here.

This one must have their most popular singles on it. We hear them all the time on classic rock radio and in movies. It's just a feel good fun time album from start to finish. Last album with David Lee Roth which would divide the fans and more keyboard synth heavy than previous albums yet it's still essential in the catalog. It's hard not to enjoy this one in all it's bombast and crystal clear production.

Not really something I’ll put on again, but at least now I kinda have a better idea about what Van Halen is.

Constantly full of life, exciting and energizing, and the hits feel even better with the rest of the album surrounding them. It's an uplifter

What a strong first half. Like most VH albums the second half contrasts quite a bit.

I’d like to start this by saying that I am the last person this album was made for. I am a Gen Z female. I listen to Slint, Slowdive, and Radiohead. The closest I get to arena rock is My Chemical Romance. That said, I actually really love Van Halen’s debut. Just an explosion of energy and fun. I also do play guitar, and while I think this brand of guitar solos are All The Egotistical Bad Things blah blah blah, I actually like Eddie Van Halen’s solos. He has enough skill to back them up—unlike all the EVH clones that swarmed the 80s with too much gain and the sloppiest, most cliched shredding you’ve ever heard. I also respect the Frankenstrat, of course. And I continue to appreciate a lot of things here that I appreciated about their debut. For one, it’s short—thirty-three minutes long, which is exactly the length a Van Halen album should be (a fact that they forgot about while making Van Halen III…) It also has some fantastic vocals from David Lee Roth, who continues to be one of the most energetic and exciting vocalists in all of hard rock. And, of course, EVH adds some awesome guitar work—but that’s a given. “Top Jimmy” has some of my favorite EVH guitar work, because I am a sucker for harmonics and weird tunings. I don’t even mind the synths that much. My weakness is 80s synth hooks, so I’m not mad at all. The album’s opener and title track has some excellent synth work, and so does “Jump.” That said, it’s always bothered me how the synth hook on “Jump” switches up almost a full octave after a couple repeats. It’s just ear-bleedingly high-pitched and throws the song off. Sadly, there are a lot of downsides. For one, “Panama” sounds like it was tailor-made for a car commercial. It would probably be my least favorite of their superhits, if it weren’t for the third superhit from this album, “Hot For Teacher,” which is more of a skit than anything. No big sing-along chorus or earworm at all. Honestly, it sailed its way to icon status off of shock value and teenage fanboys more than anything. And “Drop Dead Legs” is just…ugh. When Van Halen does innuendos, it’s fun at a party. But when they go completely on-the-nose? Then it’s just gross. Then there’s “I’ll Wait,” which has a boring melody and some awful lyrics—even by Van Halen standards. That said, it’s salvaged from being awful with some interesting synth and guitar work. “Girl Gone Bad” also has some awful lyrics, but I care a lot less because I could listen to EVH playing harmonics all day. It also has that fun part where everything gets really quiet, and the drums click away over a guitar solo that sounds like a broken car engine slowly roaring back to life. Also, what’s with the mixing? The vocals are buried under the guitar and sound like they’re coming from a completely different room. I get that Roth’s lyrics probably aren’t something you want attention called to, but his powerful voice most certainly is. What’s great about Van Halen is that they go all out in all the fun ways. This just goes all out in all the wrong ways while staying reserved when it shouldn’t. 80s hard rock cheese is fine and all, but dear lord, it was a genre Van Halen invented. 1984 just feels like it’s them falling into line with every other mediocre chart-topping band of the time. “Jump” is a classic, of course. I’d even go to bat for “Hot For Teacher,” now that it’s reached iconic status and there’s nothing we can do about it but sing along. But besides that, it’s just some interesting guitar work over commercial jingles. I’d only recommend this to people into arena rock or people really into guitar.

Guilty pleasure? 4 Boolean: True

An uninspired pervert’s lament

L’INTRO MI GASA. JUMP MI FA JUMPARE. IL RESTO DIMENTICABILE AL MASSIMO. LE POCHE ATMOSFERE STRUMENTALI INTERESSANTI ROVINATE DA UN CANTATO CHE TENDE ALL’ISRAELIANO. MI HA LASCIATO POCO. 2/5

Van Halen are a bit of a guilty pleasure but this is a legitimately great album (apart from the last couple of tracks that drag it down). They go heavy on the synth and it mostly works really well, some of their biggest songs are on this so worth the inclusion.

I wasn’t looking forward to this, and I’m afraid the album mostly justified my apprehension. It begins rather well. The title track is a lovely little 68-second burst of arcade-future synth, honestly, I felt like I was watching Pole Position II loading up in 1984, and it leads beautifully into “Jump”. And “Jump” is genuinely good. It doesn’t mean much, but who cares? The synth is used like a huge guitar riff, the hook is enormous and the whole thing is wonderfully economical. Eddie Van Halen mostly remembers that virtuosity works better when it serves the song than when everybody has to stop and admire it. There is one passage where the record suddenly puts on a cape and threatens to become ELP, but it recovers. Unfortunately, “Jump” increasingly feels like a Trojan horse. “Panama” can be summarised as VROOM SEX WIDDLY. It confuses cars and women for three and a half minutes while Eddie makes noises. “Top Jimmy” is much better: flashy pub rock about a locally famous singer, silly, affectionate and genuinely endearing until everything stops for the compulsory guitar demonstration. “Drop Dead Legs” returns us to women as anatomy. “Hot for Teacher” contains some excellent drumming before becoming a cartoon wolf whose eyes shoot out of its head because teacher is sexy. “I’ll Wait” brings the synths back but forgets to bring much of a song with them. That became the problem. These tracks often feel less like songs than substrates. Pick something sturdy enough, then stick Eddie’s pyrotechnics, Alex Van Halen’s drums and David Lee Roth’s leer on top. The playing is phenomenal. Christ, they can play. But the album keeps making sure I notice that they can play. And the lyrics are mostly just thick. I don’t need profundity from Van Halen. “Jump” proves that perfectly well. But if you’re going to be vapid, at least be funny, charming or gloriously stupid. Parliament can repeat nonsense until it becomes a whole world. AC/DC can make stupidity feel elemental. Van Halen too often make stupidity feel studied. There is also something very funny about four men with enormous hair, makeup and theatrical clothes spending so much lyrical energy reassuring everybody how tremendously heterosexual they are. They look like Bet Lynch’s backing band and sing as though a woman’s legs constitute a major philosophical discovery. The title track is good. “Jump” is an excellent pop single. “Top Jimmy” has charm. There are terrific bits of playing throughout. But mostly? VROOM SEX WIDDLY.

This is cornball shit.

Hot for teacher is an all timer

Full of 80s energy!

Jump was the only good song in it

It was ok. Some definite rest worms, but I just found it so juvenile. I know that's snobby, and that if I got into this as a teen it 20s then if be right into it, but that time has passed my by.

Literally 1984. I have irreversibly good memories of "Jump" associated with family members and friends playing that song a lot during summers while we were all out and about. So it's a privilege to be able to just put my blinders on and enjoy the song for what it is - a hair metal anthem with an insane hook. "Panama" is when the engines of this album stall out, and the rest of the album is an unfortunate free fall out of the sky. "Hot For Teacher" is a quick little backflip for style points, but in the end, it's still a fiery mess in a nosedive. Eddie Van Halen has a real presence that sticks with you. I'll admire him for that. And when the band finds a hook that sticks, it's a bona fide HIT. But so many of these tracks aren't hits, and also aren't willing to mess with the recipe enough to be considered innovative or even different at all, for lack of a better term. 2/5 they've got a solid greatest hits list, the normal albums aren't as easy to get through

Штош. Мало был знаком с творчеством Van Halen до этого, хоть и слышал довольно много разных мнений. В целом альбом скорее зашёл чем нет. Хоть на странице вики и указаны хард-рок и хэви-метал, всё-таки как по мне данный альбом больше запоминается именно глэм-металом. Так часто где-то слышал Jump даже не зная авторства, что как мне кажется это самый хайповый трек альбома, долго думал хочу я его добавить потому что он известный или потому что нравится. Всё-таки второй вариант. Дополнительно добавил Panama. 8.5/10

Твердая 4. Топ-1 - Hot for teacher Топ-2 - Jump

Of all the deeply beautiful, poetic lines and lyrics in the musical universe, “I don’t feel tardy” will always remain one of my favorites. I can’t count how many times I went “aw man, I think the clock is slow” in school. This has been a long standing member of my vinyl collection, and though I don’t think it’s quite as good as their self titled album, it is still very good and a lot of fun to listen. They’re a perfect middle ground between the rock and roll that came before, and the further end of 80s hair rock that guys like Kiss, Motley Crue or Def Leppard occupied. Eddie Van Halen is a master, but his brother on drums is not to be forgotten — that man rips and rolls right along. It will always be Van Lee Roth to me, I don’t think I’ve listened to a minute of Van Hagar. You’ve got three really good songs on this album (Panama, Hot For Teacher, Jump), but much like let it bleed, they’re such heavy hitters that it makes this album legend. There are a few other tasty tunes sprinkled in (Top Jimmy, Drop Dead Legs both rip), but those three are classics, and man is Hot for Teacher a fun listen, plus that drum line thats confused drummers for decades is so dope. Great pick, great listen, great album, great band. I’ll also note that the listen on vinyl is vastly different from streaming…completely different album and sound…man does it rip on the table. I brought my pencilllllll….gimme something to write on!

Hardcore Halen-head harbors hatred, however, heaviness here healed his heated heart! Hackneyed hits hurt, however.

After changing the guitar world forever Eddy just decided he was going to bring keyboards and synths to the forefront and make them great again, while keeping the Van Halen formula of happy cheery sounding music that appealed to most crowds. Short and sweet, straight to the point and another one in this band's list of classic albums.

Isn't this just pretty good fun? Don't think it is anything extraordinary but an entertaining listen. Van Halen can get 3 stars.

Obviously, the guitar work on this is second to none, really delicious stuff. But other than that, this can never be more than 3 stars for me it just doesn't mean that much to me 2.9

An arena rock classic. Eddie can absolutely shred! 3.5

Eddie Van Halen at his multi instrumentalist phase

this is about the point where VH went from cool guitar rock to shitty 80s pop for me

This is my dad’s favorite band, and thankfully he wasn’t a deadbeat dad — so for that, and that alone, I’ll give this a 2

4.5 all the hits.

Some fun songs, especially the singles I already knew. Eddie Van Halen’s guitar work is of course impressive.

Прикольный рокешник, но немножка староват Некоторые треки цепляют олдовым звучанием и старым роком, но остальные просто средненькие Прикольна но переслушивать не буду, максимум пару треков 3.5/5

When it comes to glam metal my test for how good the music is comes down to how fast it makes me wanna speed, and every song here makes me wanna go 90 in a school zone. All the tracks have this immense badass energy to them and absolute killer speed (even on the slower tracks for some reason), and David Lee Roth kills it on vocals not to mention the fucking legend that is EVH. Favorite tracks on here are top Jimmy, hot for teacher, Panama, and drop dead legs

I hate Van Halen, but Panama and Hot For Teacher are bangers.

EVH is an excellent player but not a good song writer. DLR sucks all around. Still significantly better than Mariah Carey’s bullshit though.

Super cheese. Evokes middle aged male divorcé who felt most himself at 17.

excellent album cover + points for stylized title. more points for jump. everything else was okay!

I lost interest after Jump.

Album #245 Van Halen: 1984 It must be pretty jarring for Van Halen fans, who presumably adore the band for their one-of-a-kind rapturous guitar work, to turn on one of their albums and immediately be greeted by a synthesizer. Though I enjoy early Van Halen, I’d hardly consider myself a die-hard fan, and their style of really fast and technical guitar playing has never been what I’m drawn to. I much prefer the slower, more rhythmic riffs that you’d find from Television or Dire Straits. Synthesizers, on the other hand, I love, so really this should be the Van Halen album for me, but for as much as I’d love to love it, it really is just pretty good. Jump is a song which is pretty important to me, as it was one of the first songs that I can remember loving and playing to death, and whenever I listen to it I remember a lot of pivotal childhood memories. Panama is probably the other track in which I would say I have strong feelings for, and it still goes hard to this day. But honestly? The rest of the tracklist is just kind of there. It’s good enough and solid, but nothing that I’d be dying to relisten to. I’m never going to complain about thirty minutes of high-octane fun, but I’d be lying if I said I hold this album in especially high regard. Best Songs: Jump, Panama, I’ll Wait Worst Song: Top Jimmy Score out of 10: 7

Not my cup of tea. Maybe I just like certain songs in Hair Rock. A full album such as this leaves me a little cold. Pleasant enough but doesn’t butter my parsnips. 2/5.

I mean yeah it's fine. Kinda whatever

It's alright

muy guay

Excelente

I expected to hate this, but thought it wasn’t bad at all.

Baby baby baby

intros too long for me

5/5, absolute 80’s nonsense and I’m here for every second of it. “Jump” is a TUNE

Decent album with some really good guitar solos

Mulla on ollut jotenkin tosi outo ennakkokäsitys, etten pitäisi Van Halenista. Mistä lie oon imeny sellasen ajatuksen, sillä tää oli kyllä juuri taas nappiin sitä mikä mieltä ja korvaa miellyttää. Kun edellisestä albumista valittelin että liian pitkä, niin tää oli mulle jopa vähän liian lyhyt. Yllätyin kun se loppui. Teki mieli pistää heti uudestaan soimaan, joten se puhukoon puolestaan.

Tykkäsin! Ei mitään aivan sairaan mieleenpainuvaa mutta soi nytkin päässä jump. Se on ollu mun elämän kulmakivibiisi jollain tavalla aina samalla tavalla ku muutkin kasaribängerit. Oli menevää ja hauskaa. Suussasulavaa.

Teininä kun pärähdin tukkaheviin – ja tietty myös Van Haleniin – aattelin että tää levy on vähän kökkäre. Musta erityisesti Van Halenin debyytti oli kovaa kamaa ja tää oli liian pop, liian synavetonen ja liian sellout. Tää levy oli käänteentekevä hetki metallimusalle ja nosti tukkaheviä ihan eri tavalla näkyviin MTV:llä, jonka myötä osasin arvostaa tän olemassa oloa (ja siis toki esim. Hot for Teacher bängäs). Mut nyt vuosia myöhemmin tää tuntukin ihan eri levyltä. Ei tää ees ollu niin synakuorrutettu tai pop, vaan täähän oli aika paahtoa! Hyviä biisejä vaikka kuinka, eikä siirappista lällyilyä oikein missään. Tässä yhdistyy hyvin Van Halenin vanha saundi ja kasarin muoti-ilmiöt, ilman että se tuntuu pakotetulta tai päälleliimatulta. Eli täähän olikin oikeestaan tosi hyvä, jee!

Onhan tässä ny aivan älytöntä kitarointia, huh huh :D Tässäkin levyssä hittibiisit oli varmaan parhaat palat ainaki näin eka kuuntelulla, mutta kaiken kaikkiaan erittäin bängeri levy.

Uhhhh! 🔥Huomaan et oon kuluttanut Van Halenia lähinnä kokoelmalevyinä, mut aika monta biisiä on tältä ollut niillä edustettuna. Tiukkaa uhmaa ja vähän vaaran tuntua tossa armottomassa tykittelyssä, mut upeasti pysyy lopulta kasassa. Vähän ehkä vikat biisit liikaa samoista palikoista eikä ihan niin kovaa enää pärise kuin levyn alkupää niin lopulta tooooooosi niukasti nelosen puolelle kuitenkin 🥲

Kelpo rokin räimettä, mutta tuskin tulen tän pariin isommin palaamaan. Jump on musta vähän jotenkin puhkikulunut.

tää oli just täydellistä muuttomusiikkia, mutta en tiedä että mitä muuta se sitten voisi olla

Overall - 68 This type of music is just not really for me unfortunately title track is easily my fav 1. 1984 - 72 2. Jump - 73 3. Panama - 68 4. Top Jimmy - 78 5. Drop Dead Legs - 76 6. Hot for Teacher - 71 7. I'll Wait - 63 8. Girl Gone Bad - 58 9. House of Pain - 73

Album 281. 1984 (https://open.spotify.com/album/3REUXdj5OPKhuDTrTtCBU0?si=BBt3CPd8TI6GcOMLWQiKDw) — Van Halen (1984) Classic hard rock album, classic 80s. Sometimes boring, overall great and lasts not so long 4/5 Liked: — Jump — Panama — Hot for Teacher

Pretty fun good pop anthems, quick listen for a quick pissin'

so american and so 80s

I dig this album, lots of classic rock tracks. Plus it was the year I was born.

Fun fun fun Welcome to the fungle

Hair metal is a pretty crap genre of music in general. This album isn't as bad as say, Aerosmith, but it's still not good. At least it was short.

9/10 best song - girl gone bad

It's impossible for me to be objective about this album. It was too fundamental to my teenage years. Sorry not sorry.

Når

Delicious 80s cheese.

Yes Eddie can play guitar but the the mix is atrocious. Drums sound like microwave popcorn, singing and general vibe is cringe. Should be left behind in the 80s where it belongs

Is this as bad as Van Halen's other album on the list, which I reviewed earlier? I think it is. The only thing about this album that interests me is EVH's guitar technique - it's kinda impressive but not always deployed to any relevant effect - and when his pyrotechnics are paired with a shitty song, the outcome is still a shitty song. The lyrics are bad or very bad, I take particular exception to Hot for Teacher (including for the inane drum intro). It's Bad, 1/10.

I put this a 4 mainly because of the memories it brings and the ubiquity of it at the time, I owned the cassette and liked the whole thing. Still sounds good bringing the david lee fun with the Alex riffs.

I own this record and CD. Have listened many times. In my top 50 of all time. The cold open with 1984 right into the fade to jump is so sick. One of the best transitions of any album ever. Cant say enough good things about jump. That keyboard riff is so recognizable. Really easy to sing along to. And obviously an awesome guitar solo as well. Then following it up with Panama, another all time classic. This one’s all about the guitar. Drums are sick too I guess. Awesome sounds to open up top jimmy. This one doesn’t get the shine of the first two but it’s another really cool song. Good writing on this one. They just know how to do cool things with a guitar. Drip dead legs is good not great. Nothing incredible about this one like the first few. Good guitar riff on it. Drums on hot for teacher 🔥🔥🔥. And then the sick guitar riff immediately follows. This is arguably the best all around song on the album. Really catchy and great backing track. Again, love the sounds to open I’ll wait. Another underrated banger. Really like the vocals and lyrics on this one. Fun chorus. I really like how they open with the solo on girl Gina bad. This one isn’t as catchy but the drums and guitar are so good again. Throughout this album it’s so cool how the vocals and guitar work so well together. Middle guitar solo is even better than the one to open. Good not great closer in house of pain. It’s catchy and has an awesome guitar, I think I’d just prefer something like hot for teacher or I’ll wait to really go out with a bang. It’s an awesome album nonetheless. I will listen many more times. 4.7/5 stars, could’ve used a little more variety for the 5.

A hair band classic? I knew a few songs. This was probably good on its day.

pure 90's vibe and banger couple of songs. immortal album

Why hello synth, the album name is incredibly apt. This album just sounds so 80's haahah. I actually knew the first song though which was surprising, definitely in some movie I'd seen. A really short album, 9 songs and only just over half an hour. A fun sound, but not really my thing. Some very cool riffs/lyrics at points.

Kort og ikke veldig givende

Egentlig tullemusikk, dette, kun laget for å vise at de kan spille. Jump er ikonisk, men også veldig cheesy.

Egentlig tullemusikk, dette, kun laget for å vise at de kan spille. Jump er ikonisk, men også veldig cheesy.

I like absolutely nothing about this album.

Det er ikkje det at eg får så veldig mykje meir ut av dette, enn at eg blir litt gladare. Men det er nok det i blant. Eddie Van Halen er veldig lett å lika, David Lee Roth ikkje så. Kult at det lett såpass powertrio av dei som det faktisk gjer - tiåret tatt i betraktning.

Husk å gi denne karakteren 1. Barnslig cover.

Bortsett fra noen heftig bra gitarriff er det lite å hente her.

Bortsett fra Jump, som er ganske søplete den også, er det virkelig ingenting her. Uforståelig at dette solgte i store mengder. Et av verdens verste band.

i like the guitars, but nothing much

This album is great, thank god they rip, cause 10 songs about how hot women are would generally not be it 4.1/5

Pretty nice, solos are good, Jump sound pretty familiar

Grew up with a lot of these tracks as a kid that listened to a ton of classic rock - Hot for Teacher sounds great even 40 years after release. Not the best VH album, but still pretty damn good.

This is a decade defining rock album. As much as I hate to say it, this encapsulates the 80s better than the Cure, the Replacements, the Smiths, New Order, etc. Definitely a bit over-produced for my liking, but again that was the 80s for ya. Favorite track: Panama

Pretty solid mid 80s album. Eddie Van Halen's guitar work is sorely missed today. Diamond Dave. Hot for Teacher is an underrated track, clock is slow, I don't feel tardy being an underappreciated line. Panama, Jump the ubiquitous singles back in the day. Good stuff. Not going to overthink the rating, with I'll Wait tipping from 3 to 4.

man i really needed this album today. not because it’s incredible or life changing, but because the songs are simple and to the point. “Hot For Teacher” still kinda creeps me out tho

This is wonderful. Fun and energetic.

It's okay in a kind of corny, don't take it too seriously kind of way. Like, I can imagine them thinking they're really heavy and cool, when they're dressed like moms and playing soft pop music with guitars. It's like the kind of thing kids would listen to at a pizza party in the 80s. Like the Transformers movie soundtrack. It's undeniably lame. Naff. Corny. They'd unironically call someone a hot mama or a cool cat. But I love that for them. Very well performed mid music. Not bad, not great. But they seem to be having fun and it's harmless. Something in my brain just can't compute people actively choosing to listen to this or thinking it's cool.

Driving around in my firebird to this

Good hits, the rest is kinda meh

eh. mislio sam da će biti lošije, ovako je samo srednja žalost. smiješno mi je da je ovo opisano kao »metal« i »hard rock« kad je riječ o izrazito komercijalnom roku s generičnim sintićima iz osamdesetih... sve u svemu bezveze, barem je kratko, ne treba trošiti previše riječi na ovo

***An ok album

This album is exactly what you'd expect from van Halen. Just good times

Although ”Jump“ and “Panama” have found their rightful place in the annals of rock history, I think this album struggles with the A-Side/B-Side trap

Ripping solos on this one! 5 outta 5 for the guitar but the rest has highs and lower highs

meest amerikaanse album so far

5/10 Van Halen are kind of a weird band in that the focus is so much on Eddie Van Halen's guitar prowess, rather then the vocalist. Obviously everyone contributes, but Eddie's really the star turn. As one of a swathe of hair metal bands that came to prominence in the early 80s, Van Halen very much had Eddie's virtuosity as their ace card. Interestingly, this record is really where Eddie stepped outside of that guitar focus and started to get stuck in to the use of synthesisers. It's not all over the album, of course, but I think there's a strong argument that the best riff on the whole thing is the main synth line from Jump. The record really does kick off in style, with a cool synth intro before slamming straight in to that superb slice of 80s pop rock. It's stuffed full of hooks and great sounds and gets things off to an impressive start. Unfortunately, the standard of the record almost immediately slides when we hit Panama. It's ok, but there's not anything particularly stand-out about it. And that's kind of how the record progresses. It often has the attitude and swagger of heavy 80s party music, but on closer inspection, it often lacks the killer riff or hook that would elevate each track beyond being something fairly average. We do get some great moments of instrumental work, with Eddie giving us some solid riffs and solos in various places, but there's not much in the way of top tier central motifs for the songs to really hang on to. For a record that only clocks in at 33 minutes, it feels like there's way too much filler and not enough killer and, for a cocaine fuelled party rock band, it somehow rarely manages to actually present the fun, if cheesy, heart that hair metal lives and dies on. It's a shame, because I really wanted to like this, and as a background listen it wasn't too bad, but ultimately, I don't really feel the need to listen to this again,outside a couple of standout tracks in Jump and Hot For Teacher. Say it quietly, but is it the case that the new wave of hair metal inspired bands, who came at things with tongues firmly wedged in cheek, actually do it better? I'd definitely stick on The Darkness or Steel Panther over this. 1984 - Eddie's got himself an Oberheim OB-Xa and he's not afraid to use it. This is a cool intro with excellent 80s analog synth programming. It's harmonically rich and tonally interesting, as well as being a perfect lead up to... Jump - An 80s classic. It's kind of funny that one of the most iconic riffs by a band built around the guitar skills of Eddie Van Halen is performed on a synthesiser. It's a great song, and that Oberheim riff is so good. It's cheesy and fun, not compositionally complex, but great regardless. Panama - We're now well and truly in the land of hair metal. It's not the most exciting of songs, if I'm being honest. There are some decent moments, but for me, they didn't manage to find any particularly strong hooks, or even any spectacular guitar moments, so this one just drifts by. Top Jimmy - There's a much better drive and attitude to this one. The guitar harmonic use adds an interesting variety in texture between the sections. Structurally, it's a little meandering in places, mostly the chorus, oddly enough, but it's not bad and gathers things together. Solid guitar solo here too. Drop Dead Legs - This is more like it from a riff point of view. It's got a lazy swagger to it and a cool rhythmic flow. I'm still struggling to find much in the way of a hooky chorus or melody to cling on to. There's some pretty fun guitar work, as you'd expect, but as a song it kind of falls a bit flat. Hot For Teacher - I'm back on board now. Some rapid, enjoyable drum work kicks us off and then we kick in to some red hot riffage. Again, super cheesy, super 80s, but they've conjured up some great hooks, lovely little guitar motifs and this is the best vocal performance on the record since Jump. Thematically, it's probably not aged well, but as an example of the genre, it's pretty damn great. Get out my leopard print leggings, it's time to party. I'll Wait - There's some very 80s production and synth programming here. The pace has dropped off quite a bit, and while it feels fairly coherent and there are some decent melodic motifs, it's not the most exciting piece of songwriting. Not terrible, just a bit bland. Girl Gone Bad - The drums here are excellent. Lots of drive and a great groove. The interplay between guitar and vocal in the verse is pretty damn good too. We get a good slice of Van Halen guitar soloing, but things do kind of grind almost to a halt after that. Unfortunately, there's not a strong chorus to be found here, so despite some of the good work, it feels lacking in centre and a bit aimless. House Of Pain - The musicianship across this record has been very good, but I've found it to be lacking in many really strong hooks or choruses to hang the songs off. This is another example, where the component parts are decent, but the song itself just doesn't deliver in terms of being all that interesting or engaging. It's a bit of a shame really.

Some classics, Jump, Panama, Hot For Teacher, all making the playlist. But I was never as into them as most were.

Great albums. I mean, how epic and iconic is Jump? Panama just scorches. Hot For Teacher is raucous fun. I"ll Wait is an epic soindscape, and any of the remaining tracks could have just as easily become a hit single. What an epic album and such an iconic slice of the 80's zeitgeist.

Doubted between 3 and 4 stars. The album is short, it’s kitsch, it’s nothing new. But still, it has Jump which is an eighties anthem. Panama needs no introduction and Eddie kills it on Hot for Teacher. Fuck it, I’m in a good mood. Four stars.

Januar bis Anfang September 2026 ~ ein Mosaik an Momenten ~ Im Januar beim Solo Album Projekt gehört. Diverse Momente im Spätsommer - Zeltplatz beim Sägewerk, verschiedene Busse und Bahnen, beim Sport.

Samstag 05.09.2026 Auf der Bank im Ottopark und diversen Bibliotheken der FU (sue me)

sockfire, 10 yrs old, with 3 friends lurking in an alley and dipping rhubarb staks in sugar, gathered around a battery-powered tape player listening to a hot new album: Van Halen - 1984. It was a precious moment, full of life and opportunity. The world was ours for the taking. sockfire, 51-yr-old, sitting in his underpants at the breakfast table reviewing a draft legal brief with Van Halen-1984 crooning in the background compared…unfavourably.

I fckn hate this shit so much, yet I don’t have the bottle to give it a one star. What have I become?

I don't feel tardy

My favs are “jump” and “ house of pain” really cool 80s instrumentals a good time overall

Album #153: Van Halen – 1984 ⭐⭐⭐ I’d never listened to Van Halen before. Not to be a music snob or anything, but the reason is simply that I never got into them when I was a young kid, and I’ve never really seen why I’d suddenly get into them as a grown man. They just don’t strike me as my sort of band. On top of that, I’ve always hated Jump, and listening to it again today, I still hate it. I think it’s got some of the cringiest lyrics imaginable. I’m all for positive songs, and I probably don’t listen to enough positive music myself, but what the fuck is that song actually about? What is he talking about? So the album gets off to a pretty rough start for me with the cheesy synth intro and Jump. It really picks up in the middle, though. This album is getting its three stars almost entirely because I’d never really sat down and listened properly to Eddie Van Halen’s guitar playing before. And fuck me. It is outrageous. He is so unique. I’ve genuinely never heard anything quite like it. By the time you get to Top Jimmy, the guitar playing is just spectacular. It’s so inventive, so unusual, and so technically ridiculous. I play a bit of guitar myself, but I couldn’t play a solo to save my life, so maybe I’m not the best judge. Still, I genuinely have no idea how he’s making those sounds. With someone like Jimi Hendrix, you can at least follow what he’s doing to some extent. Eddie Van Halen’s playing just feels… unbelievable. One thing I do like is that his playing seems to push the rest of the band into slightly stranger territory. There are little rhythmic changes, odd musical turns, and moments that probably wouldn’t exist if they had a more conventional guitarist. Without Eddie, I think this would just be fairly bog standard stock jock rock. My biggest issue is the tone of the album. The whole thing just feels like one big masturbation session. David Lee Roth spends most of the album obsessing over women. It’s girls’ legs, it’s his teacher, it’s his porn magazines… It gives the whole album an air of wankery that I just don’t find very interesting. It’s juvenile, creepy and gross. It’s a full blown album about wanking. At least it’s not pretentious. Sorry for painting such a vulgar picture, but that’s honestly how the album came across to me. What I’d really love is to hear is Eddie Van Halen in a completely different context. Maybe this is a pretentious thing to say, but I’d love to hear him playing in something more avant-garde, like Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band. Not to take anything away from Zoot Horn Rollo, who was incredible in his own right, but hearing Eddie’s guitar playing in that sort of environment would be fascinating. It’d be potentially a lot more interesting than hearing him in a hard rock band singing almost exclusively about women and sex. Sadly, he is dead, so that’s not going to happen. A light three stars, but I did enjoy it overall.

This album is just fun and a good time all around. If you don’t like it you are missing out. Not gonna win any awards but a solid 4/5

"Hot For Teacher" is really great. I'm a teacher so I have to keep my opinion of that song to myself because I don't want to seem pervy and unethical, but it really is a great rock song. The drums, the guitar, Roth's vocals, that iconic video... it's so delightfully 80's, and the juxtaposition of superb musicianship and cheeky, playful lyrical tone is fantastic.

3.5

Idk whatever

5/10 I liked Panama and Jump, the others were mostly self indulgent over the top solos that all end up melting into one giant monotonous cacophony of noise. Saved by 3 good songs.

4/10 = i didn't totally hate it but i really don't think i'd listen to it again, it was so extremely 80s so i imagine i'll hear it in a soundtrack at some point and be like wow, some nice guitar riffs

pretty nice album and definitely listenable!!

I'm not a big fan of hard rock, so overall this wasn't my favorite, but I distinctly remember Hot for Teacher from Guitar Hero World Tour - that opening guitar solo is cool as hell and the track drives forward like a freight train. Super cathartic. Jump has of course become the biggest hit on the record. It's just OK for me, but I can get with the very 80s synth riff.

I anticipated this being slighter than their debut. And it is. Shorter. Poppier. More gimmicky. More gimmicky that the clownish extravaganza of their debut? Yes, there are synths. Although the synths only dominate the silly opening of the record. And back in on I'll Wait. Beyond that, VH traverse the range of rock that inspired them and that they inspired. There are only nine songs. It's a narrow range. Still, if they sound like ACDC on Drop Dead Legs, they sound better than ACDC - more charismatic, more of a band. Dave may be a clown, but that's better than a boor. Eddie may be all over the show, but at least there is a show, rather than Angus Young's plod. Hot For Teacher is better - more nuanced?! more fun? - than anything by Motley Crue. It's frantic and desperate, but oddly charming. I don't know if it means much to be the best at something that is fundamentally unsavoury, but I wouldn't take it away from them. 2.5 We had Tortoise a few days ago, an act I suggested were in obvious need of a singer. Their defenders would declare that Tortoise are ‘Post-Rock’ but I reject this explanation. ‘Pre-Singer’ is what Tortoise are. Anyway here’s Van Halen, by contrast a band who are in desperate need of getting rid of their singer. Eddie Van Halen is very, very good at guitar. He may even be underrated. I think there is a general tendency to reduce him to the mere originator of party-trick guitar shredding - highly influential in this dubious genre, arguably even supreme, but essentially the Chief of a tribe of witless, artless, perpetually adolescent, musical onanists. The musical equivalent of Ralph in Lord of the Flies. In fact, as his playing on 1984 shows, Van Halen is a deeply creative player, capable of restraint, of light and shade. His riffs are terrific and his solos more thoughtful and more beautiful - more musical - than the common association of Van Halen with mere speed and scooping recognises. When he retreats to picking chords or just playing rhythm there is still a relaxed elegance in his playing that is deserving of close attention. Which is why it is so irksome to find David Lee Roth panting like a dog at every turn. I am not putting down DLR as a frontman or even as a vocalist - he has character, energy and strength enough as a singer. But where Eddie’s lines are elegant, thoughtful and original - DLR’s melodies are leaden, square and cliche all the way. His lyrics, entirely wince inducing, are just further baggage that EVH, a genius however it looked in the end, has to carry. I would like to hear a mix of 1984 without the singer. ‘…in the middle of them, with filthy body, matted hair, and unwiped nose, Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy. The officer, surrounded by these noises, was moved and a little embarrassed. He turned away to give them time to pull themselves together; and waited, allowing his eyes to rest on the trim cruiser in the distance.’ 2/5

Forever a Van Halen fan. RIP Eddie

I’m not trying to be contrary or controversial in my markings with this. The musicianship is good. The vocals are OK. If I heard a band playing this in a bar I would tap my feet and nod my head. I might even enjoy bits.I might even nod if it was on the radio or jukebox. It isn’t offensive to my ears. It is just that I would NEVER reach for this if it was on my shelf. It does nothing for me emotionally and I can’t ever imagine playing this by choice. There isn’t a single track I’d put in a compilation or playlist.

Ok

um álbum inteiro baseado em guitarrinha chorando e tap maluco fora o fato de ser glam (que eu odeio) conseguiu ser pior do que eu tava esperando dito isso, JUMP (tan tan tan tan tantantantatna)

acho que eh o ponto alto da carreira desses mano aí né glamzinho medíocre, mas pelo menos foi um pouco mais divertido que o outro deles que passou por aqui. sou suspeito porque INFELIZMENTE jump vem nos meus pensamentos mais vezes do que eu gostaria. mas eh, kid abelha estava certo, os solinhos de guitarra NÃO me conquistaram.

Jump always reminds me of the Glee episode where they film the commercial for the mattress store and sing Jump while jumping from mattress to mattress, which makes me smile. Panama is a song I recognized but never would have known was by Van Halen. 3.5 rounded down.

Not really a big fan of this band, but my sister dragged me to a concert in the mid-to late 80’s and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. They were energetic, great musicians, interacted well with the fans, and played for a long time. A most pleasant surprise. The opening acts were Bachman-Turner Overdrive and Steve Winwood. This album has 3 “hits” that were all huge because of MTV — Jump, Panama, and Hot for Teacher. Jump is a classic and the others were hits because of the videos. Pretty horrible lyrics, but a lot of fun overall. 3.5 rounded up for the concert. Also, weird coincidence — today I started watching “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” from 1989 (hey, it’s on The Criterion Channel) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) wears a Van Halen t-shirt throughout.

The first track was great: understated, brief, devoid of David Lee Roth. It’s everything I want in a Van Halen song. Then “Jump” started. And, here’s the thing about “Jump.” I didn’t quite realize how “Jump”-less my life had been for so long. I’m middle-aged now. I don’t frequent the worst kinds of bars. I don’t attend sporting events where the PA announcer is imploring us to “get loud.” My friends’ wedding-DJ budgets now exceed “pure hack” level. So, it’s probably been years since I’ve heard “Jump.” But when that synth riff kicked in, the Jumplessness of my life came into full view, as my ears were assaulted by noise they wrongly believed they’d left behind at some college dive bar. You don’t realize how good you’ve had it, all these Jump-less years, until you’re forced, once again, to listen to Jump. It was like Proust’s madeleines but if those madeleines were made of shit. Panama: guitar great, rest meh, skip I’m trying to give the remainder a chance because I’m positive I’ve only heard three songs off this album before today. And, hey, I feel like Drop Dead Legs rewarded that patience. I like that one. Hot for teacher is another “great guitar, rest meh” song. Of the three big singles off this album, I’d have to say it’s my favorite. Oh, I’ll Wait sounds familiar too? Don’t hate this one either. Look at you, Van Halen! You might just earn a 2 here! Girl Gone Bad sounds like they needed another song for the album and they were told to improvise for four minutes without discussing what they were going to do ahead of time. House of Pain sounds like that but this time they were allowed to discuss their plans. Okay so my three favorite songs on this are the knockoff AC/DC song (drop dead legs), the lyrically indefensible song (hot for teacher), and the one that sounds the least like the others (I’ll wait — I guess it technically sounds a lot like 1984, but I’m not counting 1984). I think finding three songs I kinda like, though, is enough to save this from a 1.

fun :)

This album is incredibly stupid, the lyrics are dated, it's a real snap shot of 80s American culture. It is also however fun, so well executed and frankly life's too short to get het up over. Lean in and don't fight it.

It was huge. Huge. It put VH at another level. The tour was massive. On top of the world and unable to get along or agree where to go next. It is a huge album in every way. Nearly a perfect pop-rock record. It hit at the right time in the right place.

i enjoyed this one. it feels pretty cheesy being as unabashedly 80s as it is but it's still a good sound and a good energy. i like the synths whenever they show up and the driving drums and wailing guitar riffs give it a feel that's surprisingly close to crush 40’s contributions to the soundtracks of mid 00s sonic games, especially on the faster paced tracks. although maybe i was just primed to think that by the album opening with the exact same sound as "live and learn". hmmm..... anyway i guess my favourite track is between "panama" and "girl gone bad" but the quality is pretty stable throughout so there's not much of a power gap between songs. tbh i could see it starting to drag if it went longer but it's only a half hour long so. its just kinda fuckin good!

S Best isch s Cover und s zweit Best d Riffs.

Its an easy listen for people that dont listen to 80’s music or hard rock in general you can just easily jump into it and have an enjoyable experience

My immediate instinct was to mash 5 stars when I saw the angel on the cover and flashed back to being a teenager. And it largely holds up. The high points -- Jump, Panama, I'll Wait, HFT, and Drop Dead Legs still sound as devilishly tight as they did back then. But man...the rest of the album is honestly filler. I was wondering why I didn't have much of a recollection of Girl Gone Bad and House of Pain -- and it's probably because I was already turning the tape over after I'll Wait finished. That said, the authors of the one-star "this is just sucky dad rock" reviews will never know a moment of true happiness.

Short and sweet, but their debut is better

170726 21:19 2.5

I've never been the biggest fan of Van Halen, and my listen of this album confirms why. The poppy and glammy feel of the songs is not my style, and while the guitar work is impressive, it feels stale and outdated just like blues guitar. I can imagine it hitting harder upon its release in the 80s, but outside of the context of the 80s, it feels bland.

The last great album they made with David Lee Roth. Almost as good as their debut album.

Wanted more. Some big hits though

Me ha gustado en general. 7/10

Eh, 80s rock never did a ton for me. No denying the talent and the amount of play that some of these tracks got on the radio made them part of the musical lexicon for me. The rest of the tracks on this album are fine but nothing stand out.

The swagger and casual sexism of '80s hair metal meets the synthesizer. The Van Halen brothers remain masters of their respective instruments, harmonies and arrangements are strong throughout, and David Lee Roth's voice is excellent when he's not just gasping and squeaking. Four killer hits plus four filler songs of varying quality ("Girl Gone Bad" being my favorite of them) = four stars.

Blew my mind as a 13-year old in 1989. Still great today

Super great drums and guitars. I was vibing hard with this the whole time and liked it a lot more than I expected to

Rock music

É divertido, mas fazia mais sentido na minha adolescência...

Truly all bangers. I can see why this regularly makes 'best albums' lists

Van Halen really doesn’t do much for me despite having a few catchy songs. Way too much guitar.

While Eddie is a guitar god, this album is just trash. Van Halen had some great music but this 80s drivel highlighted by the misogynistic Hot For Teacher should be removed from distribution in my opinion. As a child of the 80s it pains me to say that some music should never have been made and released and this is on that list.

Peak 80s rock, cheesy and fun, but also terribly dated. Apart from the main hits (and a couple of nice guitar solos), I find it really hard to listen today. I semi-enjoyed playing the full record, but I will certainly never listen again. 3/10

Still great musicians, especially Eddie, but the party-rock vibe doesn’t do much for me. There are some killer moments, yet it never reaches the impact of the debut, which had better songs and felt fresher from start to finish. So much better than Def Leppard though.

Album #61 - this may be the first where I *fully* and intimately know it start to finish (only other one that came close was Sticky Fingers, but I didn't grow up listening to that)...actually, there are some deep tracks on the back of side B, but everything rocks perfectly

Klassischer 80er Rock. Das Album von Van Halen, dass man hören sollte. Mit dem Nummer 1 Hit "Jump". 4/5

Actually really enjoyed this

Top Jimmy!

Absolute guff. All excesses of the 80s laid bare in one record

1984 - 3/5 Jump - 4/5 Panama - 4.5/5 Top Jimmy - 3.5/5 Drop Dead Legs - 3.5/5 Hot for Teacher - 4.5/5 I'll Wait - 3.5/5 Girl Gone Bad - 4/5 House of Pain - 3.5/5 A "dudes rock" album that is carried by its hits with the rest of the album being pretty middle of the road. Thankfully all the singles are good enough to put this as a pretty good album, though the other songs sort of feel like filler outside of maybe 1. Thankfully it's short enough to not notice that much. Overall: 4/5 Favorites: Panama, Hot for Teacher

Had no clue they made jump and panama. The rest besides those 2 are just ok

Other than a couple hit songs, it was just mid

Very alright stuff here the only song that I care for is way too over played.

Weird that this band cranking out these ridiculous songs would also have one of the greatest guitar players.

dad rock

genial album lleno de himnos y la sensación de estar en miami beach en los 80s con gafas sintiendo la brisa en la cara. recomendadisimo loco

It’s been a long week for anthem rock. Better than Guns n Roses, just.

Didn't reach the highs of 1978 Van Halen. Despite Jump, which is a catchy song, too much screeching and questionable lyrics leave this in one star territory.

I didn’t Jump with joy at this one

Rock music is a sheep in wolf's clothing. Fuck too much with it and it gives in pretty quickly leaving, well, not very much at all. And m'lud, I give you 1984 as Exhibit A. It leaves me utterly unmoved and only Jump saves it from a worse fate. 2*

Day 27 This is '80s hair metal/hard rock featuring the major hit "Jump," which was even covered by Bruce Springsteen. This is music from my youth. Though I didn't actually own this album back then and had never listened to it all the way through, I did have a cassette copy of OU812, which I think I like a bit better. 1984 is a decent rock album, even if it's a bit infused with an outdated '80s synth sound. However, Eddie's amazing guitar work still makes this a solid 4 stars.

That guitar is sweet in a way I would have loved in high school but am only mildly excited about now. The album is surprisingly varied for something so intensely 80s. The shorter runtime is also nice, and doesn't seem typical for these types of bands.

each song features the catchiest guitar riff in the entire world. might be the first album i wanted to go a bit longer. obligatory eddie van halen is a wizard. these dudes rock. favorite song is Hot for Teacher

Rating: 7/10 I find it surprisingly cool and it’s undoubtedly fun. It helps that it’s actually quite varied in its sound and all the best songs have different reasons to love them. Like ok fine Jump and Panama are a great way to start the album, switching it from synthpop to metal and having it feel like that makes perfect sense. Despite Hot For Teacher’s lyrical content, the Van Halen brothers make it a highlight with their pounding drums and riffage. House of Pain is also a shredder. These have to be some of the band’s absolute best songs ever. The rest of the songs are pretty decent too. I think I have to give this a 4 for being a standout among the grating cheesiness found in most other 80’s hard rock and metal

It's """cool""" I guess but I really can't shake the senior citizen off of it. It is hype, and Panama and Hot for Teacher really get the people going, and the intro to Hot for Teacher (and the rest of it too, fuck it) really is that great and fricken iconic dude, but really other than that we really out here kicking feet up in the recliner, sippin on a bud light, watching Special Report with Bret Baier on Fox 6.1/10

Guitar playing is the best part the rest is nothing special to my ears, never enjoyed that hair metal sound anyway 3.5*

I wanted to hate this corny ass 80's hair metal album so badly, but I can't deny that parts of it scratched an itch in my lizard brain in a way that made me think less of myself. I still believe David Lee Roth should be chemically castrated as a public safety measure.

Very basic and uninspired rock album. Weak vocals. Uninteresting guitar riffs and melodies. The only track that stood out was "I'll Wait". The synth worked surprisingly well on that track.

Very basic rock and the kind of arena rock that I hate.

Not bad, some good hits.

2 - jump - OHHH this song 3 - a part of this song reminded me of pantera for some reason was a coo album

When I saw this was tagged as metal and hard rock, I was pumped. There are some lower points that were too glitzy for me to care much for (80's glam metal and all that), but overall, a heart-pumping high-energy project! The guitar solos were especially exhilarating and I can see why this band is famous for them.

meh

Enjoyed it! Very loud, very 80s glam rock. Aside from Jumo, I discovered and liked “Panama” and “I’ll wait”.

4/5

I've always thought these glam/stadium rock band are just playing fancy guitar riffs in order to shag women. At least these aren't taking themselves too seriously. Jump is a class pop song, and Hot For Teacher is a lot of fun. But this band just isn't my thing.

Despite some hot riffs, this album can stay in 1984 for all I care.

PANAMA! Got some big hitters - Jump, Panama and Hot for Teacher, but I can listen to these in one offs in a playlist, not a full album. Too cheesy.

When this album is at its best, it's some of the most exhilarating mainstream rock of the 80s. What really set Van Halen apart from their contemporaries was just how good they were at playing, and how willing they were to show off their skills. The fact that the band was named after their guitarist was appropriate, because Eddie Van Halen is the true star of the show here, pulling out some of the most ridiculous guitar solos I've ever heard. David Lee Roth as a frontman is mostly great, but the worst parts of this album come about because of his limitations. Hot for Teacher, while featuring some truly incredible guitar work, takes Roth's horndog persona a little too far for my liking, and some of the slower cuts showcase his inability to sell more emotional moments. For the most part though, he's able to match the bombast of the rest of the band.

Have I listened to this album before No How familiar am I with this album Pretty familiar How do I feel about this artist? I am pretty neutral about Van Halen Pre-Listen Thoughts: This is another one of my mom’s favorite albums. They used to play Jump over the intercom at my Middle School before the bell rang. The said they were going to start playing music to tell us to get to class but it was literally only Jump, like seven times a day. I predict 4 stars. Favorite track(s): Hot for Teacher, House of Pain Post-Listen Thoughts: Very classic sound for this era. Lots of synth but it works. Overall I liked it quite a bit.

from the moment it starts you KNOW it’s gonna be an experience didn’t know the name of the song jump, neither did i know van halen sings it obviously so i went in expecting nothing and was pleasantly surprised by the cover art alone i thought this was going to be something close to cocteau twins… couldn’t have been more wrong guitar riffs in panama changed something in me 6th song is my life story

2.5/5

It was fine for what it was. Just not the type of music I like to listen to.

jao mnogo mi je laknulo kad sam videla da ovaj album traje 33 min

On a trip rn so I’ll make it brief, it was alright and I think besides the tracks 2 and 3 the album was okay for me. Not a lot to go into but js not my cup of tea ig

not usually a fan of 80s rock however, this one definitely hit better than most for me, saved 5/9

As I am writing this at work I have already re-listened to this great album twice in the morning. And yes, of course it's great, but I gotta say - if you asked me 5 years or even 10 years ago, I would have said no doubt this is 5 stars. However VH is yet another one of those bands from my childhood which I kind of outgrew. The singles are majestic as always but album tracks just won't compare to those 3 massive songs here. So I think this deserves strong 4 stars, but it's not really a masterpiece as my younger self would have thought.

Pas forcément un album qui a bien vieilli.

Good album but not really my style or maybe I heard the songs too many times

Quand même cool, s’était vraiment pas si mauvais

Maybe Van Halen was another one of those bands I judged too harshly before actually sitting down with some headphones and listening to an album as opposed to just radio singles. I still think they're pretty cringy (mostly thanks to David Lee Roth), but I was expecting some sort of high art, which isn't what you should expect at all from any hard rock band. It's just a fun album. Was expecting to put this as a one or two star, but I'd probably put it as a high three/low four. I'll round down to factor for the cringe

VH - "Look at all the fancy flash note I can play." Me - "But why would I want to listen to them?"

Best of 1984

Electric, it gets me going I haven't listened to anything as heavy as this before but I like it, not much else to say

Awful awful awful

A much needed palate cleanser.

Classic

Perfect album