Here Come The Warm Jets

Might as well put a 2 year old on the keys

Feels like I'm being pranked. Occasional moments of genuinely great instrumental music, but 80% extremely overstimulating synths and terrible vocals. Feels like quintessential cringe dad music that he only plays while sanding stuff in the garage. (What is he sanding? Is it the same piece of wood over and over again? God, why the fuck does he listen to this?)

A quirky, experimental blend of glam rock and art pop, built on jagged guitars, eccentric arrangements, and playful, unpredictable vocals that create a chaotic atmosphere.

C’mon. What is this doing here?

Very disappointed by this album. Felt like a very generic art rock album with a lot of strange and at times audibly grating music choices that made this a very hard listen. Maybe there's something to appreciate more with time, but leaves a very poor first impression

Brian, just stop. I know drugs can be fun, but ideas you have while doing them aren’t always as great as they seem sober. An example of this is Here Come The Warm Jets. There are some good ideas of songs here but you ruined them. Pity.

This to me is just boring, meaningless garbage. 1 star or F.

korvat irti päästä...

A bit too all over the place, I would describe this more as noise than music.

Album is weird. Some experiments should never run. Sounds like a yowling cat. Horrendous.

Knowing Brian Eno and the insanely positive contribution he made to music history, I had really high hopes for this. Brian Eno perfected 70's new wave. And with an intro song like Needle's In The Camel's Eye, I was feeling good about this one! Notice how I was typing in past tense there? Because the rest of this album is dogshit. I am actually in disbelief this is the same guy that produced the greatest albums of the greatest artists of the 70's; Talking Heads, DEVO, David Bowie. Really? This is what we are served up? Anyways, because I'm going to cop shit from my fart sniffing "mate(s)" who worship Eno, here's my track by track review: Paw Paw is alright. Baby's On Fire is dull as dogshit. The guitar solo was cool but the weird shrill voice did my head in. Cindy Tells Me more Cindy Tells Me like how to make an average ass English 70's rock song, but instead of hooking your guitar up to an amplifier, you instead plug it into a an enormous hive of wasps and occasionally rape my ears with an extremely loud buzzing noise. Driving Me Backwards - WOA-A-AOAHA-WOAOAHOAOAOAOAOAOAHAOHAOHAOHAAA ITS LIKE MEEEEEEEEEÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ gotta be CRAAAAYYAZAA WOAOAOWOA OAOAOAO WAOAOA OAOOA OAO AOAOAOAHAOAO OO OO O O O -- Utter dribble coming from this blokes mouth. I had to skip this on my second listen. Sounds like someone gave an iPad with Garageband piano presets to a Year 9 special ed kid. On Some Faraway Beach was nice. That's about all. Blank Frank was just more layered annoying noises with some derelict cunt tapping his adam's apple while he sings nonsensical shit. Why did Eno think squeezing a rubber chicken during Dead Finks Don't Talk would make for an interesting listen? It was dreadful. cheeky cheeky naughty sneaky OH NO OH NO OH NO. What is with this guy and just ramming random noises onto a song and thinking it's good music? Anyways I've had enough, not going to bother writing a synopsis of the last two songs, this dribble annoyed me too much. I'm not sure why Brian Eno's production quality seems to stop when he's making his own music. I guess you're either a good artist or a good producer. All of these songs just felt like a clown trying to make pop rock. Random noises and honks & whistles sprawled about like a retard having a mental fit on the floor. What was this guy on when he was making this? I feel like people only like this record because they want to suck Eno off for his production work. His talents with production and talents as an artist are not relative. Fuck this load of shit.

Nothing needs to be said.

Another one that has to many weird sounds that don't fit in for me. Not something I enjoyed listening to, even just to have listened once like some other albums.

Strange noises and vocals, droning, noise to my ears.

What is this? I heard this album was pretty divisive. First song, Needles In The Came's Eye, I was like this isn't that bad, it's mostly just background music. Then the rest of the album just devolved into annoying music and noise. Especially Dead Finks Don't Talk, the music just cuts to some weird shrilly noise and then goes back. Best song: Needles In The Camel's Eye

Noise.

Meh

Wow, holy trebble on the intro there, Batman. Certainly not a fast way to my heart. Second song is just goofy--the computer buzz solo sounds like a discount knock-off of Daft Punk. Baby's On Fire, slightly less dumb, but still dumb. Driving Me Backwards.... skipped halfway through. On Some Faraway beach is the first tolerable song. Then a bunch more skips basically. This was the first album I was struggling to even finish. And the first 1-star I've given out.

Ainda bem que todo esse experimentalismo não se seguiu para as bandas que ele produziu.

Noisy

Lightweight, all over the place with thin vocals. "Needles in the Camel's Eye" is an okay pop song, the rest is an uneven mix of bouncy and spacy.

Interesting at some parts, most of it was crap, next

ugh

I have only noticed Eno as a producer yet and appreciated his work a lot. But I got quite disappointed by this one. His vocals are often annoying and even the music sucks here and then. ("Driving Me Backwards", "Dead Finks Don't Talk"...) 1,5

Not for me at all, did not really enjoy this much to be honest.

This was one bit of this that sounded like a goose

If there were only 1,002 albums in existence I’m not sure this would be in the top 1,001 must listen to albums.

Incomplete noise

Listened to the first few tracks and they were just noise, don’t like Eno anyway so just listened to Hail To The Thief instead

i recently watched this movie “High Fidelity” about a record shop owner, not the point but, these teens in the movie stuffed Brian Eno records up their shirts and ran away with them and at that time and to this day, I just always wonder: who the fuck is stealing a Brian Eno record. not surprising in the least. It was terrible. Got a little sad knowing I went from Lauryn Hill & Bruce Springsteen to Brian Eno but for every good, there’s 5 bad on this site. Good luck to whoever gets this next

No.

I wonder if this is just a random sequencing, but dang SO MUCH 70's brit punk and post-punk. I feel like I may rate them higher if there wasn't so much of it. This is just amateur guitar (twang twang twang twang) banging on a couple of chords with Bowie-wannabe vocals.

hmm, tough one. Need to have a few listens more. Love the artwork though.

1. needlez - 1.5 2. pauu pauu - 0 3. fire - 1.5 4 cindy - 1 5. drving me - 1 6. beach - 1 7. frank - 0 8. dead - 1 9. old - 1.5 10. jetz - 1.5

Well, Eno is now a controversial artist. I usually like him but this one was a "did not finish". The cicada sounding guitar (?) on Cindy Tells Me did me in. I'll listen to his later ambient stuff.

The unusual/experimental stuff is cute, but I really don't think it adds anything worthwhile to the album. There's some moments that are okay, but otherwise it's pretty bad.

No.

The first half of the this album felt slightly generic but like a solid rock album of its time. Then Driving Me Backwards came on and ruined the album. Just a bad song that ushered in an over usage of distortion on the second half of the album. Blank Frank was another bad song. The majority of this album was forgettable with the remainder being bad.

So bad; couldn't finish it. 1/5

Brian is a great composer. Unfortunately, he's a garbage songwriter and an even more garbage vocalist. It was terrible from start to end.

Why the fuck is this guy a thing?

Nein danke 1 stern

What a weird album. Totally not my vibe. I guess it's novel but I honestly didn't enjoy this one .

The BPM identifies as rock, some tunes remind me of the Beatles' Revolution 9 of the 68' White Album, some other tunes shows psychodelic experiments with effect devices or funny substances (or both). No idea, why in the 1001 list

weird.

That was ass

Not my cuppa tea

Bad

5 albums for this guy is a little too much

Eh. Not great

Lost me on the second song tmwith the bleeps and bloops. Zero stars, fuck off Brian Eno.

What the actual fuck is this garbage. No song structure, no tone awareness to the vocals. Just a fucking moron beating on a keyboard and guitars and calling it music. Eno was a hugely experimental fella, but some things just shouldn't be experimented with; such as musical talent (which there is none of on this dumpster fire of a record). Making odd screeching noises isn't making music, it's fucking annoying. Eno couldn't sing himself out of a plastic bag. Lyrics are complete nonsense. The chorus of Cindy Tells Me sounds like cicadas flying past my head ffs. Most of the tones and notes that Eno gravitates to on this album may be "new notes and tones that haven't been played before", but they're new for a reason. Because hearing those notes is like hearing nails on a fucking chalkboard. Overall, a fucking horrible album. Absolutely no redeeming qualities. When I saw that it was an Eno album, I knew it would suck, and boy was I right. What the fuck did this influence? Nothing. More horrible music that hipsters, and critics can't bring themselves to say is terrible, so they continue to pretend that it's this amazingly deep album, but it's not. It's shit. Favourite songs: Cindy Tells Me (I guess...the closest thing to an actual fucking song on this piece of shit album) Least favourite songs: Paw Paw Negro Blowtorch, Needles in the Camel's Eye, Baby's On Fire, Driving Me Backwards (sounds like it's played backwards...), Blank Frank, Dead Finks Don't Talk (looped Oh No's..... Just.... Why?!?), Some of Them Are Old (sounds like a 2 year old loose in a room with a keyboard), Here Come the Warm Jets (only good thing about this song, is that after you suffer through it, the album is done, thank Christ) 1/5.... Fuck this heap of shit. This brought me physical pain to listen to.

Sounds a bit weird sometimes, instrumental definitely better than vocal

Wasn't much to my liking

Once you’ve heard one Brian Eno album you’ve heard them all. It’s bland and weird, not pleasing. I’d be better off on shrooms listening to this (and maybe that’s the point?).

This is just garbage noises

What a load of tripe.

Fraquíssimo, não revisitar.

khhhhhh

In één woord: schel. Dat kreeg de 2004 remaster-master blijkbaar ook niet meer gerepareerd. Niet te luisteren op je pods zonder gehoorbeschadiging op te lopen. Verder veel muzikale grapjes, die ik zelf vooral irritant vind. Bijvoorbeeld dat bijgeluid bij Dead Finks don't talk. Dat er eens zo'n amuzikaal grapjesalbum tussen staat. Prima. Maar ben er nu wel klaar mee. Kunnen we weer naar kwaliteit in deze lijst?

Kivat äänet eivät edelleenkään korvaa kappaleita. Eivätkä Bowie-tyyppiset äänet ole koskaan olleet suosikkejani.

Just a bit shit

The sound of this record is immediately unenjoyable. About halfway through "Cindy Loves Me" I was finally thinking to myself, for the first time (on the 4th track), that this was actually kind of a pleasant song. Then that swarm-of-cicadas sound came in and just completely took over. That proved to be the high point of the album. Being weird for the sake of being weird is at least interesting, but there's a very high bar to make it work. This falls well short. Most of it is unlistenable noise. That which is not is largely pretty by-the-numbers New Wave garage rock.

The sound of this record is immediately unenjoyable. About halfway through "Cindy Loves Me" I was finally thinking to myself, for the first time (on the 4th track), that this was actually kind of a pleasant song. Then that swarm-of-cicadas sound came in and just completely took over. That proved to be the high point of the album. Being weird for the sake of being weird is at least interesting, but there's a very high bar to make it work. This falls well short. Most of it is unlistenable noise. That which is not is largely pretty by-the-numbers New Wave garage rock.

This is NOT ambient music. But what are you getting with "Warm Jets?" Warm, not hot. We're not going full hot tub here. This is just a bathtub with jacuzzi nozzles. You get in, and turn the jets on, and they "Needle" you with their propulsive power. But then you shift a bit and now the jets are hitting you right in the "Paw Paws" and you can't stop giggling. You don't mean to giggle, but it's just so damn ridiculous sitting there in the warm jets. And then it just gets weirder from there. You start to think about this tub full of warm jets. Who else has been in this tub? What strange diseases have been passed around to make the unnatural sounds you are hearing gurgling up from below? For a moment there's hope. Cindy gets in the tub. "Oh, here's a cute, normal lady," you say. But then it turns out she's actually a cicada, I think? Well there's no place for that in the warm tub. Cicada Cindy gets out of the tub, but she must have broken something, because all of a sudden the jets have no juice and everything is sluggish and not-so-warm, as if the jets are firing backwards. You try to ignore it and relax and pretend you're on a faraway beach, but then some crazy loud plumber named Frank barges in and breaks the tub, possibly for good. Can't see it working after this. This is NOT ambient music. Though I almost kinda sorta wish it was.

Punishing.

not for me

It's like putting spoons in a blender and hitting the "Puree" button.

Bon ben le vrai talent dans Roxy Music c'est Bryan Ferry Pas foncierement nul mais aucune bonne chanson dans l'album

I have now spent 42 minutes with Brian Eno, and I have learned nothing. I've heard the name a lot over the years, and I always got the sense that his was a name you dropped if you were about to say, "you probably don't GET it." Well, I don't.

I got to 'driving me backwards' and turned it off. he might be influential, but this is ABSOLUTE SHIT.

Roxy music in disguise

not my thing

Huh ?

I listen to most of this, but I just couldn't finish it. It's not my thing, but maybe it's someone's...

Dated, not much going on

Just alot of experimental music it sounds like. Don't really care for it. 2/10.

Leeeento

Get this guy out of here

- yeah this is cool - where did music for airports come from - halfway through its more okay than cool - song 7: this could be over I think, i'm zoned out -skipped through the last 3, last one sounds ok - imagine how much better this list would have been if it was limited to 1 album per artist

Baby's on Fire- Fist song we get to that sounds ok Finished the album. I don't get it. What is so great about this?