Journey Complete!
Finisher #191 to complete the list
View User Albums Summary1089
Albums Rated
2.99
Average Rating
100%
Complete
The Modern Lovers
The Modern Lovers
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1970s
Favorite Decade
Grunge
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Top Origin
Wordsmith
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189
5-Star Albums
128
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Planet Rock: The Album
Afrika Bambaataa
|
5 | 2.8 | +2.2 |
|
Kings Of The Wild Frontier
Adam & The Ants
|
5 | 2.83 | +2.17 |
|
Cafe Bleu
The Style Council
|
5 | 2.87 | +2.13 |
|
Rip It Up
Orange Juice
|
5 | 2.9 | +2.1 |
|
Rattlesnakes
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
|
5 | 2.9 | +2.1 |
|
Kick Out The Jams (Live)
MC5
|
5 | 2.91 | +2.09 |
|
Psychocandy
The Jesus And Mary Chain
|
5 | 2.94 | +2.06 |
|
Paris 1919
John Cale
|
5 | 2.95 | +2.05 |
|
Vulgar Display Of Power
Pantera
|
5 | 2.97 | +2.03 |
|
All That You Can't Leave Behind
U2
|
5 | 2.98 | +2.02 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Wish You Were Here
Pink Floyd
|
1 | 4.3 | -3.3 |
|
The Wall
Pink Floyd
|
1 | 4.14 | -3.14 |
|
OK Computer
Radiohead
|
1 | 4.1 | -3.1 |
|
The Bends
Radiohead
|
1 | 4.01 | -3.01 |
|
In Rainbows
Radiohead
|
1 | 3.84 | -2.84 |
|
Kid A
Radiohead
|
1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
|
Dummy
Portishead
|
1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
|
Illmatic
Nas
|
1 | 3.61 | -2.61 |
|
The Marshall Mathers LP
Eminem
|
1 | 3.49 | -2.49 |
|
Play
Moby
|
1 | 3.47 | -2.47 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Bob Dylan | 7 | 5 |
| Led Zeppelin | 5 | 5 |
| R.E.M. | 4 | 5 |
| Talking Heads | 4 | 5 |
| David Bowie | 9 | 4.44 |
| Beatles | 7 | 4.43 |
| The Smiths | 3 | 5 |
| Pixies | 3 | 5 |
| Nirvana | 3 | 5 |
| Prince | 3 | 5 |
| The Beach Boys | 3 | 5 |
| Creedence Clearwater Revival | 3 | 5 |
| Simon & Garfunkel | 3 | 5 |
| Beastie Boys | 3 | 5 |
| U2 | 4 | 4.5 |
| Stevie Wonder | 4 | 4.5 |
| Queen | 3 | 4.67 |
| Michael Jackson | 3 | 4.67 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers | 2 | 5 |
| The Smashing Pumpkins | 2 | 5 |
| The Band | 2 | 5 |
| Run-D.M.C. | 2 | 5 |
| Iggy Pop | 2 | 5 |
| AC/DC | 2 | 5 |
| Van Halen | 2 | 5 |
| Sonic Youth | 5 | 4.2 |
| Leonard Cohen | 5 | 4.2 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 5 | 4.2 |
| The Kinks | 4 | 4.25 |
| Miles Davis | 4 | 4.25 |
| Elvis Costello & The Attractions | 4 | 4.25 |
| The Stooges | 3 | 4.33 |
| The White Stripes | 3 | 4.33 |
| Van Morrison | 3 | 4.33 |
| Neil Young & Crazy Horse | 3 | 4.33 |
| Kate Bush | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Radiohead | 6 | 1 |
| Pink Floyd | 4 | 1.25 |
| Kanye West | 3 | 1 |
| Kings of Leon | 3 | 1 |
| Eminem | 2 | 1 |
| Orbital | 2 | 1 |
| Ryan Adams | 2 | 1 |
| Spiritualized | 2 | 1 |
| Slipknot | 2 | 1 |
| The Chemical Brothers | 2 | 1 |
| Portishead | 2 | 1.5 |
| Coldplay | 2 | 1.5 |
| Air | 2 | 1.5 |
| Cocteau Twins | 2 | 1.5 |
| Taylor Swift | 2 | 1.5 |
| The Prodigy | 2 | 1.5 |
| Massive Attack | 2 | 1.5 |
| John Martyn | 2 | 1.5 |
| Baaba Maal | 2 | 1.5 |
| Goldfrapp | 2 | 1.5 |
| M.I.A. | 2 | 1.5 |
| Björk | 4 | 2 |
| Brian Eno | 5 | 2.2 |
| Pet Shop Boys | 3 | 2 |
| Tim Buckley | 3 | 2 |
| Yes | 3 | 2 |
| Arcade Fire | 3 | 2 |
| The Fall | 3 | 2 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Depeche Mode | 1, 5 |
| Suede | 5, 2 |
| Fleetwood Mac | 2, 5 |
| The Cure | 2, 3, 5 |
| Black Sabbath | 5, 2, 3 |
5-Star Albums (189)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
Okay, c’mon! Three fucking Dexys Midnight Runners albums on this list?!? That is too much!! They have 1 exceptional one hit wonder and the rest is pure shite. We’ve discussed this already, topic fucking closed now alright!
66 likes
G. Love & Special Sauce
2/5
The special sauce is just ketchup and mayo mixed together.
65 likes
The Thrills
2/5
Oh Jesus, now it’s Irish indie pop on a Friday, like damn dude. This project has my total commitment but I’m truly feeling let down by the horrendously disproportionate ratio of hundreds of nonsense non-special records to the very few and far between actual legit epic bangers. Something truly worthy next please?? Please!
42 likes
Heaven 17
1/5
So you're telling me it didn't chart successfully, and it didn't wow critics successfully either. Then why the fuck would this ever be on the list? As an example of complete and utter underwhelming mediocrity? A what not to do? Ain't nobody got time for that. It's shit. And I don't need to listen to shit for shit's sake.
32 likes
1-Star Albums (128)
All Ratings
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
Great beats, amazing lyrics, and lots of interesting sampling from artists I love.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
So ahead of its time! Sunday Morning is one of the best songs ever.
Queen
5/5
Fantastic! One of the greatest opening tracks of all time to set the tone for the album. Love the juxtaposition of The Opera with raucous rock n roll. A great bloody time, the whole time.
Sister Sledge
2/5
Meh. The current spotify version has We Are Family on it 3 times, and two of those versions are over 8 minutes long! Nobody likes that song enough to listen to over 20 minutes of it on one album.
Alice Cooper
1/5
This was apparently shock rock in the 70's. School's Out is a good track on it's own, but the rest of the album sucks. The lyrics are all so cheesy and cornball. Not an album I'll want to listen to again, stick to Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits.
R.E.M.
5/5
Love this album! Poignant lyrics, endearing ennui, wistful storytelling.
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
4/5
Highly enjoyable listening. Not a jazz fan generally, but this is an album I can see myself putting on again.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
1/5
Absolute crap. Unlistenable. You know back in the day when you'd go to HMV and they'd have the listening station pre-loaded with the picks of the week? This is like the random album they had to put in that to meet a genre quota mandated by corporate. It suuuuucks.
The Who
2/5
Meh. Not into concept albums, even less so rock operas. Pinball Wizard is a bop though, I do enjoy that tune. Props for the ambition with this album and it's amazing how they used to do the whole thing live, but I'm just not into it.
The Modern Lovers
5/5
It's brilliant, exactly the kind of music I love. A magical blend of rock/punk energies and wry self-deprecating earnestness. I love the absurdist yet heartfelt lyrics and effortless cool layered into every track.
Eminem
1/5
Heard enough of this crap in high school when it was on everyone like a bad rash. Not supporting this misogynistic prick.
George Michael
2/5
This album had some amazing singles, classic George Michael songs that I've always loved. But the rest of it is so meh. It comes out strong with Faith, Father Figure, and I Want Your Sex, but the rest of it just felt like filler.
Love
2/5
Never heard of this band or album before. Did not know a single song by this group. The songs are mellow and the overall tone is chill. It just didn't grab my attention though. Meh overall. I don't feel like this is a gap in my musical knowledge that needed to be filled.
Happy Mondays
1/5
Uninteresting, unheard of crap. I'm going to be pissed off if shit like this made the list but something truly remarkable like Flood by They Might Be Giants or Soul Mining by The The didn't.
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
2/5
Spotify doesn't even have the full album! The two singles they did have were alright. But I couldn't give this the full listening experience. Spent the day listening to I, Jonathan by Jonathan Richman instead.
JAY Z
2/5
Not my vibes at all. Sure, there might be some merit here, but I don't want to spend time trying to find it.
John Lennon
3/5
Enjoyable listening. I prefer George Harrison's solo albums, he really flourished when he was liberated from John's tyranny. The one thing everyone needs to know is that the track Imagine was largely written by Yoko Ono, who John selfishly decided wasn't worth crediting because she's "just a wife, y'know?" He was a total douchebag, but it is easy listening.
The Zombies
5/5
A fabulous album through and through, one of my favourites. And props for one of the all-time most iconic songs of the 60's - Time of the Season. It so perfectly encapsulates the hippie counter-culture of that time.
Mott The Hoople
3/5
Wtf is Mott? Really shitty band name. And they couldn't come up with a better name for the album?
Generic 70’s rock. Inoffensive, mediocre. I wouldn’t flip the station if I saw their name on the display.
DJ Shadow
2/5
Boring. Sampling is just such an uninteresting act. I don’t care for it.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
Cool funky grooves. Everyday People and I Want To Take You Higher are absolute classics, welcome additions to any party playlist.
Sex Machine is so self-indulgent. I don't need to groove to the same instrumental number for over 13 minutes, that doesn't do it for me. One of those tracks where the people who are really high on the dance floor can zone out and go all night, but the rest of us roll our eyes after 3 minutes and want the DJ to move on.
Stereo MC's
2/5
It's alright, definitely not the worst album I've come across so far. I don't want to listen to a full hour of it. Should definitely be on the list of ugliest album covers ever.
The B-52's
5/5
Easiest 5 star rating I'll ever give. No brainer. This otherworldly offering from the B-52's is one of the greatest debut albums ever recorded. They are so fucking cool and I love every track! This is an all-time favourite album of mine that I have loved for years.
Dance This Mess Around, Lava, Rock Lobster, and 6060-842 are standout tracks, but I really do love every single note of this album.
Ray Charles
3/5
It’s alright. No complaints.
Portishead
2/5
This ain’t it. Do not want.
Super Furry Animals
2/5
Lousy Oasis wannabes.
Coldplay
2/5
They obviously appeal to a lot of people, just not to me. Boring ass music.
Lou Reed
3/5
I like Lou Reed's voice, but this album doesn't seem particularly special. I listened and didn't mind it, but it never fully arrested my attention.
Queen
4/5
It's great. Not as a solid as A Night At The Opera, but a damn good listen.
Patti Smith
5/5
Patti is giving me life today! This is an obvious 5.
Iconic debut album. You love to see it: an amazingly talented badass woman at the helm of the punk movement. Fuck yeah!
The Stooges
4/5
I dig it! Haven't given The Stooges much attention before, but clearly that's going to change. I enjoyed this album a lot, looking forward to hearing more.
Morrissey
4/5
Oh Moz, you’ve certainly made an impression on me.
Wu-Tang Clan
2/5
It’s monotonous, but not as bad as I was expecting.
Primal Scream
2/5
Disappointed when I saw the album cover, but I gave it a chance. After listening it's clear that it's just more crap undeserving of this list. Clearly chosen because of the British bias of the list-makers. First track was fine. The rest was annoying garbage.
Queen
5/5
This album is a whole ass fucking MOOD and I am loving every minute of it!!
Billy Bragg
3/5
Enjoyed the Tracks of my Tears cover. Don’t mind Bragg’s voice, but I don’t care enough to go here again. Neutral.
The Magnetic Fields
2/5
It was saved from a 1 star rating by The Book of Love alone because that song did strike a chord with me. 1 gold nugget amid 68 turds.
Judas Priest
4/5
Living After Midnight, Rockin' to the dawn! This is quality old school metal that's always fun to listen to. Love it!
The Stone Roses
5/5
A solid album through and through. Dig a lot of the songs, especially I Am The Resurrection.
Neil Young
4/5
Classic album, definitely worthy of the list. Happy to see Canada represented. Neil is one of our greatest treasures.
Frank Zappa
2/5
Frank Zappa has never appealed to me musically and that's mainly because his image is so off-putting. He looks like a total fucking creep. Only knew the song Valley Girl and that he gave his kids fucked up names. This shed new light on Zappa for me, but it's still not my bag. *shrug*
Haircut 100
2/5
This so isn't worthy. It's generic 80's new wave. It's fine and that's it. It shouldn't be on the list.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
It's too repetitive, there's no nuance in the sound or production. PSB is one of those \"just the hits\" kind of artists for me, no deep cut hidden gems here.
Moby
1/5
Gross creepy weirdo whose music sucks.
Soundgarden
5/5
Absolutely essential grunge album. It will rock the fuck out of your soul from the first track to the last. Chris Cornell was an unparalleled talent and killer vocalist, a tremendous credit to the genre. This album is a stone cold masterpiece.
Lana Del Rey
2/5
So not into this weepy whiny drivel.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
3/5
Didn’t mind it. Big band and swing aren’t my wheelhouse at all, but I can appreciate the musicianship on display here.
Oasis
3/5
Innocuous 90's rock.
Neneh Cherry
3/5
It's got some bops that's for sure. Had never heard of Neneh Cherry before, and while this isn't really my kinda jams, I didn't mind having it on in the background.
Tim Buckley
2/5
All the subtlety of a sledgehammer. I bet any money he was a terrible lover in real life, selfish and inconsiderate of his partner's needs.
The music isn't unlistenable, but the lyrics are so immature and the artist is a loathsome piece of shit. Jeff Buckley is a far superior musician and artist compared to his deadbeat father.
The Go-Betweens
3/5
A pleasant surprise! I love the moody, brooding lyrics contrasting the perky pop-ish guitar.
4/5
FINALLY! I've been waiting for an album by one of the big big most worthy artists. Sgt. Pepper is very strong. I appreciate how groundbreaking it was, but it's not my favourite Beatles record. Still such a joy to listen to nonetheless. A fabulous listen through and through! Thank you generator for finally satisfying my Beatles craving.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
5/5
The southern rock magnum opus. And it’s a debut album! Tuesday’s Gone, Free Bird, and Simple Man existing together on the same album blows my mind. I fucking love it.
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
3/5
It’s fine for what it is, but it’s not for me. I’m glad someone is thinking of the penguins though.
The Cardigans
2/5
Lovefool is a bop, it permeates 90's radio playlists, but that isn't enough of a reason to say that the whole album merits a spot on this list. And I agree with everyone else saying this is one of the shittiest album covers of all time. I would never look at this and equate it with the syrupy pixie pop that comes out of it.
Fever Ray
1/5
Sucks ass. I hate it.
The Jam
5/5
I dig it, The Jam are such an underrated gem. I got a lot of mileage out of this album today. It bangs.
The Only Ones
3/5
It's fine, but it didn't leave a lasting impression on me.
Sade
3/5
I like it a lot more than I expected to. Sade's voice is fierce and sexy!
Roxy Music
2/5
I expected more from this. It didn’t give me any feels.
XTC
2/5
I just couldn’t get into it. Maybe under different circumstances, but I don’t have the time to care today.
Beck
2/5
It was too one-note for me. Lost Cause was a good track though, I liked it. I zoned out of all the sadness and only noticed that it was over when Spotify automatically went into Beercan off of Mellow Gold. I thought "there's my Beck!" and I was happy again.
Marilyn Manson
1/5
Cannot separate the "art" from the artist on this one. Scumbag rapist Nazi fuckhead that I will not listen to.
Elastica
3/5
I'm digging it, but I'm not flipping for it. They didn't reinvent the wheel, it's fine for what it is.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
5/5
Completely biased rating because FUCK YESSSSSS!!
This is the sound of me discovering a musical preference of my own, the sound of being 12 in 1999 and figuring out who I want to be. It is an undeniably groovy and unique album that is a direct line to my younger self.
Al Green
3/5
His voice is so soulful and emotive. I'm digging it. Shame that he's a piece of shit wife-beater. Let's stay together or else I'll beat the piss out of you.
Drive-By Truckers
1/5
Complete crap. Just total horseshit that I want nothing to do with.
Steely Dan
2/5
I guess they’re saving all the ecstasy for their next album? Very meh. Unremarkable.
ZZ Top
3/5
The hits are hits for a reason, all that guitar is goddamn catchy shit and I'm here for it. But the album does become quite monotonous as it goes on. Thank you for giving us "Legs" and knowing how to use them.
Michael Kiwanuka
3/5
The first track hooked me, had to go back to it a few times. Saved to library. The second track was great too. Mostly enjoyed the album, but did get a bit bored by the end. The first two tracks set me up for success and I wanted more of that throughout.
Black Flag
3/5
TV Party tonight! TV party tonight!
Classic angry youthful punk with a dash of humour. I like it.
Hawkwind
1/5
Crummy hippie space junk. It fucking sucks and I hate everything about it.
Yes
2/5
Nerd wizard rock that I do not want.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
It felt a bit chaotic, there were too many ideas being jammed into this album. The Stones are always enjoyable though. Solid pick for a Saturday.
The Smashing Pumpkins
5/5
This is an absolute monster of an album. “Today” is such a beautiful, tragic song. Peak Corgan sad boi brilliance. The whole thing is a solid listen all the way through, love it!
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
It's lovely. I appreciate the unfettered authenticity and wistfulness. The melodramatic "Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying" is a song that will always have a special place in my heart.
Supertramp
3/5
Been an avid classic rock radio listener my whole life, so I'm very familiar with all of Supertramp's big hits. They're alright. I've never cared enough to seek out more of their music. Would rather listen to Rush. Neutral on this.
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
Just had "If You're Feeling Sinister" the day before, so it's interesting to compare so closely together. I like this album too, it's got that same whimsical yet sardonic lyricism I appreciate from this group, and it seems to be a peppier album overall. Instrumentation is wonderful, enjoying it a lot.
Fairport Convention
2/5
Completely unenthused about this. I don’t have anything against it, but I’m just not into it. Very meh.
Louis Prima
4/5
Pure fun! This is such a joyful album. I love Louis's voice and the playful way he engages the other contributors. Everything about this evokes carefree, don't take life too seriously fun vibes. I like it a lot!
Big Star
2/5
#1 Record is a good album. This is not. I tuned out when they started singing about Jesus.
Flamin' Groovies
3/5
It was better than I expected based on the album art and the incredibly stupid band name. Seriously, who named this band?? It’s such an immature name and it inspires no confidence. Tunes okay though.
Björk
2/5
I just can't. I'm happy that Björk has had success being her authentically oddball self and whatnot, but I'm just not musically compatible with this record. I want to have a good time when I'm listening to music. Not be all high-brow artsy fartsy experimental. It's not you, Björk, it's me. Points added for the iconic swan dress.
George Jones
2/5
Sappy old drunk, he sang the same song 11 different ways on this album. It gets old fast. But he does have a nice voice.
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
The album artwork is absolutely abhorrent so I can see why it sold poorly. I've been known to judge music by the album cover and that severely lowered my expectations going in. But I have to admit this album is right up my alley. I'm liking the melding of hard rock and post-punk sounds with the alt rock sensibilities. The intensity of the vocals pairs exceptionally well with the rawness of the music. There's something reminiscent of Freddie Mercury in the vocal tone, am I the only one hearing that? I like.
Brian Eno
1/5
I just… like, why?? It should not be on the list. There’s nothing about this album that is culturally significant. It’s music. Okay, I’ll give it that. But to say this should be included with the likes of Bowie, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Nirvana… actual artists whose work was impactful? That’s insane. This doesn’t fit.
5/5
I listened to The Joshua Tree a lot when I was in high school. Everyone seems to agree the first three tracks are all monster hits. I also really like Bullet the Blue Sky and Running to Stand Still. It's just a great fucking album.
Johnny Cash
4/5
I hate live albums, but there are always exceptions to the rules. Exception: Johnny fucking Cash. It was a great idea that was executed brilliantly. Felt like a prisoner by the end of it, but that was the point right?
Mike Ladd
1/5
There’s nothing about this that even remotely interests me musically.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
4/5
Fantastic album, love the collaboration of these four spectacular artists! Even though there wasn't much cohesion between them during the recording process, the end result sounds like they had remarkable recording chemistry throughout. Helpless is a beautiful song, and Our House has been a favourite of mine for many years. Woodstock is quintessential classic rock, it does not get any more classic or any more rock than that song. What a killer start to the week, bloody good album!
The Doors
4/5
The Doors have been one of those bands that I skip on playlists, but I think it's just because their biggest songs are so overplayed. I'm enjoying this listen way more than expected based on my history with The Doors. It's quite remarkable that this is a debut album. It's excellent.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3/5
It definitely has a sound that is very specific to its time. I could get into it with more listens, but I just don't have the attention span for it today. It's okay. It got better towards the end of the album.
X-Ray Spex
5/5
Hidden gem! I've never heard of this group before but this album speaks directly to my musical sensibilities and tastes. It's remarkable how much Poly Styrene's vocals remind me of Kathleen Hanna. I'm digging this so much. Plus, fuck yeah, saxophone!! I am instantly in love with this record and Poly Styrene. She is a punk goddess and badass feminist icon. Oh bondage up yours indeed!
2/5
More of this? What even is the difference between this and Fragile? I'm just glad I could put it on in the background and get through it. Sounds like an uninterrupted continuation of all their albums. *shrug*
Sonic Youth
4/5
You get exactly what they told you: a dirty sounding record, musically. The people writing it off as loud noises owe it a few more listens to appreciate the layers of complexity. It rules, it flies in the face of every commercial instinct other bands at this time followed.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
Canada’s Bob Dylan. National Treasure. Icon. This is a wonderful debut album, it’s emotionally driven and poignant music.
Femi Kuti
3/5
Musically it’s good. I liked having it on in the background while I worked. It didn’t make an impact though. It’s just not for me.
4/5
Oasis at the pinnacle of their creative success. It plays like a greatest hits and it's good. It's enjoyable music. Not my favourite, but damned if I won't sing along to Wonderwall every single time it comes on. Have to.
The Stooges
4/5
I liked "Fun House" better, but I enjoyed this album too. I like their sound, I like their style. Did not love "We Will Fall" though - too long, too jarring compared to the rest of the album. "No Fun" and "1969" were the best tracks.
The Pogues
3/5
It’s a bloody good soundtrack for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. But other than that, not for me.
The Smiths
5/5
My top Spotify artist of 2021, fuck yeah! I can’t get enough of The Smiths. The emotional, social, political intensity of the lyrics with the one-of-a-kind catchy jangly Marr guitar work is a heady and addictive pairing. It’s a killer combo for me every time.
Various Artists
4/5
I don’t know if there was programmatic collusion, but getting this album on Dec. 25th is a special treat. I enjoyed it a lot this morning while opening gifts. Very 60’s, a classic through and through. But only needed once a year.
Sheryl Crow
3/5
Sheryl’s got some hits, some songs with lots of sing-a-long-ability. But as an artist she just doesn’t resonate with me or evoke any powerful feelings. She evokes mediocre feelings at best. No catharsis, some fun. That’s it. And what is with the name of this album?? It’s so hokey.
Elliott Smith
3/5
I was expecting something very different based on the album cover. Instead of some doofus punk rock like Blink-182 I got more of a pre-emo sensitive crooner vibe, like James Blunt or Jason Mraz. It’s not for me. It’s fine, but it sounded like the same song 16 times.
Fiona Apple
2/5
I never understood the appeal. Gave it a chance, but it’s still not music that I can connect with. It’s an impressive debut from an impressive artist on paper. It just doesn’t go any further than that with me.
Hole
5/5
Fucking iconic! This is a landmark grunge album. Love or hate her, Courtney’s artistry is undeniable. From her furious primal screams on Violet to her heartbroken guttural wailing on Doll Parts she leaves no piece of herself behind. It’s all out there on this record, every raw feeling. And I fucking love every minute of it. Masterpiece.
David Bowie
4/5
Finally, just over 100 albums in and the Starman himself graces me with his presence on this journey! It’s not my favourite iteration of Bowie, but it is a damn good one nonetheless.
Talking Heads
5/5
As a debut album it is wildly successful at telling us exactly who Talking Heads are and what they’re all about. David Byrne is the chosen one of the new wave art punk revolution. I love the quirky POV of this album, and the playfulness in the lyrics. I’m just such a sucker for weirdo misfits that put humour into their work. Stellar record, just love the shit out of this band for daring to be so authentically different and carving their own path.
Steve Earle
3/5
Know the name, but never knew a single lick of his music. It’s definitely country. But not as dull as I was expecting. There are some major pop elements throughout that make it more listenable than run of the mill guitar and twang country. Steve’s alright with me.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Sympathy for the Devil is a banging opener for an album. Tonally this album is all over the map. But I did enjoy it, a lot. It was a very pleasant classic rock listen this morning, I listened to it end to end several times. There’s something about it that just feels like a good Stones album. Like if you were alive when it came out and bought it you’d be happy with that purchase.
Isaac Hayes
3/5
The Shaft theme itself is a killer track. I know it more so as a pervasive pop culture reference than a song. But it slaps. The rest of the album is fine. It’s fine.
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
4/5
I'm not really a hip-hop or rap fan, at least not current modern rap. But early 80's beginnings of rap and hip-hop is prime listening. Especially The Message. That song is beyond influential. It is the critical doctrine for any aspiring rappers and it is still completely relevant today. Banger.
Kanye West
1/5
This is what happens when you feed the Mogwai after midnight: a shitty artist creates shitty overindulgent narcissistic album.
Talking Heads
5/5
Love Talking Heads and this album delivers exactly what I want from them. Excellent follow up to their debut Talking Heads: 77, it’s like a seamless continuation of that album. I’m Not in Love is my new favourite Talking Heads song.
Charles Mingus
3/5
This guy's wikipedia page is a wild ride, he sounds like he was an immature unbearable ass. The music is okay, but it's not something I would seek out. Mingus the Dingus indeed.
The Specials
3/5
It’s fun. Not their best though. The first song felt like a bunch of musicians in the same room but all playing different songs. It hit better by the end. But it’s not a very cohesive album overall.
Cream
2/5
I don’t give a shit about Cream. This album is surprisingly way more mellow than I thought it’d be. Point added for Sunshine of Your Love, but the rest of it is junk.
David Gray
3/5
I didn't realize I actually knew the song Babylon already. Never knew who sang it, but have heard it millions of times on 90's radio. This was a pleasant Monday morning album to listen to while I caught up on my work. It kinda gave me Damien Rice vibes. But it's not one I'm going to return to, it's just not me.
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
3/5
Mellow. It's like South African doo-wop. Not for me, but it's fine.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
Ah Joni, a Canadian national treasure! Always a pleasure listening to her. She's a powerful storyteller and wonderful musician.
Tangerine Dream
1/5
Oh goodie, another one for the rubbish bin! I can't stand this experimental electronic crap.
Pretenders
5/5
I am pumped, I adore the Pretenders! This is a magnificent debut album. At the intersection of 70's punk and pop rock is where the Pretenders meet to floor everyone with their we-don't-give-a-fuck lyrics melded into peppy instrumentation. They don't juxtapose lyrics and music as intensely as The Smiths do, but they're in that same vein. A precursor for sure. There's that subtle hit of something melancholy or maudlin wrapped in a wistful package and I love it. Chrissie Hynde's voice is magnetic and alluring. She's got that quality that expresses so much toughness and badassery but also softness and vulnerability. She's incredible, I could listen to her on loop for days and never get bored. Big fan!
Dennis Wilson
3/5
Love the song Pacific Ocean Blues, but the rest of the album is stuffed with two many conflicting influences and styles. It just feels like a hodgepodge of any musical sound that caught Dennis’s fancy. I can see how working firsthand with Brian Wilson would make it seem like that’s how you create a brilliant album, jamming all the things you like together and stirring it up. But the thing is, you have to actually be a musical genius to know how to meld instruments, styles, and influences together in a brilliant way. Musical genius Dennis Wilson is not. Hairy motherfucker too, wasn’t he? Jeez.
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
It didn’t sound or feel very different from The Holy Bible, their previous album, which was on my list a while back. It was fine. It just didn’t break new ground or offer anything different. Not sure why both of these albums need to be on the list when they’re essentially the exact same. This album art is definitely an improvement over the other one though!
Brian Wilson
4/5
It's a beautiful album, and I appreciate it so much for what it represents: Brian's triumph over past traumas and a return to his best creative self. A lot of songs and arrangements remind me of They Might Be Giants. He's such an impressive and influential artist. I love to see him being fun, quirky, and oddball in his lyricism, it pairs so perfectly with all of the playful instrumentation.
Malcolm McLaren
2/5
Buffalo Gals is obviously catchy, and Double Dutch was a cool jam. Jive My Baby got me feeling the sunshine. But I can't listen to a whole album of this stuff. Especially all the "radio program call in" gimmicks, that got old fast.
Country Joe & The Fish
2/5
Not jazzed about this at all. Bland 60's rock. It hasn't moved the needle in any meaningful way musically for me. Should be called Meh music for Meh minds and bodies.
This crap needs to be bumped from the list to make room for Weezer's Blue album, which I just learned is NOT on the list and that's a goddamned travesty.
Rush
5/5
Brilliant! Fuck yes! Starting my day with Tom Sawyer is exactly what I needed. Rush is awesome, this album is awesome, it is undoubtedly a 5 star record. The musicianship on display here is mind-blowing. Neil Peart rules!!
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
2/5
It's hard to come down off the Rush high from yesterday, and this album is not a cushy landing. It's too homogeneous throughout. I just don't care about it. And fuck Eric Clapton! He's an enormous ass. I know he's talented, but he's also such a dick. I'm going back to Rush.
Fishbone
3/5
Great band, but this album is too chaotic and unpredictable. There’s no cohesion throughout it’s just like a spastic ADHD foray through styles and tones. Love the song Ma and Pa, reminds me of my pal Peattie and the mix CDs she used to make for me.
Jorge Ben Jor
3/5
The music is lively, funky, fun. It gets you moving. But for me the lyrics are the most important and engaging part of any song. Not speaking the same language as Jorge makes it hard for me to enjoy it. Not into foreign or world music, I’m just not. Musically though it was much more of a joy than some of the other crap on this list.
The Who
2/5
These guys love a concept album, eh? It’s a funny sight gag for the album cover. I’m not pumped by the music though. It’s just bland. How many Who albums does someone really need to hear to get the gist of it anyways? Give me Baba O’Reilly and call it a day.
Genesis
2/5
Music for a Renaissance Fair. There's too much plinky guitar plucking. I don't know man, I might be in the minority here but I prefer the way more commercially appealing 80's Genesis over this prog rock experimental stuff.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
I love the album artwork, but 2013's bloody valentine sounds remarkable similar to 1991's. There doesn't seem to be any stylistic innovation or growth, which is surprising when there's a 22 year gap between albums. It sounds like elevator music for a 2000's wannabe indie neo-noir film that no one saw. This is too much of a downer for me, I won't be coming back to it.
CHIC
2/5
Good Times is a frigging good time, obviously. It's the only memorable bop on the album though. Long live disco and all, this just didn't do it for me.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
It's Stevie! At the top of his funk game, bringing slick catchy grooves and buttery, yet emotionally charged vocals together in perfect harmony. Living For the City, Higher Ground, AND All In Love is Fair on the same album blows my mind. He's an incredible artist and he's unparalleled at constructing hit songs without it feeling formulaic or manufactured. It's just beautiful, compelling artistic expression in every song.
Devendra Banhart
2/5
Very boring. This was a harsh let down after Stevie Wonder yesterday, damn. It was pleasant enough to have on while I fed my son breakfast this morning but I don’t care about it or for it at all.
Bob Dylan
5/5
Finally! Only 138 albums in and I finally get some Bob! I’ve waded through so much shit to get here. Anyways…
This is a more seasoned Bob, a reflective Bob. We still get plenty of his folksy charm, but there’s more effortless polish on this album. It’s cohesive in tone throughout and it flows beautifully from one track to the next. It’s confessional and self-aware even if Bob insists that it’s not meant to be. He can’t help it, he writes from the very base of his soul. He doesn’t just leave blood on the tracks he leaves his whole heart. It’s at an interesting new place in his life and I dig his perspective on it at this point in his career. It’s impressive and inspiring.
The Yardbirds
2/5
Yardbirds without Clapton? I’ll take it! It’s pretty bland though.
The Byrds
3/5
The Byrds are cool. I don't mind listening to them, but it's funny I actually prefer other versions of two of their biggest hits from this album. I prefer the Dylan version of Mr. Tambourine Man and the Tom Petty cover of I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better. I'm not in a very 60's mood today though so that may be affecting my rating.
The Monkees
4/5
I love the Monkees. They're fun, they don't take themselves too seriously, and their songs are catchy. Yeah, they were a "fake" band for a TV show and the whole schtick was being a blatant Beatles-esque ripoff so you can easily slap a derivative label on them. But they're obviously creative, talented guys who worked well together as a group and the fact that they fought for more creative control over the music and wanted to grow as artists in their own right speaks volumes about them. They may have started out conceptually as puppets for the network but they became so much more. The endurance of their songs well beyond the shelf life of the TV show proves that what they did resonated with a lot people in a truly impactful way. I dig everything they represent and I love their tunes.
It's worth noting that I write this as a person born in the 80's who loved watching their show when I was a kid even though the episodes were already 25+ year old reruns.
Randy Newman
3/5
Who knew Pixar's crown prince of the heartfelt ditty was so sarcastic and satirical? Not I! The unexpected darkness and depth of the lyrical content impresses me, but the showtune-y sheen layered on top of everything gets old fast. I appreciate the way he uses what he's got to make his point, but this won't become every day ongoing listening for me. Glad I stopped by, but even gladder still to be moving on.
Radiohead
1/5
Gross. This is my "being contrarian" musical opinion: I just can't fucking stand Radiohead. They're in the same class as Coldplay for me, pretentious music for pseudo intellectuals who think they have taste. Can we get a Muse album up in here instead please?
David Bowie
4/5
Beauty and the Beast is a killer start to this album. You’re immediately thrust into the eye of Bowie and Eno’s ambient creative art rock typhoon. You just know you’re in for an unforgettable ride. It’s weird, it’s passionate, it’s aggressive, it’s energetic but it’s ominous and foreboding at times too. Quite a ride, but it’s a solid album. I know there are a lot of Bowie entries on the list, he had his most prolific output in the 70’s, but this on earns its spot. I love Heroes, can never tire of that song. This isn’t my favourite iteration of Bowie, but it’s a damn good one.
Paul Weller
1/5
No, just no. This boring crap is not worthy. This is just another beneficiary of the list maker’s UK bias. I fail to see how this makes the cut and yet Weezer’s debut album doesn’t. WTF?!?!
Sonic Youth
5/5
Teen Age Riot is one of the best opening tracks of all time, it situates the listener perfectly for what's to come on an album of hefty tracks. I love the flow and progression throughout, it all melds together so brilliantly. Favourite SY album to date. To agree with another listener, Thurston Moore is just such a dickhead. I have to attribute most of the band's success to Kim to be at peace with my listening experience; she's a goddess and a saint for putting up with Moore's shit as long as she did. Amazing album, so influential and impactful on a lot of bands I love. I adore this one.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
Perfection - a quality listen the whole way through! I've looped it all morning and it's the most productive I've been in a long time. Endlessly listenable, it's such a joyful album. It puts me into a perfect mellow, chill mood. I love that Bob's message still carries tremendous weight, it isn't lost or diluted by the way it's been packaged and presented: calmly, from a place of peace and love.
Missy Elliott
2/5
Not for me. Respect to Missy for being a badass take no shit kind of artist who does things her way. Work It is a hip-hop classic from my high school days and sampling from the Beastie Boys was a cool surprise, but this was never my scene or genre.
The Verve
2/5
Maybe they matter in the UK, but they only had a one hit wonder with the rest of the world when Bittersweet Symphony hit the airwaves. It was a hugely successful song and nothing else on the album punches in its weight class. I find this such a meh choice. It's not horrible, but it's not special either.
Cat Stevens
5/5
An absolute masterpiece. It's a flawless album from end to end. Cat has a remarkable talent for drawing listeners in and connecting with them while bearing his soul. And he does it with beautiful pop-folk arrangements, gorgeous melodies, and emotional poignant lyricism. He stirs my soul in a way that no other artist can. I adore this album!
Pixies
5/5
Magnificent! Every note is a triumph for awkward weirdo oddballs everywhere. This band changed the game in a major way with this album and subsequent albums. They’ve influenced everyone I love musically and I’m so grateful for their sonic contributions to the world. And this isn’t even my favourite Pixies album!! Black Francis is a pioneering genius and Kim Deal is an otherworldly badass being. All hail Pixies!
David Crosby
2/5
Not available on Spotify. Didn’t really have the gumption to listen anywhere else. I know the gist of what Crosby’s all about. Points added for the sheer number of amazing contributors involved. But this is shit. We all know it.
Deep Purple
2/5
Classic rock in its most generic form. It's not hurting anyone, it's just on the radio sometimes. If you like 10 minute guitar solos on every song you'll love this album. If you're like me and you'd rather get to the point already, you'll move on quickly from this to something better.
Beyoncé
1/5
Uggghhhhh. I can't with this crap. There's no merit here. Beyoncé seems like more of a product to me than a person. When a massive team of people does all the work and you just show up to sing, I mean, where’s the artistry in that? It just feels so manufactured and artless.
Buena Vista Social Club
3/5
Musicianship on display here is impressive. It’s just not a genre I enjoy. Album art is cool, I dig its vibe.
Joan Armatrading
4/5
Ooo I am really liking this one! Brand new discovery for me. Down to the Ground reminds me a lot of Van Morrison's Into The Mystic, the progression of it, the cadence. And something about the second track Help Yourself reminds me a lot of Jeff Buckley, there's a quality to the vocals and musical arrangements that feels very Buckley. It's soulful and passionate, but edgy and deep too. Actually this whole album is reminiscent Buckley, but I know Joan came first. I'm so impressed by this groovy badass woman. I think Joan and Jeff might have been kindred musical spirits. I'm so into it!
U2
3/5
I don't hold this album in the same regard as I do The Joshua Tree, but it's a good listen. I'm not a U2 hater, but I'm not obsessed with them either. They've just got some good jams and they make my ears happy sometimes.
Adele
3/5
She’s a damn good singer and I appreciate that her songwriting is deeply expressive without being so blatantly dirty laundry airing the way that idiot Taylor Swift’s is. This isn’t the kind of music I like to listen to, but I have a lot of respect for her tremendous talent. The album feels too repetitive in tone as it goes on to really give me what I need to be converted to a fan.
ABBA
2/5
I listen to ABBA for the hits, not the deep cuts.
Tina Turner
3/5
The balls on Ms. Turner to sing about being a private dancer at 45 years old in 1984 when women were still fighting against such a horribly ageist and misogynistic industry - trailblazer! This album is full of hits. Enjoyed it a lot.
Gil Scott-Heron
2/5
This album isn't on Spotify. They do have the title track and I listened to that to get the gist. It didn't make me want to seek out the rest. It's not for me and I'm okay with unfairly writing it off. If the album art is ugly I have a hard time believing I'll like the music... *shrug* feeling brutally honest today I guess. Is it wrong to judge a record by its jacket? Maybe. But it's why they were invented. That's product marketing, baby!
Ghostface Killah
2/5
Know thyself. I'm 34 years old, white, from the suburbs. I can't relate to a life of drugs and crime. I don't want to live a life of drugs and crime vicariously through Ghostface either. I just don't really give that much of a shit about hip-hop. I can appreciate that it's got catchy hooks and great production, but ultimately Myself knows this is a respectful no thank you, Mr. Killah.
Deee-Lite
3/5
A time capsule of 1990. I had fun with these NYC party starters.
The Avalanches
1/5
18 tracks of noise pollution.
The Divine Comedy
2/5
I usually like the juxtaposition of oddball irreverent lyrics and serious instrumentation, but it just doesn’t work for me in this case. The singer has a great voice, but I’m not picking up what he’s putting down. It doesn’t feel like an authentic expression of self, it feels contrived and forced. Not a standout.
The National
2/5
It’s just so dreary. The whole album is tonally and sonically monotonous. I don’t get all the hype about this band. Bland. Blah.
John Prine
3/5
I appreciate the tongue in cheek irreverence of the songwriting, there's a playfulness there, a subtle sendup of the classic twanging country song in every verse. The deeply earnest "I've got problems" country singer schtick of other artists gets old fast which is why this genre doesn't do anything for me. But I can see Prine up there, winking mischievously at those looking close enough to see it, as if to say "let's not take ourselves so seriously as all that George Jones nonsense, let's have fun." And I'm cool with that. And then there are nuggets of social commentary that don't beat you over the head, and that's cool too. Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore feels relevant in today's American socio-political climate, very on the nose.
Jane's Addiction
3/5
I listen to a lot of 90's alt rock and grunge, so Jane's Addiction comes up frequently in the playlists. I don't mind them, but I'm never enthused when their songs come on either. Sometimes I skip their tracks, sometimes I don't. I'm more likely to skip Jane Says than Been Caught Stealing, take from that what you will. Giving a full Jane's Addiction album a listen hasn't really changed my perspective. I appreciate what they bring to the table, but it doesn't resonate with me in the same way Pixies or Sonic Youth do.
Bob Dylan
5/5
I fucking LOVE this album! This might be my favourite iteration of Dylan, I just love him going electric. I know it caused such a stir back in the day when he shifted his style, but it was a bold ballsy move that works for him. He's always challenged his listeners to keep up with him or fuck off. He goes where his artistry guides him and does what he wants, a total maverick. "Don't ask me nothing about nothing, I just might tell you the truth.”
Subterranean Homesick Blues is an incredible opening track, Maggie's Farm is such a fun bop (I love cranking that one and singing along loudly in the car), and Mr. Tambourine Man is a high watermark of Dylan's songwriting. It's all solid, the whole way through. It's a great fucking album. It is irresistibly fun and cheeky and it will always hold up. Well done, Bob. Well done!
The Band
5/5
This album is an all-time forever favourite of mine. It gives you everything in perfect measure. It's emotional yet ebullient, earnest yet flip, folksy yet full of soul; it's a masterclass in storytelling and songwriting. It takes the listener on an incredible journey of good ole' times with quirky characters through wholly visceral places. It's amazing how pleasantly relatable and fun it can be one moment and how swiftly it turns deep and contemplative.
Helm's vocals have always been the standout for me, he has a way of evoking deep emotion so easily while maintaining this unique twangy cool. Every note drips authenticity. He's so convicted about everything he says; I believe him and I feel like I know him intimately too. It's remarkable the way he can open up and draw you in to his world in the same breath.
I just love this album so fucking much "... and I dig it!"
The Temptations
4/5
Cool, funky, edgy, emotional, powerful. I can dig it!
Rocket From The Crypt
2/5
Sounds like the most generic 90’s punk rock ever, it’s very of it’s time. The singer has the typical snotty punk tone of a thousand punk rock singers before him. It’s basic and derivative and not special. I didn’t outright hate it, but I think a more impactful punk band should have their spot on the list.
Les Rythmes Digitales
1/5
I would prefer something actually listenable on a Sunday. This ruined brunch.
Queens of the Stone Age
3/5
I'm only familiar with the QOTSA songs that get radio play, haven't listened deeply. And I definitely haven't heard any of the songs from their debut album before, just the hits that came after. I like it, it's in the vein of stoner rock that I dig. I think if I'd been listening to this in college it would have stuck with me more. But it's not breaking any new ground or blowing me away sonically. It's better than a lot of the shit I've waded through so far on this list, I'll give it that. The album artwork is horrifically dated and cheap looking though. It's giving me Bollywood hip-hop / basement porno vibes.
Daft Punk
2/5
More french electronica? No thanks. I can at least appreciate the impact Daft Punk have had internationally as artists, points for that. But this is not for me and I hate it.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
This album creates a very specific ambience. It's a humid summer night in the south, I'm on an airboat en route to a Louisiana gumbo party, just cruising through the bayou. I wanna get there while the cornbread is still warm, but I'm also not rushing. I've never done any of those things in my life, but if I close my eyes while I listen to this album I feel like I might have.
Gene Clark
2/5
This guy has such a hard-on for what it means to be a loser and what's true, it's just a constant stream of two-bit country boy philosophizing about life. Which is funny because this album was apparently such an abysmal failure when it was originally released. Some things are better left in the rubbish bin. The album art is gorgeous though, it's exactly the kind of arts and craftsmanship stuff I'd expect to get from my friend who makes me mix CDs as gifts sometimes. That's not shade, that's a legit compliment .
Dire Straits
3/5
A pleasant Friday listen, but it's impossible to overlook the homophobic slurs in Money For Nothing. If you want highly proficient guitar playing combined with soft 80's rock then these are the dudes for you.
Emmylou Harris
3/5
Totally inoffensive and fine musically. But boring and not my scene.
Badly Drawn Boy
1/5
This fucking sucks and I hate it. I won’t mince words today or waste time trying to find merit where there is none.
TV On The Radio
4/5
Pleasantly surprised! There's strong new wave and post-punk undertones on all the tracks that I'm so into. There's also an element of funky IDGAF cool that reminds me of Prince on a few tracks. This one grabbed me by my earholes and took me somewhere I didn't know I wanted to go.
k.d. lang
3/5
k.d. has a beautiful voice, she packs every note to the brim with emotion and her delivery is effortlessly proficient. While Constant Craving is the obvious standout track, the rest just feels like endless buildup to it. Tonally and thematically this album is too homogenous throughout, it gets tired fast. And that's probably why Constant Craving was so successful, it's the only song that stops me in my tracks. It is vibrant, it has motion and life. Has always been.
Frank Black
4/5
Frank Black, Black Francis, Charles, whoever you are on any given day, I love listening to you! I'll always love your work with the Pixies best, but this is a great fucking album. Even though we still get the maximum amount of bizarreness and grime in every track, it feels a bit more refined than Pixies albums do. Like all that bizarreness and grime has been passed through a fine mesh strainer. I do think the runtime is a little long, it could have benefited from some streamlining, but I love it.
Pink Floyd
1/5
One of those "change the station" artists for me. Don't get the appeal, can't fucking stand them.
Motörhead
3/5
Some classic hard rock on a Friday, alright! I've never been a Motörhead fan, but I can get down with this. The guitar does all the work. The lyrics don't offer anything meaningful or profound, but that's what I expect from my rockers. Just a lot of guttural urges and bravado. And that's okay. "Jailbait" is creepy and gross though, that's not cool. Side note: I did not realize Motörhead was such a sexual band in terms of lyrical content and it is not a turn on. I think people who’ve had sex with Lemmy are entitled to some kind of financial reparation.
Mariah Carey
2/5
The longest breathy sigh recorded in human history lasting exactly 57:20.
Nirvana
5/5
This album is the realest, most raw and desperate expression of self that’s ever been recorded. And I think that’s largely why it catapulted Kurt Cobain and Nirvana from obscurity into the stratosphere of iconic mainstream music when it was released. There’s power in all of the unadulterated angst and anger that people immediately connect with, then and now. It’s not overblown hype, this album was the harbinger of a whole new musical era and gave a voice to lonely weirdos everywhere. It is an absolute masterpiece, completely brilliant. Every track is a five star track. It’s fucking phenomenal.
Bad Company
3/5
“Can’t Get Enough” will always make me think of Christopher Walken dancing in Wayne’s World 2 and for that I am grateful.
Earth, Wind & Fire
3/5
Fun, funky, upbeat good times all around.
Living Colour
4/5
Hidden gem! I've never heard of this band before, but I'm really digging their sound. I love the lead singer's vocals, and I love the funky rock fusion. I'm guessing this group has never come up before for me because they were marginalized black voices at a time where there was no room for anyone but white male bands e.g. RHCP or Faith No More. And that means no airtime on MuchMusic. But I'm sure glad I've become acquainted with them now, will definitely revisit! Also, I like that the album art looks like it was designed in MS Paint.
Steely Dan
3/5
I'm not a danfan, gotta say it. I'll always bop along to Reelin' in the Years and I love Dirty Work, but songs like Rikki Don't Lose That Number feel so trite and cheesy to me. It actually sounds like an 80's one hit wonder, which is weird because this is from 1974, so maybe Steely Dan are visionaries and that's why people are nuts about them. But I'm not. They're okay and I'm okay saying that. I guess what I'm really saying is Can't Buy A Thrill is their best album to me. This one is okay, it's better than Countdown To Ecstasy. I'd sure love a hot pretzel for 15 cents, hot damn, that's a hell of a deal! And that’s something we can all agree on.
Joni Mitchell
5/5
Joni's voice is perfection, always, but it is truly magnificent when she's singing this deeply personal and emotional material. This album is her magnum opus, a tour de force, the high watermark of her illustrious career. And she wrote and produced it all herself! Immaculate.
The Shamen
1/5
What the fuck is this shit now? I feel a hatred and rage of Joan Crawford proportions coming on.
“NO ELECTRONICA!! NO ELECTRONICA EVEEEEERRRR!!!!!”
SAULT
2/5
I wish the music was as striking and powerful as the album artwork. Love the concept, but the delivery leaves a lot to be desired. Couldn’t get into it.
Deep Purple
3/5
Watered down Led Zeppelin wannabes. Meh.
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
Was not psyched about this one, absolutely hate the album title. What does "to pimp a butterfly" even mean? But I was surprised, it's not as bad as I expected. There's good stuff here. I appreciate Lamar's commentary and lyricism. The content here is infinitely more interesting than the run of the mill drugs, guns, girls blustering bravado that I hate about most rap and hip hop and can't connect with.
Japan
2/5
Ever notice how generally bands named after places and locations suck? Think about it: Europe? Sucks. Chicago? Sucks. Japan? Sucks.
The theory is sound. Too bad this band isn't.
Johnny Cash
4/5
Solid. Personal Jesus and In My Life were the best ones for me. I don't think I'd listen to this kind of album over and over again. But it's Johnny Cash giving you his one-of-a-kind voice on a lot of great songs, I respect that.
The Who
2/5
Waste of a perfectly good spot on the list for someone else. As a rule I hate live albums. If I wasn’t at the concert I don’t want to hear it secondhand. Lame.
5/5
Spectacular! A flawless album of otherworldly themes, it eschews all the heavy-handed snide emo bullshit that was prevalent at the time. It was a massive breath of fresh air then and it still is now. You can hear and feel the rock stardom yet to come for Bellamy. I love this wholeheartedly.
Mekons
2/5
Someone’s drunk uncle recorded an album of himself doing karaoke at the pub.
Beatles
5/5
How do I call this album iconic without sounding like the Gen Z youth who overuse that word to the point that it's completely lost its impact? If that word still packs any wallop at all, then it's rightly used in full meaning here. The album artwork alone, my god. Everyone on the planet knows it. It also sums up perfectly why George is my favourite. These other dudes in suits and he's giving you Canadian tuxedo hippie man cool. He's the best one! The most enchanting and emotional tracks, Here Comes The Sun and Something, which he wrote both make it onto this album. Bless him for getting a word in edgewise for once!
Excellent songwriting, as always. Incredible, groundbreaking instrumentation. Flawless delivery. It's what we've all come to expect of them at this point in their career.
It is endlessly listenable, never boring, full of nuance and comfort at the same time. It's the perfect chunky cozy sweater that you'll never part with and look forward to cuddling in every autumn.
Gang Of Four
3/5
I liked it, cool vibes. Wasn't that impactful though, didn't leave me wanting more. It was fine and that's fine for today.
Megadeth
3/5
I'll just get this out of the way: I prefer Metallica.
Is Mustaine trying to ripoff Axel Rose's vocal style, or is that just the unfortunate way he sings? If you just wanna rock and don't care how this album will do it for you. There's plenty of slamming metal guitar work to go around. But overall it gets repetitive and bland by the back half of the album. Mega-meh.
Deep Purple
3/5
How many fucking Deep Purple records does someone need to hear? I've had 3 albums from them in a span of 52! Too much!! Thank Brian Christ this one has Highway Star and Smoke on the Water on it though. Classic banger tunes. This is the only DP album you need to hear, the others are just a reiteration of the same points. I hate the album "artwork".
Muddy Waters
3/5
It's a beautiful sunny Friday here in Canada for the first time in months. Spring is trying it's damnedest to spring after a long harsh winter and my energy is high. I'm just not in a bluesy mood. Today would have been a great day for some 80’s Billy Joel instead. I gave Muddy a listen, but it just does not match with my mindset today. Actually, I don't think the blues ever really match my mindset. Respect to Muddy, he is an all-time great musician. Maybe some other day.
Frank Sinatra
2/5
Frank has a classic voice. But the songs and the lyrical content hasn’t aged well. I feel like I’m at a stuffy boring dinner party full of accountants and mortgage brokers who think they’re so sophisticated. This crooner shit ain’t for me.
Marty Robbins
3/5
Marty paired perfectly with Sunday brunch this morning. Thought I’d be disappointed but I liked the storytelling. It was a rootin’ tootin’ good time!
Bob Dylan
5/5
Magnificent output from Bob once again. He's just such an impressive artist, growing and changing with the times but also steadfast with his outstanding poetry and storytelling. It's what we love and expect from him. And it's his 30th studio album! He's a prolific artist who continues to create without ever becoming dull or irrelevant; instead he's only gotten better and better at his craft as the time passes. Unlike some of his contemporaries *cough* rolling stones *cough cough* who still write embarrassingly immature songs well into their twilight years. This is a deep, brooding, introspective masterpiece.
Norah Jones
3/5
A big part of me wants to be snarky and say that I don't want Spotify thinking I'm the kind of person that would actually choose to listen to Norah Jones. Or say that I'm in cheesy lounge singer hell right now. But I listened the whole way through and it was perfectly pleasant. Just because this isn't my scene doesn't mean I need to tear down Norah. She's a fabulous singer. And this album was a huge moment in time when it was released. Even if it wasn't a moment for me, it has definitely earned it's propers and its place on this list.
Steve Winwood
3/5
Straight to video 80's movie opening credits music.
Dexys Midnight Runners
4/5
I'll dance my ass off to Come on Eileen every goddamn time that song comes on and love every minute of it. I'll never get sick of it! But I always thought this band was a one hit wonder. Was pleasantly surprised by this album.
Contrary to everyone else who hates the sloppy vocals and horns I love those things! I like uniqueness and going against the grain. This is the kind of band I'd love to have seen live at a small dingy shithole bar before they got their 15 minutes of fame.
Ooo-ooo ah ah indeed!
Nirvana
5/5
As a rule I hate live albums. Nirvana is the exception, always the exception. This is an emotionally charged, raw set. It’s moving and spellbinding. Kurt has gravitas. The covers are all impeccable too! They fit so well with Nirvana’s own material. It all blends together so seamlessly. So many things going right, it’s just so so good. It hits differently than all other live albums. Bottled lightening. Zap!
Suicide
1/5
Aptly named.
New York Dolls
3/5
These dolls have balls, I’ll give them that. They’re alright, but when I need 70’s New York punk I’ll always prefer the Ramones.
Jurassic 5
2/5
I put it on and tuned it out completely while I was working this morning. Nothing resonated, nothing stuck. I know the name Jurassic 5 and I know they had a major hit at some point in the early/mid-2000's but I could not recall for the life of me what it was and I don't think I ever heard it while this album was on. Just a very meh listening experience overall.
Minor Threat
3/5
Loud, aggressive, angsty punk rock. I liked it, but I didn't love it. There's classic punk rock like The Ramones that I'll always adore, and then there's all this other stuff that I'm just too old for now, like Minor Threat. I no longer connect with bands like this but I appreciate what they did and what they offer to burgeoning punks that are young enough to connect with their message.
Worth noting that I absolutely adore this album art!
Tori Amos
3/5
Not what I would have chosen for myself from the list to listen to on my birthday, but it might just be what I needed.
Tori's voice is incredible, and her songwriting is impressive. I'm in awe of her talent. There's a lot to unpack here, the lyrics are dense with meaning and you can tell this album was a heavily cathartic artistic experience for her. Me and a Gun is bone-chilling. I may not become a regular listener, but goddamn she has my respect now.
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
A moody and brooding atmospheric offering from The Boss that's perfect cool down music on a rainy day when you've been fighting with your spouse before 9am. I dig that harmonica, man. It knows how I and all of Nebraska feel. Bruce is a very talented storyteller and I love his voice. But I have to say, The Band's cover of Atlantic City is far superior. I would have loved for them to cover this whole album to infuse these songs with their carefree country bumpkin Americana enthusiasm.
The Clash
5/5
The definitive punk album of the late 70's, it is an iconic masterpiece. It's one of the records I can put on and sing along to fervently the whole way through. And I immediately feel 21 and invincible again. It's a straight shot of cocky optimistic joy, spitting in the face of the apocalypse and our slowly burning civilized decline. This is powerful stuff. Every single song offers something different, quirky, oddball, unique. These are punks with style, punks with attitude, but also punks with soul. Top shelf stuff right here, it doesn't get any better than this.
Death or glory!! \m/
Incredible Bongo Band
4/5
Hot damn, I enjoyed that a lot more than I was expecting to! That In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida cover hits better than the original! This gives you all the groovy rocking 70s energy you need to pump up the day. It’s fun, I’m a fan.
Stereolab
1/5
Everything about this is wrong. The title is stupid, the album artwork is hideously offensive to the eyes, and the music is absolute crap. I hate this beyond measure.
The La's
3/5
I'm having a good time with this album today. I already knew "There She Goes" because it's one of the most recognizable one-hit wonders of all time. Truthfully, if I have the option I usually skip it when it comes on because it's just so played out for me. But there's some other good stuff here too. I'm not going to be a forever listener or fan from here on out, but I'm glad I spent some time with this album.
Tracy Chapman
5/5
Love love love love LOVE it! I mean, Fast Car. C'mon people! That song alone makes it a 5-star album.
A completely gorgeous album rife with emotional depth and raw spiritual power. Tracy Chapman is an exceptionally talented songwriter and musician. Consider the fact that this album was released in the late 80's when everything else on mainstream radio was superficial pop/rock hair-sprayed within an inch of its life. And this was the record that was finally able to bust through all of that and grab the spotlight?!?! It makes so much sense that this album was a huge smash hit. You can see how desperate people were for something genuine and authentic. Just honest to goodness brilliant and emotional songs that speak to the human condition. It's a masterpiece and a marvel of its time.
Jane Weaver
3/5
Ethereal is the only word that comes to mind to describe this album. I'm not really one for soft wispy electronic music, but this was lovely to listen to this afternoon. Love the album artwork as well, the packaging accurately meshed with what was delivered.
Peter Frampton
2/5
A live double album? What did I ever do to deserve this? Fucking Frampton. He's got a couple of bops, no doubt. But listening to one of them for 4 1/2 minutes on the radio is the correct dosage. I hate listening to people clap and whoop and holler during recorded music.
Nick Drake
4/5
Utterly captivating! This is what Jim Croce would sound like if he was deeply depressed. Drake's gentle instrumentation and introspective storytelling beckon the listener to come closer, come closer, so you can fully immerse yourself in his world. What a beautiful, sad, sensitive soul who was too pure for this world.
Beach House
2/5
This record is the exact sound of all indie anti-pop mainstream records in the 2010s. It takes me back to being 25, wanting to get drunk, party, and listen to anything but this style of music. I don’t dislike it, I just can’t have fun with it. And nothing about this feels special or groundbreaking.
Ministry
1/5
Not the right vibes for my Sunday brunch. Even my skiddy metalhead husband didn’t want to listen to this one. Trusting his finely tuned metal ear, we turned it off before the bacon began to sizzle. Brunch was hot and fresh, this album was not.
The xx
2/5
I cannot process the conceptual absurdity of having a band called The xx and titling the debut album XX but then only putting one X on the cover. Oh, the quirkiness of it all! *eyeroll* What a gamble someone would take buying this album without knowing the band first. Stark black and white, one X. Could be anything, any genre. Imagine buying it, taking it home, putting it on and then what actually comes out of it is just more watered down unoriginal indie? Not knowing this band beforehand, I personally expected something edgier.
It's fine. I just never got into that whispery electronic indie guy-girl singer thing that boomed in the late 00's. It's flash in the pan stuff that doesn't have the musical staying power I need.
The Boo Radleys
4/5
Wow, I really like this album! I saw the horrific cover art and my stomach sank, because I have been known to judge an album by its cover. But this was such a pleasant surprise! It's the groovy fusion of alt rock and psychedelic pop that does it for me. Unexpected joy for today, thanks generator!
Suede
5/5
Pleasantly surprised yet again! I'm really digging this. I love The Smiths and I can hear that influence on Suede's (The London Suede’s?) sound. They're obviously way less maudlin and melodramatic than Morrissey could ever be, but they still give me that beautiful combination of melodic songs and achy alt rock lyricism. The yearning desperation of a 20-something misfit in the 90's is palpable. I like it, and will definitely listen again, and again!
And thank you Suede for the boldly homoerotic album cover, nothing subversive about this. "Have you ever tried it that way?" No, but I'm going to now!
Scott Walker
2/5
Sounds like the kind of obscure album Tarantino would mine for soundtrack material. Scott sings in a voice that is peak old timey crooner, so it's not very exciting as a new discovery to me. Maybe if there was a recognizable nostalgic recollection I could latch onto I'd like it more. But for today, I don't have the time to appreciate this old shit that never made it onto my radar. Meh *shrug*.
System Of A Down
4/5
Every single boy aged 13-17 that I went to high school with in the early 2000s seems to have been fucking obsessed with SOAD. My nu-metal loving skiddy husband was stoked for me to get some System today, his all-time favourite band. He’s a man of his time. There’s more than meets the eye here. I appreciate that it’s not just metal, loud for the sake of loud. The socially conscious hyper-aware lyricism driven by angry, furious instrumentals is so effective. It’s a compelling, well-structured album that rocks.
Radiohead
1/5
I will never like Radiohead, you can’t make me! Fuck this boring, self-indulgent drivel. I hate it.
Alice In Chains
5/5
The darkness and pain at the core of this album emanate aggressively outwards. It grabs you in a vicelike grip and doesn’t let go, immersing you in a world of unbearable raw agony, even after the album is over. It lives in the exact point of intersection between metal and grunge. It’s a tragic listen when you’re already very familiar with Layne Staley’s unfortunate story. But it is ultimately cathartic. And it fucking bangs. Would? is my all-time favourite AIC song; the way it builds is fucking flawless. And it closes the album perfectly. Goddamn magnificent album.
The The
5/5
Fucking brilliant!
The The are criminally underrated and unknown, but they deserve so much more recognition for their powerful, innovative, unique music. This album in particular is a true standout gem of the 80's. It is daring and experimental but also pop as hell somehow. This Is The Day is a heartbreakingly beautiful song; the sentiments expressed in it are both sadly nostalgic and willfully optimistic at the same time. It speaks directly to my soul and calls up an exquisite ache that I'm addicted to. I adore that rich contrast in tone and meaning all of these songs seem to have. This album is endlessly listenable, I get something new from it every time I put it on. It challenges the listener, but it also excites and inspires too. It's just so fucking good, I love it!
Sisters Of Mercy
3/5
There’s a distinct Depeche Mode similarity I’m hearing. And possibly some Tears for Fears rubbed off on them too. I’m alright with it. It’s like those good bands had a little sullen goth okay band.
Metallica
5/5
Whether you like Metallica or not is irrelevant when it comes to this album. Five massive singles, all of them the biggest and most enduring songs of the band’s catalogue, came out of it. You have to give some fucking respect to that no matter what your musical tastes are. And I, for the record, love Metallica. Because of this album. Jesus Christ, it’s got Enter Sandman and Nothing Else Matters on it. That is huge on its own, but then we also get Sad But True, The Unforgiven, AND Wherever I May Roam?!? That’s insanity! It’s just so fucking good. If you need to introduce someone to Metallica, you play this album and that’s it; they’ve been fully indoctrinated and converted to a life of badass high octane metal head banging from here on out. They’re the ones who take you there, fuck yeah! \m/
Nick Drake
3/5
Gentle, sensitive, pleasant. It’s calm and easy listening if you don’t listen too closely. Drake’s delicate songwriting and instrumentation are integral to his vibe. Hazey Jane II was a bit more peppy than the other songs, which was a nice tonal change. But overall, I fail to see a substantial difference between this album and Drake's debut, Five Leaves Left (which I had 2 weeks ago). Seems like only one of them really needs a spot on this list? Having another one that's just more of the same stuff is a wasted space that could have been given to someone else. I liked it, it just didn't offer anything we hadn't already heard. I appreciate the artistry, but I wanted some creative variation on what came before.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
2/5
Couldn’t get into it. Too avant-grade try hard and inaccessible. Meh.
The White Stripes
4/5
I dig it. The White Stripes have effectively created a whole new genre of music with their frenetic musical style and sly lyrical tomfoolery. They are the perfect music for a time capsule - if you needed to encapsulate the early 2000’s in one singular sound The White Stripes would do it perfectly.
Suede
2/5
I had high expectations after loving Suede’s debut album two weeks ago. I feel so let down. It just wasn’t as interesting or engaging as I’d hoped. They steeped themselves thoroughly in some psychedelic rock influences that just didn’t do it for me. It’s a shame, it just doesn’t compare favourably to the first one.
James Taylor
3/5
Oh god. I don't have a problem with this in theory. The sensitive male singer-songwriter. That's fine, if that's who you are. But I don't think that is who James Taylor is. I think it's a well constructed persona to sell records and isn't representative of who he actually is as a person. I don't buy it, I'm highly suspicious of it. Partly because I can't get past a grown man naming his album Sweet Baby James. That is truly wretched. And partly because in this photo he looks so much like my douchebag ex-boyfriend. The flowing long hair and the faraway, emotionally unavailable look in his eyes. I know that look too well. It's a meticulous ruse, a long con. The forlorn and brooding look of the tortured soul bad boy that you could reform, only you and your special love! That look has sucked me into a vortex of bullshit the likes I've never known and I'm not falling for it again. That look is the hallmark of the worst kind of womanizer: the one who truly believes his own manipulative crap. He isn't a player, he's just had bad luck with women. Well, fuck you Luke! Er. James. Fuck you very much. I'm glad he's bald now.
Bee Gees
2/5
I'm sorry, but who even is this band? The cognitive dissonance I have trying to connect these songs with the group I know for Staying Alive is unbearable. This is not the Bee Gees I know or want. If I'm gunna go Bee Gees it's gunna be disco or nothing. There's no fun here. It's like they're trying to repurpose Brian Wilson's exquisite sadness for themselves and doing a piss poor job of it.
Neu!
3/5
Krautrock eh? So this is what it's come to.
It wasn't too bad. This kind of music isn't for me, but it was a pleasant enough listen the whole way through while I was working. Ambient background music that boosted productivity. Is that a compliment? I don't think so. But maybe these Krauts would take it as one.
Burning Spear
4/5
70's reggae always transports me to a very specific mindset of fuck everything and chill. Not fuck it like have sex with it, but fuck it like "fuck it, man". You know what I mean. I am bake. Good stuff.
Run-D.M.C.
5/5
I think it's very vital.
New Order
4/5
Love Vigilantes is an amazing album opener. It sets the tone for New Order to take the wheel and drive you straight to the crescendo of their post-Joy Division glory. Solid album.
Jean-Michel Jarre
2/5
Honestly, how much fucking French electronica does this list need to have?!?! I can’t stand it. It’s just so asinine. Point added for this album art though, because it is really cool. I just cannot stand this music and I’ve had my fill of this niche genre already, thanks.
Depeche Mode
1/5
It's Depeche Mode's Music for the Mases featuring none of their greatest hits! Buy now and you can get all this maudlin synth pop absolutely free because absolutely no one else wants it!
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
It was all very bland. Nothing exciting burrowed into my brain from this listening, it just really missed the mark for me. Which is disappointing because The Killing Moon is a gorgeous song that I love, so I was looking forward to this album. But it’s not on here and these bunnymen are a few years away from that greatness yet.
Green Day
3/5
Never been a Green Day fan. They've got some hits and good rock hooks, but it never felt as authentic to me as some of the other acts at this time who helped revive punk in the 90's, like Bad Religion or Rancid. It's Punk-Lite for spoiled suburban kids who want to feel edgy and have a revolution without ever leaving the comfort of their entitled lives.
Raekwon
1/5
18 tracks, are you kidding me?! That's too much. Too much aggressive fronting and misogyny for me this early in the morning. I cannot connect with or relate to any of this and the album artwork is an assault on my eyes. Do not like.
Dolly Parton
4/5
Quite a short record but it's jam packed with the emotional and earnest storytelling we expect from Dolly. She is vulnerable yet strong and proud, and always uniquely herself which is why she is so loved and adored. I like her 80's music more, but this record is the crown jewel of her career in terms of songwriting. Country isn't my thing, but I had a nice time with this one and I respect Dolly as an artist. Iconic album artwork!
Bob Dylan
5/5
This is Bob at the height of his poetic social justice power. And it’s only his second album! He comes out swinging with Blowin’ In The Wind. The songs are beautiful and moving, the music is an emotional and endearing accompaniment. It’s flawless, an impactful listen every time.
Air
2/5
Jesus fucking Christ, more French electronica? I’ve already had like 8 albums of this junk. This one was probably the best one on the shit heap though. Sexy Boy was a cool song, I’ll give that one props. But overall I can’t fucking stand this crap. Please, throw me a freakin’ Zeppelin bone already, man!
Elliott Smith
2/5
I know this guy is like some indie singer-songwriter darling, but this is the second album I've had from him and it sounds exactly the same as the last one. There's no perceptible difference, it's just another 36 minutes of exactly the same tone, instrumentation, vocals, and lyrics. It just doesn't do it for me *shrug*.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
The casual coolness of an absolute badass posing on his album cover with a half eaten banana perfectly exemplifies what this album is all about: it's a bold new Cohen for a bold new world, it's the juxtaposition of his poetic songwriting with his synth heavy 80's sound. He gives no fucks, takes no shit, and does what he wants. Then he takes Berlin!
Everyone went a little synth crazy in the 80's... you were contractually obligated to try it. But you know, we salute a Canadian icon, always. Do your cool different thing with the 80's cheese factor dialled up past 11, it's all good. If you wanted Tom Waits and The The rolled up into a dang tortilla this is a close enough approximation of what you'd get.
Beatles
5/5
A fantastic album! It's not my favourite iteration of the Beatles, but damn you hear so much innovation on this record. They are sowing major seeds of influence here that countless acts have been reaping for over 50 years now. I do love that we're treated to George's vocals right off the hop, on the very first track, Taxman. He's my favourite Beatle, he was the very best one, it's indisputable, and I just love listening to him sing. Just incredibly influential and an impressive display from masters at the top of their game.
Lenny Kravitz
4/5
It’s a cool, atmospheric album. Lenny has cultivated the 60s ideals of peace and love, and infused them with his smooth funky flow. He’s offering it all up for a new generation of groovy-minded people. I like it a lot. It’s a solid debut album, the perfect introduction of what’s to come.
The Hives
3/5
Bold of you to assume you'd be my new favourite anything. Cheeky buggers.
John Lee Hooker
2/5
It’s the blues, by a legendary artist, a cornerstone pioneering founding father of the genre. I know I should be impressed, but this is just the typical late stage career low hanging fruit kind of album. It feels so manufactured, the complete antithesis of everything the blues are about. The stuff Spotify automatically played when this album finished was better.
Carpenters
4/5
Karen Carpenter’s ethereal voice sells the soft rock fantasy with ease. You’re getting iconic songs delivered by a voice too pure to exist. It gives me chills.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Paint It Black is about as perfect as it gets for an opening track. I like the stones, it’s an enjoyable listen for the most part. But there is quite a lot of cringey misogyny that hasn’t aged well at all. The classics are classic for a reason, and the rest is reduced to disappointing filler as time marches on.
Prince
5/5
Fuck yeah, finally! Finally I’m graced with an album from The Purple One, Prince!
I mean, c'mon people, this album opens with 3 of Prince's best, most danceable and memorable songs. One minute it's defiant "we're here for a good time" philosophizing, the next its manic desperate horniness boiling over. This album was a seismic shift in the rules of male pop superstardom and a glorious precursor of what was still yet to come from this formidably talented man. Prince has a rapidly sliding scale of moods and energies that take the listener on one hell of a ride. From tenderly suggestive to outright sexual vulgarity, Prince does whatever the fuck he wants, says whatever the fuck he wants, and fucks however the fuck he wants. And the music is always superbly fitting his attitude du jour. Nobody flies their freak flag higher than Prince and it is a spectacle to behold. Utterly unforgettable.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
I'm not generally a fan of double albums because they start to feel tedious and I don't always have 2 hours of uninterrupted listening time to fully appreciate them. But goddamn, Stevie provides ample variety tonally, musically, sonically, and lyrically throughout that the hour and forty-five minute runtime never gets stale. I think almost every single song on this album has been sampled, imitated, or borrowed from in some way, it's just such a massive supernova of influence! Conceptually, you think "life" is a very broad topic, but damn if Stevie doesn't find a way to hit on every universally relatable facet of it in these songs. Everything about this album works, it is an immaculate listening experience and an absolute tour de force from one of the all-time greatest musicians to ever live.
Jacques Brel
2/5
It's gunna be a no for me, dawg. I'm a lyrics first listener and I don't speak french. Jacques sounds convicted about what he's saying but I don't know what the hell it is, so for all I know he's going on about putting his dick in the middle of a baked brie. Can't enjoy what I can't understand. Quelle dommage!
The Beach Boys
5/5
Gorgeous harmonizing! I just love the way the Beach Boys sound, it’s the most nostalgic sound in the world to me. This is a fucking great album. You get fun, catchy songs that have matured out of corny surfing themes, but still emanate youthful joy. Brian Wilson is a stunning delicate genius who is too pure for this world.
Silver Jews
1/5
Sucks. I hate the music and the insipid trying too hard to be “different” lyrics. I hate the sucky ass ugly album cover too. Sucks.
Liz Phair
5/5
Seminal album of my young adulthood. I discovered Liz Phair in college and immediately related to everything she was singing about. The ideas of empowered female sexuality, owning your desires, and deciding for yourself what your narrative will be in relationships resonated deeply with me. I love her minimalist production too. The songs are so well-written, so sharply observant, biting and acerbic with a cynicism unheard of at her age. But damn if there aren’t sad pathetic little nuggets of optimism throughout as well. You root for this girl, you believe in this girl, you are this girl. Her dry monotone vocals shouldn’t work, but they do. They’re somehow sultry and raw all at once. Phenomenal album from a unique talent and a powerful voice we needed at this time. Thank you Liz for helping me feel empowered about my burgeoning sexuality and for helping me feel seen.
Dire Straits
3/5
It's fine. Sultans of Swing is one of those ubiquitous classic rock songs that I know all the words to. It's really the only thing I care about on this album. A chill 40 minutes of listening but it didn't rock my world or make me want to dig deeper into this band.
The Byrds
3/5
The Byrds getting weird with it and not singing any songs written by Dylan eh? I don't know... Experimental possible originating point of psychedelic rock? Okay, I guess that's something. Turn! Turn! Turn! is stiff competition though, the pinnacle of success for the Byrds and probably their most worthwhile contribution to music. I can vibe with this, but it doesn't get me high.
Gene Clark
2/5
A Gene Clark album immediately following an album by The Byrds? And not just any album by The Byrds, literally the album they released after Gene Clark left them? Coincidence or collusion? Ooo it makes me wonder.
Oh great, this is also a massive commercial and critical failure that made no ripples across the pond in North America... yeah this will be fun. Side rant: how is this my second Gene Clark album and I still haven't gotten any Led Zeppelin? I thought this list was going to be non-stop banging rad music. Wtf.
Back to Gene now. Boring, boring boring. It bores in the morning. It bores in the evening. It bores me at suppertime.
N.W.A.
4/5
"If ya fuck wit me I'll put a foot in ya ass" - words to live by.
Wilco
3/5
This is not Friday music. It does not mesh with all of my whims and the lighthearted frivolity I'm feeling today. I'm going back to N.W.A
Lou Reed
5/5
A brilliant solo offering from Lou Reed. I fucking love this record. There’s no denying the amazing Bowie influence and production here, but it still has the dank New York stink of Lou’s piss all over it. It’s spectacular. The clever and biting lyricism meshes beautifully with the vulnerable moments of introspective poetry sprinkled throughout. The musicality steers further into the rock n roll vein but retains elements of the avant-garde Velvet Underground style, and that fusion begets Lou’s acquaintance with early glam rock in a truly glorious way. Oh, it’s such a perfect album! It just keeps me hanging onnnnnnn.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
The proggiest prog rock that ever progged.
The Who
5/5
Lot of enduring mega hits on this album, can’t deny that. Baba O’Reilly is a killer opening track, perfectly sets the tone for everything that follows. It’s a very precise and expertly executed album. The absolute best that The Who can be.
Mike Oldfield
3/5
What a ride! I did not expect to enjoy this as much as I did. It started off on a deeply eerie note with the actual theme music used for The Exorcist. Those opening tones carried so much menace I wasn't sure I could listen to a full album of it. As it progressed to the midway point of the first track it leaned into a more triumphant rock groove. And it just kept shifting and changing tonally countless other times from there. It was an oddball record that charmed my way through to the end.
Beth Orton
2/5
Folktronica, really? Fuck right off. I love folk but I hate electronica, it's pineapple on pizza all over again.
Now that I'm listening though, I don't think folktronica is the right genre label for this... it's just more like Norah Jones if she smoked in the bathroom because of peer pressure, trying too hard to be cool.
This sucks, but it's way lighter on the electronica than I expected so my ears appreciated that.
ZZ Top
3/5
Eliminator is way better.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
Very excited for more Velvet Underground, I've been on a huge Lou Reed kick since getting Transformer a few records back. This is a good, solid album, I'm digging it. But dang, I do miss John Cale. His influence is unmistakable on past albums, the best VG is a VG with Cale on board. Pale Blue Eyes is a standout track, fucking love that song.
Aimee Mann
2/5
You said it, sister. Whatever.
The Beau Brummels
3/5
Light and breezy San Fran rock that I liked having on while I made brunch for my family today. Laugh, Laugh is still the best Brummels song, there were no standouts like it on this album. But it was pleasant.
Jimi Hendrix
2/5
I know this is like, blasphemous, or whatever. But I've always found Jimi Hendrix so incredibly boring. He's got skills, yes. He's got some hits, sure. But this album has nothing remotely interesting on it. This album is Hendrix at his worst, it's just so self-indulgent and obnoxious. The 39 minute runtime might as well be 39 years, it's just such a slog to get through.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
2/5
Are we really going to pretend that Frankie Goes To Hollywood is more than a one-hit wonder? I mean, COME ON! This is crap. One karaoke worthy song does not an incredible must-hear album make.
Sinead O'Connor
4/5
An album rife with complexities and contradictions. A perfect portrait of Sinead as an artist, it encapsulates her uniquely polarizing persona and multifaceted talents so precisely. She’s soft, vulnerable, ethereal. Intense, scathing, and irascible. She broke the damn mold beyond any possible repair when she released this album out into the wild. Sinead is the kickass, boldly authentic powerhouse we needed at this time.
The only Faces song I like is Ooh La La and it’s not here. This band is just so mediocre. Rod’s a cool cat, and I dig his voice, but this is all just so lacklustre. Meh to the power of Meh squared.
The Smiths
5/5
Magnificent. The best Smiths album. Morrissey is at the height of his maudlin melodramatic lyrical superpowers. It’s just so sonically delicious the way Marr and Morrissey’s different strengths compliment each other. I’m addicted to it, I can’t get enough, I can listen endlessly. You discover something new and fascinating with every play, their music is just jam packed with nuance and pithy potency. The Queen is Dead and The Smiths are too, but I do so wish they’d ride again.
Public Enemy
1/5
I’m disappointed. Never listened to this group but Chuck D is one of those hyped up figures so I assumed I’d hear something interesting. There was no variety throughout, just all the same tonally. Didn’t live for it, wasn’t impressed by it. Repetitive and dull.
New Order
2/5
I hate to say this about New Order, but this album is dreadful. It's like the last sad, desperate grasp at their former glory. None of the tracks are distinguishable from one another, it's just the same song over and over again. Not for me. Rating 2 stars though because I sure respect the hell out of their earlier catalogue.
Q-Tip
2/5
Progressive hip-hop? *groooooooooooans*
I swear this project is closing my mind more than opening it. There were some good beats, I'll give it that. But the vocals were so grating. It's not my scene, I don't like it, no thank you.
Aretha Franklin
5/5
Flawless album. Iconic voice. Obvious 5 stars.
Elvis Costello
4/5
I dig it. I like Costello's sound, I love his unconventional and quirky vocal stylings, and I love his lyricism. You never get a predictable love song or rock and roll dirge; there's always rich layers of complexity and nuance in the songwriting that give the listener so much to mull over. Especially if you're a lyrics first listener like myself. This isn't the best possible iteration of Costello though. This is someone who knows himself, knows what he's capable of and delivers it expertly. But it isn't Costello at his most powerful and impressive magnitude.
Nitin Sawhney
2/5
It's a bit better than I expected, but I still don't like it. I need music that I can connect with, that has an element of fun. This was a chore. And "I don't do the dishes, I throw them in the crib."
4/5
Haven't listened to PJ at all before, knew the name and the big single Down By The Water, so this is completely new territory for me. I'm enjoying the grittiness of this album. The vocals are excellent, and the music has a sinister quality to it that pairs well with the singing and lyrical themes. I like it. I don't know that I'll go out of my way to listen to it on my own, but I like that I have a better sense of this artist now.
Also, I love that PJ is looking like Rashida Jones on this album cover. Gorgeous!
The Flaming Lips
4/5
It’s aptly titled. You sure do get what you pay for with this one, lots of songs about fighting robots. Do You Realize?? is a beautiful timeless song. The opening track Fight Test is a killer album kickoff song, I was really into it. Overall, I dig it.
Brian Eno
2/5
Mad respect to David Byrne and Brian Eno because they are titans of musical production and artistry. But I just don’t like electronica. I tried, but I’m not into it. Sorry dudes, I prefer Talking Heads and Roxy Music to whatever this is.
Grateful Dead
5/5
Aptly named. This is a beautiful album of genuine Americana rock. Such a lovely, folksy, rocking album. And it doesn't even have any of my favourite Dead songs on it!! But damn, it's just so good. Jerry can take the wheel any time, I know I'm in good hands. Ripple is a standout track, and Truckin' is the ultimate ode to road trippin', but Friend of the Devil is a powerful ditty too. I can see why people tossed their lives aside to follow these guys and jam all day long. What a cool, chill way of life. Wish I'd been able to do the same. Rest in power, Jerry! Fucking love you dude. And the rad ice cream you inspired too :)
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
Fuck yes! I love me some CCR. This is the soundtrack of my early childhood, my dad in the kitchen cooking up dinner for his three rambunctious daughters, the shitty Sony radio on the countertop with this tape in it filling our house with good time tunes. They are the most classic of all the classic rocks for me because of the way they take me back to that place in an instant. John Fogerty has one of the all-time greatest voices because of the way it fuses blues/rock/country sounds into an unforgettable gritty rasping growl. The lyrical content and themes are perfectly complimented by the badass honky tonking guitar work. It's a whole ass mood of down home fun.
I can still hear my old hound dog barkin', chasin' down a hoodoo there.
Rush
4/5
Right on, man! Gimme that sweet sweet Rush!
Excellent album, so much amazing rock. I love Geddy’s frenetic singing on this album. Definitely their most iconic artwork on the cover. Tunes are all solid. But not as good overall as Moving Pictures. Respectable 4 star rating.
Tom Waits
3/5
I like quirky. I like oddball. I like weirdoes and divergent personalities. I appreciate kitschy and campy artists. But I need them to be accessible to me on some level to truly love them. Mad respect to Waits for being all of these things and then some, but I think his reach exceeds my grasp. Some of the instrumentals were quite enjoyable, and when Tom sings a bit softer I can connect (Johnsburg, Illinois). Overall though, the intensity of his trademark growl is just too jarring for me to enjoy for an entire album runtime. Love this album artwork though, it's magnificent!
Michael Jackson
4/5
Ooo ooo oo! POW! Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough! Waaa ooo eeee ooooooooohhhhhh! Yeeee heeee heeeee ya!
(I'm having way too much fun to articulate properly how I feel about this one.) Juggernaut! Titan of musical talent and prowess! Perfect listening for a Friday! I'll never get any work done because I can't stop dancing. I just love it, it's the epitome of disco fun and funk. It's the falling in love with this album all over again that's making me high... ooo ooo oo!
Ananda Shankar
2/5
Oh okay. Never heard the Rolling Stones in sitar before. Not for me, but it kept my toddler chill during breakfast.
Thelonious Monk
4/5
I’m a total jazz n00b. I have no clue how to evaluate this album, other than to say it was pleasant to listen to during my Sunday brunch. That seems to equate to a 4 star rating.
Justice
1/5
Cross by Justice? And it's French electronica you tell me? I couldn't muster an ounce of enthusiasm for this even if you paid me a million dollars.
Say it with me again everyone, in the hopes it actually comes true this time: NO MORE FRENCH ELECTRONICA!!!!!!
The Louvin Brothers
1/5
Ah yes, the music of old fashioned wife beating inbred alcoholics who've convinced themselves they're just salt of the earth decent folk. An unbearable amount of twang and Jesus.
"Ira was notorious for his drinking and short temper. He married four times, his third wife having shot him multiple times in the chest and hand after he allegedly beat her." Yeah, fuck that guy and all his hypocritical gospel songs about love and faith.
Jethro Tull
3/5
No familiarity with Tull beforehand, other than knowing the titular track Aqualung and it's instantly recognizable riff that is the epitome of "classic rock". I always considered them to be "dirtbag rock", you know, rock for dirtbags. But I'm detecting notes of "chamber music nerd" and "prog rock weirdo" throughout this album. There's also a heady amount of Jazz Flute peppered throughout. I'm not a convert or anything, but I had some good times with this one. Guess that makes me a bit of a dirtbag after all.
Lauryn Hill
4/5
I mean, if we’re talking about albums with a massive cultural influence look no further. Huge. Ambitious. Powerful. It’s got grit AND effervescent sparkle in spades. If the artist’s aim is to achieve greatness by mining their soul to expose its plumbed depths, Lauryn succeeds astoundingly in that regard. We Stan a beautiful vulnerable and raw black queen who raised the bar for everyone!
Blur
3/5
I liked the top half of the record, but then it started to get a little bit tedious and repetitive. Meh. Made me wish I was listening to Squeeze instead, just craving a different kind of British sound today. I want less moody meandering 90's and more zany new wave. It's Friday! I want to have fun! Squeeze should have a record in this list, but I'll be quite disappointed if they don't, especially given the heavily biased UK listmakers influence on the chosen records.
Billie Holiday
2/5
Billie is a legend no doubt. But like dang, did she ever have a frog in her throat! I listened the whole way through and there just wasn’t enough variety throughout. Bit of a snoozer this one.
Willie Colón & Rubén Blades
3/5
Greatest selling salsa album of all time with the weirdest fucking album art I’ve seen to date. Didn’t understand a lick of lyrics so I have no idea if this cover maybe makes some kind of sense after all? It was cool though, went well with brunch this week.
Portishead
1/5
It is an album. People on it made sounds in a facsimile of music. It sucks and I hated it.
Madonna
4/5
I came of age with 90s era Madonna and my first “album” of hers was The Immaculate Collection, her first greatest hits compilation. So to me, she’s one of those “just the hits” kind of artists. And let’s be honest here, her hits are huge, they totally slap, and all of them unlock core formative years memories for me. The remix of Express Yourself on the compilation album is so much better than this original version. When I got around to buying this album I remember feeling kind of let down by it in comparison. I forgot how much I liked Love Song, that collaboration with Prince is the best thing on this album to me now. They play off of each other in such a sexy way, I dig it.
Saint Etienne
1/5
Let me tell you a little story about French club/house music: NO!
Janis Joplin
4/5
Voice of a booze soaked angel.
Ice Cube
2/5
Okay, Cube. You're the predator. Sure.
Ice T
2/5
Two Ice’s back to back and neither of them were special to me. I just… it’s not for me. Sorry, I’m not someone who likes or wants to listen to gangster rap. *shrug*
The Electric Prunes
1/5
I’m sorry, are they singing about a fucking Tuna Melt Trolley?? Huh? Ohhh Toonerville. Oookay. This whole thing is nonsense garbage. It’s crap.
Björk
2/5
It’s not for me. Big Time Sensuality is an alright song, but I can’t do a full album of Björk’s oddball schtick. Long live this proud freakish weirdo, but she’s not of my tribe.
Cocteau Twins
2/5
90's Cocteau Twins? No thank you! I don't even like 80's Cocteau Twins when they were arguably worth listening to. It's just dreary and bland. Pointless really.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
4/5
Bob wouldn't want me to kill the mood with in depth analysis of his tunes, he'd just want us all to smoke some weed and have a good time. And Bob is always a good time. I loved spending my morning with this album, it put me in such a calm, chill mood for the workday ahead.
Peace, love, weed, and chill.
Ash
2/5
This is a very 90's album cover, it hinted to me that this was maybe a grunge or post-grunge album. But okay, we got some power Britpop, sure. I don't understand the rationale or connection to 1977? The title doesn't fit what the album actually is. There are some catchy rock/pop tunes here. It's a bit like Belle and Sebastian with some nerve, but not a lot of nerve. The vocals are too soft and wispy for my liking, they are often overwhelmed by the music and hard to hear. As a lyrics first listener that's just not going to work for me.
Billy Bragg
5/5
I love this. It vacillates so nicely between Bragg's sweet and folksy approach to Wilco's moody atmospheric style. Billy Bragg and Wilco really seem to understand Woody Guthrie and what's at the heart of his songwriting. They've interpreted his lyrics beautifully here for a newer audience. I feel like part of something special listening to it. And I love love LOVE this album cover! I love looking at it, it reminds me of all the times I spent walking around my city, wandering, finding cool hidden gems all by myself. But I won't say which ones! If you could bottle the feeling of walking through a city you love with no plans and nowhere to be, I'd pay anything for it. This album is close enough for now.
Orbital
1/5
Jesus fucking Christ, there is entirely TOO MUCH electronica on this bloody list. I really do feel like if you've heard one electronica record, you've heard them all. Why are there so many?!? I hate this.
Rod Stewart
2/5
Damn, Rod Stewart is such a basic bitch. I enjoy his raspy vocals when I hear Maggie May on classic rock radio, don't get me wrong. I just had no idea the songwriting in his broader catalogue was so full of sappy poor-man's witticisms and cliches. "Nighttime is only the other side of daytime" and "War time is only the other side of peace time" *eyeeeeeee rollllllll* Also, peep the lyrics on the album's titular track, just rampant misogyny and racism. It's hard to listen to some mediocre old white man talk so much shit about women.
Don McLean
2/5
The first time I ever heard this song I was 10 years old at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party and the karaoke MC was singing it to us bratty pre-teens in between our pitchy screeching renditions of Spice Girls and TLC songs. Now I realize he wasn’t singing to us, he was singing to himself as some sort of protective self-care break mid-gig to persevere through the remaining hours of his shit job. The day the music died indeed.
Madonna
4/5
The singles from this album are absolute FIRE! I really enjoy this era of Madonna. The overall flow and point of view here is so cohesive and focused. She's still putting a very trite spin on all of the Eastern ideologies she's exploring, but it is an impressive feat of adaptation and growth for Madonna's music and artistry when you consider where she started. Even though I fucking hate electronica with the fiery burning of a 1000 suns, somehow I like it when it's been heavily distilled through Madonna.
Motörhead
3/5
"a road that don't have no end" - that's as apt a description as any for this album. I do really like the cover though, it's a bitchin' stage setup.
Orbital
1/5
Oh bloody hell, here we go, more fucking electronic garbage. Seriously, this is my 330th album so far and my 27th of the electronic genre. That's too many! I realize that 27/1001 is only about 2% market share for genre, but like goddamn, even that is too much for me. I do not want this on a train, I do not want this in the rain. I will not put this music in my brain.
John Grant
5/5
Oh! Quelle surprise!The vocals are gorgeous! Lush, and enthralling. The instrumentation is magical. What an incredible combo. It slaps you in the face immediately with its point of view and personality on TC and Honeybear. I'm a huge fan of quirky, oddball, weirdo lyrics presented with straight up earnestness and unapologetic frankness. This is the niche divergent music I am so grateful for. A true hidden gem.
I absolutely hate this album cover though. It's so awful and creepy, it does the beautiful music on this album no justice whatsoever and probably alienates a lot of potential listeners. I wasn't excited about it when I saw it. I dreaded it actually. What a pleasant surprise though, I'm glad I gave it a chance.
Kelela
2/5
Boring basic bitch music. Very meh, very that.
Arcade Fire
2/5
Music for basic white men bitches. I don't know, man. It just sounds like every single indie artist of the 2010's with that whiny forlorn, yet aloof "cool artist guy" sound. Meh.
John Coltrane
4/5
A nice departure from all the electronic crap I've been assigned recently. I was into it. The "love supreme" vocals that kicked in out of nowhere were kind of creepy though. They were just so jarring and at odds with the generally cool vibe of the music.
Franz Ferdinand
4/5
This album is a perfect time capsule for the 2004 that I experienced.
The The
4/5
Fuck yeah! I'm into it because I already know and like The The. But I prefer Soul Mining because it is the superior album.
Terence Trent D'Arby
3/5
Some undeniable bops here. Dude is talented, and I like the way he brought something more soulful to 80s pop. A solid debut, not the best ever made, but solid.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
This is some form of divine pathetic fallacy intervention for me today. The deeply ominous sounds of this album perfectly mesh with the broiling internal rage I'm currently experiencing because of shitty workplace motherfuckers that have pushed me beyond my capacity for patience. Well done, Leonard, you know what it's like when people be hasslin' and harassing you. Travelling Light is the way to go it seems, good life philosophy.
The Clash
4/5
It’s The Clash, you’re guaranteed a good time. London Calling is the magnum opus, but this is the raucous debut that set us down that path to greatness. Respect for a fucking killer introduction to the world.
The Byrds
3/5
A bunch of basic bitches imitate the Beatles.
The Allman Brothers Band
2/5
I hate live albums and I hate bloated, overindulgent track run times. This is way more bluesy than I expected, which is great. But I still can't enjoy the tracks that are over 8, 13, 19, and 23 minutes long. It's just so self-gratifying of the artist and demanding of the listener.
Serge Gainsbourg
1/5
French music is already way overrepresented in this list, but now you want me to listen to an album about a lecherous old pedophile "romancing" an underage girl? FUCK NO! "Oh this album is so influential" say sexual predators, creepy old bastard men and rape apologists because it gives their sick and disturbed predilections validation. This album is garbage and should be wiped from the cultural landscape.
The Afghan Whigs
2/5
Giving me strong sonic similarity to Soul Asylum. It was fine, but I can see why these guys never made it truly big and are an obscure unheard group. It's not their fault they were eclipsed by the most major grunge and alt rock bands of all time. They just don't have the presence to go toe to toe with Kurt, Eddie, Chris, Layne, Gavin, Billy, Anthony, Dave, Rivers, or even Thurston and Frank Black. They know how to rock, but they ain't got that secret star power sauce.
Fleet Foxes
3/5
It's pretty chill, I can vibe to it. But I prefer Lord Huron for my modern folk, tortured indie artist tunes. I love this album cover! I could look at it for hours, it's very amusing and captivating.
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
It’s the best Jimi ever was. Killer tunes, wailing guitar, rock the fuck out. I dig.
Wire
4/5
Startlingly still relevant 70s punk I’ve never heard before? The dark and foreboding lyrics paired with the fast and raw musicality really worked for me. I’m going to give this one multiple listens.
Alice Cooper
3/5
A much more polished and tonally mature album than School’s Out is, which I rated 1 star back when I didn’t realize how much actual legitimate crap music would be ahead of me. I liked this one, No More Mr. Nice Guy is one of those very classic classic rock songs that I always enjoy. Hello Hooray is a fun and irreverent track that I forgot I liked as much as I do. Good times.
The Kinks
3/5
A whimsical and cheeky record. There are deep layers of humour and wit buried beneath quirky instrumentation and 60s hippie counterculture vibes. Very bri’ish, but in the best possible way.
Garbage
1/5
Garbage is exactly that, garbage. I hate to be so basic in my review and say the very obvious thing, but it's not just obvious in this case, it's resoundingly true. This is one of those bands that I skip when they come up in playlists or change the station on the radio for. I hate their sound, I hate the singing. The lyrics are all such whiny pathetic attempts to be the "edgy cool girl". "I'm only happy when it rains" - oh how pithy! how unique you are! *eyeroll*. This is the lowest point of 90s alt rock for me. I tried going into this with a more open mind today, to see if some of the deeper cuts annoyed me less than the singles, but it truly was all GARBAGE.
Turbonegro
4/5
Put this album on to ROCK. THE. FUCK. OUT!!
It's high octane, head-banging, air guitar-ing goodness all around. Musically, it's powerful, pulse pumping stuff but lyrically there's this very self-deprecating and tongue in cheek underbelly to the seemingly raw and unapologetic cock rock veneer. I love that about it, these guys send up the egotistical self-absorbed rock star character so well. But most importantly of all, it's just so fucking FUN!
Donald Fagen
3/5
I'm not that into Steely Dan, but this album feels like the best elements of their sound and style. I guess Fagen is 99% of Steely's essence? Huh, kinda seems like why even bother going solo? This is just a Steely Dan album with only Fagen's name on it. I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would though, and that's probably because these songs are all brand new to me and haven't been played to death by classic rock radio, unlike Ricki Don't Lose The Number or Reeling in the Years have. I love this album cover, it's a spectacular photograph, it evokes a mood perfectly fitting the album title.
Johnny Cash
3/5
It's another live Johnny Cash album, what else is there to say? It's a typical Cash performance, he really plays it to his rough and rowdy hardened criminal audience like he's one of them. You've got his deep gravelly voice that lends all of his songs so much authenticity and his easy self-assured delivery of every song, it's exactly what's expected of him. It's fine, but it's not exciting, and I don't think it's his best live prison album. Folsom is better.
Animal Collective
2/5
Nah man, not for me. It had nothing I could relate to or vibe with. It’s just a bunch of meh white noise pop. Made no impact. Cool magic eye kinda album cover though.
The Offspring
3/5
It’s such a high energy album laden with full blown snotty 90s punk attitude. There’s no real danger here though, it all feels very put on, an act played up for the cameras and promptly dropped the very second the director yells “cut!” These guys were so gimmicky in the way they served punk to the masses. They presented such an outlandish caricature of a punk rock band. The music is fun though, don’t get me wrong! Some core memories unlocked, a staple of my misguided youth and all that. It’s easy to see why The Offspring made a splash, they did all the right things and hit their marks, but then their fad came to an end and the world moved on to the next musical trend that kids could form their whole high school identities out of: I’m looking at you here early aughts emo kids.
Supergrass
3/5
That one single, Alright, I recognized. It’s a fun song, heard it used before in lots of movies and ads. The rest is generic Brit pop rock, unremarkable.
Tito Puente
3/5
Reminds me of the music my Peruvian neighbour listens to when he's doing yard work or tinkering in his garage. He's a good dude that José, great neighbour.
The Mars Volta
2/5
It’s not for me. It has a lot of good stuff going for it, early aughts prog revival, Flea performed on a few tracks, band member dies tragically of a drug overdose before the album release. I’m just not able to meet it half way.
Laura Nyro
2/5
I feel badly about this, but I’m seeing Pearl Jam tonight so my ears don’t give a single shit about anything else. It’s all PJ all day and night for me. I put Laura on my shower radio and she just kinda killed my vibe. I know I’m not giving her a fair shake, and I feel badly about that, but it is what it is today. Eddie Vedder is my whole universe right now.
Le Tigre
5/5
Yes yes yes yes yes yes!!! This is one of my all-time favourite albums ever!!! Kathleen Hanna is THE 90s badass feminist hero I needed. I love the aggressively screeching vocal tones she brings to her performances and I also love the soft vulnerable side she shows. Women are strong powerful beings and we’re unstoppable when we’re given space to speak our minds freely and exist in a respected space. She has such a unique perspective and communicates it so unapologetically. I love every minute of this album: it gives you a killer in your face balls to the walls opener with Deceptacon, then takes you through a winding and frenetic feminist journey celebrating pride, iconic women, New York, and art that culminates with an impassioned moment of gratitude for music and people who make a difference in our lives with Les and Ray. I love the way that song sounds and the genuine appreciation for divergent lifestyles and alternative pathways that it expresses. It fucking rocks so fucking hard! It’s so wildly and daringly different from everything else that was on the market in 1999 and I salute it.
Tim Buckley
2/5
Oh fuck this racist, womanizing deadbeat dad douchebag. He gets two entries on this list and Weezer gets none?!? Fuck that.
Neil Young
3/5
Well, I can’t listen to this one today because Neil decided to go all Old Man Yells at Cloud at Spotify and that’s my only streaming option right now. I know it’s good though, heard it before so I’ll review on the fumes of my last listen. Neil is at his full raspy and raw power here. It’s not as good as Harvest, let’s be clear about that. But he is a Canadian icon, a rocking dude that we all love up here in the Great White North. I still appreciate you Neil, even though the crusade on Spotify is only hurting yourself.
Hole
4/5
I remember seeing this album for sale at Blockbuster when I was 11 and being too afraid to buy it. It was shelved beside Nine Inch Nails which I knew was too intense for my innocent child brain. I bought Counting Crows instead. It was a solid choice and I stand by it. But I do wish I’d known about the aching transformative powers of Hole sooner. I got there eventually though. This is a great fucking album. Not as good as Live Through This, but a strong foray into the newly pop washed late 90s for Courtney.
Laibach
2/5
I cannot. This is so inaccessible to me on so many levels. I don't understand a lick of the language being sung (German?) and it makes me feel like I'm at a rally for an abhorrent political stance that I would never align with. I'm making so many generalizations that are probably so off base, but it's just the way it makes me feel. I don't want any part of this. And the album cover is totally uninviting. Not for me.
Aphex Twin
2/5
Ugh. I was hoping for better for my 365th album - one full year of doing this project now! It's fun and I like doing it, but I will say there has been WAY more crappy music than I've ever expected. When I signed up I was thinking it'd be all hits all the time. But it's more like some hits, sometimes.
PJ Harvey
2/5
I want to like it, but it's just too abrasive for me. Which is weird because I love Hole, Bikini Kill, L7, The Breeders, etc., lots of other amazing women led acts from the 90s that strove to share a unique point of view with the world through their music. Maybe I need to listen a few more times to acquire the taste, but I just don't have the energy for that today. It's like the music, the vocals, the melodies, and the lyrics are all fighting for my attention and I can't hear it properly. It's not creating a cohesive whole, it's creating a jarring racket that doesn't give my ears something solid to latch onto and enjoy. Sorry, PJ. I appreciate you, but I'm not into this.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
It is so of its own time, so very very 80s. It’s a glamour shot of a teenager taken at the mall. All teased up 80s hair sprayed to high hell, boldly overdone tacky makeup, smiling at the camera with the absurd confidence only someone who looks like a total clown but thinks they’re the shit can pull off. All “glamour”, it’s soul splayed out right up on the surface level, no depth.
Ryan Adams
1/5
Fuck this predator piece of shit abusive garbage man. I’m not giving him a dime of royalty money today or ever! Justice for Mandy Moore and Liz Phair. I’d rather listen to a Bryan Adams album.
Kacey Musgraves
1/5
No thanks. It’s one of those specialty cocktails that’s all syrup and grenadine and you can’t even taste the tequila. You doubt they even put tequila in it because it’s so sugary. But they charged you like it was given a proper 1.5oz from the top shelf. Pop country only appeals to the lowest common denominator of people. I can’t imagine what there is in this album content wise that merits our attention. Again I have to harken back to Weezer. Why the fuck is the Blue Album NOT on the list but this is?!?! I’m rating this a one, admittedly maybe too harshly, but I’m just so stymied by some of the list maker choices.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
Weeeeelllllllllll...
CCR is a constant 5 star band in my books. I'll always love listening to John Fogerty's deep-fried country twang. This album showcases it perfectly in so many diverse ways, with bluesy rockers and soulful ballads throughout. You get something special on every track, that down home charm of some humble music loving folks. Y'all come back now!
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
First off, let me just say wow! I saw this one come up and felt so triumphant because FINALLY I'm being served a real heavy-hitter worthy of a critical listen that actually meets the key MUST HEAR criteria that is the reason for this list's existence. This is magnum opus stuff right here. This is the album that pushed Simon over the top creatively into musical genius and icon territory. I know he struggled with writer's block a lot throughout the recording, but he persevered and the end result is something truly spectacular. Voices of Old People is a track that can go suck an egg, and we're stuck with it to support the whole album concept, but otherwise, this is a flawless record from one of the greatest singer-songwriters to ever do the damn thing.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
A prog rock album with songs less than 5 minutes long? Such a thing does not exist... oh, there's the catch! It's a fucking live album of a prog band doing their take on some classical nonsense. I can't believe people paid for concert tickets to see this. Hate the music, but love the album artwork, that will spare it from a 1 star rating.
Carole King
5/5
Every track shines in its own special way. This album is Carole King’s whole soul laid bare. She tapped into a rich vein of creativity that spewed solid gold. One of the greatest albums ever written. Period.
Milton Nascimento
3/5
This was quite an epic journey! I'm not so much a fan of the foreign language albums or ones that are largely just instrumental, but I enjoyed this one today. It helped me get into a funky frenetic mode as I packed for my big road trip this weekend. Gracias!
ABBA
4/5
You got some big disco hits here! This album keeps the party going. It’s ABBA being ABBA as expected and I appreciate that. Dancing Queen alone is a 5 star song - but I’d still rather listen to a greatest hits compilation over their actual studio albums. I just want all the hits, that’s all I need from them.
Fred Neil
2/5
Ah, Fred Neil, I’ve never heard of you before, you poor bastard. But I sure have heard of Harry Nilsson. Maybe if you chose a less creepy album cover you coulda been someone worth knowing. Alas, this unenthusiastic 2 star review shall be your fate.
a-ha
3/5
Take On Me is one of my favourite 80s pop songs, lot of good memories belting that one out on the dance floor with my buddies. But the rest of this album does nothing for me... they call it a one hit wonder for a reason.
Jefferson Airplane
4/5
A carnival of delights from one of the best psychedelic rock bands to ever do the damn thing! Grace Slick is the extra special secret ingredient this band needed to become a taste explosion in everyone's mouths. Yeah, I'll stand by that weird analogy. Made sense to me when I was tripping on LSD and following Alice down the rabbit hole.
Wild Beasts
2/5
Fully unremarkable. It does nothing for me. I doubt I'll even remember it was even on my list in a few weeks time, it just has no resonance.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
It's a good time, Stevie is out here doing what he does best. He gives you heartfelt songs with a lot of intricate instrumentation and fun experimental fusion of many funky styles. But it's not my favourite of his albums. Boogie On Reggae Woman is a toe-tappin' fave for sure, it's the best track on the album. The album name is a bit stupid though, isn't it? It's clunky on the tongue. What is it even trying to say? It doesn't present to me a cohesive concept or set expectations as perfectly as Songs In the Key of Life of Innervisions do.
Arcade Fire
2/5
I never understood all the hype about this band. On one hand: they're Canadian so YAYY Canada! On the other: they're at the forefront of the musical shift towards more whiny/broody/quirky indie bands of the early aughts / 2010's that was so annoying. All these "sensitive" and "artistic" hipster personas these bands adopted just reeked of disingenuous posturing. And on my third and final hand: Win Butler is another low life sexual harassing piece of shit. I have such a hard time separating the art from the artist and you know what? I'm very okay with it. If I like you, I like you and if I don't you can go fuck yourself. It's my rating system, I decide. Final verdict: Arcade Fire is guilty of sucking in the first degree. Sentenced to this 2-star rating and 600 hours of community service.
Green Day
3/5
I’m not that into Green Day, their brand of punk always felt too suburban and tame. No real danger, it’s watered down for the mildly rebellious teen. But I can’t deny that this album is full of hits, it’s very easy to listen to, and it takes me back to a specific nostalgic point in my life. This album dropped when I started the 12th grade and it was HUGE at school. Everyone had it on rotation for the better part of that year. I started to really hate Wake Me Up When September Ends with all the airplay it got.
4/5
A previously unheard and undiscovered punk rock delight! I can hear their influence on so many of my favourite acts. A gift indeed.
Manu Chao
3/5
I'm very sick today. Barely upright. This music does nothing to speed my recovery. It's too bright, too happy, it hurts my brain. It's like a never-ending mariachi interlude from Breaking Bad that takes up the whole episode and makes you curse Vince Gilligan for his shenanigans. Grading on a curve today to balance out my harsh attitude, and points added for Bongo Bong. In the end it adds up to neutral.
Korn
1/5
I just... I mean... really? Okay, let me try and be fair here since Korn is the seminal band on my skiddy metalhead husband's youth. I'll admit nü-metal was a moment in time where something very different started happening musically. Someone was innovating, that's what must make this album worthy of our consideration. I don't think it was different or innovative for the better though. Woodstock '99 is a perfect example of how dangerous the energy that this music taps into can be. Inciting white male aggression never turns out well for anyone. I'm all for misfits and weirdoes finding the things that make them feel seen and understood. I'm all for a darker artistic expression of self, it can be powerful and cathartic to express your pain and vulnerability, like Kurt Cobain did. And it's important to have shared experiences and relate to others. Music helps us do that in such a transcendent way, especially controversial music. But I just don't like this. It's too hateful and frankly, scary.
Crowded House
4/5
I love this! Maybe it's the stark contrast between this and the heinous Korn album I had to suffer through yesterday, but oh my god, what a huge breath of fresh air this is! Thank you Bryan Christ for always looking out for me, you a real one dude. More likely it's just that Crowded House is a band that puts all the ingredients I like together and bakes up something truly delicious. They give me the quirky, tongue in cheek, oddball pop with a smoothness that I can't get enough of. Please let me have another piece of chocolate cake!
CHIC
3/5
I hear no discernible difference between this album by CHIC and the last album I had by CHIC (Risqué). Le Freak is a certifiable bop, obviously, but the rest is just overly repetitive generic disco filler. The first track, Chic Cheer was a complete waste of 4 minutes. It was very easy to get through, so that’s something.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
5/5
A bonafide masterpiece full of the peppy rock n' roll staples that set the foundation for everything else to come. It is an absolute pleasure the whole way through, great album from long ago.
Pink Floyd
2/5
Ugh. Sucks and I hate it. Props to a really cool and iconic album cover though. That saves it from a 1 star rating.
Erykah Badu
3/5
Soulful, sexy, cool. A bit too much internalized misogyny in some of the songs though.
Pulp
2/5
This is hardcore. Interesting choice of title for an album so completely whiny and dreary. I’m familiar with Different Class so I was expecting this to be much more edgy and in-your-face. Unless they were trying to do some kind of ironic juxtaposed thing with this album title/imagery and the music that I’m not getting, it just doesn’t add up. Disappointing and pointless.
Ella Fitzgerald
3/5
I had a very busy workday today, no time for 6 discs / 3.15 hours of listening. I only listened to 2.5 songs before I started up a day of onerous meetings and tasks. I could feel the old world classy vibes; Ella obviously has one of the most legendary and iconic voices ever recorded. The Gershwin songs vacillate between corny show tune earnestness and delightful unforgettable standards from a bygone era. It’s a perfect meeting of undeniable talent between singer and songwriters. But it’s too bloody long by a mile. I don’t know who could sit through an entire unbroken listen of these records. Not I, certainly not I.
2Pac
1/5
The most overhyped and over-esteemed artist of the 90's. He was unjustly martyred when he died and has become a false idol for morons to worship. Sorry, not sorry. His music sucks and I'm not into it and he sounds like he was an absolute garbage human to boot.
Radiohead
1/5
I already told you twice, I hate Radiohead. And this album certainly isn’t going to change that. Fuck off, wankers.
Buffalo Springfield
4/5
Killer opening track, sets the tone for a great listening experience end to end. It's a cool, fun, classic rock album.
Steely Dan
2/5
Meh. I know that’s sacrilege to the diehard Danimals, but I just don’t care. Peg is a bop, but the rest of it is pretty bland.
2/5
Subs, was it? I’m sorry, it’s not you. It’s me. I heard some of your beats, I listened to a groove or two, and I just know that I’m not the listener for you. You’ll find someone better, someone Serbian even, who can treat you right. I wish you well, but I’m moving on.
Neil Young
5/5
I felt a little bit annoyed this morning when I saw this as my album. I thought to myself "they already have Harvest on the list and that's the best Neil gets, why do we need more?" But then I started listening and I think I actually like On The Beach better than Harvest! It might be that I'm listening with a more mature ear, or the songs on Harvest have become a bit overplayed for me, but this has been a pleasant surprise. That Neil Young, he's a sly one. A talented songwriter, never to be underestimated or discredited for his impressive artistry. I was unfairly annoyed and I take it all back. This album deserves to be on the list, it's such a treasure. And I love this album artwork! It's fun, but weirdly maudlin too. It pairs perfectly with the songs you get on this one. Great Monday vibes, really enjoyable listening through and through, a perfect work of art.
I will say that Neil is probably still a bit too overrepresented on this list where Canada is concerned, we do have so many other great artists that deserve to be showcased too. But, that's UK ears for you, not as open as I'd like them to be...
Gary Numan
2/5
I know the song Cars, I've tolerated the song Cars, but it never made me want to listen to more songs like Cars.
Thoughts on the album cover: is this guy thinking about how he's gunna shove that triangle up his own ass?
Elvis Presley
4/5
You really only need one Elvis album on the list, and this ain't it. I don't mind listening to the King, but this album is quite repetitive and droopy. And it sounds way behind the times for an album from 1969. Would have been cool to see Elvis steer into hippie psychedelic rock in his later career instead of going all "old man yells at cloud" country crooner. Suspicious Minds is a long time favourite song though, so I’m grading generously for that.
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
1/5
Aggressively, unapologetically wild and incoherent. Good musicianship being bastardized so intentionally and for what? There are some good ideas and elements here, but they're all competing with each other so hard that the listening experience is painful and uncomfortable. All of the good drowned out, smothered, spit on, and stomped by piss poor execution.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Guy's got an amazing and iconic voice, no doubt. Tons of respect for his natural talent. I don't mind having this on in the background, but I am truly so bored by crooning. This album feels like one long unending ballad and that schtick got old by the third track. The lyrical content is just too old-fashioned and sappy. Imagine if Sinatra had been of a time where he could actually sing about shit that was personal and meaningful to him? Not just this heavily manufactured and trite gentleman lover Jell-O pudding.
Nine Inch Nails
5/5
Very few artists are capable of the tremendous courage and unabashed vulnerability it takes to bare their whole soul in all its most disturbing glory to the world through their art. So many of them try, but so few succeed in exposing themselves and their central existential struggles with the conviction and compulsion that Trent Reznor does. This album feels like it wasn’t just a cathartic exercise for him, but a soul saving necessity, a blood-letting, a desperate attempt to cure the incurable darkness within.
Almost 30 years later and it looks like he has slain those demons, or at least pacified them, and has made it on through to the other side. Good for him. I don’t particularly care to wallow in Reznor’s misery, he’s too dark and too disturbed for me to enjoy musically in a heaping dose. But I appreciate that this is a lifesaving work of art and I rate it as such.
Everything But The Girl
2/5
No word of a lie, this album sounded like one long continuous song. I literally could not distinguish one track from the next. Make a cohesive album, sure. But give it some goddamn variety for chrissake.
Spiritualized
1/5
Space rock? Fuck off. The only rock about space that I'll be listening to is Bowie's Space Oddity. This is a garbage album cover too. Where are the aliens? Where is the fun?
I know there's a lot of U2 hate out there in the world, but I don't hate these guys. They've made some killer songs that I've loved listening to in my life. This album was massive. Those first four songs are all great. Beautiful Day was the moment for a short while in the year 2000, you can't pretend it wasn't. And today was a day that I actually really needed to hear Stuck In A Moment. Didn't realize until it started in how much I missed that song and how helpful it is. If Joshua Tree is the high watermark of their career, then this album is a stellar second coming. I like it all the way through, honestly.
Slipknot
1/5
How many people does it take to be in a band this shitty? 9 apparently.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
A bona fide goddamn rock 'n' roll masterpiece! It's way nerdier than you'd think, but it's fucking glorious.
Imagine buying this album in 1971? You get it home, you put it on thinking "sweet, new Zep" and then they relentlessly assault you with so much motherfucking badassery for 42 minutes and 35 seconds you don't even think your brain can process one more shit hot guitar lick? What a time to be alive. Wish that's how I heard it for the first time.
David Bowie
5/5
Flawlessly conceptualized, written, and performed. Bowie's powers of oddball weirdness are growing, strengthening, blooming. He is transforming before our very eyes into the otherworldly being he was always meant to become. It's beautiful and exciting to see. He finally put all of the pieces together correctly and knows how to showcase the very best of himself to his audience. Fantastic record!
Dirty Projectors
2/5
It was fine. I didn’t listen seriously enough to formulate a strong opinion. And maybe in the end, that’s worst than even the harshest 1 star review.
Minutemen
2/5
A double punk album? Such a thing does not exist…. Oh, too bad it’s basic and generic. Meh. I wonder how much money these cats made off of Jackass using that one lick.
Beck
4/5
Quintessential mid-90's alternative rock. Nobody combines weirdo oddball hooks and avant-garde bizarre lyricism quite like Beck. A devil's haircut indeed!
Cornershop
3/5
I love Brimful of Asha, that song is a solid gold certified one-hit wonder bop for the ages, but I've never listened to anything else from this band. It's about what I expected. Sleep On The Left Side was a good track. The rest was a bit too much genre-bending fusion style for me. Not digging the heavily electronic portions of the music. But damn, that Brimful of Asha is a fun song. I love it more with every listen.
Shuggie Otis
3/5
It’s cool, Shuggie. You do your thing. And I’ll be moving on.
5/5
I love this! It's an essential work of burgeoning punk/new wave fusion. Uncontrollable Urge is a perfect opening track and that horribly jarring cover of Satisfaction is glorious in all its subversive cheekiness. Devo rules.
Taylor Swift
2/5
I don't get the obsession with her. I'm not just saying that to be musically snobby or contrarian... I just don't get it. She seems like such an annoying "pick me" kind of person in real life. I guess I can give her credit for actually putting the work into writing her own songs. That's fine. I just don't like the bratty entitled shit she comes out with. Ooo you're gunna write a diss track about Katy Perry because she stole your boyfriend that's actually a gross creepbag? You should be grateful she took that bullet for you, you fucking moron. And let's be honest, you would have dated him for like 6 minutes anyway and then moved on to the next poor schlub for songwriting fodder. The complete inability to relate to or care about an artist and their life makes it quite difficult to enjoy their music. Not for me.
Violent Femmes
5/5
I’m always in awe of how ahead of its time this album is. It was released in 1983 and it sounds like everything that was happening in 1993! It’s so beautifully rebellious, hitting the airwaves at the height of the 80s neon soaked synth pop excesses. This album is boldly, defiantly alternative and raw. It’s a stunning achievement in going against the grain and I love every note if it.
Mylo
1/5
Fucking DJs, my god, is there anything more vapid and talentless than a DJ trying to pass themselves off as an actual artist? Listening to this is an exercise in futility. I can’t and I won’t ever find enjoyment here.
The Killers
3/5
My god, the sonic chokehold this album had on my high school in 2004, let me tell you! Mr. Brightside in particular, there was something so gloriously melodramatic about that song that perfectly ensnared the overactive imagination of every angsty teen with an unrequited crush. I never got into it, but the singles are catchy and I somehow know all the words.
The only thing I couldn't buy into was Brandon Flowers's strange affected way of singing, like he's trying to pass himself off as British? What is that? Why does he sing that way?
Julian Cope
2/5
More UK crap I've never heard of getting a priority slot over stuff that's way better. *eyeroll*
Janet Jackson
3/5
Miss You Much and Love Will Never Do (Without You) are pop perfection. The rest of the album I could take or leave. Can't stand all of these annoying interludes, I don't like being preached at when I'm just trying to listen to some music. It's just really bloated too, this could have been trimmed down to half the tracks. Keep the pop hits and ditch the highfalutin bullshit.
I love Janet, respect to her for insisting on making the kind of music she wants, this just isn't her best album. Iconic moment in time for her? Absolutely. Did it age well? No, not really.
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
Middle of the road rock. It’s fine. Clapton is such a dick though. I hate giving him credit for anything.
Hugh Masekela
4/5
Quite lovely. I don’t have much stamina for double albums, but I really enjoyed every note of this one. Paired nicely with the rainy weather today, bopped along while cooking dinner and it set us all in a nice relaxed mood.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2/5
It’s very of it’s time. “Edgy” hipster rock that thinks it’s more powerful and meaningful than it actually is. A short-lived fad.
Gorillaz
2/5
I only ever knew the song Clint Eastwood. It’s a one-hit wonder I’ll jam to, but I never sought this kind of music out. It’s not for me. If we’re talking bands represented by cartoon avatars then it’s Prozzäk or bust, baby! (If you don’t know them and you’re not Canadian, look them up!)
Miles Davis
3/5
I’m no jazz scholar, but I know that Miles is one of the all-time best in the biz. I listened to this album at 5am while having a listless soak in the tub. Seemed fitting. The tracks are two very different sides of the same coin. Harmonious in the way they complement each other, but distinctly separate by the starkly contrasting moods each invokes while listening. I preferred the first more triumphant track to the dour second one, but overall good listening experience as a whole.
Sex Pistols
3/5
I love 70s punk, but I’ve always preferred The Clash and The Ramones. The Sex Pistols just never seemed musically inclined or mature enough to make it worth my while. They’re a band out for the opportunity to shock and offend so their music lacks the substance my ears need. Their notoriety greatly exceeds their “talent”. Just a hot mess dumpster fire of infantile white boy rage. There are valid gripes here, obvious discontentment with the monarchy, I'll give them that. They certainly do embody the spirit of punk. But annoying asshole punks, not cool punks that I can look up to.
Joy Division
3/5
I've never been the biggest Joy Division fan, I actually prefer New Order. But they did some remarkable things to pioneer a post-punk scene of melancholic and brooding alternative rock, opening the doors for other amazing acts like The Cure and The Smiths. Ian Curtis considered this album the band's creative pinnacle before sadly taking his own life so we'll never know if that was true. This is a very atmospheric album, I feel like I'm on a walking tour of Curtis's depression. There's some truly beautiful poetry in the lyrics, The Eternal is particularly haunting. This isn't casual listening, it's for catharsis or wallowing, what you get depends on the condition of your soul on any given listen.
Röyksopp
1/5
Looks like a phoney album cover for a CD you’d see on a Hemnes in the IKEA showroom. And I thought all the French electronica was bad. Do not want.
Iron Maiden
4/5
Holy shit! Invaders is the most incredible high octane hard rock album opener I think I've ever heard! This is the way to start a Friday, I'm fucking awake now. My day could use some devil worship, and black magic fuckery, right on. Bruce was a really key addition to the lineup.
The Charlatans
3/5
Generic “no name” brand Oasis. Was okay, didn’t rock my tits off.
Beatles
4/5
A frenetic and dizzying musical tug-o-war between all four Beatles. I enjoyed it, but there was a major lack of cohesion. Lyrically, thematically, musically, it just pushes and pulls every which way. The tension between Paul and John is palpable! Bless George Harrison for being able to get While My Guitar Gently Weeps included. And Paul for writing Blackbird. I know this album is touted as the high watermark of the Beatles career, but it’s just too jarring a listening experience for me. Still a good time, just one that yanks your chain a bit.
Jeff Buckley
5/5
Oh wonderful! An all-time favourite album of mine. A phenomenal debut album, Jeff Buckley was a man of staggering musical talent. I remember playing this album for my husband a few years back and he was so impressed by the guitar. He said all of these riffs could so easily be metal or hard rock riffs but they're played with such clean precision instead. I adore the feeling of heart-wrenching ache this album evokes every time I listen. It's emotional, yearning, deeply vulnerable, and oh so sexy all at once. Lover, You Should’ve Come Over is my favourite track. It's rife with drama and unrequited love in the juiciest way. The vocals are impressive, every track you get something nuanced in the cadence of his singing and inflection. Such a tragic loss when he died. He was an irreplaceable talent, a wonderfully emotional and complex artist, and I wish we'd all been able to see what else he would have done. This was only the beginning of what would have been a truly remarkable career. Top marks.
Nas
1/5
A middling hip hop album that fails to impress or chart in a meaningful way is something I need to hear? I think not.
Bebel Gilberto
2/5
It’s fine. I’m not into it at all, but it’s fine.
Taylor Swift
1/5
The wiki entry for this one sure is a bunch of puffed up bullshit, ain’t it? I don’t care what sort of “creative chemistry” or “impressionist storytelling” Taylor Swift thinks she’s come up with; I don’t like listening to her pop garbage. This is a staggering achievement in mediocrity, maybe that’s why it made the list.
The Sonics
2/5
Lot of hits covered on this album. It’s fun, but makes me wonder where the artistry and originality is.
Richard Thompson
2/5
Great, more UK trash that never made the slightest impact on the rest of the world. Rolling my eyes so hard I’m likely to strain every optic muscle and nerve I’ve got. There are actually successful acts from other countries that aren’t getting their due recognition and it’s pissing me off. This album was so bland and mediocre, nothing stuck.
The Prodigy
1/5
The best thing about this album was laughing at it with my husband while we cooked brunch and felt so far removed from the target audience for this “music”.
R.E.M.
5/5
What an absolute treat 80's R.E.M. is! Yes yes yes yes yes!! They are at the peak of their alt rock niche here, doing some of their very best work. Their fundamentally unique R.E.M. sound thrums through every note of every song so joyfully. I love all the tracks, can't pick a favourite. It's a perfect R.E.M. album. If you wanted to know who this band really is, all radio hits aside, this is the album to get deep into. It's just so bloody goddamn GOOD. Endlessly listenable because of that peppy playful instrumentation layered within the subtly moody and contemplative lyrics. There's just as much to enjoy when listening from the shallow end of the pool as there is when plumbing the depths. That's the best thing about R.E.M. - you can listen and find something interesting to consider or toy with on every level.
MC Solaar
2/5
French rap? No. Not for me. But I will say this album cover is dynamite! What an incredible photograph, it's very compelling.
Willie Nelson
3/5
It’s a tightly wrapped 33 minutes of twang. Willie is a prolific and admirable artist, but I’m not a country music lover. Or even liker. But I gotta give respect to one of the country scene’s most iconic players.
Can
2/5
Is the album generator sentient? I find it quite remarkable that I've been assigned some German experimental rock the very day I picked up and brought home my brand new Volkswagen Tiguan. There's something fishy afoot... Even though I hate this album, I'm marking my rating up for the serendipity of it all.
Elton John
4/5
Wow, this album starts strong with Tiny Dancer and Levon! I've never heard any of the other songs before, but they all have that distinctively catchy Elton flair. I had a fun time with this one today. Even though Elton will always be a greatest hits kind of artist for me, I enjoyed my time going a bit deeper into his catalogue.
5/5
The crown jewel of David Bowie’s catalogue. The pinnacle of his personal/professional development. The harbinger of his transformation into rock alien superstar who transcends all space and time. It is a flawless obvious five star album. Top notch listening end to end and packaged with a phenomenal album cover too!
Janelle Monáe
2/5
I know she’s got a cult following and all, but it’s not for me. I heard the hits and they were fine, but I’m not flipping for them. Meh.
Metallica
4/5
Okay Monday morning, let's rock the fuck out then!! \m/
The title track is the gold standard template for high octane metal. It's that premium shit. The rest of the album keeps up the psychotic pace, there's not a dull moment here. Lyrically, it's so much more intense and interesting than the garden variety "hail satan, we think we're badasses" stuff you heard from a lot of other metal acts at the time. It paved the way for a bold new era of metal. The album art is very compelling too, it meshes seamlessly with the album content in such a satisfying way. Black album is the magnum opus though.
Miles Davis
4/5
Peppy and fun, but rich with intricate complexity, and also succinct! I suppose for Mr. Davis brevity is the soul of cool? I appreciate that.
Dr. Octagon
1/5
“a homicidal, extraterrestrial, time-traveling gynaecologist and surgeon” you say? That is the epitome of immature 90s bullshit right there. This is crap, don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. Absolute crap. This is the lowest 1 star of all the 1 stars I've rated so far. Toxic garbage that should be burned from our collective pop culture memory.
Jane's Addiction
3/5
Never really been a big Jane's Addiction fan. Been Caught Stealing is a bop, but it's hit or miss for me when I hear it. Sometimes I skip the track and sometimes I let it play through. Ritual of the Usual indeed.
Ferrell has a very unique vocal style, it works well for a niche alt rock band. Navarro's guitar is incredibly proficient here, but I've never liked overindulgent tracks that go on too long. It was alright. Let's stick with that. I feel neutral about this band and their music.
The Black Keys
4/5
Black Keys give you solidly enjoyable rock every time. They’ve got a very distinct and catchy signature sound, takes me right back to my post-uni restless summer days every time. I might like El Camino better, but this one slaps too. Have seen them live and they put on a hell of a show.
The Flaming Lips
2/5
Meh. This band has got loads of alt rock cachet, but I don’t get it. Few good singles in the catalogue, but overall too highbrow artsy fartsy conceptual bullshit for me.
Madness
4/5
What, Spotify doesn’t have this album?!? Very annoying. But the good thing is I’m already quite familiar with Madness. They bring consistently fun and dynamic 80s ska to the table and you have a good time listening. Lots of danceable grooves, so they made brunch fun this morning. Our House is an all-time classic fave. Love these guys!
Beatles
5/5
This to me, is the most Beatles album of the Beatles ever Beatle-ing. They've still got tremendous Lennon overlordship at this point, but there's still somehow a nice balance in the tracks. They're starting to morph into counterculture icons and they're transitioning into that phase in such a harmonious way for the listeners. Top notch, excellent work. Their output is prolific for the number of years that they were active and this is the perfect midpoint of it all. Drive My Car is a superb opening track, it’s so fun and gets you primed for some good tunes.
Fleetwood Mac
2/5
I hate to say this about Fleetwood Mac today, but meh. Rumours is one of the all-time greatest BEST albums ever, a must have for vinyl collectors, and I look forward to having it come up some day during this project. Tusk, unfortunately, is not even a pale shadow of its greatness. This is just sleepy. It's too slow, too meandering, it doesn't give me life. There are beautiful compositions and vocals, no doubt. But this album lacks the vibrancy and enthusiasm of Rumours. You know what it is? Too much McVie and Buckingham, not enough Stevie. There, I said it! Stevie is the best thing about Fleetwood Mac, the songs she's lead vocals on slap harder than any others and we don't get enough of it on Tusk. I can listen, but I find no joy.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
I mean, c'mon! This is one of the easiest 5 star ratings I'll ever give!
It's so fucking good it makes me want to throw my life away and drive around smoking doobies, jamming to it everywhere my shitbox car will take me. The hallmark of a truly magnificent album: its gravitational pull is so powerful you lose all reason. It's an absolute masterpiece. A magnum opus. At the very least there was some witchcraft or a deal with the devil to make an album this fucking phenomenal. Outstanding!
Fats Domino
4/5
Sing it, Fats!
I like it. You get a fun, swinging good time. Fun, happy-go-lucky songs about love and life that don't take themselves too seriously. Even the "boo hoo, my woman is giving me troubles" kind of songs are somehow upbeat or triumphant instead of sad. He just seems like he was a fun dude in general and that comes through in his vocals.
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Nice, some Stones on a Friday, I am into that!
Gimme Shelter is for sure one of the best opening tracks of all time. It's hauntingly good, with its iconic and instantly recognizable opening notes. I had no idea Country Honk was actually Honky Tonk Women, that just blew my nose and then my mind. Live With Me is shockingly sarcastic and sneering, but I like it. Could very easily have been a punk song if written a decade later. This album is just full of little treats and surprises, and then it ends with a massive hit, another recognizable banger that's been used to soundtrack countless movies and TV shows.
Let It Bleed is an unassuming sandwich that upon first bite you discover has actually been made of delicious high-quality luncheon meats sandwiched between two thick slices of the finest bread known to man.
Kick-ass album cover too, just fantastic, should be hung up in the Louvre.
TLC
3/5
I’m supposed to say that this album is Crazy, Sexy, and Cool right? That’s the low hanging fruit review to give. Waterfalls is an undeniable pop cultural phenomenon that I will always remember from my 90s youth. I’m not much of a fan otherwise though. Talented women, love their style, but I’m not interested in a full album. Respect for the great hits on here though.
T. Rex
3/5
Only really knew Get It On because of hearing it on classic rock radio in my dad’s car. The rest of the album is exactly as I expected, middle of the road, simple 70s rock. I do love this album cover, it’s minimalist but exciting in the best way. Good listening overall, I vibe with it.
Sarah Vaughan
3/5
Pleasantly pleasant. It didn’t imprint on my heart, but I enjoyed my time with it. Excellent album cover!
Pentangle
2/5
I thought this was going to be some subversive satanic rock or some bible-thumping chamber music based on the cover. I'm glad it's just some harmless 60s folk music. The name of the band and the album cover evoke thoughts and judgements that do not align with the actual music at all, it had me worried for a moment there. It’s harmless but boring.
Joan Baez
3/5
She is a folk music icon with the purest and most true voice. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I find it grating at times and just a bit too repetitive. I have tremendous respect for the hard work she put in paving a pathway forward for other women, but this falls a lot shy of perfect for me.
Van Morrison
4/5
I have a deep-rooted love of Van Morrison. His raspy whiskey soaked vocals take me to a special and joyful place. He has a prolific catalogue of poetic songs and emotionally stirring instrumentation. I just love listening to him. Moondance is a vastly superior album, but I like this one a lot too. It’s a shame his brilliance is currently being channeled into seriously problematic new music. I’m not going there though, I’m just gunna kick it with 60s and 70s Van, the sweet and soulful artist I admire.
Eels
3/5
I’ve heard Novocaine For the Soul many times, and it’s a song I’ve skipped or changed the station on many times too. It’s one of those songs that I don’t hate so sometimes I let it play through or I feel annoyed by it because I don’t particularly like it. The rest of the album felt the same. I got through it, it was fine, but it was also just kind of bland. Basic 90s stuff.
Brian Eno
2/5
Damn, there is so much Eno on this list. He is a multifaceted and prolific artist, there’s no denying that. I hate to say it but I’m just not big on his solo stuff. Roxy Music is cool, and I love his work producing for the Smiths and Morrissey. Warm jets? More like tepid jets at best.
OutKast
2/5
Oh my god, over two hours?!?! I don’t have the stamina for this, it’s Christmas Day for Christ’s sake. Obviously Hey Ya! and I Like The Way You Move are excellent fun time party songs. The rest, meh.
Billy Joel
5/5
Almost halfway through and I finally get some Billy Fucking Joel! Christmas came late, but better late than never. Billy is a 5 star man, no contest. And this album in particular is a tour de force, showcasing all of his talents brilliantly. The singing, the songwriting, the musicianship, the creativity and storytelling. He is in his prime here and absolutely unparalleled at composing compelling pop/rock songs of epic sing-a-long quality. He’s a god and I worship at his altar. I ride or die with Billy.
k.d. lang
2/5
I wish I liked this. She has a beautiful voice, she’s Canadian, and she’s always been proudly and defiantly her own unique self, a queer woman in music at a time when it wasn’t accepted or embraced. The ridicule I’ve heard about her all my life just because she didn’t conform physically to the rigid gender norms for female chart-topping artists in the 80s and 90s always made my blood boil. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been for her to forge such a successful career while unwavering in her individuality and values. I love so much about k.d. lang and truly appreciate what all of her successes represent for other marginalized artists, I just don’t like the country-western twang of it all. Maybe it’s subversive that she sings such a misogynistic and closed-minded genre, and if so, right on sister! But otherwise, I’m not into it. Respectfully not for me.
Einstürzende Neubauten
1/5
No. No no no. Horrifying messy unlistenable garbage. Definitely not something anyone needs to hear, ever.
The Stooges
5/5
Fucking incredible! Raw, dark, twisted, emotive, but also vulnerable and aching at times too. This is the absolute best of The Stooges. Unforgettable, groundbreaking punk rock for the ages.
The Cure
2/5
I had a greatest hits CD of The Cure when I was in high school that I loved. There were so many hits! And they were the greatest. But I always skipped the song Lullaby. It felt too creepy. It didn’t have the fun, peppy overtones in its instrumentation that made the darker, more goth and emo aspects of The Cure palatable. This whole album is like a never-ending listen of Lullaby. It’s too goth and industrial for me. I don’t want to go down this creepy spider hole with them. I’ll stick the hits that keep a lighter vibe going, you know, Just Like Heaven and Friday I’m In Love, thanks.
Nina Simone
4/5
Ms. Nina sure can wail.
Germs
2/5
Just because someone did it first doesn’t mean they did it right. I like punk, but not so much the hardcore variety on this album. It’s cool they broke new ground, but I don’t think it’s aged all that well.
Teenage Fanclub
2/5
This album artwork comes to you courtesy of a straight up MS Paint nightmare. Jesus Christ. Unfortunately the music isn’t much better than this abysmal cover. But it’s just okay enough to save it from 1 star.
Little Simz
4/5
I was disappointed when I saw this pop up because I'm just not generally a fan of rap, R&B, or hip-hop. But I gave it a listen trying to be open-minded and the beats were catchy. Then I heard this line "Unapologetically I be bossin' it, getting better with age" and it resonated with me. A great thing to hear on my first day back at work since the holiday break, with huge transitions on my professional horizon, and it just felt like the exact right thing to hear. That's what makes music great for me, when the content strikes a chord personally and emotionally regardless of genre, artist, or time. This album while not my genre of choice, is soaked in authenticity and genuine artistic expression; that is something I can get behind. Props to this queen for using her music to speak her truth and share her soul with the world.
FKA twigs
1/5
There was an attempt to be an "artist", I'll say that. I just found the high-pitched, soft and breathy vocals were too much of a try-hard. Felt like a very poor attempt at emulating Björk's vocal and musical style. Not good.
Khaled
2/5
An hour and eighteen minutes? I don't even want to listen to english language popular rock records for that long! Please, keep it to a tight 45 people. Who even has time for continuous listening longer than that?
I mean, it's just not for me. I don't speak the language, and I'm a lyrics first listener. There's nothing here for me. The music is peppy though, I'll give it that. And dude got himself a dope album cover.
Lorde
4/5
Lorde's been cool in my books from the moment I heard Royals for the first time. She's got substance and depth, and she's an interesting artist who just so happens to express herself through the kind of top 40 pop music I usually avoid. I like this album too. It's dramatic and intense, but also cavalier and intrepid in such a fun way. I like.
Donovan
3/5
I love the two singles on this album, Sunshine Superman and Season of the Witch. I’ve put both of them on multiple playlists over the years. They are solid 60s tunes that I always enjoy hearing. The rest though, I’m sad to say was just bland filler. But it’s still listenable and pleasant enough.
Sugar
1/5
Completely and utterly forgettable. It did not register once on my interest meter.
OutKast
2/5
A few hits that hit, like So Fresh, So Clean and Ms. Jackson. But overall, it is an unfortunate victim of its time - too many immature interludes and skits that are annoying to sit through.
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
An intoxicating journey of funky good time tunes. Top notch musicianship and artistry on display here. Curtis Mayfield has an unforgettable voice, his soft and honey sweet delivery is always so soothing to my ears. And all of it is delivered in a tight 36 minutes! You get a hell of a lot of bang for your buck here, it's the perfect party record to throw on and get people grooving.
Massive Attack
2/5
Not as bad as I thought it would be, but not exactly good either. Just not for me.
Joy Division
3/5
The darkness that Curtis expresses in his lyrics and vocal performance of said lyrics is underscored perfectly by the gothic/industrial instrumentation. It's hard to explain exactly how I like this and don't like it all at the same time. I appreciate the artistry and the raw expression, I dig the music. But I just don't want to spend a lot of time with such a depressing act. I don't want to get sucked into Curtis's melancholic and despairing vortex. I do respect it though.
The Specials
5/5
A hot summer day in August. Cruising the local record shop, looking for a birthday gift for my friend, something special. Then something very Special catches my eye, The Specials by The Specials. You never see this one in the crates! A rare find. A great find. My search is over almost as quickly as it begins. The cashier ringing me up says "I just got this and stickered it less than 2 hours ago, knew it was gunna be snapped up today". Lucky me! Lucky my friend! She was thrilled. I'm still thrilled every time I hear this album.
Elbow
1/5
Seldomly seen because it’s crap.
Beastie Boys
5/5
Hell yeah! The way the Beastie Boys transformed themselves into a more artistic and thoughtful act while retaining their playful adolescent charm is impressive. This album is a true labour of love, friendship, and growth. And even though it’s comprised entirely of samples, it’s somehow a stunningly original and charismatic listen. A true gem, proving the Beastie were so much more than an immature fart joke.
Santana
4/5
Untouchable guitar skills, no doubt. A few songs on here have been in heavy classic rock rotation my whole life, so I can slip back into them like a pair of well worn shoes. And I'm not surprised that the deeper cuts I've never heard are just as good. I appreciate the way Santana showcases his skills and proficiency without ever showboating them. I'm a lyrics first listener so albums that are focused on instrumentation are usually not my jam, but this made for a groovy morning. And let's not forget to mention that this album cover is an amusement park for the eyes! Damn, that's cool.
Little Richard
5/5
These songs are all older than dirt now, but they still slap. I feel ill equipped trying to describe the songs and music that are the very bedrock of rock n roll. Little Richard brought raucous, bawdy, and unbridled enthusiasm to all of his performances in a way no one else ever had. An artist of tremendous spirit and a true freak flag flying motherfucker, he paved the way for everything, absolutely everything, that we all listen to and love today. I salute a maverick, a legend, an icon, and a phenomenally talented artist with my paltry five star rating.
The Isley Brothers
4/5
This album is an undeniably funky good time. And it's concise! Unlike so many 70's funk/soul/disco/dance records that go in for self-indulgent musical showboating and overwrought production. I really like this, it's a fantastic party record.
Leonard Cohen
5/5
Hauntingly beautiful poetry and understated instrumentation combine to produce a deeply emotional and poignant album. Every song is a piece of Cohen's soul triple distilled, served to your ears in its most refined and perfect state for your hearing pleasure.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Right fucking on, man! I'm not even going to try to critically review this one, it's 5 stars, firm. No ifs ands or buts. Anyone rating lower than 5 is an abject moron. My ham-fisted attempt at a review for one of the singularly greatest rock and roll albums of all time would just be a gushing overzealous tome rotten with hyperbolic awe. I fucking love this one end to end, and will 'til the end of time. That will suffice.
Run-D.M.C.
5/5
These two guys, they’re street prophets for real. This album rips, it’s excellent all around. Hard Times is shockingly more relevant now than it possibly was back then, and it floored me with its prescience. And obviously It’s Like That is the anthemic hit that just won’t quit, I’ll never tire of it. This is a flawless debut, it is bursting at the seams with charisma, innovation, and originality and it’s FUN! Such a good album, love it.
Barry Adamson
2/5
Well, that happened. Can’t fault a guy for having an idea, but I can fault him for his idea being terminally boring. Oh and let me just obnoxiously attach my name to one of the most famous musicals of all time because I’m a parasitic creature with no actual originality of my own. Just very very boring.
Grizzly Bear
3/5
Yeah, I can get into this, even though it is very formulaic late aughts indie which I don't normally go for. They remind me of a band I really like, Guster, who I wish were on the list because they're quite special. I didn't think I'd know any of this one, but Two Weeks I've definitely heard. That song got its moment in the sun, that's for sure. Overall it is inoffensive, innocuous, fine.
Travis
2/5
Boring. It bores me in the morning. It bores me in the afternoon. It bores me at suppertime. But it’s inoffensive.
Jeff Beck
2/5
Pretty obnoxious to name yourself as the sole artist on an album that you don't even write or sing lead vocals on for every track. It should have been given a proper band name instead of marquee credit for someone who was merely one of many that collaborated to make this album happen.
My gripes about who the album is credited to aside, this is okay. I always enjoy Rod's vocals, he makes the album listenable for me. And the music is generic 60's rock n roll which my ears always like. But nothing jumps out at me as a life changing track that reaches my soul. Final verdict: I'd probably be more generous if this album was credited to the right people.
Talking Heads
5/5
Excellent through and through. I’ll never rate Talking Heads anything less than 5 stars, I just fucking love them and David Byrne so much. It’s the music that speaks to my soul, that resonates deeply with my own being in such a spectacular way that I can’t rate this critically, only effusively and passionately. I’ll love Talking Heads until the day I die.
The Byrds
2/5
The first track was good, got me excited for a cheery 60's pop/rock album, but then it devolved into so much psychedelic experimental bullshit that I just got sick of it. That one track with the weird voices speaking what sounded like a made up chipmunk language... WTF was that?!? The Byrds needed to just stick with sweet, wistful pop/rock jams and be cool.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Springsteen’s ass wowed us all. Are you a soulful and contemplative singer songwriter of the people whose struggling to find the recognition and wide public appeal you seek? Put your ass in some jeans and stick it on your next album cover! Instant success! Seriously though, this album is an unstoppable juggernaut of Springsteen hits. It may not be what The Boss feels most proud of in terms of showcasing his songwriting talents, but damn if it doesn’t slap the whole way through. Dancing in the Dark will always be an upbeat but aching favourite of mine for all time. That song alone merits a 5 star rating, but again, the whole album fucking rocks. Quality stuff, this is the high watermark of 80s rock n roll.
Orange Juice
5/5
Ooo I like this a lot! Never heard of Orange Juice before but the immediate similarity to Talking Heads has piqued my interest. It’s just got a cool and groovy vibe all its own and I’m obsessed. I love this album cover too! They look like a hip crew and I’d love to see them live in their heyday. Quality new discovery!
Red Hot Chili Peppers
5/5
Well I'm saillllllllin'! Thank you generator for cuttin' me my share this morning, Fuck Yeah!
I am so excited about this album today. I unabashedly love RHCP and I don't even care that this album is way too long. It's got that early 90's Rick Rubin treatment and the sweet Frusciante sound these guys needed to elevate their schtick. The singles from this album alone make it a 5 star rating: monster songs, all-time favourite material, the sounds of my misspent youth that make me feel alive. I mean, the chokehold Give It Away and Suck My Kiss still have on me is unbelievable! And the beautifully moving and humanizing Under The Bridge gives listeners a sincere look at the damaged and tortured soul of Anthony Kiedis. Okay, Sir Psycho Sexy is unbearably cringey and immature, but you have to understand that all that lascivious overflowing sexuality is part of the damage and it needs an outlet too.
I just love them and I love what they're about: free range unfiltered expressions of self. Some people are brave and bold enough to let it all hang out, I'm not. But through the lens of RHCP I feel like I could be. They always give you a funky good time, and yeah, brevity has never been their forte, but you just have to sit back and enjoy the crazy blood sugar sex magik motherfucking ride to appreciate what it's really all about. In reality, my head knows this is a 3 star album, but my dick is telling me it's 5.
The Pogues
3/5
This is jaunty, cheeky, rowdy music for St. Patty's Day down at the pub. It's fun and the instrumentation is beautifully down home, but it's not every day listening. Serve with niche drunken holiday and festive times only.
Throwing Muses
4/5
I like this! Exactly the kind of niche badass alt rock I enjoy. And the band is fronted by a unique and bewitching woman? Amazing! I am loving the vocals, the lyrical content and style, and the production that creates the right mix of raw yet popish musicality. It honestly feels like it paved the way or in some part even inspired Hole's Live Through This.
Sucks that I can't listen to it on Spotify, because that's where I do all of my listening, but at least there's a lot more Throwing Muses music there that I can explore. And I will be exploring this band more, no doubt about it. Hidden gem, good find!
Heaven 17
1/5
So you're telling me it didn't chart successfully, and it didn't wow critics successfully either. Then why the fuck would this ever be on the list? As an example of complete and utter underwhelming mediocrity? A what not to do? Ain't nobody got time for that. It's shit. And I don't need to listen to shit for shit's sake.
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
It’s a peppy little album. The best track though is obviously Come On Eileen, even though I’ve heard it thousands of times. But damned if that isn’t one of the best one-hit wonders of all time.
MGMT
3/5
I turned 20 years old in 2007. I can think of no track that better epitomizes the privileged existential crisis of burgeoning adulthood than Time to Pretend. MGMT put into song the way all of us were feeling about our unknown futures and the futility of resisting it. And they also made it into a fucking bop! It’s a once in a generation song that resonates deeply with a very specific mindset at a very specific time of life that I was lucky enough to perfectly connect with when it happened. The singles on this album dazzle, they soar. But everything else is uninspired drudgery.
Ride
2/5
But I don’t wanna have a shoegaze brunch :(
Ray Charles
4/5
Ray breathed so much life and soul into these country ditties. He’s got the magic touch.
Everything But The Girl
2/5
The music is too mellow for me, tonally and sonically it doesn't give the listener much variation throughout. The vocals are beautiful and calming to listen to, but overall it just doesn't excite me. And the moments it veers hard into the electronic sound are what ultimately push me away. Not for me.
Abdullah Ibrahim
3/5
The title and artwork are doing this album no favours. I was disappointed when I saw it come up, wondering what kind of crap was going to assault my ears. But it was not crap, it was pleasant. Not my preferred genre, and I won’t listen again, but it was way better than expected!
Afrika Bambaataa
5/5
The album name and cover had me real worried, not gunna lie. I had a HUGE gut reaction assumption that this record was going to be a major pile of crap. But it's actually FUCKING AMAZING!! I love it. Socially conscious, inspired, unabashedly oddball and cool at the same time; all the elements I like blended up into one funky non-stop party groove. And Renegades of Funk... omg that has been one of my favourite RATM songs for decades!! I love hearing the original track, it's so good too!
I'm so happy my extremely unfair bias has been proven resoundingly wrong this morning. Zulu nation!!!
Pink Floyd
1/5
Fuck off Pink Floyd. Wankers.
Genesis
2/5
It’s very boring. None of these songs grabbed my attention. I just prefer the sellout pop rock version of Genesis to the highly conceptual prog rock one. Give me Invisible Touch and I Can’t Dance over this carpet crawlers bullshit any day.
The Waterboys
2/5
These waterboys could use a little something else in their cups. The music is duller than dull, it’s completely uninspired pub-swilling music. I’m bored.
John Martyn
1/5
Seems I've tapped into an especially rich vein of middling sonic crap given the past few days of records. Who will break this cursed streak of unremarkable junk? This mush-mouth mumbling motherfucker just isn't doing it for me.
The Slits
4/5
Here we have some badass bitches out in the wild, harnessing the combined powers of punk rock and unapologetic raw sexuality to flip misogynists everywhere the bird. We control our bodies, we control our messages, and you can fuck right off if you think you're entitled to a say in any of it! I love the boldness of it, I love the sounds of it. I love all of it.
The Blue Nile
1/5
The instrumentation on the title/opening track is quite jarring, it jangled my nerves, and not in a good way. It didn't get any better from there, unfortunately. There was something unsettling and disconcerting throughout the entire listening experience, something about this combination of music, lyrics, and content that irritated and grated on me. It honestly felt like it might be better suited as background music in a movie rather than focused, intent listening. There just seemed to be too much missing context for this dreary lovelorn sad sack music.
Sonic Youth
4/5
I dig it. It’s not my favourite SY album, but it’s good. Remarkable how innovative they were at this time, how much space they created for other alternative acts and basically paved the way for everything raw, distorted and grungey that I love. OGs of don’t give a fuck coolness.
The Temptations
4/5
This is the second album I’ve had this week with "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" on it, something is in the water. Also, loving a Temptations album that doesn't have "My Girl" on it, my god that song is SO played out! Very enjoyable listen, loved grooving to it. Only downside is the 9 minute track, it just kept rambling on and didn’t fit in with the concision and brevity of the other tracks.
The Flying Burrito Brothers
3/5
I wish I had a bit more time to listen seriously today so I could better appreciate all the nuanced uniqueness of this album. The snatches I was able to enjoy were quite interesting. Seemed like there was some good cheeky storytelling paired with real solid hurdy durdy twang. I’m going to circle back to this one when I can listen without distraction.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
One petty upfront gripe before listening: I really hate it when albums have multiple or dual names. It's just so pretentious and obnoxious. You really couldn't figure out ONE name for your fucking album?? C'mon!
Now that I’m actually listening, here’s my legit gripe: an hour and 22 minutes?!? That’s too long! Damn. It’s too much. I enjoy the brooding intensity of some songs, but had it been kept to a tight and focused 45 minute album tops, I would have been able to enjoy it more. It was such a slog. And there’s a serious lack of variety here, there’s long stretches of monotonous droning that are hard to endure.
My husband mentioned that the vocals have a later years Eddie Vedder tone to them, which I liked. I think I could get into Nick Cave, but not this album.
Sigur Rós
1/5
No. I already know this is a steaming pile of crap that I don't want to step in again.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!
A masterclass in righteous outrage, with thought-provoking and paradigm shifting lyricism that shocked a young generation awake and into action.
We can never stop fighting to take the power back \m/
Aretha Franklin
4/5
We all know Aretha can fucking wail, that’s a given. And you gotta give respect to “Respect”, because it is a powerful track we all know and love, but it’s fucking fun too! This was a great listening experience overall.
Nico
2/5
I like Nico's heavy, monotonous voice and the folk/art rock ambience this album creates. But I'm big into the Velvet Underground, so this is an easy sell for me. Sounds like she was a piece of shit person though; racist and a deadbeat mom. That I have a much harder time getting behind.
Traffic
3/5
You know what? This bullshit prog rock crap is actually off to a decent start. Opening track is getting my juices flowing. Okay, now we got some vocals with cryptic lyrics hinting at some kind of Grapes of Wrath like epic struggle. And here comes the JAZZ FLUTE. Now we're into some sort of love song? Or maybe it's an ode to anti-depressants and writer's block? Trying to interpret the meaning and message of these tracks is quite vexing. I'm not sure what I'm supporting in liking this, but the music is catchy.
Randy Newman
2/5
I know too many “good old boys” who are anything but good. This music does nothing for me and the whole middle America humble charm schtick is too hokey for me to enjoy. The guy has songwriting talent, but his voice is grating. There’s nothing to latch onto. I hate the creepy blurry photo on the cover too. It repels my interest on every level.
Cocteau Twins
1/5
I didn't realize that Treasure was a synonym for steaming pile of 80's dogshit.
Deerhunter
1/5
Someone please pull me out of this dream pop hole in the ground that I've been shoved into. I didn't like Cocteau Twins bullshit dream pop from the 80's yesterday, and I don't like it any better flashing forward 30 years into the '10's today. The album cover tells me absolutely nothing about the band, I hate that, and it's not even a good photo, it doesn't mesh with the actual album content in any way. Annoying. Pretentious tripe.
Adele
5/5
Powerhouse! The songwriting, the singing, the deeply vulnerable and raw expression of self, it's all here. Adele is the whole package. I'm not even a fan, but I can respect and appreciate the true artistry on display here. And at such a young age! She's just so damn impressive.
Talking Heads
5/5
I've mentioned this before, but Talking Heads will always get a 5 star rating from me. David Byrne is a beautiful genius, a remarkably talented and rare shiny gem among musicians, and everything he touches turns to gold. I love this album end-to-end, it is flawless. It's rock 'n' roll, but also art pop and new wave proto-everything cool in all the best ways. I fucking love it.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5/5
As I've gotten older I've come to really love Neil Young and appreciate his talent. He writes beautiful songs. And when he sings in a soft, gentle way, his vocals stir up wistful feelings of nostalgia for a life I never lived. His music, especially the deeper cuts, evoke a delicate and exquisite ache of transcendence. You can close your eyes and momentarily leave your own place in time to go somewhere else spiritually. So few artists are capable of inciting that feeling in a listener. Neil does that for me, effortlessly.
Def Leppard
5/5
Oh fuck yeah, Friday is starting off with a BANG! This album is a tour de force of glossy 80's stadium rock. I have so much affection for it, because I loved Def Leppard growing up. Their songs are fun and so sing-a-long-able (even though a lot of the time I struggled to decipher what was actually being said through the screeching and echoey vocals.) Case in point: Love Bites. All my life I have sung that one part as "it can't be love if you're throwing him out" and just learned today that it is actually "it can't be love if you throw it about" LOL. I still think my misheard lyrics work better here. Listening with lyrics on in Spotify is illuminating so many more misheard lyrics for me! Omg.
Overall though, facts are facts. The drummer had one fucking arm and they made an album with 7 singles on it!!!! That is a stunning accomplishment and not many artists have done it. Def Leppard rules!
The Sugarcubes
3/5
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh!
Not a Björk listener, but loved this song and adore the way she sings those Ohs. This album is wacky and punky in such a fun way. I enjoyed it. I wish Björk had veered left into punk instead of going right to take the electronic exit.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
4/5
Underrated gem, this album gives you moody but melodic songs with subdued indie charm long before it was ever a sought after commodity in music. Great listen.
Boston
3/5
Ever notice how bands named after places all have their BIG SONG that nets 15 minutes of fame/endless radio replay? And then everything else they do is just kinda... there? See for yourself:
Europe = The Final Countdown
Kansas = Dust In The Wind
Chicago = Saturday in the Park
Asia = Heat of the Moment
Boston = More Than a Feeling
To be fair, the first three tracks of this album are full blown classic rock in all its timeless glory. The rest, well, they had to make a full album of material so you get some more impassioned guitar noodling to pull you through to the end, but nothing that dares soar nearly so high as More Than a Feeling. Which is the transcendent track, it is a whole ass mood for a specific time and place and I'll always dig it. But overall, not worth going much further into this catalogue.
Baaba Maal
2/5
I am completely ambivalent about this. Rating 2 stars to avoid being too harshly dismissive of something I just couldn’t get it up for.
Air
1/5
I hate listening to movie scores. Sorry, but it's everything I hate. Music attempting to be atmospheric for very specific moments between fictional characters with made up dramas, it all feels so very TRY HARD to elicit an exacting emotional reaction… I just don't get how people can listen to it without the visual accompaniment of the actual movie. This is also heavily electronic, so I hate it even more. It's not for me. Too pompous and lacking too much context for me to care about its entire tonal point.
R.E.M.
5/5
Brilliant debut record. R.E.M. jumpstarted what we think of now as indie rock. They have a lot of cool underground alternative cred because of their weirdly divergent yet catchy/poppy music. You're listening to real artists, people daring to go against the grain and see where it takes them. R.E.M. has always been an act with substance, that keeps me guessing. I've always appreciated what I perceive to be their deliberate oddball confidence and willingness to deviate from convention but still be accessible and open. They never cultivated or courted exclusivity in a way that so many other acts just trying to be DIFFERENT did. They just are, and we're all cool with it. The music of those who strive to truly enjoy what they enjoy while totally unencumbered by material urges or cares. R.E.M. fucking rules!
David Bowie
5/5
Pure unadulterated genius.
Quietly and secretly taking the time to construct a final masterpiece before an unexpected and unannounced departure is something only Bowie could pull off. And it is a masterpiece, no doubt about that. What a badass baller move, man. Fucking Bowie. Even in death he's an innovator far ahead of our time, the likes of which we'll never see again. A rare, perfect gem, that blazes (that's right, BLAZES, not shines) brighter than any other. Thank you.
The 13th Floor Elevators
2/5
Generic 60s hippie junk.
Fiona Apple
2/5
Torturous listen. Not a fan of Apple, but I do respect her. I just don’t want to listen to her.
Meat Loaf
3/5
Flipping through my uncle’s old records when I was a kid, I used to think this album was hardcore and way more metal because of the cover. But then we played it one day and it’s actually a super cornball melodramatic rock opera of sorts instead. Surprise! Meat Loaf can belt it out like no other, but this hasn’t aged very well thematically. Paradise by the Dashboard Light is the tired and clichéd old “ugh women amiright?” joke that is so played out now. There’s nothing remarkable here, but I can see why it appealed to so many people, classic rock staple and all that.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
5/5
Do do do do do, doot doot, do do do do!
These guys are good. Pleasant 60's rock, the harmonies are lush and give me a real heady high. 40 minutes flew by and before I knew it the album was over. That's a damn good feeling, just grooving the whole way through, not worrying about a thing. I looped it a few times throughout the day and just really dug it. This is a very well-rounded trio. I like me some Young in the mix too, but you can't go wrong with CSN.
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
3/5
This gives me strange reminiscences of Soul Coughing, if Soul Coughing had decided to go hip hop instead of jazz alternative.
The packaging was concerning, I judged very harshly on first sight. But it's alright. Not a timeless classic, but of its time and socially conscious in an accessible way. Plus, there's a Fraser Crane soundbite! Into that.
William Orbit
1/5
Nope! Didn't like William Orbit the first time around, not into it this time either. Fuck off electronic shit.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
4/5
Good shit. Janis had the voice of a chain-smoking demonic troll, and used it to wail her heart out in the best possible way. She was a treasure and I love listening to her.
Megadeth
2/5
Meh. Meh-adeth. Even that failed attempt at a pun sucks.
Hanoi Rocks
2/5
Generic af. I don’t even say af like the kids do, but it’s fitting here. These guys are just unspecial, watered down rum and coke when I ordered a Cuba Libre.
Roxy Music
3/5
I know this is unkind and harsh to say, but they've always felt like the budget Talking Heads to me. (And I know they came first! But still... what they were trying to do, Talking Heads did a 1000x better.)
I actually enjoyed this album, maybe it's because they made more of an attempt to be commercial here, but I found it to be a concisely paced and well-rounded outing for Roxy Music overall. I hate the album cover though. It feels like such a cop out, a sleazy attempt to be controversial and titillate, "oh we'll put gorgeous naked women on the cover because then we'll actually sell some records." You know, as opposed to trying to market themselves as a band. *eyeroll*
Os Mutantes
4/5
These are not the mutants I wanted, but they're the ones I got, and I'm sticking with 'em!
Massive Attack
1/5
Right, okay, another massive attack of absolute shit.
God I hate this. Boo! Boo! Hisssssss, boo! I think I've mentioned before that I hate electronic music, yes? Enough already, please. Jesus fucking christ, how many seminal electronic albums can there possibly be?!?! I'd like to change my order.
Arrested Development
2/5
Not my thing, but I let it play through the whole way and wasn’t bothered by it. Nothing stuck though. I can’t remember a single song. And I hate this album name, it’s clunky and obnoxious.
Ramones
5/5
Oh my fucking god, best Friday EVER!!!!
It's a brilliant debut album. These crazy cool motherfuckers hit the scene and it was never the same again. There are incredibly deep layers of genius embedded in the irreverent simplicity of it all. The Ramones rule. I wanna be your glue-sniffing, sedated boyfriend, baby!
Syd Barrett
1/5
Fuck off, Pink Floyd wanker.
Sam Cooke
3/5
I adore Sam Cooke, always have. But I can’t understand why this particular album is on the list. The live recording does the musicians in his band no justice. Sam’s voice rings through pure and true, he sounds great and like he’s having so much fun. But the music and the bar and the crowd create such a distracting racket.
Elvis Presley
5/5
He looks so hot on the cover. Young, sexy Elvis singing with all his passion. Yum! Sign me up.
Thematically, this album is giving me whiplash. There's some classic covers, sure. But then you've got tender love songs that Elvis emotes so touchingly followed by ruthless, you-can-get-the-fuck-out break up songs. It can be quite jarring as a listening experience. He broke so many rules to pave the way for true rock n roll. What it comes down to is two things: he looks good and I’d bang him.
Skunk Anansie
3/5
Nothing about this seems like it'll be orgasmic. In fact, that title is downright off-putting. But you know what? It rocks harder than I thought it would. I was expecting some god awful electronic trip-hop crap, and it's not nearly as terrible as that. It's pretty cool. A pleasant surprise actually. I really dig this singer and the heavy rock on some tracks.
Skepta
2/5
I mean… meh? I find it very confusing that the album title is Konnichiwa but then it’s full of very British rap. I like the album cover though.
Boards of Canada
1/5
What? Wtf does this album title even mean?
This frigging sucks. And it's creepy. Get lost, Board of Canada, you're not representing our fine country appropriately and you're not even from here!!! This should be removed in favour of a Hip or BNL record.
Fela Kuti
4/5
Only 4 tracks and all of them are 12-14 minutes long. Uh oh. I’m suspicious.
You know? I like this! It’s really jazzy and fun. I don’t have any context for understanding it, but I looped through it a few times and just really enjoyed it. Very cool record.
Willie Nelson
5/5
Not me soaking in the bath tub after a long stressful day crying to Willie Nelson now. Goddamn Willie, you’re a magnificent bastard. Can’t believe you got me flipping for a record of covers. Iconic. His voice is unmistakably pure and emotive. Classic and understated with remarkable confidence and grace too. I love it. Thanks for the letting me have all my feels today, Willie. You’re a bro.
David Bowie
3/5
Okay, so I love Bowie, I acknowledge his vast musical genius and all that, but I don’t blindly worship everything he does. This record is lukewarm at best. Just nothing about it grabbed my attention or surprised me. And Bowie has so many entries on this list already, is this one really necessary too? Really? I don’t think so. It’s a middling effort at 2010’s hipster rock with Bowie’s gigantic name attached. Meh.
Blondie
5/5
Phenomenal listening experience. You get so much out of a tightly paced 39 minutes. Cool arty punk rock new wave rad badassery! It really does have it all. Definitely one for the record collection, you can pop this on and people will groove to it in any setting. And can we talk about Debbie Harry for a minute? Goddess! Unearthly treasure we do not deserve. She is the moment. She is the serve. The throaty raspy growl, my god, I'm in vocal heaven with her! This is an absolute knockout.
Aerosmith
3/5
I came of age with late 80s/early 90s Aerosmith so for me this record lacks the special sauce that makes Aerosmith fun to listen to. But I understand a lot of purists think 70s Aerosmith is best because you get actual rock without all the affected bullshit airs being put on. Call me crazy, but I prefers the airs to be put on. Here you can see the gradual build up to what they’ll ultimately become. The upward trajectory is just starting to climb towards full-blown Steven Tyler screech singing glory. The singles rule, the rest is okay.
The Smashing Pumpkins
5/5
Ah yes, the double CD I filched from my older sister's room. Remember when you'd buy a double CD and it would come in a very clunky awkward case that didn't fit into the CD racks we bought to show off our impressive music collections? This was a crown jewel of that collection for sure, after I stole it from hers. She didn't have really cool taste, she just had this one to impress a boy she liked.
I, on the other hand, listened to this album a lot. I really got into it in my college years. Billy is a difficult personality and his opinions are polarizing at best, but he's a tortured soul who writes beautiful music. I'm not a fan of overly long albums, but this just flows so perfectly throughout. It taps into something very melancholic and sad inside of me indeed. It's a cathartic listen but it also brings the alt rock intensity I crave too. Stellar work, an all-time great.
Todd Rundgren
2/5
This is a most bizarre listening experience. It's like a child was let loose in the recording studio and said "look dad, I can make records too!" then proceeded to go HAM on all the instruments while shouting stream of consciousness lyrics into a mic. I like weird and oddball things, but I think this one is just a bit too far left of strange for my liking.
Paul McCartney and Wings
5/5
Top notch record end to end. Classic songs, killer riffs, and Paul is free to explore his musicality while leading his listeners on a delightful journey. I love it. I love Paul and George as solo acts so much more than in the Beatles. They get to be themselves without John oppressing their creativity. And they are powerfully creative and skilled musicians, nobody doubts it.
Duke Ellington
3/5
Jazz hands!! Ba ba ba BAAAA!
Thundercat
2/5
I was disappointed. The album cover immediately had me jonesing for some great undiscovered 70s funk. But then I saw the year 2017 and knew I was going to be left unsatisfied. It was listenable, sure. But why would you listen to it? Mediocrity abounds.
Jimmy Smith
2/5
To the chicken shack! Oh wait, no. I don’t want to go there. No thank you.
Calexico
3/5
Honestly, I am not in the mood today for music I don't recognize or know at all. I need some familiar favourites, some easy 5-star classics. I groaned, out loud and obnoxiously when I saw this album come up. I thought "Really? More unknown fucking crap that I don't give a shit about that I have to suffer through???" But I'm having a hard time right now, so I was being a judgemental bitch.
I hate the band name, the album name, and the album cover. But, and it's a big BUT, the music was chill. It wasn't the awful ear assault I was expecting and I actually looped all the way through without batting an eye. I am pleased. Not impressed, but pleased for now.
Television
5/5
Gloriously glorious! The best 70's post-punk sound, it hits the sweet spot in my eardrums just right. These guys are fucking cool and I dig 'em. People rag on punk bands for having no musicality, but Television is skillfully creative with their instruments and sound without being overbearing about it. Amazing album end to end.
Bonnie Raitt
3/5
My aunt had a Bonnie Raitt greatest hits CD I used to listen to a lot when I was babysitting my cousins. It calmed them down. I love her husky bluesy voice, she oozes authenticity and she’s a hell of a guitar player. And her lyrical content is uniquely vulnerable yet upbeat and tough. Quite a badass. Hail Bonnie.
Paul Simon
5/5
You Can Call Me Al is a goddamn masterpiece, and the rest of this album slaps just as hard. 80s Paul Simon has so much BDE that you can’t help but get swept up in his strange little pop rock fantasy party.
The Mothers Of Invention
2/5
No. Never been a Zappa fan. He’s a smart and innovative artist but I just don’t cotton to his ways. Go freak out over there, away from me.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Stevie always brings the good times, the funk, the emotions, the soul. You get a whole lot of mileage out of his records. This one isn’t his greatest in my opinion, but it’s pretty goddamn good.
Iggy Pop
5/5
All this time I had no idea China Girl had been recorded by Iggy first. I knew he had working history with Bowie, but I just didn't know the extent of it. I was already loving this album, but now I feel more rock educated and totally mind blown at the same time. Incredible artistry, love the musicianship here, and Iggy's thick dry vocals always do it for me. It's good shit.
PJ Harvey
3/5
I like this more than the other Harvey albums that have come up through this generator. It’s more aggressive and heavy, leaning into more rock instrumentation. I know that not all of these songs are to be interpreted autobiographically, but there’s very real vulnerabilities being expressed and explored here, which connects me to Harvey more than ever, and engages my listening. She’s an artist I’m aware of, but have always kept on my periphery and probably still will, but I like this better than her other offerings.
Youssou N'Dour
4/5
I didn’t understand a lick of this album, but I liked listening to it while I winged my eyeliner in anticipation of another shit workday full of monotonous zoom meetings.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Welcome to the house that harmonies built. I love the beautiful way Simon and Garfunkel's voices blend together, they truly are a dynamic pair. I can feel the thematic whiplash here though, the struggle Simon had songwriting is quite obvious. But the soft sweet singing and phenomenal instrumentation carry this album through all of that, so the tectonic lyrical and thematic shifts are forgiven. It's just such a nice record. Put it on to feel serene. Put it on to feel amused. Put it on to be entertained and delighted.
The War On Drugs
2/5
I could possibly like this if some of the tracks weren't so unnecessarily long. Sorry, but 6, 7, 8 minute long songs need to be as fucking radically awesome as Bohemian Rhapsody if you're going to ask for my ears. Lame ass hipster guitar noodling isn't gunna cut it.
There's some okay stuff here. I don't hate it, but it hasn't made a lasting impression because it sounds like every American Indie record from the early-mid 2010's. I can't tell the sonic difference between this or whatever else came out at this time that I mostly ignored.
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
Bargain bin 80s junk.
Brian Eno
2/5
I know Eno is this prolific musical genius who has innovated more in one day than most musicians could ever hope to throughout their entire career. But… I just don’t really enjoy this. There’s some pop rock sounds here that could be cool in the right setting. I just don’t care for it. Meh.
The Divine Comedy
2/5
Ugh. Not this guy again. Two entries for this is group is overkill. I hate the deliberately goofy and artless way this album sounds.
Kate Bush
4/5
Damn, the power of Stranger Things eh? Got such a huge second life that even RuPaul is using Running Up That Hill for lip-syncs on drag race now too. Good for you, Kate. Talented and under-appreciated artist finally getting her props and making some major coin.
I actually love this album though. The music is bitching and offbeat in the coolest way. It's a wonderful thing to see an artist who is truly untethered and able to express themselves so freely in their music. Absolutely adore this album cover too, it's stunning. Kate is gorgeous, and I am feeling her lavender fantasy for real.
Antony and the Johnsons
2/5
Omg, I'm in American Idol hopeful hell with these vocals. The lyrics are disturbingly dark but the gentle treatment they've been given doesn't help to serve their purpose. It’s boring and reeks of disingenuous posturing.
2/5
What.The.Fuck.
I mean, they certainly tried, didn’t they?
Goldfrapp
2/5
This poor little songbird may be happy in her cage, but she isn't living up to her full potential. The entire album played through and started again without me ever realizing there had been separate and distinct tracks.
Metallica
4/5
Relentless unadulterated heavy metal. You are on a punishing thrash ride from the first red-hot guitar lick all the way through ‘til the last.
Butthole Surfers
1/5
I never got into these guys, and I’ve always found myself skipping their songs or changing the station to avoid them. That was just brazen naked prejudice on my part. Never liked their name because it sounded so immature and “try-hard” to be cool. I gave this entire album a full listen today and can confidently say I’ve been right this whole time. They SUCK! It was a bunch of infantile nonsense. There was one semi-decent riff that barely lasted long enough to give my ears a reprieve from all the asinine stupidity emanating from this “record”. The book and its cover were appropriately judged and dismissed a long time ago.
Super Furry Animals
2/5
Barely tolerable mediocre nothing rock.
Ryan Adams
1/5
Oh no, not this sexual harassing piece of shit again. Not on my watch! Fuck you, Ryan Adams. Justice for Liz Phair and Mandy Moore. I’m going to listen to their music today instead. I hope your dick rots and falls off.
The Mothers Of Invention
2/5
I already know what this is all about, and it's just not my thing. Not a big fan of Zappa's sound. I've mentioned before, on the last MOI record that I was assigned not so long ago, that while I can appreciate his unique POV and bold willingness to experiment, I just don't like the way the music sounds. It's not my bag, baby. Simple as that.
The Verve
2/5
I couldn’t possibly be more bored listening to this uninspired drivel.
Sebadoh
2/5
It vacillates from juvenile white boy breakup musings poorly masquerading as poignant indie lyricism to juvenile white boy wannabe Beck manufactured weirdness that tries way too hard. I already dated this loser in college, I don't need to hear his crappy album now years later.
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Aptly named, it isn’t really much of anything except utterly and completely boring.
Leftfield
1/5
I’m exhausted by the relentless stream of crap records I’ve been assigned lately. I just want some good music, please. PLEASE. But then I get more 90s English electronic junk… *exasperated sigh*. After 20+ records exactly like this one you’re telling me we still haven’t plumbed the unlistenable depths of that genre yet? Jesus.Fucking.Christ. Enough already!
Rod Stewart
2/5
Rod Stewart singing a bunch of covers? Really? We all need to hear this before we die? I mean, COME ON!
I don't need to hear the demo tape he was desperately peddling to try and get a record deal. I have no beef with Rod, and I like his raspy vocals, so I can sit through it. But this one makes me seriously question the integrity of this list and its list makers. Bad judgement call here.
The Libertines
1/5
Ugh, Pete Doherty has got to be one of the all-time most revolting humans on the planet. I feel like I need 6 weeks in rehab just from looking at him. And he's a talentless hack to boot. I don't know much of his music, but I'm not hearing anything special here. I'm more well-acquainted with his train-wreck of a relationship with another disgusting human being, Kate Moss. They're both foul and they deserved each other. Weak sauce.
Miriam Makeba
3/5
Okay, so she's got a good voice and all, but this does nothing for me and I don't have the appropriate cultural contextual background to understand it's significance. Overall, it's fine, but I'm completely disinterested in it as a musical offering.
5/5
Generally don't care for live albums, but I wanna be part of the solution, man!! Fuck yeah!!!
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
2/5
No no no. I need something way less pious than this today.
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
I was vibing with the tribe today, it’s alright. Not my genre, not something I would seek out. But it was chillin’.
Dusty Springfield
3/5
Dusty does her thing. I’ve heard her thing many many times, and it’s a good sounding thing, of course. But it’s just not my favourite thing.
Paul McCartney
3/5
I was going to completely dismiss this as unformed drivel on first listen, with the exception of Maybe I'm Amazed, which we all know and accept for the masterpiece that it is. But on second listen I started to enjoy it a bit more. Third listen was pleasant too. I do still think there are a lot of raw, unformed ideas here that haven't been fully realized. The odd Elvis like affectation of the phrase "mama" as a term of endearment is still a bizarre choice to me. It's been peppered into a few tracks and I have to wonder what that's all about. Is he emulating Elvis? Mocking him? I'm not quite sure. But it's not a colour that suits McCartney. It is a listenable and enjoyable album. But is it impactful? No.
The Band
5/5
Phenomenal debut album. Nobody brings you the down home comfort tunes that seamlessly vacillate from joyfully kitschy to powerfully emotional like The Band does. Every song immerses the listener deep in their world of eclectic characters, sorrowful tales, and countryfied catechisms. Sometimes it's like you're chewing the fat with Old Jim down the road and other times you're being taken to church. It's a truly unique listening experience. They have the gift of irreverent profundity and I am forever awed by it. Naturally talented musicians who don't even have to try, they just open up their hearts, strum their guitars, and welcome you in.
Cowboy Junkies
3/5
The vocals and the music are pleasing. But the overall tone is too sleepy throughout, it never picks up or gives me something to latch onto. I need to rock, I like to groove, I wanna funk shit up. This record meets 0/3 of my essential listening needs. But I do still appreciate the new path they forged with this bizarre country-alt fusion that nobody was asking for at the time.
The Lemonheads
5/5
"No Juliana next to my Evan"
This is arguably the most 90's alt rock record of all the 90's alt rock records ever recorded. Other possible contenders being Weezer - Blue album, Counting Crows - August and Everything After, and Letters to Cleo - Aurora Gory Alice. It's just a stunning perfect masterpiece of exactly what it is - disaffected outcast youth expressing its apathetic and oftentimes wry or self-deprecating views on life, love, and all that bullshit you have to endure when finding oneself.
Sabu
2/5
Damn, talk about a u-turn! I've got a bad case of sonic whiplash going from The Lemonheads yesterday to this today. I'm sure this record is revered for a reason but all these fucking bongos and congas are doing my head in. It just sounds like a noisy construction site. Not for me.
The Undertones
3/5
What a horribly bizarre album cover. Was the budget that low? Was the art director’s day job bussing tables? They went for a swanky lobster dinner one time and thought “take a photo, this is the life!” And then somehow decided this photo that makes the guys look like dorky tourist dads was fitting to sell a punk record? It is so not punk. Everything about it is so disjointed and jarring. There’s no cohesion with the genre, I can’t stand it.
The music on the other hand, if you can get past this abomination of an album cover, is decent. Juvenile at times, but punk often is. It’s fine. I just don’t understand how they ever expected to sell a single record with that album cover. It’s absurd.
Moby Grape
3/5
“I look like Moby Grape”. I thought that was just a funny self-deprecating one liner in Angus, did not know there was an actual band going by this name some 20+ years before that movie came out.
It’s groovy hippie rock. I’ve been on a big Grateful Dead bender lately, so I’m digging this. Probably won’t seek it out again, but won’t skip tracks when they come up in my Spotify generated playlists because of this listen tossing them into the algorithmic mix. Hippies gotta hip, man, and I’m cool with it.
Pink Floyd
1/5
Oh god, I hate Pink Floyd. Please let this be the last of them from the generator.
The Birthday Party
1/5
Oh man, would you look at that? A huge pile of dogshit and I just stepped right in it! And I'm wearing my brand new chucks too. That sucks. Maybe there's a Ryan Adams album nearby I can wipe my feet on.
Spacemen 3
2/5
I’m not interested in weird space juice today. Spotify only has the reissued double album of this crap. I hate that. I need to hear the originally released recording, it’s a much more palatable ask. If I’ve never heard of you or your band, I’m not listening to 2 hours of it.
Sparks
3/5
Ladies and gentlemen, performing for you tonight, it's Lady Styx!!! Even though this band is full of men, it's somehow the lady version of Styx. That's just what it sounds like *shrug*. They're growers not showers so it may take you a few listens to settle in and acclimate to the frenetic glam rock assault you're about to experience. Enjoy the show!
Fun Lovin' Criminals
3/5
For 90s rap rock fusion I typically turned to Rage Against The Machine or Sublime. I never went into the hip hop influenced vein of that particular niche. But I had a good time with these guys this morning. Running around robbing banks all whacked off of Scooby Snacks is a mood I could fuck with today. Also did not expect to hear impassioned pleas for freeing John Gotti but I rolled with it lol.
Arctic Monkeys
3/5
This album encapsulates a very specific moment in time for me. It was an introduction to a whole new era of English aughts rock. I prefer AM to this one though, because the singles are stronger and more darkly suggestive. But I sure rocked the fuck out of that looking good on the dance floor song for a hot moment, don’t you ever doubt it.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
5/5
It’s brilliant. Concept, music, lyrics, cover image for the album. I know a lot of people feel Elvis Costello is over represented on this list, and maybe he is, but I just love his whole schtick and I’ll take it any way I can get it. I love the brazen oddball-ity of him, I love the witty turns of phrase in his lyrics, I even love his strangely cloying and affected but endearing vocals. And this is peak Costello. If you need to zero in on his most accomplished moments, this would be the high watermark of his career. This and My Aim is True are perfect summations of him as an artist and creative entity. Love love love. Fuck yeah.
The Velvet Underground
4/5
"she's busy sucking on my ding-dong". I ask you, has a more poignant lyric ever been written?
Though I love Lou Reed so very much, I do think +17 minutes for a track is way too self-indulgent. Otherwise, you're getting exactly what you'd expect from VU, skewed very far left of avant-garde and a hop/skip off the path of experimentation into full blown mad science territory. It’s oddly hypnotic and shouldn’t work but somehow it does.
Digital Underground
2/5
Keep your sex packets to yourself. One lame ass one-hit wonder from the 90's does not an iconic album make. Although they do name drop Burger King and that amuses me, so I'll be kinder with my star rating. But this album really isn't anything special.
Scritti Politti
2/5
I thought Brits were immune or allergic to boy bands? Sounds like the British pop version of Color Me Badd. It's harmless and unimpactful. Every single track sounds exactly the same; there's no tonal, lyrical or sonic variety to be found here. If the year of release was 2023 I'd assume this whole album was written and performed by ChatGPT. It should probably just stay in the $1 records value bin where it belongs.
Killing Joke
3/5
These guys sound like they are living that Beyond Thunderdome life and gigging it up hard. The more I listen, the more I like.
Rahul Dev Burman
2/5
Excuse me, my weird aunt got me this album for Christmas. Can I please exchange it for something cool instead? Like, Village People or Kool & The Gang? I'd even take a Boney M if you've got it. Please, help me out man!
Solange
2/5
Meh to the 10th power of meh. At least she actually writes a lot of her own songs unlike her sister.
Culture Club
2/5
Respect Boy George for being so unapologetically himself and giving representation to queer non-binary weirdos who defied societal norms by daring to be themselves at a time when the world wasn’t very kind about that. He does have a lovely voice too. Karma Chameleon is a song I’ve always enjoyed. But the rest of this album is underwhelming filler at best.
Blue Cheer
2/5
Monotonous hippie junk.
Incubus
2/5
The singles slap, but the rest is uninspired formulaic 90s alt rock. I would never say that this is a talented or remarkable group. They got lucky with a few decent songs, that’s all.
Amy Winehouse
3/5
Damn, Amy read some poor bitch to filth in that fuck me pumps song! Didn’t recognize any of these songs, and am not a regular Winehouse listener generally, but I do appreciate her uniquely acerbic lyricism and soulful voice. She had the guts to express herself however she wanted through her music and has a Joplinesque quality to her singing, personality, and lifestyle that made her highly marketable and sought after. She may have been a deeply tortured soul in life, but in music she is fierce and fabulous.
Jack White
3/5
It’s fine. But I prefer the music Jack makes with The White Stripes.
Paul Simon
3/5
Me and Julio is a great song. I generally enjoy Paul Simon, but this album is a lot sleepier than I’d hoped for. I like it better when he’s more melodic and upbeat.
Steely Dan
3/5
Easily the most generic of all the classic dad rock that was ever created. Reelin’ in the Years I like, but I do skip it sometimes because it’s been so overplayed by classic rock radio. Do It Again has always bored me as a song, its catchy in an annoying “why is this so catchy?” kind of way. I like this bizarre album cover art a lot more than the actual record itself. This surreal gummy worm penis thing would excite Dalí to no end.
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
Of all the electronic, arty farty 2000’s indie rock I’ve listened to so far, this is the least offensive. It actually borders on enjoyable some of the time. The track Someone Great reminds me of a friend who played it constantly for a while in 2012. I didn’t hate this but I didn’t swoon over it either like I remember so many people did. It’s fine, it has its place. But I’m not going to seek it out.
Aerosmith
3/5
I don't hear anything that makes this album distinct or innovative comparatively to Toys in the Attic, which is already on the list. Back in the Saddle is a bitchin' opener, sure. But Aerosmith isn't exactly known for being poetically, lyrically, or musically significant in any real way. They're just a bunch of hard partying dudes having a good time and making mediocre music in the process. It's fine, but it's not special. 90's revival/sellout Aerosmith at least gave us some iconic music videos.
Jamiroquai
1/5
Boring and it sucks.
Black Sabbath
5/5
Hail satan, listen to Sabbath! The riffs are revolutionary and the rock is unquestionably badass.
Fugees
4/5
Killing Me Softly is an iconic cover, one of the best that’s ever been done. The beats are tight, Lauryn Hill is a goddess, and the album cover is perfection.
Depeche Mode
5/5
I have to take a moment here to gripe yet again about how fucking stupid it is that Spotify doesn't have the originally released version to listen to. I HATE that I'm always stuck with these remastered versions or expanded editions. I don't want all this extra shit. I want to hear the album as it was originally released and originally intended to be heard. FUCK SAKES!!! Why won't they give listeners that option?!?
Anyways... this album is a masterpiece, everyone knows it. This is the pinnacle album of Depeche Mode's career, the high watermark of their artistic output if you will. This is as good as synth pop ever gets or will ever be. Personal Jesus is still the standout track, it hits every time I hear it.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Soulful and socially conscious, this album is full of joyful music Trojan Horsing a not so subtle plea for equality, peace, and racial harmony. It’s a cool stylish way of delivering an impactful message.
Morrissey
5/5
Zeus: Are the wickedest queens always the comeliest?
Hercules: Usually
I mean, talk about an asinine personality and attitude wrapped in sexy packaging. Morrissey is so yummy on this album cover, looking like a real snack. But then he lives to instigate bullshit and it’s just so immature and painful to watch. I love and appreciate his immense lyrical talent, and I feel like I could empathize with him, but then I read quotes of the things he’s said and I’m repulsed by his wretched insistent cuntiness.
The heart wants what it wants though, and ultimately, mine wants witty, wry and darkly humorous lyrics, something Morrissey always delivers.
Gang Starr
1/5
I'm gunna tell you a little story about unheard of 90s hip hop duo Gang Starr: NO.
I'm so disinterested in this on every level, it’s 18 tracks of inane mediocrity that I do not need right now.
Blood, Sweat & Tears
2/5
More like Boring, Boring & Boring if you ask me. I've heard a few of these songs thousands of times on the radio and they never made me want to delve deeper into the band's catalogue. It's just basic rock/jazz fodder for the classic rock machine.
Slayer
3/5
Well that’ll wake you the fuck up, damn. I don’t think my speakers were ready for such aggressively loud satanism at 8:30am on a Wednesday. But, I'm into it. I don't care for the first track, the controversial one, Angel of Death. The Nazi fetishism to court public outcry and backlash feels a bit too desperate and too deliberate to be taken as actual artistic expression. Other than that, you've got a classic thrash metal album that checks all the right boxes: searing guitars, annihilating drums, and breakneck furious pacing.
Keith Jarrett
3/5
I... I wish I was cultured enough to can. But unfortunately, I cannot.
I am an uncultured swine who cannot discern anything other than competently played piano. I'm going back to Slayer.
Prince
5/5
Yesssssssss! Oh thank you Bryan Christ, you heard my prayers begging for a kickass album to jumpstart my sad sad heart. And you delivered the baddest, most motherfucking funky sexy cool album possible. Oh thank you thank you thank you! I needed this one.
Virtuoso masterpiece! Brilliant dazzling genius flows directly through this music! All-time greatest movie soundtrack! Artistry unchained, taking us to dizzying new heights of glory! All courtesy of the Purple One, the only modern deity I worship. Truly a gift.
The Beach Boys
5/5
I’m blown away. I already knew and accepted Brian Wilson as a precious musical genius unlike any other, but as a lyrics first listener I’m finding so much previously discovered poignancy and magic here. I’ve never heard this album before, and the idea of socially conscious Beach Boys had me worried I’d be experiencing some bizarre cognizant dissonance with it, but instead I am utterly surprised and delighted! I love this sound, I love the lyricism, and I love this point of view for the Beach Boys. It suits them and they wear it well. I’m in awe. This is an amazing fucking album and an instant new favourite for me. Very well done, laser focused execution, and the album cover is breathtaking too. High point for them in my books, and a crown jewel of their discography for sure.
My Bloody Valentine
3/5
Shoegaze just doesn't do it for me. There's no momentum. There’s too much sad boi apathy and I find myself bored by it. I do understand it's place and how it evolved; I can appreciate the divergent nature of it, and this record is certainly the highest form of shoegaze, the most revered and quintessential album belonging to this genre. Respect and all that, but I still come back to the fact that it does nothing for me sonically. Stirs no passion, inspires no excitement. Middle of the road neutral rating.
Todd Rundgren
3/5
So boring. It’s inoffensive innocuous soft rock. I’ve heard the singles many many times on classic rock radio and I’ve never felt compelled to go deeper. Granted, Rundgren does address the issue of his boring formulaic music with his next album, A Wizard A True Star, but I didn’t exactly love that either. It’s fine, this album is just fine. But it’s also cursed now because it features prominently in the first few episodes of And Just Like That, the worst show on television. I won’t take points off for that, but I just can’t think of a worse way for it to try and drive some substantial new royalties from. That show is so not the right fit for it. And it’s not going to get the same renewed interest that Kate Bush got from its genius use in Stranger Things. Sorry Todd, you’re just too basic.
The Stranglers
2/5
Rattus crapus.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
This is my 5th Cohen album assigned by the generator, and I believe it'll be the last. It really should be, I'm running out of things to say about Canada's songwriting poet and his prolific body of work. Part of me does wonder though, 5 albums is a lot, probably too many. I think we could have freed up at least 3 more spots for other incredible Canadian artists to be showcased and appreciated. The Tragically Hip, like hello!
The songwriting is as rich and pithy as ever it was, and Cohen's younger voice drawls in a pleasingly maudlin way. It's what I expect from him. I do like an older, gruff and gravelly vocal from him slightly more, you know, the music from the later part of his career, but that's just a personal preference. Overall, it’s another fantastic album from Cohen’s vast catalogue.
David Bowie
5/5
What a blast! From the iconic opening track all the way through to the equally iconic closer, this album is just such a treat. You get jazzy funky fun Bowie, crooning emotional weirdo Bowie, smouldering intensity soul Bowie, and boldly venturing into R&B Bowie too! It's an ever shifting sonic kaleidoscope of tones, moods, and styles that blend together with effortless cool. It's about as buttery as Bowie ever gets; we need a biscuit to sop him up! The perfect album for a night owl summer cruise on a hot sticky night with the windows down and nobody else on the road.
Sufjan Stevens
4/5
Weirdly soft and delicate, yet bold and uniquely its own. Sufjan Stevens gives you a musically intricate portrayal of his Illinoisian experiences. I heard he was going to do one album like this for every state, seems he bailed on that alleged mission real quick. Perfect album cover for Illinois. A postcard from the edge of indie darling sanity.
Fugazi
4/5
It’s just very in its lane, classically executed punk rock. Good vibes, I liked. I appreciated the straightforwardness of it. Familiar with Fugazi already, but they haven’t rewritten the book for me or anything like that. You just get exactly what you paid for from them.
Bill Evans Trio
3/5
It’s a cute little jazz piano moment, but not a life changer for me.
Ute Lemper
2/5
Just because a lot of well-known artists were paid homage or contributed to this album is weak ass reason include it. Ute has a great voice, sure. But my god the whole tone of this "record" is off-putting. Is it the culled together dregs of a dreadful musical that never made it to production? Is it some sort of cabaret pop fusion I'm just not jiving with? What is this?? I don't even think it knows what it was trying to be. Better left to the rubbish bins and $1 record crates.
Tom Waits
4/5
Surreal and wild as he ever was, Waits does what Waits does here. Talk about someone accessing their true creative core and channelling it into the world without any distillation or sugarcoating. Waits isn't someone burdened by the shackles of what others think or commercial appeal, he just sends his art out into the world and come what may. I wouldn't call myself a fan, but it is nice just knowing that he exists. I have the utmost respect for the method to his madness and the truly one-of-a-kind artistry of him.
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
I have so much fondness for Curtis Mayfield. He's truly underrated and not lauded nearly enough for his funky cool creative genius. He's the kind of artist I mention in passing that people shrug off in a "I don't know him" way that is so unfortunate to see because he's a treasure trove of emotive funk soul and OG R&B music with a deeper message. And that album cover! It perfectly conveys how artificial and ethically bankrupt the "American Dream" actually is and says so much about the disenfranchisement experienced by Black Americans. Whitey is thriving and doing so off the backs of hardworking immigrants and minorities struggling to eek out a base level existence, ah yes, that American Dream! What a wonder it is!
Sonic Youth
4/5
You get exactly what you'd expect from Sonic Youth's first album released through a major record label. Their signature blend of sardonic apathy and too cool for everyone and everything dissenting attitudes buffed and polished with a little extra spit shine from the label. Kool Thing is the iconic single that even the uninitiated recognize as the band's sonic thumbprint in the annals of music history. It's a good album. Kool cover art. But I like Daydream Nation more.
Björk
2/5
What is left to say about Björk after the other albums of hers that I've already reviewed? She's a nutcase weirdo marching to the beat of her own drum and I respect that. But I don't like her style of music. Electronic experimental bullshit isn't my bag, baby. And now she's serving pure human vocal a cappella this time? I mean, c'mon. I'm so disinterested in this and it's just not working for me.
Nothing about this album has changed my overall opinion of Björk. It's cool that she exists and does what she does, but it's not for me.
Kid Rock
1/5
Asinine, infantile crap that should not be revered in any way. Harmful to developing prepubescent and teen male psyches at a time when they needed to be shown better examples of non-toxic masculinity. And the guy is an absolute fucking idiot to boot. Not supporting it.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Okay, let's be real here. I like the Cos, I've already been on record a few times for this project saying so. He's a quirky oddball weirdo who puts together lyrically campy and musically intricate songs that I can vibe with. BUT, it's getting to be overkill with his record inclusions now. My Aim Is True, This Year's Model, and Brutal Youth are really all the Costello this list needs. Anything else is just list-maker bias/overkill. He doesn't really offer anything too different or nuanced with each outing, just more of his same schtick. To be clear, it's a schtick I like very much. But I do think this spot could have been opened up for another artist easily enough.
David Ackles
2/5
Bruh, you're not Neil Diamond and you never will be.
Eminem
1/5
I don't even need to listen to this, I already hate it. And I don't need to go through the day with My Name Is stuck in my head. Granted, this album was huge and it ushered in a whole new era of white boy stupidity in the late 90's. Let’s be clear though, that was not a positive contribution to society by any stretch. I hated it then and I still hate it now. And Eminem is a garbage human being who can fuck off. He doesn't get any royalties from me. Not today, Satan!
Paul Simon
4/5
A friend of mine saw Paul Simon in concert a number of years ago. When I asked him how it was, he said it was a great show. But there was one part in particular that had a profound impact on him. When Paul Simon played “Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog after the War” a song my friend had admittedly never heard before, he said he cried. He said he had an incredible personal revelation about life, love, and humanity after hearing it. Having never heard that song before myself, I was curious and gave it a listen. And while I didn’t have the benefit of hearing Paul Simon perform it live, I did marvel at his poetry and the beauty of the song. No similarly affecting personal revelations or tears for me upon listening. But I love that story, and I love my friend. And this is why songwriters like Paul Simon exist, to inspire and inflame passions with their craft.
The Roots
2/5
Meh, it’s not for me.
Aerosmith
4/5
I like late 80's Aerosmith with the high commercial appeal gloss lacquered all over their music and image. They might be a bunch of lame ass geezers writing cheesy cornball songs, but they're fun. I can't deny that I have fun listening to them. And Joe Perry is absolute sex on wheels, so yeah... the thirst for Joe is also pumping up this score.
Tom Waits
3/5
I said what I said about Tom Waits already, twice before. It’s getting tiresome repeating myself. This is the best album cover of his by far, this photo with the title and font is perfection. Dark ruminations here, it’s a very philosophically intense album, but he needed to let that all out. I hope he feels better now.
Yes
2/5
Oh god, these nerds again but now with extra nerd flavour! It's still gunna be a no for me, dawg.
AC/DC
5/5
Fuck yeah!!!!!!
I was raised by a redneck mother who insisted that country music was the only kind of music worth listening to. I immediately rebelled against all her hurdy-durdy twangy cowpoke tunes by indoctrinating myself with every possible iteration of cock rock that exists. Van Halen, Guns 'n' Roses, Mötley Crüe, Led Zeppelin, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, and AC/DC became deities whom I worshipped in my early teen years. That paved the way to full blown 80's obsession, with a fun and funky detour into new wave art rock which eventually led to the grunge/alt rock/riot grrl summit where I found my sonic joy and forged my own true musical identity.
Even though this music is rife with horrific misogyny and the constant predatory objectification of women (which I do not support), the balls to the wall spirit of loud aggressive dissent is what resonates with me most. Hail Satan, and Fuck country music! If I could come back as a drinking, snorting, fucking cock rock legend in my next life I would. And we haven't even touched on the most amazing part, this album is a resurrection! Probably the greatest rock 'n' roll resurrection of all time after a front man dies. Bon Scott partied 'til the fucking wheels fell off and Brian Johnson took up the mantle to usher these boys into a new era, a better era arguably, that cemented their legendary rocker status for all of time.
I will also add that my dad was cool as fuck and he believed in ROCK. AC/DC was one of his all-time favourite bands. He passed away in June this year, and what would have been his 67th birthday on July 15th this past weekend was a very sad day. I'm still shattered by his passing. He burned brightly just like these lads, and burned out way too fast. When he was ill, I listened to this album on many of my drives to visit with him. For energy. That's what he always said AC/DC represented to him: powerful gut-punching energy. I'll love and miss my dad until the end of time and I'll forever think of him whenever I hear AC/DC. I hope he's able to grab a bowl of cottage pie and down a stiff scotch with Bon in his hereafter. I love you dad.
M.I.A.
2/5
I mean, Paper Planes had its moment in the spotlight, but is anything else here really worth listening to? I don't think so. A singular one-hit wonder from the late aughts does not an iconic album make. Sorry, but bitch, you basic.
Oh gosh, got into some googling and I see it's also M.I.A.s birthday today. What a horrible old witch I am to give her a bad review on her birthday LOL. Oh well, I said what I said and I listened thoroughly. I think her 15 minutes of fame were up a long time ago and this doesn't make a lasting cultural impression on me. *shrug*
Beastie Boys
5/5
Goddamned stone cold masterpiece and definitive album of the Beastie discography. A very important moment of maturity and growth for the Beasties where they shed the fronting frat boy nonsense that was very harmful to women. What an incredible thing for these guys to do, to own their mistakes and change their behaviour for the better. Amazing role models, setting a killer example for future generations of men on how to be secure in yourself and your masculinity without any toxicity. Bravo! And you know, these guys are just having fun being themselves. It’s such a joy to be a passive participant in it all. MCA forever, rest in power cool dude.
Jimi Hendrix
3/5
Props to Jimi for giving us the most perfect version of Bob Dylan’s All Along The Watchtower. And for shredding the absolute fuck out of his guitar in the most radical way. He’s just not my rock deity of choice. He’s a cool cat, I dig his sound, but I never seek it out.
B.B. King
4/5
This has been the worst year of my life. Every Day I Have The Blues is the most apt sentiment to describe the way it feels. Legendary.
George Michael
3/5
As I was starting this album up my husband asked “who’ve you got today?” And I replied, “I think you’ll be able to guess. If not by the first track then definitely by the second.” Partway through the first track he said, “I know who it is but I’m blanking on the name.” I wasn’t giving any clues. Then he said “it’s Beverly Hills Bathroom right?” And then we both laughed and laughed forever because yes, that’s exactly who it is.
But I digress. Overall, it’s a very bland album aside from Freedom 90, the supernova massive banger that we all know whether we’re fans of Mr. Beverly Hills Bathroom or not. I fucking love that song. But one banger doesn’t make the rest of this tripe engaging or listenable.
Guided By Voices
3/5
There’s a soft spot in my heart for Guided By Voices because of Blimps Go 90. A friend put that song on a bitchin’ mixed CD for me many years ago and it turned me on to this wonderful band. I dig it.
2/5
Meh. More like the Lexicon of tired 80s gimmick pop.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
3/5
Easy down the trail, pardner.
The Cure
3/5
It’s a beautiful, hot summer day and I am on vacation right now. I want to be in the sun, living large, chasing dreams! I don’t want to be sad and gothic. I like and appreciate The Cure, but this is not the vibe for today, it’s not meshing with my mood. No no. Too dark and depressive for my spirit to take right now. It’s more of a Cure greatest hits situation over here instead.
Morrissey
3/5
I love The Smiths and I like Morrissey’s voice, songwriting, and sad melodramatic shtick. But this is not his best outing. I don’t think this is a fitting selection for the list, even though it is of my tastes.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Ah yes, the oft spoken of blues roots of The Rolling Stones that I have genuinely never heard before. It’s fine, but I prefer their more commercially appalling rock bangers myself.
The Vines
3/5
Basic bitchery of the early aughts.
Goldfrapp
1/5
Nah bro. I’ve done my electronica DJ bullshit time already. No more. This is weak, weird crap that I don’t like.
Pavement
3/5
This should be something that I really love based on all my other musical tastes, 90's alt rock is my sweet spot after all. But I've just never really been into Pavement. I don't know, it's just lacking that something special that makes it standout to me. It was fine to listen to all the way through, but nothing struck me as exciting or fun. It was just kind of blandly there. I don't hate it, but I don't love it. It's a perfect neutral.
The Prodigy
2/5
The album cover is cool as fuck. Right on, crab man, you get yours! But I hate this music. It sucks so much. Rating a bit more kindly for mr. cool crab.
Talk Talk
5/5
This is a gorgeous and lush album. I’m quite familiar with Talk Talk’s heavily synth reliant pop hits, but this is a surprising and honestly very pleasing shift in their sound. I listened to it play through several times throughout the day and it got progressively more enjoyable with each listen. The album cover is stunning too, putting the art in cover art for real. A truly compelling album in a multitude of ways.
Coldplay
1/5
To quote the immortal Thorgy Thor: “Ugh, Jesus. Gross.”
The Thrills
2/5
Oh Jesus, now it’s Irish indie pop on a Friday, like damn dude. This project has my total commitment but I’m truly feeling let down by the horrendously disproportionate ratio of hundreds of nonsense non-special records to the very few and far between actual legit epic bangers. Something truly worthy next please?? Please!
The Soft Boys
2/5
I mean, whatever, man.
G. Love & Special Sauce
2/5
The special sauce is just ketchup and mayo mixed together.
D'Angelo
3/5
This debut is struggling to communicate one cohesive identity to the listener. Good thing his team figured out that he just needed to take his shirt off and make a thirst trap music video for the next record, otherwise he’d be lost in the shuffle and have contributed nothing whatsoever to the pop culture zeitgeist.
Robert Wyatt
3/5
At first glance this looks like some 80's new age hippie sleep meditation album used in daycares to make children take their naps. This will do me no favours on the first workday back after a long weekend if that's the case. I need motivation, not shleep right now. But you know, it actually brings a lot more uptempo groovy vibes that I expected. This Robert Wyatt character is a special kind of weirdo. Good for him.
1/5
The album artwork is so offensively bad that this record can't possibly be good. Yes, I am correct. This fucking sucks. It never stood a chance.
Christine and the Queens
2/5
Hmmm. 2010s French K.D. Lang vibes? Not for me.
Meat Puppets
2/5
I mean, they do their thing. But I’m not into it. I should be, it fits my sensibilities on paper. It’s just not for me. It’s not. I’ve always thought they were very meh and this hasn’t changed my mind one bit.
Stephen Stills
3/5
Yeah, man. Just yeah. Gimme all the generic white dude 70s rock. I’ve been in such a rut with this project, but this could be an uptick. It’s a bit too long, too many noodling tracks at the end, but it’s Saturday so whatever. You go, Stills, you go.
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
There are just too many different ideas here. Lyrically, it’s a lot. I don’t think I have the mental fortitude today to grapple with this one and go to those philosophical places that it’s urging me to. I don’t know, something about it is just inaccessible to me, there’s no joy here.
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
Troubadour! Chillin' with some Gilmore Girls! They plucked him from complete obscurity and gave him a humble space in Stars Hollow to occupy with his musical noodling and musings. It feels like a value bin CD from Walmart that I might have been able to get into in the 90's. But I'm too old now for this formulaic and manufactured "poignancy" to strike the desired chord with.
Dolly Parton
4/5
Album #700 for me! Holy shit!
It's funny this one is coming up today as I was just chatting with my two sisters yesterday about how we need to be a unanimous united front to take down the wicked evil trying to oppress us right now. Feels like some sort of divine intervention or message from the music gods that my assertions are correct - "The Power of Three will set us free!"
Also, Linda Ronstadt's hair and outfit is EVERYTHING on this cover. Major cowgirl serve right now, I am feelin' the fantasy!
Bob Dylan
5/5
I mean, obviously this is an easy 5 star record, if not for Like A Rolling Stone alone. That is possibly the greatest song written in the 20th Century. Lot of good contenders in that category, but Bob in his heyday really knew how to write about and speak to the human condition like no other. This whole album is effortlessly masterful but it's also a hell of a lot of fun! Bob's voice is perfection, his delivery is still folksy, yet rock infused in all the right ways. And I'm giving him props for his surly motherfucker attitude on the cover, too! Makes me laugh. This cantankerous looking little hipster so full of wisdom and soul, but ready to wield an acid tongue against any and all poser/scenester buffoonery. He's the GOAT for a reason. Love you, Bob!
Tom Tom Club
3/5
Dennis Reynolds loves him some Genius of Love, and I love me some Mariah Carey singing sweet sweet Fantasy baby to this beat!
The Fall
2/5
I mean, I was expecting a hell of a lot more witches. Meh.
Kings of Leon
1/5
Gross. Roommate was obsessed with this band and this album for all of the fall semester in 2008 and it was so overplayed in our house. I fucking hate Kings of Leon.
Astor Piazzolla
2/5
It’s tango, okay, sure. It’s not making me feel the happy tingly things I expect from the tango though. More bland than sultry, so it’s a bit of a letdown.
Dagmar Krause
2/5
Kinda hard to review something I can’t hear. I’m gunna go out on a limb and say based on the summary, I wouldn’t have liked this.
Kraftwerk
2/5
I know Kraftwerk are revered innovators of their genre, but I just don’t fucking like it. I can say that this is not for me, with confidence, because I’ll just never get into it. I do not want. Very cool album artwork though.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5/5
Oh fuck yeah!!!!!
I love Tom Petty. This album is a debut that definitely feels like a debut, but I love Tom so much that everything he does is phenomenal to me. Listening to him gives my soul the sustenance it craves. I love his songwriting, I love his incredibly distinct nasal twang, and I fucking dig his guitar playing. And American Girl is one of my all-time most favourite songs ever written; it's my go-to karaoke number, it's the best song to belt out in the car when you're cruisin' along by yourself trying to escape the doldrums of life, it's everything. I love you, Tom! I was so incredibly sad the day I heard about his passing. He's an absolute gem and I wish I'd had the chance to see him live.
The Cars
5/5
Let the good times roll, indeed! Another one of my all-time personal favourite albums. I fucking love The Cars and they are so underrated in my circles. This album is fun! But it’s also poetic and profound in its own special way. My god, Moving in Stereo is such a cool and innovative song, it fucking rules. You get good time party songs, a few deep reflective moments, and some awesome new wave vibes. The Cars only get better with each successive album, but they do an impressive job introducing themselves to the listener with this one.
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
I should like this, but I don’t. The overly ambitious concept and bloated track lengths make it quite a chore to get through. I appreciate the genre and the band’s contribution to the scene at the time, but I think there are much better albums in this vein that I prefer listening to instead.
David Holmes
1/5
Nope! I thought I’d gotten the end of shitty electronic music purgatory with this project but apparently not. This sucks and I hate it.
King Crimson
2/5
This always bears repeating: if you have ugly or off putting album artwork I will not buy your album. And I will judge your music much more harshly because of it. This is shitty psych/prog noodling that nobody wanted. There’s a reason they aren’t part of the pantheon of all-time great classic rock acts. Their shit doesn’t resonate so it has become obscure instead of fondly reminiscent of a different time. Begone! Back to the bottom of the value bin stack with you, King Crimson!
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
Okay, c’mon! Three fucking Dexys Midnight Runners albums on this list?!? That is too much!! They have 1 exceptional one hit wonder and the rest is pure shite. We’ve discussed this already, topic fucking closed now alright!
Finley Quaye
1/5
Ugh. Do not want.
Jazmine Sullivan
2/5
Honestly, it’s gunna be another no from me dawg. I guess Ho Tales is the vibe they were going for with this title, but making fancy or somehow less crass? Girlfriend looks cute in her outfit on the cover, but this music does nothing for me. Not the worst, but a far far cry from the best, that’s for sure.
Dr. Dre
1/5
Not my bag, baby. Just not my bag. I gave it a chance and then when it got to the track Deeez Nuuuts I knew I couldn't listen to a minute more of this absurdly infantile yet crass and misogynistic crap. Truly, look at the lyrics to that track. Cringe! This has not aged well and probably shouldn't have been recorded in the first place.
The Police
4/5
Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooo!
Love this album to set the tone on a Friday going into a long weekend! I dig the Police, something about their whole sound and vibe is hypnotically listenable. Is this the best they've ever been? Probably not. Is this the most groundbreaking record of their career? Definitely not. But it's fun and I like it. Nice break from the tremendous run of crappy albums I've had lately.
Shivkumar Sharma
2/5
The Valley called and I sent it straight to voicemail. Boring, boring album.
Joni Mitchell
2/5
The authors of this book do not understand how to select records for Canada. Like, yeah, Joni is a big deal. But you already have Blue in the mix. This is nowhere near as noteworthy. Sorry, but this shouldn’t be an inclusion, the spot should have gone to another worthy act from The Great White North. I’ll say it again and again until this list gets some goddamn Tragically Hip!!
1/5
Floored by the blatantly immature and ridiculous album title and cover artwork. Seriously, this is such a pathetically bad attempt at some kind of innuendo. I can’t believe actual music business professionals shipped this. And honestly, you’re gunna tell me the Limp Bizkit album that doesn’t have Nookie or Break Stuff on it is the one worth a damn? Fuck off.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Bob is always a chill time, good listen. Is this his best? No. But am I mad about that? No, absolutely not. Can find contentment here very easily.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Jesus Christ. As I just said a few albums back, there are other Canadian artists worth featuring on this list. Not every single album in Joni Mitchell’s oeuvre needs to be included. This one was a big commercial success, but I think Blue is the definitive work that sums her up perfectly.
I’m spending my day with The Hip instead. And I hope any non-Canadians that might read my review will follow my lead to discover some other wonderful Canadian gems.
King Crimson
2/5
More annoying psych/prog bullshit that ain't nobody got any time for today.
Dwight Yoakam
3/5
You think I'm gunna shit on this one too, don't you? Actually, I have something of a soft spot for Mr. Yoakam. He's a honky tonk man and he can't seem to stop. Even though this is very dusty trail corny cowpoke music, I know a lot of these songs because I was raised by a corny cowpoke mother, so there's some nostalgia at work here that lets me hear this with a kinder ear.
Napalm Death
2/5
I'm not opposed to metal, I like metal. I respect metal. Apparently these guys paved a lot of roads for other major metal acts, and good for them. But I do not understand how anyone ever heard this and enjoyed it. It's just so rough. And not the music, it's the shitty shitty production here. With a little bit more effort this could have been tolerable. It just feels like exactly what would happen if you gave a group of delusional 16 year old kids that just picked up their instruments for the first time 2 days ago free reign to record their "masterpiece". It's garbage. I'm saving it from 1 star because I do wanna pay my respect to these fucking nutcases for just doing their thing.
Gram Parsons
2/5
Just more boring white dude prog crap.
Pixies
5/5
Perfection! This is everything I want, and everything I need from an album. It’s edgy, it’s weird, it’s pioneering and has so much gritty profundity. The production is perfect, it showcases all the unique talents of this group in the most intriguing way. I get lost in these lyrics; they inspire exquisite heartache and tumultuous intellectual pondering in equal measure. Doolittle is a triumph of the most fucking awesome weirdo indie music that was cool for being indie long before indie was ever commoditized by late aughts hipsters and corporate record label tools.
This is my favourite Pixies album. I love every track, I love every riff, I love every guttural howl. It is magnificent.
KISS
3/5
This is a tough one. KISS is so cheesy, but they started out with a cool, badass concept. Gene Simmons is just the grossest, most immature person. His obnoxious opinions on music are laughable because he’s only just barely a musician himself.
This is probably the best KISS has ever been musically? I do love Detroit Rock City, that’s a great song. But the rest is just formulaic rubbish. I’m going to be kind though and split the score right down the middle because I did have some nostalgic fun while listening.
The Beta Band
3/5
The Beta Band are high on cool points with me because of Dry The Rain, that is a killer track. I haven't gotten into any of their albums or deep cuts though. This album was a pleasing listen. It didn't blast my tits off, but it was cool in it's own subtle and unique way. I can dig it.
The Last Shadow Puppets
2/5
Meh. The guys in the band are sexier than the music of the band. I think they’re stronger as individual sums rather than consolidated whole.
Eric Clapton
2/5
Oh god, I hate this insufferable prick.
N.E.R.D
2/5
Oh wow, this one’s got the Joel and Benji Madden feature on it. That tells you everything you need to know. This album is peak early 2000’s rap and emo dominance. You had to choose which genre was going to form the base layer of your shitty teen identity: rap/hip hop or emo. There were only two choices, and all of us were obnoxious and rude to our parents regardless of what we chose.
John Martyn
2/5
Oh my god, I’m so bored! Wasn’t one album from this guy enough? The monotony! The monotony!
Drive Like Jehu
2/5
Cover art is apt. This album is equivalent to a glue sniffing high - not very fun, but it's there.
The Mamas & The Papas
4/5
The dreamiest, most gorgeous harmonizing in rock n' roll history. This is a phenomenal 60's record, a true joy from start to finish.
Thin Lizzy
2/5
With cornball songs like "The Boys are Back in Town" they're about as dangerous as an overfed and declawed arthritic house cat.
Jerry Lee Lewis
1/5
No thanks. Stay away, creepy teenage cousin marrying pedophile.
Eurythmics
5/5
Certified BANGER! I fucking looooove the Eurythmics. They are the most 80's-ist thing of all 80s things and I truly enjoy everything about them. Annie Lennox is a goddess and I worship at the altar of her cool unbothered androgynous style and feminist badassery! I salute a legend and dance in her honour today.
Michael Jackson
5/5
This album pummels you with its non-stop barrage of iconic hits the whole way through. I have such a hard time separating the art from the artist when it comes to MJ. He was a born entertainer and he was breathing rarified air all through the 80s. Thriller is one thing, but then Bad comes out and blows everyone away all over again. 9 singles came from this album. 9!!! It’s a bloody impressive feat. Professionally, he was indomitable, untouchable. And I like these tunes; they are tightly woven into the nostalgic fabric of my youth. The scandals and personal life controversies are unfortunate. Does greatness just come at a cost? Or did Michael never really have a chance given his unorthodox upbringing? We’ll never know. But I do know anything less than a 5 star rating for this behemoth accomplishment is unacceptable.
Kings of Leon
1/5
Two entries for this crappy band whose 15 minutes of fame have long been over? Why???
Elvis Costello
5/5
Elvis ain’t fooling around - his aim is true. He shot me right in the sonic sweet spot. This debut album perfectly encapsulates who he is and why he’s here. I love it. The omission of Watching the Detectives for the UK version was not a smart move, but thankfully it was rectified for the US release. Great cover art too!
The Icarus Line
2/5
I hate this horrendous album art work. The music does not do anything for me, but it’s not terrible. I just don’t vibe with this.
The Who
2/5
This one is a bit jarring for me, it's not at all what I would have expected from The Who on their debut album. It's like they really don't know who they are, they just want to be famous so they've imitated a bunch of popular artists from the time; Beatles, Beach Boys, The Zombies, etc and called it their own. It's a bit too squeaky clean, preppy. Feels disingenuous and duplicitous somehow. My Generation is the one little nugget of burgeoning independent rock 'n' roll / punk gold in the dirty riverbed of pop+blues+rock fusion they're elbow deep panning. It's passable to listen to, but there's no cohesion. This does not give to the listener The Who in their best possible iteration, not by a long shot.
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Amy sure had one hell of a voice. I wasn’t a fan when she was actively recording, mostly bc Rehab seemed like such a cheesy one-hit wonder kind of deal. I still don’t like that song. But then one day I heard Back to Black and realized there was real talent here. This album is her best work overall, and despite Rehab’s annoying ear worm quality it is a major part of her legacy as an artist. Rest in power, Amy.
The White Stripes
4/5
I did not appreciate The White Stripes at all during their heyday, but I sure do love them now. They've stood the test of time as a fantastically talented and offbeat duo who are worthy of all my long overdue praise and appreciation. It’s a great listen, I’m into it.
The Residents
2/5
Bizarre. Maybe something that could grow on me, or maybe something that could force me to claw my own eardrums out if I listen too long. I don’t feel like finding out today though because I just don’t have the listening fortitude to do so.
The Rolling Stones
5/5
This is my all-time favourite Stones album, it’s the best they’ve ever been. Granted, Brown Sugar hasn’t aged well at all, but that song exists within me on a cellular level after hearing it thousands of times before ever cluing into how utterly abhorrent the subject matter is. This album plays through with such effortless rock n roll cool, it’s such a banging good time, you can’t help but enjoy it. And Dead Flowers is one killer track you don’t want to sleep on! It’s just perfection. Swagger off the chats, fuck yeah, it’s the 70s!
John Lennon
2/5
John Lennon is so overrated. He’s the worst Beatle and this album is so mediocre.
Astrud Gilberto
3/5
This sounds exactly like the interior of an Anthropologie.
Tom Waits
3/5
More of Tom’s same weirdo offbeat stuff, I dig. Very cool album cover, love the vibes it projects. I wish that was my life was nighthawking it at the diner. Looks like a fun bunch.
Blur
4/5
Not really my bag, but Boys & Girls is a respected banger of course. I do think this is probably Blur's best work. I didn't mind it, 90's Blur is a different kinda mood, one that doesn't exactly resonate with my youthful 90's days as much as other artists did. Respect for a great album cover, and some very influential work produced here.
Mj Cole
2/5
Oh look at that, another nobody English artist I've never heard of... *yawn*. I don’t care for this. It’s way too 2000s.
Anita Baker
3/5
Anita is packing some killer pipes! Although this really isn’t the kind of thing I go for, I respect the talent. It’s a mellow listen, but worthy.
1/5
Ummmm yeah, so that just happened. I feel like my eardrums were violently assaulted by crap and will never be the same again. Sucks so bad. No wonder everybody else hates it too.
The Cult
5/5
I fucking love this album! I'd really only know She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult and never got deeper into the catalogue. But damn, this was a real tour de force! It gives you non-stop rock and a snarling badass delivery of it to boot. Killer record, man. The Cult rules! I'll be listening to this one again and again, added to my regular rotation.
Shack
4/5
Oh! Another surprise! I quite like this and haven't had a great track record being accepting of unheard of Britpop acts while doing this challenge. But yeah, this is hitting that sweet spot of melodic and aimless hipster tunes with subtle quirk that I do fuck with, very much. Yeah yeah, getting into it. Me likey.
Emmylou Harris
2/5
I mean, okay, Emmylou, after an illustrious career in music, you've got some clout. You're a serious singer-songwriter and you've been through some shit. But, like, I'm just so bored, man. This is the album that launched your career and it's full of covers?? I just... yawn. Sorry gal, respect and all that, but do better next time please. I want to hear who YOU are, not your version of who everyone else is. I am disappoint.
Roni Size
1/5
Drum and bass, the soundtrack to my own personal hell. I cannot emphasize enough how much I hate this inane drivel.
Magazine
3/5
Is this the creepiest album cover yet? It just might be. Friday the 13th and this is giving me the willies. But what's actually hiding within?
Oh okay, this is a quirky little oddball delight. I don't mind it at all! I respect the bizarre, I appreciate the offbeat. This is a groovy little gem.
Elvis Presley
3/5
This inclusion feels like completely unnecessary lip service being paid to the king. I mean yeah, he made his mark on the rock n roll landscape, and he sure was handsome. But this isn’t his most important offering, none of these tracks are iconic Elvis songs in my opinion. It’s fine, it’s an enjoyable listen, but to me, it’s taking up the space a better album could be occupying.
The Chemical Brothers
1/5
Blerg. More electronic garbage. I didn’t like that one track from The Chemical Brothers that made it onto the Much Music Big Shiny Tunes 2 compilation in 1997, and I see nothing has changed the further into their world I go. They suck through and through.
Soft Machine
1/5
Half the album isn’t even on Spotify and what’s left is entirely too long and tiresome to listen to. I really can’t stand tracks that run on longer than 5 minutes. This is a real chore.
Van Morrison
4/5
Uh oh, now I’m in conflict! I hate live albums but I love Van Morrison. Hmm, what to do what to do? I dig his songs, I’m into it. I really wish it wasn’t live, but these are my jams so I’m grading for that.
Koffi Olomide
2/5
Hey, that papa boner track was kinda fun. But this is pretty much just all-inclusive resort background pool music. Also, this album cover is a real vibe! Co-worker pointed out that it looks like someone was mid photoshop on his pants because they’re so white lmao.
Happy Mondays
3/5
It was fine. I liked it better than the previous Happy Mondays album I was given early on in this project. But I won’t seek it out or put it on again of my own choosing.
Mudhoney
3/5
Obviously influential on all the grunge artists I love, but I’ve never explored them or felt compelled to. This was alright. I should like it more than I do on paper, but maybe I’m just too old now to discover new grunge.
Barry Adamson
3/5
I can see vestiges of entertainment here, sure. Good title for the album.
Tortoise
2/5
Meh to the power of meh squared.
Iggy Pop
5/5
Aww, now there's the lovely smile of a charming young man whose parents supported and believed in him! Warms my heart. I frigging love Iggy, he is a precious gem and one of the all-time great rock icons. He is absolutely worth a million in prizes! This album is perfection, and every track is a killer. There's the big bad rock persona/attitude packaged in peppy poppy instrumentation and composition; it's just such a deliciously sweet 'n' sour combination that tickles and fizzes in the most delightful way as I guzzle it down with greed. Tight run time, excellent production, branding so on point it's effortless, I just love everything about it. This is what happens when you put such a winning combo (Iggy and Bowie) on the job. Well done, lads! Well done, indeed!
Peter Gabriel
5/5
In Your Eyes is a triumph and masterpiece of a song all on its own, but then the rest of the album has the nerve to be incredible too! I loved it. An 80s pop + rock + new wave prog trifecta of excellence. Right on, Petey.
Ravi Shankar
3/5
I know Ravi is revered and respected, an influential musician who had a profound impact on some of the most important popular artists of all time (hello, Beatles!) It was fine, not my cup of tea, but pleasant enough. I just don’t have a keen enough musical ear to appreciate the work for what it really is. Acknowledging that, I think it was fine, but it didn’t blast my tits off with awesomeness, so I will rate accordingly.
Throbbing Gristle
1/5
Oh my god, fuck this shit so hard! No wonder everyone hates it!! Absolute, complete and utter nonsense. Straight up sonic torture. Frankly, it should be avoided if you'd like to keep on living and enjoying albums. This should be on the 1001 Albums to Definitely NOT Hear Because You Are Not Missing Out At All list. Jesus Christ, how could you let this happen? I'm holding you personally responsible for this.
Rufus Wainwright
3/5
Alright, I guess they do know that other Canadians exist aside from Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and Leonard Cohen. Not much of this appeals to me, it’s just too over the top melodramatic and pretentious, but I can appreciate that he is a real artist; someone who writes his own music and is a skillful singer-songwriter. I do feel sorry he has such a bastard man for a dad. Seriously, read the Wikipedia on Loudon Wainwright III, what a trash bag excuse for a human being. Poor Rufus. He had no choice but the become a musician to make sense of himself and his world.
Venom
3/5
In case you hadn't heard, it's blaccckkkkkk metaaaalllllllllll!!!! \m/ \m/
Public Enemy
3/5
I'm not an expert on rap by any means, and I do prefer mine to be of the cheeky and insouciant or shockingly self-aware satiric variety, so this is just a bit too austere in its intentions for me. But I do respect artists with something to say, especially those using their music to advocate on behalf of the marginalized, disenfranchised, and oppressed. So even though this album isn't about Fighting the Power, it is about Bringing Tha Noize and I can get on board with that.
The Style Council
5/5
Ooo right from the first track I was very into this! Fuck yeah, I'm here for all the funky jazzy keyboard noodling and fun the Style Council has to give!
Oh wow, okay left turn. This is such a diverse album in and of itself. Another left turn! And another! Wow. It should feel like an uncomfortable mishmash of moods and styles that give you whiplash with the constant change up track to track, but you know, somehow it WORKS! I enjoyed every second of this strange fun journey, and I loved not knowing where it was going to take me next. I don't know how they fused and melded so many different vibes into this thing without it feeling like a cloudy confusing clusterfuck. It's absolutely brilliant. I love it, will be listening on loop all day today. Great album, flawlessly crafted.
The Sabres Of Paradise
1/5
Ugggh really? Electronic gibberish on Halloween?? That sucks. This sucks. Although I will say, this is a striking album cover! I do like it quite a lot. It had me geared up in antici pation, for some Rocky Horror like good times spooky tunes. Quite a letdown on what it actually holds inside.
I'm going back to my friend's haunted halloween playlist which kicks way more ass than this. It's Def.Con.One...
Big Mac, fries to go...
Big mac, fries to go...
Get me Big Mac, fries to go...
Get me Big mac, get me fries to go!
Sonic Youth
4/5
It's short, but it sure ain't sweet. As a person who enjoys Sonic Youth and has enjoyed them well before starting this album generator project, I like listening to this album. Tom Violence is a favourite and standout track for me. But is this album the best reflection or representation of Sonic Youth as artists and musicians? No. It's still hard to imagine that this came out in 1986 though, damn. They really were innovators leagues ahead of their time. I'll always tip my cap to the outcast misunderstood weirdoes who buck the norms and find their own ways to be themselves against the grain of societal expectations. Well done, chums. I'm glad you exist and I'm grateful for the tremendous influence you've had on modern music.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
As clichéd and overplayed as the title track Let's Get It On has become, it is one hell of an iconic song. It really made it's mark on modern pop culture. The rest of the album is great too, with tight runtime and excellent production, Marvin's vocals really are the star here. It's a great album, from one of the greatest R&B/soul voices of a generation.
Radiohead
1/5
Yuuuuck. Let this be the last shitty Radiohead album that I need to put up with. Pretentious poseur douchebags.
Fairport Convention
2/5
More boring British hippie dippy tripe from this sad sack lot. The album cover is an artless assault on my eyes too.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Damn, young Bruce looking like brooding and enigmatic snack on this cover! He’s at his highest growling and raspy peak here. The songwriting is phenomenal, the lyricism is endlessly intriguing, and it’s paced perfectly. This is an album you can sit with for several rotations before it’s full and impressive impact is felt. I love this one, the Boss is a powerfully talented dude. Respect.
U2
5/5
A lot of people bitch about U2 and rag on them, but I am not one of those people. I grew up listening to their music, and I unabashedly like them. Their songs slap. The music is beautiful, the lyrics give you something deeper, something more profound than the average "oh baby I love you" crap a lot of other artists churn out, and they have a higher sense of self-awareness and purpose than other acts do. This album is a cornerstone of their persona as a band and it showcases the way they use music to bring attention to important socio-political issues. I like these lads, and this is one of the most important albums in their discography. It’s also the crucial creative juncture before they reached critical mass and became too formulaic. It's a good listen, I like it a lot and I recommend people take off their shitty "it's so cool to bash on U2" blinders so they can give this album an earnest listen.
Dead Kennedys
3/5
I have conflicting feelings about the Dead Kennedys. I am a lover of proto-punk, punk, and hardcore punk of all types, but I'm also choosy about whose act I'll buy into. I truly appreciate how so many divergent UK + US garage acts all coalesced the spirit of disenfranchised rebellious youth with music to forge the genre; giving voice to the angst and anger felt by a generation seeking an outlet that could not be denied or ignored. Very into all of that and so grateful for the doors these intrepid early innovators opened.
That being said, I've only spent a cursory amount of time with the Dead Kennedys. Had a lot of friends in high school that liked them, and repped their patches on backpacks. I love the lyricism, they give you something smart and biting to consider on almost every track. But their sound isn't as appealing to me as other punk acts. I love the goofy, zany, craziness of the Ramones. I adore the sneering yet wry style of The Clash. These guys just don’t have a similar kind of draw for me. There's something readily listenable about their music that I do vibe with, hard. And while I've enjoyed listening to this album the whole way through today, I don't feel overly compelled to spend more time with these guys. I respect what they've contributed to the scene, I like their sound, but I'm not gobsmacked mad about in any way. It checks a box for me. And that's fine.
Robbie Williams
2/5
Immature ramblings of an entitled and obnoxious 90's fuckboy. You get the point after one 3-minute long idiotic chest-beating song, and yet he continued on for a full 52 minutes and 46 seconds. The only redeeming moment is Angels. A moment when the douchebag veneer is cracked, and a human person shines through all the other shit on this album. I will give him credit for doing the work of actually writing these songs, not a lot of pop acts contribute anything to their "work". And you know, he was hot. Pop superstardom has been achieved by uglier ducks than him, so the ego is par for the course.
Sidenote: ugggh, I hate "hidden" tracks. What a waste of time and space. I hate that this became such a popular thing to do in the CD era.
American Music Club
4/5
Spotify does not have this album, I hate that. Had to listen on Youtube which cut up the flow with stupid ads every so often. Despite that, I quite liked this album! It felt like a perfect blend of indie/alternative with little splashes of country and blues throughout. It did not feel like an album from 1988, that's for damn sure. This could have very well been released in 2010 or 2014 instead and it would have fit right in. They were either lightyears ahead of their time or genuine time travellers who decided to go back to the 80's to enjoy life again at a simpler time and just chill, making music. And if that's the case, please SHARE YOUR BACK TO THE 80'S TIME MACHINE WITH ME!!! I wanna go too.
Stan Getz
3/5
Some real smooth yet saucy sax going on here. I’m not mad at it. Best with a piña colada at the all-inclusive resort for one week of the year.
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
2/5
The embodiment of "meh". No mopey sad bois on my Saturday. Album cover is gross too. I can see why people weren’t buying it.
Pere Ubu
2/5
I can see why this one is rated so poorly. It’s a bizarre attempt at music, and yet, there is some inept charm here. I’m not gunna bash on it because so many people already have and I do admit that I found moments that piqued my interest. But overall, I really won’t be seeking it out again.
5/5
I was prepared coming into this one to say that this is a completely unnecessary inclusion on the list. I love Bob Dylan, no doubt about that, but I feel like he already has tons of representation here. I hate live albums, though this one does have excellent production quality, and after a couple of spellbinding numbers, it dawned on me that this is the closest I'll get to hearing Bob live in concert. Live and at his most impressive pinnacle. I love the songs, I love the music, I love Bob, so there's no need to be stingy and caustic with my grading when my heart and soul know they'll take any form of Bob they can get.
Miles Davis
5/5
Miles's Magnum Opus. What can I possibly say that hasn't already been said by people with far more jazz expertise than I? I'm just a plucky tone deaf lover of music who has no musical competency whatsoever. All I can tell you is that as a listener it feels right. There's a correctness in what I assume my ears are hearing. His renowned improvisational spirit fusing so wholly with his virtuoso proficiency; a true thing of beauty in its most pure form. I don't know jazz, but I know greatness when I hear it.
Cyndi Lauper
5/5
This is a glowing neon beacon of everything fabulous and fun about the 80's! This whole album is killer, it's just super fun party times from start to finish. It seriously plays like a Greatest Hits compilation. I know all of these songs by heart, big fan of Cyndi and love what she brings to the table. Her strangeness and authenticity are so endearing and effortlessly charming; it doesn't feel as manufactured as everything else at this time did, which is a triumph in its own right! They did a real slick job commercializing her, BUT she's still so tangibly real to me, I respect her artistry. You've got the anthem for party girls, an ode to masturbation, the emotionally stirring Time After Time... damn, Cyndi! You came out swinging loud and proud, a bold and brazen weirdo, my kinda people. And the end result is a remarkable debut album. Love it. I wanna keep on having all the FUN with you!
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
It’s fine. Never really got into these guys. I don’t think this listen has changed that got me. I say a little meh for you and then I move on, to greener pastures.
Grateful Dead
4/5
I love The Dead, but I’m not into live albums as I’ve mentioned. But this one is a bit more than just some live recording of some concert some time ago. It is a beautiful time capsule of a bygone era. I understand it was a quasi-religious experience to see The Dead live or even give up a conventional life altogether to follow them on the road. That is so fucking cool, and I would have loved to be a carefree Deadhead hippie had I been born in the right decade to do so. Instead I’ll have to settle for lighting some incense at home so I can vibe to Jerry and the boys from the confines of my inflexible normcore life while considering what is and what might have been.
Merle Haggard
3/5
It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a vintage country legend - a classic twangy voice with lots of embellishing drawl telling tall tales about a romanticized cowboy life that every hick within a 1000 mile radius thinks they understand on a deep profound level. It’s not unpleasant, but it is extremely corny and outdated.
The White Stripes
5/5
I fucking love My Doorbell. The White Stripes can ring it all day long if they want to. They are at peak weirdo rocking powers here and I dig it. This whole album is a delightful journey of jarring noisy rock oddities that just work; the sum is greater than all of the parts.
Isaac Hayes
4/5
I gave in to base desires and allowed all this hot butter to wash over me, carrying me away on a greasy stream of fatty indulgence. Mmmm, butter. For an album that only has 4 overly long tracks, something I would normally hate, I enjoyed it a lot. It's oddly concise, somehow. 1 star per track seems fitting.
The Byrds
2/5
The Byrds really don't need to be on this list as much as they are, and this is probably their most bland album yet. Meh. No more Byrds please.
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
A lot of really accomplished people in this band I've never heard of. I guess you had to be there, or better yet be British, as with so many things on this list. It's alright, I don't mind the innocuous indie like soundscapes they're created. No hate, no love, just listened and moving on now.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
I love Neil, and this is a good album, but it's a bit too country/twangy for my taste. I prefer it when Neil is giving us the business by ROCKING. Tonally and lyrically there wasn't much that moved me on this one, I guess I just generally prefer his 70's sound over this. Love the album name and cover art though.
Marvin Gaye
2/5
No thank you, my dear. I'm not interested in listening to the desperate self-pitying ramblings of a divorced man after it's already too little too late. Musically, it's what I expect from Marvin -- his voice is emotive and powerful as always -- but thematically it is such a turn off. This album cover is creepy and off-putting too. This is not the vibe, not at all. I can see why it was a flop on release.
Pantera
5/5
Now this is a metal album! Reee-SPECT! FUCK YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
I love everything about it, top marks! RIP Dimebag, you were a guitar god and you deserved better.
Beatles
5/5
The Beatles at their poppiest, most consumable peak. Love or hate them, this is a landmark album for music in the 20th century, period. It’s a masterclass in commercial appeal and branding; they courted a global audience, they wooed the pants right off all of us with such finesse, and ultimately they struck solid gold paydirt, on which they built their vast musical empire.
Maxwell
3/5
I went into this with rolled eyes, prepared to hate it because R&B is just not a genre I care about at all. But I'm pleasantly surprised, and am actually finding this to be such an enjoyable album to kickstart my Monday morning. It is helping me get into a very focused and productive zone, and lulling me into a more laissez-faire mindspace. Thank you, Maxwell, for this time in your hang suite, much obliged!
Otis Redding
5/5
I've loved Otis Redding since the 7th grade when I first heard the song "Love Man" in the movie Dirty Dancing. I didn't have internet back then, much less Shazam, so it was a bit of mission to find out what that song was and who was singing it. My mom has such a narrow acceptance of music, eschewing all other genres aside from hur-dur country cowpoke tunes, so she was no help at all. I chased down the Dirty Dancing soundtrack and was dumbfounded when I didn't hear that deeply emotive and soulful voice I'd been seeking on any of the tracks. And then, months later while watching "Pretty In Pink" for the first time, I heard that voice again. That iconic scene with Duckie lip-syncing to "Try a Little Tenderness" and he says afterwards "this is Otis, I love Otis" and I was finally onto something! I then ordered the Pretty In Pink soundtrack through the Columbia House subscription I had to open in my mom’s name because I was underage with no credit card hoping I'd finally have a proper answer, but lo and behold, I was thwarted yet again. How could this amazing singer whose music had been used in two iconic 80's movies, for two seminal scenes not be on the bloody soundtracks?? I was 12 and didn't understand the complexities of music rights and royalties, so it was a mystery to me.
Then, as luck would have it, I was gifted the second soundtrack compilation, "More Dirty Dancing", for Christmas the following year. I cruised through the tracks and there it was! "Love Man" by Otis Redding. I finally had an answer! From there I was able to seek out his music and I fell more deeply in love than ever with Otis. If he released an album of himself reading the Encyclopedia Britannica, I would have spent all of my allowance on it. Because Otis has one of the greatest voices I've ever heard, and his songs inspire so many feelings; he's a profoundly affecting artist in my life. Top marks always for Otis. RIP a legend, one of the greatest to ever do this damn thing and one of my greatest ever musical discoveries from my formative listening years.
Soft Cell
2/5
There is absolutely nothing erotic whatsoever with this try-too-hard attempt to be edgy and sexual. I had to quit at Sex Dwarf, what an asinine track that was. I just felt so disgusted listening to this crap. And here's my dilemma: I LOVE their version of Tainted Love, it is the best ever cover of that song. But one shiny one-hit wonder amidst a sea of poorly executed synth soaked shit does not an impressive album make. Fuck these weirdo assholes for making this crap, I'll never be able to listen to Tainted Love joyfully again.
Bert Jansch
3/5
Haven’t I had this one already? Déjà vu I guess.
Bert is perfectly competent as a musician and songwriter, but nothing really stuck with me after three rotations through the whole album. I guess my heart just already belongs to Bob Dylan, he's my guy for 60's singer-songwriter folksy rock. You alright though, Bert. I'm content that our relationship is simply ships that have passed in the night.
Tears For Fears
4/5
Are they brothers or are they lovers? To this very day no one knows! All we do know is that this photo on the cover was a real choice and this album houses the best songs of Tears for Fears entire career.
Klaxons
3/5
It feels like music that was created to support tense, "time is running out" moments from a movie. And maybe that's exactly what they were going for. The near future is coming and it's not going to be pretty. Might be a bit of a backs against the wall, time is running out kind of a situation in the end. There's a manufactured urgency here that I've gotten swept up in. It feels more current than 2007, but maybe Klaxons are just really that good at sorcery.
The Dictators
3/5
I love every single thing about this incredible fucking album cover. The album itself? It’s a bit of a mishmash, but it’s got potential. It sounds like a demo I would have loved to help refine and polish up a bit had I been a music executive in the 70s with the means to do so. Some cool ideas here, but they haven’t been executed well enough to give this band a leg up.
George Harrison
5/5
Finally! The best Beatle, the one who has the best solo catalogue and is the best person, is being gifted to me today! Oh how I love George, and I’m so happy this band broke up so he could flourish artistically. John was an oppressive and abusive glory hogging prick, who could have learned a lot from George’s songwriting were he actually capable of all the peace and love he facetiously touted. Side 1 and Side 2 of the original release are absolute perfection! All of my favourite ever George tracks are here. But he didn't stop there, poor man was sitting on a deep well of creative energy that wasn't being tapped. This is his magnum opus, and it is a rare gem, a true sparkling beauty. Rest in power, George! You were a massive talent and what your music will always have a special place in my heart.
50 Cent
2/5
\"Go shorty, it's your birthday\" is arguably one of the most iconic lyrics of the early 2000's and it's paired with what is one of the most recognizable beats of all time now. It certainly created a major thumbprint on our young and impressionable suburban brain grooves. And how many of us poor put upon millennials strained our optic nerves eye-rolling at every boomer joke about 50's name. Uncle pulls two quarters out of his pocket, \"I got the new 50 cents for you right here, hyuk hyuk.\" It has contributed to the cultural zeitgeist, there's no denying that. But was this my first choice of music growing up, or even now? Absolutely not! Is the rest of the album worth a damn? Absolutely not!
Bee Gees
2/5
What was the goal for this album? Was it taking a bunch of sweeping emotional ballads and singing them in the most dispassionate and robotic tone possible? The cognitive dissonance I felt listening to "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" being sung by a presumed cyborg was staggering. And the ships on the cover, what's that all about? Nobody knew what the fuck they were doing on this one, they had no idea who they were and what kind of audience would appreciate them. We, the people, want our shiny pants, cocaine and dancing!!! Disco is the Bee Gees lane, and I'm glad they eventually found their lane.
The Cure
5/5
A gorgeous gothic dreamscape of sound and emotion. A defining moment for the Cure, but also a defining album for the genre.
Public Enemy
3/5
I respect the intention and meaning of this album, and I can appreciate its place in musical history. But I don't enjoy listening to it. Not a rap fan, just a personal preference. And also, this music isn't for me, literally it is not meant for me - a white middle class woman - as a consumer, but the themes of disenfranchisement and systematic oppression resonate. And they should resonate with everyone. I raise my fist in solidarity and salute as an ally for all racially oppressed and marginalized people of society and I offer my support for continual progress breaking down the insidious racial barriers that threaten prosperous and harmonious unity for us all.
#blacklivesmatter
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
It's always such a theatrical experience listening to Nick Cave, and I find his voice incredibly compelling. Though I might not be tempted to seek this out on my own, I enjoyed this quite a lot. After a few loops through it I felt so absorbed in this whole wretched and dramatic world. I'd love to see a movie full of all these characters and their sordid tales. This album cover is *chef's kiss* brilliant too, it represents this full package of ominous and chilling songs perfectly.
Hookworms
3/5
Ew. I hate this album cover. We’re not off to a great start. That intro on the first track was rough, but I’m glad I stuck with it. This album got much better as it went on and wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d assumed based on this incredibly unappealing album cover. Very much a 2018 record.
Missy Elliott
3/5
Very telling that the intro track on a female rapper's debut album in the 90's is named for and about a man 🙄
The bullshit misogyny Missy must have put up with in her early career, until she was proven a valid independent artist, my god. But she's tough and she has succeeded on her own terms, much respect to Missy. This may not be my preferred genre, but I can appreciate what she's done to open doors for so many other women in the industry and in this very sexist niche of it to boot. She is a powerful feminist icon, and I respect the hell of out her. I'm happy to see that she gets the final spoken word on this record.
John Cale
5/5
Ooo I was excited for this one, but also a little apprehensive based on this title/album cover. But I know my boy, John Cale of Velvet Underground fame, is a musical innovator and creative genius. So I put my trust in him. And I am not disappointed at all! I am loving this album! The first track was very peppy and uptempo, it immediately put me into a happy, excited mood of anticipatory eagerness for every coming track. This is such a joyful and delightful journey, I wish I could hear it again for the first time! It's a gift I want to keep unwrapping. I can't even describe how much I love the intentional dissonance between the musicality and the thematic lyrical content; this is absolutely delicious and I have savoured every bite. John Cale is criminally underrated, I'm in awe of him. This is a masterful exploration of his solo talents and I'll be spending a lot more of my time with it. Adding into regular listening rotation!
The United States Of America
1/5
This is complete drivel. It should be forgotten and ignored as has been decreed by the court of public opinion. They weren’t successful because they suck. And it’s okay for us to say that. We don’t have to assign merit or importance to something just because it’s old and it existed. I had to turn it off, couldn’t get through it. Sonic garbage that hurt my ears.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Oh fuck yeah! Not usually a fan of double albums, as brevity is the soul of wit and all that, but when it's Zep - oh man! Enough is just never enough, y'know? This whole album is just so fucking good all the way through, there's no sonic thumbprint more iconic and recognizable than theirs. I love the album title and artwork too. Physical Graffiti might be one of the best album titles of all time, it inspires such a visceral reaction. This is just top notch, top FUCKING notch. Oooooo yeh yeh, baby!
Nirvana
5/5
Nirvana is always a 5 star rating for me. This album is a pent-up release of poisonous hateful thoughts and raging frustration, but it's also a sardonic middle finger to the masses who gave Kurt exactly what he wanted, to breathe the rarified air that only those who attain superstar iconic fame do. As the old adage goes, be careful what you wish for 'cuz you just might get it. A lot of people feel Nirvana is overrated and overplayed, but to me, they will always be my musical nervous system; reaching into all areas of my form and able to elicit pleasure or pain depending on how it hits. Kurt was a troubled man, but a brilliant artist and musician. I will always respect that, and I often wonder to myself how the 2020's would have sounded to him were he still around and making music. If only he'd been able to evolve and get help for his painful personal shit. RIP, Kurt - you were a gift and I love you.
Eagles
5/5
This album is ingrained into my soul because of my dad. I grew up listening to it countless times. And I like it, it feels like a pair of shoes worn in just right. But it’s also the best the Eagles have ever been, this is the song and album most associated with their name. It’s their most iconic record. The songwriting veers into cheesy, sappy territory too often, but it’s impossible for me to neg on a core sonic memory that will always remind me of dad.
The Psychedelic Furs
2/5
I was looking forward to this one because I love the song Pretty in Pink, but I was disappointed to find the remainder of this album a cacophony of noise. Too much dissonance in the sound, too much faux punk attitude. I just… I feel letdown I guess. Thought this would be my jams, but alas, it is not.
Foo Fighters
5/5
I think this might be the most vulnerable and raw Dave Grohl has ever let himself be publicly. I love the Foos, but this album is different than the rest of their catalogue. Dave had a specific perspective and moment in time that informed all of the songwriting and instrumentation. You can’t think about or digest this album properly without the context of Kurt’s suicide and Nirvana’s end. This is Dave making a choice to regroup and carry on. This is about reflection, rebirth, regeneration, and survival. This is Dave saying he’s not done being in a band, and he’s not going to hide himself away behind the drums anymore. He’s coming into his own and he’s got a lot to offer creatively. Knowing the Foos as deeply as I do, I feel that this is really the only time we listeners get to peep behind the curtain of Dave’s generally goofy and optimistic persona, to glimpse the unmoored young man dealing with devastating loss and uncertainty about his future. He’s on the precipice of transformative change and his art reflects that. It resonates. I think those factors allow me to score this higher than I would, given that there are better Foo Fighters albums that I as a fan gravitate to. But I can’t help marvelling at the way Dave worked through the shit and decidedly carved a new legacy for his name. This album helped him shed his old life and step into his new one. And it’s a solid listen all the way through.
Scissor Sisters
4/5
This is probably how WHAM! would have sounded in the early aughts were they given the freedom to be openly, flamingly gay gay gay.
Ian Dury
4/5
This is as British as British gets! I feel like I need to pound an IRN BRU and pop on down to the pub, see what's doin', maybe have a nosh and try grafting the barmaid a nice lookin' bird. Absolutely cracking! Chuffed with this record.
Spiritualized
1/5
Fucking space rock. Is this genre really so important that it requires more than one album of representation on the list? I hate this.
Justin Timberlake
1/5
Oh I am so not listening to this sonic garbage. Heard way too much of it in high school against my will when it was all the little Britney and Xtina clone wannabes were forcing on me through speakers in gym class, at dances, over loudspeakers in the hallways as “hurry up, get to class” muzak. So I can confidently say it is bonafide crap. Plus, I hate this smug, smarmy asshole for all his male privilege and toxic behaviour towards women. Jessica Biel, you gotta drop him like a sack of dirt, girl. Not gunna be giving this talentless little prick a royalty check in my watch.
AC/DC
5/5
This album is so fucking rad, simple as that. Highway to Hell is the most perfect statement of dedication to ROCK that there ever was or has been. It’s the informal codification of the principal rock ‘n’ roll ideals that anyone who chooses to dedicate their life to rock stardom must uphold. Iconic album cover, iconic music. This may not be the best AC/DC has ever been, but nobody listens to them for flawless technical execution or groundbreaking lyricism. We listen to them for vicarious badass thrills and to feel fucking unstoppable! We listen to them to get hyped up, to play our ridiculous air guitars with abandon. We listen to them for fun and they always deliver it to us. Fuck yeah. Hail Satan, listen to AC/DC!!!
Frank Ocean
3/5
I mean, there’s stuff on here that people obviously like. But not me. It just doesn’t do it for me. Billy Ocean is more my scene. Nice to see a positive and proud LGBTQIA+ artist thriving in the R&B community, which to my knowledge has been quite a misogynistic, sexist, and toxic landscape for a long time. Respect to Frank for using his art to express himself and speak his truth.
Joe Ely
2/5
Ugggh! Honky cowpoke music for Christmas? When did I pick up the zoink gift in the White Elephant exchange? Gross. This is not what I wanted. I had my eye on that Rumours album as a special holiday treat. Foiled by Joe who-even-is-this?? Ely though.
The Black Crowes
3/5
The Black Crowes really want you to know how hard they are. Even Kenny G up front there.
In seriousness though, this is just your basic nothing special 90’s rock. I like some of these songs, but they’re not my favourites. It’s just part of the 90’s soundscape; old shoes I put on when I’m taking my household trash out to the bins.
Parliament
4/5
The GOAT of funk music in my opinion. Parliament lays their funk on thick, yet smooth. Mousse-like. You know exactly what you’re getting and it’s exactly what you wanted. Give Up The Funk is arguably the most iconic funk song that ever funked. This album is celebratory and proud, it’s fun and funky, and honestly, it’s just a whole ass vibe. It is a revelation to its genre. The only thing I dislike is the bloated track lengths. Which I know is common for the genre, I just appreciate brevity in music more than exploratory, jamming loops.
Stephen Stills
3/5
Hmm. I don’t much care for Stills without his pals Crosby, Nash, and Young. It’s not a complex or nuanced album, it’s just basic soft rock. I’ve always low key hated “Love the One You’re With” too, the only song from this album I’d been familiar with previously. It’s not a great song, and it’s an even worse sentiment or suggestion. This listening experience was neither net positive or net negative to my musical expansion. Neutral.
Pearl Jam
5/5
PEARL JAM HIGH FIVE!!
Right on, this is exactly what I needed today. This is one of the top albums ever, for me. My favourite. Top 3 of my life. It is endlessly listenable to my ears. I could stay here a thousand rotations and hear something newly fascinating, nuanced, or emotionally stirring each time. Black has got to be one of the best, if not THE BEST song ever written. A truly underrated gem.
Tangent: Omg Eddie Vedder was so sexy in the 90’s! Sensitive, brooding, with a glorious mane of hair and piercing eyes. His voice - thick, deep, gravelly, but controlled and powerful when harnessed properly. He’s my dream man. I’d give anything to lay spread out before him, being taught everything he wants to teach. To be the star in his sky that all five horizons revolve around… *le sigh*.
Even if you’re not carrying the desperate and aching torch for Eddie that I am, you can hear that this album fucking rules. It’s hard, it’s gritty, it’s angry, so so angry. It’s hectic at times but also tender and soulful in an angst-fuelled way that only a brazen new genre of music and its accompanying lifestyle ideals could be. This album is perfection. Perfection!
Red Snapper
2/5
They did not please me, they did not satisfy me. Their aim sucks.
Black Sabbath
2/5
Might be the most basic Sabbath album there is. It’s a decent enough listen, but there’s no new territory uncovered here and not any Sabbath staples to keep the momentum up.
Marianne Faithfull
3/5
This old slag does have a wizened rasp to her voice that I enjoy. I’d never heard any of her songs before and I always assumed she was just another deluded rock groupie. I fell down a bit of a wiki rabbit hole learning more about her and I’m glad to know that she was more of an artist in her own right than someone who traded sex with Mick Jagger for fame. Decent listen, but not awe-inspiring.
The Everly Brothers
2/5
I used to love listening to the golden oldies, my Oma always had them floating up out of the small white Casio she kept in the kitchen, running all day long while she cooked, baked, and cleaned. And The Everly Brothers were a regular fixture on the AM oldies station. Maybe I've gotten too cynical as I've grown up, or maybe I'm too woke now to listen to these songs and take them at face value. Songs I gave little to no consideration now sound steeped in misogyny and sexism. Girls were made to love, subtext, they were made to be objects of physical pleasure for men and dominated then discarded when no longer "pleasing". Love is a waste on you, subtext, I got the milk for free and now I'll not be buying this cow. Gross. Love Hurts might be the only decently written song because it doesn't expound an expressly male or female viewpoint.
This is a tough one to rate. The music is pleasing, and harkens back to a different time, there's a lot of nostalgia rolled up into this music for me. But the whiney "nice guy" lyrics have overshadowed all of that for me. Maybe without ever knowing it, this is why I've always preferred the Beach Boys.
Metallica
2/5
This is not my preferred listening experience for Metallica. This is jarring and oddly fused in the worst possible way. My ears, mind, and soul reject everything about this. It's like I'm trying to listen to Metallica while my husband is watching a movie using the same sound system for the audio at the same time as me. These two disparate layers of sound are not complimenting each other the way everyone involved in this project convinced themselves they were. I'm glad Metallica are open to exploring other avenues of their artistry, but like dude, nobody wanted this. And it's over 2 fucking hours loooooong. Omg. It was painful. Respectful 2 star rating because I love Metallica and can't bring myself to 1 star them, even if this is the stupidest album concept and execution I've ever experienced.
Sepultura
4/5
Ahhh, just what the doctor ordered! An hour-long, metal-fuelled existential crisis to start my Thursday. They were really going through it for this one. I actually quite like it, the music is relentless and punishing, complimented perfectly by the guttural growling vocals. It's exactly what I want when I want to head bang my blues away.
Iron Maiden
3/5
The metal continues! This is the most straightforward, foundational metal you can get. It’s concise too, each track drives home the point with efficiency. Thematically and lyrically, there are no surprises here, just met expectations. I dig it.
Underworld
1/5
😐
I hate electronica. We’ve been over this already. Boooo urns!
Van Morrison
5/5
Excellence! This is one of my all-time favourites. 5/10 songs on this album are the best songs I’ve ever heard. I fucking LOVE this album. Love it. Van Morrison has one of the most unique and engaging voices I’ve ever heard. He sings like a soft summer breeze wafting over a meadow, but he looks the toad hopping through it. I love this album end to end, but I hate what a garbage human he is. Ultimately, I’m rating this one with my ears, not my ethics, so it’s a clear 5 star victory. Iiiiiiiiii wanna rock this album loud, just like back in the days of old. And sail into the mystic…
Big Black
3/5
Couldn’t get it on Spotify, very annoying. I may need to revisit and change rating at another time, but for now I’m neutral in it.
The Auteurs
2/5
Ummm, in theory I should like this more than I do. O but here we are!
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Quintessential Bruce! He’s bringing the heat, he’s bringing the intense songwriting and storytelling combo that makes him magical, and he’s peak 70s sexy before his big 80s rock hard butt revival. Loves it!
The Pretty Things
2/5
Oh god, how much more of this 60’s English rock do we need?
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Fantastic album! Elvis does exactly what I expect him to do, and that’s also exactly what I want him to do. I don’t think this album has his best or catchiest songs on it, but the whole set of tracks is so sonically pleasing and cohesive that you get wrapped up in it. End to end it’s a delightfully quirky journey I’ll always be glad to go on.
TV On The Radio
3/5
I didn't enjoy it as much as their other album on the list, but it delivered more of what I was expecting and I'm happy with it. This is not generally my genre of choice, but I could listen without any qualms and would be likely to listen again.
Prefab Sprout
3/5
I enjoyed it, but it did run a bit too long. Just sort of generic mid-80s Brit pop, nothing groundbreaking or innovative to my ears. Cool vibes, but not a wonderful new musical discovery.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
I like Peter Gabriel, but the album So is way better than this, so I don't think he needs 2 solo inclusions on the list. Solsbury Hill is a classic, I do really love that song, but again, as a whole this album offering isn't as strong as So. At one point I almost thought I was listening to a Randy Newman album instead, with the way he really slipped into a whole different persona on the song Excuse Me. There's lots of experimentation with the artistic identity presented, which leaves me feeling like there's something undone with the overall packet. This is fine, but it's not exciting enough to keep me coming back. I do love this album cover too though, it's gorgeous.
The Adverts
3/5
This project has conditioned me to expect that any album cover or artist name I don't recognize will be British, and oh would you look at that, this one is exactly that, British. This album cover is a goddamned eyesore. It failed to make an impact when first launched, and only when looking back did critics give it any of its due. I like 70's punk, and this fits the bill, but it's a bit too little too late for me to ever hold it in the same regard as The Clash or The Ramones. Meh.
Talvin Singh
1/5
*sigh* this is some bullshit. "The world is sound" ohhhh wow, so profound, such amaze!! /s
Are we at the point yet where we can admit that the music that really matters and is most representative of our daily lived human experiences is simply pop music? The music that has broad range appeal, that gets endless radio play and imbeds itself seamlessly into our collective cultural consciousness. It's cool to discover new things, but at the same time if aliens came down to our planet and asked the average person to play them the most amazing music we as a human race have, would anyone choose this album? No. I truly believe that no, nobody would think of this first and say "oh man, have I got just the thing for you! Classical Indian Electronica!" NO! I suppose the journey of exploration and understanding how music evolves combined with how artists innovate in the space is what this project is all about, but the constant cognitive dissonance I experience with the concept of "so good you MUST hear it" + "meaningful impact on music as a cultural medium" is insurmountable some days. Today is one of those days. More Stones and Creedence please, less ridiculous genre fusion bullshit for the sake of it.
Goldie
1/5
Omg another record of hot smelly garbage. Just a complete waste of my time.
Dinosaur Jr.
2/5
I absolutely despise this album cover. Hideous eyesore. Music should be something I like but I just don’t. It’s a big meh for me.
The Police
4/5
This is an excellent album, I've always loved The Police. There's something about Sting's idiosyncratic vocals that is so compelling to my ears, he has a quality in his voice that is so strange and aberrant but soft and pleasing too. Near perfect. My only negative is the Mother track. It was just creepy and uncomfortable, it didn't fit well with the rest of the tracks. I do wish someone had suggested binning that one and filling it's spot with something more melodic instead. Otherwise, this is peak Police and I live for it.
Funkadelic
4/5
Very annoying that this cannot be found in full on Spotify. Chased it down eventually and was glad I did because this is the kind of funk that needs to be heard, that needs to be appreciated loudly and happily. I felt united by the groove and believe we can achieve sonic harmony together.
Bob Dylan
5/5
I've already gushed about Bob a few times here, so I'm not going to chew my cabbage twice or thrice, or even quatrice. I love this man, I love his music, I love his poetry. So many of the songs on this record are staples in his prolific catalogue. He's a genius, simply put. He's a 5-star man.
The KLF
2/5
Somebody please, KiLF me. I hate this shit. Cool album cover though, they nailed that part.
Snoop Dogg
3/5
Snoop is a legend, and I love him as a larger than life personality. Motherfucker is so cool. But I'm not a hip hop fan, this was never my music of choice. Gin and Juice is a classic, but I can't stand all the ridiculous skits and spoken interludes. The women speaking seductively, and groaning over the top is so cringe. This album cover is awful, so juvenile. 3 stars for Snoop being cool and all, but that's as generous as I can be.
Gotan Project
1/5
Gross, dude.
The Undertones
4/5
Oh yeah, this is the good stuff! Late 70's pop punk ftw! Really good listen, you get exactly what you expect to get. I'm a satisfied customer today.
Giant Sand
3/5
I appreciated some of it, I always like to listen to acts that do things a bit differently, go against the grain. There's some interesting lyricism here, but overall this isn't my kind of "weird".
Dizzee Rascal
1/5
My god. This needs to stop. It was such a chore to listen to this drivel.
Peter Gabriel
2/5
More Gabriel?!? C’mon! The amount of records some artists have is just so ridiculous. We heard So and that is all you need from solo Gabriel. I don't care for his try-too-hard experimentalism. I prefer when he swims in poppier waters. Meh.
The Damned
4/5
Right on, I am so into this! Classic 70's British punk, sign me up. I've looped through this album 5 times already this morning and it gets better with every rotation. To be fair, it is quite a short album, but that's what I love about punks, they cut to the quick. "I Just Can't Be Happy Today" still holds up today lyrically and thematically. So much of the instrumentation, specifically the guitar on songs that are more meandering is reminiscent of Sonic Youth. I'm sure The Damned were an influence on their sound. I really like this record a lot!
The Young Gods
1/5
Torturous listening experience. The creepy carnival tones of the opening track put me on edge right from the start and the gravelly grinding discordant vibes continued to unnerve me throughout. It's just a french NIN + Rammstein mashup that I do not like.
Kings of Leon
1/5
Omg more Kings of Leon?? I hate this band. The selections for this list really do need to be reigned in. My god, this band was a flash in the pan with their whole sex on fire schtick and that’s all they’ve ever accomplished. Peaked early and easily forgettable. Next!
Brian Eno
4/5
Just what I needed today! This album is a special little gem. Brian Eno is hit or miss for me, but he is undeniably talented. I didn't care for the Ambient Airport stuff, but I find this a much more satisfying blend of soundscapes and whimsy. There's a dreamy quality to these songs that is warming and engaging, rather than cold and impersonal, which I find some of his more experimental music to be. Nicely done on this one, Eno! I dig it.
Linkin Park
3/5
These guys were not my scene, but they were huge at the peak of my teen years. I did somehow end up seeing them in concert, in 2014, on the Carnivores tour with 30 Seconds to Mars, and they were entertaining. This was a nostalgic listen, and actually the first time I’ve listened to one of their albums all the way through. It’s fine, but still not my jam.
The Young Rascals
4/5
Classic good time Sunday tunes. I was raised on this music, it just feels good and welcoming. Groovin’ is a way of life.
Black Sabbath
3/5
It's a cool vibe, no issues with this. It's a debut that definitely feels like the band has an idea of what they want to be, but haven't yet figured out or settled into their personas. It's obvious they're working on the recipe, but haven't discovered the exact makeup of their secret sauce just yet.
I'm not a Sabbath fan specifically, but I've been a classic rock radio listener all my life so I know the hits. I can confidently say that I've literally never heard any of these songs before. From what I know of the band, this album feels like it was very much a vehicle for a shit ton of Geezer's occult and fantastical lyricism. They're onto something, but this isn't a wow moment for me.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
Can't deny she's got some real pipes, but she's not my diva.
Slade
4/5
These greasers know how to have a good time! I like this strange Zeppelinesque/Beatles/Stones inspired ripoff thing they're doing, and they've given it a little sprinkle of Sabbath for good measure. The dude with the bangs fucks. He's a picture perfect vintage 70's rocker archetype that brings it all together. I like this a lot.
Nightmares On Wax
1/5
Nightmare is right. This is horrid.
Neil Young
4/5
It’s Neil, and I’ve already talked about how great he is several times throughout this project. He’s great, he’s prolific, he’s our man! This album is essential listening. I just wish the list maker knew that Canada’s music scene and contribution to the world is more than just Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and Leonard Cohen. We have Bryan Adams too y’know? Hello! Hahaha omg j/k. He sux. But The Hip, BNL, The Guess Who, Bruce Cockburn, BTO, Blue Rodeo, Sloan… I could go on and on. I just want anyone who reads this to do a bit more Canadian musical discovery than what’s been selected to represent us on this list. We love Neil, we live for Neil, but there’s so much more than Neil.
BTW - this isn’t my favourite of his, but there’s lots of staple songs to enjoy here. It’s been a pleasant revisit for a Friday listen; it has wrought the existential paradigm shift I didn’t know I needed today.
Pavement
2/5
I just can’t get it up for these guys. They’ll have to wank themselves. Meh.
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
2/5
This is not at all sensational. It’s just some 70’s junk I’ve never heard before. Send it back to the $1 record bins and call it a day, don’t waste your time trying to find merit here.
Dusty Springfield
5/5
Fuck yeah, Dusty, sing it girl! She is the OG bad bitch of pop music and this debut is full of all-time great pop staples sung the Dusty way! The voice, the style, the ballin' take no prisoners attitude. I love her. She's a strong Aries woman, like me, so game recognize and respect game. We don't ever let men tell us what to do. It's a damn shame she lived in such a closed-minded closeted time, but she was a fighter and always true to herself. She was fierce and fabulous, the two things I love best in a pop diva. Icon!
Eagles
4/5
I know lots of people wanna be funny and hate the Eagles because the Dude does. I get it. It’s a funny quote, I’ve said it lots of times before myself. But honestly, my dad loved The Eagles so I know them very well and their music is uniquely nostalgic to my childhood. But also, this record is a good time. The lyricism might be kind of cheesy and cornball, but I’m not hating on it. It still fits so comfortably after all these years. An old pair of shoes I’ll never throw away.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
2/5
Over 2 hours of hurdy-durdy tweedle twangy country??? NO. After the first hour I got the point, thanks. These guys are so niche it hurts. They're fine enough musicians, and they're doing their own thing not hurting anybody, but I simply don't have the required personality or constitution to enjoy this music. Hard pass.
Sidenote: did people just not know how to edit a track back then?? A huge musical pet peeve of mine is "skits" or "candid" behind-the-scenes chatter during the recording process becoming part of the song. It is so fucking stupid to do that. I don't need to hear how you're gunna make the record, or hear a lecture on how to record the tracks from some old hillbilly in the 70's. They think this is charming and listeners want it, but we DON'T. "Oh we'll have so much fun feeling like we're part of the recording process. Yayy!" NO. Nobody wants that, just sing your fucking song and get a usable recording of it.
Robert Wyatt
3/5
Gentle nerd art rock that maybe I do want.
Van Halen
5/5
Yusssss!!! All hail our sexy 80s gods, the Van Halen boys and David Lee Roth. And that other guy, I guess. Fuck yeah! I had this CD in high school and I listened to the absolute hell out of it. This record is an epic tour de rock force that slaps you in the face with its big meaty dick and makes you beg for more. I love it. I FUCKING love it!
Nick Drake
5/5
Hauntingly beautiful, this is his best album. It’s such a pity he wasn’t appreciated much in his own time. It is impossible for me to separate what I know of him and his death from my interpretation of his lyrics, so perhaps I see poignancy that wasn’t really there. But ultimately, if the artist can evoke a stirring reaction from the listener, it doesn’t much matter how they’ve done that, does it?
Mudhoney
3/5
I get why Kurt liked these guys.
The Associates
4/5
Oh okay, we’ve got some kind of Scottish U2/Cure mashup here. I like this. I am picking up what they are putting down, and I’m liking it a lot! It runs on a big too long, but it’s such a unique vibe, I wanted to see where it was headed.
Side note: Omg! I wrote this before reading the wiki on this band and there’s an ex-Cure member in it!!! Freaking Dempsey on bass, man oh man, my ears know what the fuck is up!
Supergrass
2/5
Generic Oasis wannabes. Nothing particularly original or special here. It's not bad, it's not good, it just is. This is the second record I've had by this band though, and this one is indistinguishable from the other. They certainly don't need 2 entries on this list.
The xx
2/5
Not much of an improvement on the last album from this band I had. More mehcore crap.
Simply Red
3/5
Wow. That album is way more of a party than little orphan Funkhouser on the cover implies. I'm glad he's not sucking record executive dick for fame anymore. Sounds like he went through some dark times for a while there. But he persevered, made it through, just a boy with his jazz hands and hope. Good for him.
3/5
It was fine. This era of Blur is the one I think I can enjoy the most. Some cool songs, but nothing that made my ears perk up. Chemical World was a recognizable track, that beat is the epitome of Blur (song 2 aside), and I felt the fantasy for a moment.
Tim Buckley
2/5
Ugh not this gross womanizing deadbeat dad again… *eyeroll*
YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME AND BEEN A PROPER FATHER TO BABY JEFF, YOU PRICK!!
This douche is the inferior Buckley. He does have a nice voice, but I hate his music.
Lambchop
2/5
This is a perfect example of the British authors not understanding anything at all about North American music. Total snoozefest. Never heard of this, don’t know anyone who listens to this artist, they are not on our airwaves. I could barely tell one track from another. It was just so bland.
Doves
2/5
This early aughts indie thing just doesn't work for me. It didn't then, and it still doesn't now. I have no specific problems with this record other than it's just boring. There's nothing exciting or different here. None of the songs had anything musically or lyrically for my ears to enjoy. It's all just thoughtful sad boi on his guitar schtick, and that whole thing has always felt so contrived to me.
Caetano Veloso
3/5
Oh my god. Is this guy gunna crawl out of this album cover and murder me??? Who told him to pose that way for his album cover photo? What an interesting marketing strategy…
I am happy to report that his music is way more upbeat and fun than his appearance. With a concise 34 minute runtime, this album gave me just the right amount of Brazilian charm this morning.
Circle Jerks
2/5
4 songs in 15 minutes?!?! This is absurdity! Well, actually, I guess this is anarchy. Time is relative though when you're listening to this one. What should feel like a quick punky jaunt, is actually a protracted session of sonic chaos. I respect the intention here, but there's nothing for me to latch onto. Maybe I would have felt different if I'd experienced this album in real time, as a young angst fuelled miscreant who could throw themself into the scene. But that ship sailed long ago for me. It's ironic that the album is titled "Group Sex" which implies a mutually gratifying experience, yet these punks just used my ears and tossed me out after with little to no regard for my pleasure. While there are some relatable little nuggets of thought here like “the whole world is up my ass” (man, ain’t that the truth!), this album is simply a frenzied snapshot from a bygone era.
Destiny's Child
2/5
The cognitive dissonance I experienced listening to Bootylicious followed immediately by two bitch tracks dissing some other woman for being trashy and telling her men don’t want no “hot female” is truly staggering. I don’t know how you can so proudly declare that you’re women of integrity while scantily dressed and simultaneously slut shaming other women. The early 2000s truly were a hellscape razor’s edge of double standards and internalized misogyny that was impossible for women to navigate. The message from Destiny’s Child seems to be a jarring mashup of “do as I say, not as I do” and “it’s empowering to use your sexuality to make money, but ONLY if you’re in Destiny’s Child. Otherwise, you trashy and you need to get some clothes on girl”. This album is saved from a 1-star because it tried to be empowering, Independent Women is an anti-goldigging anthem that resonates, but hypocrisy abounds and the message became muddled quickly.
Michael Jackson
5/5
Oh my fucking god, it's finally happened! I've landed my white whale!
Untouchable. Flawless. Immaculate. The absolute pinnacle of musical success. This album is a juggernaut that could not, and still cannot, be defeated. It permeates every layer of our global pop culture consciousness and cemented MJ as THE greatest pop artist to do the damn thing, EVER. His legacy may be tarnished, controversial, questionable. But his talent is undeniable. This album is perfection top to bottom, through and through. It is the template and the foundation on which all pop music hereafter was built and imitates. Regardless of how you feel about Michael, this is a 5 star album. It is a soaring achievement and the single most glorious moment responsible for kickstarting the golden epoch of pop music through which we still live and breathe. Bow down, mere mortals, and pay tribute to our once shining King of Pop in recognition and thanks for his benevolent rulership of the airwaves.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Impeccable. The high watermark of their career. This album is a triumph, a masterpiece, a magnum opus. It is a must-have staple for any record collection. I’m utterly delighted I got to have it for my 900th album!
Elton John
5/5
This is Elton’s most glorious masterpiece. And just like him, it is unapologetically too much. Too over the top. Too ostentatious. Too extra. That’s just who he is. It’s what we want, it’s what we expect of him, every time. I like Madman Across the Water better as an album, but I cannot deny this record, what with its smashingly huge and undeniably iconic signature songs, it’s due place in the sun.
UB40
4/5
I was prepared to write this off as more generic UK trash, thinking this was going to have Red Red Wine on it and then a whole load of other useless shit. But damn. I was wrong, and my expectations were shattered! This is an amazing reggae album. I'm blown away by the musicianship, the socio-political lyricism, and the cool unique flavour of it all. Well done, lads! Proved me wrong straightaway. And I'm a better person for it, so thanks.
Common
3/5
Wow, a mid-2000s hip hop record I could actually get to the end of! This might be an unusual record for the time because it isn't full to the brim with braggadocious peacocking or the toxic masculinity/misogyny one-two combo punch so prevalent in the genre. There's some overly descriptive sexual content here, but it's not so far out of line or blue as to be vulgar. Common comes across as much more mature than his peers, and a more thoughtful lyricist. I appreciated it. There's always an exception to the rule, and Common is that sexy exception.
LL Cool J
2/5
Wow, that was really something. And I don’t mean that in a complimentary way. It was really something embarrassing that I want to move on from and forget as soon as possible. Does LL ever listen to his old music and cringe at how stupid most of the lyrics are? He's out here talking about hip hop raccoons and jiggling hoops, gnawing hedges, sick of leftover curry... like, what??? This album is just chock full of bizarrely stupid rhymes. I guess when you're built as big and tough as LL, you can say whatever you want in an intimidating voice and nobody will question it. He is sexy though, successful careers were built on less than that.
Coldcut
2/5
What’s that noise, you ask? Oh, just another load of trip hop electronica shit. Yeah, we’re moving on.
GZA
2/5
Nothing about this whatsoever appeals to me. The struggle is real today.
The Incredible String Band
1/5
This is just a whole jumble of crap. These poor people in these tragically ugly clothes forced into the woods for this horrible photo. I hate this.
Kate Bush
5/5
This Woman’s Work always gives me chills when I hear it. It is profoundly moving. I’m not familiar with Kate’s full catalogue of work, but I think this might be the most accessible and enthralling she has ever been. Hounds of Love was giving me life too, but this album is an ethereal ghostly beauty that captivates and arrests my attention. The soundscape created here is lush, emotional, and airy; I love this side of Kate, she’s brilliant at creating fully realized sonic worlds where listeners can luxuriate in the splendour of it all. Top marks!
Ozomatli
3/5
I want to like this more than I do, but the longer it went on the more it just reminded me of the salon I used to work at for my summer job where the owner insisted on playing Latin music ONLY. She did this because she believed it put people in more of a "spending" mood. Meanwhile, I can't tell you the number of complaints I got over my summers there from actual regular customers wondering why the music was always the same and always lame. Oh and by the way, her version of "Latin music" was Lou Bega, Aqua, and 3 mail order purchased 90's Samba CDs. The sound system was a 5 CD changer boom box and those were the only CDs ever allowed to be played in it. This album would have been an improvement to all of those CDs - and yet, my past sonic trauma is still triggered by this sound and style. I listened, I was surprised by how peppy it was and I bopped a bit, but I won’t be coming back again.
The Darkness
5/5
The high octane hair rock revival of my dreams! I fucking love this album. It is a party the whole way through, an absolute gem. Did not expect to see it come up on this list, but I'm so glad it did. It is just pure, unadulterated FUN. There's a magical blend of silliness, camp, funkiness, and stank on it that just takes me there. Right fucking on, man. I love it.
David Bowie
5/5
This is an endlessly cool record. Bowie is doing his Bowie thing in all his unfettered glory and I live. The more you listen to it, the better it gets. This is just perfection, end to end. What a magnificent sonic journey for the heart, soul, and mind.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
What you're hearing here is the totally rad, yet dulcet tones that emanate from the underbelly of 80's pop music. It is criminally underrated and unappreciated by the collective global recall of the 80's. Drowned out by too much neon, spandex, leather, and hairspray. And yet, still sitting at the cool kids table. Just the cool kids table at a school you've never heard of or knew anyone from.
The Saints
4/5
I love this! And I've never heard it before! Wow, this is such a treat for a Friday. I love 70's punk rock, so I'm slipping into this one like a warm, welcoming bubble bath after a long and exhausting day spent dismantling the patriarchy from within. We don't get a lot of Australian music shipped up to Canada and these guys were probably completely overshadowed by the NY and British punk scenes at the time, which is likely why I've never heard of them until now. But so much of this lyricism resonates with me, especially today. The only thing I dislike is the horribly off putting album cover. Not punky enough, and too shitty, it’s not helping the band look appealing.
Ray Price
2/5
This isn’t the kind of night life I want. Too twingy twangy for my tastes. I much prefer to air guitar some Zeppelin covers from the dance floor that are being played by a bunch of awkward misfit goons. Rock the fuck out til I can rock no more then stumble down the road for some 2am pizza. But hey, that’s just me. Some other people might prefer to get their rocks off in front of a voyeuristic cowboy creep. And more power to them! Also, this album cover is equal parts alluring and creepy, and it’s really throwing me off how simultaneously compelled and repulsed I am by it. That’s a rare feat in this game.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Ah yes, the iconic Zeppelin debut album with the aggressively phallic imagery on the cover! Not only a literal depiction of the band’s name, but also a powerful visual indicator signifying the triumphant arrival of first gen cock rock to the world at large. They’re here, they’re powerfully virile, and they’re ready to go at you all night long! You get exactly what you expect from it and you immediately want to spin it again. It’s a perfect debut album; the voice of a bold and defiant newcomer screeching onto the scene, here to show off their musical prowess the likes of which we’ve never seen, but without any showboating. A magnificent introduction to the most revered of all the Classic Rock Titans.
Tricky
2/5
I know there are some snooty reviewers out there who hate reviews that just say “meh.” But sometimes things are meh and meh is the only fitting word to describe them. This album is one such meh thing. Meh.
The Human League
3/5
First listen: this is just a bunch of random 80s crap with a great one-hit wonder at the very end.
Second listen: I like 80s stuff, I’ll let this play through again while I work.
Third listen: maybe there’s more than meets the eye here? Is it DARING?
Fourth listen: nah, it was fine and listenable. But it’s nothing special.
Fifth listen: no thanks, I’m going to put on some 80s Bowie now instead.
The Dandy Warhols
4/5
I prefer Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia, but I like the Dandy Warhols a lot, so this was a great listen for me today. I love their whole indie, smartass slacker vibe. Good tunes.
PJ Harvey
3/5
Cohesive and mellifluous, a surprising change of tone for a PJ album. I feel like the other albums of hers I’ve listened to have been intentionally discordant, so it was unexpected to get something more tame. But I liked it. I was caught up in the vibes, digging it a bit, up until the last track. That one just didn’t feel like it fit properly with the rest of the songs. Suddenly choral and jangling, it threw me off. But, overall this was a very chill listen.
Chicago
2/5
I was really digging this until that atrocious and torturous Free Form Guitar track. Jesus Christ. What a sudden and jarring departure that was from the playful lounge act schtick they were doing up until that point. The first half of the album is a fun swinging time, but the back half really falls apart. The track lengths are bloated and overindulgent at times too. This album is good at the foreplay, but then it leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to actually getting down. And I do mean A LOT. Yikes.
Fela Kuti
4/5
Outstanding musicianship. A great album for working in the kitchen, chopping veggies, roasting something, and just doing some leisurely paced tinkering. That’s how I listened to it, and it fit beautifully with that scene.
Weather Report
3/5
I’m not a sophisticated jazz listener, but I’m assuming what my ears are hearing is the most reviled jazz subgenre, 70’s prog jazz fusion? It didn’t upset me, but it didn’t excite me either. Props to them for going balls to the wall on the album artwork and concept though. It’s both startlingly literal and insanely absurd at the same time.
Screaming Trees
2/5
I love grunge, but I never got into this group. Time to see what they’re all about I guess.
And yeah, that seems about right - there’s nothing standout here. It’s basic. Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam all did it better, harder, and grittier than these guys. Also, the 44 minute listening time felt way longer! I found myself thinking “alright, this has gotta be close to the last track now” and I was only halfway through. I just didn’t enjoy slogging through this one. Not for me.
The Beach Boys
5/5
Fantastic! A phenomenal record, it is an unbridled delight to listen to for my ears and soul. Every track is great in its own way. This is the crown jewel achievement of Brian Wilson’s delicate musical genius. Truly revolutionary and unlike anything else ever recorded before. It’s a masterpiece. All killer and no filler, just like Brian wanted.
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
2/5
I'm sure this has already been said, but goddamn, ramblin' is an apt description for this guy! An album from the 50's that's over 30 minutes in runtime is an outlier, that's for sure. But this guy just loves to talk.
Cons: all that fucking rambling and hurdy-durdy cowpoke music that sucks.
Pros: He is looking like a real cowboy snack on this album cover. And he's had a prolific career. I have tons of respect for that.
But would I ever put this album on again or dig deeper into his catalogue? No. If you've heard one of his rambles, you've heard them all.
Elis Regina
2/5
It’s flavourful, but not of a flavour profile that I crave.
Dion
3/5
‘Twas fine. But I do prefer the Runaround Sue golden oldies version of Dion better than the John Lennon wannabe version.
Bad Brains
2/5
It just doesn’t have anything good going for it. I really tried to like this one, but it’s too disparate and incoherent. There’s nothing musically interesting or particularly talented to be found here.
Baaba Maal
1/5
This album sucks. I honestly tried, but this doesn’t have the heart and excitement of a Fela Kuti outing. And that has become my gold standard for international records. Sorry Baaba, but we’re just not compatible, you and I.
Wilco
5/5
Oh I do not like double albums at all. They always feel like such bloated, self-indulgent and unnecessarily protracted outings for the artists. Like they just think their shit is THAT good, straight fire that cannot be contained or condensed. Ugh.
Well, I'm happy to report that in this case, I fucking LOVE this double album! I was a bit worried it'd be too long-winding and brooding; one ceaselessly navel-gazing whinge. But there is so much fun to be had here! Lots of uptempo tracks and rocking guitar to get into. This is a great vibe. I knew a little of Wilco before this, but always kept them at arm's length. This is the most accessible they've ever been to me. Really love this album, looping it several times today.
Ms. Dynamite
3/5
More authenticity and merit than you'll find on any Beyonce or Taylor Swift album. While this isn't my preferred genre for listening, I can respect the strong messages and badass rebellious spirit projected through these songs. She's breaking the mold and railing against the trauma of her past to show other women of colour how much strength and perseverance they have within. I respect the hell out of that.
Sepultura
4/5
Heavy as fuck metallords and social justice warriors! I needed this today. I'm looking to find my bloody roots again and triumph over the dictatorshit in my own life, and this unrelentingly powerful metal fuels me to keep pushing ahead in my quest.
The Youngbloods
5/5
This is such a groovy record, I am loving it. I'm certain I've heard some of these songs before but never knew the band. I probably assumed they were just some Eagles or Animals deep cuts. I can see myself, a passenger in my dad's '79 Oldsmobile, watching the world roll by as we cruise the backroads on a sunny summer day. Maybe we’re going to get ice cream. Maybe we’re going to get groceries. It doesn’t really matter where we’re going, I just love that we’re together and the radio is playing such great tunes. This record helps me prolong this sweet reverie, it’s an unexpected conduit to happy memories, and I still miss my dad so much since he passed away last spring, so I’m going to keep idling in this one for a while.
The Fall
1/5
Oh my god. This crap makes the cut but Weezer’s Blue album doesn’t??? I can’t with this shit today.
Sleater-Kinney
5/5
YES!!!!
This is the album I should have been given yesterday on my triumphant last day at a thankless job working for a dickhead boss that I hate. And I am finally free!!! And this is the perfect soundtrack to coincide with my liberation from all the bullshit.
This album is rad. It’s badass. It’s balls to the wall shrieking vocals and guitars that pierce your eardrums and skewer your soul. It’s so fucking good. It’s way more divergent, daring, and unique than its peers. A subversive wailing voice that gives me life. I love it.
The Coral
2/5
If you’ve never heard of it before this challenge then it’s guaranteed to be British. Annnnd yup! British. Now the toss up on if it’ll be iconic, moderately listenable, or absolute tripe. Ding ding ding! We have another hot steaming pile of absolute tripe! Thanks for coming out and wasting my Sunday.
It has no cohesive identify that I can latch onto. Who are you trying to be Coral? You can’t be Jim Morrison or Eric Clapton. Those dickheads already exist.
4/5
This album is a good time, maybe a bit too indulgent on some of the track runtimes. But it's funky music that I can totally groove with. This album cover is everything though! God, I love it so much. It's such an impactful image that perfectly encapsulates the overarching themes and message of this music.
The Teardrop Explodes
2/5
More Britpop crap nobody ordered or wants to keep.
The Doors
2/5
Ugh I hate The Doors. Something about Jim Morrison’s arrogance and ridiculousness that make him seem like a living parody of a rock star is just so off putting to me. And I hate all that psychedelic noodling they do. But I respect their place in rock history.
The Chemical Brothers
1/5
Still not vibing with the electronica fusion crap.
Richard Hawley
2/5
Gorgeous album cover! It’s evocative of a warm-ish September night in the city. Summer is ending, fall chilliness is not quite yet nipping at our heels, but we know we need to make the most of a glorious night like this. Because there won’t be many more like it for a while. See the show, grab a beer, walk around after, get a hot dog, have deep talks outside the bar, share a first sweet kiss or have horny public make out before you race to catch the latest train possible home… oh what a night!
The music however, does not meet the completely unreasonable expectations I’ve had set in my mind based on this album artwork alone. It tries, but I think I put too much pressure on it.
Ice Cube
2/5
Ok then, Cube.
The Notorious B.I.G.
2/5
Biggie had some good tunes, I admit Juicy and Big Poppa are iconic tracks. Hypnotize too, but it’s not on this album. Still, I just can’t listen to a whole album of this, I can’t. It’s not for me.
James Brown
4/5
James Brown is one of those artists that has been more of an outlandish pop culture caricature to me than an actual tangible performer. He's been quantified to me more through countless "I feel good na na na na na na na" references rather than his actual body of of work. This is the first time it ever even occurred to me to listen to one of his albums, and I don't think a live one is the right starting point. But either way, I can understand why he's been crowned the Godfather of Soul; he has undeniable emotive vocal talent and his music is rife with soul. I like the raspy, gritty quality in his voice, it scratches a specific sonic itch I didn't know was there when I'm listening. I can feel what he's feeling when he sings, I dig that. He sweats authenticity from the very core of his being and I can hear that he left it all out there on stage that night in '63. I may not become a regular, routine listener, but he has my utmost respect.
The Doors
2/5
Ugh more Doors? No, I don’t want it. They’re the same on every record. It’s repetitive and tedious.
Small Faces
2/5
Like being held hostage by a bunch of wannabe teen musicians with no talent, who will just keep playing for you until you finally admit that you think they're talented and could really go somewhere. And I do not want to admit to anything!
It’s over 2 hours of obscure and unrenowned psychedelic crap rock. Who caved and actually gave them a record deal?? They were trying way too hard to come off unique and quirky and steered straight into lame desperately contrived territory instead. Torturous listening.
Bauhaus
3/5
A little trove of new wave rock quirks and gothic eeriness.
The Strokes
3/5
I know there are people in my demographic who LIVE for this album. But I wasn’t mindful of, or paying attention to this group when it came out. I had my head stuck firmly in the neon hair rocking 80s instead. There’s stuff here I like for sure, but it doesn’t have the small nostalgic chokehold on me that it does for my peers. The raspy punky pleading vocals are good. The music starts to feel a bit samey the longer it goes on. But it’s a short record and there’s merit here. I enjoyed this one. Better late than never I suppose?
SZA
2/5
Too early to add this to the list, and it sucks.
Kanye West
1/5
Fuck this absolute clown.
Kate Bush
4/5
Kate is truly unfettered and unhinged here, free to explore all of her wackiest and most surreal artistic impulses. The world needs more legitimate artists and less pseudo "tortured poets".
Jungle Brothers
3/5
Never heard of these guys before, but they’ve got a cool vibe and some funky beats. It’s a very laidback mood, but socially conscious and a bit smarter than the average rap act.
Alanis Morissette
5/5
This album is a tremendous cultural juggernaut; it's hard to think of an album that epitomizes music in the mid-90's better than this one. It is a hugely successful professional rebrand for Alanis, first and foremost, and it's the rebirth of her as a much more consciously independent artist. I personally am not someone who would call themselves a fan, I often skip Ironic when it comes on the radio because it's been so overplayed in my life, but I have the utmost respect for everything she's done for women in music and for Canadian music.
If I make a concerted effort to block out years and years of ingrained familiarity for this album and try to give it a fresh listen, I can confidently say that it does still come out as an impressive artistic offering. It holds up, and is aged well. The songwriting is excellent, the production is immaculate, the lyrical content is relatable and authentic. There's a realness here that is so accessible to listeners, which is obviously why it blew up when it was originally released. This is the sound of my burgeoning youth, it is an integral part of the soundtrack for growing up in southern Ontario in the 90's.
It is angry and raw in a way that nobody expected, but it’s also soft and achingly vulnerable too. Alanis left no emotion unchecked and listeners were enthralled by her. It’s a staple of 90s post-grunge alt rock and it demands it’s rightfully earned 5 star review.
David Bowie
4/5
This is such a good listen, but not because it’s a Bowie record. It’s just a very atmospheric and ambient record, unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. I love Bowie, and I honestly knew none of these songs going into this listen. It’s concise, but all of the tracks bleed together and meld so pleasantly that I couldn’t often distinguish one track from the next. I think Bowie was just so in his flow when he was creating this album. It really shows what a unique artist he was, with such nuanced sensibilities. Not my favourite Bowie tracks, but the artistry is undeniable here.
Simple Minds
2/5
I hate this on principle. Why is the only version of this album that's available on Spotify 4 fucking hours long?!?! That is ABSURD! If the original release runtime is 46 minutes or so, why can't I listen to that version??
I've managed to listen to the first 9 tracks representing the original release, but I still don't like it. It's middling at best. Everything about this is wrong: the branding, the album artwork, the naming of it, the music is just so unappealing and bland. I would prefer to forget about this, if I can, thank you very much.
Buck Owens
2/5
This album sounds 20 years older than it actually is. I can’t believe people were still making music like this in 1965. Get with the times, Buck.
Muddy Waters
3/5
Easy background listening. I know that’s probably blasphemous to all music to say that about THE founding father of modern music. But, with the passing of time and shifting of mindsets, this just doesn’t resonate with me in any way. I enjoyed my time spent with it, I acknowledge the tremendous influence Muddy Waters had on all the rock n roll I’ve loved in my life, and that’s that. I don’t care for live albums, but I do respect this one.
White Denim
5/5
I was so judgemental and dismissive on first sight of this album. I was more than prepared to write this off as more crap music that nobody has ever heard of that got chosen because the UK list-makers do not have an appropriate barometer for impactful North American music. BUT, and it is a big butt a-thankyoouuu, this has smashed all of my preconceived judgements and shattered my uppity disparaging attitude. I LOVE this! I've looped this record 5 times now today because it's so very enjoyable. I love the sound, I love the instrumentation, I love the vocals and the overall vibes. This is a spectacular little gem that I am truly digging. I've never been so happy to be completely dead wrong in all my life. Despite my propensity to stain, I shall indeed don my finest white denim and join this fucking party. Right on, man.
1/5
Jeeesus Christ! I am having way too hard a time detaching my 2024 feminist mindset from what is happening here. Everything about this is appalling to me.
1.) I can't believe this was considered an acceptable way to market a female country artist. She looks like a complete pill of a person and this title isn't as powerful as its trying to be.
2.) This album sounds 20 years older than it actually is. This being released in 1967 at the burgeoning of the flower power / hippie counterculture uprising just shows how pathetically behind the times country western music is and has always been. Lyrically and musically, this record is DATED even in its current epoch!
3.) FUCK YOU to the men that this record needed to be addressed to at the time. And I say this to all the drunken redneck asshole men who ever existed that would come home and drunkenly rape their wives and the ones who still do, AND to the trad wife idiots who still think this is an acceptable lifestyle to promote online like it's some kind of cute nostalgic way to live and not a horrific affront to women's rights.
I'm so grateful to all of the feminist heroes who said "FUCK THIS SHIT" and fought for progress. Loretta, this bullshit has only held women back. You have a nice voice, and I'm sure you complied so you could have this career and a better life, but really, someone with a platform should use it to help others. Not perpetuate and prolong the cycle of misogynistic abuse. Saying you're not supportive of women's liberation, and then going on to support Trump encapsulates how deeply ingrained the complacency and idiocy have been inbred into you. (And sadly, so many others too.) You may not have been a drunk like your hubby, but your addiction to misogyny is oh so much worse.
Faust
2/5
I love the phrase "krautrock", because it calls to mind the delicious image of a bunch of beefy Bavarian bros with gorgeous hair and mustaches jamming at a backyard BBQ where the beer and wurst are abundant and the tunes are rad as hell.
The awkward nerdy reality a krautrock isn't half as sexy as my fantasy. But I suppose I can make do with it.
Madonna
3/5
Wasn't expecting to see Madge pop up again. I suppose this album is evocative of very specific moment in pop culture when she was still relevant and not yet completely cringeworthy. (I say this as someone who went through a HUGE Madonna phase, and did in fact see her on tour in 2004). She did do a bit of a country western aesthetic revival that influenced early aughts fashion. Music and Don't Tell Me were both hits with memorable music videos that got lots of rotation on MuchMusic and/or MTV.
It's what I expected though, the hits are hits and they still slap but the rest of this album is boring filler. There isn't anything edgy or exciting here. It's basic pop drivel. I do still love the classic or canon Madonna eras (1983-2005) and respect what she's done as an artist. But everything she's done after Confessions on a Dance Floor has been embarrassing to witness. I don't want to be ageist, BUT, I do wish she'd chosen to age a bit more gracefully like Cher has and act in a way befitting an icon; a way that doesn't diminish her legacy the way all the "edgy" lingerie, grills, and face filler are doing now.
Prince
5/5
Fantastic fucking album! You need to give this one a few rotations to really appreciate it because there's a lot more nuance and intricacy below the surface. It's not just another cool fun party time with Prince, and yet, it also is very that. But still. You can't go into this one just expecting the same old same old from him. It's funky and cool as always. It's sexually charged and edgy too, but in a more thoughtful way than some of his earlier work which went into explicit sexual content purely to provoke and titillate. There's some socially conscious commentary happening here too, but I don't know that it reveals anything newly insightful about the state of the world at this time, it feels more retrospective in its stance. There's also a few glimmers of raw self-effacing vulnerability that reveal some of the inner turmoil and personal struggles Prince needed to process through his art. There's just so much to consider and mull over. The music is incredible, but it also makes me think.
To reiterate, this is a fantastic album. Musically, lyrically, tonally, everything comes together in such a spectacular way. And I expect no less from Prince, the musical genius and virtuoso who changed the landscape of music for everyone with his blessed combo of untouchable cool and unflinching boldness. He's the total heck-a-slammin' package and this record is another pure fire achievement from his prolific catalogue.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
Echo and his Bunnymen have shown up a few times now. And I’m not mad about it. I love their music. The Killing Moon is one of my all-time favourite gothic emo 80s songs. The rest of the songs here fit perfectly with it and are enjoyable too. And this album cover is a gorgeous piece of stunning artwork. It encapsulates the whole tone of this album perfectly. This album, when in the right frame of mind, scratches a very deep itch.
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Does "swingin' lovers" mean the same thing in Frank's year as it does in our present one? I know the man was arrested for seduction when he was a young 20-something hound dog, so it's not entirely unfathomable to me... oh, okay. Yeah, this is some square ass shit. He does have a very distinct and remarkable voice though. I get why it was considered a "panty-dropper" for all the gals back then. But it's just so very dated to my ears. Split the difference and call it a 3 I guess.
The Crusaders
4/5
This is a phenomenal record! Man, it is so cool and groovy. I wasn't sure what to expect, I thought maybe I was getting some late 70's ska/reggae like The Specials. But instead I get treated to a smorgasbord of jazzy R&B sonic joy instead. I was about ready to pack my bags and start my street life, until they said you can't survive it if you're old lmaoooo. I guess I'll just continue to enjoy the street life vicariously through my stereo. These cats sure can groove and Randy's voice is so silky smooth, I love her.
Pere Ubu
2/5
For all of my musical tastes, I should like this. Should. But I don't. Nothing about it is clicking with me. The album cover is amazing, I'll give it props for that. Unfortunately, nothing else is working for me. Not musically, lyrically, vocally... it's too bad. I sure did try. I'm sure this album sings a direct line to someone's soul, I just know that it ain't mine.
Kraftwerk
4/5
I have given electronic music a lot of shit during this journey. Because I don't like it. But I always give it a fair chance when it comes up, I want people to know that. I'm not just maliciously assigning 1 star without ever trying to understand what might be worthy first. I guess most of the electronic music that comes up really is bonafide crap though. And I can see that clearly now that I've got this album to use as a gold standard going forward, because I am actually quite surprised by how much I've enjoyed this one. I think the main difference I perceive is that this feels like art. Legitimate, musical talent that has produced art. It feels like it has been thoughtfully created with a specific point of view and intentional musicianship versus all of the other acts that apparently just noodle aimlessly with dissonant tones and slap an "art" label on it at the end of the session. I can finally see the light, and I can finally hear the brilliance.
Method Man
1/5
I hate this early/mid 90s “I think I’m a gangster” rap. I can’t get past all the misogyny and “tough guy” braggadocio posturing. The title is so discordant with the content of the record.
Fatboy Slim
2/5
Praise You and The Rockafeller Skank are the high watermark achievements here, they're both iconic tracks that have been imbedded into the culture zeitgeist of the 90's. The rest of the record is an unproblematic listen, but hearing it all at once back to back makes it feel less special, like maybe Fatboy Slim isn't even a musician, just a guy who got lucky that a few of his "experiments" were sonically delightful. I think hearing all these tracks back to back highlights what I don't like about electronic music, the repetitious nature and intentionally grating tones, because it makes each track feel so formulaic and dispassionate. It's the same thing every track - come up with a beat and lay a weird lyrical phrase over it, then repeat it over and over and over again for 3.5 - 5 minutes until the song is over. It’s monotonous to listen to and if that’s the whole point, then fuck you even more electronica!
Stan Getz
4/5
This is such an ambient good time. I feel so carefree and leisurely while I’m listening. This is great kitchen music, it pairs so well with mixing and chopping and prepping. Good times.
The Gun Club
3/5
There were some good snarky punk tunes here. She’s Like Heroin To Me was the standout track for me. I loved the vibes here, but I also couldn’t help but notice that all the right elements had been brought together and assembled, and yet somehow they failed to gel as expected, to fully bring this record to life. Okay is okay, but great is unforgettable. And sadly, these guys didn’t have the stuff to be great.
Anthrax
4/5
Top shelf 80's metal. It is propulsive and unrelenting, just a total badass headbang the whole way through. And this is an iconic album cover, I love the artwork. I've never listened to Anthrax before, but I think I should have been paying more attention. I always knew Scott Ian was a cool dude (because of seeing him on rock 'n' roll jeopardy), but I just didn't feel compelled to pick up any Anthrax records. I'm digging it though. I feel like I could punch a hole through the bullshit and conquer this day!! FUCK YEAH!
Gillian Welch
3/5
Beautifully written songs. Gillian Welch has such an emotive and folksy voice, she's engaging and enigmatic. A little sleepier pace than I like, from a genre perspective, but this is a good listen.
3/5
It really sucks that this one is so hard to get a definitive version of to listen to, but what I did hear didn't surprise me. In the eternal debate of Adam Ant vs. XTC I do tend to choose Ant because his vocals always give my ears something interesting to linger on. But XTC is cool in their own way too.
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
5/5
Hidden gem! This is an unexpected surprise! I like it quite a lot, going to give it a few revolutions so it can really seep into my soul. This is the kind of listless yet brooding indie stuff that rocks my world. I love it. The more I listen, the more I love it. This is an excellent new discovery for me.
Kanye West
1/5
I'll say it again, louder this time for the folks in the back: FUCK THIS STUPID EGOMANIAC ASSHOLE!! I'm not listening to even a second of this shit because I don't want to give this absolute tool one dime of royalty from my ears.
Bon Jovi
5/5
Wow, flashback! Where do I even begin? I was unhealthily obsessed with Bon Jovi, specifically Jon Bon Jovi, when I was a girl in high school. To me, he was the sexiest most incredible man alive and I wanted him to be mine real bad. I loved his hair and his smile and his raspy scratchy voice. I loved his squinty eyes and his tight little ass. Omg, he was my dream!!
I therefore know every single word to every single Bon Jovi song on every single album of theirs from the self-titled debut all the way through to Crush. This is by far their best stuff, but honestly all 80s and early 90s Jovi still slaps. It’s so corny but comfy like a favourite old pair of boots too. Cowboy boots. I don’t listen to them regularly anymore because I’ve long outgrown my crush, but Jon can still get today, he is a fox at any age. Rating generously for the memories.
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
This is a funky record no doubt, and there's plenty of effortless cool here too. But for some reason, nothing really reaches into my soul and really turns it on, you know? It's a competent funk record with a social justice warrior mindset, but it's kinda bland too. It's just lacking that extra special something to take it over the edge. But it's still a chill listening experience.
Traffic
3/5
This album is way too long for what it is. These guys are lousy Grateful Dead wannabes. I can see why Steve Winwood needed to ditch these losers to achieve actual musical success. Again, I can listen to this without being bothered, but it's not stirring my soul. If I want to really vibe with some 60's counterculture rock, I'll stick with the greats.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Like listening to the cast recording for a musical you've never seen and have absolutely zero interest in ever seeing. I like Nick Cave's voice, and I like that he's found his niche, but I just couldn't find a single track on this album to really appreciate or enjoy. I was digging a bit of O'Malley's Bar, but then saw that track was like 14 minutes long and that pissed me right off. Sorry, but nobody's got time for songs that long! That is so overly self-indulgent, I just can't get behind it. Very cool album cover though.
Beck
4/5
A fun quirky listen as expected. Beck always delivers something unique and groundbreaking from his weird musical genius soul. I love it.
Radiohead
1/5
NO MORE RADIOHEAD!!!
I don’t care how much these listmakers fawn over this dreary nerd music, I don’t like it and I never will. I truly hope this is the last of this crap.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
Alright, yeah. You can tell me more about Timbuktu. I’m into it.
Christina Aguilera
3/5
I can’t listen to over an hour of a diva I do not claim as mine. The filler tracks are awful. True pop drivel. But, she does have some legit pipes on her, I can’t deny that. Fighter is a great song. And this album birthed a whole new era for her career. I was in high school when it came out and I remember how scandalized all of our parents were by the Dirrty music video. I could never tell if this new hyper-sexualized image was a bold personal choice on Xtina’s part or if it was just corporate puppetry to sell records, and I guess that’s why she never became a favourite or staple to me. But good for her for having a hugely successful album that did produce so many major pop culture defining moments.
5/5
Killer record! The songwriting is phenomenal and the musicality is so delightfully fun; it is very well constructed. This is the crown jewel of the Kinks catalogue. Love listening to it end to end. There’s a wry playfulness that I find so compelling and enjoyable. And this album artwork is iconic. LOVE IT.
Def Leppard
4/5
This is a rocking hair-metal staple, it’s a total riot the whole way through. Just over the top cheese and charm in equal measure. I’ll always have a soft spot for skiddy 80’s rock like this. Hysteria is their better offering, but Def Leppard rules. I love these guys.
Mercury Rev
2/5
This is another album that feels like the cast recording to some kind of musical I don't want to see. Cool that these guys are off doing their own weird little thing and all, but I'm not into it.
Django Django
3/5
Rando hipster indie junk that epitomizes 2012 sonically.
Beastie Boys
5/5
Fucking FINALLY!!!!
This album is iconic, first and foremost. You get the guys playing the most cartoonish and outlandish caricatures of themselves, hamming up the frat boy stupidity 24/7. The songs are outrageous, ridiculous and obnoxious in the most goofy fun way. It’s so stupid, it goes beyond stupid and then comes full circle back to amazing again. I just love it! Is there a more hype inducing opening riff than No Sleep til Brooklyn?!?! No, there isn’t.
And! It’s an incredible landmark for reflection and growth, which I love even more. These guys are a wonderful example of how artists can find fame in a super gimmicky niche and outgrow it in a thoughtful way to continued success. I love that these guys grew to loathe the idiocy of what they were doing and rose from the ashes reborn as mindful and caring artists, feminist champions and peacemakers. I love that they can look back on their past and acknowledge how problematic it was without excusing it. They’ve given us all the best gift in doing so, because we can continue to listen to this album fondly. We can see the stupidity and smirk and appreciate how this moment in time was simply that, a moment. It’s good to learn. It’s good to grow. These guys are so fucking cool for that. And for just always going against the grain.
I still mourn MCA. I know a ton of us do. I wish he was still here, making music and touring. What a huge loss. Rest in power, my dude. You were the illest.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
First of all, there's too much pet shop boys on this list. They're overrepresented here. Because all of their albums give me the same vibes: synth heavy withering and derisive verbal smackdowns for some poor schmuck caught in this band's crosshairs. I always feel so conflicted by them. The music is engaging, my ears are receptive to it, and it has this inherent catchiness that draws me in. But then I eventually find myself feeling uncomfortable as the listening experience goes on. I feel like I'm being chastised, like a small child who shat on the rug in front of company. Their pop hits are great, there's no denying that. But the deep cuts go too deep. There's a darkness here that I find ultimately untrustworthy, which is why they'll never be a favourite of mine. It's dangerous terrain. I hope I don't have to listen to another one of their albums, the odd hit of theirs getting radio airplay is plenty of PSB for me.
Doves
2/5
Boring boring boring.
Pulp
3/5
Not being a Brit pop aficionado or even fan really, Pulp isn’t a band I have much experience with. My first ever Pulp memory is actually a really good colleague singing Disco 2000 on a karaoke night and he did a killer job. This album is voyeuristic and lascivious in a way that makes me slightly uncomfortable. There are lots of interesting hooks and it’s got catchy music, no doubt. I understand this album is the high watermark of Pulp’s career, and I can see why. I do love the album cover. It perfectly represents so much of the classism the band grapples with in these songs. There’s lots of misogyny in the lyrics too though, and I don’t care for that at all. Conflicted on this one. I’ll split the difference and go with a neutral 3 I think. Seems fair.
Radiohead
1/5
Oh my fucking god. More Radiohead?!?! WHHYYYYYYY????
I’m so sick of how over-esteemed this crappy band is. I’m not listening to this record because I already know what’s on it and I hate Radiohead and they suck. But let’s get into shall we? They’re cold and disaffected and inaccessible in a way that isn’t cool or even mildly intimidating; there’s no danger. And their detachment isn’t felt in a hipster superiority way either. They just seem like they know intellectually what it is to feel, yet none of them have ever felt anything genuinely at all in their detached weirdo fuckhead lives. That’s why I hate them so much. Their music is cold and impersonal and I suspect made by aliens doing some kind of a 3rd Rock From the Sun anthropological project on our planet. Stop pretending you can feel and making gobs of money off of it! I can see through your shit, Radiohead.
I don’t want this. I don’t want any more of this non-human soundscape crap.
Pixies
5/5
Right fucking on, man! I’ve been rewarded. The universe heard my desperation while I was going through it with that Radiohead shit yesterday and maybe somehow knew I’m seeing the Pixies this weekend? This album is a tour de force, so many incredible songs. Whenever “what’s your favourite Pixies album” is asked I find it impossible to decide. This whole album flows so perfectly, and every track has something unique to engage, either musically or lyrically. I love this band. They are so underrated and unappreciated (at least in the circles I'm stuck running in.) For a period of time there the Pixies were putting out straight fire, year after year and I wish I'd come of age in their peak era. Is she weird? Yes! Is she white? YES! Is she married to the night? Yes Yes! Feels like this album was made for my ears because they love every note and want there to be more. It's just so fucking good!
R.E.M.
5/5
Delightfully introspective and pithy as always. The somber exquisite ache in Michael Stipe’s vocals is what gets me, every time. He could sing the phone book and make it a wholly sympathetic experience. It’s the most incredible thing. I always come away with new insights on life after listening to R.E.M., no matter how many times I hear their songs; there’s just layers and layers of delicious nuance that feel so good to savour. Truly unique artists who have a direct line to my heart and soul.
Cypress Hill
2/5
I've never had anything in my life that allows me to relate with gangsta rap... I've had some struggles, but you know, suburban white girl struggles.
This is a whole ass vibe that I can't access, nor do I want to. I'm glad the people who love it really love it though.
Herbie Hancock
3/5
There is a whole lotta funkadelic musicianship here that I can't even pretend to understand. All I can say is that it sounded cool and groovy while I was listening and I enjoyed tidying up my emails while it played through 3 times. So, that's a 3 from me dawg.
Van Halen
5/5
Dude! Yes! Fuck yes. Like just fuck yeah, right fucking on. FUUUUCKKKK!!!!
I love Van Halen because this is what they do to me, they give me this high-octane oversexxed hormonal bloodlust for ROCK that cannot be contained. They make me wanna punch a cop, steal his car then fuck his girlfriend in the backseat! These guys are some of the greatest to ever do this thing; they were destined to be rock gods. Diamond Dave is probably the most electrifying frontman to ever grace the stage. Not probably, is. He for sure is. And the Van Halen brothers are both untouchable on guitar and drums - their instruments having fully become extensions of their very souls. They raised the bar in a major way when they smashed onto the scene with this phenomenal debut album. The frigging guitar on Eruption alone makes this god tier.
Runnin’ With The Devil is my signature karaoke song and my voice sucks, but I swear to you the spirit of Dave fills me when I sing it and the people eat it up.
Anything less than 5 stars for this record is a grievous offence to all of music.
Soul II Soul
2/5
This shit is why record stores have the $1 bin.
Cee Lo Green
1/5
I am so mad that I'm getting dealt this annoying little's turd's album for my 1000th. Honestly, fuck this guy!! Homophobic, rapist piece of shit. Not giving him a dime of royalty today nor a minute of my time. I believe my 1-star rating is substantiated by the fact the Cee Lo has absolutely no talent whatsoever.
Primal Scream
2/5
I’ve made it to 1001! Here I am at the top of the mountain (almost), and I feel so accomplished. However, this record isn’t a very fitting one for the occasion. It is just so very meh. But maybe it’s fitting in the fact that it is mediocre UK rock because that seems to be the majority of this list. Hmm. Oh well, at least I’m here.
Dr. John
3/5
This is such a bizarre record, but weirdly compelling too? At first I thought for sure I was gunna have to skip it, but I got the whole way through. It's very character driven and atmospheric, obviously. Dr. John's voice reminds me a lot of Eric Burden's, I think that's why I kept listening. The layers of country backwoods flavour baked into his delivery piqued my sonic interest. This is a white man playing dress up and cultural appropriation in a fully immersive voodoo/hoodoo fantasy world all his own, but I have to give him credit for being so committed to the bit. Is this guy a whackadoo weirdo? Absolutely. Is the record worth the 33 minute listening time? Absolutely. Then you can go get a bowl of gumbo afterward, you've earned it.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
It’s not Elvis’s best. There’s some very intense and clever wordplay and double entendres throughout the lyrics, as expected, but it lacks the punch his other albums have. It’s just sort of lukewarm I think. I know a lot of people complain about how overrepresented EC is on this list, and they’re totally right, but I like him and having to go deeper into his catalogue because of this project has been a joy for me. I think he’s a really cool and unique artist and even when his offerings are lukewarm, I still enjoy them immensely.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
This album is so theatrical and immersive, but in a really dull way. It doesn't have the down-home kitschy charm that Gris Gris (a few albums prior) does, another very theatrical and strange album. I like Nick Cave's voice, but I always find myself wondering who he is making music for? I don't know anyone who has ever told me he's their favourite artist or even that they like him or think he's cool. He's flying under the radar intentionally I guess? This music is just so cold and inaccessible. But I guess he's living in his own private musical soundscape and it all makes sense to him. Oh wait, wrote it after the death of his son. Omg. Okay, this is grief music, I understand! Listening again through another lens and yeah, I get it. Poor man. My deepest sympathies and condolences. I think this is now a very beautiful hereafter that Nick Cave has created for Arthur. Albeit, boring and not for me.
This album cover is absolutely gorgeous. It really does transport you to a magical fairy realm. Just too bad it's so marred by sadness.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5/5
This album simply cannot be rated less than 5. It is the high watermark, the crown jewel of Neil's catalogue and career. The songwriting is pure excellence; having coined a phrase that has become a core part of our cultural vernacular, "it's better to burn out than fade away". That idea has become a modern rock philosophy and ideology. It resonates on a deep soul level and is so intellectually intriguing too. The song Sail Away is my favourite, it's just so wistful and tender. I love that Neil goes there as an artist; he can create vivid moments, evoke exquisite aches, and stir souls with a few simple chords and an understated vocal delivery. Neil Young is so fucking cool.
The Beta Band
3/5
The Beta Band has one song that I really really like, and unfortunately, it is not on this album. But the songs here continue on in that same vein of genre fusion. The combination of brooding and moody lyricism, but with a slight lilt of musical exuberance creates a truly unique sonic ambience. I can dig it.
De La Soul
3/5
A truly delightful hip hop record that embodies the playful and freewheeling late 80's spirit of the genre. Good times tunes packing much more than meets the eye.
The Pharcyde
3/5
I was doubtful about this one just from looking at the cover, but it is a perfect natural progression from the De La Soul album I had yesterday. This one is more outlandish and comedic though, it leans further into the cultivation of rap caricatures to carry the vibe.
“Shot him in the ass on the downstroke” is pure poetry.
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
I haven't listened to any early aughts Bruce before, but I dig him, let's check this out.
Oh, okay. He's going through one of those mid/man life crisis things. Yeah, contemplating mortality and reasserting his faith and shit, it is so cheesy. This record lacks the insightfulness and depth of his peak career records. It's just trying too hard to be meaningfully poetic, but it's coming out more like some corny Bon Jovi drivel. I think he's lost his edge. Or he doesn't know what kind of artist to be in the new millennium? At his age? I think the musicality of it is alright, but the lyricism and the themes he's exploring are so basic bitch. Especially post-9/11. I expected more from you on this one, Boss. That's okay, we'll always have Born in the U.S.A.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Man, does this guy ever have any fun?!?! He's such a downer all the time. He's a great songwriter, but everything is just so dreary. I don't know why he even bothers with names for his albums when they should all be called Depression Vol. 1, Vol. 2, etc. People Ain't No Good is a great track though. I liked it a lot. Once in a while you do need brooding and cathartic music, but a whole album of it is too much. Give me something uptempo once in a while, will ya?
I hope this is the last of Nick Cave, he’s another artist who has been way over represented on this list. Especially since his schtick is the same every time. Sad boi cry music, oh I’m so dark and despairing. Bro, you need some fucking Prozac.
The Go-Go's
4/5
Whoa! I think I willed this one into happening! I know I'm getting close to the end, so there's only so many records left. But I was thinking about The Go-Gos the other day and how I probably won't see them on this list, but that this is a great album and it should be included, so I popped it on for personal listening. Two days later here we are! Manifested it. I'm so happy it's on the list because it is such a fun album but it's also badass. The Go-Gos rock, mainly because their songs are catchy as all hell but also because they don't pull their punches and the don't fuck around. They're girls having fun but they won't take any shit. I live for it. Vacation all I ever wanted, vacation have to get away! They are singing the songs of the people. (Yes, I know that song isn't on this album, but it's such a banger it should be on all their albums). This is an early 80's pop rock staple, a must have for any record collection. Vive la Go-Gos!
808 State
1/5
Nah man, nah. This sucks. The album cover is ugly too.
The Streets
2/5
Great album cover, but too bad it houses shit music I want nothing to do with.
Roxy Music
4/5
It's a remarkable album, so pioneering and innovative. Roxy music in my mind have always been the harbingers of New Wave, bringing art, music, and experimentation together in a newly fused hippie marriage. This is a fantastic debut album, it's bold and unapologetically flaunts its infatuation with its own sound. And yet it's concise, teasing the listener with something new without overindulging. There's promise and potential. Dazzling potential. This album was an excellent way for Roxy Music to emerge onto the scene and make a lasting mark. Because it was only the beginning, they've got way better records yet to come.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Oh my fucking god, FINALLY! I have been waiting for this album to show up for almost 3 years now!!
God Tier album. Absolutely flawless from end to end. It is the font from which all dad rock has sprung. Everything about this album is perfect. The music and lyrics paired with all the interpersonal band dramas behind the scenes that bubbled up and boiled over into it all. What happened during the recording of this album is the very essence of its greatness. It's the stuff of rock 'n' roll legend now, but it's how things got done back then with so many drugs, free love, and iconoclastic personalities crammed in one studio in a creative pressure cooker. Reading about the band during the recording of this album is almost more entertaining than the album itself at times! It's incredible that this group was able to get this done at all. And it is the crown jewel of all classic rock, in my opinion. It is the one record that no record collection can possibly be complete without. Every single song is awesome. Even when it slows down for the ballad, if you think ballads are boring, Christine McVie's vocals will make you cry. Stevie is everything to me though. Her vocals are bewitching and emotive on an untouchable level that technical proficiency can't compete with. The flavour in her voice gives this album its ultimate shine.
Top marks and any one who dares disagree is a fucking moron who needs to have their ears cleaned out. A true magnum opus for the band, for the 70's, and for all of rock 'n' roll as a genre. This is so much greater than the sum total of its parts; it's a masterpiece for this epoch of our pop culture collective. Unreal.
T. Rex
5/5
Underrated and under appreciated 70's glam rock masterpiece. Every single song on this album is a good time. T.Rex does not get talked about enough in the canon of formative 70's rock. The oddball/talented combo is off the charts here with an eclectic mix of styles and flavours coming together to give the listener something truly unique. There's a distinct sonic thumbprint that T.Rex has that makes their songs instantly recognizable in the special way that all iconic acts have. All killer, no filler, this album rules.
Solomon Burke
5/5
Ooo now here is a soulful voice for the ages! I first became familiar with Solomon Burke because of the Dirty Dancing soundtrack that I listened to endlessly in my pre-teen silly dilly dally girl days. And his emotive delivery of every note instantly captured my attention. I love his music, it is classic and classy, there's so much old world charm here. I adore him, this is a wonderful album for showcasing his artistry.
The Triffids
4/5
Maudlin lyricism and jangly pop instrumentation are the sweet n sour combo of the music world. Fight me on it! It's the combo I can't get enough of it, done best by The Smiths, but done quite well by these Triffids too.
Cheap Trick
2/5
This has to be one of the worst live albums of all time. Sound quality is atrocious and the production must have been done by an actual potato. The only redeeming thing is I Want You To Want Me. I love the song Surrender but it sucks hardcore on this shitty album. Glad to be moving on.
Bill Callahan
1/5
“Alternative country” - worst combination of genres possible. Hold the country and give me the full blast of alternative instead please.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
5/5
Deliciously distorted and alternative. Me likey. Me likey A LOT.
Girls Against Boys
3/5
This is dark and heavy in a way that I wasn't expecting. There's a very menacing quality in this singer's vocals that makes every lyric feel like a threat. I'm not sure I'll ever add this into my rotation, because it feels just a shade too dark for me, but I do like the hard rock musicality here. I think this could have been something I'd have explored a little more enthusiastically were I still in my youth, cultivating my musical tastes. I don't think it resonates with my current phase of life, which is why I'll respect it but it won't stick.
Holger Czukay
1/5
This album photo is not doing dude's hairline any favours. If he wanted to look balding, well, he got his wish!
LTJ Bukem
1/5
Okay, this might be the 1-iest 1 of all the crappy 1-star records yet. What a pile of crap. I hate it.
Lightning Bolt
2/5
Noise rock eh? Hmm. It's a very cool album cover, love the artwork. The music is definitely edgy and different. Do I like it though? No. It just sounds like backing tracks for an off-brand GTA game. Bold to call this a wonderful rainbow when it's a shit rainbow at best.
Buzzcocks
4/5
Classic late 70's punk. It's exactly what you want when you want this vibe.
Harry Nilsson
5/5
Harry Nilsson is a 5 star man. He's an incredible songwriter, and he takes you on an unexpected journey with every song. He's heartfelt and emotional one minute, but goofy and quirky the next. I love vibing to his playful lyricism and funky musicality, but then I get all up in my feels when he serves an aching love song. It's phenomenal. Dude was a genius and he's under appreciated, I think.
The Kinks
5/5
The Kinks are fun, I always get a kick out of them and their wacky tunes. There's something so quintessentially 60's counterculture/hippie rock about their sound that is so ambient and delightful. I wasn't alive during this time, but to me, they perfectly encapsulate how it sounded to be a young and idealistic free thinker in the 60's. Very few bands can be so of their time and yet remain timeless; the Kinks are one of those rare few that have done so. I love them. Fantastic album artwork too!
Lupe Fiasco
1/5
Wow, this is a real pile of crap alright. How did it get made???
Kendrick Lamar
2/5
The beats are cool, but the lyrics are cringe and all the skits throughout even cringier. I did not enjoy this listening experience.
Nanci Griffith
3/5
Nanci has a nice voice and she’s a good songwriter. Those songs are a bit too hurdy durdy yay Texas for my personal liking, but I respect her craft. Great album cover too, I love this photo.
The Zutons
5/5
Buried treasure! I've never heard of this band before, but I love them wholeheartedly now. This is such a cool vibe, I feel like I'm hearing modern day CCR in a harmonious blend of R.E.M. and a pinch of Tom Petty. But make it folksy punk somehow? This is some sorcery, it's a wildly unique fusion that has become it's own wonderful thing. I'm hooked, I'm a new fan now! I love this record. It is so melodic and sonically pleasing to get lost in.
Iron Butterfly
3/5
It’s just some silly hippie junk that went on to become the most famous hippie junk of all time. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida is THE song of the 60s. It is the sonic thumbprint that defines the psychedelic 60s more than any Beatles or Stones tune ever could.
Adam & The Ants
5/5
An undeniable new wave masterpiece. It's chock full of quirky nuggets of gold and oddball swagger. Adam Ant is like the non-inflammatory version of Morrissey. This album is just a solid good time from end to end. Landmark for the genre.
Suzanne Vega
2/5
I was excited to hear more from this Tom’s Diner one-hit-wonder but I was swiftly let down. This album is boring! So boring! Every song sounded the same. Nothing was cool or catchy like I’d hoped. What a disappointment.
Fatboy Slim
2/5
We already had the one landmark Fatboy Slim album, so this seems to be an unnecessarily redundant inclusion. The beats are fine, if not a bit repetitive and monotonous with continued listening. It’s just not as good as the other one. Meh.
Common
3/5
Another Common album, okay. It’s got some funk, some soul. It’s okay, it’s not reaching into my soul to shatter it.
Britney Spears
4/5
Talk about a pop phenomenon that became a whole ass new era in music! Britney’s meteoric rise to stardom began the instant we heard those iconic opening bars to …Baby One More Time. Whether or not you like this music, you do have to acknowledge that it was the harbinger of a whole new era of pop and Britney was the face of it all. I was in grade 6 when this came out and it was EVERYTHING to me and my girls. So many sleepovers with choreographed Britney lip syncs were had. She was our newly crowned Queen and we adored her. This album has a number of smash hits but it also has a bunch of crummy filler tracks too. Good for Britney for achieving her dreams and I thank her for an endless supply of silly pre-teen memories.
Beatles
3/5
It’s not the best Beatles offering by far. It’s fine, there’s lots of staple rock n roll tracks, but this is a band still doing the basics to get themselves known. It’s competent but not impressive.
The Cramps
3/5
Ookey spooky Halloween band with kitschy oddball tracks that creep and crawl their way into your haunted house playlist. Classic camp galore.
CHVRCHES
3/5
Basic mid ‘10s indie boy-girl band fare. I like the synth, don’t mind the vocals, but nothing stuck. It okay.
Scott Walker
2/5
Another boring Scott record. Scott 4 is indiscernible from Scott 2 to me. Meh.
Machito
2/5
Yeah, it's jazzy and doing it's own thing. Nothing about it appeals to me from the album artwork. But it's inoffensive to the ears.
The Replacements
4/5
There are a few Replacements songs that I really really like, but they are not on this album. The tracks we do have though are endearing in the same style as the ones I really like are; they call out to the youthful ennui I often feel for a time long passed. It's a nice place to settle in and hang out for a while. I always feel wistful listening to these guys. They make me wish I'd been a reckless and restless American youth in the 80's noodling on a guitar with my buddies and causing some shit wherever we go. It's ripped jeans and a shoplifted 6-pack. It's comfortable and slightly illicit in that way that only retro American punk is.
The Fall
3/5
Middle of the road average punkish rock. No earth has been shattered with this listening, no new insights gleaned, but it didn’t torture my ears either.
The Kinks
4/5
I’ve come to appreciate the Kinks quite a bit because of this journey. I knew them and liked them before, but the appreciation has deepened and become more meaningful over time. Like with cheese. You know you like cheese right off the hop, that’s a given. But as you get older you move away from the cheddar comfort zone and start to get more familiar with Gouda or Swiss. Then on to Manchego or Gruyère. The Kinks are Gruyère.
fIREHOSE
4/5
Oh okay, I see what's happening here. I like it. Quite a lot. Yeah, this is good stuff. I'd never heard of this band before, but this is right up my alley. It's cool breezy alt rock with some playful lyricism. I've given it 5 back to back rotations now and it's just a cool album. I really do dig it!
The Bees
4/5
This was another unexpected surprise, just a quirky early aughts record with some compelling layers of personality and soul. I liked it quite a lot. A very ambient and pleasant listen.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
2/5
A cheap Leonard Cohen wannabe who made himself look like a mental patient with this album cover photo. No thanks.
Love
2/5
Underwhelming psychedelic folk rock, I guess is what I’d call it. Honestly, it just isn’t special. It’s unremarkable. Meh.
M.I.A.
1/5
Unlistenable garbage. I had to stop the belligerent assault of sonic crap on my ears halfway through, couldn't finish it. Everything about it is dissonant and unharmonious in the most obnoxious way. Hates it!
Big Star
4/5
Oh yay! This is such an underrated gem. Thirteen is such a sweet, wistful song. It gives me all the feels. This is a lovely album start to finish. It is quintessential 70s rock.
Peter Tosh
4/5
This is just about a chill as it gets. Tosh is one of the OG godfathers of the genre; he's one of the key factors in it becoming mainstream outside of Jamaica, right alongside Bob and Bunny, so you have to give him his props for that. I don't know that I'd take any medical advice from him though, there's no way smoking weed could ever be good for asthma lol.
Björk
2/5
Just another weirdo whispery moment from Björk that doesn’t appeal to me at all. Good for her though.
Arcade Fire
2/5
Middling aughts indie rock that didn’t interest me then and still doesn’t now.
Hüsker Dü
4/5
I really liked this one! It ran on a little too long, but it was a perfect blend of 80s indie alt and roguish punk. I thoroughly enjoyed it and even looped it back to start again when it was over.
Waylon Jennings
3/5
Waylon can really throw down, there's a reason he's one of the all time greats of country music. While this may not be the kind of music I want to listen to, I can't be mad about a 27 minute twangy detour like this. It's upbeat, with a hint more rock in some of the tracks than the real hurdy durdy country stuff. The voice is clear, manly, and true. The musicianship is simple and understated. It fully knows who and what it is and unapologetically does it's thing.
Faith No More
2/5
Ugh. I’m so conflicted. I hate this band because they are pricks who’ve feuded with RHCP, which like sorry bros but you’re not even in the same league so how very dare you?? But I also acknowledge that these guys were part of the early rap-rock alt days that forged nü-metal. And even though I don’t like nü-metal, it was an innovation in music at the time. Arrrgh! Epic has catchy parts that I will sing along to sometimes, but I also have a strong urge to skip it when it pops up on shuffle or the radio because it’s grating and annoying too. And I hate this album cover, it’s so crappy and ugly. Hmm. I don’t want to listen to any more of this junk.
Slint
1/5
I can’t believe this is considered as influential as it is. It’s not good. There’s no soul. It’s just disaffected dudes doing their best “we’re cool because we’re in a band” schtick but they lack the charisma or talent needed to really sell this. It sucks.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Beauty! I’m so glad there was still some Zeppelin left in the tank this far into my journey. Immigrant Song alone makes this an instant 5 star album. They bring the heat, every time.
Basement Jaxx
1/5
English electronic garbage with a hideous album cover? I know just what to do with you! Into the 1-star bun you go, piss off you wankers.
Queen Latifah
2/5
I want to like this, I want to hype a woman rapper up, especially one as cool as Queen Latifah is. But this sucks. The lyrical content is solid, empowering and what have you. Something about the combo of it with the “music” though just grates on me. It just became so repetitive and one note the longer it went on. It’s too bad because I usually view late 80s rap much more favourably than this, but I just didn’t like it.
The Smiths
5/5
Oh excellent! The glorious final album of The Smiths before Morrissey’s insane egotism and extremist nonsense tore them apart. But it sure was fun while it lasted. Any Smiths record is an undeniable 5 -star affair for me. I just can’t get enough of the jangly uptempo guitars and melancholic lyricism. It’s a delicious combination. But, moderation as they say. You can’t have too much of a good thing. And this is a very very good thing.
Hot Chip
3/5
I’m going to surprise us all by being semi-kind to some electronic music. It okay. Not as tedious or overwrought as other electronic junk I’ve suffered through for this challenge. It’s more subdued and actually resembles music.
LCD Soundsystem
2/5
This band got so much hype from a few of my very music obsessed friends, they were so emphatic about every single note, that I think it turned me away. Plus, this is mainly electronic indie which is not my thing. But giving this an honest and openminded listen, I do admit that I had moments of enjoyment. The last album of theirs that I had, Sound of Silver was better though. That one is the pinnacle of their career for sure. The song about being a baby was funny, that made me do a double take. But, I'll never put this album on again and I don't remember a single track.
Electric Light Orchestra
5/5
Otherworldly masterpiece. Jeff Lynne is a musical genius who is sadly so underrated and under appreciated. This whole album is a euphoric journey of sounds and textures that delight on a cellular level. Perfection. It is a long album, which I typically don't like, but it doesn't feel nearly as long as it is because every song slaps and it's such a flawlessly arranged album. Every tracks flows wonderfully into the next. This is one of the GOATs of classic rock and a staple for any collection.
The Monks
4/5
Travesty this isn't on spotify! This is some kooky oddball 60's stuff that I gets my blood pumping. I'm into it. Music ripe for a Tarantino spotlight. So groovy, so of it's time, but in the coolest way. I'm digging it.
Booker T. & The MG's
4/5
I've heard the title track an unknowable amount of times, it is the epitome of 60's soul, and it's been featured in so many movies over the last 60+ years. It is ubiquitous! The go to song for expressing the spirit of the 60's. I've never heard any other tracks on this album before, and I'm not surprised that they are equally ambient and soothing to the soul. This one can loop many times over and I won't get sick of it. This is good working music, good cooking music, good vibing out music, it fits. It expands to fit the scene or contracts as needed uplift the background. Great fucking record.
Miles Davis
5/5
Watch me flail to write a fitting review for arguably the greatest jazz record of all time. It is wonderfully engaging on every sonic level. An impressive feat from an untouchable artist leagues above and ahead of his peers. A true tour de force, the cementing of an already cemented legacy. Undeniable talent, this is rarified air. And the title! I have to mention how badass and iconic the title is. Truly inspired work, I bow down and offer my humble thanks that my ears were permitted to hear such magnificent music.
Slipknot
1/5
This is a weird coincidence. My skiddy metalhead husband just saw Slipknot two days ago and they played the entirety of their debut album for that set. I rated that crap a 1 star and broke his heart. Today when I shared this album with him, he said he's actually not that familiar with it aside from one massive single. It's indecipherable from the first album for me, it still sucks. Too much creepy hatefulness. The masks are a gross gimmick. I'm not into it, and I never will be.
Songhoy Blues
2/5
Like the soundtrack to a Mali version of The Departed.
Paul Revere & The Raiders
4/5
Glorious 60s rock album, it is giving me life today. Reminds me of oldies radio. Of my dad. Of his parents and their home on a large plot of farm land tucked away from civilization where my childhood was unfettered and free. Of summer days outside, barefoot always, with the radio blasting the Psychedelic Sundays program he listened to every week on Q107. It’s the sound of being young and spending time with family. Helping my Opa in the garden, putting away the groceries for my Oma. Laughing with my uncles while we played silly games and retold favourite family stories. I had a more charmed childhood than I ever realized. This is the music that transports me back there in my mind, makes me feel wistful. A sonic time capsule.
Joanna Newsom
2/5
Nothing about this is remotely interesting to me, but we’ll see how this goes…oh okay, we’ve got the theatre kid version of Janis Joplin here. I like the grating scratchy quality I’m hearing in her voice, but these songs are weird as fuck. This is not a world I want to get lost in. I’m assuming she’s heavily inspired by Nick Cave and is trying to do something very similar to his more theatrical and conceptual work. This was an odd one, but not the kind of odd I want.
Morrissey
3/5
I love The Smiths especially because I love me some whiny melodramatic Morrissey lyricism. But this album is unfortunate. It just doesn’t pack quite the wallop of his early work. It okay. Don’t be cry.
Guns N' Roses
5/5
Oh fuck yeah! I know every single lyric to every song on this record because I bought it in high school and listened to it on loop. And I was a high schooler in the early 2000s hahaha. But I was deeply obsessed with all things 80s and this record’s screechy raw power meshed perfectly with my teenage disenfranchisement and need to rebel. I have to laugh looking back at teenage me, just vibing so hard with Mr. Brownstone, absolutely clueless that it’s about heroin addiction but feeling like I relate to it on a deeply personal level. Oh man, kids are dumb.
My personal memories and feelings aside, we all have to acknowledge that Appetite for Destruction is one of the most powerful and impressive debut albums of all time. It came screaming out of the gates, cocky as all hell, telling the world exactly who these badass motherfuckers are and not to mess with them. And there’s real talent here. As much of an arrogant asshat as Axel is, you have to give him credit for his songwriting and artistry (at least at this moment in time, let’s leave Chinese Democracy out of it for now). There are 6 singles here! And some of them the most enduring songs in rock to this day! GnR came out swinging, they took no prisoners, pissed all over the global stage, and solidified their status as Demi-gods of rock. And this album still slaps today. Well done, lads!
Lucinda Williams
2/5
Boring hurdy durdy country shit I don’t want. I would love it if my final albums were just way way better than this sad trickle down of crap I’ve been getting.
Kraftwerk
2/5
More experimental electronica that I don’t want. Kraftwerk are revered for their musical brilliance or whatever, but I can’t hear it. Does not stir my soul. But respect for their place in the musical realm gets them 2 stars from me.
Bobby Womack
2/5
This is weird, man. Unexpectedly weird! The music is giving me funky groovy good times, but the lyrics are just awful. Not awful in a blatantly trying to create controversy or incite a reaction. Awful in the "I think I'm an artist and everything I say is so profound, but is actually a huge load of shit and completely lacks any real talent with words whatsoever" kind of way. You know this person. They think they're a writer or a singer or an artist, but they are a talentless hack and totally deluded. Yet, for some reason they charge at their dreams hard enough and nobody pipes up to say "actually, you should keep your day job" so somehow they find "success". I think of my cousin's idiot ex-husband who self published a book re-telling his dad's life story and then handed it out as the Thank You gift to everyone who attended their wedding. For real. Next level egotism and delusion. After this listen, I think Bobby Womack is the kinda guy who'd do that same thing. The fact that this album is called The Poet and nary a snippet of interesting poetry can be found here speaks volumes about how far up his ass his head is.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
I've long heard talk about Captain Beefheart being one of the most challenging and unlistenable artists of all time, but maybe that only applies to the album with the Catfish faced person on the cover. This is definitely a weird little offering. But it's got some stank on it that I can get down with. Dropout Boogie was giving me life. I'm Glad was a delightful song too! So soulful. It does go on a bit too long though, the album. I guess maybe this is a pit stop on the way to becoming more inaccessible and bizarre?
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Scream it all out, Siouxsie! Just scream it all out.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
2/5
So weird that this album is coming up when I just referenced it in another review days ago. I think I agree with most people that this is unlistenable drivel. It’s just too far out there. And I think people who say they like this are just being pretentious and contrarian. It sucks. Points for being prolifically terrible though
The Jam
4/5
I love The Jam, there’s just something so perfectly wry yet cheeky about them. The music is the exact right style for my ears, and the lyricism always intriguing. I think what I love most though are the vocals. They are so unmistakably Bri-ISH I just love it. I don’t care for this one as much as Sound Effects, but it’s still a great listen.
10cc
4/5
What a delightfully funky time! It transported me back in time to a place of carefree glee. What a vibe!
Duran Duran
3/5
Her name is Rio and she dances in the sand! Her name is Rio and she’s the epitome of 80’s pop cheese! Her name is Rio and she’s getting 3 gold stars from me!
Death In Vegas
1/5
Over 2 hours of boring ass weirdo shit. Not good weirdo, bad obnoxious weirdo. Do not like, do not want.
Funkadelic
3/5
This is a weird record. It's funky. But it's also quite a bit maudlin at times. I'm used to my funk being up up up all the time and no slowing down. Power to the pussy, that's a sentiment I can appreciate. There's so much exploration here, and I don't think all of it landed. Was a cool ride, but not one I'm gunna take again.
Can
2/5
It seemed like maybe it was going to be something I could vibe with, but then it never really turned over into 2nd gear.
Tom Waits
3/5
This might be Waits at his most accessible. There’s such a strong bluesy undercurrent here that compliments his unique voice and almost elevates it. The ballads are a bit rougher on the ears, but there’s an earnestness to be admired.
Jeru The Damaja
1/5
Fitting that my last album of this project would be the absolute bottom of the barrel, the very dregs of music. What a pile of crap. The album, its cover, the music, it all comes together in a cornucopia of crap. 1 star, but should be 0.