567
Albums Rated
3.22
Average Rating
52%
Complete
522 albums remaining
Featured Review
Orbital 2
Orbital • 5/5
AKA the Brown Album, or as it should be known, the Golden Brown Album because this stuff is gold! I don’t know why Snivilisation was such clanking dismal claptrap because Orbital really got their game on so well here. It’s a sweeping cinematic progressive alien techno rave of grand symphonic proportions where all the various movements and weird, dangerous, exotic (and above LUSH) textures all blend so beautifully together. The Star Trek sampling first track is not just where ‘time becomes a loop’ but also has a bit of phasing as well which makes Orbital Steve Reich-level geniuses. Lush 3.1 is a swoony, gobsmacking early highlight cut from the same gorgeous acid rave cloth as 808 State’s Pacific. Things get a bit heavier on Impact (The Earth Is Burning) which sounds like an orgy of rave, apocalyptic destruction and orgies. Halcyon + On + On is the best crossover track though, so phenomenally blissed. Used in Mortal Kombat and Mean Girls, it would actually sound good in any movie soundtrack... even Lord Of The Rings or Muppets Christmas Carol. Overall this is an easy 5/5. Definitely a classic of 90s electronica and a perfect Christmas Eve treat.
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1970
Favorite Decade
Funk
Favorite Genre
UK
Top Origin
Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
96
5-Star Albums
47
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
Top Styles
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Trout Mask Replica
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
|
5 | 2.29 | +2.71 |
|
Cupid & Psyche 85
Scritti Politti
|
5 | 2.39 | +2.61 |
|
90
808 State
|
5 | 2.7 | +2.3 |
|
Orbital 2
Orbital
|
5 | 2.7 | +2.3 |
|
Phaedra
Tangerine Dream
|
5 | 2.73 | +2.27 |
|
A Wizard, A True Star
Todd Rundgren
|
5 | 2.84 | +2.16 |
|
Destroy Rock & Roll
Mylo
|
5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
|
Cafe Bleu
The Style Council
|
5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
|
Music Has The Right To Children
Boards of Canada
|
5 | 2.91 | +2.09 |
|
Felt Mountain
Goldfrapp
|
5 | 3 | +2 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Daydream Nation
Sonic Youth
|
1 | 3.29 | -2.29 |
|
GREY Area
Little Simz
|
1 | 3.23 | -2.23 |
|
Dry
PJ Harvey
|
1 | 3.23 | -2.23 |
|
The Blueprint
JAY Z
|
1 | 3.19 | -2.19 |
|
Deloused in the Comatorium
The Mars Volta
|
1 | 3.19 | -2.19 |
|
Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde
The Pharcyde
|
1 | 3.13 | -2.13 |
|
Trio
Dolly Parton
|
1 | 3.12 | -2.12 |
|
Rid Of Me
PJ Harvey
|
1 | 3.12 | -2.12 |
|
Architecture And Morality
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
|
1 | 3.06 | -2.06 |
|
evermore
Taylor Swift
|
1 | 3.02 | -2.02 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Radiohead | 6 | 4.67 |
| Simon & Garfunkel | 3 | 5 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 3 | 5 |
| Prince | 3 | 5 |
| Led Zeppelin | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Who | 3 | 4.67 |
| Steely Dan | 2 | 5 |
| Pink Floyd | 2 | 5 |
| Nick Drake | 2 | 5 |
| Frank Sinatra | 2 | 5 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers | 2 | 5 |
| Coldplay | 2 | 5 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 4 | 4.25 |
| Stevie Wonder | 3 | 4.33 |
| Beatles | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Sonic Youth | 3 | 1 |
| Tom Waits | 4 | 1.5 |
| Robert Wyatt | 2 | 1 |
| PJ Harvey | 2 | 1 |
| Public Image Ltd. | 2 | 1 |
| Bee Gees | 2 | 1.5 |
| Spiritualized | 2 | 1.5 |
| The xx | 2 | 1.5 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Taylor Swift | 4, 1 |
| Orbital | 2, 5 |
| The Cure | 2, 4, 5 |
5-Star Albums (96)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Mylo · 8 likes
5/5
Easy 5! Cool, quirky little dance album and 00s classic from the Scottish Daft Punk. Probably the best thing to come out of the Isle Of Skye other than whisky. Lots of fun, funky beats, smooth 80s keyboards and cool samples from Rikkie Lee Jones, Bette Davis Eyes and Boy Meets Girl and serious heavy bangers with Drop The Pressure and the title track. Also some really pretty, chilled out stuff towards the end with Zenophile and Need You Tonight so a good mix of pop, club, ambient and chill out. Mylo apparently got tinnitus afterwards and lost all his money because of all the royalties he had to payout for the samples but it was worth it because this is a very good album.
The Jam · 4 likes
5/5
No mod cons with this being on the list. This is awesome timeless stuff. Quintessential Jam and as good as any Style Council album. Paul Weller is such a snazzily angry young man on here and really steps up compared to the first two Jam albums. He pays a bit of tribute to Kinks with a cover of David Watts and then proceeds to take over from Ray Davies as England’s finest songwriter. They’ve got a poppy, tuneful, sharp suited attack dog sensibility that tips Elvis Costello, Sex Pistols, Clash and The Buzzcocks all into the same cocked hat and it’s easy to see why they ended up dominating the UK charts quickly afterwards. Mr Clean shows them at their most spiteful and bitter, English Rose at their most sensitive and poetic. They save their most righteous and best songs till the very end with A Bomb On Wardour Street and Down In The Tube Station At Midnight which as well as describing a torrid time out with far-right hooligans is also an almighty fizzy poppying bass masterclass from their fox in the box Bruce Foxton.
Iron Maiden · 3 likes
5/5
Woe to you haters of this album, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath. Because he knows the time is short. Let him or her of them who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number. It is 555 because this is a 5 star album times 5 times 5. And times 5 again. (Take away 5x5x5 for Gangland and Invaders being a bit ropier than the other tracks. Add 55 again for the other tracks just being so awesome and epic)
Taylor Swift · 3 likes
1/5
Tay Tay obviously has had her hand in quite a few meaty pop bangers, particularly on her 2014 indie-pop opus 1989. 2020’s Folklore was a bit of a red flag in that although it marked a more matured folkier indie sound and occasionally did feel marginally dreamy, woozy, emotional and introspective it ultimately wasn’t overly that interesting or exciting and was more on the level of Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk if it was all the slowie ballads done by someone like Christine McVie’s spoilt transatlantic niece. This quick fire follow-up Evermore just happens to mish-mash that same matured folky change of direction with an almightily blander modern pop formula and the result is an hours worth of music that is so stultifying that it’s basically coma-inducing. Prettily sung but ultimately very boring, samey, one-paced melodies and overwhelmingly plain chord progressions and instrumental arrangements. It’s probably held up as a gold standard of current day songwriting but compared to the likes of Joni or Dylan or even acts such as Doves or Shack this album just feels incredibly feeble.
Robbie Williams · 3 likes
2/5
If there was a Mt Rushmore of biggest twats in the music business then Robbie Williams’ face would be on it four times. Just a huge horrible obnoxious twat. Best keywords I would use for this album would be Smug, Tedious, Obnoxious, Wanker, Useless, Twat, Shit, Wannabe, Oasis, Tryhard, Britplop, Untalented, Fat, Dancer, Crap, Annoying, Petty, Tiresome, Attention-Seeking, Knobend.
Guy Chambers can write the odd good song though and with Angels and Let Me Entertain You the album does have to its credit two of Robbie’s biggest and more acceptable hits. And Old Before I Die is kinda good and positive even though it’s a bit of a slick n smarmy inversion of The Who’s My Generation. The rest of this album is just really lousy tryhard ultra-processed Britpop twaddle with crap melodies, crap lyrics and crap singing. Ego Agogo is a complete no no and Clean where Robbie is friends with Mr Sheen, meets the Queen and won’t be obscene is the foremost graduate of the She’s Electric school of shit songwriting. 2 stars because Angels is a good song and it doesn’t have Rudebox I guess.
4-Star Albums (135)
1-Star Albums (47)
All Ratings
Supergrass
3/5
Pretty solid album, plenty of decent tunes and lush textures and arrangements. The title track makes for a quite an epic opener until it just ends abruptly. Sun Hits The Sky and Richard III stand out as the most supreme songs in terms of catchiness and quality and there are a couple more that nearly match it but there isn’t quite a heavy hitter that I can put alongside Alright or Moving as true classics. Lots of cool synthy tones that weave well with the music but overall this bunch of songs just aren’t the most compelling. Circusy closer Sometimes I Make You Sad is kinda crappy. Album art is excellent.
Led Zeppelin
4/5
A veritably classic ‘classic rock’ double album with a fair bit of detritus but a very strong 4 overall. Lengthy but supreme middle-eastern flavoured Kashmir and In The Light shine out at as the most epic and majestic high points but it is quite choc-a-bloc with lots of good material like Ten Years Gone, sinisterly funky Trampled Underfoot and tantalising, tender throwaways like Bron-Yr-Aur so plenty to enjoy. In My Time Of Dying is an 11-minute blues grind which isn’t that interesting over its run time and Side D is mostly garbageland with Wanton Song the only thing really worth salvaging so about only 62% or so of this is truly a must-hear.
Carole King
4/5
Light, cosy 4 stars. Full to the rafters with lovely piano pop ballads but feels a bit plain after a while over the course of the album. I Feel The Earth Move and It’s Too Late firm favourites and definitive versions but a lot of these other classics that she originally wrote I tend to prefer by other artists. Smackwater Jack the one track I would cut back.
Talking Heads
3/5
Not really a big fan of Talking Heads or David Byrne and I find his yelpy delivery on Born Under Punches to be particularly annoying. Crosseyed And Painless doesn’t do much for me either but The Great Curve jumps out more- I quite like the extra frantic cartoon car-chase vibe and some of the dentist drill guitar tones that pop up here and elsewhere. Once In A Lifetime is a pretty wondrous, iconic highlight where everything clicks impeccably into place and I can admit is pretty great. The second half beyond that is a bit barren and it is just the dark, doomy stillness and despondency of closer The Overload standing out as the next most notable track even if it is a copy of Joy Division I Remember Nothing.
Radiohead
4/5
A proper 21st century classic filled with mostly phenomenal tracks but also a couple of crummy, cobwebby ones too. First half flows really well and is largely magnificent with overpoweringly bleak moods and brilliant, inspired embracing of avant garde and electronic genres. Second half is a lot more disjointed with Optimistic and Idioteque being clear masterful highlights. In Limbo is one of the more rubbishy songs and Motion Picture Soundtrack is somewhat of a letdown closer so overall the album kinda drifts apart and loses itself somewhere in 4 star land.
Hüsker Dü
2/5
Pretty tough to get through. It’s about 70 minutes, 20 songs and most of them sound the same. Vocals sound creaky in a Roy Woodish kind of way and the riffs just do the same sludgy thrashy jangle kinda thing. Standing In The Rain jumps out early on as a quality tune but after that highlights were hard to find. Actual Condition has a slight retro rockabilly 50s diner feel that doesn’t really fit and probably the song I liked the least. 2.5 stars.
Songhoy Blues
3/5
Okayish desert blues. Rich, earthy, fairtrade sound but none of the songs really grabbed me and the vocals weren’t quite my bag. A 1001 album I wouldn’t mind too much if it was playing at a coffee shop. 3 macchiatos out of 5.
Ice Cube
3/5
Good beats. Bad skits. Has at least one top drawer song with It Was A Good Year.
Meat Puppets
2/5
A bit of a rough listen. First song sounds like Emo Philips going berserk. At least it’s fairly short and the instrumental to vocal ratio is pretty generous. End of Plateau is cool and there’s the odd nice Canyonero riff and Turkey In The Straw solo here and there.
Pulp
4/5
Solid album. Definitely one of the more essential Britpop releases and Jarvis and band feel at the top of their game here. Common People still an all-timer, frankly different class but Mis-shapes, Disco 2000 and Something’s Changed are quite excellent as well. There are couple of lowlights - the spacey, spoken word verses on FEELINGCALLEDLOVE are a bit of a drag and I Spy goes for a Leonard Cohen Takes Manhattan/Gloria Gaynor I Will Survive combo which doesn’t 100% work for me.
Garbage
3/5
Pretty dated production with lots of slightly limp techno dance beats and gimmicky effects particularly on the first track with the harsh, sucking gated gaps of silence. There a few pretty good songs and I do like Shirley’s suave, slightly snarly Madonna vocals but really it is just Stupid Girl that is the standout for me. 6.0
TV On The Radio
4/5
Pretty cool listen. Chock full of loads of divergent styles from indie, electronica, pop, funk, afrobeat and occasionally elegant chamber music. All blended masterfully but with mainly with Radiohead and Lenny Kravitz vibes protruding. Opener is great, instantly hooky and whilst the music is consistently sleek and creative and cleanly produced I wasn’t pulled in again until Red Dress and then album started clicking. Solemn vocal riff on Love Dog got me thinking of Toto I Will Remember. DLZ big heavy highlight towards the end. Overall a strong 00s entry and one I would go back to.
The Beach Boys
5/5
A most resplendent album spooling with genius, out-of-this-world vocal harmonies and orchestrations. On balance a very tight collection of songs about innocent teenage inner conflict and romance co-crafted with guest lyricist Tony Asher. Absolutely groundbreaking for its time and still sounds so fantastic today. Wouldn’t It Be Nice, Sloop John B, God Only Knows and I Just Wasn’t Made For These Times feel most supreme and just explode with greatness but still there is so much to love here.
The Killers
4/5
Not the world’s most impressive or exciting band but they delivered the goods with this 00s indie classic. Great synthpop elements and some of the catchiest, most prevalent songs and hooks of the decade. First half has the bulk of all the iconic singles whereas in the second half the quality control goes a bit awry. On Top and woozy synthfest closer Everything Will Be Alright are slightly grander album cuts whereas Change Your, Believe Me Natalie just plain suck. UK tracklist has Glamorous Indie Rock And Roll stuck in the middle of the album and is like chucking in a hand grenade of clunky riffs and bad autotune. An album whereas at least 7 of the 11 tunes are absolutely excellent.
Gillian Welch
3/5
Nice soothing dollop of country folk. Immaculately crafted and prettily sung but a bit too gentle and not that captivating. Kinda ordinary songs that don’t really jump out. No Free Birds or Stairway To Heavens in this collection.
Donovan
3/5
Has a couple of notable classics that open each half with the title song and Season Of The Witch. There are some enjoyable light, medieval textures throughout along with Donovan’s wispy, freakay, Bowiesque-before-Bowie troubadouring. There are also a couple too many song that lack any kind of colour or magic though so it ends up being a patchy listen. 3.5 stars.
3/5
Quite overrated imo. Starts off great with Victoria but rest of the album is a slog. Neither any of the tunes or the story are that interesting to me. Brainwashed has a bit more rock bite and build up in Shangri-La is ok but nothing spectacular. I don’t really like the jokey, mugging, vaudeville style of singing that Ray Davies puts on occasionally during this.
Fatboy Slim
4/5
Big, beaty tour de force. A couple of absolutely slamming tunes in Right Here Right Now and Praise You and Gangsta Trippin also good. Also love the skewiff funky vibe of Fucking in Heaven. Middle stretch of the album is less poppy and more of a clobbering dance workout and not as strong. The exotic Love Island and epic Acid 8000 make for a triumphant pair of closing tracks though.
Nitin Sawhney
2/5
First off a real eyesore album cover. Kind of like The Bends done in a drab Massive Attack 100th Window style.
Music is actually a pretty cool mix of all sorts of stuff from soul ballads, trip hop, drum n bass, jazz, TV soundtracks, Hindistani rap and classical. A bit like Protection by Massive Attack but with the added Rubber Biscuit Hindustani rap and classical. Unfortunately it’s all bit soupy and generic sounding. Songs are not really that interesting and most of the styles except for the novel worldy bits have definitely been done better on other records. 2.5 stars
The Residents
1/5
No ducks were harmed (I think) but my ears certainly were. This was actively atrocious. Most of the songs were annoying, pitch-shifted limericks or vocal tics given wonky synth treatment and sounded like 1930s Merry Melodies from Hell. At a push Blue Rosebuds was slightly weird, soft and dreamlike in a Doors End Of The Night/Eraserhead kinda way at least for the first minute so until the high-pitched vocals came in again and ruined it. Lizard Lady had kinda fun lyrics and story although I didn’t like any of the vocal delivery and second half again amped up the terribleness. Cool album cover.
Muddy Waters
3/5
I guess that’s why they call it the blues... because is this pretty good blues. Good band. Good live recording. Good to check out but nothing I love too much. I Got My Mojo Working parts 1 and 2 is probably best segment. 3.5 stars.
Shack
2/5
Pleasant enough but certainly not life-affirming album from an indie folk band trying to sound like oasis most of the time. Songs are simply OK and are quickly forgotten but it is quite richly arranged most of the time with strings, horns and the odd wall of guitar noise. So most of the time it sounds good except for the chopped off ending of Streets Of Kenny and the annoying one-note trumpet solo in Re-Instated. And vocals are a bit stodge Cast as well. So yeah, the only memorable elements here are the bad parts. 2.5 stars. HMS Fable should be a shipwreck in a sea of obscurity yet has weirdly been salvaged for this 1001 series.
Pavement
2/5
Not a fan of the first half at all. Just a nasty racket with sub-Weezer songs mixed with elements of Slint and other noise rock crap. Second half starting from Loretta’s Scars was a lot better and more tuneful actually. Quite a few pleasant songs pleasantly sung and performed. 2.0 for first side and 3.5 for second side so 2.75 overall.
Big Brother & The Holding Company
4/5
Straightforward classic with immensely raw blues rock sound and phenomenal singing from Janis Joplin throughout. Amazing artwork and featuring top notch songs such as Piece Of My Heart and others.
The Go-Go's
3/5
This debut from the 80s all-girl new wave group would have been quite good if all of the songs didn’t feel so plain and average. I know there were hits but there wasn’t anything that jumped out as quality or even being properly distinctive and memorable. Literally is just plain all-girl new wave-sound and no keeper songs. The Bangles afterwards would do a much grander job. 3 stars because technically not bad, just average.
Lupe Fiasco
2/5
Kinda passable conscious hip hop palaver over some poppy and approachable but fairly dated 00s production. There’s a few punchy, catchy highlights early on like with Kick, Push but a lot of the beats afterwards are quite subpar and skippable and choice of sample for Daydreaming is really eye-rolling and overfamiliar. And at the end Lupe forgets what liner notes are for and gives 12 minutes of shout outs to everyone he can think of. A mega patchy 2 and half stars.
Frank Black
1/5
Big chore of an album with nothing coming close to the best Pixies songs. First few tracks are absolute pain and torture and whilst it does become more listenable as it goes on it’s still about 20 tracks too long. 1.99 stars.
The Temptations
3/5
The first half is good because Papa Was A Rolling Stone is such a classic and takes up a good 75% of the runtime and lyrical theme of Run Charlie, Run is quite loaded let’s say. Second half is really not memorable at all so it lands somewhere between high 3 and low 3.5.
Destiny's Child
1/5
Has a clutch of famous songs at the start that range from good to naff but still kind of good that I’ve heard on the radio a million times anyway. After that the quality tanks faster than Tank Girl leading a charge of tanks off a cliff. Just empty, soulless R & B dreck and cynical, lazy filler.
Donald Fagen
5/5
One of the most immaculately produced albums of all time and also a complete lyrical masterclass. Just a really wry, astute but also loving send up of growing up in 50s surburbia set to the smoothest of 80s sonic landscapes. IGY is one of the most perfect and uplifting yet sharply ironic songs of all time and Walk Between The Raindrops a fabulous and bittersweetly emotional send-off. Title song also another incredible, hook-laden individual highlight. Even if the music is potentially too slick at times, the wonderfully observed themes, lyrics and overarching album concept makes this a record that keeps giving and giving.
Roxy Music
4/5
So Bryan Ferry’s Goat Dracula croon and the raging, piercing, headachey sax playing isn’t always that pleasurable but this is a pretty rich sprawling slab of art rock with lots of suspenseful build-ups and opulent backdrops and textures that clash high-class with the hideous. Definitely takes a few listens to absorb. Do The Strand is the most immediate by far but Editions Of You with its splenetic fireworks synth and Grey Lagoons are also great rockers. The Bogus Man is a super tetchy funk groove/atonal jam that goes on forever but it’s really just the title track where the outro lingers on past its welcome.
OutKast
2/5
A smattering of good tracks - Hey Ya, The Way You Move and maybe Roses. Not a great ratio for a 40 track collection. Even though it gets very eclectic, something about OutKast’s style I find very tacky and annoying and too often the songs just sound ghastly. 2.5 stars.
Elliott Smith
4/5
Nice, easy, soothing, classic 90s listen. Everything feels quite pared down and intimate and Elliott’s whimpery, eggy vocals tend to blend in softly and superbly with the extra-delicate folk. There are light strains of Beatlesesque and S+G melodies and harmonies and also some spikes of spikey angsty angst rock to mix it up. So a by and large mellow record with a razors edge at times. Between The Bars easy standout quality wise early on and then a strong sequence of tracks towards the end. Either a mid 4 or a high 4.
Ian Dury
3/5
Kinda underwhelming listen. I like quite a few Ian Dury and the Blockheads songs but none of them seem to feature here on the original tracklist. Lyrics are slightly amusing throughout and First song Wake Up And Make Love With Me is a strong seedy opener but music-wise everything else is somewhat moth-eaten and needs chucking out for a different pub-rock wardrobe. Light 3.0.
The Velvet Underground
3/5
Partial classic. Partial sham. There are some sweet, tender melodies like on the first track and the stripped back, lo-fi production and stylisms still sound very cool and modern but many of the songs are actually too minimal and humdrum and plod on forever. The Slinty sound collage piece The Murder Mystery is also just repetitive and annoying. The Ain’t Misbehavin’ style jazz number at the end with Moe the drummer singing is almost cute.
King Crimson
4/5
Not exactly top tier Crimson but still really good. Every track called Larks’ Tongue In Aspic is especially excellent. Slightly meandering with the middle bunch of tracks.
Doves
3/5
A most of the time mid-quality Oasis/Coldplay combo. There a few fairly strong tunes like Break Me Gently, Catch The Sun and The Cedar Room which have richer arrangements and more melody and feeling but everything else is a bit ordinary and blah and fading to grey where the band are less like Doves and more like Pigeons. Somewhere between 3.0 and 3.5.
Ryan Adams
3/5
Big, beaming bronze medal collection of alt-country/heartland indie. Tracks are crisp and clean yet rootsy as well and most of the songs are of a fairly good quality. When The Stars Go Blue and Nowhere Girl shine best. Ryan Adams has a certain blandness as a singer though and his songs are often a bit too slickly spun and don’t really have genuine emotional pull. It almost is authentic but isn’t quite. Most of it does sound like generic music that would be plonked somewhere in a special episode of Scrubs, The OC or Dawsons Creek.
Blur
4/5
Scraggy, smack-induced, Pavement-inspired semi-comeback after their burnout with Britpop on The Great Escape. This holds up much better and is a great record overall, kickstarting with two of their most iconic and enduring singles with the Beatlesy Beetlebum and sports arena mainstay Song 2. There’s cool, lo-fi slacker elements on Ballad Of A Country Sad Man and Graham Coxon ballad You’re So Great, tinge of techno on thumping, titanic On Your Own, haunted pier vibes on Theme From Retro and Death Of A Party, a burly blast of Bowie Boys Keep Swining rip-off on M.O.R and grisly urban/East End safari on experimental closer Essex Dogs. First half has all the hits but album is loaded with solid tunage from practically start to end and still sounds fresh and modern. 4.5 stars.
King Crimson
4/5
4 of the most legendary and timeless prog rock and music rock songs of all time. Plus Moonchild.
Travis
4/5
Before Coldplay came along and knocked them off their perch, Travis were the best post-Britpop tunesmiths around and this here Man Who probably counts as their magnum opus. Going for it is a light, shimmery indie sound inspired by classic Radiohead and a batch of really excellent evergreen singles. Writing To Reach You, Driftwood, Why Does It Always Rain On Me? and Turn all bang in a kinda awesome but wussy way. 3rd track As You Are is also a grower, starting with streaks of I Would Like To Teach The World To Sing and then a bit of added epic Radiohead growl. If there is a downside to the album is that many of its deep cuts are simply too sleepy and relaxed and it judders to a halt actually with closer Slide Show. Bonus Track Blue Flashing Lights the band show all their claws though in a raucous spitting tale of domestic disturbance. 4 stars.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Almost prime Stevie, coming after Innervisions except not nearly as loaded with big hitters. Songs range from fantastic, fair and forgettable. This should make for a patchy record but sound is so mellow and breezy throughout it makes for an overall pleasant listen and is often really delectable with the rising harmonies on Smile Please and woozy synths and even more dreamy harmonies on Creepin being the tastiest highlights . 4 stars.
Buena Vista Social Club
3/5
Pretty cool Cuban jazz record with lots of nifty playing and some of the best Exotic Socialista Hotel singing on it. 3.75 Cuban Cigars out of 5.
Steely Dan
5/5
One of the most immaculate and masterful albums of all time. Title song when it takes off is full-on transcendence and is like a jazz-rock Stairway To Heaven. Peg is the feel good hit of every summer. And Deacon Blues has just the best lyrics and could very well be my own theme tune.
Roni Size
2/5
Really dated collection of cold sterile drum and bass. There’s the occasional fine groove like on Brown Paper Bag and ok vocal features like on the title track. There is a distinct lack of warmth, variety and musical interest across the project though. Really is just repetitive breakbeats and lifeless video game menu music. Also the runtime is merciless. Album is practically neverending. Discs of this are like Hydra. I attempted to start disc 2 but my mind just got frazzled very quickly after the intro.
David Bowie
3/5
Super iconic early 70s Bowie album. The one after Ziggy Stardust. One of his artiest yet glammiest and rocking. It’s also pretty hokey and uneven with just a couple of glorious tunes like Drive-In Saturday and Jean Genie. St*nes cover Let’s Spend The Night Together is a proper rollicking highlight as well. Title song is actually hideous and definite lowlight for me. 3.5 stars.
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
4/5
Nice bustling British blues classic and important stepping stone album for John McVie of Fleetwood Mac and Eric Clapton before he became God. Great tunes. Great playing. Great vibes. Good album art. A lot of blues indeed were broken out. 4 stars.
Eagles
4/5
Incredibly front-loaded with the ultimate best song and all the other hits right at the start. Becomes a less alluring stay the longer it goes on with Pretty Maids All In A Row offering terrible room service. A four star hotel because of the excellent first half and Victim Of Love and Last Resort are pretty good as well.
Pink Floyd
5/5
One of the all-time great rock operas despite straddling a real fine line in the 2nd half of not being that good. Super ambitious with phenomenal highs like Hey You, Mother and Comfortably Numb and also Run Like Hell and One Of My Turns. It’s not a totally watertight classic despite being practically the Roger Waters show and there are some pretty rotten bricks towards the end like The Trial. 4.5 stars rounded up to 5 for the site.
The Byrds
4/5
Outta sight 60s psych folk record with a couple of truly evergreen cuts like 8 Miles High and Mr Spaceman and some richly orchestrated deeper cuts like John Riley. Not a lot to throw for the birds here except for the atypically average Hey Joe cover.
ABBA
3/5
Appropriate that they’re in a helicopter on the album cover because the quality of the tracklist gets almightily choppy. Singles like Dancing Queen, Knowing Me, Knowing You and Money x3 outshine a hundredfold the rest of the songs which are at best pleasant or not even slightly pleasant at all like on the track where one of the two blokes takes over lead vocal duties. Light 3.5 stars.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Some of the most powerful and masterfully produced singles in all of popular music. Probably should get 6 or 7 stars for title song alone but it does get pretty flimsy right towards the end of the album. Bye Bye Love means bye bye half a star so 4.5 overall. Still a strong 4.5 though.
Joni Mitchell
4/5
Basically a truly excellent record if it weren’t for Joni’s vocals being so shrill and birdsongy. It’s ear-stabbing when she’s happy and flips to her highest register which makes upbeat tracks like All I Want and California total minefields. This Flight Tonight is pretty cool and folk-poppy despite the voice. The moodier and more sullen tracks like Blue and softer, pleasantier ones like Little Green are so pretty and A Case Of You really shines as the best overall song. A very conditional 4 stars because of the musical quality throughout.
Tears For Fears
5/5
Two regular gothy synthpop dudes strike up the courage to make one of the landmark albums of the 80s and maybe the greatest album of the century perhaps. It’s a production extravaganza with a luxuriance of whirring, grinding, despairing synth mixed with more relaxed, natural and polished instrumental tones and Orzabal and Smith are on super top form vocally as well. Featuring a trio of hugely successful singles and top of the lungs anthems which land so monumentally in a tracklist that is insanely tight and magnificently sequenced. A lot variety as well from the monstrous, mechanical stadium synth rock of Mothers Talk and Broken to the beautiful smooth jazz anguish of The Working Hour and the meditativeness of I Believe and more mystical closer Listen. Easy 5 stars.
Tom Waits
2/5
Just a bunch of silly Sesame Street bordello songs and Halloween tunes. Feels like puppets are singing and playing along to every clink clank beat and junkyard rhythm. Even prettier ballads like Time, Downtown Train and Blind Love are a bit comically overwrought and hard to take totally seriously. The vocals on Blind Love are absolutely outrageous by the way. Like the Cookie Monster trying to crap out a massive boulder. The last song Anywhere I Lay My Head is the Cookie Monster crapping out another boulder whilst transforming into a werewolf with Last Post military brass playing underneath. Super eclectic overall but sunk to 2.5 stars because half the tracks are really annoying.
Fleetwood Mac
4/5
High points on album - euphoric ‘bow bow bow’ bits on Second Hand News. The Formula One section on The Chain. The divine heavenly background harmonies on disco romp/affair You Make Loving Fun. Has a clutch of singles like Don’t Stop, Dreams and Go Your Own Way which are so overplayed and yet still so good. Definitely helps the album that the romantic crossfire hurricane behind the making of the album is so legendary because there are a couple of songs or so that aren’t nearly as high quality or as interesting. Songbird is a robustly boring, typical pretty ballad that Nigel Tufnel rewrote a few years later and called Lick My Love Pump. Oh Daddy and Gold Dust Woman right at the end are a touch too atmospheric and the combination of them brings the album down to a whimper. It’s these 3 songs plus the overplayedness of the main hit singles that curtail these most pervasive of Rumours from being an all time favourite.
Sister Sledge
3/5
Big old bunch of occasionally catchy disco masterminded Nile Rodgers/Bernie Edwards of Chic. They strike gold on He’s The Greatest Dancer which electrifies on every level and has hooks for days. We Are Family the title song is not gold at all in fact is horrible and cheesy but is also about as famous and as catchy. Nothing else is really as spectacular or as memorable and these sisters are also not the greatest singers so it can get pretty dull beyond the hits.
Van Morrison
3/5
Sleek, soulful and sometimes even snazzy like on the snazz-jazz title track which is a shoe-in for top 10 songs that use the word ‘fantabulous’. Caravan is great. Come Running is great. Into The Mystic a bit overrated. Album gets more rag tag towards the end. Everyone a bit repetitious and out of place stab at baroque pop. 3.5 stars.
The La's
3/5
More like the La Di Da’s. Has one awesome Britpop-influencing ‘1001 songs you must hear’ type song in There She Goes but nothing else comes close to matching it so the album is overall quite the disappointment. Very sixties revivalist and if it was released back then it would have been called There She Goes and 11 Other Songs.
Billy Joel
5/5
From first moment to practically last this is piano pop perfection. Songs are so catchy and buoyant and there is such little let up. It’s Thriller-esque in that everything could have been a hit single. It’s loaded with a tonne of McCartneyisms but a lot of other variety as well including the cinematic title song, samba of Get It Right The First Time, street folk in Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, the Dylanesque She’s Always A Woman, gospel closer Everybody Has A Dream and world’s best love song that even Paul McCartney wishes he wrote in Crazy Frog err I mean Just The Way You Are. Fair to say that Billy Joel is on peak form here.
Talking Heads
3/5
Kinda cool but scrappy debut offering with herky jerky riffs and annoying vocals as is always the case with this band and below par production. Songwriting is bit random and terms of hit rate percentage it’s more like 33.5. Psycho Killer is easily the best of the rabble with The Book I Read and No Compassion the next most goodish tunes.
Elis Regina
4/5
Probably 3.5 stars because there are a couple of shaky songs mainly when some other rough random dude starts singing. Plus also because of doubts about whether this is an actual studio album. Bumped up to 4 for the site because overall it’s such a lush, vibrant listen with good melodies, good playing, good singing and smooth tangs of 80s tropical jazz synth. João Camel-approved.
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Super snazzy jazzy debut with big sexy clash of 00s neo soul and retro 50s styles. Kind of more along the lines of ‘promising debut’ rather than true 1001 material and probably Amy’s second best album but still, amazing voice and lots of greatness and spiritedness swishing around in here also.
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
Certainly not wrong about ‘infinite’. There’s so many songs to wade through here. I got bored after about 7. Plus you have the constant, painful Billy Corgan screech and whine to contend with. Some nice symphonic elements and 1979 is on here but overall getting through this double album is completely torturous.
Giant Sand
2/5
More like ‘Bore of Enchantment’… oh wait, that doesn’t sound much worse than its current name. ‘Snore of Encrapment’? Either way this is a very lacklustre, completely non-essential album. The closest thing slacker and alt-country has to Shack. And because it was officially taken off the 1001 list I didn’t even have to listen to it anyway.
Happy Mondays
4/5
A good time capsule record. Like Life On Mars-ing to the grottiest, dingiest Madchester nightclub, investigating and hanging out with all the lowlife and having a mildly decent time. Chief gargoyle Shaun Ryder comes up with lots of memorable lines and you really hear chief dancer Bez’s contributions too. Gold is struck on the super ravey, earwormy and iconic Step On along with Lady Marmalade rip-off Kinky Afro and Loose Fit. The rest is generally ok but not especially catchy and it’s mainly helped by the dance beats which do tend to be more comedownish than partytastic. Grandbag’s Funeral and Bob’s Yer Uncle probably the two other main highlights. Low 4 stars.
“You’re twisting my Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, man”
Linkin Park
2/5
Like a teeny tots version of Rage Against The Machine with baby’s first DJ turntables and aw diddums screamo vocals flying around. After just a few tracks I felt like I was melting back into being an angsty teenager and almost tripped over a skateboard that had magically grown over the process of listening to this. Some legit awful tracks with the most cluttered, churned, plastic production and the best songs like Crawling and In The End aren’t even songs anymore if they ever were, just memes. Kind of almost look back on it fondly because it was such a big part of the music fabric at the time however cringy. Singles off of Meteora are better though.
The Crusaders
3/5
The title track features the grand Randy Crawford, was used on the Jackie Brown soundtrack and is a scorcher of a funky disco soul anthem even if it is stretched for miles beyond its natural length. The rest of the album is immaculate, smoothalicious, background jazz funk of a very high order. Overall, not quite an uptown offering but still a virtuous showing from these coffee shop Crusaders. 3.5 stars.
My Bloody Valentine
4/5
Great debut album that stands a little small now in the loom of Loveless. Music is coolly shambolic and is like a mix of Dinosaur Jr, Smiths, Velvet Underground, Jesus And Mary Chain and good Sonic Youth. (When You Wake) You’re Still In A Dream and Feed Me With Your Kiss have the best energy and are awesome rock-outs and riff fests but most these tracks are either super fun or bizarrely pretty and ethereal. The 1-2 of No More Sorry and All I Need are kind of sucky and astringent though. I Can See It (But I Can’t Feel It) right at the end is a seriously blissed dreampop nugget.
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Juju, “an object that has been deliberately infused with magical power or the magical power itself”. I’d say that magic was strewn across this album a little unevenly with Spellbound, Halloween and Monitor easily the biggest highlights and a couple too many deadweight songs mainly in the back half. For the most part even with the songs not always being that catchy this is a decently atmospheric, unnerving listen with lots of nice, wiry Brillo pad of guitar, rumbly thunderous percussion and plenty of gothy, waily, tribally goodness. 3.5 stars.
Fishbone
2/5
Very vibrant blast of funk metal as well as reggae, ska and even early skater punk. And it is kinda cool except that it is just really cheesy and dated and more often than not the songs are super lame and annoying. It’s almost like Faith No More joining forces with Was (Not Was) and coming up with more songs like Walk The Dinosaur except not as good. There could also be snatches of Cult Of Personality if it was by Living Off-Colour. The cover of Freddie’s Dead at the start is a complete bungle. There are occasionally okayish party jams throughout but Bonin’ In The Boneyard is not one of them. 2.5 stars
Hanoi Rocks
1/5
More like Hanoi Sucks. Getting through this was tough. Every song plays like super rubbishy, not at all glamorous early glam punk metal but they’re all like 5 minutes long and I wanted to get the first plane ticket out of this Mystery City pretty much instantly.
Cheap Trick
3/5
A goodish live album with one song everybody knows anyway in I Want You To Want Me. All the others are hardly America’s most wanted and the same Japan crowd probably went crazier for the Carpenters as well.
Nick Drake
5/5
Perfect Moon even if it is just a man and guitar along with a single overdubbed piano line. Simple, beautiful melodies and the most intricate, spellbinding fingerstyle guitar work. Manages to flip from completely bleak, barren and doldrums-like to intensely warm, hopeful inspiring with the same minimal guitary ingredients. Tortured and yet so tranquil sounding at same time. Strikes such a consistently rich and powerful mood throughout and is not a moment too long or too short even at a usually paltry 26 minutes because it’s so condensed with brilliant songs. Truly folk at its peak and an album to eclipse virtually all others.
The Cure
2/5
More like ‘Snorenography’. It starts off quite menacing and nicely evil sounding but that song and every one after it just turns out to be super repetitive, droning and tedious. Not a whole lot of, or rather, any melodies to be found here and Robert Smith yelp singing is way more annoying that it usually is. Some cool wiry guitar lines that are basically copied and pasted from Joy Division Closer.
Big Star
4/5
A true power pop classic. Easily the #1 Record that Big Star have done. Shines blindingly bright with its ballads which are of the bestest order. Feel, The Ballad Of El Goodo, In The Street, Thirteen, When My Baby’s Beside Me, Give Me Another Chance and Watch The Sunrise all S-tier. My Life Is Right, Try Again and Ringo track India Song somewhere between A-minus and B tier. 4.5 big stars.
Nirvana
4/5
Cool acousticy album. Cool setlist and versions. Ladbaby cover at the end is cool.
fIREHOSE
3/5
Nice bit of random, wiry, angular indie rock from the 80s. Songs range from humdrum to o hey that’s pretty good. Highlight is What Gets Heard where Harry S Plinkett is on lead vocals.
Sonic Youth
1/5
Absolutely terrible. A dull, grey 70-minute musical wasteland. Noam Chomsky wrote a book about ‘Failed States’ and I think Daydream Nation was listed as one of them. 1.5 stars.
Madness
3/5
No rising or falling, just a lot of ‘Midness’. House Of Fun is still a bop but really the only Madness record worth checking out is their Greatest Hits.
Franz Ferdinand
3/5
Fitfully decent 00s dance punk with slight Art Deco Talking Heads and Bowie croony thing going on. Unlike the real Archiduke Franz Ferdinand I wasn’t really struck or blown away. In terms of best songs. I would take out Jacqueline (even though she’s seventeen), marry Take Me Out and push the rest off a cliff.
Frank Sinatra
5/5
Just exquisite. Perfect heartbreak album. One of the greatest voices of all time. The first album on the 1001 list chronologically speaking and arguably not bettered until 1989 when The Blue Nile recorded Hats.
The Sonics
3/5
Mid-60s proto punk/Nirvana record. Sounds a bit like Surfin Bird but with more screaming and leagues lower recording quality. Whereas early Kinks singles are mint examples of proto punk this is much more ridiculous and novelty and kinda rubbishy. Interesting in certain ways but I probably won’t be getting the 60th anniversary reissue when it comes out.
Count Basie & His Orchestra
3/5
As Louis Balfour on the Fast Show would say, “…Nice!”
The Streets
4/5
A grand don’t come for free, it come for four! An easy four stars for this exemplary, ambitious, high-cultured hip-hopera. Dry Your Eyes one of the top ballads of the century and Fit But You Know It a Parklife for the 00s.
Bee Gees
1/5
Nevermind Trafalgar. This felt more like The Hundred Years War. It is such a tremendous slog with one murderously dull and wretched folksy symphonic cornball ballad after another and not one disco hit in sight. The music is already pretty lame anyway but the Gibbs bros manage to serve up a truly bizarre and horrendous set of vocals with Robin especially pushing the boat out here. Robin has some really stiff and weird delivery going on with When Do I and with the chintzy oompah eurovisiony arrangement it does give me serious Edvard Khil trololo vibes except it’s not fun or uplifting in anyway and on the histrionic Lion In Winter he sounds like Roger Daltrey with a buzzard in his throat whilst running around after catching fire. 1.5 stars.
Julian Cope
2/5
A challenging album to get into. Julian Cope’s deep, often tuneless voice does grate quite often and even though there’s so many different styles swirling around here there’s just not much in the way of quality songwriting so this act of throwing a hundred things against a wall and trampling over it in monotone boots comes off as super indulgent and messy. And crushingly long. 2.5 stars.
The Cure
4/5
Super icy early 80s goth/post-punk. So icy you could take the album and use it as a miniature ice rink. Not a particular masterpiece although it does have mostly good songs, an intensely sparse and chilly and kinda wonderful atmosphere throughout and also the best Cure track with A Forest. Light 4 stars.
ABBA
4/5
The last ABBA album before their first dissolution and it’s actually pretty solid. It’s not exactly loaded with fire and doesn’t have any iconic hits but there is still a lot of general yummy synthpoppy goodness and a super cool classy standout ballad towards the end with Slipping Through My Fingers. The title track opener is a great whirring bit of electrodisco about the secret police. Soldiers has a real bouncing infectious, almost prowling safari like groove. Head Over Heels is a kinda cheesy 80s game show theme however. One Of Us is the most poppiest normal thing on here and is technically on ABBA Gold which I forgot about. Favourite ones are possibly the B-sides/extra tracks not on here like Should I Laugh Or Cry and The Day Before You Came which are both brilliant productions. Light 4 stars.
The Beta Band
3/5
Cool band. Album cover is cool.
Sly & The Family Stone
2/5
Mouldy grandpa funk from the 60s with some supercharged phases but also muffled production, corny pocketful of posies pop melodies and vocals and some absolutely atrocious extended jamming which means that it doesn’t really stand up as a full decent album.
Jane's Addiction
4/5
Not that huge a fan of Perry Farrell’s vocals, it can have the effect of a long jet of skunk spray over a song but this is actually a pretty groovy rock album with constantly excellent guitar and really improves with the longer trippier, more drawn out songs towards the end.
Public Enemy
3/5
Certainly no enemies when it comes to making classic albums. Very trailblazing for the hip-hop genre with its mix of ferocious swag, punchy MCing, constant brutal blast of Bomb Squad beats and firebrand politics. A fully rambunctious listen from start to end and maybe a tad samey because of that and also a tinge dated sounding but still a classic. 4 yeah boii’s out of 5. EDIT: Actually on further thoughts, maybe only 3.5 yeah boii’s out of 5.
Belle & Sebastian
3/5
Pretty humdrum, lightweight work. Has a dash of Smiths, Simon & Garfunkel and 60s easy listening but just feels like a sterile mixture and also all so twee. Songs and chord changes are usually pretty dull. Singer’s voice is a bit of a constant annoyance, almost has that Nick Drake wisp but with no fragility or emotion and is probably more like David St Hubbins singing We Are The Flower People. Instrumentation throughout is generally cool and relaxed although for some reason the trumpet solos set my teeth on edge. Mayfly with its Telstar flavours for its solo is probably my favourite track. Low 3.
Elvis Costello
4/5
His aim is decent. It’s not exactly his grand masterwork (that would be either Armed Forces a few years later or Painted From Memory with Burt Bacharach in 1998) but this is a good debut and introduction to Costello with pockets of sharp shooting, snarly brilliance from the off like Welcome To The Working Week and other tuneful highlights such as Alison, Red Shoes and I’m Not Angry. And reggae-rific best song Watching The Detectives which was originally a non-album single. Light 4.
Nine Inch Nails
3/5
Big fan of the synthpoppier Pretty Hate Machine and Closer on here is my kind of jam but even though it is considered something of NIN’s absolute masterpiece it is way too rackety and abrasive with very few tunes that I actually like. The remix album featuring Spyro The Dragon called The Downward Spyro is way better.
Cocteau Twins
5/5
Overwhelmingly exquisite and to an outstandingly effervescent degree. The guitar effects are a constantly fizzying masterclass and the songs are a mixture of crazily beautiful and uplifting to completely chilling and haunting. I feel like I am swimming in a lost underwater kingdom filled entirely with cherry cola and a mermaid siren is singing the most gorgeous indecipherable melodies.
Black Sabbath
3/5
Some rocking highlights but Changes is a pretty dopey ballad and back half of the record is a bit of a slog. Snowblind is probably the best song here but Snowbound by Donald Fagen is more my thing. Black Sabbath Vol 3.5.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Hey man, this Hendrix chap is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty,, pretty, pretty, pretty good. UK version with bonus tracks for the best sequencing.
Dolly Parton
1/5
Not exactly my ideal power trio. After The Jimi Hendrix Experience the previous day, moving on to this is like going from a bottle of fine Johnnie Walker Blue to a manky bowl of rice pudding that’s about a year or five out of date. Bland by design but also extremely gross. For a group that features Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt is the one with the worst hairpiece with those Eddie Munster/Lazytown stylings.
The Undertones
2/5
Not exactly ‘Blundertones’ but having this on the list is definitely a bit of a bungle. Really ordinary. Not catchy enough to be pop. Not cool enough to be punk. Ugly cover. Their one great track Teenage Kicks isn’t on here and apparently not on their other 1001 album (???) and I don’t even like the song that much. Maybe the debut is a more legitimate entry but certainly not this. A bit sad that the best thing by miles is an average cover of Under The Boardwalk.
John Lennon
4/5
A solo album from the main Beatles dude that is filled with mostly good songs. Imagine that! Highlights are Imagine, Jealous Guy and Paul McCartney love letter How Do You Sleep?
Baaba Maal
2/5
Call Me NOT Djam Leelii but I wasn’t really that keen on ‘adventuring’ into this. After a quick brisk through it, it seems like gently sinister or gently gentle background music for movies where the action lame or otherwise moves to a scene in Africa. Not awful but a bit boring and not really my ‘Djam’. 2.5 stars.
Saint Etienne
4/5
Nice breezy indie clubland listen that has two absolutely groovalicious choice cuts with the acid house cover of Only Love Can Break Your Heart and the resplendent pop euphoria of Nothing Can Stop Us Now. Plus also some more slender beautiful highlights with Spring and London Belongs To Me Now and the female vocals throughout the album tend to be pretty delish. It’s a bit fragmented by frequent TV and movie snippets as well as sudden bursts of ambient and the weaker tracks do feel a little too random and sketchy. Either a strong 3.5 or a low 4.0.
Elliott Smith
3/5
Nice, cool listen with Son Of Sam and L.A being the coolest cuts. Gets a bit samey and loses its lustre later on. Lop off about 4 or 5 songs and you have a much cooler, nicer album. I have the Goyte song stuck in my head because of Track 2.
Eels
5/5
Electro-Shock Blues and Blinking Lights And Other Revelations get even deeper and personal and are arguably more incredible works but this one is just a conventional set of great songs and definitely my go-to Eels album. On here they cultivate a nice, classic, easy-going, kinda Beckish alt-rock sound but the best songs are so much better and more meaningful and resonant than what Beck was doing with Odelay for example. Novocaine For The Soul is probably the most iconic and invigorating track and along with Susan’s House, My Beloved Monster and Your Lucky Day In Hell are amongst my favourite songs of the decade. Mental, Rags To Rags and Flower also very strong and Spunky, Manchild and title track splendid, supple, slender ballads. As well as the cool, cool, poppy beats, guitar and production, lyrically is where the album really shines. Every wry, woe-is-me couplet Mark Oliver Everett aka E fires out is pretty much pure humorous diamonds.
Dire Straits
5/5
Probably should be on a Mount Rushmore for classic Dad Rock albums. It’s in equal turns truly magnificent and monumentally dull. Money For Nothing has hooks for days (and outros for years) and is one of the tracks of the century. Gets gradually naffer as the disc wears on. Why Worry? is the silkiest and softest of snooze savannahs, stretching ridiculously for almost 9 minutes. Ride Across The River has a litany of cheesy dated keyboard sounds that make it sound like a blend of Indian Restaurant background music and an episode of CITV Jungle Run. There are a couple of relative wasteland songs near the end but Brothers In Arms brings it right up to classic status. Strong 4.5. Look at em yo-yos, that’s the way to do it… money for nothing and yer 5s for free.
Sparks
2/5
Kimono my house but don’t invite Russel Mael. His squally, super-theatrical dentist drill vocal stylings basically wreck the joint. Otherwise this would have been a fairly solid bunch of spiky and angular 70s glam pop. This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us and outro of Equator two main peaks of annoyance. 2.5 stars.
Paul Simon
4/5
Generally very good. A rich, buzzing tapestry of South African folk, freewheeling Paul Simon wisp and the pharpiest 80s bass. Boy In The Bubble, Graceland and You Can Call Me Al the main highlights and true songs of miracle and wonder.
Pere Ubu
1/5
Complete garbage. Nasty, screechy, plinky plonk, faux-experimental post-punk. At its best the songs sound like an inferior version of Television. At its worst it sounds like someone dropped a music junkyard off a Looney Tunes cliff. I couldn’t tell if the vocals were Peter Griffin, a brainslugged David Byrne from Talking Heads or a screeching Beaker from the Muppets. There’s a funny haywire moment on Life Stinks where it goes up an extra notch in intensity almost as if it was putting itself through a wood chipper. The ultimate nadir is probably Sentimental Journey which is like Joy Division’s I Remember Nothing but graced by the mumbly narration of Mr Plinkett and a thousand extra glass bottles and windows being smashed up.
The Police
4/5
The Police’s massively best-selling final album which also happens to be one of the most lop-sided in history. The A-side generally tends to be B-Tier Police or worse (much,much worse). The title track opener and O My God are fine but Walking In Your Footsteps and Steward Copeland aka Ringo song Miss Gradenko are pointless filler and Mother by guitarist Andy Summers is part primal scream therapy, part Norman Bates monologue and part Discipline by King Crimson gone wrong and is ear-shredding in its awfulness. In terms of being a jarring inclusion it’s like chucking a bouncing ball of machetes into a sea of pillows or a scene of Cannibal Holocaust in a cut of An Officer And A Gentleman before a large unsuspecting movie theatre audience. The last 5 songs starting with Synchronicity II are all solid gold and appear on The Police’s Greatest Hits anyway but I would give 4 stars here simply for the stacked brilliance of the second half. Even though the atrocity of Mother is hard to overlook, albums with King Of Pain, Every Breath You Take and Wrapped Around Your Finger can’t be 3 stars.
Depeche Mode
3/5
I love Pretty Hate Machine so this should be more my sort of thing and even though I like some of the beats and soundscape of Enjoy The Silence I just don’t dig that much of it. The version of Personal Jesus feels a little too plodding and dudes voice always is just a bit too dour.
Eminem
3/5
Basically a classic debut from the opening public service announcement to the end of 2nd track My Name Is. Beyond that nothing really has the same level of hooks, landing humour or pop appeal. Still probably Eminem’s 3rd or even 2nd best album at his terrible rate.
Pink Floyd
5/5
A pretty gargantuan gold-plated 5 star for sure. The first 8 minutes of Shine On You Crazy Diamond are grander than 1500 Mozart symphonies and maybe is the finest stretch in all of recorded music and the rest of the album is pretty great as well. Like a tumultuous epic voyage filled with the scrummiest mountain-sized pangs of sadness and regret and a great statement from the band about the music industry after the all-out success of Dark Side Of The Moon. Only 4.3 on the global charts… wish it were higher!
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
Aggravatingly average post-punk. Even the way they’re standing on the eyesore landscape and the cheap green font they use on the cover is irritating. Really lacking in tunes and doesn’t hold the slightest candle to Ocean Rain. 2.5 stars.
Neil Young
3/5
Pretty Chill. The second best album called On The Beach after Chris Rea.
Afrika Bambaataa
2/5
A collection of super musty and cobwebby early electro and hiphop stretching as far back as 1982. Planet Rock has that cool icy Kraftwerk interpolation and is a nice throwbacky listen for a few minutes but an entire album of this stuff is actually pretty nightmarish. Just incredibly cheesy and dated with iffy beats and whack flow.
Lambchop
2/5
Lambchop dude seems like a bit of a shyster. Takes a bunch of elevator country and soul and does completely interchangeable Kif Kroker-style wispy breathy mumble singing over it. There aren’t really any discernible melodies and the songs don’t tend to go anywhere. It’s mellow and listenable enough because of the easygoing music backdrop or at least until the falsetto starts and then it’s really hard to take the record seriously because it then turns into gushing ballads from a Miss Piggy/Audrey from Little Shop Of Horros/squeaking radiator hybrid creature. It adds a crazy level of cringe to what is otherwise a completely bland yet pitchfork approved faux quirky alt-country/indie album.
Prince
5/5
There are a few certainties in this world. Grass is green, Pope is catholic and Prince is the greatest musician to have ever walked the planet. And this is truly one of the all time great double albums. So fresh, funky, vibrant and eclectic with the heavy, politically conscious title track opener, hip hoppity Housequake, tinges of Daft Punky electro on Ballad Of Dorothy Parker, the badass genre bending chipmunk voice of Camille on the fantabulous, philosophical If I Was Your Girlfriend, religious soul searching with the acoustic rocker The Cross, the greatest house party and last hurrah of his former backing band The Revolution on It’s Gonna Be A Beautiful Night, classic rock fm/baseball anthems with Sheena Easton duet U Got The Look, a pantheon of feel good pop with Play In The Sunshine, Starfish and Coffee Strange Relationship and more as well as some of the slinkiest soul ever with the slushing scorchtastic closer Adore. Even though it’s a double, each disc is really tight and it all flows wonderfully. There’s little padding on this sexy beast. Easiest 5 stars ever.
Bon Jovi
4/5
“WOAH! WERE HALFWAY THERE WOAH!! LIVIN ON A PRAYER!!! TAKE MY HAND WELL MAKE IT I SWEAR WOAH! LIVIN ON A PRAYER!!!!!!”
With the extended number of albums on the 1001 list I’m probably only about a tenth of the way there but colossal everlastingly brill hair metal anthemry such as this does make it easier. Social Disease the one main iffier cut plus a few forgettable ones near the end and Raise Your Hands, Let It Rock and Wild In The Streets other top drawer songs besides the huge, hella fun hits.
Various Artists
3/5
A Christmas Gift that keeps on giving. Locked and loaded with tried and true Christmas hits and reinforced bombastically by his patented Wall Of Sound production, this splendorous seasonal showdown from Phil Spector is a complete bullseye. Minus 2 stars for holding my wife captive and shooting at my foot after a sharades game gone wrong an awful 15 Christmas’s ago.
The War On Drugs
4/5
A smoggy shoegazey Springsteenish spectacular for a good hour span, this starts off so spiffingly with supercharged widescreen epics like Under The Pressure and Red Eyes. And whilst it is generally strong throughout it does get deeply samey with all the constant smoggy, shoegazey widescreen Springsteenish epics. Still one of the standout releases from 2014 though.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Down By The River and Cowgirl In The Sand are mildly decent twitchy guitar epics but overall this debut from Neil Young with his Crazy Horse team tends to be duller than a dull day in Dull County. And things veer from dull to just dreadful with the painful screeching violinfest on Running Dry (Requiem For My Patience). 2.5 stars for that and for being so staggeringly overrated.
David Bowie
4/5
A pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good David Bowie album. Perhaps his first pretty good one that kickstarts the prettiest of 70s hot streaks. Probably only Pink Floyd and Steely Dan compare. Life On Mars? is a soaring, sensational standout. Changes, Oh You Pretty Things and Queen Bitch also top tier Bowie. It is not all Hunky Dory though. Eight Line Poem is a bit Hunky Snory whilst the Andy Warhol song and Belway Bros are incredibly Clunky Dory. Other than that though it’s pretty glamtastic and good.
Kelela
3/5
From top to bottom she is a bit of a stunner but from front to back this album is actually quite a letdown. It starts off so alluringly with a couple of extremely strong singles and she has such a smooth, silky voice with a sweltering swelterpit of synthy, clubbish RnB neo soul behind it. Unfortunately this sweltering swelterpit of neo soul goodness turns to completely vapid smush about 3 tracks in as no more actual different beats or grooves or songs are brought to the table. Even Kelela’s seemingly super silky, siren like voice gets kinda tired and samey after a certain point. A one trick pony albeit a sexy one so 3 stars.
Kendrick Lamar
2/5
good kid, long album. Not my vibe.
LCD Soundsystem
2/5
Very ‘yeh, whatever’ comeback album from LCD Soundsystem who said they already broke up in 2011 and gave a massive self-congratulatory farewell concert for it. This album is more like American Sleepwalk or American Staring into space on a long rattly pitchfork indie train journey. Songs have that general super original Bowie/Talking Heads blend and one of them copies that Shehnai sound off King Crimson Sheltered Sky that goes on for way too long. Overall not entirely wretched but quite annoying on every other track and unlike their previous releases deeply, deeply bland. I got bored and fed up half way through and just switched on to Substance by New Order for some actual banging electronic indie.
Common
2/5
Hip hop study beats to study and relax to. And by relax I mean get irritated to and switch off very quickly. Shame because I did want to like this more because of the talent involved but the rapping wasn’t anything special and the production behind it was super headachey and annoying.
Terence Trent D'Arby
2/5
No hardline as such, this is album is squishier than the squishiest clean up on aisle 3. Perhaps more like The Flatline. Super rancid 80s hospital. radio squared with supermarket radio featuring soggy, boring grooves all played by a singer who seem like a bland smush between Prince, MJ and Stevie Wonder. I’m normally a big sucker for 80s pop and RnB but this was way too iffy and derivative.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Possibly my less favourite of their 3 studio albums but still pretty phenomenal with toppity top tracks such as Spanish Castle Magic, Wait Until Tomorrow, If 6 Was 9, Little Wing and Bold As Love. Tracklist is very snappy, tight-knit and incredibly well sequenced and does stand up as a true classic of the decade. Magnificent blend of blistering metal, soft as silk balladeering and powerhouse psychedelia.
Peter Tosh
2/5
Not exactly Exodus by Bob Marley. This is about the reggaeish bunch of reggae that ever reggaed and it reggaes quite stodgily at that. At no point does it ever light up. Far from legalizing it, I would get some SWAT team in and enforce it off this list.
Radiohead
5/5
Possibly not as great as OK Computer but in some ways even better. This is a straightforwardly super collection of glumtastic indie with an extra slollop of icy piano, beats and synths plus a few regular full-throttle rock moments like on the scintillating opener 2+2=5 , strident lead single There, There and folksier Go To Sleep. Myxomatosis towards the backend is another doomy, searing hellscape of a highlight. 4.5 stars because there are a couple of threadbare moments like on I Will and Scatterbrain but I would be inclined to round this up to 5.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Good bunch of classic-era Stevie. Some gold standard gems like Superstition and Sunshine Of My Life, other smooth gems like You Got It Bad Girl and You & I and gunky funk gems like the proto Prince Maybe Your Baby. Not wall to wall greatness because of a couple of snoozier lightweight cuts towards the end and the gunky funk of Maybe Your Baby is a bit too gunky and gaping but overall pretty nice and mellow.
Sinead O'Connor
3/5
Not exactly bad but not that good either. She has an fine warble but apart from the one obvious highlight, the songs and production here tend to be pretty third rate. She knocks it out of the park on Nothing Compares 2 U and makes the Prince song her soaring own but everything else is either sub-Enya, sub-Sundays or sub-Billy Ocean. I do not have this album and am certainly not wanting it that much more now.
Queen
5/5
First ‘stone cold’ classic Queen album. A couple of killer singles with Killer Queen and Now I’m Here plus a general flurry of poppy, rocktastic awesomeness with slight tiddlings of opera and music hall as well. Brighton Rock, In The Lap Of The Gods, Stone Cold Crazy all strong, super fun highlights but I especially dig the swoonier, soul-stirring slower-paced Stormtrooper In Stilettos towards the end courtesy of soul king and badger saviour Brian May.
Sex Pistols
4/5
The quintessential punk album. Snotty and wretched but in a really good way. Key inspiration to a lot of my favourite groups including Joy Division, Guns N Roses, Scritti Politti and Simply Red. Because John Lydon is such a reeking twuntchops I thought I would not really dig this album so much anymore but it’s still a complete blast and holds up very well mainly thanks to the guitar and drummage. Anarchy In The UK and God Save The Queen super iconic highlights along with Pretty Vacant. Bodies which piles up near the start is the only slightly iffy song of the lot.
Stan Getz
3/5
He’s Stan Getz and whatever you want, Stan gets! (As long as it smoothalicious jazz samba solos). 3 and a half cappuccinos out of 5.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
A little slight at 28 minutes but in effect a mini masterpiece up there with Beatles’ Revolver as highest quality, most ambitious studio work of 1966. Has a mix of everything from spike-tingling renaissance covers, all-timers like Homeward Bound and 59th Street Bridge Song, swinging sixties vibe of Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine, intense folk moods of Patterns, savage Dylan parodying on A Simple Desultory Philippic and poignant sound collage with the 7 O Clock News/Silent Night closer. For Emily Whenever I May Find Her is astonishingly beautiful but Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfalls is a hooktastic lyrical masterclass and nudges into the lead as my fav. Not really a bad song and simply incredible harmonies and arrangements throughout.
The Dictators
2/5
Hard to go crazy anything with punk music this schlubby and ordinary. Timeline-wise I guess this fits in quite early on in the punk scene between New York Dolls and Ramones but it doesn’t really matter because the record doesn’t hold up as anything special. The very best songs are probably the cheesy garage covers of I Got You Babe and California Sun.
The Kinks
4/5
Pretty groovy tight-knit 60s concept album about a village or something. It’s kind of in that weird zone of being mostly nearly classic but having nothing that touches upon the very best of Kinks’ real hits. Title song has the best quality perhaps even glorious melody even if it goes round and round too much and I get tired of it by the end. That and other best moments like Picture Book, Last Of The Steam Trains and Big Sky lay the tracks for Blur Parklife. It does lose steam in the second half though. Phenomenal Cat has a bit of laughing gnome in the package for example and Wicked Crapabella is crap. Low 4.
The Smiths
3/5
In terms of Smiths album covers this is definitely the worst… it’s just a beige, vomity looking floating head. In sonic terms it’s definitely a downturn from their previous - very flabby and overproduced and not enough Marr-inspired guitar jangle. The best melodies like Girlfriend In A Coma are ones you’d hear on a best of anyway and tunes like Stop Me Stop Me Oh Stop Me and I Started Something I etcetera are not in their best produced form or as great as they could have been. Death Of A Disco Dancer and Unhappy Birthday are maybe worth checking out but in general the first half is patches of greatness and the second half is a total letdown.
The Doors
5/5
All time classic bow out from America’s greatest band. Very low down dirty blues for the most part, Love Her Madly is a catchy callback to their earlier years. Title song is pure driving neon-lit exhilaration. Just as album gets a bit too circusy desert blues with The Wasp (Texas Radio And The Big Beat) it whams with one of the most Rhodiest, career-defining and zeitgeisty tunes of all time with Riders Of The Storm. A through and through all-time great.
Yes
4/5
An album recommended by 1001 album generators and also Dewey Finn from School Of Rock. Dewey Finn was more on point by just singling out Roundabout. The solo compositions here are all varying degrees of gash with the Jon Anderson vocal loop being the most ear-mincing but Roundabout and Heart Of The Sunrise are as top notch as prog rock can get.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Very sameish sixties swamp rock. Green River running a little dry on this one. Bad Moon Rising is a classic that you’ve probably heard a million times anyway but everything else basically sounds like the same song all sung by the Rich Texan guy from The Simpsons.
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
Another S+G mini-masterpiece with even bolder and more iconic front sleeve. First half is a wild rapidfire journey from the bookends of life with extremes such as crazy wailing synth, choir and space orchestra of Save The Life Of My Child and gushing sentimental, super-affecting strings n diced sound clip poignancy of Old Friends and Voice Of Old People plus a mission to find America along the way. Second half are just random songs plunked together with no real thread or connection but they’re all heavy hitters with indisputable classics such as Mrs Robinson and Hazy Shade Of Winter. As well as being musically more daring and ambitious the lyrics are also very unique and memorable with songs about being a Kelloggs cornflake swimming in a bowl and elephants at a zoo that are kindly but dumb.
4/5
Crazy cool album with crash of elements such careening punk rock riffs, bellowing stutter of nerd baboon vocals and a laboratory of synths gone haywire plus a lyrical thread of humans evolving backwards because evil technology. It’s all a restless barrel of fun that threatens to get too tetchy and tuneless with noise assaults like Jocko Homo but mostly stays with the realms of classic. Uncontrollable Urge is a knockout brilliant and punchy intro, the cover of Stones’s Satisfaction is made to be as perfectly awkward and discombobulated as possible and is somehow more satisfying than the original and Gut Feeling near the end has a gliding krautrock feel and is a phenomenal standout.
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
3/5
Crusty debut from Buddy Holly and his Crickets. It contains some truly great tracks such as That’ll Be That The Day and Not Fade Away that are true mainstays for all rock n roll time but most of the other songs are not that great and tend to be slathered with super old fashioned and unnecessary Bing Crosby barbershop backing vocals that act as a dead weight to these songs that were already kinda dull and sleepy to begin with. Worth checking out for the famous hits and then applying bug spray to the rest.
New York Dolls
2/5
Past 1st track Personality Crisis which is a good enough tune this is a big long stale glam rock trudge. The guitar riffs are punky and fine but the vocals suck big time and act like a bulldozer in drag over songs which which mostly tend to sound the same after a certain point anyway. 2.5 stars
1/5
São Paulo confessions that by themselves are more wretched than the crime. All in all a bunch of noisy Latin and sterile, listless electronica and downtempo styles that don’t mesh well at all. Some tracks are technically ok whilst others are just jarring and awful. I give it 1 star for not being essential listening at all and for being murderously long and dull.
Robert Wyatt
1/5
Kinda surprised by the first track. Very electronic and a little like LCD Soundsystem if it was written and performed by a jolly hobo. The rest of the album tends to be gentler folky meanderings and a schlep more crazy old man singing. I did manage to fall asleep several times so the album did technically live up to its title. Near the end instead of That Old Grey Mare, the crazy old man singer goes into a rut of Subterranean Homesick Blues but in a minor key. This isn’t the absolute pits because it is very quirky and unusual throughout but I have to give a 1 on principal because the guy can’t play or sing and seems to go out of his way to make the tunes as awful as possible.
Ramones
4/5
About as good as punk gets which is pretty good. Blitzkrieg Bop and Beat On The Brat are top notch and send the record off euphorically coasting but after a certain point ie 2 or 3 tracks all the songs start to sound the same. Still, at least its very short and a virtual classic for the genre alongside Sex Pistols own debut.
Beastie Boys
3/5
Sabotage Album. The album with Sabotage. The one song that doesn’t sabotage this album from the 1001 list because otherwise it would be a 2 or worse.
Tori Amos
3/5
Pretty solid album for the most part. Does shine throughout with quality songs and great piano playing even if the melodies are kinda flighty and the singing style is a bit too shrill and theatrical for my tastes. Last couple of songs sunk the album for me. As raw and severe Me And A Gun is in terms of topic I do simply prefer Tom’s Diner.
Amy Winehouse
5/5
One of the best pop albums of the past 20 years. A huge reinvention at the time and a massive step up from her debut. The 60s soul and motown inspired production and Amy’s enormous amount of sass and swagger and extra personal lyrics means that this sounds both super vintage and super modern and the songwriting is so much tighter this time around. Featuring a clutch of fantastic singles that are still on mega rotation today plus plenty of other characterful album tracks. Favourite song Tears Dry On Their Own.
Miriam Makeba
2/5
Not exactly bad (except for that cringe One More Dance duet with a drunk Dr Hibbert on extra laughing gas, that one sucks megatons) but definitely way too old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy and out of my wheelhouse. I was bored solid throughout most of this. It’s the kind of thing I would expect to find in those old Disney wartime package movies with footage of different music cultures and whose scenes I would skip and go straight to all the cartoon segments. 2 and a half stars.
Sebadoh
2/5
Very crumbly and lame slowcore/grunge/slacker/crud rock whatever. They stumble upon a cool supercharged guitar riff every once in a while but most of the time this is aimless dossy noise. Generally it sounds like a dull handicapped Nirvana, at its shrieking worst like an even crapper Meat Puppets and at its best like a slightly cooler than normal early Snow Patrol. So a mixed bag that’s still mainly crap.
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
3/5
Band name is meant to be ironic, right? The closest this album gets to making a commotion is Forest Fire which is still a resolutely 7/10 song. Patience has those female backing vocals to give it a slight Prefab Sproutish/Deacon Blue flavour and in general it has a nice classy, vaguely jangly sophistipop sound but everything about the band is only minutely above average and the songs themselves are vigorously unmemorable.
Gorillaz
3/5
Clint Eastwood is a banger for certs. 19/2000 is a banger or rather the Soulchild remix which appears as a bonus track (original version is pants). Rock Da House which is a showcase for the only other memorable featuring artist Del The Funkee Homosapien is pretty good as is Tomorrow Comes Today. Other than that, this Gorillaz debut is a very gloomy and barren affair with a lot of empty sketches that have life-suckingly dull and literal titles such as 5/4, Punk, Slow Country and Sound Check. There’s a coolish dejected vibe in the first half but it by far and away drags in the second half and overall it’s so not a patch on Demon Days or even Plastic Beach
Elton John
5/5
Elton and his backing band at the very top of their game during the height of glam and expanding out into eclectic double album territory with album cuts as strong as the proggish Funeral For A Friend, surging Grey Seal, Sweet Painted Lady, Harmony and Ballad Of Daniel Bailey. Also hilarious crapcuts like Jamaica Jerk Off and Your Sister Can’t Twist just for some extra eclecticism. This is not to mention the 4 legendary hit singles which populate every Elton best of from here on in. This is an absurdly fun and firm 5 star album.
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
Kinda squidgy, skewiff socially conscious hip-hop. The samples and vibes are all snazzy and jazzy and cool but also a teensy rough and slipshod plus the raps are a mite chipmunk and dorky. There are some semi-decent phases but no outright bangers and I remember their later albums being a lot better. Definitely no 3 Feet High And Rising.
Meat Loaf
5/5
Doesn’t get more classicer than this. Perfect union of rock and broadway, of larger-than-life talents of singer Meat Loaf and songwriter/composer Jim Steinman plus producer Todd Rundgren and the two coolest most skilled members of E Street Band. 7 expertly crafted songs that clearly stand the test of time riddled with purest melodicism, melodrama, entertainment, romance and extravaganza. High octane rock n roll thrills plus overwhelmingly brilliant balladry. For crying out loud I know this is a 5.5 out of 5.
PJ Harvey
1/5
Weird Nirvana/Nick Cave/Yoko Ono howly hybrid thing writhing around on the floor in Steve Albini’s special mix of serrated blades and doggy doo doo making serrated blade and doggy doo angels. The iconic cover shot of her having a wash up in bathroom flinging her hair is the only cool and non garbage thing about this terrible terrible earsore album.
Calexico
3/5
Real ho hum alt-country that leans too heavily into the mariachi and kinda unravels past the halfway stage. Does feature Black Heart which is a sterling, surreptitious string sloshed mega high point. Bit bonkers how no other track here comes slightly close to matching it for quality. Generally these are songs that are fit for making an OK soundtrack to Breaking Bland.
Digital Underground
4/5
If the A Tribe Called Quest album from the same year is a little closer to the rap Pet Sounds or at least rap Today! then this one is much more like Sex Rap Safari or Sex Rap USA. In other words really corny and dated and a little slipshod in places but also oodles of fun. Humpty Dance is tbh a kinda garbage start but on The Way We Swing they cue up Hendrix Band Of Gypsys and it becomes a good record again. Whole album is a mega Will Smith-athon because the grooves constantly evoke Fresh Prince Of Bel Air and on Underwater Rimes even a bit of Shark Tale. Gutfest 89, Freaks Of The Industry, Doowutchyalike and entire Packets suite all ribald highs. The Danger Zone dullest low.
Bill Evans Trio
5/5
Very intimate and serene plus a few extra spiffing rumblytastic solo bass spots as well. It’s elegance and grace. A smile on my face. Tonight when we chase the dragon the water may change to cherry wine and the silver will turn to gold. Alice in wonderland!
R.E.M.
5/5
A true blockbuster we have here. One of the best bands over the past 40 years at a real prime Goldilocks point in their career delivering a most immaculate set of songs that are in turn barnstorming, anthemic, magisterial, soul-stirring, moody and cinematic. All in all a deeply boppy, powerful and life-affirming combo. Man On The Moon and Nightswimming are two incredible iconic hits packed near the end but elegiac closer Find The River is such a blissful, heavenly and moving send-off that just sneaks it as my favourite track with the richly tender and beautiful Sweetness Follows up there as well. A very easy and very automatic 5 stars.
Don McLean
3/5
Learning that Don McLean pled guilty to domestic violence charges against his ex-wife and now has a extra large warm slice of ‘American pie’ about a third of his age makes me wanna give this a firm thumbs down but unfortunately the title song and Vincent are just a little too all-time classic to write off. Overall very crisp, mellow, breezy, poetic listen maybe a bit corny in places and definitely gets flaggy in terms of quality towards the end. 3.5 stars and stripes.
Fela Kuti
4/5
It’s live. It’s a jive. Drums thrive and thrive again times eighty-five. Grooves are a big bounding restless beehive. Fela Kuti is the headlining feature along with Cream’s own cutey Ginge Baker but the latter is only on a couple of tracks so he kinda takes a skive. This Fela guy is great and definitely worthy of a deep dive. The whole album is a giant yes from me, Clive.
Nina Simone
4/5
So rich and moody. What an amazing voice. Four Women is a pretty startling highlight where at the end she reveals that she is a 21st century Canadian electroclash singer. Plus some excellent David Bowie and Jeff Buckley covers on this one with the title song and Lilac Wine.
The Divine Comedy
2/5
Would have preferred a longer album about love by a different artist with a less dronier and annoying voice and a music accompaniment that wasn’t so pompous and pastiche-heavy. There were touches of Bacharach I liked towards the end but for a short collection of songs it is also very spotty and uneven. 2.5 stars.
Spiritualized
2/5
A bleary Velvet Underground gig but where the band members are all from Cast and Inspiral Carpets. Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in crap.
Ray Charles
3/5
More like ‘The Goodness Of Ray Charles’. All of this stuff is very good. A lot more restrained, chillaxed and easy listening big band stuff and less gritty blues and RnB than I was expecting. Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Cryin’ fav tune.
The Yardbirds
3/5
Like the album sleeve a bit of a sketchy uggo scramble. Some very groovy swinging sixties bops like Over Under Edgeways Down but also a lot of ye olde English noodly guitar slops and renaissance fair gump plus the vocalist for this group tends to suck big time. Jeff Beck only showing periodic flashes of brilliance.
Justice
4/5
A true 00s dance classic, building on from the good work of Daft Punk’s Discovery and Human After All. Lots of glitzy groovin beats and whirring, warring dance-scapes although these days I do prefer the more vocal-based tracks. D.A.N.C.E, DNVO and in particular Tthheeppaarrtty with the wise beautiful chops of Uffie are all absolute 10/10 ace amazing choons of the highest slammingest order.
Janis Joplin
4/5
Very good album. Basically up to the level of Cheap Thrills with iconic tracks such as Me And Bobby McGee and Mercedes Benz to fit alongside Piece Of My Heart. A few more albums like this and she would have had a quite impressive pearl necklace.
Pulp
2/5
If ‘This’ was Happy Hardcore then I would like it a lot more. As it is, it’s just very bleh and inessential. Where are the Common Peoples and Disco 2000s? Different Class and His n Hers so much better.
Queen
3/5
Nice early queen. Good display of folky proggy fantasy choral metal with side long suites about ogres and fairy fellers. It’s all a bit soupish though and you don’t get a truly classic Queen song until bam right at the end with Seven Seas Of Rhye. High 3.5 because still mostly a fun listen.
The Birthday Party
1/5
The album cover is so outrageously ugly and over the top in a way similar to the original Appetite For Destruction cover I almost kind of like it. I also like Nick Cave from 00s onwards plus Grinderman, some 90s Nick Cave but not so much the 80s stuff. I especially don’t like this. It is all just a horrid din. The snare in She’s Hit actually sounds like shotguns going off but in a really tetchy, arthritic way and the rest of the album is pretty much just as painful to listen to.
John Coltrane
5/5
‘a La supreme’? I’m sorry but we already covered that La’s album for 1001 and it only had one decent song in There She Goes. Not supreme at all! Other than that, this is a pretty blissful record with transcendent playing that holds up as one of the most essential of the Jazz genre.
Willie Nelson
3/5
Apparently this guy is an outlaw and yet does such nice, gentlemanly covers of early 20th century pop standards. A very pleasant listen throughout. Blue Skies is one of the more notable highlights and is surprisingly mumblecore and even slightly slowcore towards the end. Overall as nice as it is it may be just a bit too gentle and snoozy. Not radically essential but very nice anyway. 3.5 stars.
3/5
Pretty cool. Energy levels in this are something else. Would have been wild to hear this back in 1969. Not too many memorable songs though out of the iconic title track and vocalist kinda sucks. It really is just a massive spoolage of messy shouty metally trippy proto punky rock that gets incredibly ragged by the end. An uneven classic that’s streaked with greatness and also crapness. More like MC3.5.
Nick Drake
5/5
Another Nick Drake album, this time with super lush, cosy orchestrations instead of being the bleakest album possible. Songs are so warm and deft - just wonderfully poppy, jazzy, folky and baroquey with supremely beautiful, empowering melodies such as At The Chime Of A City Clock and Northern Sky plus the weebly haunting heart-churningness of Fly. 3 out of the 10 songs are instrumentals which might make the album a bit padded although Sunday does make for a peculiarly eerie, pretty closer. Drake on top form here again instead of being DESTROYED at Super Bowl. Fyve Styrs.
Slipknot
1/5
I had no hope going into this Slipknot and after an hour of the hottest and noisiest yet completely below-average screamo metal thuddering I am left wondering how is this even in the 1001 book when Psychosocial is the only catchy decent song? For all the intense aural assault at least it doesn’t have Robert Wyatt singing on it.
Jimmy Smith
3/5
Wouldn’t mind going back to the Caddyshack. Long time since I’ve seen that fully. Miss those cheeky gophers. This monolith of Hammond jazz I would go back to if I needed some cool groovy cliche 60s background music for my cliche 60s house party. With extensive sax solos more than anything it’s a bit like 40 minutes of Rainy Day Dream Away but with no Hendrix on guitar or mic to blaze things up another notch. 3.5 stars.
Mylo
5/5
Easy 5! Cool, quirky little dance album and 00s classic from the Scottish Daft Punk. Probably the best thing to come out of the Isle Of Skye other than whisky. Lots of fun, funky beats, smooth 80s keyboards and cool samples from Rikkie Lee Jones, Bette Davis Eyes and Boy Meets Girl and serious heavy bangers with Drop The Pressure and the title track. Also some really pretty, chilled out stuff towards the end with Zenophile and Need You Tonight so a good mix of pop, club, ambient and chill out. Mylo apparently got tinnitus afterwards and lost all his money because of all the royalties he had to payout for the samples but it was worth it because this is a very good album.
Frank Ocean
4/5
Bit of a 2010s classic and a nice juicy mix of RnB, neo soul and bedroom pop with tangs of hip hop. Synths are super succulent and crooning is richly vitalistic. Highlights are Thinkin Bout You, Sweet Life and Super Rich Kids which simmers things down to a Bennie And The Jets notch. Second half isn’t as good and is a bit too orangey for crows. Had me channel hopping a little bit but overall really good.
Youssou N'Dour
3/5
There was the occasional okay infectious groove on this but it is all a bit Sounds Of The Universe or Oxfam Street Fest and I wanted to go back to Mylo fairly quickly. Not enough Destroying Rock And Roll or Dropping The Pressure here. Plus each of the four tracks go on for too long and I don’t really like the guy’s wailing or his silly hat.
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Absolutely prime Stevie. About 5 or so true all-timer songs and the keyboards and synths sound simply sensational here. A very supple soulful combo. There might be a couple of inner lesions on the record - Jesus Children Of America and All In Love Is Fair are not the strongest. But grand centrepieces like Living For The City that pack extra biting political commentary along with so much mean gritty funk more than make up for it. Higher Ground is also a beast of a tune but second top dog here however. It’s hard to decide if Stevie or Red Hot Chili Peppers do it better. 4.5 stars.
T. Rex
3/5
A band that have done some truly classic singles during the early stages of glam and indeed Bang It On (Get It On) is a veritable evergreen glam stomper and easily my favourite here. There’s a couple of other decent snazzy tunes near the beginning like Cosmic Dancer but most of the other songs are actually fairly humdrum rock n roll and Bolan’s voice is also a bit too tremulous and annoying. An okay album to wash dishes to. Less Electric Warrior, more like Electric Scullion.
The Byrds
4/5
Relatively good debut for the 60s containing at least a trio of the best recordings for the decade. Title track opener is a supreme bit of jingle jangle - Dylan done decently. And I’ll Feel A Whole Lot Better is absolutely class as well. Compared to these soaring highs the rest of the album does come off as a bit dodo like. All I Really Wanna Do Plus being the main other main catchy number. We’ll Meet Again closer is super corny and would have been best left to Vera Lynn. 3.5 all things considered but 4 for here because of the supreme highlights.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Nice raw enervated feel in places. There are some neat melodic twists and turns and also some cool lux instrumental textures. Home Is Anywhere You Hang Your Head is pretty rich sounding and kinda reminds me of Windfall Island. In terms of songs though there are no other absolute favourites and as it drags on it does get more samey. Too much blood, too much chocolate and no other magic third ingredient. Costello’s voice does seem to be more forced, contorted and annoying even more than usual as well. 3.5 stars.
Metallica
3/5
Solid but ultimately very long and kinda boring live set of late 90s Metallica plus orchestra. A bit like Fleetwood Mac’s The Dance there’s a twinge of autotune and vocal processing to James Hetfield which definitely sours, stales and scrumples up the live proceedings a little bit.
Miles Davis
4/5
Good album in a four stars way. Album does kinda sound like it restarts itself every 6 minutes or so throughout. Nonetheless, good album in a four stars way. Some very good silently moody playing by Chick Corea and John McLaughlin. Good album in a four stars way.
Black Sabbath
3/5
None too shabby Black Shabbath debut. Does lay the seedlings and groundwork for the heavy metal genre ok enough and title song is super iconic. Whilst it is a good late 60s rawk album throughout it is not totally phenomenally top class and all my fav Sabbath songs are indeed on their next one Paranoid. 3.5 stars.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
4/5
Classic classical prog. The fact that this does sound like video game boss music makes it all the better. Definite shades of Star Fox, Final Fantasy and Ganon’s Tower from Legend Of Zelda if they all became 70s versions. Lot of cool variety from the regal earwormy Promenade theme, spindly graceful guitar workout and balladry of The Sage, oogly woogly spasmodic space synth and Hammond blues detours plus the ultra anthemic climax of Great Gates Of Kiev as well as the absolute powerhouse drumming throughout. Nutrocker is a bit more like ice cream van chase music though.
Jurassic 5
2/5
A not very special album for the hip hop genre. Very dull and uninspiring flows and beats. More like stodge hop. Jackson 5, Pizzicato 5, Slaughterhouse 5 even MC5 much better. But not Ben Folds Five, they suck as well. Maroon 5? I guess I would have their debut any day over this.
Big Star
3/5
Big jumble of a Third record from Big Star. Some pretty neato and exquisite angsty baroque pop elements that lend proper hefty R.E.M Sweetness Follows vibes. Also some cruddier tracks as well - a super weak Femme Fatale with its annoying backing vocals. There’s Kanga Roo as a highlight but no Winnie The Pooh or Tigger too so ultimately this record is something of a disappointment and it’s easy to see why the band disintegrated during the making of it. Should have gone all in on a Winnie The Pooh concept record.
Taylor Swift
4/5
Absolutely perfect indie crossover for Tay Tay. Not country like her earlier stuff, nor tacky and cringe like Reputation or totally snoozy like her Folksnore albums or as bad as her most recent stuff. Just the perfect Tay Tay Goldilocks zone. (although she does come close to matching it with a certain album called 1989 Taylor’s Version). You have a clutch of songs that feel completely sensational. From the widescreen allure of Welcome To New York, pop juggernauts of Blank Space and Shake It Off plus Style which totally smokes in a neon lit 80s way. It’s not too long at 13 songs and 48 minutes but the weaker half definitely pales massively to all the best stuff. But the best songs and overall production and vibes are so good and the vocals so vivaceous. A 2010s Thriller with some filler.
Peter Frampton
3/5
“Dooo-oooooo YOU… feeeel the way I do”
If you and your band feel that the record you’re playing on is an alrightish classic rock double live LP with a few choice highlights, cool novelty talkbox but that your main only essential moment is your appearance on the Simpsons Loolapalooza episode then yep I do feel the way you do.
The Prodigy
4/5
Solid dance album chock full of cool beats n loops with a futuristic hard rock, hip-hop and also strong mystical eastern elements as well. Good for an ultra violent night out at the club smashing glass bottles at people or a long session of Wipeout on the PlayStation. The album tracks are good but the main singles Breathe, Firestarter and Smack My Bitch Up are absolutely the main draws here. Firestarter in particular is one of the wickedest and most yummily malevolent singles of the 90s. Narayan is another very groovy highlight featuring my main man from Kula Shaker, Crispy Mills on vocals in what is kind of a smoother cuddlier version of Setting Sun by Chemical Brothers. Fuel My Fire cover at the end is cool n rawky. Definitely a midge better than Massive Attack’s cover of Light My Fire a few years earlier.
Steve Winwood
4/5
Not a belly flop at all and also not anywhere near a 10 either. Mainly just very good. When You See A Chance is one of the better tunes and opens with some legendarily cheesey Sooty n Sweep synth tones. Second-Hand Woman ramps up the cheesy 80s disco and is a bit of a bop. Night Train has more of a steelier, hard rock vibe with mean lengthy Claptonesque guitar solos. Title track is cowritten with Bonzo Dog stalwart Vivian Stanshall not that it makes a big difference because the tune itself is so so. Light 4 overall.
Iron Maiden
5/5
Woe to you haters of this album, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath. Because he knows the time is short. Let him or her of them who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number. It is 555 because this is a 5 star album times 5 times 5. And times 5 again. (Take away 5x5x5 for Gangland and Invaders being a bit ropier than the other tracks. Add 55 again for the other tracks just being so awesome and epic)
Ray Charles
3/5
Some pleasant, easy-listening vocal cuts plus dim elements of bluesy piano like on Bye Bye Love and the swinging Hey Good Lookin’. A lot of soppy, souped-up, showbizzy arrangements though with some absolutely ghastly, fuddy-duddy, beans in my ears choir that almost violates the joint. A flat 3 stars.
Television
3/5
A band truly with faces for radio. Or in the frontman’s case maybe a morgue. Cart the singer away and you have a pretty cool, angular n scrawly guitar hero album.
Bob Dylan
2/5
If there was just one Bob Dylan to check out before you die it would definitely be Highway 61 Revisited or even Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan over this one. It has some cool songs like Visions Of Johanna but also the painful circus fanfare of Rainy Day Women #12 & #35 which opens up the album in spectacularly horrid fashion and the album over its course does drone on a bit and is very padded. A lot of samey, below-par tunage such as Pledging My Time and nearly all of sides C and D in fact with the stompier Obviously 5 Believers the only real keeper. Overall, obviously not 5 stars.
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
Very quaint, Austin Powers-y psyche pop n folk. Like Grace Slick a lot and she has a couple of nice bangers with Somebody To Love and White Rabbit. The bloke vocalist sullies the joint though, sounds like a super sub-satisfactory Sonny Bonno. Best songs are the two main Grace Slick sung hits and Embyronic Journey which is an instrumental.
3/5
War’s most famous song is probably Low Rider aka the music for the Marmite ad. Instead of loving or hating this I simply found this pretty fine and ok for the most part. It turns out War are good for absolutely everything because this is a nice jittering mix of funk, pop, rock, jazz, reggae and afrobeat plus with a slight political edge. Cisco Kid is a good sassy opener and Four Cornered Room provides something a bit darker and moodier. There are a couple of jams that spiral on for too long though. Overall, nothing here to match their Marmite opus but still pretty good. 3.5 stars.
The xx
1/5
If you’re after frumpy girl/boy fronted indietronica then Everything But The Girl do it much better. This is just very soulless and stifled, where mostly every song drags and every element from the stiff and unfeeling modern-style vocals and the cold, frosty, cheap, generic beats and the disconnected track list with no flow at all is designed to induce torpor as much as possible. The song where they take a clubby Hall and Oates sample and slow it down to make it sound stupid and with all the fun sucked out is one of the worst I’ve heard on this project recently. This band should have been called The XXXX because that’s what they would have scored if they played on Britain’s Got Talent.
Joe Ely
1/5
Country is often a bit of a cursed genre for me but this honky tonkin’ missive felt especially corny and cheesy. The country crooning is the worst element for me but the production also seemed to be surprisingly synthy and very definitely dated. Tonight I Think I’m Gonna Go Downtown is one of the more serene cuts with its softer vocals and soothing pedal steel but then soon enough I’ll Be Your Fool comes along with its twinges of yodel and then the banks of country cheesiness completely burst with “I Keep Ma Fingernails Long So They Click When They Play The Piana” barroom cheeseblast.
Fiona Apple
2/5
So I do find Fiona’s voice pretty annoying for the most part and the songs on her debut aren’t really the full Fiona whack which is probably a good thing considering how much I dislike all her later stuff I’ve heard. There’s some chill 90s grooves here but not too many memorable choons except for the first minute of Criminal (I’ve been a bad, bad guuuurl). The First Taste rides silkily along a nice undulating Latin beat and is the closest thing to a favourite track. 2.5 stars.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Has a couple of corkers such as In France They Kiss On Main Street, a substantial amount of soft, plain folksy balladry that wisps by too easily during the middle portion and also a couple of completely off-the-wall experimental numbers that are as jarring as a million jars left ajar by Jar Jar Binks. The Jungle Line uses Moog synth and sampled tribal percussion to create a feverish swamp of sweltering skewiffy summer sound. Probably the strangest pop composition since Tomorrow Never Knows. Shadows And Light on the other hand is a stark Moog acappella that makes the album sound like it’s been abandoned onto some lonely faraway planet at the very end. This album is a big favourite of Prince and he of course has impeccable judgement so perhaps this is all great stuff. Not long after this album though, Joni started inhabiting a character named Art Nouveau and went about dressing as a blackface pimp on her record sleeves, in her music videos, at parties and in a live album and film called Shadows And Light so I’m thinking these two off-the-wall experimental numbers maybe helped set off an unfortunate chain of creativity and perhaps weren’t totally for the best.
Guns N' Roses
5/5
Ultra classic, ultra blazing debut from the LA 5-piece with only about 30 million or so copies sold to testify for its popularity and endurance. Packs the best traditions of the Stones, Sex Pistols and Aerosmith with the sleaziest most thrilling and high-octane of 80s hair metal. Contains their greatest most legendary hits like Sweet Child O Mine, Paradise City and Welcome To The Jungle all in one place plus the songcraft eleswhere is simply super tight with so many other iconic riffs and lyrics. Musicianship, singing and frontmanship is blinding and sensational throughout with Axl Rose and Slash really at the peak of their powers here. Lengthy, multi-part, dark soap-operatic outro Rocket Queen is one of the songs that bangs relatively maybe not quite as much and still has Axl Rose banging the drummer’s girlfriend in the recording booth. That’s how high the bar is set for all of the songs on this record banging! So easily 5 stars.
Deerhunter
4/5
On balance a pretty nice, lush n scraggy procession of Pitchfork indie psyche pop. Some cool combinations of tones like on the dankly celestial opener Earthquake which has tingly harp-like guitar over a crushingly slow n whooshy glitch beat that does amass somewhat epically. Album isn’t exactly banger loaded and the music n drab singing does get a bit too threadbare and tumbleweedish at times but there are enough interesting highlights and overall it is still quite a cool n quirky listen.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
Rust never sleeps but I was a bit sleepy during this and I would have completely dozed off if this was longer than 38 minutes. When I saw the cover pop up I thought I was due for an extra special 2 hour Neil Young snore-athon live concert and I’m actually pretty grateful that wasn’t the case. First song rings a bell because it features Kurt Cobain’s suicide note but the songs in the first half really aren’t that remarkable. There’s something gently quaking and epic in Neil Young but also really tedious, dragging and dull. Few interesting melodies going on and he always has to sing in that silly squeaky voice of his. Album does build more in magnitude in the second half. Powderfinger is a strong highlight even though at times it sounds like a rubbishier Sound Of Silence. Overall, probably one of the better Neil Young releases.
Radiohead
4/5
Hmmm I’ve been underrating this one for ages. When it came out it seemed like just another Radiohead album and the only interesting thing about it was the ‘Pay What You Want’ marketing ploy which naturally as a sucker I paid the full amount for this. And while this isn’t nearly as good as OK Computer or the Bends. Or Kid A… or Hail To The Thief, it is still a very cool n classy, on form Radiohead album. 15 Step is a strong intro with a frazzled beat that is like stomping around on a floor electronic cornflakes in deliberate irregular time and Bodysnatchers is a nice standard Radiohead rocker. Weird Fishes tingles along pretty serenely but All I Need shines the most as a super sleek and searing trip-hoppy highlight with ghostly vocals and a bumping, almost Boards Of Canada Roygbiv bassline. 2nd half does lose a little bit of steam though. Faust Arp is like a crap reheating of Wolf At The Door with its juttery, schizoid, done-before talk singing and kills a tiny bit of momentum. Videotape brings the album to a bleak, trembling, iconic end and is one of few other tracks here to feel like proper classic Radiohead. Overrated in the grand scheme of things but still a very good album for them.
Motörhead
4/5
A most excellent live document of Motörhead. At their thrashy, growlin’, high-octane, rockin’ best. Has a set list which features all their most loved tunes such as Ace Of Spades… and others. My favourite one on here is probably Aces Of Spades.
Pixies
4/5
Has some truly classic iconic cuts like Debaser, Wave Of Mutilation, Here Comes Your Man and Monkey Gone To Heaven. Also for an album under 40 minutes it got a lot of jokey, uninspired crap tracks too. At its very best it is a perfect blend of surf-rock, power-pop and noise onslaught. Whilst Frank Black’s screeches are super effective on some songs, it is annoying for the most part and he does sound like Iago the Parrot with cowboys, hissing cats and chainsaws fighting it out in his throat. More like a patchy 3.5 stars but rounded up to 4 because the very best songs definitely make this worthy of the 1001 list.
The Who
4/5
One of The Who’s lowest selling albums so definitely an inaccurate title in one way. From the year of Sgt Pepper and Disraeli Gears this has got I Can See For Miles going for it in the classic stakes. And a kinda fun and goofy, well-observed pirate radio homage running throughout with lots of extra cheesy jingles. Armenia City In The Sky is very groovy and Mary Ann With The Shaky Hand super lilting and bubblegum but beyond those and I Can See For Miles I can’t see many other good tunes - the radio jingles are better than 50% of the album tracks. Sunrise towards the end is neat with super shivery guitar work and Rael is a standout mainly because the exact chord sequence from Sparks on Tommy is here an album early but the actual songs themselves aren’t the strongest. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4.
Koffi Olomide
1/5
Possibly the crappest music I’ve heard for this project so far that isn’t by Robert Wyatt or The Residents. Just very crappy conga music caked with bad vocals and ultra cheesy Whitney Houston keyboards too often. On top of that, this dude has been accused and found guilty of sexual assault and battery numerous times so no need to give his music any extra consideration. Think I’ll stick to my Ryan Adams and Ducktails, thanks.
N.W.A.
4/5
Landmark late-80s hip hop with the cool gang of Ice Cube, Dre, Easy E, MC Ren and maybe MC Stimpy is in there as well. First two songs are the most potent, thumping and incendiary but there are lots of fun, solid, groovin beats n raps thereafter, only a few clunker tracks. Gangsta Gangsta, Express Yourself and I Ain’t Tha 1 next best quality poppy, funky highlights.
Prince
5/5
Ultra sexy and synthalicious, jamtastic double album offering from Prince just before his rocketing to international superstardom with Purple Rain. The only thing you can knock this record with is that Purple Rain is even better. You have nuclear apocalypse party jams for the ages with 1999 and classic rock staples with Little Red Corvette to brilliantly set the tone of the record and then lavish extended dance treats like DMSR and Automatic to plump it up along with absolutely ingenious super-seductive role-playing extravaganzas such as International Lover and Lady Cab Driver and the filthiest of filthy synth frolics in Let’s Pretend We’re Married that turn the air the deepest of bluey purple. Easy, easy 5 stars.
Carpenters
5/5
“I want to tell you love, you’ve got a fabulous voice” - John Lennon
“Hot Diggity! How about youse and Petulia come back to mah hotel wid me after this here gig o mine and I giz both a youse gals a good hound doggin’!”- Elvis Presley
This one is definitely a great one to check out in terms of Carpenters arriving at their ultra lush, uber-harmonious, opulently overdubtastic formula and becoming one of the biggest phenomenas of the 70s on the back of it but they have done even lovelier albums such as A Song For You and Horizon which are just as worthy for inclusion on this list.
Besides the two chart-busting singles (the title song being what I consider one of the truly astounding pop productions of the millennium as well as being a blatantly well-deserved million-seller) there are still lots of other cushy treats to enjoy here. Karen’s vocal on Maybe It’s You is particularly gorgeous. They add huge dollops of rock organ and epic choir to Beatles’ Help to not only improve it beyond what John Lennon intended but also to pave the way for what I consider their true zenith in Goodbye To Love a few years later. On an otherwise a nice and breezy, down to earth version of I’ll Never Love Again they launch briefly into outer space with a colossal 13-part, 39 voice chord drop. Mr Guder is a killer slice of baroque pop with a groovin’ and headspinny a capella breakdown section. Richard doesn’t have quite the same lovely voice as Karen but I Kept On Loving You is still a genuine hella sweet late album bop. And closer Another Song is a snazzy, jazzy multi-part odyssey that really shows what a beastly vixen Karen is around the drum kit. So what you have here is not the most killer of Carpenters tracklists but certainly more recommended than 99% of what is on this list. Bask in the expert songs of Bacharach, John Bettis and Paul Williams, the glory of Karen’s beauteous pipes and Richard’s genius knack for harmonies and arrangements. 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.
The Afghan Whigs
2/5
I like Afghan Hounds. They’re cool. I don’t like Al Qaeda. They’re seriously not cool. This here Afghan Whigs thing is somewhere in between, probably closer to the Al Qaeda end of the spectrum. The vocals are kinda Trent Reznory although a lot more painful and whiny and also the music is just pretty generic alt-rock/grunge stodge. It does have a glint of a power pop feel although I say ‘pop’ loosely because all of the melodies were quite tiresome and a slog and not even remotely catchy.
Prince
5/5
If today’s album was an episode of Friends it would be called “The One Where Prince Becomes Even More Of A Rock God And Records The Greatest Album Of All Time”. Not to overstate the point but this is simply the greatest album of all time. 5 stars plus a billion more stars.
Eric Clapton
4/5
Cool, classy sophomore turn from solo Clapton. A lot of laidback stuff but also some seriously blazing cool gems such as the zip zippying Motherless Children, Let It Grow with Mary Magdalene and I Shot The Sheriff which shot up to number one in the US and is the best version of the song.
Joanna Newsom
1/5
If the music matched the quality of the gorgeous renaissancey artwork then this would be an easy 5. Unfortunately the singing sounds like it’s coming from some whiny mewling cartoon donkey gorgon. Or maybe the old lady from the Simpsons that Bart does a load of chores for and gets paid 2 quarters and an inhumane amount of iodine treatment (if she also turned into a donkey gorgon). Though the harp playing can feel pretty lush at times, the songs themselves are interminable and just loft around without ever going anywhere interesting. Plus the orchestral accompaniment is so swampy, pretentious and overbearing that it just adds to an already torturous mix. Out of the 5 songs present on this album, Sawdust And Diamonds is a little lighter, less squealing and punishing and so nabs the award for the one less likely to be used at Abu Grahib.
The Black Crowes
3/5
A pretty average and not that distinctive debut. Nothing to ‘crowe’ about. Just sounds like all sorts of classic rock from the early 70s but lesser, blander versions of it. Best songs probably Struttin’ Blues or the one in the middle that sounds like Joe Cocker’s With A Little Help From My Friends. Worst song the Hard To Handle cover. Lots of mildly raucous guitar playing and riffs throughout that range from good to pretty good. Vocals super ordinary. Fine enough effort overall but the band should change the animals on their logo because when it comes to their music… it’s too boring for crows.
The Isley Brothers
5/5
Unless Vanity 6 and Mary Jane Girls ever joined forces and formed a naked volleyball team at their prime then this is easily the best doubling up in music history. Singer Ronald was already quite a fabulous purring silk machine but invigorated by brotherly and brotherly-in-law reinforcements the Isleys become an unstoppable groove juggernaut for the next decade with guitarist Ernie slaying like Attila The Hun. A lot of covers and self-covers on this one ranging from phenomenal to simply fine. Listen To The Music to its credit is no way near as tedious as the Doobies version but is probably the least inspiring track here. That Lady is a total jam and the already hyper-blissed Summer Breeze when it gets toward the end is like the most towering, raging Hendrixy fuzz geyser. Sunshine (Go Away Today) is another great reinterpretation, much darker and funkier and devilish with Ronald sounding like he actually hates the sunshine more than Mick Jagger as the opposed to the overly bright and chipper original. Along with all the blazing highs, closer Highways Of My Life stands out for having one of the astoundingly beautiful piano intros of all time. A mix of 5 star and 4 tracks adds to an average of 4.5 but this old heart of mine bumps it up to a website score of 5.
Elastica
3/5
Pretty cool. A bit like Blur but with chicks in. Also a bit of Breeders, a bit of Blondie and apparently a great train robbery of Wire although I’m not going to go out of my way to listen out to Wire to find out until they appear on this list. Whilst it all sounds pretty cool, alty and fresh for the often super stale Britpop era, the riff to Connection was the only thing to snap back to my memory once the album ended. The rest simply bounced in one ear and out the other. For one actual catchy song it’s a bit of a stretch to add this one to 1001 albums. Boing boing!
Jack White
2/5
A markedly more vapid version of his usual stuff with White Stripes. It’s still massively inkeeping with his normal style ie quite shrieky, irksome, ultra Led Zep derivative and with garbage mixing but it’s all just a bit below par and with not a single noteworthy track which makes this album more like Blanderbuss by Jack Biege.
Thin Lizzy
5/5
Not so Live apparently but oh so very Dangerous. One of the most classicest bands of the 70s pulving out killer song after killer song plus a dash of call-and-response, bawdy stage banter and extended drum solo for the full live experience. Mixed by Tony Visconti, many of the songs here sound even more incendiary and definitive than their studio counterparts - Rosalie and Still In Love With You in particular. All in all, this peak 70s rock and with Boys Are Back In Town, Southbound and Don’t Believe A Word in one place it’s just loaded.
The Chemical Brothers
4/5
A very solid debut from the Chem Bros filled variously with cool head-bobbing grooves, general cool trancey danciness, cooly cool chill out sections, cooler than thou futuristic racing game background beats and towards the end even a couple of actual song highlights with the baggytastic Life Is Sweet featuring Tim Burgess and sweeping majestic closer Alive Alone featuring cool Dido clone Beth Orton… which is cool. The main thing keeping this from a 5 is that their next album Dig Your Own Hole is even more of a cooler, fantastic big beaty beast that has better tunes and hits way harder. Another way to make this album better is if it were called Exit Planet Rust and Neil Young appeared on a track to say “yep, gonna retire. Not gonna sing anymore. And I’m gonna delete half my albums because I got too many of them”.
Merle Haggard
1/5
Plain old crusty, dull, super corny foghorn country that gets spectacularly samey even across its skimpy 30 minute span. In a whole different sphere but at the same point in time you have Sgt Pepper and Are You Experienced which have just come out . Bit unfair to bring up those two culture-shaping cornerstones of pop, rock and psychedelia but even compared to the most regular country album this is about as interestingly developed as moss. Makes me long for the utopian country days of Joe Ely which I have rated slightly higher in my 1 star pile of albums.
B.B. King
4/5
Somewhere between Martin Luther King and Burger King lies B.B. King, one of the true greats of blues guitaring during the 50s and 60s and whose lean, mean, cool, classy style was such an influence on the Stones, Eric Clapton and especially Peter Green who in fact became one of King’s favourite guitarists and the one who could give him ‘cold sweats’. So obviously the dude is of very sound immaculate taste and this here live album is indeed very tasty. Not home to any massive blues whoppers, I can’t actually name any one favourite track but it all has that general yummy moreish bluesy vibe that makes it a mighty fine background listen. Leanest of 4 stars.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
Hats off, ladies and gentlemen, another genius Led Zeppelin album. With a couple of tip-toppiest all-time classic Zep tracks in Immigrant Song and almighty blues extravaganza Since I’ve Been Loving You plus a bundle of folksy fun with bouncing and bounding Bron-Y-Aur Stomp and sprightly traditional hangman tale Gallows Pole. Hats can firm stay on for last track Hats Off To Roy Harper though, that one really sucks. Even with the brown stained final hurdle, 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.
Slayer
4/5
This is good, definitely 1001 worthy but I would prefer it if it was performed by the Wurzels and called Reign In Mud and featuring enhanced classics such as Tractor Saves, Scarecrow of Sacrifice, Farmophobic, Angel Of Ooh-Arr and of course their crowning glory in Raining Mud.
Doves
2/5
A dove in the hand is worth two in the bush. This Doves album at hand is worth two in the bush as well because I’d sooner fling it into said bush where I’ve already flung the 1st Doves album I had to listen to for this project. This one manages to be ever so slightly more of a drabby letdown. Doves at their best sound like a Shack version of Coldplay but on the first main song Words with their weird foggy emo secondary vocalist they manage to sound like a ridiculously more subpar Shack version of themselves. Back half of the record rings with a bit more quality and dull grey majesty. Pounding has a hint of a good tune and Caught By The River is quite a rich and atmospheric closer but unfortunately there isn’t a song that quite matches the level of Catch The Sun or The Cedar Room which makes this album an even more poor choice for this list than their debut. 2.5 stars.
Iron Maiden
3/5
Someone Else: “I got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby! Come listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me!”
Me: “Is someone other than Bruce Dickinson singing?”
Someone Else: “Yep”
Me: “Pass”
It riffs fine. Growler is fine. Phantom Of The Opera and Charlotte The Harlot fine. But the vocals are not fine and there are about 10 other Iron Maiden albums including Live After Death which are more essential than this one.
Wilco
2/5
Because this egregiously is a Wilco double album of all unnecessary things I might as well give it an unnecessary double review…
Review #1: Wilcquetoast.
Review #2: Loving all the Wilco flavours here. Plain. All the flavours.
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
My favourite review I’ve seen of this is “Songs In The Key Of Life for white people”. It is also pretty much like The Beatles White Album except that the avant-garde centrepiece towards the end is instead its most popular hit song as opposed to being a completely terrible random streak of overlong crap.
In the grand scheme of double albums it’s probably not quite up there with Electric Ladyland but is easily ten trillion infinities better than Wilco’s Being There. Stevie and Christine write some of their prettiest and wooziest ever songs and Lindsay’s madcap lo-fi experiments cohabit wonderfully alongside. In the grand battle of Rumours and Tusk there’s nothing quite as imperious as Dreams of You Make Loving Fun but there’s so much brilliant beautiful material along the lines of Over & Over and Sara, Sisters Of The Moon, That’s All For Everyone, Brown Eyes and Walk A Thin Line and with its consistent luxuriant/lo-fi blend works out as an immensely more rewarding work to return to.
Jungle Brothers
2/5
More like the Jumble Shop Bros. Just a load of mungy old rap with tatty funk, jazz, latin and psychedelia samples that don’t hang together too well. Comes across as the shabbiest version of De La Soul so maybe this album instead should be called Two Stars High and Falling. If De La Soul’s approach was taking a million different ingredients and blending it into a vibrant yummy rainbow smoothie then this is more like taking a typical New York garbage dumpster, shoving a stick in it and gently swirling the contents around .
The Cure
5/5
Been feeling a little down lately because of listening to musty old hip-hop with the Fungal Brothers plus a double dose of Wilco so I’ve been moping around wearing a lot of Goth make up. This album couldn’t have come at a better time.
No doubt The Cure’s grand opus. From the off with Plainsong this is full of epic, magisterial widescreen rock with pining vox, tingly guitars and rich oozy ooze bed of rich synth. Lovesong and Lullaby are probably the most upbeat eerie bops here but songs like Pictures Of You and Closedown are where the band are at their most glim glum, glacial and also gobsmackingly beautiful best.
The second side sort of disintegrates truly into a deep Disintegrationy bogland. It’s sort of like the Cure equivalent of turning over Sgt Peppers and every track being their version of Within You Without You. Melodically nothing as golden as anything off the first half but still nice to wallow in. And overall this is getting 5 stars. A true classic.
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
Didnae have big expectations going into this despite Move On Up and Superfly being cool cromulent soul classics… this was indeed cromulently cool although not quite a clear-cut classic. Funky, soulful, serene, splendiferous with a gritty socially conscious political edge and an inkling of reggae as well. Curtis’s falsetto is one of the pinchiest out there, so pinchy that it would make Prince wince. No one stellar favourite song but a very strong album listen. Highest of 3.5s.
Boards of Canada
5/5
A startlingly great debut album from the Scottish department of the National Film Board Of Canada. An eerie, often cheery, murky, chirpy odyssey deep into the heart and soul of the mind as well as future, present and faulty, faded, misremembered past. Intensely warm and nostalgic and incredibly pastoral for a frosty cool electronic album. A true synthtopia with the most wondrously vintage sounding keys, wooziylicious tape treatment and intricate, amazing, fresh sounding beats throughout. The grooviest blend of trip-hop, folk, psychedelia, funk, shoegaze, Sesame Street samples and more. If it weren’t for Purple Rain then this would comfortably be the best album on this list. Ok, let’s go crazy. This IS the joint best album on the list and together the two albums make Turquoise Hexagon Rain.
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
There are people who say that other Rage albums are their favourites but they’re probably fibbing because this is the clear and obvious champion of Rage albums. A true riff behemoth through and through, Bombtrack, Bullet In The Head and Know Your Enemy are among the very best metal tracks of the century. Killing In The Name is in another league above that as well. There is no song that is elementally more angry with rage. Whether it’s fighting racist cops, stopping the X-Factor Christmas number one or refusing to tidy your room, this is a protest anthem for all time. Album doesn’t burn quite as brilliantly during the last three tracks. The Thich Quang Duc guy on the cover probably simmers down a bit, gets restless and bored and starts shuffling around at some point during Township Rebellion. Overall the raging highs easily outnumber the minuscule fumbly lows and it’s hard to dispute what a classic, timeless, essential rocking beast this album is.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Does have a pretty sumptuous sonic palette throughout - Sgt Peppers, Spector Wall Of Sound and early 80s Sophistipop all swirl around and get stitched together splendiferously to make the most luxuriant technicolour dream-bed linen. Unfortunately it is quite baggy bed linen thanks to the bloated track list. For all the variety here there is possibly only a smattering of songs that shine out as semi Costello classics, namely Beyond Belief and Man Out Of Time. Vocal melodies and performances range from very good to kinda annoying.
U2
5/5
Really really really really really really really really great widescreen, anthemic, blockbuster dancey indie rock pop from Bono and crew. A grand overhaul and rejuvenation of their sound after the crusty dull fumblings of Rattle & Hum, a true solid classic for the 90s and also the opportunity to see bassist Adam Clayton’s ding dang on the back cover. Songs like One, Mysterious Ways and Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses are just grand slammer choons and the worst songs here aren’t really bad at all. Main only drawback of this record is that it isn’t really quite as good as The Joshua Tree. Given that Joshua Tree is ‘The Real Thing’, Bono is being quite misguided singing that Achtung Baby is Even Better Than The Real Thing. Even Faith No More’s The Real Thing I would probably put above this one. Still 5 stars for the site.
Black Sabbath
4/5
“Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry”. The joke being that this has quite the most overblown rating on here and on RYM despite at best having at best three great songs. Granted War Pigs, Paranoid and Iron Man are quite fantastic all-timers and very definitively peaks of early heavy metal. Planet Caravan on the first side is a right snoozer though and pretty much all the second side congeals into one moderately doomy indistinct average dungeony metal blurp. Still a 4 because of how good the top few tracks on here are.
Blondie
3/5
Very strong 3.5. You have a spate of bona fide pearly classic singles amongst of which the shimmery sleek discoey Heart Of Glass is my favourite. And Debbie Harry is on pretty delicious top form throughout. One of the coolest front ladies. But then besides that you have a strong delineation of quite firmly so-so new wavey filler. The white lines on the album cover were all actually filled in with Poly Filla. Definitely a top 1001 album cover and probably a top 1001 as well.
Lenny Kravitz
2/5
More like Let Love Drool. Or Let Average Spool. A 55 Minute Album Gruel. Stinkier than Elephant Stool. Better music could be made by Dr Steve Brule. Overall this is a punishingly average and derivative and aggravatingly bland listening experience and feels like the most boring lamest imitation of a dozen different better artists. There’s a microgram of Beatles, Prince, Hendrix and a tiny sponge of funk mental of Faith No More then diluted by a million parts water. It’s like classic rock and funk homeopathic medicine. Except it’s much harder to wade through than water (55 minutes felt like 300) so it’s more like some thick Kravitzy mucus that is used instead.
System Of A Down
4/5
For the sin of Toxicity not appearing on the 1001 albums list this one should really be dunked by a further 3 stars. It’s still an absolute blast of a debut however, full of brutal headbanging riffs and lots of tasty, twisty turny tempo and textural changes. It has that very unique sinister Middle Eastern vibe thanks to the band’s Armenian heritage and the lyrics are so super-charged whether it’s political, spiritual, personal or being plain goofy and singing about ancient arcade games. Frontman Serj Tankian is a maniacal voice acrobat genius with about 60 different vocal personalities and his death growls are as sonically pleasing as every time Frank Sinatra purs into the mic.
CHIC
3/5
A tour de force in the art of album unevenness. Runs the gamut from C’est Fantastique to C’est Weak, C’est Tragique and C’est Craptastique. Le Freak and I Want Your Love are two of the pearliest, supreme, pristine and powerhouse disco productions. Simply ace. The Fatman Scoop funk riff on Chic Cheer is also awesome but the actual song it turns into is pretty crappy. Savoire Faire is the most random bit of plain instrumental smooth jazz just to pad out the album a bit more. At Last I Am Free has an amazingly sensual and moody chord progression and vocal performance but with lyrics that basically amount to the title plus “I Can Hardly See In Front Of Me I Can Hardly See In Front Of Me” x1000, it kinda scoots way past its natural span as a song and continues into the distance for an apocalyptically long time. And (Funny) Bone is the crumbliest, lamest most filler way to end an album. So a very mixed bag overall. A few massive diamonds amongst the pig plop.
Robbie Williams
2/5
If there was a Mt Rushmore of biggest twats in the music business then Robbie Williams’ face would be on it four times. Just a huge horrible obnoxious twat. Best keywords I would use for this album would be Smug, Tedious, Obnoxious, Wanker, Useless, Twat, Shit, Wannabe, Oasis, Tryhard, Britplop, Untalented, Fat, Dancer, Crap, Annoying, Petty, Tiresome, Attention-Seeking, Knobend.
Guy Chambers can write the odd good song though and with Angels and Let Me Entertain You the album does have to its credit two of Robbie’s biggest and more acceptable hits. And Old Before I Die is kinda good and positive even though it’s a bit of a slick n smarmy inversion of The Who’s My Generation. The rest of this album is just really lousy tryhard ultra-processed Britpop twaddle with crap melodies, crap lyrics and crap singing. Ego Agogo is a complete no no and Clean where Robbie is friends with Mr Sheen, meets the Queen and won’t be obscene is the foremost graduate of the She’s Electric school of shit songwriting. 2 stars because Angels is a good song and it doesn’t have Rudebox I guess.
Simple Minds
3/5
Bit of a smeary, dreary, bleary effort. Almost has a glint of sparkly magical 80s sound and a couple or so songs do approach gems but a lot of the others are pretty rudderless and dour and too often the vocals are way beyond dank and muddy. Singer Jim Kerr gives some very jaded and wan performances so yeh the wan Kerr vocals on this do jerk the score down a bit. Jazz legend Herbie Hancock gets to provide some background synth squiggles on Hunter And The Hunted and it might as well have been by Barry from Eastenders for all the consequence it adds to the song. Promised You A Miracle is probably the best one here and it’s still pretty average in terms of actual melody. Someone Somewhere (In Summertime) somewhat sparky and fine. Simple Minds really did have to wait until the Breakfast Club soundtrack and Alive and Kicking to arrive at their two fully decent songs.
The Adverts
3/5
What’s the Buzzcocks tell me what’s a happening? What’s the Buzzcocks tell me what’s a happening?
This is 70s UK punk but less slummier and with an ever so slight power poppy edge a bit like The Buzzcocks but without any of the great songs. In fact most of the songs pretty much all sound the same from the first song till last. They’re not as annoying as their namesakes on TV, Amazon or YouTube but these are still adverts that are best skipped.
The Stooges
4/5
A very rocktastic, druggypunkyglammymetaltastic bomb blast helmed by the wicked talents of guitarist James Williamson and the scuzziest sublimiest slipshoddiest Bowie mix. Iggy does an ok amped up Jagger impersonation for the most part but the music itself is so dangerous, crazed, beautifully messy and chaotic and the wiry vicious sprawl of guitar heroics are so fierce and yummily jolting. At its best it’s properly exhilarating but the album is very uneven despite the short length. For example an ingenious intro song like Search And Destroy is followed up by a relative dud such as Gimme Danger and the patchiness continues throughout. Worth searching for and not destroying off this list though. 3.5 rounded up to 4.
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
2/5
This is Shaka Zulu and not Chaka Khan? Chaka mad!
Yep, this is not for me, Clive. I’m not really a worldy or spiritual guy and I’ve already listened to Graceland for this project. This pile of very gentle and smooth completely snoozy South African a capella sounds like sessions and outakes from Graceland that were not used because they were too boring. 2 stars.
Dolly Parton
3/5
Unlike Dolly’s rack there’s only proper large banger here which is the title track and it’s an incredibly blubbery one at that too. Very beautiful sweet tale and a true heart tugger. There really is not the same level of richness stitched in the other tracks but it’s still all pretty nice and pleasantish for a country album. Travelin Man definitely taken a trek to various subterranean Bob Dylan lands. 3.5 stars.
Jeff Buckley
5/5
THIS DAY ON SKY SPORTS SOCCER SATURDAY IN 1994…
CHRIS KAMARA: “Unbelievable, Jeff! With all the style and grace in the world this young, up-and-coming singer/centre-forward… [looks at notes] Jeff Buckley… he is whipping himself up into an almighty frenzy and state of perpetual climax and is spooging his entire body’s worth against the ball AND all the opposition players into the back of the net five times over and it’s not even the end of the second track yet! It’s going to be a massacre at this rate. A beautiful, howling, soul-stirring massacre. Over to you, Jeff.”
JEFF STELLING: They’ll be dancing in the streets of Jeff Buckley Solutions tonight!
Brian Eno
5/5
Before he was Riff Raff in Rocky Horror Picture Show, producer for U2 and presenter of the Crystal Maze, Brian Eno was the all-star synth noodler/knob twiddler for Roxy Music, eventually sacked for overshadowing and out-sexying Bryan Ferry.
On his clattering cool debut straight after leaving the group, Eno gives such a swish sexy smorgasbord of anarchic, experimental, punky but mostly tuneful songs/kooky kinky soundscapes that switches often between a futuristic/retro 50s flavour.
Baby’s On Fire with King Crimson’s Robert Fripp on guitar is a terse, menacing stand out and Needle In The Camel’s Eye is a scabrous scorching anthemic opener that singes the hairs on the back of the camel’s neck as well as giving it the titular eye injury. Dead Finks Don’t Talk with its effete talk singing is like a proto pet shop boys song but with the weirdest whooping S&M seal noises and at the end somebody just loads in a violent 8 bit video game cartridge. Overall this jets its way to a very warm 5.
Sonic Youth
1/5
Ugh… Sonic Youth.
This ain’t EVOL. It’s more like PARC or TISH. Certainly no hits on this record. 1.5 stars.
Japan
3/5
Am a huge japanophile. Akira, Eva, Cowboy Bebop, Nintendo, Kagemusha, Geishas, Tentacle porn etc. Love it. Not a huge fan of this though. Store brand Roxy and Bowie.
David Bowie
3/5
Unlike yesterday’s Japan album, this is the real Bowie thing. Except it’s not quite the proper Bowie thing because half of it is pretty crap and cobwebby sub-Boo’s haunted mansion ambience. Some classic Bowie moments on the first half like with Speed Of Life, Sound & Vision and New Career In A New Town but second side is a vast disappointment and like a sudden album quality prolapse to the centre of the earth.
Run-D.M.C.
2/5
“Hard times sucker MC's
Jays Game, thirty days
Wake up Hollis Crew
Rock Box it's like that
I love you still, I always will”
So Green Gartside from Scritti Politti loves this, will always but I find this a bit majorly ropey and belligerently dated with wimpy flow and headachy awful beats. If this weren’t on 1001 albums list it would be a Run D.N.F. It’s Like That By Way Of Jason Nevins 90s remix is the only real good song on here.
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
Kevin Rowland’s voice is a bit of a strange one. It is very like Roland Rat (make that ‘Rowland Rat’!) but always yowling and with a brain injury that makes his speech mainly incomprehensible. But it’s not actually too annoying on this album and there are quite a few good choons with rich, horny, solemn but sassy northerner soul horn grooves. Lots of good quality trumpeting and tromboning amongst the weird, wild n wonky Roland Rat yowling. Geno is the pick of the pops whereas that spoken word free sax love poem towards the end is the king of the stinkers along with the Jimmy Somerville Yorkshire song. High 3.5 stars.
The Notorious B.I.G.
4/5
Good prime bit of rough raunchy 90s hippity hop. Biggie is a moet et chandon poet and spits out better rhymes, commits more crimes and snorts more lines than a billion Busta Rhymes. His flow and storytelling definitely make this a captivating listen even if the only main magic poppy moments could not have been done without Isley Brothers and Mtume. Not chunked with classic hits plus a few dodge skits but still a strong listen for the genre nonetheless.
The Mothers Of Invention
4/5
So Sgt Pepper had Bob Dylan on the cover but this one has Jimi Hendrix so it’s at least better in one way. Very freaky, biting, madcap, eclectic and satirical, sticking it to hippies at every turn. No need for Residents on this list, this album has weird cartoony pitch-shifted ditties covered to a tee and about a decade earlier. Nasal Retentive Calliope Music has Benefit Of Mr Kite beat. Chrome Plated Megaphone Of Destiny perhaps loses to Day In The Life by a small margin.
OutKast
3/5
Unlike Speakerboxx and The Love Below where each member of OutKast had their own separate maxed out disc, this is a bit more at their creative and collaborative zenith and actually manages more than one good song between them. Ms Jackson is the pick of the pops but there are a few other blazing tracks like B.O.B as well. Very stanky, trancy, funky, soulful n gangsta but often quite dank drudgy as well and still overlong by 40 minutes. Cut it right down to Revolver length and Stankonia would definitely be a more glorious nation.
Suede
2/5
A quite hopelessly dreary, smeary, dull snoozefest of a record. I almost said blur but it’s not actually even a 100th the quality of the worst songs from Modern Life Is Rubbish. Very soupy, wannabe grandiloquent and faux symphonic. It all falls flat because the songs are so boring and with barely any lingering hooks. Singer also has that really mingy, cod-glam, sub-Bowie whine. And put on some goddamn pants!
David Bowie
4/5
A higher mid-tier Bowie release. Opener title track is barnstormer plastic soul and the rest of the first half is generally strong. Cover of Across The Universe is a little overwrought and questionable but metatextually links with the John Lennon co-written Fame at the end which is the one other unquestionable funkytastic gem off of this. Low 4.
JAY Z
1/5
More like The Poo Print. I got 9999 listening projects but Jay Z ain’t one.
Janet Jackson
3/5
More like a dribbly Rhythm Archipelago. Quite a few smooth, silky slow jam and jacktastic new jack swing islets with a lot of searing social conscience in the sea air (plus a Human by Human League sounding islet as well) but overall too long and spaced out and could have done with shoring up into a more compact and impressive rhythm land mass. Mid 3.5 stars.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
From one of the all-time greatest rock gods, this is probably the Zeus of double albums. At the peak of his creativity, an almighty flurry of awesome poptastic, bluestastic, psychedelic supreme songage, fantabulous 15 minute jams, blissed out side-long ventures of turning into a merman and signing off with the greatest 1-2 with All Along The Watch Tower and Voodoo Child (Slight Return). Lay Ladyland Lay in my big gold 5 star bed.
Fugazi
3/5
All the flavours of post-hardcore. Plain.
Bebel Gilberto
3/5
Hey lookies it’s very generic seeming 00s bossa nova. Oh it’s not on streaming what a shame. Anyway… onto any other album.
R.E.M.
4/5
A very good document from R.E.M but not their best one. That would be either Automatic For The People or Murmur. This one has a punchy, tight, more rockin and polemic feel and maybe 3 or so real classic tracks - Finest Worksong, It’s The End Of The World As We Know It and The One I Love and at a push maybe Exhuming McCarthy. Not so many good tracks on side B so it’s perhaps a bit of a rushed document. Overall grade A minus.
Deep Purple
3/5
Totemic early 70s hard rock album that is nonetheless quite creaky in places with a lot of sloppy shrieks and noodlage. Speed King and Child In Time hold up as true colossus classic rock tracks whereas the rest is all a bit chalky and crumbly. High 3.5.
Fela Kuti
3/5
Very afrobeaty kind of afrobeat. Occasionally gets into a glint of a good groove over the course of its two tracks. Album very skimpy though at 25 minutes. You could put on a typical Beach Boys or Loving Spoonful album during the same timeframe and be guaranteed at least 8 or so great tracks as opposed to 0.0025.
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
I love all the Echo & Bunnymen flavours. Ocean Plain. All the flavours…
To be fair this one does have a couple of OK tunes for them with Crystal Days and The Killing Moon but Ian McCulloch is still a bit of a bozo and all the other songs tend to be really dreary and dour.
Nirvana
4/5
An album of similar stature and circumstance to Joy Division’s Closer except not quite as good. You have Scentless Apprentice as pulverising highs, a few other classic not-as-pulverising tracks like All Apologies, Dumb and Heart Shaped Box and below that Pennyroyal tea as bleary mids, Milk It and Tourettes as punishing mids, and Very Poo Ape and Radio Friendly Poo-nit Shifter as poopy lows. On balance though still a pretty great record.
Green Day
3/5
Landmark 00s rock opera that at 57 minutes is more like an extended Nickelodeon TV special than a proper fully fledged Broadway piece. There are a trio of actual classic singles on this but outside of those three good songs, the album is more of a big tarpit of mediocre, melodically samey pop punk that oozes with a slightly different riff or time signature every two minutes. Lots of oppressively dull multi-part tracks and album experience is a bit like “fed up of this boring sludge now… ooh Boulevard Of Broken Dreams is on, yippee… fed up of this boring sludge now… ooh Wake Me Up When September Ends yippee!
Taylor Swift
1/5
Tay Tay obviously has had her hand in quite a few meaty pop bangers, particularly on her 2014 indie-pop opus 1989. 2020’s Folklore was a bit of a red flag in that although it marked a more matured folkier indie sound and occasionally did feel marginally dreamy, woozy, emotional and introspective it ultimately wasn’t overly that interesting or exciting and was more on the level of Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk if it was all the slowie ballads done by someone like Christine McVie’s spoilt transatlantic niece. This quick fire follow-up Evermore just happens to mish-mash that same matured folky change of direction with an almightily blander modern pop formula and the result is an hours worth of music that is so stultifying that it’s basically coma-inducing. Prettily sung but ultimately very boring, samey, one-paced melodies and overwhelmingly plain chord progressions and instrumental arrangements. It’s probably held up as a gold standard of current day songwriting but compared to the likes of Joni or Dylan or even acts such as Doves or Shack this album just feels incredibly feeble.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
5/5
"I'm forever near a stereo saying, what the f**k is this garbage? And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers."
From Nick Cave, whose former band The Birthday Party is responsible for Junkyard.
This on the other hand is a true out and out rock classic from the late 90s. A fantabulous comeback record after guitarist John Frusciante left and then rejoined the group. It’s fun, funky, rocky but not too cocky. A little older and a little wiser. Around The World, Otherside, Scar Tissue and the title track are all S tier songs for the decade and whilst the second half is not as strong there’s nothing here that falls below a 7 out of 10 and delicate tracks like Porcelain and Road Trippin’ show off the band’s incredible range with aplomb. Album score is 4.5 if I feel dutiful. Take a 5 because life is beautiful
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Not the most essential Bob Marley album - that would be Exodus. Quite a few too many cuts here are simply fine or ok but Stir It Up at least is one true reggae classic to file alongside Three Little Birds, Night Nurse, Reggae Reggae Sauce and Redemption Song.
Gang Starr
3/5
Minorly blammin but mainly beigey, wallpapery early 90s hip hop. Good for a background gangsta.
Neneh Cherry
4/5
Feisty raps. Blammin beats. Smexy album cover. Squishy, smexy album title. First track and main hit single Buffalo Stance is the turbocharged crown jewel here but there’s a good stack of fair cool, old-skool hip hoppity dancey RnB goodness sloshing around here. Also Massive Attack-adjacent with Andrew ‘Mushroom’ Vowles on turntables and Robert Del Naja aka 3D aka Banksy co-writing Manchild.
Paul McCartney and Wings
4/5
A bit like Red Bull, Paul McCartney gives you wings… for the first few songs at least. Title track and Jet are some serious peak poppy anthemage but the tunes do get a bit softer and floppier as the album goes on. Second side is quite underpowered comparatively and Paul knows it because he brings back the two main good songs Band On The Run and Jet in reprisey medley form to fill up the back half. Nineteen Hundred And Eighty-Five a strong butchy Hey Bulldoggy closer to bring the album back up to 4.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
5/5
Lord, Buddha or Flying Spaghetti Monster bless the random generator that delivers 2 RHCP albums within a week. You have Beatles and George Martin, Bowie and Visconti but also Chili Peppers and Rick Rubin for perfect band/producer matches made in music heaven.
With their fifth album overall but only the second with the classic line up of John Frusciante, Chad Smith, Kiedis and Flea, the group by recommendation of Rubin move into The Mansion in Laurel Canyon where Hendrix and Houdini lived and Beatles once took LSD. And the result is they step up several thousand gears, make a masterpiece and break out into superstardom and all-important Simpsons appearance.
It rocks hard and in such a completely funky place. And with creamy dashes of folk and psychedelia. Lyrics are sexy, sometimes outrageously so but also with a heavy dose of spiritualness and social consciousism. Amongst the slammin party jams like Suck My Kiss and Give It Away there are tenderer moments like soul-searching Breaking The Girl and I Could Have Lied as well as touching tribute to former guitarist Hillel Slovak with My Lovely Man. And then of course Under The Bridge which sees Keidis at his most poetic, self-scouring and powerful as he looks back on his drug addiction and a number one by virtue of All Saints. And above all that the album just funks and sexes a thousand extra measures or so.
Album overall just feels like four top class, hyper-virulent musicians and souls all in their twenties and at the peak of their game, informed by the best of Sly, Hendrix, Prince, Beatles, Led Zep and even Robert Johnson and making the most lascivious album equivalent to Stones’ Exile On Main Street. It’s as classic is as classic does.
Best tracks: Suck My Kiss, Give It Away, Under The Bridge, Sir Psycho Sexy.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
It’s like a Smash Bros Final Destination battle between the Casiotone beats and cheesy backing singers but amongst the brawl there are about three top class Cohen songs here with First We Take Manhattan, I’m Your Man and Everybody Knows. 3.5 stars.
Brian Wilson
3/5
A really really good album for the fact that Brian Wilson is finally able to nail a version of Smile after 37 years with a little help from some friends. Compositionally it is propers glorious at times and coursing with so much frothy fevered genuisness - Heroes & Villains, Cabinessence, Wonderful, Surf’s Up and Good Vibrations. The first third of the album carries the most momentum. The stretch from Wonderful to Surf’s Up is just has the pretttiest chords ever and is absolutely splendorific. The last third of the record definitely gets a bit lost at sea though. The main plus point of the record is that it sets the template for 2011’s Smile Sessions which uses all archived material and sounds much, much better. Brian’s voice is super fuddy-duddled at this point and sunshine pop scourge The Wondermints who help with the backing arrangements and harmonies sound very icky, lame, plastic and children’s novelty like some Veggie Tales house band. On top of Vege-Tables being an actual poisonous track, this album overall frankly is a 3 star one at best.
Booker T. & The MG's
3/5
A bunch of dusty Hammond blues doodles plus the title song which is actually completely timeless and classic. I guess the album is okay but I would enjoy this album more if the other tracks were deleted and the title song was put on loop 12 times over.
AC/DC
4/5
This one is a bit like Green Onions by Booker T & The 3.0 AVGs but maybe a step better in that yep it’s a classic rock record through and through. I’m sure every song is great. But still, the title track is the main one I actually jump to and I wouldn’t mind if the 9 other songs were deleted and Back In Black was on here 10 times such is the awesomeness of it. Low 4 because at least it generally rocks even if a bit bleh.
Jane's Addiction
4/5
A nice skanky smorgasbord of rock, funk, folk and psychedelia with themes of sexy sex, drug shooting and serial killerness. Feels a little more turbo-charged than their 2nd album Ritual de lo Habitual plus also with the tastier album art. High 4.
Lou Reed
5/5
The height of solo Lou Reed thanks to David Bowie and Mick Ronson. Key early glam centrepiece, partner album to Ziggy and easy 5 for the website thanks to beautifully arranged stunners like Perfect Day, Walk On The Wild Side and Satellite Of Love. Other album cuts are maybe a little underpared but still tuneful and good with closer Goodnight Ladies the one main damp tuba-lined squib. High 4.5.
2/5
Not in high spirits for this one. Deeply plain and average. Like a hokey mish mush of several dozen better late 60s/early 70s acts. I should sue the group and the author of 1001 over how utterly inessential this album is. Plus I swear Spirit ripped off the opening progression of listening to paint dry.
The Stooges
4/5
A light 4. Pretty raucous and rawkin and indeed a moderate house of fun. If the first half is the main fun house then second half is slightly cruddier, more of an outhouse but overall kinda cool crazy influential record
Bob Dylan
4/5
Probably the best non-jazz, non-Beatles album of 1963, this one is mostly Dylanny Dylanner on his own and freewheels for a bit too long at 50 minutes with a few extra ramblin cranky old fogey cuts but is primed with insightful, politically attuned, absolute folkin timeless classics like Blowin In The Wind, Masters Of War, Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright and A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall as well as more good stuff like Oxford Town and Corinna, Corinna. Fourwheelin’ Bob Dylan.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
Solid, dependable classic Bruce for the 80s with extra scrummy big arena synthiness and some megaton barnstormers. The opener title song is the key blazing, ultra-raw; out of this world composition but there are other hefty whoppers like Glory Days, Dancing In The Dark and even Downtown Train which is a dead ringer for Dead Ringer by Meat Loaf. Other highlights I’m On Fire and faint sundown closer My Hometown. Strong 4 for the site.
The Pharcyde
1/5
This is a shit ride. A very lame, cheesy, non-vital hip-hop excursion. Oh Shit is the kind of song that rhymes Oh Shit with Oh Shit and there are some occasional ok jazzy samples later on but overall this is massive disappoint. So bad it makes me want to commit Pharoah-cide.
Fever Ray
2/5
Not particularly essential. Quite Bjork-lite at the times the vocals aren’t pitch shifted to some subterranean Jabba The Hut sized gorgon. Act would improve if it changed its name to Beaver Ray.
Michael Jackson
4/5
Terrific first solo venture with Quincy M.E. First side is all gold with some seriously funky disco workouts plus out-and-out classics like Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough and Rock With You. Second side gets a bit soppier but still fairly good. Overall I give this 4 bags of Shamone out of 5 and some cupped tubs of Hee Hee.
808 State
5/5
Throw that REM Document album from 2 or 3 weeks ago into the bin because this is the only actual document you need… of late 80s acid house! First track gets off to an almighty blissed, dizzying, utopian start - “it’s a fantasy taking over your mind so let it roll let it roll with ease it will take control of the rest of your soul and explode in a magical dream” - and outside of that there are some choice squiggly acid-drenched dance workouts like Cobra Bora and 808080808. Pick of the pops however is Pacific 202 which is basically exotic pop perfection with the most iconic synth pads and loon bird calls and sees band member Graham Massey plucking a soprano sax for the first time and pulling all the best notes from high heaven. Album is only a 4.5 because Sunrise is too much of a cool down and last track Fat Shadow even if a minute long does legitimately suck.
Culture Club
3/5
Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon definitely would make a 1001 songs list for the 1980s but otherwise this is a pretty uncultured choice of album for the list. It’s A Miracle and Miss Me Blind are nicey nice, slightly above-average slices of 80s pop but there are quite a few crusty dull gospelly ballads that drag proceedings and generally it’s all the type of music that Wham and Style Council do a lot better. 3 by numbers.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
A 2005 atom bomb of pretentiousness and twee, this has maybe 12 good minutes of folk melodies and a massive load of faux Steve Reich and 12 Musicians-style orchestrations that pads out the time to an excruciating 75 minutes. Did need to strip it all down and have some relatives die on Carrie And Lowell to make some actual great music.
Kate Bush
4/5
A very strong 4 with some heavy heavy hitters all on the first side. Running Up That Hill, The Big Sky, Cloudbusting and Title Track are some of the most gigantic and tastiest productions of the decade (Although Utah Saints did one-up Cloudbusting with their release of Something Good and it’s amazing how much of this album M83 lifted for Saturdays = Youth to maybe even tastier effect). Second side The Ninth Wave is very artsy and ambitious and sweetly folksy and world-influenced but also a tad sketchy and uneven with some choppy, jarring vocals effects and poor choice of spoken word guests and ultimately is not a completely satisfying suite.
Drive Like Jehu
1/5
Atrocious. Tedious, yelpy screamo emo with ultra-repetitive tendencies that inspired other painful music as In The Drive-In. One of the worst and most pointless albums I’ve done for 1001. Not just a Yank Crime but also an International Crime.
The Byrds
3/5
A notedly un-notorious Byrd Brothers collection. It’s particularly patchy and underpowered even for them and has some incredibly drab and dirge like cuts. The best tracks are all the bonus ones such as the rejected David Crosby threesome ballad Triad and the jivesome Moog Raga.
Thelonious Monk
3/5
Decent Corners. Some nice angular, dextrous, distinctive piano runs plus the odd good jazz tune but the horns, brass or whatever are more often than not a bit pharpy and annoying.
Tangerine Dream
5/5
Massive breakthrough album for Tangerine Dream on Virgin Records at around the same time as Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells. This is the first of theirs to not feel entirely harsh and spacey and have a little semblance of softness and melody. Side-long opener title track is a mini-masterpiece, very ambient, wonderful, proggy, psycheldic and serene before it glides into a siren-blaring space station meltdown situation. Second side is sketchier and not quite as magisterial but overall still a class work.
Napalm Death
4/5
It’s probably because 50% of this album is scuzzily recorded blast beats but this album is an absolute blast. 10 years after Never Mind The Bollocks, this feels like the one anti-establishment album to successfully carry the baton from it. Awesome album artwork to boot. Vocals are mainly of the thudding Cookie Monster or shrieking demon variety but there’s enough mixing between intense blast beats and slower classic metal riffing to keep it at least two note. It’s not as if the band don’t have talent because Justin Broadrick playing guitars on the first side went on to form industrial stalwarts Godflesh and Shoegaze/Slowcore sleeping giants Jesu. Ideal album version really is the first side ending with outstanding world record-breaking prog-epic You Suffer aka GNNNGHHHH!!!!.
The United States Of America
1/5
The Poo-nited States Of Poo-merica. There must be 15 other Beach Boy albums, a few other Lovin’ Spoonful and at least 1 more Jefferson Airplane album from the 60s that are worthier for inclusion than this bleh, inessential hipsy dipsy craptrap.
Radiohead
5/5
As classic and awesome as a Radiohead album can be. The Bends, High And Dry, Fake Plastic Trees, Just, My Iron Lung and Street Spirit are six of the very greatest songs of the 90s and they’re all on here. It rawks hard, sears beautifully with its ballads and is refreshingly normal on the verge of Oasis and Cast-friendly Britpop with none of the later Radiohead glitch n bleep bloop. Bones boasts my favourite bassline on the album and is an epic lesser cut and even the weakest tracks like Black Star still chime along and hold up incredibly well. No bending it about, this is a stiff, iron clad 5.
Kanye West
4/5
Nice rare blockbuster album effort for the 2010s. Kanye is at the top of his tormented braggadocio game here and there are loads of great features and samples throughout. King Crimsony-assisted Power and Runaway are the runaway standout productions but All Of The Lights and Aphex Twin derivative Blame Game are also brilliant tracks.
Quicksilver Messenger Service
1/5
This is several thousand leagues below what I expect of a good 1001 album or even a Quicksilver Messenger Service one. It starts off with very lame, twungy Bo Diddley riffing and collapses into the most pointless, cobwebby King Crimson Moonchild style instrumental noodling, wall-staring and thumb twiddling. The entire record ends up mainly being a grotesquely stretched out jam version of that one Bo Diddley song plus a corny minute long cover of Happy Trails. It’s all about as revolting as the clash of witchy green lettering and garmonbozia yellow on the god awful album sleeve.
Fleet Foxes
2/5
Mega twee, typically pitchfork-approved indie pabulum with some occasionally golden harmonies but also lots of ultra sparse, dull, sub-My Morning Jacket songs. One breed of fox I wouldn’t mind seeing as especially squished road kill.
Cyndi Lauper
3/5
Outside of the two main titanic hits Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and Time After Time, this is a quite usual 80s pop album, quite uneven and with a fair wodge of filler. When You Were Mine is a decentish Prince cover and She Bop has 10/10 boundary and bean pushing subject matter but is a pretty average bop in and of itself. The Betty Boop finale is mega nasty and brings the album to a rough, stinky, nails on chalkboard end.
Rod Stewart
2/5
Okayish, kinda oatmeal rootsy folk rock. Maggie May is the only real essential classic snapshot on the album that has a memorable melody and a story worth telling. Underpowered closer Reason To Believe was done better by The Carpenters. The playing from the backing band throughout is good and with feeling but the hoarse scarecrow tonsils of Rod Stewart could join Betty Boop-mode Cyndi Lauper, Drive Like Jehu front guy and the Residents crew in my own personal 1001 harmony group from hell. This is a resoundingly 3 star album because of the good playing yet mainly average songs but I have to knock it further down for Rod Stewart being a Nigel Farage and Enoch Powell supporter.
The Police
4/5
A fairly classic Police album on the surface. This has Message In A Bottle and Walking On The Moon which are amongst their very, very best. It does get a tad stretched in the second half and with a surplus of wacky, often subpar Stewart Copeland songs. On Any Other Day is pretty cool tbf with its snotty, monotone rap delivery that is a bit like proto Bloodhound Gang. Does Everybody Stare is more like I’m Dancing In The Show Tonight by Ween. Greatest Hits is their ultimate album but all their albums along with this one need to be on 1001 tbh. Easy 4 stars.
Coldplay
5/5
Phenomenal superstar-making second album from the Coldplay clan. Parachutes as a debut was great but here they step up the consistency and quality of their songwriting a further notch and create a true blockbuster for the ages where every track is amazing, every track is a stunner. On A Rush Of Blood To The Head, Coldplay do ascend to the top of Mount Olympus and become the Zeus of searing, heartfelt, starry indie and soft rock balladry with timeless hits such as In My Place, Clocks and The Scientist, stellar strength in depth such as Green Eyes, Warning Sign, Amsterdam and the title track plus crashing, 9-11 inspired opener Politik and hugely fine, hypnotic deep cuts like Daylight and A Whisper. In terms of sheer overall magnificence it is like Abbey Road, Rumours, OK Computer, Thriller, Songs In The Key Of Life Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here and the good parts of Beatles White Album all whisked into one. 5+
Sisters Of Mercy
2/5
Not a floodland as such. Fairly parched of anything that constitutes as 1001-worthy music to be honest. This is as crummy, dank and dated as goth music can get. Give me Sister Sledge any day. Swing Out Sister would easily be a better pick over this as well.
Britney Spears
2/5
So this one has sold as many copies as Queen’s Greatest Hits and Eric Clapton’s Unplugged but perhaps is fair to say hasn’t held up quite as well. The title track is a totally iconic, classic, perfect bit of pop that is head and shoulders plus a few pigtails and sexy schoolgirl uniforms above any of the other songs here. Probably a whole high school as well. There are a few other singles near the start that are somewhat decent but to be honest once the rancid raga of Soda Pop happens the album becomes irreparably shaky and even though the tracks after it aren’t quite as awful it sort of collapses into real characterless, generic teeny pop bilge and then more crap at the end with Email My Heart and Beat Goes On cover. The bonus track Autumn Goodbye is actually a pretty killer bop and I would select the single version of Baby One More Time with its remixes and B side of Autumn Goodbye over the full length debut in terms of being more essential and loaded.
5/5
Probably the group’s masterwork. Insanely tight and polished, this one feels like a super slick blend of Queen-style operatic rock, Spaghetti Western, Classical, Techno and occasional toxically yummy Britney Spears-inspired pop with the likes of Supermassive Black Hole. There are lots of stellar moments peppered throughout but its main is skill is building gradually up to its core-kickass and climaxing phase with the ridiculously rollicking Knights Of Cydonia. It’s such a shame they combusted immediately after this album and a fake Muse group took their place churning out markedly inferior stuff.
Michael Jackson
5/5
Greatest selling album of all time from the King of Pop and probable king of pedos. Nearly every song is super resplendent and hyper iconic and even the weakest final song Lady In My Life is still really lovely. Probably a trillion dollars worth of talent with MJ, Quincy Jones, Paul McCartney, Eddie Van Halen, Vincent Price, Toto, Seawind Horns, Louis Johnson, Greg Philliganes, Paulinho Da Costa etc. Out of all the incredible tracks here, PYT is by a distance the sparkliest, divinest, chipmunky and lyrically least appropriate gem here. Easy 5 stars.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Generally minor shades of good but because of the majorly murderous main theme of the record it gets a bit much over the course of an hour. Could it not have been Care Bear Ballads instead? The PJ Harvey and Kylie duets and I guess the Dylan cover at the end are the main things that provide a welcome relative break from all the moany murdering monotony.
My Bloody Valentine
4/5
A most brill, venerable comeback record from the toppermost troupe of 90s shoegaze. It’s not quite the masterpiece to match Loveless but does go toe to toe with their debut Isn’t Anything. Some choice swirly, dreamy, psychedelic noise assaults. Particular highlights are Is This And Yes with its stark organ and sparse, twinkly midnight vibe and New You which is a wondrous, hyper blissed groove monster that rivals Soon as my fav MBV track. Does trail off slightly into stuck on a groove drum n bass festival in a wind tunnel chogginess towards the end but overall still the highest of 4s. Definitely a 1001 album to check out before you die for My Bloody Valentine fans.
Adele
2/5
A heftily bland and mediocre multi-platinum effort for the most part with very forceful yet mega soulless and sterile, robotised singing. Rolling In The Deep is ok but Someone Like You goes round and round and squeals painfully for an eternity and would be very high up in my own personal Torture Songs playlist. Low 2 because except for Someone Like You it isn’t exactly bad, just boring.
Arcade Fire
2/5
Cool grandiose rock sound with rich orchestral, folksy and twee elements as well as booming dollops of Springsteen and church organ. Absolutely withered husks of songs with wafty microgram melodies that mean to build somewhere but just don’t turn into anything memorable or interesting. Wan Butler’s quivery waily delivery gets pretty annoying as well. The best song is probably No Cars Go which is recycled from their debut EP from 2002. Other than that this is a perfect follow up album to Funeral.
The Black Keys
3/5
This is an album by the Black Keys. This is the dictionary definition of bog-standard and shouldn’t be anywhere near a 1001 Albums To Listen To Before You Die list.
Frank Zappa
5/5
Hot stuff. Zappa has done several dozen brilliant albums but this one is particularly top drawer. It rocks. It stomps. It jazzes. It goes bluesy goosey. It proms harder than the proms in its own freaky way. A forward thinking wide-scoped fusion masterpiece with genius monster musicianship throughout. 5 rats out of 5.
Marty Robbins
3/5
Somewhat good for a country album but still not totally that good and also ploughs the same furrow quite a lot. Tracks sound pretty similar and are mainly about outlaws, being hanged or pining for some Mexican gal. Low 3.
Nico
2/5
Conan The Barbarian sings Parsley Sage Rosemary & Thyme but the songs are all listless and dirge like. Halfway through a strong gust of some kind blows away all the string section’s sheet music and they do the most scratchy, waily, droney free form for about 8 minutes. Not for me, Clive.
Hugh Masekela
3/5
Razzy, snazzy jazzer album with a general rich, earthy, vibrant feel to it. Pretty directionless though and with super interminable track durations. I felt I was trapped and suffocating in snazzy razzmatazzy jazz elevator for most of a lifetime but really I was only halfway through the second track. Wouldn’t want to call this home let alone a possible Air BnB destination.
Solomon Burke
3/5
Old King Solomon was a merry old soul… yeah, man! His personal life on quick glance is ‘massively’ more interesting than this album in fact. He ended up fathering 21 sprog which is a figure Elon Musk is still a third of the way to matching and on top of that he had 90 grand sprog. In the time leading up to his death from pulmonary embolism after being warned not to travel he weighed 350 pounds, looking like a cross between Ceelo Green and Jabba The Hutt and he insisted on performing on a throne which he had to be wheeled, forklifted or even air craned onto. In terms of this record specifically and its musical value, it’s a somewhat warm, amiable, silky sixties soul venture that gets just a little crusty and samey over its runtime. The key high points are Cry To Me because it’s a bit more classic and impassioned and is used in Dirty Dancing, Won’t You Give Him (One More Chance) because it’s janglier and parts of it sound like Sunny and also Jim Reeves cover He’ll Have To Go because Jim Reeves and He’ll Have To Go. Not a rock solid 4 overall. More of a shaky 3.5.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
Has one total classic choon with Sympathy For The Devil, one semi-classic choon with Street Fighting Man and then is mainly a bunch of yawny, country-infested bluesy roots music. The third actual best rockin song is probably Stray Cat Blues which is about having a threesome with a 15 year old, so a teensy bit dodgesville. And as classic and electrifying as the majority of Sympathy For The Devil is, it is the guitar licks in the outro that stop it from flagging because the woo woos do get slightly old after the millionth time and Jagger does his best to wreck the song by squealing around tiresomely in tongues. So overall a bit of a mixed Rolling Stones bag.
The Electric Prunes
3/5
A super iffy batch of prunes - Has some decently groovy psychedelic pop nuggets but also some absolute dross especially in the mainly rotten second half and with extra attention to showtuney shitscapade sendoff Toonerville Trolley. A most haphazardly prunish of 3s.
Radiohead
5/5
Brilliant Computers. This is as sure of an easy 5 star classic record of the ages as you can get. As sure as a pig in a cage rises like Olympus on antibiotics above the Serengeti. In terms of the great battle between this and The Bends, whilst both are 5s it’s clear that OK Computer packs more bangers and is just a higher form of art. Nearly every song is an exquisitely doomy and dystopian celestial high point with Fake Plastic Trees aka the best song on Bends still getting easily outstripped and there are just a few relatively lacklustre patches such as Let Down, Tourist and Electioneering that allow a few Bends songs to sneak in.
planet telex vs AIRBAG 0-1
the bends vs PARANOID ANDROID 0-2
high and dry vs SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK ALIEN 0-3
fake plastic trees vs EXIT MUSIC 0-4
BONES vs let down 1-4
nice dream vs KARMA POLICE 1-5
JUST vs fitter happier 2-5
MY IRON LUNG vs electioneering 3-5
bulletproof vs CLIMBING UP THE WALLS 3-6
black star vs NO SUPRISES 3-7
sulk vs LUCKY 3-8
STREET SPIRIT vs the tourist 4-8
If this was Final Score being read out by Mark E Smith you would definitely have OK Computer being declared as the landslide victor.
Duke Ellington
4/5
If there’s only one Ellington album to check out before you die then I guess this will do. Very high class throughout. No Satin Doll and about 60% overdubs but still a tasty swathe of Dukey Treats and a snatch of Shortnin Bread in there as well.
David Gray
3/5
Nice dreary late 90s folktronic salvo, or at least initially. Starts off strong with Babylon the key evergreen wuss fire anthem and This Year’s Love later on another croaky sadtastic classic. The staring out of a window on a rainy day sameyness does get quite maddening throughout its overlong runtime though and it does congeal speedily into one bleary, subsatisfactory folktronic splodge.
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
3/5
This ain’t exactly essential listening but I guess is ok for 50s folk. The best things I can say about it is that he lives up fully to his ramblin’ name, is still going strong at 94 and has a nice hat.
Patti Smith
2/5
An important record of the Heebee Jeebie movement no doubt, Patti Smith’s mid-70s debut is the archetype of art rock with attitude. With its raw, unvarnished production style and snarling, ragged (nay, ‘hoarse’) vocals, it throws in dollops of reggae and monolithic slabs of spoken word for good measure and the net effect is a record that beyond the first track Gloria mainly makes for painful listening. Clearly a massively influential record, you can hear a lot of bad Blondie, bad Nick Cave and better than average PJ Harvey in this. If these songs were horses competing at the Grand National then they would all grimly fall at the first hurdle, except Gloria which might straggle on for a bit after a ropey start but it’s left for Rikkie Lee Jones The Horses to clinch the title in a leading pack of Prefab Sprout’s Wild Horses, America’s A Horse With No Name and U2’s Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
5/5
An incredibly well equipped Elvis Costello album, certainly one where he is at the peak of his commercial powers and is at his imperious poppy best. Album opens with a string of absolutely divine new-wavy pearls - Accidents Will Happen and Senior Service deserve to be decorated with the highest military honors. As does Oliver’s Army which shot in at number 2 with a bullet, only kept off the top of the charts by Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive and also Bee Gees’ Tragedy which sums up the situation very well in just one song title. Despite the rushing stampede of elephant-sized brilliant tracks at the start, there is enough firepower left over the course of the album that make it a very strong overall listen. The ‘armed forces’ album concept is kept to very diligently, making for a ship-shape, tight unit and there are some other grand album highlights like gargantuan barnstormer Goon Squad and sensual, shivery Green Shirt. Soon after the album on a tour in America, Elvis Costello got involved in a drunken brawl where he called James Brown a jive-arsed n something and Ray Charles a blind ignorant n something in a way to bring his conversation with Bonnie Bramlett to a swift close and then his chart fortunes basically were not quite the same after that. Despite this he did go on to achieve some more artistic highs such as collabing on an album with Burt Bacharach, singing on the Notting Hill and Austin Powers 2 movie and making about 50 other Elvis Costello albums that are all in this list.
Megadeth
4/5
Very shredalicous. Essential 80s metal for sure. Amazing quickfire nuclear blast of an album with sterling guitars constantly and not too especially annoying vocals. About as shreddy as a serrated box of Shreddies being enjoyed by Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Alanis Morissette
2/5
Quite gnarly and grating as a vocalist, at least on record. Sounds like a cross between Eddie Vedder and the mum from Malcolm In The Middle. A couple of top class songs but also a lot of average. Plus very dated 90s production. Ragged little 2.5
Finley Quaye
1/5
Starts off Finley Okay Enough even though it is pretty lame, soupish, generic pop reggae. About 5 tracks in is Ride On And Turn The People On which is an insufferably cheesy turning point though and the album becomes Finley Definitely Not Okay. Also the guy ended up having a long history of violence, domestic abuse, bankruptcy and being chucked out of venues for being shambolic so is a bit of a Finley Qunt.
Spiritualized
1/5
More like Lazer Guided Piffle. This is the most yawnsomy, bleary hour-long pile of whatever I’ve encountered yet on this list. I can’t bring myself to call it Space Rock or Dream Pop, I’d instead have to give it blank spaces in regard to genre descriptors. After listening to this I feel about as spiritualised as Steve The Extremely Serious Atheist at the world’s most serious atheist convention.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3/5
An okay debut with Breakdown and American Girl being the best of all the okay songs. Tom Petty would go to be the weakest member of the Traveling Wilburys. I would have put Full Moon Fever in this list over this.
Johnny Cash
3/5
Has some grand performances in the shape of A Boy Named Sue and Lovin’ Spoonful cover Darlin Companion as well as some top class bants in front of the prison folk. Overall package is a bit slapdash and unsatisfying though and it unravels a bit too abruptly with the last track. It could well be his best live prison album because the other one doesn’t have Boy Named Sue or any Lovin Spoonful songs. Light 3.5.
Circle Jerks
2/5
More like Circle Berks. Crusty hardcore skater punk at the turn of the 80s and about 15 minutes long with most of it being filler. If this were any longer it would definitely be staring down the barrel of a 1 star rating.
The Psychedelic Furs
2/5
Some of the most mingy, diseased vocals ever put to record. First track is particularly horrid and has the aural effect of Johnny Rotten’s rotting cadaver uncle groaning along to bagpipes. Next track Pretty In Pink is kinda classic but would be made better if sung by anybody else. There is a glint of good stuff elsewhere here but it is all hamstrung by the rough rough rough vocals. Album would ultimately be better if it was Mute Mute Mute.
Dr. Dre
4/5
Cool, civil, top-drawer stuff from Dre and Snoop. Beats are pristine throughout. Flow is mighty fine and feisty. Not every track is a knockout but it starts and ends strongly with Nuthin But A G Thang being the ultimate peak. Overall, very high 4.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
An album of two halves. The first half is an outright slog and the second half manages to be even worse. For the most part it goes for a slim, sprightly modern hip hop feel crossed over with oodles of retro funk and jazz. Makes Me Wanna Pray is a bit of a lazy Lady Marmalade clone but Back In The Day is a feisty improvement, Ain’t No Other Woman another relatively strong production and On Our Way is pretty sleek with some cool crackly vintage piano samples that shine like a crystal waterfall. Unfortunately the album’s style and even Christina’s sultry pipes gets old and samey really fast and there are no songs that really compare with any of Christina’s earlier hits. Wading through this album is a bit like wading through an olympic swimming pool sized block of concrete. Sexy lipsticked Marilyn Monroe looking concrete but concrete nonetheless. The fan dedication that ends the first disc should really instead be updated with audio testimony from all those that have suffered whilst trying to finish this album. The second disc is even more out of sorts what with generic gloop string ballads and the actively annoying gimmicky 40s throwback Candyman. Overall there is a small element of good yet not exactly essential stuff here but the unnecessary double album formatting makes it way more murderous than it should be. And it’s not even in the 1001 book anymore.
Beastie Boys
4/5
My name is r x_X and all I have to say is that the first 8 tracks are banging and the rest is OK. If I had another comment to give it more scope is that the beats are pretty dated but the rhymes are really dope. KICK IT!
The Icarus Line
2/5
Quite the hot and noisy 00s indie landfill entry. Whether it’s yelpy Pitchfork party jams or extended hardcore suites it just does it super run of the mill and average like. Not one riff or melody that sticks. It might have a place on NME’s top 1001 albums coming out in May 2004 but definitely not here.
Coldplay
5/5
Absolute Goldplay. A truly magnificent debut and the most enduring and evergreen of classics even if evergreen isn’t the most apt word what the breakthrough single being ‘Yellow’. 21st century music really did peak very early on with this and their even more all-conquering follow-up Rush Of Blood To The Head. 5+ Stars.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
Very nice Brucie Bonus of an album for 1001. One of his best alongside Born To Run and Born To U.S.A. Badlands is great bunch of lads and Prove It All Night is Prove It Just Right. Darkness On The Edge Of 4.5.
The Fall
2/5
Would prefer it if it was Live At The Apollo or Live At Wembley Stadium with Freddie Mercury on vocals or anyone else other than this Mark E Smith twump. Only one who could be worse would be the Psychedelic Furs dude. Their very first album is basically a completely yobbish and dinful Joy Division. Horrid vocals. Horrid drum sound. Occasionally cool guitar. Mainly bleary, rah-rah bad open mic pub band songs. Some slightly more okay songs too - namely Two Steps Back and… I guess just Two Steps Back. Shame they couldn’t wind up after two albums like Joy Division.
Snoop Dogg
5/5
“Hats off, gentle n*ggaz and b*tches — a rap genius! Fo shizzle.”
Robert Schumann — critic for The Rap Times circa 1993.
The Chemical Brothers
5/5
Stadium worthy electronica that rocks hard in a severely funky place. Block Rockin Beats is a sheerest of slam dunk openers and Setting Sun which features Noel Gallagher is like an Oasis cover of Tomorrow Knows done right. Both superbly siren tastic and both British number ones. Electrobank and Stephen Hawking guesting It Doesn’t Matter futhermore are two delirious and extremely gallant extended dance workouts, It Doesn’t Matter itself only the start of a miniature grinding sandpaper dance suite. On top of that it saves its two greatest tracks till the very end. Where Do I Begin with Beth Orton is just beautiful and with such an immense build-up and breakdown and The Private Psychedelic Reel is as epic as the most epic thing. Overall this is big beat that just can’t be beat. Easy 5.
Norah Jones
3/5
The ultimate coffee shop album. Very smooth, classy and unobtrusive and whilst it’s on is eminently warm and delicious. I’ve put this on at work maybe a hundred times but even now I can only recall Don’t Know Why and the title track as actual distinct songs so clearly not the most memorable opus ever written. 3.5 stars.
Billy Bragg
3/5
Would be better if it was Talking With Jeremy Paxman About Toe Trees or summat. Opener Greetings To The New Brunette is actually a bit of a surprise gem, mainly because it has Kirsty MacColl and Johnny Marr on it and therefore the materials to be halfway lush. Unfortunately the rest of the album does not have these materials and tends be to more on the tedious and craggy all-Billy Bragg side. Needs someone like Billy Joel or Billy Paul to bring justice to these songs.
Neil Young
4/5
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good album. Very prime Neil and his main essential one along with Déjà Vu with Crosby, Stills & Nash.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
1/5
Crap and lame. Would rather put on Back To Bedlam by James Blunt. This is like the cheesiest ever tour of world music with a litany of terrible dated keyboard sounds and even more rancid sneery terrible talk-singy vocals. Around the same time as Screamadelica, this makes Bobby Gillespie or even Shaun Ryder and Bez seem like Jeff Buckley. In terms of music there’s a whole lotta crusty dub techno, ersatz Guns Of Brixton, cliche desert film score and Yvan Eht Nioj style Indian music. And for added punishment Sinead O Connor sings on a couple of tracks too. So there it is, Jah Wobble’s Invaders Of The 1001 List. Never rising above 1 star.
The Style Council
5/5
Gets a nice stylish 5 star bump because Style Council even though roughsville hip hop experiment A Gospel with guest star Dizzi Hites should really preclude it from that rating. First side is extremely nice and hush with smooth gems such as Whole Point Of No Return, soaring solo piano version of My Ever Changing Moods and the super sultry Paris Match with guest fellow sophistipop duo Everything But The Girl. Second half is choppier because of the dodge hip hop excursions but still has classics such as You’re The Best Thing. As great and as 5 star worthy as Style Council are this is possibly not their most fully formed work and Our Favourite Shop and Confessions Of A Pop Group would have been stronger 1001 entries.
Michael Jackson
3/5
Not Bad. Just cheesy. The album cover designer should have not scrawled the word ‘Bad’ with red spray paint but the word ‘Cheesy’ instead. Or better yet write it out with a tube of squirty cheese. The album itself is filled with good songs but it’s backed mainly by digital keyboards and dance beats with a fiercely squelchy cheese undercurrent that has all aged much worse than anything off of Thriller or Off The Wall. On top of that you have a few outright clunkers like Speed Demon and Just Good Friends with Stevie Wonder which is a true diabolical cheesy abyss. Back half of the album is fairly fine though with standouts such as Man In The Mirror and Smooth Criminal even though that was done better by Alien Ant Farm. (Philadelphia) Light 3.5 stars.
The Who
5/5
The most lively, classic and rockingest of all live classic rock albums. Whether it’s the punchy single LP version or the Deluxe Edition with most of Tommy on it, it’s all very very fine. Not much to make this a better live gig unless they did a costume change and pretended to be a different band called What’s On and then later on a third band called I Don’t Know.
Radiohead
5/5
Yet more prime experimental Radiohead. As long as you’re not Pablo Honey or King Of Limbs you can belong in this list. This one easily smashes In Rainbows and might even be a teeny bit above Kid A even though this is supposed to be the scrappy B side leftovers from the same sessions. The tracks aren’t as showy but in some ways are even more deliciously sinister and it’s sequenced far more succulently than on Kid A. Pyramid Song is the most striking gem here with its stark piano and strings and ridiculous scorching beauty. Knives Out is so nice and lilting and the best chart hit about cannibalism. Like Spinning Plates with its backmasked whirring, jarring and throbbing is one of the most evil sounds ever. And sticky swamp jazz closer Life In A Glass House is graced with the presence of Sorry I Haven’t A Clue presenter Humphrey Lyttleton which makes it far superior to something like Motion Picture Soundtrack which frankly just doesn’t have a clue. If this album is Kid B then the B surely stands for Better.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
Decentish desert blues. Very samey throughout and a bit Ali Farka Snoré on its own but a good coffee shop 1001 album to have on in the background. 3 cappuccinos out of 5.
Muddy Waters
3/5
Not rock hard but maybe a medium 3.5 and a semi-classic late career Chicago Blues effort. Mannish Boy makes for a fine, firm start and there are fits and bursts of engorged blues greatness and vigour later on amongst the floppiness.
Deee-Lite
3/5
Big sucker for this style of dandy, peaced-out early 90s house music and Groove Is In The Heart is of course Deee-Lovely but in terms of other quality tracks to match that it’s a bit Deee-Lacking. Good Beat, World Clique and Deep Ending are Deee-Decent whereas bonus cut Build The Bridge is Deee-Dogshit. Probably still the best album on this list that Q-Tip appears on.
Sonic Youth
1/5
Absolute bullcrap. Another unnecessary plop of Sonic Youth for the 1001 List. This is in the same ballpark of tetchy, tedious, tuneless, drawling hipster twonging as Daydream Nation but without quite the same ambition, scope or tiniest plausible claim to being as iconic or essential. Swing out this Sister from a tall window towards the nearest hyperactive volcano field.
Wu-Tang Clan
5/5
Lo-fi shaolin beats to curb stomp mofos and deal drugs to. A true classic for the hip hop genre and such a dangerous, dandy collective at their prime. If Winnie The Pooh was the gang leader and renamed it the Pooh-Tang Clan then that would be the only way to feasibly make this album better.
Marvin Gaye
5/5
Absolutely splendid. Soul music rarely gets as sumptuously smooth, silky and stupendously sexified as this. Best songs Let’s Get It On and reprise Keep Gettin’ It On.
Mott The Hoople
3/5
Not so much David Bowie. More David Bloggs. This is about as average as the glam music scene gets. The melodies on this are a real middling bunch - the chorus of Violence happening and then violins sauntering merrily along in the background is probably the only noteworthy thing. So basically the best moment on the record is a bad dad pun. Not just a Mott but also a true mediocre ‘Blott’ on the 1001 list.
Ryan Adams
3/5
Got a bit broken hearted this wasn’t Bryan Adams and the one with the Mel C duet. The actual album itself is fine if a bit snoozy and dull because it’s alt-country. Also a bit smarmy and full of itself because it’s Ryan Adams. The slightly rawer Come Pick Me Up the only one I can pick out as a highlight. Low 3 stars.
Yes
5/5
As Steven Toast from Toast Of London might say during a voiceover session, YES…YES… YES… YES… YES!!!! Instead of an irritated “yes” it’s much more of a pleased “yes” because is Yes at their classic-est and best. Yours Is No Disgrace is a most ridiculously soaring and sensational opener and probably their best track. Starship Trooper is another corker but really it’s the weird grinding outro Wurm that steadily transforms it into something extra special. Band are pretty much on fire throughout although it’s Tony Kay on keys and not the wizardly Rick Wakeman. His Hammond organ is way more primordial, clobbering, limited and basic but is so mighty and suits these songs perfectly. A dose of the Clap and a slight drop off near the end keeps this album from being a totally perfect 5.
Orbital
2/5
Can’t say I clicked with this album too well. In fact an hour long appointment with the dentist to replace a filling with a crown probably made for a better listening experience. At least that was only an hour. This starts off sounding like interminable menu music for some crappy futuristic video games but then I Wish I Had Duck Feet happens and the supremely irritating extended babbling vocal samples start piling up. Dance diva Alison Goldfrapp makes an appearance on two of the songs but really the song material is too dank and repetitive for her lustrous silken pipes to save them.
Philosophy By Numbers is a particularly toxic low point and seems like the duo challenged themselves to find the world’s worst chord sequence then try to make a jam out of it. It’s not really a jam but more like lumbering radioactive green mould.
This album has the 1994 anti-raver Criminal Justice Bill hanging over it like a sullen grey cloud so it’s definitely more agitative and political and with fewer trancy euphoric moments than their last effort Orbital 2 (The Brown Album). Really though, the 1994 Bill should have been to bring Orbital to justice for the crime of this mightily disappointing follow-up. 2 stars because there are occasionally some ok clubby beats but also a lot of clanging claptrap polluting it as well.
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
5/5
A true titan of 50s jazz up alongside Kind Of Blue by Miles Davis. A cool as a coolcumber second half and basically unbeatable first half. Blue Rondo Alla Turka is the link between classical, jazz, 2+2+2+3 Middle Eastern folk and 70s prog. Is there anything more misty and gorgeous than the extended piano intro to Strange Meadow Lark? Take Five is the name of the third track and also my answer to when the album asks how many stars it would like.
Fats Domino
2/5
Fats by stage name. Skimps by nature. Outside of Blueberry Hill and Blue Monday i.e songs with ‘blue’ in the title, this album is more like a size zero when it comes to real essential highlights. Such boring, hokey and madly dated bread and butter 50s rock and roll but no butter because that’s too calorific and just a crumb of bread please. Original cover has got good Jack Torrance at a typewriter energy though.
Wild Beasts
1/5
Two Dancers One Cup. Starts off as pretty weak dishwater Pitchfork indie then the vocals start and it becomes an almightily explosive wussy pretentious shizzfest. The high pitched dude kinda has the glassy choirboy tones of Keane but is doing hideous, gnarled Sparks tributes with them. The low vocalist sounds like the guy from Editors or Interpol but even more bored and vampire-like. The lyrics have a strong Martin Prince vibe about them too with verses like
“By smirking prank of fate
We find ourselves dancing late
Like young reprobates
By the milky light of the mighty moon
Find someone to nuzzle to
And waltz from the room
Soon I’ll be Queen of Summertime
…Uh I mean King!”
Busy busy yet ultimately bland songs. Awkward, irritating, over-theatric vocals. Ultra flowery and lamer than lame lyrics. Albums released in the past 20 years are rarely a good idea but this is a particularly foul and unwarranted inclusion for 1001.
Holger Czukay
2/5
This album ain't really Movies as such... more like a taped episode of Eurotrash if the TV reception was really bad. Opener Cool In The Pool has extremely cheesy, dated, weird, kinky energy and is the seeming soundtrack to a teutonic nude pool party where everyone was fat, gross and in their 50s. The two extended pieces are scrappy sound collages that are limp for the most part but actually quite punishing whenever Holger dude wants to sing. Some of the guitar work isn't too bad, like a Lidl brand Mike Oldfield. Persian Love is pretty nice and lilting and the one main uninterrupted stretch of non-badness here.
The Verve
5/5
Richard Ashcroft pulled off a blinder here. Wrote so many good songs in one go that he ended up having none left for the entirety of his solo career. Urban Hymns is at once a towering masterwork of Britpop and post-Britpop. The link between Oasis in their pomp and early Coldplay. It has just enough in the way for druggy, tenacious rockers like The Rolling People and Come On, dreamy shoegaze numbers like Catching The Butterfly and then an overload of searing, heartfelt balladry plus some of the most iconic string-addled pop songs of the decade such as Bittersweet Symphony and Lucky Man. What with the likes of The Drugs Don't Work, Space And Time and Velvet Morning padding its ranks, there's just too many lovely songs. Easy 5 and best album from 1997.
Dusty Springfield
3/5
Her voice is very lovely and the songs have a generally good rate of lushness. Opener Just A Little Lovin' is particularly divine but after that there wasn't quite as many powerful highlights as I was expecting. Mainly the just two famous songs Son Of A Preacher Man and the chill Bossa-fied not quite as overplayed version of Windmills Of Your Mind. Looked like Dusty was doing a bit too much Sleepwalking in Memphis because this album ended up being a little bit lacklustre in terms of wall to wall classics. 3.5 stars.
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
5/5
Kinda crap (or should that be ‘carp’). Also complete madcap genius. A mad mixture of Howlin Wolf, acid jazz, Dadaist poetry and mid-20th century YouTube poop. A lot of ugly, squawking, ear-grinding songs but also cool slamming tracks like Frownland, Moonlight In Vermont and Ella Guru and fast lots of bulbously quotable lyrics. I like American Graffiti anyway but it would be even better if the radio DJ was Beefheart instead of Wolfman Jack.
Little Simz
1/5
Not much of a GREY area here. The album is a crap one thanks to the ribbity ribbit kiddiwink rap vocals. Little Simz seems to be the kid bride of Dizzee Rascal except if he was the princess and she was the frog. Not what I would say is belonging to an 'essential albums list' or even a 'best of modern day hip hop collection', her voice is better suited to a Cheestrings Attack-A-Snak advert.
The Band
4/5
Some tracks tickle me pink - The Weight and This Wheel’s On Fire are absolutely top class, the former up there as one of the best singles of the decade. Some tracks tickle me ragefully teary - like Tears Of Rage. A couple of tracks are kind of snoozers though and just tickle me asleep - like Long Black Veil. Chest Fever has such almightily boss, almost heavy metal organ riffing even though the middle 8 kinda gets cobwebby and awry before getting back on track. The album sleeve by Bob Dylan is extremely cool by the way thanks to the elephant and is probably his best ever contribution to any kind of art form. Solid 4.5
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
2/5
Bonnie “Doxepin” Billy - I See A Humdrumness.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
3/5
My sun is stuck. I cannot go back to your Darklands.
Kraftwerk
4/5
One day on the Island of Sodor, Thomas the Little Blue Engine was given an album to listen to for his 1001 Albums project. It was Trans Europa Express by a mysterious group called Kraftwerk. The Fat Controller was working on the same 1001 Album project and said to young Thomas “You better hurry up and listen to this as soon as you can. I know you are a cheeky young steam engine but this is an incredible train-themed album that will educate you about 70s electronica and do you a lot of good”. So Thomas listened to the album on his little blue train headphones and was mesmerised by the sounds.
“Bleepity bloop”, said the album. “Bleepity bloop”. “Clackety clack. Clackety clack” it said later on.
“It’s so beautiful” said Thomas. “This is like being in train heaven”. Some German voices appeared and Thomas said to himself “Hmm Das Ist Gut, Ja!” Then the next track happened and lots of spacey sounds occurred. Thomas got overexcited and started losing himself in the music and let out a great big whistle. “Look at me! Look at me! I’m a space engine flying through space, yippee!” he said and then he carelessly went off-track and flew off a 200ft cliff where he crashed onto some sharp rocks and exploded into a massive tower of flames. Engulfed with him in the flames was his driver, his fireman, his coaches Annie and Clarabel and a hundred screaming passengers. Oh, what a silly engine!
Devastated by the loss of Thomas and a very large count of manslaughter under his watch, the Fat Controller was forced to close down the Isle Of Sodor Railway and fell into a spiral of drink and drugs and even more hamburgers after his lengthy prison sentence. If Thomas had survived the massive cliff top fall he would have revelled in the seedy German nightclubbing sounds of the title track, done a little bit of breakdancing and I think he would have given the album 4 stars, don’t you?
Steely Dan
5/5
Not their best album although it has so many of their best and most iconic songs in one disgusting yellowy place - Reelin In The Years with its free-“reelin” solos. Delish downbeat loser anthem Do It Again with its electric sitar found in a junk shop. Pearly humdinger of a country toe tapper Brooklyn (Owes The Charmer Under Me). Yet more greatness with Dirty Work, Midnight Cruiser, Fire In The Hole and Only Fool Would Say That. You have a couple of odd choices for lead singer and the last two tracks are easily the weakest but other than this is extremely 5 star worthy.
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
Shouldn’t be in a metal box but rather a litter tray and an Olympic pool-sized one at that.
Sepultura
1/5
An album that is very brutal. Brutally shit that is. Whether it’s music or politics, tribalism is something that is very damaging although it’s nu-metal that brings more misery to society and needs to be stamped out at its roots entirely.
Pixies
3/5
Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty good Pixies album. You don’t have the all-timer, iconic, essential Pixies songs like Where Is My Mind?, Monkey Gone To Heaven or Gigantic but a couple o nice ones maybe with Velouria and Dig For Fire. Opener Cecelia Ann is pretty boss actually and a cover of a fake Surf instrumental cowritten by Steve Hoffman of Steve Hoffman Forums fame. Rock Music a bit of a severe stinky ear-stabby shrieker in the second hole and the tracks towards the end are very forgettable. It’s not the best inclusion for the 1001 list but at least it isn’t Teenager Of The Year.
Buzzcocks
3/5
Goodish early British punk album. Very sloppy and despite the lack of actual great songs also quite poppy. Better than The Adverts but not as good as The Sex Pistols. This one doesn’t have their main big song Ever Fallen In Love which is a bummer and it means that the Shrek 2 soundtrack is probably more essential even if the one on that is a cover version. The Buzzcocks did put out an earlier release called Spiral Scratch which I would also consider more important essential listening mainly because it’s about 25 minutes shorter.
The Go-Betweens
2/5
I’ve given this one a few go-overs before. I thought it might click with me this time because the 2nd track felt a tiny bit lovelier than normal but then the plodding greyness started blooming again with a vengeance and I went back into unclicked mode. It’s all a bit Deacon Blue if they were vigorously more boring. The band would make up for it though if they were to ever do a sequel album called 123 Fake Street.
Sheryl Crow
3/5
I would prefer to put this on over the Black Crowes but only marginally. All I Wanna Do is a good track that I wouldn’t mind if it was on Co Op radio but everything else is a bit dated and cheesy. I would definitely request something else to be played at an actual Tuesday Night Music Club if I was going. Something like Ace Of Base or Barenaked Ladies.
Bob Dylan
3/5
A mixture of Blood, Mud and Crud on these Tracks. Some mighty highlights with Tangled Up In Blue, E-I-E-I-Odiot Wind (or is it Aaliyah-diot Wind? Duff man “OOH YEAH”-diot Wind?) and Shelter From The Storm. Some more nice stuff with You’re A Big Girl Now and Buckets Of Rain. Some real boring stuff with Meet Me In The Morning and Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts which goes on for a thousand extra verses even more than most of the other songs do. 3.5 stars overall.
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
3/5
Pretty sensational voice. I can see why Jeff Buckley was such a worshipper of his. Carlsberg don’t do curry houses but if they did they’d probably have had this guy and his group play to guests every evening and sending their ears and their tastebuds into rapture. Not just songs of love and devotion but also ideal songs for lamb madras and chicken jalfrezi.
Neil Young
4/5
This year is the year… I finally accept that Neil Young is great. Very ramshackle but also hyper intimate and mint 1am bar sound. Add this and After The Gold Rush to the good solo Neil Young albums in this 1001 list.
The Temptations
2/5
Far from Cloud Nine, this is the kind of ho-hum Motown (Ho-hum town?) that leaves me fully planted on lousy terra firma. And so greedy of Temptations that they have multiple albums on this list that are super average. Album sleeve is pretty gross too and looks like a big 60s mamma gushed a huge whoopsie period onto it. Or maybe it’s spillage from the murder scene of Heard It Through The Grapevine.
Earth, Wind & Fire
5/5
EWF are definitely the supremest of funky funk soul bands and this one really kickstarts their classic era which lasts all the way up to 1981’s Let’s Groove. The band is just sensational from this point on - from the on point horns and many zesty layers of percussion, Larry Dunn on keys, Verdine White thunkin and a plunkin on bass or Maurice White getting down on kalimba. Phillip Bailey is the funkiest funk soul eunuch brother and you definitely get to feel his talents soar to giddy heights on the beautiful wailing second-half highlight Reasons. You have the two very special, star making hits right at the beginning and with other strong-uns like Yearnin Learnin and Happy Feeling it’s mainly top notch… right until the last two tracks which take their funky foot off the gas and have more a pondering jazz fusion thing going on. There are also some very freaky squiggly synth interludes which almost could have come from Boards Of Canada if they had afros. As great as this is overall I do consider the holy trinity of EWF to be The Best Of Earth, Wind & Fire Vol 1, I Am and Faces. 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.
The Smiths
4/5
A pretty strong Smiths album, studio-wise prolly their second best and with really iconic artwork even though on the subject of helmet Morrissey is the biggest one by far. There are some magnificently maudlin highs to be found on The Headmaster Ritual, That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore and the totes funkerific Barbarism Begins At Home and it gets even more sublime if you include How Soon Is Now? It’s really thanks to the mad skillz of Marr and Rourke that these tracks are as intensely brilliant as they are. There is also one almightily shitastic low with the closing handwringing or should that be hoof-wringing title track and that is all thanks to Morrissey. About tuck into a succulent flat iron steak at a nice steakhouse as I’m writing this and will be festively slicing into some turkey once I get home even though it’s not quite the season yet and I’ll be be making an online order for as many lamb cutlets and chicken wings as I can. Might go out shooting for some deer and stamp on some snails as well.
Robert Wyatt
1/5
Nick Mason of Pink Floyd produces which is cool. Mike Oldfield also plays guitar near the end which is also cool. With this being his record Robert Wyatt sings as well which is just about tolerable until he does his old drunk hobo fisherman scat singing in abundance. And then after a couple of tracks it starts to swamp up with leagues of avant garde orchestration and freeform jazz sax. Earache Records was a label that supposedly debuted in 1987 but they actually pulled off a surprise earlier secret launch album with this one. The classic mid-80s line up of Scritti Politti - Green Gartside, David Gamson and Fred Maher - all bonded and unified because of their fondness for Robert Wyatt so that’s probably the main thing that keeps this record from being Rock Bottom on my list.
The Clash
4/5
An undoubted classic. Probably the best punk album of all time and so ambitious, iconic, timeless and diverse with heavy hitters such as the title track, Death Or Glory, Spanish Bombs, Guns Of Brixton, Clampdown and Train In Vain. More goodies with Lost In The Supermarket, Koka Kola, The Card Cheat and Hateful. Some proper full-on weak links though with The Right Profile, Wrong Em Boyo and… Jimmy Jazz. If my name was Johnny I’d probably start a sophistipop group right now called Johnny Hates Jimmy Jazz. 4.5 stars rounded down to 4.
Fairport Convention
4/5
I was half bricking it because I was not fancying a bunch of gnarly, knobbly ye olde English folk covers of Dylan or the prospect of Richard Thompson singing but despite a few rough patches like Cajun Woman and Million Dollar Bash this one has some choice moody epic prog folk like Autopsy and A Sailor’s Life and as soon as Sandy Denny’s oh so lovely Who Knows Where The Time Goes eased in I was back to a state of unhalfbricking it… I guess that’s a word after all which means Sandy lost that game of Ghost and has to buy the next round of drinks for everyone. I see she’s making hers a double.
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
A mostly very good album. The title song is a complete classic, main perennial radio hit and overpoweringly best song here. Also some mighty purdy moments with Meet Me Across The River and She’s The One. Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out is a nice steady toe tappity number as well with perky cool Brecker Bros horns. Everything else here is good up to a point but was born to walk so Bat Out Of Hell by Meat Loaf could run. Somewhere between a high 4 stars and low 4.5.
Malcolm McLaren
1/5
More like Suck Rock. Duck Rot. Or Cock Plop. Probably better than Kid Rock though. It’s a vibrant mixing of hip-hop, country, punk, new-wave, synth pop, Latin and South African styles in the same way a pile of vomit might be after 15 different cuisines from around the world. Malcolm McClaren is an absolutely putrid singer. Buffalo Gals somehow got referenced on Eminem’s Without Me but Duck For The Oyster is more in keeping with Cotton Eye Joe by the Rednex. The radio chatter in-between songs also helps this album sound even more of mess than the hot vomity mess than it already is.
The xx
2/5
Bang average as opposed to being outright terrible like the other xx album on this list. Forges a distinctly icy, minimal sound and direction for itself by copping a tremendous dull ripoff feel of Young Marble Giants and combining it with the dullest, most fakest plastic facets of modern indie. Shame they couldn’t copy another trend of Young Marble Giants by limiting themselves to only one album.
Arrested Development
2/5
“The story of a wealthy hip-hop family who lost everything and the one rapper son who had no choice but to keep them all together… it’s Arrested Development.”
Pretty cheesy, dated and elevatorish socially conscious hip hop. Best moment are probably Mr Wendal and Tennessee but it all feels like a massively watered down 3 Feet High And Rising. Still better than the last actual two seasons of Arrested Development though.
Funkadelic
4/5
Title track is a true, startling, one-of-a-kind, oh-so anguished outpouring of searing guitar soul. Very wicked. Very scouring. Very influential. Very essential. The other tracks are pretty funky, stanky, sometimes rocksy but not nearly as essential even with the best of them. Ideal listening format of Maggot Brain really is repeating the title track 4 times over.
Kacey Musgraves
2/5
Kacey Meh-graves. There’s some nice elements of indie, soft rock, disco and electronica but it is all delectably swished into a basically yucky corny girly country pop album. Not even a golden minute on this. Worst Cowboy Bebop episode ever because tracks like Space Cowboy I will not wanting to be ‘seeing again’.
Soft Machine
1/5
If Canterbury had its own Cantanamo Bay then this album would be the most effective one for torturing prisoners. What the frick is the first 5 minutes of Facelift?! Please stop… I’ll tell you everything! [sobs uncontrollably] It does clear up in the same way that a 400 car pile up into a noisy construction site eventually gets cleared up but Robert Wyatt sings on some later sides so really the torture never stops.
Elbow
3/5
Kinda good n high quality in places but also something so annoyingly boring about the group that it is hard to fully elevate this to a 4 even if it is one of their best albums. Coldplay if they sang about Beige instead of the colour Yellow. Radiohead if they sang the Stamp Collecting Song instead of one about Pyramids. Elbow is such a crap name as well. Might as well be called Ankle. Or Toenail. This is sort of their equivalent album to Viva La Vida with super rich and resplendent orchestrations and also home to their highest charting hit - the Hey Jude outro-copping and John Lewis fav One Day Like This. Grounds For Divorce is also a heavy rockin standout and very baditude for them. An Audience With The Pope has a real cool exotic instrumental I’m sure has been used to many an episode of Come Dine With Me or some other food programme. Besides that and the intro song which has those severe ear-stabbing string swells, the others don’t make quite as much of a mark. 3.5.
Neu!
3/5
Another Earth, Wind & Fire album on this list, at least in terms of sampled sound effects. Also a bit of rain and water sounds which would spook out Maurice White, sadly. This has the hypnotic, blissed, cruising Krautrock sound which I fully expect and love from Neu! but second half is scrappier and overall it has too much of that scrappier, crappier punk feel which I do not like. Vocal Neu! Is a complete no no. 3.5.
Caetano Veloso
2/5
Yeahhh… Caetano Ve-no-go.
CHVRCHES
2/5
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument.
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands.
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you.
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do.
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem.
I believe that this is a completely bog standard synthplop album that should not be on the list, cute Buffy Clyro The Vampire Slayer vocals notwithstanding.
Pixies
4/5
Easily the best Pixies albums. Killer Albini production/engineering. Some of their most beloved songs. Pretty zippy at 33 minutes unlike most other Pixies albums which are often drag at 39 minutes. Also nice rack. Probably the nice rack factor that lifts it up to 4.
The Charlatans
3/5
The only one I knew off this was One To Another which is pretty anthemic and baggy and a lot like the song Charlatans frontman Tim Burgess did with Chemical Brothers on their 1995 album Exit Planet Dust. The other songs on here are a bit bland and disappointing and ridiculously craven to Oasis with lots of cringey, screeching, whining Liam Gallagherisms. If The Charlatans were tellin’ stories round my street and it wasn’t One To Another or Life Is Sweet I’d tell them to shut up.
Bonnie Raitt
2/5
Waste Of Time. You’d have to be Bonnie Raitt-arsed to start considering this hokey, ho hum, heavily dated 80s Americana offering as essential listening.
Scritti Politti
5/5
Am I so out of touch? No, it is the people on this website who are wrong. Really gets my goat when reviewers call this a discount store Wham! when Wham! themselves who have put out songs like Wham Rap! and Battleships sound like a discount store Wham! most of the time. This sounds like Wham! if they were worth a trillion bucks.
This album has its detractors on account of most of the people listening to it being misguided and thinking it is shit but it does have a fair few fervent superfans as well. Such as myself. Also Elton John who once called it the greatest electronic album of the 80s. That he would have been recording the cocaine blanched and near-career worst Leather Jackets around the time that this record came out is neither here nor there. He has always been more of a junkie for record-collecting and on his various visits to record shops he would actually have a habit of clearing out the stores of copies of Cupid & Pscyhe 85 and then gifting them to friends NOT enemies. Steven Wilson aka Mr Porcupine Tree and remixer of countless 40th anniversary prog reissues is also a noted admirer and he knows maybe one or two things about good production which means he’s onto something. Hot Chip and Manic Street Preachers are also fans although for someone actually more modern and less past it Charli XCX producer A.G. Cook did recently nominate this as his Pitchfork Perfect 10.
So what makes this album great?
1. Serious heavy bangers - The first point in emphasising this record’s greatness is how banging some of the serious heavy dancefloor bangers are on this thing. The first two singles Wood Beez and Absolute were actually released in the first half of 1984, were seriously banging, had lengthy chart runs and were produced by none other than legendary super producer Arif Mardin. The fact that he worked on Aretha Franklin’s Say A Little Prayer and then completed the circle by working on a song subtitled Pray Like Aretha Franklin is pretty cool. Arif Mardin went on to score Number One later in 1984 with Chaka Khan and her Prince cover I Feel For You which is basically cut from the same feverish banging phosphorescent future-funk cloth as Absolute and Wood Beez. Because of these songs, the rising sophistipop trend and Prince reigning supreme with Purple Rain and the rerelease of 1999 there is an easy case to be made for this being the greatest era in all of music. Scritti keyboard and co-writer and arranger David Gamson soon assimilated the mad skills of Arif Mardin and went on to produce his own serious heavy banger and smash US breakthrough Perfect Way which was so serious, heavy and banging it was as if to end all serious heavy bangers.
2. Meticulously crafted - The more times I listen to this record, the more it seems like gold-plated proof that David Gamson is an absolute genius. There is so much garish and glorious sonic detail within the pinging pinball synth work. Drummer Fred Maher does a grand job as well with beats so gated and gargantuan they would make Phil Collins proud. And singer Green Gartside really nails it as well with the vocal melodies - so glossy and sweet and with some beautiful turns and inflections such as on the shivery vocal outro to The Word Girl. To sum it up the album is total perfection. It’s also total confection and with its intricacy is like a Swiss Watch cathedral constructed purely out of candy floss. The production time for Cupid & Psyche was quite painstaking and David Gamson called it ‘the most digital sounding analogue record of all time’. MIDI tracking was only just becoming a thing halfway during the making of the record which meant many of the keyboards were actually recorded to tape at half speed then sped up so they had a brighter, pingier, glassier sound but also so they much sharper timing which further lends the album its hyperreal feel. As well as a loaded personnel of players on this thing, the list of hardware used is pretty long and essentially a synth nerd‘s dream.
3. Dapper frontman - Even though you could say lots of things about Green Gartside’s lead vocals (please don’t just in case they might be nasty) the one thing can’t be denied is that he has an absolutely swish fashion sense at this point with awesome floppy hair, great pin up looks for a 30 year old and isn’t dressed like a frickin Dexy’s Midnight Runner. Also his fey cartoon-like head voice is really great actually and suits the songs.
4. Dapper lyrics - The lyrics to this album are very dapper as well. Green Gartside is as much a lyrical genius as Dave Gamson is a synth genius. Green is some kind of crazy-skilled philosophy giant and all the lyrics on the album are lofty, academic and clever clever which is the best kind of clever. Green is also something of a fragile lyric genius - he suffered from a massive stage fright in 1980 which stopped him performing live for 25 years. He felt insecure during the making of this album because of the sheer amount of talented producers and session players surrounding him and he suffered a lot from imposter syndrome and by the end of the 80s he was running on fumes because of all the forced worldwide promotion for this record and its follow up Provision that he had a big mental breakdown and withdrew from the recording industry for a decade. One overriding lyrical trait for the album is how words and phrases are spun together so sweet and tastily like cotton candy and with a proper romantic veneer and yet contradict themselves so well and so carefully as to not have any practical real world meaning or connection, just theoretically impossible ones. It’s almost as if the words were designed to be as pleasurable sounding and wooing as possible whilst avoiding any kind of committment to another person whatsoever. The only commitment it attains to is achieving glossy glosstastic perfection in the art of synthpop. Opener The Word Girl deconstructs the very use of the word ‘girl’ in pop songs to highlight how artificial and shallow it is despite the remaining 8 songs on the album tending to blast it with abundance. Small Talk alludes to the wartime propaganda phrase of Careless Talk Costs Lives but inverts as if to celebrate that kind of small talk and to nullify serious real talk - key lyric “in seventh heaven if a thing’s worth doing then it’s worth doing badly baby”. Absolute repurposes Immanuel Kant’s concepts of absolutism for the sake of serious banging dancefloor pop. A Little Knowledge is the one woozy token slowie ballad but talks of how when to love someone it’s better to not know them at all and is the main song to allude to the Cupid & Psyche legend that album title namechecks. On Perfect Way it’s clear that he’s happily got a Perfect Way to make girls to crazy but there’s no hint that he wants to do anything with it. On Wood Beez he desperately says that he is prepared to do anything to get together with the girl of his dreams even if that anything includes doing absolutely nothing. Album deep cut Lover To Fall is perhaps the most glossy and rinky dink musically at least for the verses before the shimmering synths for the chorus swoop in but lyrically it is the most unhinged with the singer’s sensing of reality slipping all over the place with lines like “love and be glad to get it over oh it’s over baby for you” and then in the middle of the song he just has a random go at rich people “I’m telling you baby because baby who cares, there’s gonna be a day when the rich get their’s”. It is like he himself knows he is a trap and is cosplaying as Patrick Bateman a few years before the character was even written. Best line that really summarises the record is Hypnotize’s “how could your nothings be so sweet?”. All in all there’s not really a misjudged word or vocalising across the album and they tie in and juxtapose so well with the purposefully enhanced artificialness of the backing music.
5. The apotheosis of all synthpop - This record is well and truly the apotheosis of all synthpop. It is actually such brilliant heightened example of 80s synthpop that it does almost come across as parody. None more 80s. Gated drums turned up to 11. So happy to date itself that it even has 85 stamped on its title. It is so great that there was not much elsewhere for Scritti Politti go after this and it was hard for imitators to copy the sound as well. As mentioned before it has the kind of gargantuan gated drums that make Phil Collins proud and Fairlight pharps that would titillate Trevor Horn but moreso than synthpop it has an incredible grounding in RnB, funk, jazz and hip hop and the unique hyper-busy funk rhythms, luxuriant synth timbres and overlays and otherworldly harmonic stylings did attract the attention and collaborations from figures such as Miles Davis and Chaka Khan. Add in reggae, avant garde and new wave and you do get yourself a true melting pot that is fit for purpose perhaps as the apotheosis of all music.
In conclusion, probably the best album of all time along with Purple Rain.
Talvin Singh
2/5
I am partial to my atmospheric drum and bass but this was a bit too higgeldy piggeldy. Opener Traveller was quite the journey and to my surprise my girlfriend actually walked in midway and started meditating to it. She eventually had to pause her meditation routine because there is a bit too much garbage that floods the album later on - bombastic Bhangra rapping and heavy heavy cheesy techno beats. So not a quality release through and through but had its moments. Very OK except for the parts that weren’t OK. Apparently a Mercury Music Prize Winner which is NOT OK.
Tom Waits
1/5
What do I need a Bone Machine for? I can see how Sex Machine is a must for the list even though I am one anyway. Love Machine by Girls Aloud is essential even though that’s a single and not an album. Then there’s Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple even though I am a little sceptical of its claim of extraordinariness. I guess I do want to make some bones with a bone machine after all because Tom Waits is a terrible artist with way too many albums on the list. More like a ‘1’ Machine.
Les Rythmes Digitales
2/5
Fugly, flimsy, faux-French House flopaganza from Les Rhythmes Digitales… or Didgey-tal Riddems Yeh Bruv! as this dance music project from DJ Alex Price should be called. A most flippant inclusion for the 1001 list. First track Dreamin is OK enough and might sound good as background for a quick fire menu on a FIFA 2000 game but that’s about as good as the music gets. What follows is very plastic, basic, ultra-repetitive, mind-numbing loops with (Hey You) What’s That Sound being the absolute pits. It’s the kind of thing that makes Fatboy Slim sound like Stravinsky - Fatboy Slim of course having quite a lot of character in his brand of repetitive beats whereas this is about as generic, Duplo-bricked and slapped together as dance music can get. If it weren’t for the one and only Nik Kershaw gracing his presence towards the end then this would be a total 1. Very lucky for Mr Digital Rhythms Yeah Bruv!
The Pogues
3/5
There are a lot of good sloppy, brawly knees-ups to be found on The Pogues’ 3rd one but if great songs were potatoes then there would be a bit of a potato famine here. The main classic song really is The Fairytale Of New York and the next best song after that is the one towards the very end which has the same melody as Fairytale Of New York.
Slade
3/5
Nice, cheesy meat n potatoes 70s glam rock. Frontman Noddy Holder is a cool dude - big voice, big barrel o fun and with crazee charisma like Tom Baker as Doctor Who. Guitarist Dave Hill kinda wipes that cool slate clean though - he looks like Simon from Inbetweeners got Life On Mars’d back into the 70s and was made to cut his hair like Rowlf from Muppets. Mama Weer All Crazy Now the only main awesome one that sticks out but overall a solid rockin listen.
Richard Thompson
3/5
Nice dark knobbly grim drunken 70s angst folk. Richard vocals aren’t good but track 1 has a gauntlet of good guitar riffs n bits. There are some cool medieval vibes with the cromulent crumhorn plus some rom pom pom brass on title track for more old timey feels but it’s mainly the Linda vocals on the songs that she’s on that really lifts them into good territory. Best songs title track and Down Where The Drunkards Roll
Beatles
4/5
Doesn’t quite rank alongside the Best Of The Beatles but still pretty great nonetheless. The A Hard Day’s Night feature flick is also a great bunch of lads and a very worthy 1001 Film as well. The first side of the album is the soundtrack to that and the songs on it are basically all superific and timeless. The non-movie songs on the second side range from good to great but are definitely not 5 star good or great with the exception of Things We Said Today which is pretty great, virtually 5 stars great. A not too grotty 4.5 stars overall except for the woodblock on And I Love Her which is a bit grotty.
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Proof that a stripped Bruce is the best Bruce. Not just born to run or born in the USA but also born to Nebrask as well. So stark. So chilling. So purdy. And now also a hit motion picture!
The Strokes
3/5
A real true early 00s rock n roll classic with a lot of swish, slickness n swagger plus some decent songs too although Julian Casablanca’s’ cheap, compressed tannoy vocal stylings are a tad annoying. Someday, Last Nite, Hard To Explain and Take It Or Leave It are great. The rest I can… take it or leave it. 3.5 stars.
George Michael
2/5
With this I feel a bit like the Inquisitor in Red Dwarf Season 5. It’s not that George Michael is a bad singer… really he’s a truly excellent singer. It’s just that he massively underperformed according to his potential - certainly solo-wise as his best songs were with Wham! and not on here. Freedom 90’ is just Sympathy For The Devil riding on cheesy 90s dance grooves and everything else is a bit frickin sloshy and limp to be honest. I listened with extreme prejudice and am happy that there is not a Volume 2. Shit Where’s Wally album artwork as well. He’s not even on it.
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
4/5
How does a donkey swim? With its Eey-oars! This guy was seriously an Eey-oar short of a donkey row boat however. It is weird how a guy keen on carrying out exorcisms via axe before being locked away in an asylum and later on becoming a hobo could make an album so ruggedly chill. His voice is grizzled and his songs scrappy and all over the place but overall it is just a genius great assortment of blues, country, psychedelia and even some lofi and slowcore elements. First half is very strong and War And Peace is particularly an epic cosmic highlight. Album does start to get extra frayed in the second half - Book Of Moses sounds like a ping pong game taking place during a wild storm. Grey/Afro is something else entirely and is just this 9 minute doomy jazz rumble excerpt. Foar stars out of 5.
White Denim
2/5
D minus. White denim, plain white tees and plain white pitchfork indie sonic palette. Definitely heard other albums from this group that are more interesting.
Living Colour
3/5
Call it Guitar Hero 3 bias but opener Cult Of Personality is the only real crazy cool essential tune here and everything that follows just doesn’t live up to it. Funky and fierce in spirit but constrained by fusty and fumbled songs and production except for one bit of magic at the start. 3 stars because of how awesome Cult Of Personality is.
David Ackles
2/5
A supposed lost classic that pretty much sounds like Neil Diamond in an ultra grim, ultra cheesy off-off-broadway show. Bernie Taupin produces so there are at least a couple of Elton-esque piano ballads but the orchestral accompaniment tends to be very stark and unsettling. Ackles’ delivery throughout is so maudlin and over theatrical that it’s basically a hoot throughout. His voice is actually not good or sweet enough to be Neil Diamond and is more like Tom Lehrer if he wasn’t trying to be funny on purpose. A lost classic but for the wrong reasons. 2.5 stars.
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
4/5
A lot of good, no bad and not any Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Roger Taylor or John Deacon in sight so this should just be called The Good, The Good & The Good. For a supergroup featuring members from Fela Kuti, The Clash, Blur and The Verve this only starts to whip up a storm during the lengthy title track finale. Makes sense because guitarist Simon Tong wasn’t actually involved with The Verve until quite a bit after their debut A Storm In Heaven. Instead this album has a super weary and resigned feel which was absolutely adroit in 2007 for what was the dredge end of the Tong Blair years. Album is very plodden at its most downcast and plodden but there are some absolute downcast humdingers like Kingdom Of Doom and Herculean plus more skittery afrobeaty downcast carnival goodness with Three Changes.
Deep Purple
5/5
Some people call Blood On The Tracks the best album of the 70s but that is absolute tosh. Chuck your vinyl copy out of the window now. If you have a cd version stamp on it into little pieces and then flush it down the toilet or drop it down the gutter or summink. THIS is real music. It’s all you really need from the 70s other than Pink Floyd, Led Zep, Derek And The Dominoes and a bit of Frank Zappa. It’s basically as classic as classic rock gets. Monster vocals. Monster riffing. Monster soloing. Monster songs with the likes of Highway Star and Space Truckin (not so much Pictures Of Home and Never Before). Jon Lord lords it and it’s as much of a keyboard hero album as a guitar hero album. Even though it’s got the most overplayed riff of all time, Smoke On The Water is still the best tune and Lazy is another massive highlight and is just beastly. Hard to imagine better Machine Head except in a porn version of Stepford Wives or Ghost In The Shell.
Gil Scott-Heron
3/5
Musically this is quite lush - smooth, sumptuous, snazzy, silky dinner table jazz. Vocally it’s a lumpier and less lush mixture though. Gill I guess is best known for spoken word but he opts to sing mostly on here and he is no George Benson - his vocal chops are pretty average and leaden. Scrub the vocals out and you have an album I could have a very nice steak and glass of red wine to. There are still a couple of potent highlights though, namely The Bottle and H2Ogate Blues which is where the album really gets sizzling and is sort of a direct to video sequel of The Revolution Will Not Be Televised: Ronnie Scott’s edition.
Public Enemy
2/5
Not as formidable a planet as it once was, a lot of its production aspects have aged really badly. There are some heavyweight blammers on here to match the ones on their previous album to this - namely the incendiary Fight The Power - but generally the samples are too much of a cheesy, frazzled, jarring, overloaded mess and the weak songs which are most of them tend to spooge into one samey discombobulated pile. Some of the time the samples play extra headachey havoc and it seems like a toddler has been let loose on a Fischer Price sampling pad and is trying to trigger any combination of the buttons at random. 2.5 yeah boiiiii’s out of 5.
Sarah Vaughan
4/5
Not an absolute top drawer live show at Mister Kelly’s but still very nice… grrrreat… wonderful. The main highlight for me was the one that goes ‘she ba doo ba de ba do ba shoo ba doobity bop:’
The Auteurs
3/5
More like the Bore-teurs. Musically speaking this is absolutely fine and pleasant. Very clean and classy. A mix of jangle, early britpop and indie plus a cello in there somewhere. I wouldn’t say any of the tracks were overly exciting or interesting but Don’t Trust The Stars and Idiot Brother felt like the hookiest, most powerhouse instrumental highlights. Luke Haines is a sucky vocalist though. Very weedy sounding and it’s like he has this Leslie speaker effect that makes him into Strongsad from Homestar Runner trying to sing feebly underwater. Even if it wasn’t spoiled slightly by the soggy vocals it would still be one of the more plainer New Wave albums we’ve had on the list.
Pantera
4/5
I’d kill you for Pantera. I’d kill Pantera for myself… RARARARAR LOVE RRAR LOVE RARR LOVE RAR RARARAAR LOVE RRAR LOVE RARR LOVE RRAR
First half is very groovy, very aggressive and laden with some classics although the ones on Cowboys From Hell are still probably better. Second half gets a bit chuggier and samier although overall this is still a vulgar display of goodness for the groove metal genre. A lightly vulgar 4 stars.
The Prodigy
4/5
Similar to Orbital’s Snivilisation, this was made in response to the anti-ravers 1994 Criminal Justice Bill but is so much cooler, punkier with way more swag, snarl and attitude that there is just no need for weedy wussy wussbag Snivilisation to be on here. Originally this was supposed to be a concept album with every song named after a different criminal offence but looks like they gave up after the opener Break & Enter because I guess Prodigy just aren’t brain boxes when it comes to proggy conceptual works. It is cool how they just gave up their trippy ragga influences on their first album and switch to something far grittier, harder-edge and authentic. There are some absolutely barnstorming rave tunes here, hitting a slight lull after album peak Voodoo People before a late album renaissance with No Good. A zero in terms of artwork but just as important and essential as Fat Of The Land.
Beatles
4/5
Key line and ultimate message of the whole album is “and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make”. It doesn’t really matter if you have appalling granny dreck such as Maxwell’s Silver Hammer because you have pearls like Come Together, Something, Here Comes The Sun and the ingenious, exquisite near side-long medley to more than make up for it. Beatles are probably the best band ever and they really do go out on a fantastic high here having never sounding better. Every non Maxwell’s Silver Hammer detail of it is so iconic n lush and certifiably classic. I should really be rounding this up to 5 even with the Maxwell’s Silver Hammer monstrosity. Unfortunately the vocal shredding, Blueberry Hill copping Oh Darling is a bit too cheesy and grating as well. 4.5 stars.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
The Bloatman’s Call because it’s quite bloated. A few too many tracks on this. Into My Arms is a strong opener and a super pretty ballad. Although it ventures on with the same solemn, sparse, soul-searching chamber ballad solemnitude, the songs after it don’t tend to have that same special factor so the album often it feels like it’s simply floating deep in the doldrums of the Snoozelantic Ocean. There Is A Kingdom starts off like Lou Reed’s Perfect Day but ends up being Dreary Day. Idiot Prayer towards the end at least is a steelier-sounding highlight although the song itself is still a bit snoozy.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Very luscious, soul-searching, mankind-saving vibes on this one and an outright classic fo sure in lots of ways. It would be a 5/5 for vibes but maybe only a 3.5/5 in terms of actual iconic, heavy hitting bangers. There are 3 different ones (oink) - one right at the start with the title track, right in the middle with Mercy, Mercy, Me and right and the end with Inner City Blues. The other tracks tend to blend together into this groovy but gloopy elevator motown gravy. First side is a suite of increasingly elevatorish versions of the same song and on side two you have Wholy Holy as the most elevatorish nadir. Despite the elevatorish drawbacks I have to say because of the high points this is still a quite splendid listen.
Billie Holiday
3/5
Bit gloopy like with the sameish syrupy orchestrations and not the best bunch of songs. I prefer Satin Doll or Nights In White Satin but this Lady In Satin is not too bad I guess.
Madonna
2/5
Trancey dancey, hippie dippie Kabbalah klaptrap. Ray Of Light the title song is ok I guess but the rest of it is more like Ray Of Rubbish!
Baaba Maal
2/5
More like Shopping Maal. This is just a big, long, intensely cheesy and dated shopping mall version of Baaba’s other album on this list. It almost sounds Lion Kingish except very muzaky and is not fit for a Lion King nor a Burger King or Dunkin Donuts for that matter. If Baaba Maal became friends with Forest Gump and started Baaba Shrimp then it not be very good shrimp at all, the business would close down fast and you’d have quite a weak chapter in the Forrest Gump story actually.
The Jesus And Mary Chain
4/5
Not as Psycho-randy as I've been for this in the past but overall this still holds up as a pretty classic debut and essential go-to record of the 80s that meshes tuneful lusty 60s Beach Boys and Spectorian pop with howling, scabby, punishing noise rock. Primal Scream's Bobby Gillespie is on this and does a great impersonation of Moe Tucker on drums. High points include Tastes Like Honey, The Living End, Taste Of Cindy and Something's Wrong.
Beck
3/5
More like Okaylay because this is simply OK. And not the good Okaylay Ned Flanders type as in Okaylay Dokaly but rather the Okaylay Schmokaly Ho Hum-aly type. Beck has a good jumble of chintzy indie, hip hoppity and orchestral sounds n loops going and Devil’s Haircut, New Pollution and Novocane are decent but it is all a bit hipster, average or annoying (especially on the weaker tracks), also pretty dated and really, Eels’ Beautiful is where it’s at!
The Flying Burrito Brothers
3/5
Not a gilded palace or anything but a good burrito album nonetheless. My favourite tracks were Hot Burrito #1 and Hot Burrito #2. The one at the end was soggy burrito.
Scissor Sisters
3/5
In 2004 this beefy million seller managed to beat Keane to UK #1 of the year by 582 copies and of course outstripped other 2004 titans such as Franz Ferdinand, Killers and Mylo so for a brief time the UK really was a scissored isle. Album is at its utmost best when it’s either channeling Elton John to the max or doing gay disco versions of Pink Floyd. There are many great singles on this but they’re all kinda clumped near the start which leaves a disparity between the first and second half of the album as big as New York City night and Sahara Desert day. Take Your Mama is the key indeniable pop juggernaut here and Mary is super touching and heartfelt. Comfortably Numb cover is DIVINE. After that the songs do get very ho hum. Tits On The Radio is the main Ana Matronic and would be good except the melody is very crap and one note. Filthy Gorgeous is the last highlight and is Filthy Decent. Everything else is Filthy Drab or Filthy Doldrums.
The Jam
5/5
No mod cons with this being on the list. This is awesome timeless stuff. Quintessential Jam and as good as any Style Council album. Paul Weller is such a snazzily angry young man on here and really steps up compared to the first two Jam albums. He pays a bit of tribute to Kinks with a cover of David Watts and then proceeds to take over from Ray Davies as England’s finest songwriter. They’ve got a poppy, tuneful, sharp suited attack dog sensibility that tips Elvis Costello, Sex Pistols, Clash and The Buzzcocks all into the same cocked hat and it’s easy to see why they ended up dominating the UK charts quickly afterwards. Mr Clean shows them at their most spiteful and bitter, English Rose at their most sensitive and poetic. They save their most righteous and best songs till the very end with A Bomb On Wardour Street and Down In The Tube Station At Midnight which as well as describing a torrid time out with far-right hooligans is also an almighty fizzy poppying bass masterclass from their fox in the box Bruce Foxton.
Keith Jarrett
5/5
Mesmerising stuff. Officially the best selling piano album of all time, its brilliance drifts in and out but when it’s on it’s on like sky-high geysers of fluffy soothing fire and overall you do have this fantastic impromptu jet stream blur of jazz, classical, new age, gospel and immense ivory inkling soul. Plus a little bit of Jarrett’s trademark high frequency Bugs Bunny singing bleeding through too. There is actually a full-length movie made this year to celebrate the 50th anniversary but they missed a trick by not casting Eric Andre as Keith.
Frank Sinatra
5/5
Hard to beat a bit of Frank. In The Wee Small Hours is even more superb but this is still a smashing collection full of sterling, sophistomicated highs such as You Make Me Feel So Young, You’re Getting Into A Bad Habit With Me, I Got You Under My Skin plus other jollities such as Makin’ Whoopee. Another swing and a hit from the king of the swingers, the gangsta vip. 4.5 stars.
Goldfrapp
5/5
Sexmerising stuff. Whole album sounds like the best Bond score with a perfect blend of vintage and modern and peppered throughout you have some seriously smokey, svelte, salacious, synthalicous home run songs…. Lovely Head, Human, Pilots, Utopia hmmm slurp. Alison Goldfrapp’s voice is smokier even than the smokiest rasher of bacon together with a morning slug of the smokiest scotch plus a bundle of morning cigars as well. Hmmm… even more slurp and a bit of puff n munch as well! There is a tiny bit of a Felt Plateau in the middle of the record that ironically includes the title track but either side of that the outcrops get serenely big and felty. Chuck your Portishead into the bin. You probably weren’t wanting Shirley Bassey and Propellerheads anyway but chuck that as well. This here Goldfrapp debut is all the sexy girl electronica you need
Germs
2/5
Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers is normally a super wise professor of music and life but his super-fandom of this group and their one and only album is perhaps his greatest character weakness. The guitars are ok in a sloppy skater punk kinda way but the vocals are absolute grot and the 10-minute closer Shut Down is an utmost earachey definition of filler. Time to get out the Dettol.
Paul McCartney
3/5
Made just after the fallout from a bitterly bitter bitterest of Beatles break ups, this here McCartney solo debut represents a sort of cherry phoenix rising from the squished and violated life bowl of cherries as well as a signal of a newly contented career and family life. It is a seriously cool, quirky, folky, lo-fi vibe starting off lovingly with the lovely Lovely Linda song fragment before eventually drifting to other chirpy, delicate, gold nugget half-songage such as Junk and Man We Was Lonely. It is overall a slightly frustrating listen because it is all pretty formless and there are lots of rough phases that you have to sift through to get to the occasional genius bits. There is one absolute shining diamond on the album which is the all-powerful piano power ballad Maybe I’m Amazed but it’s then followed by twiddly experimental drum jam Kreen-Akrore which is the kreen-akrappiest album closer imaginable. Overall a mixed folky lo-fi bag. 3.5 stars.
The Who
5/5
“Sir, there’s been another high school shooting. The killer has wiped out all the students, laid their bodies across the playing field as if it were a mass grave and set fire to the whole damn thing so there’s nothing left other than charred corpses and cinders.”
“I guess it’s only…”
*glasses*
“…Teenage Wasteland.”
YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
David Bowie
5/5
“The return of the Thin White Duke throwing darts in lovers’ eyes”.
Cool, cool album. One of his very best. David Bowie may have been a bit too gaunt around this time from living on milk, peppers and cocaine and then there’s his other bad habit of supporting fascism but if he kept on the Thin White Duke character he would have gone on to be the meanest celebrity Bullseye contestant.
The Lemonheads
3/5
If life gives you Lemonheads put Evan Dando and his bandmates into a big electric juicer and make some Lemonheadsade from it.
Other than the taste of Lemonheadsade, the only really sucky thing here is their band name. Musically it’s pretty rad and kinda like Hüsker Dü or Nirvana if they were mainly into clean jangly 60s pop and had just a tiny bit of added early 90s skater slacker ethos. Melodically it is really bright and chirpy throughout even if the tunes aren’t always exactly memorable and there are some cute cowabunga skater girl harmonies that pop up now and then. It hits a strong streak in the middle but does tail off near the end and it is quite a short album anyway at 29 minutes which is a bit sketchy. If Lemonheads haven’t got anything going right now they could remake this album from a Star Wars angle and call it It’s A Shame About Rey.
Jeff Beck
3/5
Fair and dandy yet kinda average schmo sixties blues rock what with Rod Stewart crowing in on the mic and especially when you compare it with Led Zeppelin’s debut which came out the following year. Ol Man River and Greensleeves covers plus inspiring song titles like Blues Deluxe mean that this isn’t exactly the hippest tracklist Beck could have gone with. Opener Shape Of Things is solid and there is one main burning bit of rock god brilliance with Beck’s Bolero but Jimmy Page wrote that one anyway and also we live in a post-Truth world where we don’t need this album on the 1001 list anymore.
Sabu
1/5
Interesting that this came out on Blue Note Records because it’s more like ‘brown note’. It’s a very dank, claustrophobic listen and the restless conga and chanting makes it feel like I am being held prisoner in some jungle village and they’re about to get the cooking pots out. Occasionally there’s some nice guitar bits that break up the conga monotony but that’s a small solace. 1.5 stars.
The Monkees
2/5
Eww you like the Monkees?! You know they don’t even write their own songs… oh wait they do start writing some of their own songs and playing their own instruments at this point. Still sucks.
Machito
3/5
Zesty but also quite backgroundish. I can see Gene Deitch era Tom & Jerry happily jiving and whacking each other over the head to this.
Tom Waits
2/5
If live swordfish were actually bent into trombones it would probably be less painful for them than forcing them into listening to this. I’m guessing this is Tom Wait’s grand turn into clink clank carnival songs with extreme pirate dog vocals. First song is certainly a bold move - it is one of the most awful things I’ve ever heard. So chilling in fact, the four horsemen of the apocalypse could use his voice on it to rotorvate the earth into even swifter destruction. 2nd track has some pretty painful guitar tones as well. 3rd track is like the shittiest drabbest circus music. After that the album does move slightly away from pure torture as there is a bit of variance and eclecticism plus maybe the actual occasional good song. In The Neighbourhood is a blubbery twinkly brass band ballad and Down Down Down is a snazzy green onions jazz jive only slightly spoiled by the ruffian growling n a grunting on top of it. Frank’s Wild Years is another snazzy track featuring spoken word as opposed to singing which means that’s it’s easily one of the less revolting pieces here despite the contents of the story. If I saw this album in someone’s collection I’d be hard pressed not to douse it in gas and set fire to it. Never could stand that Tom Waits.
Tim Buckley
2/5
Tim Funkley… not nearly as good as regular Tim Buckley.
This is all a bit too freaky and I don’t just mean with the rampant horndog lyrics - Buckley sounds like a cross between Barney Gumble and the illest groaniest bonobo and his mutant scatting n a-screeching really does pollute what is otherwise a fairly smooth, plush funk n soul album. The folkier, stripped back Hong Kong Bar is actually one of the better songs here and proof that Tim Folkley wins out but generally these opuses about being a house boy, watching the cobra waltz, doing the monkey rub n squeaking those bed springs all day long I would rather hear anyone else sing - Ian Curtis, Noel Edmonds, Stephen Hawking, Robin Gibb… maybe not Robin Gibb.
Tortoise
1/5
If millions were to have listened to this they should have plausibly all died from boredom. It doesn’t so much sound like one tortoise but more like a trio of them crawling around as slowly as they can on their instruments or on the mixing desk or tape machine and screwing up the playback. Side-long opener Djed is a monumentally dull, messy, aimless, ear-achey waste of time and the other tracks on Side 2 is yet more tedious post-rocky jumble.
Dr. Octagon
4/5
Cool album. Album cover is cool. Everything about this album is cool to be honest… or ‘kool’ because the rapper’s name is Kool Keith. Very wacky, lurid, off-kilter comedy horrorcore vibes and rhymes throughout and seems very ahead of its time in the realm of alternative hip-hop. Beats from Dan The Automator are mint and the wonder show scratching from DJ Q-Bert is maybe even more of a star at this operating table. Skits are also great. A horse is in the hospital? Classic. Moosebumps? Classic. The one about Dr Octagon giving treatment to a gynaecology patient whilst pretending to be a woman? Classic.
Bee Gees
2/5
CLIVE ANDERSON: And here we welcome Odessa by the Bee Gees which was a hit album back in 1969, or should I say ‘shit’ album because shit is one letter away from hit. And what an ugly bunch of bastards these freak show lads are. The band used to be known as Les Tosseurs but they’ll always be Les Tosseurs to me!
BARRY GIBB: We’re getting on like a storm, aren’t we? In fact I might just leave.
CLIVE: Don’t go! I’ve never had anyone leave before except Adele, Fever Ray, Franz Ferdinand and Christina Aguilera.
BARRY GIBB: Well you’re the tosser, pal!
CLIVE: Hey Maurice, won’t you stay to fill in the chat of your missing brothers?
MAURICE GIBB: I’m sorry, I don’t do impressions. See ya later, Clive.
CLIVE: But you have shown quite well that you do grandiosely shit Beatles and Scott Walker impressions?! And there we have it. The Bee Gees and Odessa, who look like they have just walked off the 1001 List as of this moment. Good night!
Iron Butterfly
3/5
Crusty but legendary late sixties acid rock that helped forged heavy metal. In A Gadda Da Vida is a jam… literally for 17 shaky sprawling minutes. Pretty much the riff of Cream’s Sunshine Of Your Love played on organ, it’s also a timeless church hymn and basis of one the all great opening scenes in The Simpsons. The other side of the record is ok if a bit patchy and sounds like Frank Zappa if he was trying to make sincere hippie dippie flower power baroque rock splodge. A 3.5 mainly for the influentialness of title song and also for the Simpsons factor.
Parliament
3/5
Has one thumping funk banger with the opener “Make my funk the P Funk, I wants to get funked up”. After that the funk gets a lot more basic n bread n butter n boring and also the funky narration n voiceover gets stale really quick. The essential ingredients on this you can find wholesale on Dr Dre’s The Chronic and George Duke did this kind of P Funk better on hits like Reach For It and Dukey Stick. Low 3.5 stars. “Make George Duke my P Funk. I want to get Duke’d up.”
Stephen Stills
4/5
Stephen Mad Skillz. Also Stephen Stacked. Not only is the sound incredibly rich n rootsy throughout with a super strong gospel undercurrent but the guest list on this album is insane. Jimi Hendrix comes along before his death to whip up a severe funky rip roaring storm on Old Times Good Times and Eric Clapton bosses it like a big old bad boss on Go Back Home. Even Ringo Starr pops in on To A Flame which is a seriously wintry mood in itself. Album opener is Love The One You’re With is such a stone cold all time mood booster classic and similar but not quite to the extent of In A Gadda Da Vida it makes an excellent appearance in The Simpsons. Closer We Are Not Helpless is a proper rousing send off as well. So yep, this album has got the Stills factor, the Crosby & Nash factor, the Hendrix factor, the Clapton factor, the Ringo Starr factor, the Rita Coolidge factor, the John Sebastian factor, the Booker T Green Onions factor and on top of that the Simpsons factor.
2Pac
5/5
I’m not really keen on incarcerated thugs or bald people for that matter but this is superb stuff. Smooth grooves, swag beats. Such a sensitive poet! The synths, the samples, the sexy lady vocals… it’s a smorgasbord of fantasticness that always manages to feel slinky, sexy, street smart and spiritual even on the rawest, grittiest tracks. The title song is a supreme poppin highlight near the start and Dear Mama is a next-level heart-tugging, soul-searching tribute-paying masterclass but there are lots of heavy-hitting bangers throughout. Even though he did quickly end up in the casket, I may have to add the vinyl of this to my Amazon shopping basket.
The Last Shadow Puppets
2/5
To say I was disappointed to see this completely average and inconsequential Alex Turner side project make the list is something of a massive understatement so that’s one thing the album or at least its name manages to get right.
Röyksopp
4/5
Cool chill early 00s Scando electronica. First two tracks are best as sample-wise they bow down to kings such as Burt Bacharach and Bob James. 3rd track Sparks is lush and the best kind of Sparks outside of Coldplay and The Who. Outside of that you’re looking at Poor Leno and Remind Me as the next best cheesily vocalised downtempo highlights. Solid 4 stars.
Orbital
5/5
AKA the Brown Album, or as it should be known, the Golden Brown Album because this stuff is gold! I don’t know why Snivilisation was such clanking dismal claptrap because Orbital really got their game on so well here. It’s a sweeping cinematic progressive alien techno rave of grand symphonic proportions where all the various movements and weird, dangerous, exotic (and above LUSH) textures all blend so beautifully together. The Star Trek sampling first track is not just where ‘time becomes a loop’ but also has a bit of phasing as well which makes Orbital Steve Reich-level geniuses. Lush 3.1 is a swoony, gobsmacking early highlight cut from the same gorgeous acid rave cloth as 808 State’s Pacific. Things get a bit heavier on Impact (The Earth Is Burning) which sounds like an orgy of rave, apocalyptic destruction and orgies. Halcyon + On + On is the best crossover track though, so phenomenally blissed. Used in Mortal Kombat and Mean Girls, it would actually sound good in any movie soundtrack... even Lord Of The Rings or Muppets Christmas Carol. Overall this is an easy 5/5. Definitely a classic of 90s electronica and a perfect Christmas Eve treat.
Santana
5/5
Hot stuff. Or rather should I say mucho caliente. This is just a brilliant, timeless classic fusion of rock, jazz and latin. Good enough to be preserved in the Library of Congress as well as Guitar Hero III: Legends Of Rock. Santana’s guitar tone is killer, the cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Black Magic Woman is an all-timer and there are some underrated blastin rockin highs in the second half as well with Mother’s Daughter and Hope You’re Feeling Better. Great bongos on this. 5+/5 album art from Mati Klarwein as well. The lady on it with the dove is actually meant to be the Virgin Mary so the timing of this album for Christmas is actually pretty good.
Tom Waits
1/5
I’m forever on a 1001 album generator asking ‘what the fuck is this garbage’ and the answer is always Tom Waits.
The Kinks
4/5
Solid Kinks album for the 60s. It’s not something else if you compare it to Sgt Pepper or the Hendrix Experience but it is something else if you compare it to 98% of everything from the year. The first half is mainly strong especially with the opening Jam-covered homo-tinged class commentary of David Watts song and there are a couple of supreme singles in the form of Dave Davies solo Death Of A Clown and wowzers Waterloo Sunset - just for extra clarification Waterloo Sunset is one of the toppermost songs of the 60s decade. A lot of the tracks in the second half are a bit grandma poppish and only kinda klassic kinks as opposed to kompletely klassic kinks which is the only KKK i approve of but overall still an approvable album thanks to first half and Waterloo Sunset salvo.
The Triffids
2/5
Didn’t enjoy my ‘day with The Triffids’. Would prefer to have been attacked by actual Triffids because that would have been more exciting. This just sounds like an inferior version of a huge bunch of 80s bands… INXS, Waterboys, Echo And The Bunnymen. Echo And The Plantmen would have been another good name for this group. There is a soft highlight at the end with Save What You Can which is a bit sweeter in sound and a bit like another plant group Prefab Sprout but other than that this was a very uninspiring listen and needs to be taken out of the 1001 List and straight onto a compost heap.
Bobby Womack
3/5
So I put on this album.
Skipped a couple of YouTube ads
And though he’s not much of a ‘poet’
I thought it wasn’t half bad. High 3.5. Just My Imagination and Lay Your Lovin’ On Me pick of the sexy funky soul pops.
If you like sexy funky soul pops of an early 80s timeframe then I would suggest Between The Sheets by Isley Brothers, In Your Eyes by George Benson or even The Best of George Benson by George Benson as albums to either fit alongside Bobby Womack’s The Poet or indeed replace it on the list as this album isn’t exactly filled wall to wall with Bobby Wo’bangers and Lay Your Lovin’ On Me is from a slightly weaker bit of the same sexy funk soul cloth as Benson’s Turn Your Love Around anyway.
The Thrills
4/5
Can’t buy a Thrills… except in a charity shop. I’m flicking through my 2011 edition of 1001 and this album is nowhere to be seen. It was everywhere in 2003 but seems to have fallen off a cliff since. Shame because this is incredibly sunny, breezy, California-inspired sunshine indie pop with a lot of sterling, hookwormy singles stacked at the front. Any song that slams The Monkees is a great one which means that Big Sur is a great one. Vocalist Conor Deasy has a bit of a twee whiney whispery delivery - somewhere between Wayne Coyne and Owen Wilson - but I would rather hear this than anything by the Flaming Lips. The back half of the album does tend to slip into merely pleasantville territory but One Horse Town and Say It Ain’t So are other strong highlights outside of the supreme first three. So much for being Ex-1001. I would support pushing this back onto the 1001 list.
Isaac Hayes
4/5
By The Time I Get To Phoenix takes an awful lot longer than it should to get there but other 3 tracks are terrific. 4 Chocolate Salty Balls out of 5.
Led Zeppelin
5/5
No features.
No Swedish songwriters.
No Trap beats.
100% pure uncut Rock.
Robert Plant the father of all his wife’s kids and his sister-in-law’s kid too.
New Order
4/5
Substance 1987 tends to be my go-to New Order as it has the trancy dancy 12” mixes of all their banger singles up to that point. This one ain’t as bangering or essential - No True Faithin’, no The Perfect Kissin’, no Thieves Like Ussin’ nor any Bizarre Love Trianglin’ - but it’s still really good near-classic New Order stuff. Lots of cool Hooky bass. Lots of graceful, gliding indie guitar pop and breezy easy going Bernie vocal melodies. There’s some thick exotic synthy lushness on Mr Disco, some nice menacing, extra stabby orchestra stabs on Round & Round plus some pingy Game & Watch sounds as well. You even get All The Way which repurposes The Cure’s Just Like Heaven and puts it into the context of a good album with a better singer as well! It’s all a fine time except for opener Fine Time which is a real ugly hulking hard techno slab that starts like a bad Axel F (Axel F minus), switches into a bad version of New Order’s own Blue Monday (Poo Monday), has a tiny bad bit of Oh Yeah by Yello (Oh No!) with the lines ‘you got love technique! and then dissolves at the end into goat bleats. Apart from that hard dance goat oddity, a very strong 4 star album.
Rod Stewart
2/5
“Rodders you plonker! What do you think you are doing?! You already have one solo album on the list with Every Picture Tells A Story and it wasn’t exactly a pretty picture now was it… except for Maggie May who I guess was a bit of alright. You also were on Truth by The Jeff Beck Group which was another bloody boring album to tell you the truth! This one doesn’t even have anything as good as Maggie May or any of her other viable females relatives, just a bunch of bloomin lousy, cut rate covers and even lousier originals. Country Comfort?! More like Country Claptrap. Not one of Elton John’s best, let me tell you. You could have renamed it Southern Comfort and gotten yourself into advertising Southern Comfort drinks for a big load of dosh. You could have covered Skyline Pigeon, dressed yourself up as a giant pigeon and made yourself a nice novelty hit. But no, you just had to wheel out this tired old dross! What ever would your mother think!”
- Derick “Del Boy” Stewart, older brother of Roderick Stewart.
Justin Timberlake
4/5
Justin TimberGREAT. A lotta bone fide blockbuster early 20th century pop singles in the first half that still sound really just great. Perfectly straddles pop, RnB, hip hop, latin and disco. Good blend of landmark Neptunes and Timbaland productions although the Neptunes ones definitely come out tops with Rock With You… I mean Rock Your Body the one true king of the bops with Like I Love You and Senorita sneaking in 2nd and 3rd. The first half is so top form that second half does seem like super weak, plain ex-boy band smush in comparison but the singles on this really are undeniable.
The Cramps
1/5
More like The Crapps - Songs A Spazlord Taught Us. This is a vigorously terrible album with the same crappy punk riffs throughout and what sounds like the bloke from B-52s yelping all over if he happened to be more mentally handicapped. The Mad Daddy which their utmost equivalent to Surfin’ Bird would have been the most dismal thing here if it weren’t for the cover of Fever at the end but truthfully all of this record is lousy.
The Louvin Brothers
3/5
Not tragic at all. Pretty good in fact. Nice O Brother Where Art Thou? vibes. Act would be better if they changed their name to MacLouvin. Solid 3.5.
Lorde
2/5
Green Light is a good un. Decent housy groove when it pops in after a minute or so and build-up throughout is very rushing n euphoric. Really banged when it debuted at Glastonbury 2017 and still makes for decent BBC Glastonbury ident music. The songs after it are just not up to the same standard and are more of an amber warning. The beats and backing music feel way more basic, bare bones and not as interesting and the lyrics are all just variations on a theme of Justice Tthhee Ppaarrtty. Homemade Dynamite is more like Homemade Damp Squib. Also Lorde’s voice is pretty annoying to be honest, like a cross between Taylor Swift and Lars Ulrich. 2.5 stars.
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
1/5
The girls like Orchestral Manoeuvres just fine. Young and old, it doesn’t matter… in the dark. I however think it’s really shit. A wise professor by name of Frank Zappa once said that writing about music is like dancing to architecture. Well, this album gave me the opportunity to do a bit of both but sadly the dance bangers on Architecture & Morality are in very short supply and its inclusion on the list is frankly immoral. The singers are horrible, can’t play, can barely sequence or write songs and they often choose the nastiest, ugliest synth tones. It’s got a rigidly dank downbringing mood throughout and in the case of opener The New Stone Age and Sealand goes on murderously forever. It’s almost got an early Human League and Gary Numan type of sound but without the ‘pleasure principle’. Souvenir in the third hole is kinda pretty and basically the only passable tune. 1 star for the website but ideally this would be struck down to ground zero stars.
The Doors
4/5
An excellent Doors album all round. Essential mainly for the opener Roadhouse Blues which is one of their bluesiest best and features a howling awesome harmonica performance from my main man Lovin’ Spoonful frontman and Care Bears songwriter John Sebastian. Waiting For The Sun is another big epic essential Doors blammer and all the stuff after it is good - a meaty, moody, manly, mighty fine mixture. It’s not as high up as LA Woman on this list but still belongs here along with their debut and ideally Strange Days. Gonna get myself a beer now.
Todd Rundgren
5/5
You’re a wizard, Todd Harry Rundgren. Not a True 5 Star though, there is a bit of patchiness on the second side. First side is stunning though. So crazy. So chaotic. So many choons. Such an amazing side-long whirlwind representation of an acid trip. More modern day rock n pop artists should be made to take massive long acid trips and log the musical results onto tape. Certainly would make Ed Sheeran’s and Adele’s next albums more interesting. There are titanic bangers such as International Feel which kickstarts and closes side 1 as well as live Todd favourite Just One Victory which seals the whole terrific deal on the album. Also some flab and wonky steps along the way too. The 10 minute soul medley is actually quite lovely for the most part except it mungles it up with a garbage rock version of Cool Jerk and there are a couple of shorter tracks either side of it that just whizz by without much effect. Anyhow… for the first half and Just One Victory, a true 4.5.
Aretha Franklin
3/5
Hey Nineteen, that’s Retha Franklin. Oh, she knows already. She remembers the Queen of Soul because it was only 10 days ago we had I Never Loved A Man The Way I Love You. It’s soul. She sings soul. Album is called Lady Soul. S’all very good soul but not much to write home about. You Make Me Feel (Like A Natural Woman) the main standout. Gimme another Doors album please.
CHIC
4/5
These guys must have raided a Fort Knox’s worth of After Eights because this stuff is seriously mint! Good Times is the most legendary song here and is responsible for rap via Rappers Delight as well as more importantly Another One Bites The Dust by Queen. 2nd track A Warm Summer Night is a supremely lush slowie and in terms of greatness the Yang to Good Times’s Yin. Forbidden Lover is the other main surefire highlight but it’s all a ‘good time’ to be honest. Unlike their other album on here C’est Chic there’s not any one outright clanger or moment of subparness. Every song is at least solid. The grooves are such momentous ear candy and so smooth and sleek. The vocals are both scorching, sexy and sass-filled yet also super supple and are able to both whip up a storm and slink into the disco background. Awesome vintagy album art too. Only a 4 because when it comes to true outstanding disco pearls it is a bit top-heavy.
Country Joe & The Fish
2/5
Didn’t care for this Country Joe and The Blowfish record. I said something like this a few days ago but it’s even more relevant this time… shoulda gimme’n me another Doors record. Strange Days is from this year and way more essential than this!
The Saints
3/5
G’day mate. Never heard of this before in my life. You call that a punk album! This is a punk album *pulls out a copy of Random Access Memories*. This all Saints stuff is OK I suppose but not totally bonza. It must of fell out of the forgettable tree and forgot to not hit every branch on the way down. Throw another album on the 1001 barbie, now there’s a good drongo.
The Youngbloods
3/5
By the ranks or single file
Over every folky mile
Oh we stamp and crush
Through the jazziness
*harumph!*
In a San Francisco style
In a San Francisco style
Hup, 2, 3, 3.5 stars
Keep it up! 2, 3, 3.5.
The Pogues
4/5
Top of the morning to ya! What a fine Pogues album we have here. With many a great song such as Dirty Old Town… and Dirty Old Town. Perfect music to go with my 10 pints Guinness and pot of gold. Four leafed clovers out of five.
Tito Puente
3/5
Mambolicious. High 3.5 for the music. Strong 4 for the lady on the cover even if she does seem to have a weird massive scorpion leg for a right arm.
Sade
5/5
Diamondlicious! Sade a bit of a reedy, parched sounding goddess on this one. A lot of cocktail-splishing smooth jazz/sophistipop supremacy with Smooth Operator, Your Love Is King and the like. Plus a damn fine slice of Cherry Pie! Does end on a sour patch though with the cobwebby, crumtacular Why Can’t We Live Together. That one be more like rhinestones. High 4.5 overall.
Dire Straits
4/5
Damn fine Straits! Includes classics such as Sultans Of Swing, other cool deep cuts such as Sultans Of Swing and of course their legendary early big hit Sultans Of Swing. 4 Sultans Of Swing out of 5.
R.E.M.
3/5
Not the most essential Green on this list - that would be Green Gartside, frontman of Scritti Politti. This is just a good, not necessarily great R.E.M album. First 4 songs and Orange Crush are all strong and have the shape and feel of classic R.E.M. It does start to fill quickly with dud tracks though and they’re too lazy even to give the last song a proper name. It would have been much better to put their follow-up and big commercial breakthrough Out Of Time on the list, what with it having Losing My Religion and other firecrackers like Shiny Happy People and Radio Song.
Jerry Lee Lewis
4/5
No features.
No Swedish songwriters.
No trap beats.
100% pure uncut rock & roll…
And a whole lotta cousin-fucking going on!
All killer, no filler… except when it comes to underage cousins. There is probably a lot of ‘fill her’ in that case.
4.5 stars rounded down to 4 for being a tad racist and also for the cousin-marrying thing.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Not so batty for this one. Bob Marley is a cool dude but I could easily be Natty Dead without ever having listened to it. Key tracks are Them Bellyful and No Woman No Cry although it’s not the definitive live version. Am A Do with the catchy ‘do it with ye bad self’ hook is the main other good song but apparently it’s not even on the original track list. I’d definitely stick to Exodus and Legend: The Best Of Bob Marley as my essential Bob Marley.
The Young Gods
3/5
Cool album. Very cool mix of hellish avant garde soundscapes and turbo charged industrial rockers. Can be a bit cheesy and dated at times though. French vocals are admittedly a big turn off at the beginning as they sound like a cross between Rammstein and Pepe Le Pew. Opener La Fille De La Mort is a particularly punishing lengthy standout that concludes by sounding like an absolute warzone and carnivalesque 4th track Charlotte inexplicably has a go at being a Swiss Tom Waits and is, as Bono would say, even better than the real thing (not that it’s hard).
Beatles
5/5
The album where Beatles seriously step up a gear in their album game as it is an album with serious S Tier Beatles gems such as Drive My Car, Nowhere Man, In My Life, If I Needed Someone and Norwegian Wood that are way more special and a smidge more radical than anything they’ve written before. Let’s just say they’ve all got various ‘soles that I have enjoyed rubbing a lot and other people have enjoy rubbing too. Every track here is a definite ‘would’ to be honest, even the much-vilified closer Run For Your Life which is still better than most other artists best songs. If it weren’t for Revolver existing straight afterwards then this album would truly be Best Of The Beatles. The richest and rubberiest of 5 stars.
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
Starts off absolutely wretchedly with that 2nd track monologue being the pits. Has a small oasis of not-as-wretched like mainly with the eponymous single. Then goes back to being fully wretched. The only essential work from Johnny Rotten as it stands is Never Mind The Bollocks and Country Life butter adverts. Oh, and Open Up with Leftfield to be fair. 1.5 stars.
William Orbit
2/5
Starts off as snoozy cargo and then turns into disappearing cargo. It’s the kind of stuff that The Orb, Orbital and Chemical Brothers in chillout mode do a lot better anyways so the whole thing feels pretty average and inessential for its genre but around the halfway point it just slides emphatically into a faint noodly ambient abyss and gets lost for good. I just got a call from the front desk… it was never there!
Hot Chip
4/5
Doesn’t have any all-timer bangers the size of Over & Over, Boy From School or Ready For The Floor but this is still very much something of a Hot Chippy tour de force. Kind of a New Order Technique situation where there is no one true classic essential song of theirs but it’s still the band in their virtual prime and might even be their most consistently ace n slappin’ throughout. Starts off in perfect epic fashion with Motion Sickness which is a cool whacky epic opener that has whirring high-pitched Bugs Bunny bibidbidi lip noises that give way at the end like the sirens in Karma Police. Don’t Deny Your Heart is super strong day glo 80s pop with yummy and intense Steve Winwood Valerie/Scritti Politti flavours. Lead single Night And Day is a mega skewiffy acid-drenched dance barnstormer that sounds like a wonky Moloko with reconstituted vocal bits from Sing It Back and Day For Night. Let Me Be Him is the penultimate song and a worthy pinnacle of the album - very towering and anthemic and soundwise has future echos of Head Full Of Dreams era Coldplay. Overall, album’s a very good ‘un. Definitely belongs in a list of 1001 Chips To Check Out Before You Die along with Fish n Chips, Goodbye Mr Chips, Biff, Chip & Kipper, Mr Chips from Catchphrase, Kettle Chips and Chip’s Challenge.
Soft Cell
3/5
Begins pretty shittily and aggravating with the earachey aggro-fest Frustration but then it snaps into true all-time synth-soul classic Tainted Love and things become all right again. Seedy Films then sets the tone just fine for the rest of the album with its talk of sleazy city n sleepy people plus on top of that Sex Dwarf is just so sordid that it needs to be heard. As Kevin Eldon in his 2000 appearance of the cleaner in Black Books would say, dirty… nasty… shameful… very, very dirty! Overall a very dirty 3.5.
Grateful Dead
2/5
Live/Tedium. Would prefer this if it were the Hateful Dead. Make it more Screamo. Get some Pantera riffs in. As jam records go it’s easily more classic and essential than the bloody Quicksilver Messenger Service that’s on this list but I would still rather pay to see a half-dead Shakatak. At least they would keep Night Birds to under fifteen minutes.
Dr. John
2/5
Guy’s voodoo powers are for real. Even though he and his name were staring right at me I somehow managed to think he was Dr Hook and I had all sorts of ‘hook’ puns ready to go so he’s definitely cast some kind of voodoo curse on me even from the grave. This is certainly very swampy and shamanic with witchy lady backing vocals throughout. Unfortunately it’s too swampy and the songs are never that interesting. They’re like Hobo Beefheart doing Monster Mash level novelty music for a half hour straight. 2 stars.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Light 3.5. Has Proud Mary but doesn’t have Fortunate Son which is what you’d really want on one of the three must-hear CCR records before you die. This album would have been better if they collaborated with Carole King and turned it into the Bayou Tapestry.
The Gun Club
2/5
Guns + Punk = Gunk. Someone please wipe this mess off the 1001 Albums list?
Jamiroquai
5/5
A truly sensational debut. Such a fine, funky, vibrant flutey mix plus a furious, fan-fuckedy-tastic heft of didgeridoo as well. Band are on fire and Jay Kay is such a superstar on this. Homeless crazy violent drug addict one day and then class act practically overnight. Such a top-drawer poet and prancer. Have better anti-war words ever been spoken than “Duh duh duh doo dab dab doh doh da doah doh” x4? 4.5 stars because there are a couple too many fluffy instrumentals and the singles on Travelling Without Moving are even more supreme but bumped up to 5 because of the ‘Jamiroquai are awesome’ factor.
Korn
1/5
There are some cool Ragey elements to this - some good moody riffs and Reclaim My Place achieves a nice Killing In The Name simplicity towards the end. Album experience is mostly rot though and that’s all because of often crazy horrid vocals from the main dude. It is true that Fred Durst popping up on one song is light relief and Ice Cube for some reason wades in to dilute the muck as well. Main dude just sounds so revolting though like the frilly necked dinosaur that spits poison at Newman in Jurassic Park but instead of poison it’s caca and instead of spitting he’s gargling it. What the effing effage is that vocal breakdown in Freak On A Leash? It’s like a voice should appear just after it saying ‘Charlie says always tell your mummy before you go off somewhere”. Needless to say but album is way too long at 67 minutes. 1.5 stars.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
Because it’s Marvin Gaye it does have an extremely silky soul sound throughout but is a bit much at 4 sides as it does get incredibly samey. Artwork from front to back is top class - so much bitterness palpable. In terms of 1001 Albums I have to say “not herely my dear, I don’t give a damn” because I can’t call it an all-time great masterwork but maybe it should be a shoo-in for Top 1001 Divorce Albums or Top 1001 Albums From People Tragically Shot Dead By Their Own Father From The Very Same Gun That They Themselves Had Given. 3.5 stars:
The Sugarcubes
3/5
If I was Dougal from The Magic Roundabout then I should be all over this album because it is well known that Dougal The Dog cannot resist a good sugarcube or two. Unfortunately there is just a high touch of rancidity to this particular sugarlump batch. Bjork who is pre-mega breakthrough solo career here is already a bit of a growly goddess of rock/indie/altpop/whatever, certainly worth snuffling some extra sugar from but there is another lead vocalist here who is really rotten and seems to have his own mission to turn the group into the crappest version of the B-52s. I’ve heard of being a Ringo or a Bez or indeed even a Fred Schneider but I certainly never want to be an Einar of any group. Fortunately there are enough cool songs anyway despite his presence and the album is only 33 minutes so it’s short and sweet as well as skank.
Sigur Rós
5/5
Just beautiful. I don’t mean this as any sass but this is as beautiful Icelandic Coldplay as you can get even in 1999 before Coldplay were a thing. A very long album at 70 minutes, it gets phenomenal mainly at the start and during the last 4 tracks towards the end. Just to think that cute sleepy alien baby/foetus thing on the cover is all grown up now old enough to drive, vote and drink at bars. I hope it’s not starting any dance pop Imagine Aliens shit.
Depeche Mode
2/5
I dunno about this one apart from it being very deeply mediocre, ploddy, ghoulish n dour synthplop. Strangelove was OK because the sound of it made me want to play Goldeneye 64. Few other highlights though and last song was actually kinda ghastly. This album should be called Music For The Long Grasses because in terms of essentialness I’d kick this album off the list and into the long grass.
Mekons
2/5
A bit manky this one. I like whiskey but I don’t like fear so much and there was just too much fear along with a bundle of other pongy scabby elements. 2 stars out of 5. You’re twisting my Mekons, man!
The Bees
3/5
Like Nicolas Cage I have to say “Not the Bees” because as chill n groovy as they are they are they don’t really deserve to be on this list. They’re a bit like the “Beeta” Band in that they’re cool but they haven’t really made a consistently great album that is truly 1001 worthy. The main claim to fame of this one is Brazilian cover A Minha Meinina which was used in an advert once. Other tracks here cop a real true soulful, jazzy, carribean blend but in the second half it does gets a bit too dusky and also especially middling. Such a shame but songwise it is a case of 1001-Worthy Not Hit Me.
Björk
2/5
Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving with a Bjork.
The Rolling Stones
3/5
A tedious Rolling Stones album right off the bat with the krumtastic Kinks kopping Mothers Little Helper and Jagger soon after trying to sound all renaissance minstrel on Lady Jane. The 11 minute formless jam Going Home obviously is a major drag but most of the album is to be honest except for one genius essential song Under My Thumb which is geniusly matched with Brian Jones’ genius marimba. There is an argument as to whether the US or the UK version is better but really they both suck and I would just keep Under My Thumb and Paint It Black on a 1001 songs list and chuck the rest.
Chicago
2/5
Okay in places but also an almighty slog. I could have used the time to cook a Chicago Town pizza and then another Chicago Town pizza followed by yet another Chicago Town pizza and then another Chicago Town pizza and maybe one more Chicago Town pizza after that. And I’d rather eat them all in one go than sit through tracks like Free Form Guitar or Liberation. At least if Jimi Hendrix were to do some completely pointless painful feedbacky jam (which he’d never do as rubbishly as here) he’d at least give it a creative title like Third Stone From Chicago or And The Chicago Bears Made Love. I’m A Man along with Beginnings are the main two decent songs but I’d definitely stick with the Steve Winwood original because it’s not 7 minutes for a start. 2.5 stars or 6 to 4.
Ms. Dynamite
3/5
‘Ms Dy-Na-Mi-Tee-Hee’ is a very catchy hit and rightfully deserves its place on the FIFA Football 2003 soundtrack… not so much on a 1001 Albums list. I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to dig into Ms Dynamite even ‘a little deeper’. It Takes More is the other main distinctive hit here and is also pretty sass with slight future echoes of Amy Winehouse You Know I’m No Good. The rest of the album is just really standard smooth RnB or cheesy clunky hip hop and goes on for too long. That’s the crux of it really… sass rapper n singer, super average songs outside of the 2 decentish hits. Generous 3 even though the FIFA Football 2003 soundtrack should be here instead.
PJ Harvey
1/5
Grungy feel is good - Nirvana sans catchy riffs or melodies but with heightened notes of Nick Cave. Riot girl energy is good. Constant nails-on-a-chalkboard wailing is good. The song about female goatse is good. Turkey is a little dry.
Girls Against Boys
3/5
Cool sludgy 90s alt-rock even though I was expecting some actual girls to be singing on this. And the boy singer to sound not quite so like an infinite swarm of Doom minions getting shot. Drums are great, very Bonhamish. Guitars are great, a bit Pearl Jammish but cooler and nastier. Maybe spiked with a bit of RATM. There are some cool rocking highlights with Let Me Come Back and Bullet Proof Cupid. Best moments on the album also have hints of Joy Division in heavy mode à la Twenty Four Hours and Dead Souls. Album title also sounds like something Scritti Politti would come up with if they were a sludgy 90s alt rock band. Overall probably not essential but still lots to like. A lux 3.5.
Hole
3/5
I like a bit of Hole and some nice rubbing with celebrity skin. Don’t think I could have a ‘whole’ one though (at least not for 1001). Title track opener of course is a stone cold super nostalgic rock radio classic and 3rd track is pretty nice n cool I guess. Rest of the album is kinda bland and overproduced though. Overall a not too shabby 3 in the hole.
Fairport Convention
4/5
Cool Canterbury folk pops with just the thin thinnest leafiest crunch of Led Zep. About level bricking with Unhalfbricking. Lengthy medieval epic Matty Groves definitely the star of the show. Oh nonny nonny nonny nonny nonny no, a 4 for Liege and Lief oh nonny I must go.
Buffalo Springfield
3/5
Oh no, not Buffalo Springfield again! Actually, this is probably the first time we’ve had them but anyway oh no, not again! Springfield, Springfield is a helluva town but this Buffalo Springfield is not one helluva album. Mr Soul with its ((Can Get Some) Can’t Get No) Satisfaction flavours and Expecting To Fly by Neil Young on the first side are OK but you can junk the rest. Lightest of 3s. Definitely not essential.
Happy Mondays
2/5
You’re twistin’ my melon man! Two Happy Mondays albums in the list? You’re twistin’ my melon man! Pills ‘N Thrills And Bellyaches is an obvious 90s classic and fair enough contender for 1001 - a sloppy grand touchstone of the Madchester scene where indie boozes up and barrel-rolls into rave and produces a clutch of hella iconic singles to boot.
This here album which came before it? Not so much. It has that bleary baggy sound but songwise is so primordial. Frontman Shaun Ryder hollers stuff out throughout like some leary atonal ogre demon. There clearly was some sculpting of actual tunes on their next one but basically there is none here. And the one main melody that stands out here via closer Lazyitis does so because it completely rips off Beatles Ticket To Ride. On their debut they originally included a song called Desmond which was deemed such a rip-off of Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da that legally they were instructed to destroy all 3000 copies of it. It’s a shame the same didn’t happen with this album. What a bummer.
Incubus
2/5
Stinkubus. Seems to feel like the most boring elements of Korn, Linkin Park and Nickelback but a little stinkier.
Favourite tracks - none.
Air
4/5
Bit of a safe normie recommendation for electronica but still a classic of the genre nonetheless. The first 3 tracks are so sumptuous, dreamy, iconic, organic, classic and chill and although the rest of the album is a bit scatty n sketchy there are relaxed delicious hints of Gainsbourg, Daft Punk, Bacharach and even Boards Of Canada adjacentness. As great as the first 3 songs are the rest of it is a tad of a letdown in comparison and I do find myself often going to Simple Things by Zero 7 which has the none-more-chill standout In The Waiting Line.
The Byrds
4/5
These Byrds albums seem to be a tuppence a bag on this list. There a few wonderful gems like So You Wanna Be A Rock N Roll Star and My Bqck Pages. Some hideous Byrd poop like Mind Gardens that needs scraping off. Bit of a featherlight collection even at 4 stars because it’s still classic Byrds. The Very Best Of The Byrds would sort out these chaps well.
The Mars Volta
1/5
How do you say de-lousy? How do you say de-hideous? Oh la la la la-la-la-la-la. How do you say de-massive gush of yelpy, annoying emo metal prog spooge? 1.5 stars for Deluged in the Mars Volta Cummatorium.
5/5
Just a couple of facts, fact fans. The LNER 4468 Mallard is the world’s fastest steam locomotive, travelling at a speed of 126mph in 1938 and Blur is not just the world’s best Britpop band but also the best band of the 90s. In rejection of grunge and baggy and in the best tradition of Kinks and Small Faces they really do announce themselves as saviours of British music and the album is just a procession of one great pop classic after another. For Tomorrow, Chemical World, Sunday Sunday, that annoying piano ditty thing just after Chemical World… not rubbish at all. Absolutely superb. Easy 5 stars. This whole album sort of forms a holy trinity of Blur albums along with Parklife and Best Of Blur.
New Order
5/5
Definitely an album to check out before you die over Technique which is their other one on this list. This has just much more of a classic feel from them front to back and is beefed by some genuine beefy hit whoppers as well. Perfect Kiss = Perfect Chef’s Kiss. Surprised it’s not playing with more people’s pleasure zones here. Sunrise has thrilling racing Fleetwood Mac Chain outro vibes and even a bit of Shadowplay as well. Sub-culture is the other standout banger although I do think the 12” mix on Substance is superior. Overall full of heart and full of class and livin the high life. 4.5 stars bumped up to 5.
Beach House
2/5
Blech House. Album art is already enough of a tip-off towards its blandness but this could only count as dream pop if dreams were always about white or off-white wallpaper. A better recommendation would be Memories In Beach House by City Pop supergroup Seaside Lovers comprised of Akira Inoue, Masataka Matsutoya, & Hiroshi Sato which is a beautiful, lush, dreamy, exotic record and actually does have a teen dream on the cover as well.
Pet Shop Boys
4/5
Whether or not this has much merit being on the 1001 List, this is nonetheless a VERY good Pet Shop Boys album. Introspective is an all-round tastier dance feast with a more epic slew of bangers like Left To My Own Devices and Domino Dancing whereas this just has the one epic landmark single in Go West tucked away at the very end. A very noble and powerful song because the singer was just coming out as Russian even after the most massive Tetris pandemic. Other tracks are all very droll and fancy pantsy although the circusy When I Was Mad is maybe the only time where it spills over into being a bit much. Overall a VERY strong 4.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Anok Yai is apparently this year’s model. Kendall Jenner last year’s. This one has the odd excellent jam like Pump It Up and I Don’t Want To Go To Chelsea (as a fellow Liverpool fan I can relate. Such a horrible plastic club) but overall is not quite as poppy or as glorious as the immediate follow-up Armed Forces and doesn’t hold a candle to the smooth sophisticated lounge masterpiece that is his collaboration album Painted From Memory with Burt Bacharach which should surely be a priority for the book ahead of this one. Low 4.
Cat Stevens
5/5
Such a classy, cool, craggy, worldly wise voice. Such beautiful, timeless songs. Father & Son always makes me blubber. Wild World? Absolute smasher. Hard Headed Woman? Hard Headed Hot To Trot! Just a terrific blend of folk and pop with chamber music elements and even hints of prog textures and gospel. Deft yet delicious strings and keyboards throughout. Also mightily political and searingly soul-searching. ‘Where do the children play?’ - these are the big questions that weren’t really being asked by chart singers at the time other than maybe Rolf Harris. Title track at the end also deserves credit for being the only good thing about the Ricky Gervais sitcom Extra besides Patrick Stewart and David Bowie’s appearances. Perfect Ten for the Tillerman (5 for the site).
Syd Barrett
3/5
Haphazard yet also crazy cool album from the painter, piper, prisoner, raver and seer of visions. There are a few shining solo cuts like Terrapin, Dark Globe and the shimmery beautiful Golden Hair. A bit of madcrapness on the first side where Soft Machine want to join in and play. A bit of hell-in-a-hand basket cringe where the producers leave in hideous studio outtakes from Syd to show how painful and protracted the recording sessions were. Quite a lot of tortured genius here whereas his other solo album Barrett made with Gilmour and Wright is more of a case of smoother, relaxed madcap genius.
“An effervescing elephant
With tiny eyes, and great big trunk
Once whispered to the tiny ears
The ears of one inferior
That by next June he'd die, oh yeah!
Because the tiger would roam
And the little one said oh my goodness I must stay at home
And every time I hear a growl
I'll know the tiger's on the prowl
but I'll be really safe you know
The elephant he told me so
And everyone was nervy, oh yeah!
And the message was spread
To zebra, mongoose, and the dirty hippopotamus
Who wallowed in the mud and chewed
His spicy hippo plankton food
And tended to ignore the word
Preferring to survey a herd
Of stupid water bison, oh yeah!
And all the jungle took fright
And ran around for all the day and the night
But all in vain because you see
The tiger came and said who me,
You know I wouldn't hurt not one of you
I much prefer something to chew
and You're all too scant, oh yeah!
He ate the elephant”
Is the tiger in that song called Tony because that stuff is Grrrrreat! An album with the calibre of that deserves to be in the book even above this one which gets a respectable 3.5.
Manic Street Preachers
5/5
“Hats off, gentlemen - a masterpiece. An album that wants to rub your face in your own vomit and force yourself to look in the mirror and does just that. No features, a lot of 100% pure uncut rock plus some real epic cool psycho-feminist, anti-capitalist, serial killer, Holocaust, anorexia and suicide-themed bops here. The ‘Intense Humming Of Evil’? More like The Intense Humming of 5 stars!”
Robert Schumann writing for Piano Monthly, September 1994.
Astor Piazzolla
4/5
I’ve been Tango’d. What a great recommendation from 1001. I never knew I needed this much bandoneon in my life. Vibes dude Gary Burton is great as well even if the second track does kind of sound eerily too much like Bowser’s Staircase in Mario 64. Just a quick check through Astor Piazzolla’s solo work and I can tell that Tango: Zero Hour is even yummier.
Common
3/5
I took a maths degree and failed it twice. Failed it harder the second time around which is probably why I prefer this second Common record a little bit more. Beats are better thanks to Kanye and has a bit more of that chipmunk soul. I find Common to be a pretty average rapper (I’d grade him ‘Be Minus’) so the one track that Kanye pops up and raps on near the end is easily the best of the lot.
Suede
3/5
A sho nuff certifiable stone cold early Britpop classic with a slew of proper suave singles, at least from guitarish standpoint. Main problem is Brett Anderson is pretty yelpy and annoying as frontman and is like a poor toothless Saturday morning cartoon version of Bowie. More gammy than glammy. There are also some proper snoozers like Pantomime Horse so I’ve no problem giving this a 3. Wooo go Team Blur! The worst thing the Manics ever did (besides their newest album Critical Thinking) is probably tour with Suede in 1994 and co-headline with them again in 2024. I would have respected them more if they co-headlined instead with a puppet show.
Leftfield
4/5
Cool progressive housey ethno techno beats to study/relax to. Some nice Macarena vibes towards the end of Drop The Pressure. Bit of dancehall on Inspection (Check One) that paved the way for acts like Major Lazer. Some cool vocal cuts with the Portisheady Original (so not that original I guess) and John Lydon bleats it up good like a devil goat on evil flamey temple raver Open Up. A solid 4 stars from your humble friend o’ electronica.
Wilco
2/5
Wilco back my friends, to the list that never ends. I’m so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.
Sounding rather weedy, is a fellow named Jeff Tweedy. He’s wearing his mankini, look away, look away.
Come inside the album’s about to start.
Guaranteed to bland your world apart.
Rest assured you’ll get your moneys worth.
Check it out on YouTube free henceforth.
Elvis Costello
3/5
If the fountain of youth was a 5, Youth from Killing Joke a 4, Sonic Youth a generous 2 and Hitler Youth a 1 then this Elvis Costello album would be a square 3. It is mostly fine but nowhere near his best work or being anywhere close to essential. What was Robert Dimery thinking?! It does live up to its brutal title in terms of the harsh mixing of the drums and vocals and also the sheer brutal length of the tracklist. London’s Brilliant Parade is probably my pick of the meagre pops on display here. Elvis really did need Burt Bacharach to mellow him out as proved by their smooth ten tonne masterpiece soon afterwards with Painted From Memory. A crucial work for him as it scooped him up from the critical and commercial wilderness and led to his appearances on Austin Powers 2 and the Notting Hill soundtrack.
The National
3/5
Not High Violet or Ultra Violet but Mid Violet. For all the bluster in the instrumentation, the songs and vocals do tend to be a dull dragging trip through dour town. There are some moments of quality like on Blunderbuss Ohio and Lemon World. It’s Matt Behringer’s Lemon Party and he’ll cry if he wants to.
Ute Lemper
3/5
Was going into this with not the highest of expectations but it ended up vorsprunging above them ever so slightly. Ute has a pretty evil yet rich, expressive, weirdly sultry voice with a bit of gravel not unlike Mai Yamane from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. This whole album could easily be The Real Bertolt Brecht Blues. If there’s one goofy voice that sullies the experience then it’s Neil Hannon on the tracks that he’s on. Neil… stick to producing, as Ice Cube might say. Although you have a star-studded list of doomy gloomy songwriters helping out, the ten-minute Scott Walker one at the end really takes the evil cake. Almost a 4 for that one alone.
The White Stripes
2/5
Fell In Love With A Girl is a great song, mainly thanks to its LEGO music video by Michel Gondry. If I had to pick just one White Stripes album for the 1001 list however then it would be Elephant and not this. Not this. Hotel Yorba is a Hotel Nope.
XTC
5/5
I don’t know if I am much of an XTC fan but I am a Todd Rundgren fan and as producer he sure does wrangle a good album out of these Swindon lads. Sure, their voices are a bit goofy but the album as a whole is LUSH in historiated capital letters. The first half particularly is so feverishly sweltering from all the gorgeous sonic splendour. Melodically it’s so divine like sweet nectar from the gods. How does someone listen to a song like Summer’s Cauldron and not doff their cap in bedazzlement by the end by the geniosity and vividness of it? Arrangement-wise it has all of the best traditions of late sixties Beatles but also future echoes of Blur. As well as Skylarking this has huge hints of Parklarking and Great Escape-larking as well. Ultimately a 4.5 because the second half is a bit patchier and it does fade away to a low ebb by the time of Dying and Sacrificial Bonfire which is why original non-album MTV hit Dear God at the end is a necessity.
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
3/5
The Message is gold. Absolute gold. Pure timeless synthy jamtastic slice-of-life socio-political commentary that still resonates today.
“A child is born with no state of mind
but if it’s Billy Joel it’ll have a New York State Of Mind.
If they do 1001 they’ll be pleased to see
Timeless by Goldie cause it has State Of Mind on track 3”
The rest doesn’t hold up nearly as well but is still kind of fun in a ropey old-skool kinda way. Vocoder doldrums Scorpio is like EWF Let’s Groove without the Groove. Dreamin’ is the soul/RnB equivalent to ELO’s Beatles Forever in terms of how mushy and fawning a tribute it is, in this case to Stevie Wonder. That leaves She’s Fresh, It’s A Shame and Genius Of Love-sampling It’s Nasty as the more mid-range hip-hoppier cuts. 3.5 stars or should that be ha’s? A ha ha ha.
Paul Revere & The Raiders
3/5
I don’t know about ‘Revere’. Everything about them seems dorky and not essential in any way. Very derivative of British Invasion groups, there’s still a couple of decent cuts or so. I’m Not Your Stepping Stone is a halfway banger that you can kinda shake your moptop to. I’d much prefer a Moonlight Drive from the Doors than a Midnight Ride from Paul Why-Is-This-On-Here and the 1001 List Raiders though. Get Strange Days on this list instead.
Dexys Midnight Runners
2/5
A lot more boring and pointless than their other records on here although the singing is still just as annoying. The one recognisable tune of course is the one that rips off Werewolves Of London. Arooooooo! I don’t know what the point was of the chatter at the start of track 2 so I just started imagining that it was the vultures from Jungle Book saying it. (“What are we going to do?” I dunno what do you wanna do?”)
It’s a beautiful day for someone whenever this pops up on the 1001 random album generator! A great comeback album for the group and it is one of the best examples of a band continuing to knock out some of their greatest songs even after two decades into their career and clambering right back to the top of their commercial game. Soaring, anthemic and above all beautiful, the first four tracks and Coldplay Parachutes represents the peak of music in the very early 2000s.
Van Halen
4/5
Some glorious magic singles on this. Hot For Teacher is great big banging blistering bundles of 256BPM fun and Jump is a synth player’s Smoke On The Water. Panama? Fuck yeah! There are a few firecracker moments elsewhere but it is mainly these 3 songs that make this album what it is. Surprised to see Michael McDonald get a co-write on I’ll Wait although it’s disappointing that they didn’t even try to go for something that matched his turn on Ride Like The Wind. It’s not even a Yo Ma Be There. Album is ultimately one where I’d rather just watch the hits on MTV or YouTube. Artwork is horrible. That cherub is going to emphysema for the rest of his heavenly days. Mid to low 4. Second best 1984 behind George Orwell’s.
Fugees
2/5
2.5 stars. One star for each decent song with those songs being Killing Me Softly, Ready Or Not and the one that has the cool sample of Flamingos I Only Have Eyes For You (just half a star for the use of the sample though and not the whole song as the whole song is not deserving of a full star). I would like this album more if it was What Is The Scores, George Dawes or Final Score with Ray Stubbs and special guest Mark E Smith.
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
1/5
Now I Got Earache. Some of it is bludgeoningly boring basic trashy blues but other parts are so shrieking and awful that I would actually have preferred listening to Duck Stab. New least favourite discovery on here.
Björk
2/5
Not peak Bjork. No big band whoppers like It’s Oh So Quiet or other meaty essential whoppers like Army Of Me or Hyperballad. Just snoozy ballads that lean into the more boring tracks off Kid A. Let’s be honest, the only main great thing about the album and this phase of Bjork is the Swan Dress. Honk, honk! (even if it is based on a mute swan - still honks).
Janelle Monáe
3/5
Very fresh when this came out. Great synthesis of pop, hip hop, future funk and RnB along with ambitious orchestral movements. Locked Inside and Cold War are two very tasty poppy anthemic heavy hitters and there is a nice snatch of Debussy chucked near the end. It’s an album that could have done with being 38 minutes as opposed to 68 though. In terms of quality tunage it ended up being a ‘parched’ android for most of the runtime during the second half.
Roxy Music
5/5
Opens phenomenally with The Thrill Of It All and later on Out Of The Blue almost matches it for plush, firm, dazzling, spell-binding art-rocky intenseness so a nice pair of tracks there. Album finishes strongly with A Really Good Time and Prairie Rose so another nice pair as well. In terms of album rating this is more of a medium to low 4.5 but this is going on my 5 star wall anyway.
Suzanne Vega
4/5
Heaven or Suzanne Vega? Hmmmm, probably heaven but this is still lovely stuff oh yes indeedy. Such a cute, unique yummylicious vocal delivery. In the same bracket as Rickie Lee Jones but more gentle and mouse like and without the pining for Tom Waits. A very high 4 for the site even if it doesn’t have Tom’s Diner or My Name Is Luka.
Shuggie Otis
3/5
No Shuggie. I don’t like Shuggie noogies and I don’t like their Shuggie boogie music with their porch noogie boring background Shuggie beats. No Shuggie noogies on this list.
… or that’s what I would be saying if I was Grumpy Boogie. Aht Uh Mi Hed is a good tune and Strawberry Letter 23 is very sweet and synthilicious even if it isn’t actually on the original album.