Music

No

I am not a big pop fan and despite knowing Madonna's name I am completely unfamiliar with her catalog. Because of the big name, I was expecting something groundbreaking. Maybe her voice is spectacular? But no, it's just shitty dance pop with light auto tune. I feel this can't possibly be one if Madonna's best albums, let alone an album you must hear before you die.

1/10 A pop electronica album from 2000 featuring work by Guy Sigsworth (a man who has worked extensively with Imogen Heap, Björk and Lamb, among others)? Yes please! Oh… What? Hang on, what the hell is this? I obviously remember the big hits off this record from my teenage years, but in my head, they were way better songs than they actually are, and the production across those tracks, as well as the rest of the record is absolutely bizarre. This album is the audio version of the “How Do You Do, Fellow Kids” clip from 30 Rock, in which Madonna, her collaborators and, if I had to guess, quite a few music execs, try to make music that “The Kids” are into, despite not really understanding that music at all. It’s kind of remarkable. What’s even more remarkable is that, from a sales point of view, it actually worked. It feels a lot like the first port of call was to buy three or four of the most popular synths of the day and bash through a bunch of presets, while playing along to some hastily programmed drum beats, but then not actually developing things further, except to pile more effects, weird noises and clashing tones over the top of everything. Honestly, it’s a complete mess from a production point of view. If you listen closely, there are actually some half decent ideas buried under there, but they’re so swamped by “state of the art production techniques” (i.e. digital fuckery that’s been really badly executed) that it’s hard to see them than anything other than big steaming musical turds. And you can’t claim that these are just artefacts of the time this record came out, because a lot of the electronica techniques they are trying to implement had been used creatively, effectively and with nuance for at least a decade prior to this release. Luckily for my mate Guy, it looks like he only actually had a hand in one track on this record, which is actually the best one on there, but even that isn’t enough to save this steaming pile of musical manure. And I’ve nothing against Madonna, she has released some classic pop music in the past, but this is just a shambles. Music - The weird thing about this is that it’s a better song in my head than it is on the actual record. It’s so dynamically flat, there’s no nuance to the drum programming, and the synths feel like they’ve all been set to the one of the first presets in bank A. It apes the work of a load of dance music producers from the 90s but without any of the grit, style or feel. This is “baby’s first dancefloor anthem”, aka the kind of music you give to kids if you don’t credit them with any critical thinking. The melodies are reasonably catchy though, so this sold by the boatload. Impressive Instant - More derivative dancefloor sounds to start us off and good lord, it gets worse. There are some atrocious and pointless vocal edits in this that don’t add anything musical or interesting to the blend. This is stuffed full of terrible sounds that don’t connect together well and it doesn’t even find anything close to an engaging melody. This is complete trash of the highest order. Runaway Lover - Again, and I feel I may be repeating myself often on this record, this is another derivative, unmemorable dancefloor track that has some truly baffling moments of production. I can hear kernels of how this could have been turned into something not shit, like there’s a tiny bit of trip-hop sound like Lamb buried deep within it, but it’s been ultra-processed to the point where that feels so very far away. I Deserve It - So this is a fairly mundane country pop number, but the drum beats and synths that they use are so teeth grindingly robotic and dynamically flat that all of the charm and nuance is completely sucked out of what could have been a half-decent song. Utterly baffling. Oh, and it’s too long. Amazing - Well this isn’t as bad as some of the stuff we’ve had up to now, but it’s still very, very dynamically flat and one-paced. It kind of feels like the production team and Madonna herself are doing two different things with this track that don’t actually blend all that well. There’s a bit of grit and intensity to the track and Madge sounds like she’s singing a clean pop song. The flutey synth pad is annoying, and it feels like they also couldn’t work out how to end it. Nobody's Perfect - Oh, shit. Awful auto-tune now. And some weird whispering. I just don’t see what the auto-tune brings to the table here, and even the lead synth sounds sad to be involved in this. Again, there are some really clunky bits of production that almost sound unintentional, they’re that poorly executed. This is such a strange way to treat a ballad, because as a result of all the audio fuckery, it has no soul at all and the production actually draws attention away from the (admittedly incredibly boring) song that sits underneath it. Don't Tell Me - Right, so I obviously remember this because I was 15 years old when this album came out and wasn’t a complete shut-in. But again, my memory of it is far better than the reality. The sample chopping of the guitar part is laughably poorly executed, and that type of sample chopping had been being done expertly by a number of producers up to this point, so the age of this song is no excuse. The timing is sloppy, the cutting of the tail of the tones jars. The synth parts are really crap, the strings sound like cheap samples and it’s produced in such a way that everything clashes and feels pretty incoherent. I think there are some decent melodies in there, but they’re hidden amongst an abomination of clashing and half-arsed ideas. What It Feels Like For A Girl - This is the best track on the album by such a long way that it’s not even funny. It has a good thematic message, the melodies are pretty good and there’s so much more nuance to the synth and drum programming. It doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that this is the only track on the album that was co-written and co-produced by Guy Sigsworth. The synths and strings blend really nicely together and it’s got a really nice ambience to it. It’s not the most well developed or exceptionally interesting track, but it stands out so far above the rest that I actually quite enjoyed it. Paradise (Not For Me) - What on earth is going on with this half whisper-sung vocal intro? Oh god, then we get some vocoded nonsense. The resonant synth patch that comes in is way too loud and again, this feels like a super-weird clash of styles and tones that rut up against one another but never blend. It’s like a string of half-completed ideas mashed together. Some of those ideas aren’t actually that bad and we land on some reasonable moments of ambient trip-hop production, but as soon as the vocals come back in again, they are so bad that I’m not even sure how to describe them. Gone - Ok, here’s a plodding singer-songwriter start. The drum programming isn’t as mind-numbingly flat and robotic as I Deserve It, but it’s still pretty monotonous and uninteresting. I also don’t understand why you’d put those synth effects over the top of this, it’s just an incredibly strange production choice. This is a fairly bland track, but it’s not terrible, however it’s just got more of those odd choices that make it a hard listen. American Pie - This is a bonus track, so normally I wouldn’t review it, but I just wanted to note that this is an utter abomination.

:( 1/5

The first part of the album was really grating and awful. What It Feels Like For A Girl and Paradise (Not For Me) were the only songs that were at least decent, and that’s because they’re different from the sound of the rest of the album. Not feeling generous today; this is getting 1 star.

Awful. Even by Madonna's standards.

It was so bland, the production is immaculate but nothing else going for it.

Unlistenable

Blech. Never much of a Madonna fan and I found this album pretty horrific

It was so forced although I wasn’t in the gay clubs then so It might of been banging but I couldn’t help but cringe for her shot at staying relevant…

just no god no this was fully bad

Not for me

As someone who is only vaguely familiar with Madonna, I can just imagine someone not knowing anything about her, seeing this cover thinking it’s country, and then being seriously disappointed lol. On a related note, this album is awful.

madonna krolowa popu jak szczupak krolem wod

I hate this.

Insipid lyrics, nothing memorable, completely skippable

I mean come on. How is this album in this list… although I quite like ‘Don’t Tell Me’

Alright. When I listened to the last Madonna album, I thought it was a fluke that it was so bad, but I'm beginning to think that at some point in her career, she just got really bad.

Awful. The absolute worst. The cover of American Pie is the worst thing I've ever heard. Not just limited to music, either. That includes all sounds. Ever.

god this album actually sucks

GTFO

I promise never to change the station on Holiday, but that's it.

“I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows“ -bart simpson

This is it. This is the year that music died. This album was the kill shot. We sat back and let this garbage become popular enough to influence mainstream music and it has never recovered. 1/10

Music - 3/5 Impresive Instant - 0/5 Runaway Lover - 2.5/5 I Deserve It - 1/5 Amazing - 2.5/5 Nobody's Perfect - 0/5 Don't Tell Me - 2.5/5 What It Feels Like for a Girl - 3.5/5 Paradise (Not for Me) - 1/5 Gone - 2/5 American Pie - 0/5 That was some bland and overproduced pop BS. I don't know how I listened to the whole thing, but there were some bright spots (Music is a guilty pleasure type of song, What It Feels... is an actually half-decent song). The autotuned and robotic voices really kill this thing. How was this critically acclaimed. All I'm realizing is that the early aughts were not a good time for music. Overall: 1/5 Favorites: Music, What It Feels Like for a Girl

Crazy how big Madonna got without ever actually putting out a good album

A bunch of terrible lyrics and bland music held together by ear candy

I didn’t like it

too techno-y :(

Incredible how bad this is

bastante basura, he pasado como 6 canciones, nunca mas

This hasn’t aged well and I didn’t like it when it came out

I like Madonna but this album is not it. Some of the songs have awful lyrics and some of the performances are genuinely annoying, especially the painful whisper lyrics. 'what it feels to be a girl's was only okay track. The American pie cover confirmed the 1. Jesus Christ it's bad

Why is this here?

Madonna two days in a row?? Ray of light yesterday was surprisingly good and got a 3. I'm nearly angling for a 1 with this. What is the aim? The techno pop tracks early in this album are shocking. Only when the sort of country-pop tracks are tried does it sort of hit a note of acceptability. And 'music' as a title. I don't understand? Is it that you were trying to amalgamate loads of different music genres into one, or are you just being super lazy? Or do you actually have that much of a state of self-importance that you feel an album can be titled as such? Ok, it's getting a 1 now.

Nicht auf Apple Music

There’s not a single song I wouldn’t immediately skip if I heard it ever again.

What in the hell is this sound?? The 2000’s pop sound was all over the place, this sounded like spacey electronic dance music but in the worst way possible. Madonna owes me 49 minutes of my life back. The sad part is that enough people enjoyed this shit for it to make this damn list lmao. Wait Nobody’s Perfect came on and Madonna morphed into T Pain… you can’t make this shit up!

The sound of a dying swan, the last motion of a headless chicken before it expires, the twitching of butchered meat when salt is applied, the punch-drunk boxer who desperately throws a couple of last haymakers hoping to connect with anything on their way down, a middle aged mum wearing her daughters clothes as a way to hold off peri-menopause, the boss who passes off an underlings work as their own to seem like they still know whats going on, a dad shouting 6-7 at his kids as he hasn't accepted his irrelevance

Music Don't Tell Me What It Feels Like for a Girl

An awful, boring album. Was Madonna faking an English accent during this Kabbala, Guy Ritchie phase? Some things are better left in the last millenium.

Just pop music that isn’t all that good. 1/5

Not my bag.

Ni de puta coña escucho a Madonna.

Wow, that was trash.

Only made it to track two. I just don't want to listen to this.

Thought this was quite dated and not entirely sure why it's here. The title track isnt great and the American pie cover is awful. They bookend pretty bland dance pop with acoustic guitars in between. Not great overall

Why?

Not very listenable

Madonna is annoying to me.

Do I have to? Lol

Terrible. Couldn’t take it seriously with the ridiculous lyrics…

This is one of the worst things I have ever listened to. She can’t sing; the lyrics are facile and vapid. Shit in a silk stocking, the manifest inadequacies of the material are to be buried under expensive production but end result sounds little better than europop.

This phase of Madonna is no bueno

Not for me 1/5

I thought Music was horrible. It lacks the energy and authenticity of Madonna's older work. The electronic direction felt uninspired, especially compared to her earlier hits. It just didn’t capture the magic she used to have. Definitely not a favorite.

1 - not good, overproduced electronic pop

Look I’ve always had a soft spot for pop music, and that’s something I’ve had to defend / admit to myself quietly so I’m not going to be a genre snob here. However, this just wasn’t a fun listen. Madonna has a catalogue of great tracks, ones which you don’t have to be a pop fan to enjoy/admit how well crafted they are. But lots of these felt like they could have been crafted on audacity by someone of my capabilities, and ‘I deserve it’ epitomised that lyrically and musically throughout. Sunday is a notoriously fantastic day to listen to an album, but this wasn’t one of them. Am sorry.

This is such an auto-tuned mess. The few decent songs are more straightforward (Don't Tell Me for example). But What it Feels Like for a Girl tries too hard to be provocative with nothing to show for it. And then there's the blasphemy of the American Pie cover.

Madonna's 8th album changed the game and definitely deserves to be on this list.

This is supposed to be one of the 1001 albums, which one should listen to before one dies? Is that some kind of joke? It's not different to thousand others pop albums out there, except maybe that a very famous person made this album. If I'm missing something I really would like an explanation.

Was going to be a 2 but I couldn't forgive that awful cover of American Pie

Yes, this was Music by Madonna. Though if you asked someone to sing a song by her I can't imagine any of these would be among them.

Geh mir weg damit. Habe ich irgendwann abgebrochen. War nur nervig.

Dear me. This album contains the worst lyrics you will ever hear. And the production is just something I cant articulate. Like when you get something new and try every feature at once. Over produced? Lazy? Shite? All of the above. Honestly this is dreadful

I believe this album sort of spearheaded her reinvention as a dance-pop gran, culminating in Confessions on a Dance Floor about 5 years later. The album title is laughable - absolutely no thought whatsoever. "What's on your new album, Madge?" "Music, Guy". Don't Tell Me is a song on the album. The other tracks are not worth reporting on. Tonally, all over the place. Regarding the cover of American Pie: I saw Don McLean some years ago now in Utrecht doing his greatest hits tour. He ended up doing a 10 minute version of his second best song (his best being Vincent). It was pretty spectacular; he's an old man but he sounded young and vibrant, lamenting loss and generational change. Back to Madonna - this album is about 1.5, but I can't for the life of me fathom giving this 2 stars.

Ah, 2000. A time when well-established icons (and Victoria Beckham) disguised their ageing voices with that robot autotune sound. When you hear the name Madonna, nobody - absolutely nobody - thinks of this album. Title track might be considered after a while, but this couldn't sound more bland and dated if it tried. A reminder that not everything pre-9/11 was sunshine and rainbows. It's 8 hours since I wrote the above, and I only just got to see other reviews. Considering the number of references to 9/11 in them (not something I ever do) I'm going to say that this album is not just terrorism on the ears, but contains some form of subliminal terrorism within. Madge did it.

Crap. Madonna had her moment in the 1980s. But you can only coast so far on spectacle over substance, without being good at the things that are actually your job - singing, dancing, writing pop songs. Madonna's post-'80s career is a textbook study in diminishing returns.

This is crap. Theres nothing great about this album at all. If it wasn't by modanna or at least she stood there while someone both over and underproduced this album, it wouldnt even be considered.

THEY MEMORY HOLED "American Pie" lol I was so confused! I listened to this *10* track album on Spotify, then went to the reviews... Why are all these people wanging on about American Pie??? A little digging then brings up an *eleven* track version Woof.

I'm just thinking of all the albums that aren't on this list that could have been over this one........ It does encapsulate that weird time between 90s/00s pop. Didn't mind Don't Tell Me. 1.5/5

A esto lo llamo música para drag queen básicamente: un electropop vacío sin alma alguna. De hecho, cuando esta mujer se pone a jugar con el autotune no hay quien la aguante. Este disco solo tiene una canción agradable (American Pie) y no es ni siquiera de Madonna. 1/5

kinda meh. its got that 70s 'futuristic' sound at times. a bit depressing

Big ole meh

Sorry, I just can't. I've never been a big fan of Madonna, and this is clearly Madonna past her peak. Just no.

Madonna suffering from a seriously bad case of the Y2K bug. It sounds like she listened to a bunch of 90s electronic alt rock (Beck, Portishead, Beta Band, Stereolab) and thought, oh I'll have a go at that. The electro pop stuff is pretty solid, if uninspired, high spec dance music as you'd expect from a standard bearer of the genre and some of the chilled out mellow stuff is decent, but what the hell is this acoustic strummy pseudo Sheryl Crow stuff ('I deserve it') and auto-tuned trip hop ('nobody's perfect')?! Awful.

Didn't listen to the whole thing cause meeeehhh

There were a couple times I caught myself thinking "maybe this one will be okay?" But they weren't. Soulless pop trash

This album was terrible. I have no clue how it made this list. Washed up, poorly written trash. Hopefully there’s some 80’s Madonna on this list

Not an album I'd run out and buy. Sometimes I wonder about the people who chose the albums for this list.

The cover of American Pie is the longest 4:33 I've had in 548 albums. Ugh.

Uh no thanks

Mostly mindless forgettable eh. The good ones seem like Madonna trying to sound like Cheryl Crow. The bad ones have no personality and barely sound like Madonna.

Not my cup of tea, I do like a few of her early club songs but this is too shiny and overproduced

I'm angry that I've been forced to listen to this. American Effing Pie FFS.

Wow. Bad.

Meh outside of 2 songs

Auto tuned pop confection.

Wow, this "Music" is shockingly bad. What the helly happened to Madonna between Ray of Light and this? Pretty sure it's still with William Orbit, but unlike Ray of Light, all the songs here just suck! "Nobody's Perfect" might take the record for worst, most pathetically generic, song ever. The lyrics on that are especially bad, like a 4th graders first poem. I didn't even like a single song off of this, and I am quite trigger happy with likes (got 40k on spotify 😂). Worst inclusion of the list ever, I genuinely can't believe they went with this over Weezer or blink-182 or hell even Madonna's older albums. She was HUGE in the 80s and we only get "Like a Prayer"? Seriously? I'm completely missing some essential music history here. This never should have sniffed the list, this album is awful. Worse than The Streets and SAULT

I really dislike Madonna, and it doesn’t help that this album was made 20 years after her prime

The Good: We get Music!!! The Bad: It is 2000’s Madonna music… The Ugly: That gold grill… Really? Music? This is what the list is turning into? Yesterday I was excited… Today I am distraught… Music will do that to you… And to think that I have 600+ albums to go before the journey ends...

This is a cultural time-capsule best left buried. Very dull pop that at best boasts some interesting production but little else. The decision to include a dreadful cover of what was already one of the 20th century's most over played songs was a bizarre one. At the end I felt like I required a spiritual cleansing, honestly.

This is the most ironically named album in history. It is not, in fact, music.

Evidence that you can all the studio tricks in the world and still produce a steaming pile of turdmusic. I feel sorrow for all the bytes wasted on this. And the cover of American Pie is a lifeless corpse of a song.

This album sucked. It was an irrelevant pop star coopting an underground movement (EDM) to create a soulless and bad pop album

eh

Really poor overproduced pop album the American pie cover is an abomination

Garbage. Techno country with video game noises and major autotune. No thanks

Absolutely ass. I feel sexually assaulted by the music and I now have ptsd.

Absolute terrible album with no worth in this world. Waste of an hour of my life as well. None of the songs were playlist worthy not even close. This album sounds as bad as Madonna looks nowadays. And every song was a shitty club rave beat that sounded terrible. Madonna you can do so much better. Unrelease this now.

Ts is so ass bro. Like imagine if you were groped, thats what happened to my ears on the first half of the album. Then the second half is HOLY MID I feel this shitty music penetrates my ears without my consent and I loathed every second of it Every single track on this feels like it’s all over the place and it’s a shit show all

More assembly line music drivel.

Am I being Punk'd?....Ashton Kutcher, that you?

This was a struggle. Awful.

Madge peaked with vogue - this is superfluous noise.

No surprises, this is a Madonna album that I don't particularly care for. Something about her voice grates on my nerves.

Hoo boy, this album is so early 2000s it physically hurts. Madonna is clearly starting to drink her own Kool-Aid by this point, and she really thinks she's God's gift to music here - despite the overwrought lyrics, weebly autotune, and general dearth of musical innovation all round. There's no greater sign of a lack of imagination than another bloody cover of American Pie.

Пластиковый звук не оч

I remember hating the single. I'm sure I still hate it. music: hated. (⌐■_■)

When I was in the sixth grade, this album was pretty recent. We had some sort of assignment where we had to write/perform a parody song in French. One kid, who had not learned very much French, did Music. His lyrics were “Musique//fait les personnes//vien ensemble//oui!” which is pretty funny grammatically, and also pretty catchy, and I still think about it sometimes. Singing that line in my head was more satisfying than any moment of the actual Music by Madonna.

Nogle enkelte numre der er noget værd på, men jeg synes hele den blip-blop produktion er ældet så dårligt. George Bush æra-core

Håber dælme ikke det her er den eneste Madonna plade på listen! Synes det startede fedt, de første par sange var cool! Men den sidste halvdel af pladen havde en del numre som lød decideret forfærdeligt. Kedelige ballader med stenet elektronisk produktion og elendig brug af autotune.

I am not the target audience for this album. I've never been a fan of Madonna or her brand of pop music. This album also utilizes a lot of early 2000's production, which hasn't aged well in my opinion. It's also stange to me that the visual component of this album is country oriented. Nothing about the music on this album makes me think country or cowgirl

Ray of shite

ugly

Meh... boring, washed-up pop record. Early 2000's wasn't a great time for pop music, just a lot of safe, uninspired music. Definitely didn't need to listen to this.

Why is music in scare quotes? That doesn't bode well. Wow, hot garbage autotune crap.

It’s not that this album is blatantly bad, it’s just ver uninspired and remedial. Maybe for the early digital age it was groundbreaking but it doesn’t really hold up now. The “glitch” part in the pre chorus of Nobody’s Perfect made me smirk. The lyrics of the first half of the album remind me of a high school girl that’s learning to write poetry. The final two songs are the stand outs. Maybe I’m expecting too much from a dance music album but I was not very impressed.

🥱

Couldn’t make it through this one. Between the drum machine and annoying synths just not for me.

Nearly an hour full of autotuned crap. This version of american pie is a crime.

Not a fan

the mountains of effort poured into this album to give it a different sound ended up making it the most year 2000 sounding ass album imaginable. it's so obviously an elder stateswoman of pop trying to prove she's still got it and just copy pasting whatever christina and britney were up to. holy shit this is so bland. this is a mayonnaise sandwich on wonder bread. [tapping my ear] we're just hearing reports that it ends with an indefensibly weird rendition of american pie this is soooooooo bad

Just terrible

Like chewing toilet paper.

Sorry. Just not my shit. It sounds like it was recorded underwater.

Nope

Skip

Jesus, that cover of American pie!

Going from Ray of Light to this in two years should be a chargeable offence. It is no wonder that the word music is in quotation marks on the cover. Dull, uninspired, ticking boxes for a record. I hated this for how much I couldn't enjoy it - at least give me a reason to listen to it again even if it's so bad I have to laugh. This had nothing. And yet I will probably give Ray of Light four or five stars when I get it.

This does not need to be on this list. To me this is nothing more than an artifact from this time period in pop music. Slick production and too much autotune. It has a bit of an electronica and trip-hop vibe to it at times. But man this feels so forgettable and inconsequential. Just feature Madonna's good stuff on this list, no need to add this here.

Sorry, Madge. Light Years by Kylie Minogue is WAY BETTER. Overall: 1/10

Any other artist could have put out some decent music like this and just had Madonna as a feature on a track or two. This is kind of useless Makes sense that it has been removed from the list.

Good God is this bad. The robo-assault dance music is wholly unmoving. And as much as I dislike robot music, the tiny spaces without her voice are the best parts.

This might be harsh, but I have a head-cold and this album has gone straight through me. After the first couple of songs I did start to question whether it was me or the music - then that horrid autotune song came on and she started singing American Pie and I've concluded, as ever, Madge is the problem.

Unbearable autotune experiment

I realised that I already knew a lot of songs off this album. I also realised that I hate the ones I didn't know as much as I hate the ones I did.

ależ słabe 1+

There was nothing fun about this album. Why would anyone call this "Music"?

I'd give it a 0 if I coule

There were a couple of songs that I kinda liked (Don’t Tell Me, What It Feels Like for a Girl, Gone), but overall this album was pretty boring and unremarkable. If it wasn’t by Madonna, there’s no way it would be on the list. I hate the adaptation of American Pie. So much.

Boomer music

Oof... this album really is a product of it's time. It's so stuck in time that I wouldn't even say it's a 00's album. It's specifically the year 2000. When people say they don't like Madonna, this is the era they're referring to. I've always heard that Madonna is the only artist to release a chart-topping record every decade since her start. I'm now realizing she only accomplished this by pandering to the audience of the time. She just chases whatever the trend is. The only song I kinda liked was "Don't Tell Me", but even that feels like a rip-off of Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)". Specifically the guitar cutting in and out.

Did not care for that at all.

Did not enjoy this. A couple songs were okay I guess but more than a couple were just straight bad. Production was… creative, but often not enjoyable. I really don’t that this was an album that I needed to hear before I die.

What a fuckin mess this album is. It’s like they took every shitty trend in pop music in the year 2000, randomly mixed them together and puked out 11 songs hoping a couple of them hit. I guess it’s interesting that an aging pop star/sex symbol tried to revive her career in such an obviously contrived and desperate way…and it actually worked. I mean the album is called “music” and had Madonna in a cowboy hat on the cover for fucks sake and ends with a horrible cover of American Pie. Wait, maybe this is satire and I’m just getting it as I write this. If that’s the case it’s a masterpiece, if it’s a genuine attempt to make good music it’s terrible (though I kind of like Don’t tell me).

I like Madonna. The Immaculate Collection album is one of my favorite things ever. But whether this album was done by her or somebody else it slides into annoying bad rather than regular bad and it makes my skin crawl in places. Plus her cover of “American Pie” is egregious. 1.5/5

Boring, typical pop. Nothing that has to be heard here.

Pop. Wow I really didn’t like this album. It felt like there were a bunch of do things tried, but all of them were terrible. The whispering, the sudden stops, the auto tune, the cover. There were a couple of okay songs here, but not one I’d recommend.

I find it amusing that "music" is in inverted commas on the album cover - someone at the record label must've had the same opinion of this as me. This is properly bad, no idea why it's made the list when she's made some decent pop in her career. Feels like a midlife crisis album, desperately trying to stay relevant and just getting everything one beat wrong. Like a dad going on his first night on the pull after the divorce, or David Cameron at a football match. 1/5.

Could not finish this one

There was a time, 10-15 years before, "Music" when Madonna was a relevant artist. Sometimes controversial, kinda edgy and her songs, videos and persona kept her in the headlines and the charts, because she was an artist that walked the thin line of celebrity, performer and what we would call today, an influencer. I didn't care for her music, actually I couldn't stand her, but I recognize and respect her talent and show(woman)ship. Fast forward to 2000, with the release of "Music", it questions her relevancy. First of all, the music is horrible, the songs are forgettable, on the cover she wears a cowboy hat and glitzy western shirt, the techno-pop beats are repetitious and boring and covering an iconic song, American Pie is unnecessary and embarrassing. Trying to keep up with the times musically has been what I think of Madonna for over the past 20 years and the ride has been amazing bland from someone that constantly seeks our attention. "Music" was almost unlistenable and when the auto-tune kicked in I wanted to turn it off, but clearly I'm a masochist. Essential?...uh NO, garbage...YES!

This album demonstrates the true power of music industry. Despite containing auto tuned, vapid, genre-less shit, its sound was all over the place and even garnered several Grammy nominations. Critics “loved” it. I don’t buy it for a second. They know who butters their bread. Madonna! If you shone a light on this album it would not cast a shadow because there is no substance.

Doesn’t belong in the list. Ray of Light would have been a better choice as It was adventurous and more of a radical step for her than “Music” was.

Horrible experiencia.

The only thing I can say about this is that I listened to this out of the 1,001 albums before I die. That’s about all I can say. Prefer her earlier stuff.

So dance pop is totally not my thing. I hate the overproduction of this album. I hate the terrible autotune that's on most (all?) songs. There is more to making music than synthesized beats, phased shitty drum sounds, and autotuned vocals. That's like the worst kind of album I can imagine. I do like some of the stuff that Madonna did in the 80s and maybe early 90s but this is pretty unbearable. I was close to giving this album an extra star because I rather enjoyed Gone but then American Pie followed. WTF? I have always hated the original version of that song and this has to be some kind of joke. Like how many people heard this before the album was released and none of them thought to say "You know, Madonna, this really is not something to which you should subject the world"? 1/5

I can see how some people might enjoy the album.

Madonna never had a great voice and her 80s pop wasn’t great, but is classic 80s. The newer stuff is much worse. Could not get through 4 songs

Madonna’s hit or miss for me. She has some great albums and great music, but this one is just so… boring. Not at all like her great synthpop from the 80s, or dancy trip hop Ray of Light released just before this album, or the later disco-esque Confessions on a Dance Floor. Music is just so much lamer than what she's capable of.

The music is so overproduced and loaded up with auto-tune and voice effects that it really could have been sung by anyone at all. In addition, it's enough to listen to the first 30 seconds of any of the tracks and you'll have heard the entire song. The entire endeavor is devoid of any personality. Sure, for Madonna this may be consider re-inventing things. But it's just a switch from manufactured-to-death 80's pop to manufactured-to-death 00's pop. I was prepared to give this 2 stars as most of it is inoffensive background muzak. But then the atrocious American Pie cover hit me like a personal insult.

Not even going to try and listen to this one

jfc

This is the worst one so far. So dated and just a cacophony of sound. The lyrics are on par with Kirk van Houten's "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" I hated every second I had to listen to this.

Not to my taste

Not her best

Thanks to this list I've listened to enough electronic albums to know that there's nothing special about this album other than Madonna released it

I really expected better from such a renowned pop icon. I get that she needs to evolve and change her sound, but Jesus fucking Christ. Half of this album is just boring and repetitive, and when it's not being boring it's just weird experimentation, and not in a good way. And I feel like that album title is trying to compensate for something, because half the songs on this album don't even feel like music. They are just a random assortment of sounds that nobody asked for.

You cannot call this... monstrosity "Music." It is laughably absurd and too 'experimental' for even electronic music today.

"Nobody's Perfect," indeed. This felt formulaic and tired.

I laughed, I cried, I pissed myself. A placeholder album. Low-effort, I’m-it-for-the-paycheck energy I went and listened to Madvillainy upon finishing this one, just so that the day’s listening wasn’t a waste.

This is awful, the cover of American pie is possibly the worst thing I've heard. Such a surprise as the last 2 Madonna albums I got both got 5's. She can clearly sing, but why on earth she decided to (what I assume is) autotune the hell out of her voice is beyond me

is it 1001 albums you must hear before you die, or 1001 albums that make you want to die?

I really hated this.

Really

Expected Madonna on this list as she is renowned, but not this album. Way too much bad autotune and the worst American pie cover ever.

No, it’s not.

This album is absolute garbage. A complete waste of my time to listen too. Demoralizingly terrible music quality, atrociously uninspiring lyrics, disgusting use of digital music editing technology. How on earth did this album qualify in the top 1000? Absurd.

Skipped thru some songs. Didn't like this album at all.

One or two notable songs (as in, I recall them being a big deal on the radio, not that I actually enjoyed them) but overall nothing special with this album.

Boooooooo

I guess I do not like to boogie-woogie

Listened to this in a foul mood and it put me in a worse mood. If it weren’t bad enough, it finishes with a godawful cover of American Pie. Where’s the 80’s Madonna!?

This was a shit album. I remember when this album came out and it was bad then. Not sure why Madonna thought to go auto tune, maybe it is because she knew she couldn't sing. Also the American Pie cover was awful.

Not a big Pop fan of this era, can see the influence. Not for me.

Ooof. Rough listen.

The songs all sound the same, and none of it was interesting at all. 1/5

Serieux wtf. C’est over produit. Sans saveur.mon dieu et le cover the american pie. C’est juste un crime… 1

DNF, absolute garbage, so disappointed in Madonna for this.

Meh

Ali G innit. my memory must be fucked but wasn't madges version of american pie fucking huge when it was released? it's absolutely horrific. as is most of this album.

Presumably fucking shit

Vapid pop with an unpleasant whiff of desperation. Former pop princess tries to keep up with the new kids (Britney et al) by throwing money at her latest album. Hardly headline news Ms Ciccone. Cher did it first, and Kylie was more fun. And that American Pie cover was an abomination.

Yet another ex-1001 album!™ http://1001albumsyoumusthearbeforeyoudie.wikidot.com/album-artists-a-z-ex I liked the opening track for the first 30 seconds, then it was too much. Not a fun listen. Step away from the audio effect buttons! If you want to like Madonna, stick with mid-to-late 80s pop Madonna.

There were some better songs on here than other Madonna stuff we've done. The American Pie cover was atrocious. Gone was an interesting look at her actual singing ability. I Deserve It was pretty good. Overall though this music still sucks.

almost 20 years since Madonna debuted, Madonna was basically replaced by autotuned AI version of herself. The only thing she is good at is keeping herself relevant in media with controversial bullshit. The only song the autotune wasn't as obvious was that cover of American Pie, but let's be honest. That song is equivalent to a war crime.

Rambling? No song felt like anything to me. Not my style and even for this style of music just nothing interesting going on here for me.

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Noone can get away with that American Pie cover.

This was not an enjoyable listen. Over reliant on autotune and techno. One of my least favourite covers of all time to finish the album.

That a cringeworthy cover of one of the most loved songs of all time is probably one of the better songs on this debacle says it all. Madge is the poster child for the history of pop music. Take a black genre, make it palatable for a white audience, rinse and repeat. She has tried to rise above her insipidness by flashing her "edgy" image all over any willing media platform. If you need reminding just how insipid she is, the first two songs feature electronically altered vocals. They're awful but still way better than those songs that feature her natural voice. This is a truly horrid album. But not as bad as Like A Prayer. Nothing is worse than that shit.

Lazy

Too much auto tune was honestly kind of annoying. I would have preferred one of her earlier albums

Generic unimaginative pop.

Did not enjoy, couldn’t make it through album

Feels very manufactured. Definitely 2000s music, feels like music for background without a lot of meaning Some catchy tunes but I dislike the use of auto tune

Quite boring

Testifying that the early 2000s were not a great period in music history

Forgettable, bland, generic pop shit. Not a fan of Madonna, but she has recorded better and more memorable stuff than this.

This album cover really sets you up for a whole different experience than what it gives you lol

Unmemorable, unremarkable. Undeserving of a place in this list.

This is shit, probably the most egregious of the list’s over compensating by adding recent albums in case they become classics

The early 2000s is the all time worst era for popular music, discuss? This album would support the case for the above proposition. 1998's dancy 'Ray of Light' was varied, interesting and decent overall. This takes the dance direction and strips out anything interesting or innovative and replaces it with generic, by-numbers turn-of-the-millenium dance-pop. Mid-paced, repetitive, overproduced, vocoder-heavy, and bland. It sounds incredibly dated and is the sort of thing you would have heard at a rubbish nightclub whilst drinking a blue WKD or Smirnoff Ice. Rating: 1.5/5 Playlist track: Don't Tell Me Date listened: 31/07/23

I'm really unsure about this bc I fucking hated it: the music has aged as well as milk from the year 2000 and the high level of autotune hurts my ears. I don't understand why she would tarnish her career with smth so bad. The cover makes me sick and the ending cover of American Pie is enough to drive anyone to insanity.

God no. Madonna is just awful.

Just not a dance music kind of person I guess

1.5./5. Bad, I thought Madonna was supposed to be good.

Just what I always wanted, an electro-country album from THE material girl trying to act like she rejects materialism. Despite the production team's best efforts at making a solid and interesting accompaniment to the music, Madonna manages to completely stink up the joint. This has all the worst aspects of that bland, saccharine techno that in many ways seemed to define Y2K. It's a shame, because Madonna does have good songs, but none of them are on here. I disappointed parent out of 5 😞

Really tried to like this. Just feels like way too many sounds and effects thrown together.

Sounds like it was made by a 12 year old in garage band

Not one of her best, or one of THE best

Too electronic. Sounds rubbish. Madonna Extremely overrated this is dogshit

Her version of American Pie is one of the worst things I have ever heard. The rest of the album is hohum but fine and if it had stopped before that track it would have been unremarkable.

'Music' was an ok single, but there's nothing much else going for this. 'Nobody's Perfect' is very poor indeed.

ugh, fucking really? I know Madonna has never exactly been thinking man's music, but at least her earlier stuff had fun 80s charm. This just sucks. I remember the first song, and the rest is just as awful. Basic late 90s turd beats (adding vague rock overtones at times) and dumb lyrics about the dancefloor. Fuck off, madge. 1/5.

I hate this. Shitty club backbeats ruin most songs for me.