Journey Complete!
Finisher #426 to complete the list
1089
Albums Rated
3.53
Average Rating
100%
Complete
Bitte Orca
Dirty Projectors
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1950s
Favorite Decade
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207
5-Star Albums
26
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
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Ratings by genre
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Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Darkdancer | 5 | 2.59 | +2.41 |
| Cee-Lo Green... Is The Soul Machine | 5 | 2.66 | +2.34 |
| Music | 5 | 2.68 | +2.32 |
| 90 | 5 | 2.69 | +2.31 |
| Bitte Orca | 5 | 2.69 | +2.31 |
| Lam Toro | 5 | 2.72 | +2.28 |
| Beyond Skin | 5 | 2.77 | +2.23 |
| What's That Noise? | 5 | 2.78 | +2.22 |
| Ananda Shankar | 5 | 2.82 | +2.18 |
| 69 Love Songs | 5 | 2.84 | +2.16 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Led Zeppelin II | 1 | 4.12 | -3.12 |
| Californication | 1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
| Superunknown | 1 | 3.66 | -2.66 |
| Ill Communication | 1 | 3.65 | -2.65 |
| Licensed To Ill | 1 | 3.56 | -2.56 |
| Blood Sugar Sex Magik | 1 | 3.51 | -2.51 |
| Paul's Boutique | 1 | 3.47 | -2.47 |
| Hybrid Theory | 1 | 3.38 | -2.38 |
| The Downward Spiral | 1 | 3.35 | -2.35 |
| Made In Japan | 1 | 3.29 | -2.29 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Stevie Wonder | 4 | 4.5 |
| Arcade Fire | 3 | 4.67 |
| Public Enemy | 3 | 4.67 |
| Yeah Yeah Yeahs | 2 | 5 |
| Muddy Waters | 2 | 5 |
| The Specials | 2 | 5 |
| Adele | 2 | 5 |
| Taylor Swift | 2 | 5 |
| Prince | 3 | 4.33 |
| Beck | 3 | 4.33 |
| Queen | 3 | 4.33 |
| The Who | 5 | 4 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Beastie Boys | 3 | 1 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers | 2 | 1 |
| Public Image Ltd. | 2 | 1.5 |
| Eminem | 2 | 1.5 |
| King Crimson | 2 | 1.5 |
| Pink Floyd | 4 | 2.25 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Stan Getz | 2, 5 |
| Stephen Stills | 2, 5 |
| Iggy Pop | 2, 5 |
| Goldfrapp | 2, 5 |
| Led Zeppelin | 1, 2, 2, 5, 3 |
5-Star Albums (207)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
Stevie Wonder
5/5
"Hi, site admin? Yeah, I just listened to Stevie Wonder's 'Songs in the Key of Life', and I need you to take all of the 5 stars I've given up to this point and just toss those out because those albums don't deserve them anymore."
Apparently this was Stevie's EIGHTEENTH album? Like, I think by the time you hit eighteen you're allowed to start phoning it in a little bit, you know, you've got to be running out of material, right? Not for Stevie Wonder; this magnificent bastard must have gone "Oh, actually, this one's going to be a double album because I'm just that damn creative. Actually, can we squeeze in three MORE songs on an EP and ship them all together? I need to get some of these tracks out of here, they're really cluttering up my house." That's what blows me away; despite the hour forty-five runtime, the songs never grow stale, and not a single track doesn't carry its weight.
There's a scene in the Iliad where Hephaestus crafts a shield for Achilles, and the book spends like four pages detailing the intricate scenes that the God of the Forge is able to shape into this shield. Problem is, you'll never see that god-crafted shield, and words will never be able to adequately describe its divine beauty.
With that in mind: you *can* listen to this album.
6 out of 5 stars.
98 likes
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
Base score: 5 stars. This was an excellently crafted and performed album that undoubtedly succeeded in its intentions.
PERSONAL BIAS DEDUCTIONS:
I do not enjoy the Chili Peppers' sound: –1 star
The 73-minute runtime subjected me to the equivalent of two albums' worth of Chili Peppers content: –1 star
I already hated the song "Suck My Kiss" and never wanted to hear it again: –1 star
I already hated the song "Give It Away" and never wanted to hear it again: –1 star
Oof, that's a shame. I really would have loved this album if everything about it was different.
79 likes
Chicago
3/5
"Hey, this is a pretty solid album so far, I'm really enjoying it. I sure hope they don't do something stupid like put in a seven-minute-long track of a single screeching, cringe-inducing guitar halfway through."
67 likes
2/5
I saw a few reviews wonder what it must feel like to come into this album cold, to listen to it with fresh ears in today's musical landscape without it having been an ever-present fixture in one's life.
Hey, I'm your guy. I was born in '88. The only Beatles song I can confidently claim to have listened to the whole way through prior to starting this project was "Twist and Shout", which, upon only just now thinking to look into it, was actually a cover. They don't come any denser than me.
The eponymous intro track is a perfectly bombastic mixture of rock and orchestral that really sells the idea that this album is going to be masterful. That the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is going to be an experience. It's excellent, and sends you straight into the next track on a huge high. I straight-up love this strategy.
The first true track in question is "With a Little Help From My Friends". To me, this felt like the kind of cute, feel-good ditty you would find to close OUT the show. What is it doing here, smack at the beginning? Tonally, it's a little jarring from the solid intro that pitched to us the notion that we'd be listening to a well-oiled machine; but by itself, it's not necessarily a portent of ill omen. This could still potentially work as an opener.
But "Lucy in the Sky" is next, and here is where things are looking rough. The chorus is repetitive and musically inert, and probably isn't the focus of the song. The verses have a psychedelic bent to them, and this is my hangup. 166 album ratings in, and the 60s as a decade is sitting a solid 0.68 points below my second-lowest-rated era. It's the only decade that falls below a 3-star average for me, and this right here is why. I don't understand what is supposed to be appealing about psychedelia. Is this because I've never done drugs? Is that the key that would unlock an entire musical generation for me?
That is followed up by "Getting Better", which is rather appropriately-named, because this is more of a return to their roots and is actually pleasant to listen to. That said, it's also a fluff piece, hands-down.
"Fixing a Hole" has a good guitar riff, actually, although I didn't notice it right away. That's about the best I can say for it; otherwise it's basically filler. "She's Leaving Home" would really be a perfect track to mellow us out... except we haven't been amped up since the intro, so it's not accomplishing anything here.
Er, now hang on, that's a point. Wasn't I sold an experience? Because from my point of view, after that intro faded out, nothing has truly landed for me so far. We're halfway in already, and every single song has either been put sorely out of place, or should be functioning as the glue that would string along and prop up the memorable tracks—which are inexplicably absent.
The rest of the album plays on in a similar manner; I'm already checked out, and that was supposed to be the GOOD half. Eventually, the Club Band reprise outro comes crashing in, acting like that was a hell of a show you just heard. Honestly, it's so confident in its approach that I could almost imagine it was true. But if you compare the intro/outro to the rest of the album... I don't know. It's discordant; it doesn't match the tone at all; it makes me wonder if the opening and closing act knew what they were opening and closing FOR.
Maybe if my expectations had been different, I could have found more merit here. But the only thing louder than the hype from this album's introduction is the hype from the wall of 5-star reviews, many of which proudly proclaim "What can you say about this album?" But I suppose somebody in that mix should say *something*, because there are still a few dense people like me out there who just don't understand how to appreciate this work.
62 likes
Beastie Boys
1/5
Somebody greatly overestimated how long I'd like to hear a bunch of white kids shout brags at me.
45 likes
1-Star Albums (26)
All Ratings
Q-Tip
5/5
Elvis Presley
3/5
Led Zeppelin
1/5
Prince
4/5
Frank Zappa
2/5
The Stooges
1/5
Funkadelic
4/5
The Stone Roses
5/5
Soul II Soul
4/5
The Young Rascals
3/5
Stereo MC's
4/5
Michael Jackson
4/5
Tortoise
3/5
The White Stripes
3/5
Syd Barrett
4/5
Arctic Monkeys
5/5
Meat Loaf
5/5
The Cure
4/5
Jamiroquai
4/5
MGMT
5/5
Primal Scream
3/5
Lauryn Hill
5/5
Nas
3/5
The The
5/5
Bob Dylan
4/5
Joni Mitchell
3/5
The Divine Comedy
4/5
Buena Vista Social Club
4/5
Steely Dan
3/5
Ice Cube
4/5
Sleater-Kinney
5/5
Fishbone
5/5
The Band
3/5
Fiona Apple
4/5
Alanis Morissette
4/5
Joan Armatrading
5/5
Miles Davis
4/5
The Doors
3/5
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
Public Image Ltd.
2/5
Michael Jackson
3/5
Todd Rundgren
3/5
Joy Division
3/5
Rod Stewart
4/5
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
2/5
Elton John
4/5
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
5/5
Faust
3/5
Beck
4/5
The Gun Club
3/5
Fugazi
4/5
Elliott Smith
4/5
Peter Frampton
4/5
Massive Attack
3/5
Arcade Fire
4/5
Stereolab
3/5
Neil Young
3/5
Queen
5/5
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Stan Getz
2/5
Bossa nova. Kind of old-school swanky, but hard to listen to.
Neil Young
3/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
John Lee Hooker
4/5
Strong blues, "long, hazy summer day" vibes.
Black Sabbath
3/5
Disappointing! War Pigs and Paranoid together made a tremendously strong, energetic start from out the outset, but all my enthusiasm was lost by the time Iron Man came on—at which point the album descended into lyrics that were edgy but shallow, and settled into that unfortunate aimless, rambly guitar/drum combo that seems to have dominated rock in the years prior. An easy five stars if the momentum had carried through, but as it stands, three is being generous.
Recommended season: Winter
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
The Byrds
2/5
The music was... fine, but nothing stood out as remarkable. Currently trying to figure out whether I am more baffled by "Hey Joe (Where You Gonna Go)" or "2-4-2 Fox Trot (The Lear Jet Song)".
Recommended season: Spring
Faith No More
5/5
Wait, you're telling me that Epic is the band's most popular song when it's the biggest dud on this album? I... I don't get it. The rest of the album bangs hard, but Epic completely kills off the early momentum. You slot it into spot four or five on the album, then maybe it works, but it's not a track two. No way.
Five stars despite this ludicrous oversight.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
Eclectic album. Starts off with the slowest, most emotional song, and gets you comfortable with the idea that the rest of the album will carry that catharsis forward. It doesn't; it becomes largely cheery and folksy, dipping back down into more introspective territory occasionally as welcome breaks. It shouldn't work, but it does.
Recommended season: Autumn
The Incredible String Band
3/5
"Hmm, an experimental album from the 60s. I am not going to like this."
It's fine.
It gets a little hard to listen to toward the end, but for the most part, the album maintains direction and melody. Those, alongside the more traditional Celtic underscore, really help; it prevents the experimentality from seeming too indulgent. Still, I don't think I need to listen to it again.
Recommended season: Spring
Björk
5/5
Original, emotional, introspective, magical.
Recommended season: Autumn
M.I.A.
4/5
The songs are a little hit or miss for me, but a solid album overall.
Recommended season: Summer
Morrissey
3/5
Talking Heads
3/5
Talking Heads
3/5
Japan
2/5
Terence Trent D'Arby
4/5
Fatboy Slim
3/5
Pet Shop Boys
4/5
I can't think of a better album if you want to dance and cry at the same time.
Recommended season: Spring
The Temptations
4/5
Hey look, an album from '69 that I actually liked!
Recommended season: Summer
Waylon Jennings
4/5
Caetano Veloso
2/5
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
Sisters Of Mercy
4/5
Soundgarden
1/5
I came into this feeling like I kinda didn't like Soundgarden, but I was mostly basing this off of a dislike of Black Hole Sun. Besides, I've listened to some podcasts lately talk about what the music scene was like in their time—I was a little too young for them—and how influential they were, and I thought, okay, I'll give them a fair shake.
For a little bit there, at the beginning, I thought maybe, just maybe, I was getting it. I thought, yes, this is emotional and strong and *I'm getting it*.
...Problem is, usually when you want to convey emotion, you have an emotion in mind. "Noise" is not an emotion; but eventually, I realized that's what I was being given. The rock was too aggressive to be melancholic, but not aggressive enough to be angry. It's right in a vague middle ground that says "I want to be heard but I don't actually have anything to say."
So now I am, in fact, feeling an emotion, which is "pissed off at Soundgarden", because these angsty, entitled, self-indulgent creeps decided we needed to hear this whiny, single-note noise for over *an hour*? No. You're not as important as you think you are. Take your rambly 6-minute-long songs and get over yourselves.
And stay out of my birthday, too. You picked the wrong day to mess with me.
Jethro Tull
4/5
David Holmes
2/5
Pro tip: If you're copy-pasting the same rhythm to make up the majority of the track, then it probably doesn't need to be 7 minutes long.
Sufjan Stevens
5/5
I recognize there is some hypocrisy in praising this album when it hits a lot of the same criteria that I nailed Soundgarden to the wall for just last week, not to mention all the "psychedelic" rock I've lost patience with. Album longer than it needs to be? Probably. Tracks that run well past five minutes without much tonal distinction? Sure. Lyrics that are trying to be deep, but don't seem sincere? Very objective, but I could see it.
I can't tell you what the difference is here. Maybe it's the exceptional production. Maybe it's the track titles that inject the perfect amount of levity and bring you in on the joke. Maybe it's more palatable to my Millennial tastes, alongside a recognition that maybe rock isn't an appropriate genre for every application. Whatever the case, this album worked hard for me.
Leonard Cohen
4/5
I get the criticism. Like many others, I didn't think too highly of the music or the lyrics.
But there will come a time—it wasn't today, but it will be some day, maybe even years from now—when I am going to need this album, and only this album will do. On that day... it will be perfect.
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Franz Ferdinand
5/5
Fun Lovin' Criminals
4/5
Tina Turner
4/5
Nirvana
2/5
Randy Newman
3/5
Stevie Wonder
5/5
"Hi, site admin? Yeah, I just listened to Stevie Wonder's 'Songs in the Key of Life', and I need you to take all of the 5 stars I've given up to this point and just toss those out because those albums don't deserve them anymore."
Apparently this was Stevie's EIGHTEENTH album? Like, I think by the time you hit eighteen you're allowed to start phoning it in a little bit, you know, you've got to be running out of material, right? Not for Stevie Wonder; this magnificent bastard must have gone "Oh, actually, this one's going to be a double album because I'm just that damn creative. Actually, can we squeeze in three MORE songs on an EP and ship them all together? I need to get some of these tracks out of here, they're really cluttering up my house." That's what blows me away; despite the hour forty-five runtime, the songs never grow stale, and not a single track doesn't carry its weight.
There's a scene in the Iliad where Hephaestus crafts a shield for Achilles, and the book spends like four pages detailing the intricate scenes that the God of the Forge is able to shape into this shield. Problem is, you'll never see that god-crafted shield, and words will never be able to adequately describe its divine beauty.
With that in mind: you *can* listen to this album.
6 out of 5 stars.
Pink Floyd
3/5
Emmylou Harris
4/5
Leonard Cohen
3/5
R.E.M.
5/5
The The
3/5
Garbage
5/5
Super Furry Animals
4/5
Minutemen
3/5
Fleetwood Mac
3/5
Buffalo Springfield
3/5
Talking Heads
2/5
Janis Joplin
5/5
Nine Inch Nails
1/5
Yes
4/5
4/5
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5/5
Tim Buckley
3/5
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
Heaven 17
4/5
5/5
Simple Minds
3/5
Gang Starr
4/5
Kate Bush
3/5
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
5/5
The Chemical Brothers
4/5
Burning Spear
3/5
Arrested Development
4/5
Gary Numan
3/5
Radiohead
3/5
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Cat Stevens
3/5
Wild Beasts
4/5
Chicago
3/5
"Hey, this is a pretty solid album so far, I'm really enjoying it. I sure hope they don't do something stupid like put in a seven-minute-long track of a single screeching, cringe-inducing guitar halfway through."
Talking Heads
4/5
"Oh come on! This is the fourth Talking Heads album I've rolled in two months. I didn't like any of the other ones, why would I like this one."
...Damn it. This album is legitimately good.
UGH I mean everything about this is smart and intentional and well-executed. Everything. This album needed to exist and it deserves to be as influential as it was.
Still, though. Damn it. I'm angry at how good this is. Argh.
Van Halen
4/5
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Nico
4/5
Tricky
3/5
The Smashing Pumpkins
3/5
Thundercat
4/5
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
4/5
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5/5
Gotan Project
3/5
Janelle Monáe
5/5
Truly, the greatest tragedy here is that this album was generated for me on Friday, and for an entire weekend I was cursed with the knowledge of how amazing this album is; and yet anybody who happened across my stats page would pity me for either never having experienced it, or for not recognizing it as a masterpiece.
At last, Monday has come, and my anxiety can finally be dispelled.
The Beach Boys
3/5
George Jones
3/5
Ministry
1/5
Listen to the monologue at the beginning of "Jesus Built My Hotrod". They chose not to use a pop filter on the microphone when they recorded it. That had to be deliberate; nobody in the audio industry would make that mistake. That means that this album was intentionally created to be difficult to listen to.
Good job guys, you pulled it off.
Pixies
3/5
N.W.A.
5/5
Jungle Brothers
2/5
An hour-long album was a bad call here. You trim off the twenty minutes of fat that is monotonous beats and shallow rhymes, you'd have something truly tight.
Dizzee Rascal
2/5
Tom Waits
4/5
The Temptations
4/5
Pet Shop Boys
3/5
David Gray
3/5
James Brown
4/5
Motörhead
3/5
Joy Division
4/5
Beastie Boys
1/5
The word that came to mind as I listened to this album was "juvenile". Which, yes, is an oversimplification; but the mental image I was left with was of a group of kids who broke into a studio at night and made it to the recording booth—which they never expected to pull off, and thus didn't have a plan when they actually made it that far.
Maybe this would have landed if I'd heard it when I was 14 or so, but that only furthers my point. Now, some people will be quick to point out that the tone was intended to be farcical or done as parody; but comedy as an art form can be hit-and-miss, and it ages very quickly—parody doubly so.
In the end, any brilliance in the mashup of genres or talent in sampling is vastly overshadowed by unimpressive-at-best lyrics that grow grating through the constant shouting.
Led Zeppelin
2/5
This must have fallen victim to the "Seinfeld is Unfunny" phenomenon; it was something so influential in its time that everything else aimed to emulate it, and now it just sounds like the most generic Classic Rock ever.
I guess we Millennials are killing Classic Rock then too. Anyway it was fine, but I'm docking a star because it wasn't fine enough to merit the double album length.
Alice Cooper
3/5
Leonard Cohen
5/5
Wow. This was truly an experience.
I'm glad I already rolled a couple of Cohen's earliest albums before I got this one. I hadn't found either particularly remarkable, but having heard them made "You Want It Darker" all the sweeter. Cohen had grown better with time, apparently; his music was now more varied, yet more cohesive; his lyrics were finally engaging; even his voice grizzled into a seductive register that perfectly matched the tone.
And the end result: this album—his final album—the story of a weary, bitter man, who is finally confronting the mistakes that have haunted him all his life. He doesn't demand your sympathy; he doesn't even want it. But you give it to him, because you're still human, after all; and then it's over, and he's gone, and somehow you feel both entirely empty and overwhelmingly full.
I'm going to need some more time to mentally process this one. But that's okay. It's going to stick with me the rest of my life, and I'm perfectly happy for it to do so.
The White Stripes
3/5
Beatles
3/5
Jane's Addiction
3/5
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
4/5
Big Star
2/5
2/5
I saw a few reviews wonder what it must feel like to come into this album cold, to listen to it with fresh ears in today's musical landscape without it having been an ever-present fixture in one's life.
Hey, I'm your guy. I was born in '88. The only Beatles song I can confidently claim to have listened to the whole way through prior to starting this project was "Twist and Shout", which, upon only just now thinking to look into it, was actually a cover. They don't come any denser than me.
The eponymous intro track is a perfectly bombastic mixture of rock and orchestral that really sells the idea that this album is going to be masterful. That the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is going to be an experience. It's excellent, and sends you straight into the next track on a huge high. I straight-up love this strategy.
The first true track in question is "With a Little Help From My Friends". To me, this felt like the kind of cute, feel-good ditty you would find to close OUT the show. What is it doing here, smack at the beginning? Tonally, it's a little jarring from the solid intro that pitched to us the notion that we'd be listening to a well-oiled machine; but by itself, it's not necessarily a portent of ill omen. This could still potentially work as an opener.
But "Lucy in the Sky" is next, and here is where things are looking rough. The chorus is repetitive and musically inert, and probably isn't the focus of the song. The verses have a psychedelic bent to them, and this is my hangup. 166 album ratings in, and the 60s as a decade is sitting a solid 0.68 points below my second-lowest-rated era. It's the only decade that falls below a 3-star average for me, and this right here is why. I don't understand what is supposed to be appealing about psychedelia. Is this because I've never done drugs? Is that the key that would unlock an entire musical generation for me?
That is followed up by "Getting Better", which is rather appropriately-named, because this is more of a return to their roots and is actually pleasant to listen to. That said, it's also a fluff piece, hands-down.
"Fixing a Hole" has a good guitar riff, actually, although I didn't notice it right away. That's about the best I can say for it; otherwise it's basically filler. "She's Leaving Home" would really be a perfect track to mellow us out... except we haven't been amped up since the intro, so it's not accomplishing anything here.
Er, now hang on, that's a point. Wasn't I sold an experience? Because from my point of view, after that intro faded out, nothing has truly landed for me so far. We're halfway in already, and every single song has either been put sorely out of place, or should be functioning as the glue that would string along and prop up the memorable tracks—which are inexplicably absent.
The rest of the album plays on in a similar manner; I'm already checked out, and that was supposed to be the GOOD half. Eventually, the Club Band reprise outro comes crashing in, acting like that was a hell of a show you just heard. Honestly, it's so confident in its approach that I could almost imagine it was true. But if you compare the intro/outro to the rest of the album... I don't know. It's discordant; it doesn't match the tone at all; it makes me wonder if the opening and closing act knew what they were opening and closing FOR.
Maybe if my expectations had been different, I could have found more merit here. But the only thing louder than the hype from this album's introduction is the hype from the wall of 5-star reviews, many of which proudly proclaim "What can you say about this album?" But I suppose somebody in that mix should say *something*, because there are still a few dense people like me out there who just don't understand how to appreciate this work.
Brian Eno
2/5
The Zombies
3/5
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Michael Jackson
3/5
Can
1/5
A compliment sandwich.
Good: "Tago Mago" is very fun to say.
Bad: I could have used that hour or so to catch up on podcasts.
Good: "Aumgn" is the perfect onomatopoeia for human moaning. I will not speculate why the track needed to contain four minutes of human moaning, because this is supposed to be a compliment.
Depeche Mode
5/5
Depeche Mode knows that if you're going to use "again" to rhyme with a word ending in an "ane" sound, you need to pronounce it "a-GANE". I'd be tempted to give it five stars just for not cocking it up like everybody else.
Thankfully the album is also very good.
Steely Dan
3/5
Muddy Waters
5/5
Bad Brains
3/5
Soft Cell
4/5
My cat didn't really like it, but I did.
The Who
5/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
Jeff Buckley
3/5
The Specials
5/5
Funkadelic
5/5
The Sonics
5/5
Hugh Masekela
5/5
It's another cold Monday morning at the office; but as I sip my tea and put on this album, I'm transported to a place cozy and warm, and my concerns and frustrations with the mundanity of life evaporate as I lose myself in the music.
Metallica
3/5
About a decade ago, a coworker told me there was only one good Metallica song, and I laughed it off.
I never asked which song that was, but I'm starting to think she might have been right anyway.
John Lennon
3/5
Killing Joke
3/5
The Go-Go's
4/5
Iron Maiden
4/5
Sinead O'Connor
3/5
Black Sabbath
3/5
An excellent effort by an average band.
Blur
3/5
LCD Soundsystem
4/5
The Rolling Stones
4/5
The Youngbloods
3/5
George Michael
3/5
Cocteau Twins
4/5
Various Artists
4/5
Bobby Womack
5/5
My wife had a rough holiday weekend, so I'm making sure to treat her right this evening: I've got this album, I've got a dozen roses, and I've got a boxed macaroni and cheese dinner for two.
Serge Gainsbourg
4/5
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
5/5
The Strokes
5/5
Jane's Addiction
3/5
Aerosmith
4/5
Kraftwerk
2/5
CHIC
3/5
Kraftwerk
2/5
David Bowie
4/5
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
FKA twigs
4/5
3/5
The Mamas & The Papas
4/5
The Jesus And Mary Chain
5/5
Grateful Dead
3/5
ABBA
4/5
Fela Kuti
4/5
Rod Stewart
4/5
Deep Purple
1/5
Listen, I like the album version of Highway Star. It's not trying to do anything deep; it just wants to be a face-melting metal classic, and it does it very well. It's fun.
In this live rendition, however, all the joy and spirit they'd put into the recording is gone. This is a shell-less husk of a song, devoid of soul or enthusiasm—and this absence carries through the entire album.
Because what we are listening to is not a band performing for a crowd. It is a band who has showed up for work. It's not difficult to believe that even the sections of endless guitar-wailing and drum solos are scripted, played the same way from show to show as the band autopilots its way through the tour. At one point following a song, the vocalist engages the crowd, but even this is lacking at first; you can actually perceive the moment he mentally reminds himself that the crowd wants him to scream at them, that he needs to give them energy to feed off of.
Maybe it was one of those "you had to be there" kind of things, but nothing in this album is convincing me that going to see a band who is touring, playing the same show over and over for groups of people too large to comprehend, is the best way to experience music.
T. Rex
3/5
Kanye West
4/5
David Bowie
4/5
Aimee Mann
4/5
The Stranglers
4/5
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
Base score: 5 stars. This was an excellently crafted and performed album that undoubtedly succeeded in its intentions.
PERSONAL BIAS DEDUCTIONS:
I do not enjoy the Chili Peppers' sound: –1 star
The 73-minute runtime subjected me to the equivalent of two albums' worth of Chili Peppers content: –1 star
I already hated the song "Suck My Kiss" and never wanted to hear it again: –1 star
I already hated the song "Give It Away" and never wanted to hear it again: –1 star
Oof, that's a shame. I really would have loved this album if everything about it was different.
Finley Quaye
3/5
John Coltrane
5/5
Eminem
2/5
Nirvana
3/5
Billie Holiday
5/5
Ray Charles
4/5
Beach House
5/5
Slipknot
2/5
Look, I don't think this is good music; but if this is what you needed to get you through the tumultuous years of adolescence, then, fine, I'm not going to begrudge you.
But if I finish this project and don't come across a single pop-punk album to satisfy my own angsty teenage nostalgia, then I'm gonna be very unhappy.
The Avalanches
4/5
Beatles
3/5
Half a song in: "Man, this fun, Old Beatles are way better than new Beatles."
Seven songs in: "Wow, all these songs are entirely forgettable, no wonder everybody loves New Beatles."
Elastica
4/5
James Taylor
4/5
Hookworms
5/5
4/5
Dr. Dre
3/5
The Black Crowes
4/5
Somebody get that damn piano part an MVP award for carrying the rest of the album.
Eels
3/5
The Beau Brummels
3/5
Portishead
3/5
Van Halen
5/5
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
Pink Floyd
2/5
This album is like the Mona Lisa: maybe it's an incredible technical and artistic masterpiece, but it's also a little too ugly for me to want to hang in my living room.
Miles Davis
4/5
Nick Drake
5/5
The Prodigy
3/5
10cc
3/5
The Pogues
5/5
Neu!
5/5
Sade
4/5
Elliott Smith
4/5
Turbonegro
4/5
Nightmares On Wax
4/5
Fats Domino
5/5
Yes
3/5
Ghostface Killah
4/5
Beastie Boys
1/5
Somebody greatly overestimated how long I'd like to hear a bunch of white kids shout brags at me.
David Bowie
5/5
Lou Reed
3/5
Tracy Chapman
5/5
Tim Buckley
3/5
Jimi Hendrix
3/5
David Bowie
3/5
Fleet Foxes
5/5
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
Dennis Wilson
5/5
T. Rex
3/5
The Jam
3/5
Rush
4/5
Nick Drake
3/5
Bob Marley & The Wailers
2/5
Van Morrison
3/5
The Cure
3/5
Arcade Fire
5/5
Elbow
4/5
The Louvin Brothers
3/5
Santana
3/5
King Crimson
2/5
Adele
5/5
Aerosmith
4/5
Primal Scream
3/5
Cream
2/5
The Mars Volta
3/5
Fela Kuti
4/5
Astor Piazzolla
3/5
David Crosby
3/5
Def Leppard
3/5
B.B. King
5/5
Michael Kiwanuka
5/5
Country Joe & The Fish
2/5
Bill Evans Trio
5/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
The depictions of violence in this album were legitimately emotionally distressing and I was not prepared for it.
Sigur Rós
5/5
Willie Colón & Rubén Blades
3/5
Buck Owens
3/5
Morrissey
3/5
New York Dolls
5/5
Paul Weller
4/5
Screaming Trees
3/5
3/5
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
4/5
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
2/5
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
5/5
Nick Drake
2/5
Stephen Stills
2/5
Randy Newman
3/5
Willie Nelson
4/5
System Of A Down
2/5
Megadeth
2/5
The Saints
4/5
Linkin Park
1/5
Lorde
5/5
Cheap Trick
3/5
Slint
2/5
Ice T
3/5
Miles Davis
4/5
Dire Straits
3/5
The Pharcyde
2/5
John Grant
5/5
The Crusaders
5/5
Sugar
4/5
My Bloody Valentine
4/5
Beck
5/5
The Jam
3/5
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Fred Neil
3/5
The Prodigy
4/5
AC/DC
4/5
Eagles
3/5
Guns N' Roses
5/5
The Verve
3/5
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
Common
4/5
The Notorious B.I.G.
5/5
Common
3/5
Throbbing Gristle
3/5
"Not as unlistenable as I had expected!"
—Cover quote
I think track 5, "Dead on Arrival", is the one that really solidifies what this album is trying to do. This is when the previously-ungraspable mixing board of sounds coalesces into something melodic, in its own way. The difficulty is, sitting at nearly ten minutes in, it's all too easy to have already checked out by the time it starts up.
Yeah, weird one to rate. I didn't hate it. But if I wanted to listen to music, I'd still go with any of the albums I one-starred before I opted for this.
Manu Chao
3/5
The La's
3/5
Barry Adamson
3/5
Wire
3/5
Rush
4/5
ABBA
5/5
5/5
Spiritualized
4/5
Napalm Death
2/5
Neneh Cherry
3/5
Steely Dan
4/5
Cocteau Twins
5/5
Le Tigre
5/5
Public Enemy
5/5
Paul Revere & The Raiders
4/5
Violent Femmes
5/5
Van Morrison
4/5
Small Faces
3/5
The 13th Floor Elevators
3/5
Wilco
3/5
Cypress Hill
3/5
Travis
4/5
The Charlatans
4/5
Throwing Muses
5/5
The Monkees
3/5
CHIC
5/5
Oasis
4/5
Kraftwerk
4/5
Don McLean
2/5
Can
3/5
The Clash
4/5
Miriam Makeba
4/5
Bob Dylan
4/5
Stevie Wonder
4/5
De La Soul
5/5
The Smiths
3/5
The Last Shadow Puppets
4/5
The Modern Lovers
2/5
Genesis
3/5
Def Leppard
3/5
Living Colour
5/5
Bad Company
4/5
Ray Price
3/5
Justice
4/5
Hanoi Rocks
4/5
Roxy Music
3/5
Otis Redding
5/5
Coldplay
3/5
Love
4/5
The Smiths
4/5
Pulp
4/5
Jimmy Smith
4/5
Ananda Shankar
5/5
Songhoy Blues
5/5
Elvis Costello
4/5
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Daft Punk
4/5
Pet Shop Boys
3/5
David Bowie
3/5
Solange
4/5
Parliament
5/5
Pulp
4/5
Method Man
3/5
I drive a bog-standard Prius and the bass still blew out a couple of my neighbors' windows.
Pink Floyd
3/5
Mudhoney
2/5
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
Jurassic 5
5/5
Ute Lemper
4/5
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
The Stooges
4/5
5/5
Pixies
4/5
Isaac Hayes
4/5
Pantera
2/5
Orbital
3/5
The Who
4/5
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
You could get away with playing this album at your wedding reception and not have to pay the DJ for forty minutes.
Wu-Tang Clan
3/5
Portishead
3/5
Simon & Garfunkel
2/5
OutKast
3/5
Hole
4/5
Dusty Springfield
5/5
3/5
PJ Harvey
2/5
The Chemical Brothers
3/5
The Who
3/5
The Kinks
4/5
The Clash
5/5
Led Zeppelin
2/5
Herbie Hancock
5/5
Big Brother & The Holding Company
3/5
John Cale
3/5
Lucinda Williams
5/5
k.d. lang
5/5
Paul McCartney and Wings
3/5
2Pac
4/5
The Young Gods
1/5
Beatles
3/5
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
The War On Drugs
5/5
Paul Simon
4/5
Carpenters
2/5
PJ Harvey
4/5
Sepultura
2/5
Sister Sledge
4/5
Public Enemy
4/5
SZA
3/5
Minor Threat
3/5
Thelonious Monk
5/5
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
SAULT
3/5
Suede
3/5
Count Basie & His Orchestra
4/5
1/5
I came so close to rating this album 2 stars just so I wouldn't have a blatant anus spoiling my otherwise nice summary page, but I can't in good conscience give this album that high of praise.
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
Madonna
4/5
Sonic Youth
5/5
Raekwon
3/5
Lana Del Rey
4/5
Bob Dylan
4/5
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Belle & Sebastian
5/5
The Killers
5/5
Dr. John
4/5
Metallica
5/5
Yes, Metallica, we're all very impressed with how you gamed the system by using an orchestra to win me over into actually liking this. Take your stupid five stars and go home.
The Who
3/5
Bonnie Raitt
4/5
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Motörhead
3/5
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
Grizzly Bear
4/5
Afrika Bambaataa
4/5
4/5
Tom Waits
3/5
Carole King
5/5
Alice In Chains
2/5
Jacques Brel
3/5
The B-52's
5/5
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
3/5
Bon Jovi
4/5
Butthole Surfers
1/5
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
Machito
4/5
Femi Kuti
4/5
Leonard Cohen
2/5
Leonard Cohen is incredibly divisive, but at least we can all agree that the 80s were a mistake.
Mariah Carey
2/5
Mott The Hoople
2/5
Cornershop
5/5
4/5
The Waterboys
4/5
The Monks
2/5
Green Day
5/5
Me twenty years ago: "This album is so overrated."
Me now: "I need to add all of these songs to my library."
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
Hole
5/5
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Destiny's Child
4/5
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
3/5
Beatles
4/5
The Roots
3/5
Richard Thompson
3/5
Super Furry Animals
3/5
Ice Cube
3/5
Neil Young
2/5
Dire Straits
4/5
3/5
Steely Dan
3/5
The Style Council
4/5
Rage Against The Machine
4/5
Jane Weaver
5/5
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
PJ Harvey
3/5
The Black Keys
4/5
R.E.M.
4/5
Air
3/5
Dwight Yoakam
3/5
Ride
4/5
The Police
5/5
Metallica
2/5
The Slits
4/5
Mj Cole
3/5
Louis Prima
4/5
Björk
4/5
The Kinks
4/5
Germs
2/5
Tom Tom Club
3/5
Ryan Adams
2/5
Kacey Musgraves
3/5
Television
3/5
Air
5/5
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
4/5
TV On The Radio
5/5
The Cure
2/5
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
Booker T. & The MG's
5/5
Missy Elliott
4/5
Weather Report
5/5
Sonic Youth
2/5
Buzzcocks
3/5
Sam Cooke
5/5
Jeff Beck
1/5
Blues for Boomer Dads: The Album
The Byrds
2/5
The Rolling Stones
2/5
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Aretha Franklin
4/5
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
King Crimson
1/5
The Human League
3/5
GZA
3/5
Sarah Vaughan
5/5
Saint Etienne
3/5
Ian Dury
3/5
Tom Waits
2/5
This album is the audio equivalent of ranch dressing. It's a unique flavor and I completely understand why some people would dig it, but I can't imagine a single food where some other topping wouldn't fit way better.
Isaac Hayes
4/5
Merle Haggard
5/5
Solomon Burke
5/5
The Byrds
3/5
The Smiths
3/5
Gene Clark
4/5
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
3/5
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
4/5
The xx
5/5
Antony and the Johnsons
4/5
Tori Amos
5/5
Elvis Presley
4/5
Sonic Youth
2/5
Shivkumar Sharma
4/5
Eminem
1/5
"Wow Eminem, you've been blessed with this great gift! What are you going to do with it?"
"Well, you know, I've thought really hard about this. And I have to say, I'm feeling drawn to produce an album that can only be truly appreciated for what it's worth by teenage boys. Like, right in that 13-15 range? I've always felt that these are the kind of people I truly connect with, and I'd really like to lean into that."
Cyndi Lauper
5/5
The Hives
5/5
Do I understand some of the criticism here? Yes sir I do.
Do I honestly want anything more out of an album than an insanely tight 30 minutes of high-energy rock? No sir, I do not.
Stevie Wonder
4/5
Iggy Pop
2/5
MC Solaar
5/5
Big Star
2/5
This album is the audio equivalent of going to a restaurant named "Top Chef Fine Dining" and ordering a meal called "Taste Bud Explosion" and then being served boxed spaghetti with Ragu from the jar.
The Blue Nile
2/5
The Darkness
5/5
Blondie
4/5
Boards of Canada
2/5
The Lemonheads
3/5
Peter Gabriel
4/5
The Byrds
4/5
Hang on, the Byrds used to be good? What the hell happened?
3/5
Guided By Voices
3/5
Silver Jews
4/5
Dexys Midnight Runners
4/5
The Streets
2/5
This is the least-cool thing I have ever heard.
I think that's supposed to be the point, but it still doesn't make me want to listen to this.
Jazmine Sullivan
3/5
Julian Cope
3/5
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Mercury Rev
4/5
Love
4/5
Is nobody going to talk about how the guy in the center of the album cover was clearly the inspiration for Han Solo?
OutKast
4/5
Brian Eno
3/5
U2
5/5
Laura Nyro
5/5
XTC
3/5
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
5/5
R.E.M.
4/5
Arcade Fire
5/5
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Nanci Griffith
4/5
Meat Puppets
3/5
New Order
4/5
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
4/5
Scott Walker
3/5
Venom
3/5
My Bloody Valentine
3/5
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
4/5
Eric Clapton
4/5
The Kinks
3/5
The Teardrop Explodes
3/5
The Stooges
2/5
Robert Wyatt
2/5
The Fall
2/5
k.d. lang
4/5
Red Snapper
3/5
Jack White
4/5
Drive-By Truckers
3/5
Johnny Cash
4/5
The Police
3/5
Jorge Ben Jor
5/5
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
3/5
Abdullah Ibrahim
5/5
Bob Dylan
4/5
Goldfrapp
2/5
Rufus Wainwright
3/5
The Triffids
3/5
Goldie
4/5
Christine and the Queens
4/5
The Beta Band
2/5
Slipknot
2/5
For something I hated listening to, it wasn't that bad.
The Cramps
4/5
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
Cowboy Junkies
4/5
DJ Shadow
2/5
Traffic
3/5
The Who
5/5
Animal Collective
4/5
Radiohead
2/5
John Martyn
3/5
Morrissey
3/5
The Thrills
4/5
Khaled
4/5
Pretenders
2/5
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
Hawkwind
2/5
Coldcut
5/5
The Verve
4/5
Elvis Costello
5/5
Fugees
3/5
Kate Bush
4/5
Elis Regina
4/5
The Pogues
4/5
Happy Mondays
2/5
Paul McCartney
3/5
Massive Attack
3/5
Robert Wyatt
4/5
Crowded House
3/5
The Doors
3/5
Ramones
5/5
Harry Nilsson
4/5
Iron Maiden
5/5
Beatles
3/5
The KLF
4/5
Little Richard
5/5
Radiohead
3/5
Damn I really dug the first three seconds of this album.
Beastie Boys
1/5
The Beastie Boys are BACK
If it ain't broke DON'T FIX
Pushing THIRTY but still
SHOUTING 'bout OUR DICKS
Beatles
3/5
The Electric Prunes
2/5
Alice Cooper
3/5
CHVRCHES
5/5
Liz Phair
4/5
Grant Lee Buffalo
2/5
Bob Dylan
4/5
Jeru The Damaja
3/5
The Go-Betweens
4/5
Brian Eno
3/5
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
The Libertines
3/5
Simply Red
4/5
Metallica
3/5
Elton John
4/5
Justin Timberlake
4/5
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
The Mothers Of Invention
3/5
Adam & The Ants
2/5
The Residents
1/5
It's too early in the morning for this shit.
Sebadoh
4/5
The xx
4/5
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Pixies
4/5
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Scritti Politti
4/5
Stephen Stills
5/5
Didn't really care for his collab work with Bing Crosby and Ogden Nash, but this album kinda slaps.
Magazine
4/5
Jean-Michel Jarre
4/5
Radiohead
3/5
Björk
4/5
Talvin Singh
3/5
UB40
2/5
You know you're in for a bad time when you check your progress after what feels like 45 minutes just to find that you're only halfway through track two.
The Everly Brothers
4/5
Sepultura
2/5
Queen Latifah
5/5
Incredible Bongo Band
4/5
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Bland-ass classic rock rips off REM to stay relevant
Deerhunter
3/5
Pearl Jam
3/5
The Allman Brothers Band
4/5
Slade
4/5
808 State
5/5
You threw enough British electronic albums at me, I was bound to like one of them eventually.
The Coral
4/5
Frank Ocean
4/5
The Flaming Lips
3/5
Ozomatli
5/5
The Dictators
2/5
Bold debut album strategy to make the listeners think you've exhausted all your original content by track two.
Peter Gabriel
3/5
Marty Robbins
3/5
Madness
3/5
Kings of Leon
3/5
Dion
3/5
The White Stripes
5/5
Dr. Octagon
4/5
Dolly Parton
4/5
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
Goldfrapp
5/5
Quicksilver Messenger Service
2/5
I have, at this point, completed 730 albums.
Long gone are the days where each morning provided promise of something exciting and new.
I now trudge blindly through the endless desert sands of indistinguishable guitar riffs, noodled by equally-indistinguishable men, that dominated the late 60s and early 70s. I hear nothing. I feel nothing.
I yearn for water.
But there is only Happy Trails.
Joe Ely
4/5
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
4/5
Ray Charles
4/5
Keith Jarrett
5/5
Roni Size
2/5
Bee Gees
3/5
Culture Club
3/5
Paul Simon
2/5
Röyksopp
3/5
Supergrass
3/5
Dirty Projectors
5/5
Stan Getz
5/5
The Beach Boys
4/5
Badly Drawn Boy
4/5
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
2/5
Sonic Youth
3/5
Snoop Dogg
3/5
Suzanne Vega
5/5
Happy Mondays
4/5
Tom Waits
2/5
Marilyn Manson
2/5
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
Einstürzende Neubauten
1/5
Emmylou Harris
3/5
Deep Purple
3/5
Gil Scott-Heron
4/5
Christina Aguilera
3/5
Queen
3/5
Madonna
5/5
I played this during my morning commute and now I am SO HYPED for writing INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIAL for SOFTWARE
M.I.A.
3/5
Lightning Bolt
2/5
Sometimes I get too busy to really focus on listening to music, so I appreciate an album that actively encourages me to tune it out.
AC/DC
5/5
Look, all the tracks on the album sounding the exact same is only a *bad* thing when the songs stink.
Shuggie Otis
4/5
David Bowie
2/5
Van Morrison
2/5
Tito Puente
5/5
This is just plain fun, and anybody who is going to be a snob about not liking it is not worth having in your life.
Haircut 100
3/5
Iggy Pop
5/5
Joan Baez
4/5
Gene Clark
3/5
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Billy Bragg
3/5
Mudhoney
3/5
Queens of the Stone Age
3/5
Bauhaus
2/5
Pentangle
3/5
Wilco
4/5
Bebel Gilberto
4/5
Tim Buckley
2/5
N.E.R.D
3/5
Erykah Badu
3/5
Lambchop
2/5
Nina Simone
5/5
Spiritualized
3/5
Britney Spears
4/5
Led Zeppelin
5/5
"Now hang on," I can hear you say. "You rated Led Zeppelin's fourth album 5 stars, but Led Zeppelin II was a 1-star album for you? Are you an absolute lunatic?"
The answer is likely yes, but I can justify it in one sentence: The rest of the band decided to show up.
From what I've gathered, much of Led Zeppelin's strength lies in their guitarist. The first couple albums seemed like little more than excuses to showcase a string of guitar solos. Now, if you're into killer guitar solos, Led Zeppelin is your band. If you're not... well, those albums don't have much else for you.
By the time you get to Led Zeppelin IV, you can tell the rest of the band has figured out where they fit into the picture. That's not to say the stellar guitar work is gone; it still dominates throughout. But now the album feels like it has intention and clarity, and it makes all the difference.
The Undertones
4/5
Taylor Swift
5/5
Aphex Twin
3/5
Devendra Banhart
4/5
Coldplay
4/5
The National
5/5
American Music Club
2/5
Joel, this album really isn't very good, is it?
Dead Kennedys
5/5
Bob Dylan
2/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
4/5
Stevie Wonder
5/5
Roxy Music
3/5
The United States Of America
2/5
Billy Bragg
3/5
Lynyrd Skynyrd
5/5
For somebody who claims not to be into Lynyrd Skynyrd, I sure do like a lot of their songs.
Aerosmith
4/5
Joanna Newsom
4/5
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
The Associates
2/5
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
4/5
Foo Fighters
5/5
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
Marvin Gaye
4/5
Kate Bush
3/5
Bee Gees
4/5
Korn
1/5
Suddenly I understand why all the other boys in my grade were the way they were.
Lupe Fiasco
4/5
Malcolm McLaren
3/5
This feels like what would happen if Microsoft's marketing department produced an album to promote diversity.
Traffic
3/5
Death In Vegas
4/5
Sparks
3/5
Steve Earle
3/5
Blue Cheer
2/5
R.E.M.
3/5
Kings of Leon
3/5
Johnny Cash
3/5
"I wrote a new song that doesn't have any substance and could be about any prison really but you're going to like it anyway because I wrote it for you. Also despite it clearly being the weakest song in the set I'm going to play it twice."
I don't know. The man has a few good off-the-cuff lines between songs, but the crowd seems to be feeding on an energy that isn't being brought by Cash, who sounds like he's just going through the motions. Maybe you just had to be there.
Youssou N'Dour
5/5
Kanye West
5/5
Baaba Maal
4/5
Electric Light Orchestra
5/5
Roxy Music
2/5
The Damned
2/5
The Offspring
4/5
Supergrass
4/5
Green Day
4/5
Thin Lizzy
2/5
The Sugarcubes
5/5
Megadeth
3/5
George Harrison
4/5
Digital Underground
4/5
Taylor Swift
5/5
Doves
3/5
X-Ray Spex
5/5
I'm sorry, is that a PUNK SAXOPHONE?!
Talk about things you never knew you needed in your life...
Ali Farka Touré
4/5
Morrissey
3/5
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3/5
The Vines
3/5
The Sabres Of Paradise
2/5
The Soft Boys
3/5
The Beta Band
3/5
Talk Talk
3/5
Mike Ladd
2/5
Radiohead
3/5
Aretha Franklin
5/5
Moby
4/5
Judas Priest
4/5
Ms. Dynamite
4/5
Elvis Presley
5/5
The Flying Burrito Brothers
3/5
Circle Jerks
3/5
Sure, it was a decent punk album that pretty much gives you what you'd expect.
But at such a short runtime, I had plenty of time left over to tackle another album, so now I'm going to review Diamond Life by Sade, which I also listened to for the first time today. Maybe it's on the 1001 Albums list, but if it's not, it should be. It's silky-smooth 80s pop that relies on the saxophone, but doesn't insist upon it, which is an important distinction. The balance is perfect and makes it a quintessential album for this era without opening itself to parody. 5/5 stars.
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
Basement Jaxx
4/5
Neil Young
3/5
Grateful Dead
3/5
Sabu
3/5
Blood, Sweat & Tears
5/5
Hell, I'm so burnt out on indistinguishable 4-piece rock groups from this era that even if this album was just an hour of some guy playing a mildly-impressive kazoo, I'd still be looking up vinyl prices right now.
LL Cool J
4/5
Boston
5/5
It only now occurs to me, as I'm about to rate an album I've heard so often, maybe I should have taken this opportunity to try listening to literally anything else Boston has done. Whoops.
Suede
2/5
Soft Machine
4/5
Cee Lo Green
5/5
Ella Fitzgerald
5/5
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
3/5
Janet Jackson
4/5
The Zutons
4/5
Bill Callahan
4/5
Sex Pistols
4/5
Nitin Sawhney
5/5
50 Cent
5/5
LCD Soundsystem
4/5
Kid Rock
2/5
This album truly is analogous to America. How on earth could something with so many good ideas behind it turn out so cringey?
Kings of Leon
4/5
The Cult
4/5
Adele
5/5
Joni Mitchell
4/5
The Band
3/5
John Lennon
2/5
Blur
4/5
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Nirvana
4/5
Uh oh. I used to not care for this album when I was younger, but now I actually understand it. I don't like the implications of this.
2/5
Hot Chip
5/5
Koffi Olomide
4/5
The Psychedelic Furs
4/5
Leftfield
4/5
William Orbit
4/5
Kanye West
2/5
Les Rythmes Digitales
5/5
Is it possible that my memory of this album was blurred by my having it on in the background while I took a Covid-induced nap? Perhaps. But damn if it wasn't an amazing nap.
LTJ Bukem
1/5
Maybe one day, years later, they woke up and realized that they spent months of their youth compiling two hours of flavorless and unoriginal beats like it was the greatest thing anyone had ever done, and they pulled it from streaming services out of sheer embarrassment. Have we considered this possibility yet?
The Dandy Warhols
3/5
4/5
Giant Sand
4/5
Fever Ray
5/5
Pere Ubu
3/5
Dolly Parton
4/5
D'Angelo
3/5
Ryan Adams
3/5
Astrud Gilberto
4/5
Big Black
3/5
Brian Eno
2/5
The Magnetic Fields
5/5
Whew, imagine being able to just put out sixty-nine solid bangers all at the same time. Kid Rock couldn't even manage to do one.
4/5
Billy Joel
5/5
Klaxons
4/5
Steve Winwood
5/5
Rufus Wainwright
3/5
4/5
The Shamen
4/5
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
The Cars
4/5
JAY Z
5/5
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
Todd Rundgren
2/5
Tears For Fears
3/5
Eurythmics
4/5
The Pretty Things
2/5
Orange Juice
5/5
Baaba Maal
5/5
Sly & The Family Stone
5/5
Missy Elliott
3/5
3/5
Ash
4/5
Muddy Waters
5/5
Man, if you can't get into some good, old-fashioned blues, I really don't know how to help you.
Sheryl Crow
3/5
Marianne Faithfull
3/5
Maxwell
3/5
Pavement
3/5
Brian Eno
4/5
The Mothers Of Invention
2/5
Little Simz
5/5
Beyoncé
4/5
Depeche Mode
4/5
The Birthday Party
2/5
At 940 albums in, I think it's finally safe to admit to myself that this list isn't going to offer me a history lesson via popular albums that were emblematic of the cultural zeitgeist at their respective times. Instead it's just going to keep giving me slop like this.
Skunk Anansie
5/5
ZZ Top
5/5
Tangerine Dream
4/5
Fiona Apple
5/5
White Denim
5/5
This sounds like it could have been released in the 60s. If it was, I wouldn't have liked it. But since it was released more recently, I like it? Even though it sounds exactly like something from that era? Why am I like this?
Girls Against Boys
4/5
David Bowie
4/5
Genesis
3/5
Public Enemy
5/5
Dusty Springfield
3/5
Moby Grape
4/5
Skepta
4/5
Prefab Sprout
3/5
Fairport Convention
5/5
George Michael
4/5
Orbital
3/5
Charles Mingus
4/5
The Cardigans
4/5
The Bees
5/5
ZZ Top
3/5
Okay, but on the other hand, I could be listening to Sharp-Dressed Man on repeat for fifty minutes.
The Fall
3/5
Lou Reed
2/5
Deep Purple
3/5
John Prine
3/5
Eagles
3/5
The Only Ones
3/5
Lenny Kravitz
5/5
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Deee-Lite
5/5
The Beatles broke up in disgrace after hearing this album
John Martyn
3/5
The Beach Boys
4/5
Duke Ellington
5/5
Beth Orton
5/5
Mylo
3/5
Fairport Convention
4/5
Miles Davis
4/5
Anita Baker
4/5
Django Django
5/5
Milton Nascimento
3/5
TLC
5/5
Calexico
4/5
Pere Ubu
2/5
Suicide
2/5
Crosby, Stills & Nash
3/5
Supertramp
2/5
Joni Mitchell
5/5
Gorillaz
5/5
Queen
5/5
Barry Adamson
3/5
Dagmar Krause
3/5
Gram Parsons
3/5
The Flaming Lips
2/5
Madonna
3/5
Flamin' Groovies
2/5
Aren't I done with this stupid project and all its stupid mediocre rock albums yet
*checks* *994 albums rated* uuuuugghh
The Boo Radleys
3/5
KISS
3/5
Everything But The Girl
5/5
Gang Of Four
3/5
Red Hot Chili Peppers
1/5
Beck
4/5
Shack
3/5
Bert Jansch
5/5
Black Sabbath
2/5
The Auteurs
3/5
The Undertones
3/5
Laibach
3/5
Rocket From The Crypt
3/5
Rahul Dev Burman
3/5
Underworld
4/5
Scissor Sisters
5/5
The Velvet Underground
2/5
The Yardbirds
3/5
Doves
3/5
a-ha
4/5
Patti Smith
4/5
Mekons
4/5
fIREHOSE
3/5
Peter Tosh
3/5
Spacemen 3
3/5
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
2/5
YouTube started playing an Alka-Seltzer ad halfway through and I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be part of the album or not.
Pavement
3/5
Gillian Welch
4/5
Donovan
2/5
Teenage Fanclub
3/5
Pink Floyd
1/5
I'm so tired of the 60s, folks. I'm just so done.
The Byrds
2/5
Kelela
4/5
Willie Nelson
3/5
Björk
3/5
Brian Wilson
4/5
The Fall
3/5
Norah Jones
5/5
The Replacements
3/5
Donald Fagen
4/5
Paul Simon
3/5
Drive Like Jehu
2/5
David Bowie
2/5
Tom Waits
2/5
Prince
5/5
Holger Czukay
2/5
The Divine Comedy
3/5
Os Mutantes
4/5
Fatboy Slim
4/5
Robbie Williams
4/5
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
3/5
The Doors
2/5
Artist sounded a little too much like The Doors for my taste.
Everything But The Girl
3/5
Echo And The Bunnymen
3/5
Christina Aguilera
3/5
Prince
4/5
Hüsker Dü
3/5
The Jesus And Mary Chain
3/5
Johnny Cash
5/5
The Velvet Underground
4/5
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
3/5
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Al Green
4/5
Jerry Lee Lewis
4/5
The Velvet Underground
2/5
Scott Walker
3/5
The entire time I listened to this album I couldn't stop thinking about Roger Moore as James Bond and I can't for the life of me figure out why
Frank Black
3/5
Ali Farka Touré
5/5
The Icarus Line
2/5
Duran Duran
4/5
The Isley Brothers
5/5
Radiohead
3/5
Richard Hawley
3/5
G. Love & Special Sauce
2/5
I think we can all agree that every single aspect of this album—every song, and even down to the cover art—deserves to be remembered as a timeless classic, the truest shining example of this art form.
(yes this is sarcasm)
Incubus
3/5
David Ackles
3/5
Peter Gabriel
3/5
Black Flag
2/5
TV On The Radio
4/5
Amy Winehouse
3/5
The Adverts
2/5
Ravi Shankar
4/5
Slayer
2/5
It's always a good idea to thoroughly rehearse your presentation so that it feels fluid and natural when it's time to perform for others. Here, Slayer is playing through their songs too quickly—a sure sign of nervousness that indicates they were not fully prepared. This makes the songs themselves difficult to understand and is the reason the album finished much earlier than the audience anticipated.
U2
3/5
New Order
4/5
Led Zeppelin
3/5
Sonic Youth
3/5
Mike Oldfield
5/5
3/5
Anthrax
3/5
Iron Butterfly
3/5
The Specials
5/5
Joni Mitchell
4/5