641
Albums Rated
2.88
Average Rating
59%
Complete
448 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
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Rating Timeline
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Ratings by Decade
Which era do you prefer?
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When do you listen?
Taste Profile
1970s
Favorite Decade
Hard-rock
Favorite Genre
other
Top Origin
Harsh
Rater Style
28
5-Star Albums
36
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
Genre Preferences
Ratings by genre
Origin Preferences
Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Broken English | 5 | 2.88 | +2.12 |
| Talking With the Taxman About Poetry | 5 | 2.97 | +2.03 |
| Life's Too Good | 5 | 3.07 | +1.93 |
| Solid Air | 5 | 3.16 | +1.84 |
| The Visitors | 5 | 3.2 | +1.8 |
| Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers | 5 | 3.39 | +1.61 |
| Tusk | 5 | 3.46 | +1.54 |
| American Gothic | 4 | 2.49 | +1.51 |
| Definitely Maybe | 5 | 3.52 | +1.48 |
| Playing With Fire | 4 | 2.54 | +1.46 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ill Communication | 1 | 3.65 | -2.65 |
| So | 1 | 3.55 | -2.55 |
| The Band | 1 | 3.37 | -2.37 |
| The Downward Spiral | 1 | 3.34 | -2.34 |
| Channel Orange | 1 | 3.31 | -2.31 |
| Daydream Nation | 1 | 3.3 | -2.3 |
| Selling England By The Pound | 1 | 3.18 | -2.18 |
| The White Album | 2 | 4.18 | -2.18 |
| Loveless | 1 | 3.17 | -2.17 |
| Drunk | 1 | 3.12 | -2.12 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| AC/DC | 2 | 5 |
| Oasis | 2 | 5 |
| Fleetwood Mac | 2 | 5 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| My Bloody Valentine | 3 | 1 |
| The Fall | 3 | 1.33 |
| Slipknot | 2 | 1.5 |
| Robert Wyatt | 2 | 1.5 |
| Bee Gees | 2 | 1.5 |
| Pet Shop Boys | 2 | 1.5 |
| Sonic Youth | 4 | 2 |
| The Stooges | 3 | 2 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Albums | Variance |
|---|---|---|
| Paul Simon | 2 | 1.5 |
| Peter Gabriel | 3 | 1.25 |
5-Star Albums (28)
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Popular Reviews
The Residents
1/5
To review this album for its musical merit would make about as much intellectual sense as appraising the aftermath of a bloody and horrific car crash for its colour scheme or aesthetic. It would be an insult to all involved.
Instead, I will evaluate this album for the only purpose it can possible be useful for; a method of torture during interrogation:
“Highly effective! If I was subjected to it once more, I would gladly rat out everyone I’ve ever known and loved, just to switch it off - 5 stars”
7 likes
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
Not something I would normally listen to, and with good reason because it was rubbish.
Only song that got anywhere near grabbing my attention was The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts, and even then it was not because it was actually any good but because it was the only track that didn’t sound identical to the others.
Everything from the track names, to the songs, to the album itself is boring, too long, overly complicated, and trying too hard to be clever (haha Illinoise - do you get it?).
This gets a 2 only because it’s not quite as terrible as some others on this list.
7 likes
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
Absolute rubbish! John Lydon’s vocals are excruciatingly bad. The backing music might actually be good for all I know, but John’s incessant caterwauling drowns it all out.
Never heard a worse album in my life, and I’ve listened to Duck Stab.
7 likes
Frank Ocean
1/5
This wasn’t for me at all. I felt nothing while listening except boredom, and disappointment when it failed to end, until I finally felt relief when it was all over.
Even a song about Forrest Gump couldn’t take this to 2 stars.
4 likes
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
A continuation of the 90s trend of quantity not quality when it comes to albums. Boring, dull, dreary. A 2 hour long headache.
3 likes
1-Star Albums (36)
All Ratings
Isaac Hayes
2/5
I didn’t mind this at first, but the 8 minute intro to 19 minute track lost me
The Black Keys
2/5
The Black Keys have a distinctive sound; you instantly know it’s a Black Keys song when one comes on. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to tell which Black Keys song is playing as they all sound identical, which tends to make their albums drag.
I was also disappointed to discover Never Gonna Give You Up wasn’t a cover of the Rick Astley classic.
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
Didn’t mind this, but the album is too long
David Bowie
2/5
It’s comforting to know that even a legend like Bowie had his off-days, most of them while making this album.
Elliott Smith
3/5
A pleasant listen, if a bit dreary.
David Bowie
4/5
Changes and Life On Mars? are great and are the standout songs for me, but I also quite enjoyed Oh! You Pretty Things, Kooks, and Andy Warhol.
The rest of the album can be a bit hit and miss.
The Bees
2/5
Just finished listening and I can’t remember a single track
Public Image Ltd.
3/5
Having previously listened to Metal Box, I came into this fully expecting to hate every second of it, but it wasn’t quite as terrible as I feared, mostly because John spends much more time chanting/speaking than trying to sing.
But what is the point of speaking a poem, a bad poem at that, and then immediately speaking that exact same poem again but over drums and a guitar riff?
Also, I know this probably came across as more profound in 1978, but listening to the religion criticisms in 2024 all I could think of was that “Who’s an edgy boy” meme.
Tom Tom Club
4/5
Wordy Rappinghood and Genius of Love are great, but the rest of the tracks go on a bit too long for me
Prince
3/5
Before listening to this album, I didn’t really get the hype about Prince.
And I still don’t.
Barry Adamson
2/5
Too long, and most of it was uninteresting
Elliott Smith
3/5
Pleasant listen, but not much variety and nothing outstandingly good
Deep Purple
3/5
Good tone and feel to this, but no stand-out tracks for me
The Strokes
3/5
Someday and Last Nite are good, the others are all varying degrees of ok
Beth Orton
2/5
The vocals are great and most of the songs are decent individually, but 58 minutes without much change of tempo or tone left me bored; the end couldn’t come soon enough.
Pass in Time, much like the album as a whole, goes on far too long without justification.
Carpenters
3/5
We’ve Only Just Begun is a great opening track and (They Long To Be) Close To You is a banger, but the Help cover doesn’t add anything to the original and the rest are just ok at best
The Clash
2/5
Pretty disappointed in this one as I like some of their later stuff
Rocket From The Crypt
2/5
It’s never a good sign when you think you’re starting to enjoy the album only to find it has stopped and Spotify is recommending you better music.
This mostly just sounded like noise to me, but Come See, Come Saw was something approaching the vague notion of a decent song.
Neu!
3/5
Quite enjoyed this. It’s not like any other music I know from the 70s
Lauryn Hill
2/5
Just awful. Couldn’t end soon enough
Red Snapper
2/5
Excellent cure for insomnia, but a rubbish album
Alice Cooper
3/5
Before this, the only Alice Cooper songs that I’d heard were School’s Out and Poison, so I was surprised to find this album sounded very different to those. Some interesting elements like the sound of the dentist drill in Unfinished Sweet, and while I quite liked I Love the Dead, there was nothing that I loved.
Pavement
2/5
Meh
Frank Sinatra
3/5
Fairly pleasant and relaxing listen, Frank had a lovely voice. Though a lot of the tracks are very similar and it gets a little boring
CHIC
4/5
What a terrible opening track! Just open with Le Freak! If even half true songs were as good as Le Freak this would be 5 stars
Kraftwerk
4/5
A lot of albums on this list manage to be this weird. I wish more managed to be this good.
Dire Straits
4/5
Money for Nothing has on of the greatest intros of all time, but I prefer the shorter version. 8 minutes is too long. Brothers in Arms, Walk of Life, and So Far Away are all decent too
The Police
3/5
Every Breath You Take is great of course, but I really didn’t care for Mother and the rest were just ok
Gary Numan
3/5
Quite enjoyed Cars, could take or leave the rest
Caetano Veloso
2/5
Didn’t hate this, but I’m very far from loving it
Little Richard
4/5
Great vocals and the songs don’t over stay their welcome
Silver Jews
2/5
This is, without a doubt, one of the best Country albums I’ve ever listened to.
It’s awful. But it’s still one of the best.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5/5
Felt like a solid 4 for most of the album, but American Girl pops up as a late banger to take all 5
Various Artists
3/5
I would not recommend listening to this in March, as I did, but the Xmas songs are decent versions of classics. Not sure I needed to listen to this before dying though
The Monkees
2/5
The Monkees are just a shallow imitation of the Beatles and that’s all they’ll ever be
Sepultura
2/5
Not a fan of this kind of metal that just sounds like angry noise. Give me some melody too, you can do both
Cocteau Twins
3/5
Not unpleasant, but instantly forgettable
Red Hot Chili Peppers
3/5
Californication (song) is ok, but the rest is just meh.
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
Scarborough Fair is good, but nothing else jumped out at me
Beatles
3/5
The Beatles were far from their best here. Norwegian Wood is a personal favourite, but the rest aren’t great.
Elvis Presley
3/5
Blue Suede Shoes is good, but the rest of the album dragged, which is impressive for a 28 minute album
The Young Gods
1/5
Awful.
Eagles
4/5
Take It Easy is an amazing opening track, but unfortunately the rest of the album doesn’t quite live up to this standard
Q-Tip
3/5
Not bad
John Coltrane
3/5
Blessedly short.
Rush
4/5
I was on the fence about this one. I could appreciate the craftsmanship of the songs, the technicality of the drums, the cleverness of the riffs, but it felt like the end products were all less than the sum of their parts.
Then Witch Hunt came on, and for 4 minutes and 45 seconds, I was no longer driving home on a dreary motorway. I was racing against time, against fate, against the forces of evil on a noble and righteous quest. Even the grim dullness of Birmingham could not undo that magic.
MGMT
2/5
Not my cup of tea, but didn’t hate it
Depeche Mode
2/5
If the album had simply been Personal Jesus on repeat for 43 mins, I might have been tempted to give it 4 stars, but the rest of the songs are too repetitive and too long to earn anything above a 2 from me.
The Residents
1/5
To review this album for its musical merit would make about as much intellectual sense as appraising the aftermath of a bloody and horrific car crash for its colour scheme or aesthetic. It would be an insult to all involved.
Instead, I will evaluate this album for the only purpose it can possible be useful for; a method of torture during interrogation:
“Highly effective! If I was subjected to it once more, I would gladly rat out everyone I’ve ever known and loved, just to switch it off - 5 stars”
The Youngbloods
3/5
Pleasant and almost-perfectly listenable; ideal for relaxing to.
However, Black Mountain Breakdown feels out of place, adds nothing, and abruptly ends. This, coupled with the fact there are no real stand-out songs on the album, takes it down to a 3.
The Kinks
4/5
I do enjoy some kinks from time to time…
… and I’m also a fan of the band!
Having said that, most of their songs that I like are not on this album. It’s a solid concept album with a consistent tone/feel all the way through and there was nothing that stuck out as particularly bad. Sunny Afternoon is a great song and almost takes it to 5 stars. Almost.
Depeche Mode
4/5
Surprised how much I liked this one; no single song stands out, but consistently good all the way through. 4 stars.
Frank Ocean
1/5
This wasn’t for me at all. I felt nothing while listening except boredom, and disappointment when it failed to end, until I finally felt relief when it was all over.
Even a song about Forrest Gump couldn’t take this to 2 stars.
Public Image Ltd.
1/5
Absolute rubbish! John Lydon’s vocals are excruciatingly bad. The backing music might actually be good for all I know, but John’s incessant caterwauling drowns it all out.
Never heard a worse album in my life, and I’ve listened to Duck Stab.
The Stooges
2/5
Boring and repetitive. I felt only relief that is was over.
Rod Stewart
4/5
Maggie May is great, the rest aren’t bad.
Hot Chip
3/5
Not my favourite genre, but I didn’t mind this. Started out quite enjoying it, but I was a little bored by the end. Didn’t care for Night and Day.
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Not bad. There was nothing in this that I hated, but nothing that I loved either. Definitely my second favourite Elvis!
Van Halen
4/5
Not a huge fan of Van Halen, but I am a big fan of Jump. Nothing special or terrible about the rest; standard 80s rock.
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
I always get the Smashing Pumpkins and Scouting for Girls mixed up even though they sound nothing alike. After listening to this album, it’s no longer a mystery; they’re utterly forgettable!
Le Tigre
3/5
Something a bit different, without being offensive. Consistent without being too repetitive. I think the vocals lets the rest of the music down, but isn’t too bad. I had to google who Cassavetes is to see what my take is; I don’t have one.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
Not my go-to genre, but a few good songs on this album
Michael Kiwanuka
4/5
I really liked this, particularly I’ve Been Dazed and Hero. The whole things works really well as a whole; the tracks fit together seamlessly.
This almost got my first 5.
Stevie Wonder
3/5
Superstition is a great song, but I wasn’t fussed with the rest.
Merle Haggard
2/5
Country is not a favourite genre of mine, but this wasn’t too bad to listen to. It helps that both the songs and the album are short, but even then I got a little bored after 12 songs that sounded almost identical to one another.
I think I’d enjoy listening to this while driving a combine harvester round the rural bits of GTA:San Andreas, but that’s the only time.
Duke Ellington
2/5
Jazz is a genre of music which peaked at a time when large swathes of its audience, and in all likelihood the musicians themselves, were regularly getting hammered on liquor distilled in bathtubs, and it really shows.
Having said that, I quite enjoyed this, but mainly as background noise. The more I focused on it, the less I liked it. This is music meant to be heard while doing the Charleston in a speak-easy with some flapper girls, not listened to while sat working at a computer.
Ice T
3/5
First Impressions was a funny bit, and while I didn’t really enjoy this for the music, it was definitely entertaining
John Lennon
3/5
Imagine is a good song, even if it has been ruined for me somewhat by those celebrities singing it at the start of the pandemic. The rest of the album is ok, but doesn’t measure up to the Beatles.
Ray Charles
3/5
I really enjoyed I Can’t Stop Loving You, Hey Good Lookin’, and the cover of You Are My Sunshine, which is pretty good version.
Generally, the music was fairly listenable, but Jesus cheer up, Ray! Maybe if you sing about something other than women leaving you or wanting to fuck other guys, they might stick around a bit longer!
Good album to listen to if you’re struggling with a breakup, I guess. Or terrible maybe.
The Stooges
2/5
We Will Fall is way too long and goes nowhere for 10 minutes; completely uninteresting. Most of the songs fail to justify their length, just repeating the same 4 bars, the same riff, and the same vocals. Even the shorter songs like Ann are boring. I Wanna Be Your Dog is by far the best, and it isn’t great!
1969 isn’t even the best song about that year!
Mylo
3/5
I was pleasantly surprised by this and particularly enjoyed Drop the Pressure and In My Arms. While nothing was too offensive, I didn’t care for Destroy Rock & Roll (the track); spoken word in music can be ok, but this was too repetitive and continuous.
Missy Elliott
2/5
If you need to do an intro and frequent interruptions justifying and explaining your album, it’s probably rubbish. If you don’t believe enough in your own art to let it speak for itself, I’m not going to take it seriously.
Also, what’s with the “this is a Missy Elliot exclusive” intro on every song? It’s your album! We know whose fucking song it is!
PS - I agree, fuck Bill O’Reilly
Beatles
5/5
There’s a reason the whole world was totally and completely on the Beatles’ collective dick during the 60s, to borrow a phrase from Ice Tea. There are more good songs on this one album than most bands manage in their entire careers!
Come Together, Something, Octopus’s Garden, and Here Comes The Sun are all great stand-alone tracks. Some of the shorter tracks like Golden Slumbers and Polythene Pam left me wanting me more.
I think the rest of the tracks need to be listened to all together as an album rather than individually because together they’re greater than the sum of their parts!
Gorillaz
2/5
In the 2000s you could add “z” to the end of a word instead of “s” and this would instantly make it the coolest thing ever!
It was a truly cursed time to be alive
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
1/5
Now I know why they call him Skip, because that’s what I’ll be doing if his “music” ever comes up on Spotify again
Beatles
4/5
I prefer long-haired studio Beatles to mop-top touring Beatles, but their early stuff is still pretty good!
Goldfrapp
2/5
A little surreal, but not completely unlistenable.
I started off liking it but it felt at times like I was listening to the soundtrack of a slow paced story-driven exploration game, but with none of the enjoyment of the actual gameplay, like this was meant to compliment something else from the background instead of being the focus of attention.
Or maybe that’s just a way of saying it felt boring and incomplete.
The United States Of America
3/5
I quite enjoyed this.
Not enough to listen to it a second time, but it was at least interesting and original.
T. Rex
4/5
Metal Guru is a personal favourite of mine, but the only other song on the album I’d listened to previously was Telegram Sam. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t enjoy any of it quite as much as Metal Guru, but there wasn’t a single track that I wanted to skip and the whole thing kept my interest until the end.
Green Day
5/5
Every track is enjoyable (apart from maybe All By Myself which didn’t feel in keeping with the rest of the album) but Basket Case and When I Come Around are my favourites.
I don’t think I fully appreciated Green Day back in the day, but I will do so going forward.
Grizzly Bear
2/5
I’ve heard Two Weeks before somewhere, which is no surprise as it’s the best song on the album. I really didn’t care for Dory and most of the rest were either meh or bad.
The Waterboys
4/5
Oh boy, water album! The name may sound like a cough sweet, but it’s my ears that were soothed!
I’ll definitely be listening again, but probably not to the somewhat problematic “And a Bang on the Ear”
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
A little hit and miss for me but I enjoyed North American Scum and All My Friends
Jerry Lee Lewis
3/5
This wasn’t bad as an album and actually sounds pretty good for a live performance, but most of the songs sound too similar to each other. Jerry is a machine that can takes any song and make it sound like Great Balls of Fire.
While there are some covers of good songs, the covers aren’t anywhere near as good as the originals. Also, the whooping growling gets old very fast, but fortunately the album is a short one!
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
I really wanted to like this album and tried to find a reason to give it a higher rating, but just couldn’t. It’s pleasant enough, but it’s not Springsteen at his best.
Motörhead
3/5
Solid rock album and a great live performance, but every song sounds just like Ace of Spades, so it did get a little boring towards the end.
The Pogues
4/5
Quite a lot of variety in this, which at least kept it interesting. Generally enjoyed it, and while it is a Christmas song, Fairytale of New York is genuinely one of the best songs ever in my opinion.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
I wish I could say Banga was a banger, but it’s just ok! Savane and N’Jarou were the tracks I enjoyed the most. Nothing was bad, but nothing was fantastic either.
Jungle Brothers
3/5
Liked this much more than I expected, but that was a low bar to clear. It had a enough variety to keep my interest and prevent me from getting bored, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was glad when it ended.
4/5
Really enjoyed this. Stand out tracks for me are Moonage Daydream, Suffragette City, Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide, and of course Starman.
The intro the Ziggy Stardust is great but the rest of the song doesn’t hold up in my opinion.
The Byrds
2/5
Most of this just sounded like noise, with no comprehensible rhythm or melody
Aphex Twin
2/5
Maybe this stuff was interesting or innovative in the cultural and artistic hellscape that was the 90s. Here in 2024, it’s just boring noises.
Leonard Cohen
3/5
This album made me want to end it all, but in a good way somehow.
AC/DC
5/5
Highway to Hell was the only song on the album that I’d heard before and it is such a strong opener that I expected the album to peak too soon.
However, I was pleasantly surprised to find the rest of the tracks are all just as good, if not even better, and I’ve gained some new favourites in Touch Too Much and Beating Around the Bush
Guns N' Roses
5/5
Welcome to the Jungle
Paradise City
Sweet Child O’Mine
Rocket Queen
What more needs to be said?
Cowboy Junkies
3/5
Not the sort of thing I’d normally listen to, but I found it surprisingly enjoyable
Paul McCartney and Wings
4/5
This album starts with two of my favourite songs of all time in Band On The Run and Jet. Unfortunately, the rest of the songs fail to live up to this promising start; if they had, this would have been an undisputed 5.
The Sabres Of Paradise
2/5
Something a bit different. Not good. But different.
Jean-Michel Jarre
3/5
Not too long and quite enjoyable, if nothing to write home about.
I appreciate that they didn’t feel the need to name the different instrumental pieces anything other than parts 1, 2, etc.
Sufjan Stevens
2/5
Not something I would normally listen to, and with good reason because it was rubbish.
Only song that got anywhere near grabbing my attention was The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts, and even then it was not because it was actually any good but because it was the only track that didn’t sound identical to the others.
Everything from the track names, to the songs, to the album itself is boring, too long, overly complicated, and trying too hard to be clever (haha Illinoise - do you get it?).
This gets a 2 only because it’s not quite as terrible as some others on this list.
The Zombies
3/5
Nice and concise album! Time of the Season is pretty good (which is probably why it’s the only one I’ve heard before) and the rest are ok, but not good enough to earn a 4.
The Prodigy
2/5
“You wouldn’t steal a car…”
David Bowie
3/5
Jean Genie saves this from being a 2. Most of the songs felt incoherent and roughly patched together from the discarded riffs and lyrics of other better songs
A Tribe Called Quest
2/5
The only way to make this album enjoyable is to play a game I call “Which better song is this sampling?”
Slapping someone else’s music over your bad poetry doesn’t make you a musician.
Simple Minds
3/5
Generally enjoyed the overall vibe, but I can’t think of a standout track.
Franz Ferdinand
3/5
Take Me Out was the only song on this album that I had heard before, and no wonder as none of the others match its quality or come anywhere close to doing so. If they had, this might have been a 4.
Supergrass
2/5
This left no impression on me at all.
Johnny Cash
4/5
Short album and even shorter when you consider how much is Johnny Cash working the crowd between songs.
I Walk the Line and A Boy Named Sue are the only ones I properly enjoyed, but the others are ok. I would’ve enjoyed Fulsom Prison Blues if he’d done more of it.
Nine Inch Nails
1/5
Terrible. Just awful. Bravely plumbing new depths of what it means to be really really bad. I mean, at a certain point, you have to hand it to them because you don’t get to sound this bad without trying really hard, so congrats I guess? But I don’t know, maybe next time, and hear me out, you try being deliberately good instead? Just a thought.
PS - well done Johnny Cash for taking this album’s one good song and making it a hundred times better
The Sonics
2/5
The original songs aren’t great and there are much better versions of all the covers
4/5
Tempted to give this a 5 because Starlight, Supermassive Blackhole, and Knights of Cydonia are all bangers, but the rest of the album falls a little flat for me
Peter Frampton
4/5
Had no preconceptions going into this, so was pleasantly surprised. Nothing that I didn’t enjoy, but Show Me The Way and Baby, I Love Your Way were particularly good.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
Christina Aguilera is unquestionably a talented singer with a fantastic voice. I can only begin to imagine how amazing it would be to hear her sing a good song.
Barry Adamson
2/5
The trouble with concept albums is that they’re only ever as good as the concept, and this one was a dud from the very start.
Soundtracks are made to enhance the experience of watching a film, to aid in the storytelling. With no visuals to accompany and no story to tell, it is just a series of sounds and noises. Listening to this was like eating a three course meal comprised entirely of seasoning. Unpleasant and unsatisfying.
Jimmy Smith
3/5
Not usually a fan of jazz, but this was actually quite good. Probably won’t listen to it again though
Einstürzende Neubauten
1/5
I cannot begin to imagine what was going through the minds of the people who made this. Who were they making it for? Who wants to listen to some German guy screaming and moaning for an hour?
Nas
3/5
Actually quite enjoyed this, more than I expected to anyway
A Tribe Called Quest
2/5
This is the second A Tribe Called Quest album I’ve listened to, and this one is just as boring and as formulaic as the first.
Nothing sounded terrible, but there was nothing of interest either. Every track sounds almost identical to next. An hour of whale song would’ve been less of a sedative.
Black Sabbath
4/5
I like Black Sabbath the band.
I like Black Sabbath the album.
I do NOT like Black Sabbath the song; if you’re going to spend 4 minutes on the intro, you better be building to something really good!
Thankfully, after that bad start, the album gets going with The Wizard and never looks back. The songs feels really consistent, like chapters of the same book (which may explain the long intro song), without getting boring or too repetitive. Though some of the guitar solos could’ve been shorter, or just better.
Can’t say I enjoyed it as some of their later stuff, but a great listen if you skip the first song.
The Divine Comedy
2/5
I often criticise albums for being too boring, for the tracks being too similar. This album is a good example of how interesting and varied doesn’t necessarily make something good. Lots of variety of bad here.
OutKast
3/5
I really enjoyed Bombs Over Baghdad, We Luv Deez Hoez, and of course Ms. Jackson. Who can resist saying “ooooh” after “I’m sorry Ms. Jackson”?
Having said that, the album is too long. Cut out 20 minutes of the filler and this would be a 4.
Wilco
2/5
Nothing to say except that I’m thankful it’s over.
Don McLean
4/5
Disappointed to find that the rest of the album is nowhere near as good as American Pie and Vincent, but those two are good enough to earn this a 4
Johnny Cash
3/5
Some very good covers and the theme of death feels very poignant given it is Cash’s last album.
Herbie Hancock
2/5
Not unpleasant to listen to, but boring and uninteresting background noise. There are 4 hour long YouTube videos of logs burning which evoke a stronger emotional reaction.
Radiohead
2/5
Not bad exactly, but I couldn’t find anything that interests me even after multiple listens.
The Birthday Party
2/5
Initially felt like a 1, but this scrapes a 2
Spacemen 3
4/5
Didn’t mind this, relaxing without being boring, which is a tricky line to walk
Joy Division
3/5
Every song on this album goes something like:
- Drums start
- Keyboard adds ambience
- sick guitar comes in
- I start thinking “oh this gonna be good”
- awful, excruciating, out of key vocals totally ruin it.
- and repeat
This is a 5 star instrumental album ruined by the bad singing. I know it’s probably a deliberate artistic decision, but it’s still a bad decision.
Erykah Badu
2/5
The Time I spent listening to this certainly was A Wasted
SAULT
3/5
A lot to like in this, but a lot that is just filler. Too long by about 20 minutes
3/5
I liked the general feel of this without anything standing out
Living Colour
4/5
Cult of Personality is a great opening track, but sadly the rest of the album fails to live up to this early promise.
Jeff Buckley
4/5
I’d previously heard the Hallelujah cover (the cover that all other Hallelujah covers wish they could be), but the rest was completely new to me. I particularly enjoyed Eternal Life, but everything was pleasant to listen to
ZZ Top
3/5
I started off really enjoying this - Gimme All Your Lovin’ and Sharp Dressed Man are both in multiple playlists of mine - but I quite quickly lost interest and enthusiasm; a lot of the songs are very similar and there is little variation of style, sound, or feel. For a relatively short album, this really dragged by the end.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
4/5
Really enjoyed this
The Louvin Brothers
2/5
Not unpleasant, but not enjoyable either
Killing Joke
3/5
Take some punk songs, add some synthesisers, and what do you know you’ve got yourself a post-punk album.
In all seriousness, I feel like I must have sustained some sort of recent head injury that I don’t remember, because not only is this the best post-punk album I ever heard (low bar) but I actually enjoyed it.
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Going into this, I thought I was a Hendrix fan. I’d listened to his most famous songs and I knew from personal experience how difficult it is to replicate his guitar playing.
However, despite listening to this in less-than-ideal circumstances (this album was not created to be listened to while working at on a dreary Monday morning - few albums are I suppose), this album made me realise I had previously only touched the surface of the ocean that is Hendrix; that I was not really a fan, but merely a filthy casual. Well now I’m putting on my Hendrix top hat and my Hendrix tailcoat and beginning my formal Hendrix education.
Shuggie Otis
3/5
Ok, but a little boring
The Who
4/5
I really enjoyed The Ox and My Generation of course. I don’t recommend listening to all bonus tracks that are on the album on Spotify; I accidentally listened to them all because I was driving alone, so didn’t realise it had tripled the length of the original album.
Lynyrd Skynyrd
5/5
This was a solid 4 all the way through, but Free Bird clinches the 5th star. “Lie-Nye-Ard Sky-Nye-Ard” know how to finish an album!
Fela Kuti
3/5
Didn’t mind this
Faith No More
3/5
Fine. War Pigs cover was decent, but not as good as the original.
Miles Davis
2/5
Far too long, unpleasant to listen to and not in a way that’s interesting
Fats Domino
3/5
Nothing to write home about
Talking Heads
3/5
I started really enjoying this around minute 40.
Big Star
4/5
Not too long, nothing bad, a lot that is good, not enough for a 5.
Bill Evans Trio
3/5
I liked the piano. I liked the drums. I really didn’t like the double bass, especially when the solos trying to hit the high notes.
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
Layla is a banger obviously and the rest of the album is decent, but too long and not consistent enough for top marks
Bonnie Raitt
2/5
Sounds the kind of thing they’d have playing in the background of a Hollywood movie as the main character enters a truck stop or something.
The Cure
3/5
Really enjoyed Plainsong, Pictures of You, and Closedown. If the rest of the album was good as those, this review would be 5 stars. The album is too long and really drags by the end. Having said that, it has made me want to listen to more of The Cure
Foo Fighters
3/5
Disappointing. I expected to enjoy this a lot more than I did. Perhaps I prefer their later stuff, or maybe I’ve just never listened to a whole album, so never realised how similar all their songs are, but either way this album did little for me
Talvin Singh
2/5
If the world is sound, please god let it not be these sounds.
Violent Femmes
4/5
I was not aware of this band, but I think I’ve heard Blister In The Sun before somewhere. Really liked the album, especially Add It Up, but the better songs are all in the first half in my opinion.
Van Morrison
3/5
I generally enjoy Van Morrison, and enjoyed this too, but nothing really grabbed my attention; just pleasant background music.
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
4/5
I owe you an apology, Jazz, I wasn’t really familiar with your game.
Miles Davis
3/5
Good music can take you on a journey. This just walks round the same block over and over.
Marvin Gaye
3/5
I get the impression that this album, like a lot of Marvin Gaye’s music, is not intended to be focused on. It’s not designed for that purpose. Instead, it is intended to be background music for a very specific set of activities that are a lot more fun than listening to Marvin Gaye music. It can certainly contribute to a 5 star experience, but not on its own
The Who
5/5
When that first piano chord hits in the Baba O’Riley intro, my soul is rejuvenated, my will to live is renewed, and for one brief moment I am truly content.
The Darkness
4/5
I really like the Darkness. Are they making groundbreaking leaps in musical advancement, pushing the frontiers of human sonic exploration? No. Are they a novelty band parodying a genre of music that went out of fashion decades ago? Yes. Are they a lot of fun? Yes!
I Believe in a Thing Called Love is the standout song and it’s clear why everyone thinks it’s the One Hit by these absolute Wonders, but Love Is Only a Feeling is also a really good power ballad and I love the riff in Black Shuck. Love on the Rocks with No Ice is good, but it doesn’t need to be 6 minutes long, and Holding My Own also over stays its welcome.
Simon & Garfunkel
4/5
I’m not sure I own enough turtlenecks to like this enough to give it a five, but Mrs Robinson is an all time great and the rest of the album is fairly inoffensive and blessedly short so it snatches a four from the jaws of three.
Garbage
3/5
I wanted to dislike this because a bad review for Garbage by Garbage writes itself. Unfortunately, I didn’t mind it. A little repetitive; not a lot of variety of tone or feel, but they do miserable and dreary very well.
The Isley Brothers
4/5
I’d only heard Summer Breeze and That Lady before, and I was pleased to find that all the songs matched both their quality and their feel. The whole
Album is pleasant and relaxing. I imagine some people would find the guitar solos too long, but I’m not those people
Nirvana
3/5
Started off really enjoying Smells Like Teen Spirit and Cone As You Are, but he album quickly goes downhill from there
Skepta
3/5
No idea why this album by a British rapper is called Konnichiwa, and when the title song began with the sound of a gong and what could be either knives or swords I was worried where this was going. Overall, I didn’t mind this.
Buena Vista Social Club
4/5
Not something I would normally listen to, but very enjoyable especially on a sunny day like today
James Brown
2/5
I know live albums aren’t necessarily the best showcase for an artist’s music, but I didn’t enjoy this at all
Country Joe & The Fish
3/5
Much better than the name suggests, but nothing amazing. I probably didn’t take enough drugs to fully appreciate it though.
The Stooges
2/5
One of my personal beliefs when it comes to albums is that the music should sound good. Some might disagree, and those people probably enjoyed Iggy Pop yelling and screeching for 36 minutes, but it’s really not for me.
The Band
3/5
Nothing on here as good as The Weight
Bad Brains
2/5
Not really sure what they were going for with this; seemed like a lot of different styles mashed together badly
The Roots
3/5
I liked The Seed (2.0) and Break You Off (the tracks with singing) and there did seem to be a good level of variation across the entire album, but there’s just too much filler and the album is too long! Water is just noise for about 6 of its 10 minutes to give the most egregious of multiple examples of a song overstaying its welcome.
Van Morrison
4/5
Moondance and Into the Mystic are great, the rest are decent
The The
3/5
Not terrible for a post-punk album
David Ackles
4/5
Felt like I was listening to a musical at times, but the overall experience was pleasant and I liked how each song told a story. I’m not sure when or where I would ever listen to this again, but as a piece of art I have no real criticisms.
Aretha Franklin
4/5
Very good all the way through, I just didn’t quite love it enough to give it a 5
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
I liked a lot of the songs on this album, particularly Little Wing and Castles Made of Sand, but I didn’t love anything enough to justify a 5
Throwing Muses
2/5
Not terrible enough for a 1, but not enjoyable enough for a 3. What do post punk artists have against good vocals?
Peter Gabriel
3/5
I quite liked Through The Wire and Biko, but not enough for a 4
Sarah Vaughan
4/5
Lovely voice, nice vibes, pleasantly short
Kid Rock
1/5
Take the soundtrack to a 70s porno, add a little distortion, and rap over it like an edgy 14 year old bragging about all the sex and drugs he does to his fellow virgins, and, hey presto, you’ve got a Kid Rock song.
Ok, maybe that was a little harsh. He can also auto-tune his way through a generic pickup-truck Country song as well as imitate a pound shop Rage Against the Machine; imagine Killing in the Name, but the bassist has had a stroke and it’s about smoking weed instead of racist cops.
TL:DR: it’s very important to Kid Rock that you know that he:
- smokes weed
- has fucked your mom
- could kick your ass if he wanted to
- has a girlfriend; she just goes to a different school
Muddy Waters
4/5
Can’t say this held my attention, but it made very pleasant background music
Dead Kennedys
3/5
I was new to most of this, having only heard Holiday in Cambodia before.
Theres some interesting political satire on this album and a couple of catchy tunes, particularly Kill the Poor, but I can’t say I loved any of it. I am not the biggest fan of punk though
Metallica
4/5
If you’re already a big Metallica fan, this album is probably great, but I’m not sure it’s the best introduction to them. As someone who just quite likes them, I was initially put off by how long the album is and I was also disappointed to find that Ecstasy of Gold wasn’t a metal cover version, just the original version.
Having said that, I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would. I had to take a break at the halfway point, but I wasn’t simply enduring the album like I expected. My only real criticism is that the guitars aren’t always as clear as I’d have liked, sometimes being drowned out by the orchestra, but that comes with the territory of recording a live performance.
Main takeaway is that I wish I could’ve been there, though I’m not sure 5 year old me was as into metal as I am now
Public Enemy
2/5
Found the constant use of those shrill squeaky noises in the background and all the record scratches very annoying, and I found it hard to focus on anything else once I noticed them. Sampling songs like Flash just made me wish I was listening to something better, which is not to say that Flash is particularly good. The social commentary is commendable and the album is interesting as a piece of musical history; it’s just wasn’t enjoyable for me.
The Cars
5/5
I’d heard My Best Friend’s Girl and Just What I Needed before. They’re both decent songs, but I wouldn’t say they’re favourites of mine, so I went in expecting this to be in the 3-4 range.
I don’t know if it was because I was listening to this on a sunny day while driving along the coast and this just happened to be perfect for that, but this album was great. I’m not sure I’d give any of the songs 5 stars on their own, but the consistency in style and sound while maintaining enough variation to be interesting helped this album to build up to something that was greater than the sun of its parts.
My favourite track was Moving In Stereo, but they’re all good and I will be listening to more Cars in future
Elvis Presley
4/5
It’s hard not to enjoy this era of Elvis Presley. Even though it’s not the sort of music I would normally listen to, his voice is too good not to like it.
MC Solaar
2/5
I can’t speak French, so I’ll let the funky music do the talking. It’s saying: «Arrête de m’écouter! Je suis ennuyeux!»
Neneh Cherry
1/5
I don’t understand how multiple human beings with functioning ears could be involved at every level of the production of this album and then just release it out into the world like this. Did they lose a bet or something?
Eminem
2/5
Some funny moments early on, but the jokes got stale really fast. Would not listen again.
The Smashing Pumpkins
2/5
A continuation of the 90s trend of quantity not quality when it comes to albums. Boring, dull, dreary. A 2 hour long headache.
The Pretty Things
2/5
A couple of decent songs buried under a tonne of garbage
The Electric Prunes
3/5
The music Spotify played after I finished this was so much better than this album
Pixies
2/5
Boring, repetitive, every track sounded identical and none of them were good
Nitin Sawhney
4/5
Found this surprisingly enjoyable. I liked the nuclear bomb / Oppenheimer theme and the music was relaxing without being boring
Steely Dan
4/5
Good overall feeling but no standout tracks
Super Furry Animals
3/5
Felt very discordant and inconsistent
Massive Attack
3/5
Not terrible, but didn’t do anything for me
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Really liked First We Take Manhattan, but the rest of the album is nowhere near as good
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Not sure what it is, but something about Elvis Costello’s voice just grates on me
Metallica
4/5
Didn’t have many of my favourite Metallica songs and it’s a little too long to get a 5
The Chemical Brothers
3/5
Didn’t mind this, but the either the first half is better than the second or I just got bored
Tito Puente
4/5
Consistently good the whole way through
The Velvet Underground
2/5
A lot of this is painful to listen to. That’s an artistic choice, I know, so congratulations on achieving bad music
Pink Floyd
5/5
This took a while to get going, but the song Wish You Were Here is an all time great and the music was enjoyable the whole way through
Wasn’t awful, but I was counting the seconds until it was over
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
3/5
This left almost no impression on me
Keith Jarrett
3/5
Started off really liking this, but it quickly started to sound like a performance intended to be impressive rather than one that sounded good and I was bored by the end of part I.
Alanis Morissette
3/5
This only gets a 3 for not understanding what irony is.
The Fall
1/5
Fascinating historical example of what people thought was good music before health and safety culture drastically reduced the number of severe head injuries
Michael Jackson
3/5
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough is a decent opening track, but it goes on a little too long; I got enough after 3 minutes. The album quickly goes down hill from here unfortunately. Nothing was terrible, but nothing was good either.
King of Pop? More like King of Flops!
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
I was initially torn between a 4 and a 5 so broke the album down by track:
Born in the U.S.A. - YES
Cover Me - ok
Darlington Country - ok
Working on the Highway - ok
Downbound Train - Yes
I’m On Fire - YES
No Surrender - ok
Bobby Jean - Yes
I’m Goin’ Down - ok
Glory Days - Yes
Dancing in the Dark - YES
My Hometown - Yes
On balance, this is a 5
T. Rex
4/5
Hot Love is good, the rest ok
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Wild Horses and Brown Sugar are great, the rest not so much
The Temptations
3/5
Nothing to write home about
M.I.A.
2/5
Started off hating this. Then I quite liked the Mango Pickle Down River. Then I continued hating this.
The didgeridoo saved this from being a 1.
Beastie Boys
3/5
Really not sure what to make of the Beastie Boys; they’re objectively bad, but they don’t seem to take themselves too seriously. Or at least I hope they don’t!
Wouldn’t choose to listen to any of these apart from
No Sleep Till Brooklyn.
Girls Against Boys
2/5
Not my cup of tea at all! Far too dreary and every track sounded too similar. The sort of music teenagers pretend to be into to be edgy before they grow up enough to admit it’s just bad
N.W.A.
3/5
Went on a bit loo long, but I generally didn’t mind this. Varied enough to keep my interest for most of the hour, but I probably won’t listen again.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Distinctive sound and some of it is good. Far too long and in no way justifies its length.
Jack White
3/5
Varied, not too long, nothing unpleasant, but I wouldn’t listen again
Dire Straits
4/5
Almost enjoyed this enough to give it a 5, but it just fell short. I knew Sultans of Swing was a great track going in, but I also liked Wild West End
Sade
3/5
Smooth Operator is a great opening track, but it didn’t really go anywhere from there. Nice and relaxing, but felt like I was listening to multiple versions of the same song over and over.
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
I liked the general vibe, but nothing stood out and I won’t listen again
The Cramps
3/5
Didn’t mind this, but nothing special
Sister Sledge
4/5
He’s the Greatest Dancer and We Are Family are good, the rest are ok.
Johnny Cash
3/5
This was alright. I think I’d have liked it more if I hadn’t already listened to a different prison album from Cash.
Donovan
3/5
I think if I took enough drugs I would love this, but I didn’t and I don’t
The Offspring
3/5
Not really my cup of tea, but it wasn’t terrible
John Grant
3/5
I didn’t really get this. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it just seemed off. During Signourney Weaver I keep expecting him to start singing Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd, they’re so similar. I liked the song Queen of Denmark, but it’s a bit late at 50 minutes to start being good.
Super Furry Animals
3/5
Bit weird, but generally didn’t mind this
Deee-Lite
2/5
I did not care for this one bit. This sounds like it was made on one of those keyboards they give to children that make animal noises
Miles Davis
4/5
Not the biggest fan of jazz, but this was very enjoyable. Not sure if that means it’s good jazz or not.
The Beach Boys
2/5
Even when listening to the better Beach Boys songs, it’s hard to get over the feeling that you’re listening to what conservative parents in the 50s hoped their children would be into. And this album didn’t contain the better Beach Boys songs
Al Green
2/5
This made no impression on me at all. Boring.
Taylor Swift
2/5
Sometimes a great album can sound generic and unoriginal because of how much music since has been influenced by it. This sounded generic and unoriginal in 2014.
PJ Harvey
2/5
Same dreary whaling and gloomy riffs over and over. This isn’t edgy, it’s just boring.
Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart
4/5
I enjoyed this. No tracks stand out in particular, but all were very listenable and each was unique enough to be interesting without seeming out of place. Probably one of the few albums/artists that I would listen to again having never listened to them before.
Ian Dury
1/5
Creepy and bad lyrics, awful vocals, annoying attitude / outlook. The best emotion I felt listening to this was relief when I realised the opening track wasn’t about raping someone while they slept.
Radiohead
4/5
This made me want to listen to more Radiohead. It’s difficult to be this consistently gloomy without being boring
David Bowie
3/5
Very disappointed in this. Only song I liked was the title track, which saves it from being a 2. Tracks like Dense of Doubt and Moss Garden really slowed it down and felt out of place
The Afghan Whigs
4/5
Quite enjoyed this
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
Good all the way through; will definitely listen again
3/5
This was pretty good to begin with, but dragged a little by the end.
Anita Baker
3/5
Sweet Love is a good opener, but the rest of the album is an excellent cure for insomnia
Ramones
2/5
Blitzkrieg Bop is decent, but I didn’t to hear it on repeat for 29 minutes
The Velvet Underground
3/5
Not unpleasant, but nothing stood out other than Pale Blue Eyes, which was pretty good.
Queen
4/5
I was surprised to find this is much heavier and more fantasy themed than some of Queen’s later stuff that I’m more familiar with. Each track follows on nicely from the one before and, while none of the songs are amazing, the album as a whole feels greater than the sum of its parts. Though, I particularly liked Nevermore, White Queen (As It Began), and The March Of The Black Queen.
Björk
3/5
This was not my kind of weird, but I like the concept and can appreciate the artistry in the execution; wouldn’t listen again though
The Avalanches
3/5
Didn’t hate this, but too long and repetitive to be good. It looks like they had fun making the music video to Frontier Psychiatrist. I wish I could say I had fun listening to it
The Specials
3/5
I hadn’t heard of these before, and with good reason, because none of them are great
Love
3/5
Some interesting things in here, but nothing that justifies Revelation. 18 minutes is too long for any song, but this one just doesn’t seem to go anywhere
Van Halen
4/5
Never really been into Van Halen and I don’t know why because it seems right up my street. I can see why Eruption is considered one of the greatest guitar solos of all time, though I personally prefer solos with more melody than speed/technical difficulty. Ice Cream Man and Little Dreamer were my favourites, but enjoyed every song on the album.
Radiohead
3/5
Last time I reviewed a Radiohead album, I said it made me want to listen to more of their music. This album has cured me of that affliction. I have had all the Radiohead I need in my life and more.
The Zutons
3/5
I liked Remember Me and a couple of others almost enough to give this a 4.
Cocteau Twins
3/5
I liked the other worldly feel of this, but could have used a little more variety
Stan Getz
4/5
Nice short album with good vibes all the way through
2/5
Progressive Rock suggests it’s Rock that is better than the Rock that came before, and that is clearly not the case with this album. Progress is an admirable goal, but they fell short here. This is the musical equivalent of Musk trying to build something better than an underground train and ending up with an inefficient taxi service that can only drive one route very slowly. It’s stupid enough trying to reinvent the wheel, but you should at least arrive at something that functions as, you know, a wheel!
Paul Weller
4/5
I’m more familiar with the Jam, but still enjoyed this. Favourite track was All The Pictures On The Wall, but none were bad and most were good.
Elvis Presley
3/5
Fairly standard Elvis. Not bad, but not his best.
David Bowie
4/5
Golden Years and Stay were good, everything else was alright.
Justice
2/5
48 minutes of ear ache. Too many elements that added nothing to each other. The only vocals were whiny and annoying. This wasn’t even an original way of making bad music.
Deep Purple
2/5
Far too long, far too much filler. They took about 10 minutes of good music and then stretched it to over an hour by just messing around with guitar and drum solos, none of which sounded any good. A hard rock album shouldn’t put me to sleep like this one did.
Coldplay
3/5
A little boring, but generally listenable
Nanci Griffith
3/5
I started off really enjoying this, but there was so little variation between songs that I was bored by the end of what is a fairly short album
Manic Street Preachers
4/5
Never really listened to Manic Street Preachers before, but I will listen to more after this
Fatboy Slim
3/5
Not my cup of tea and the album was a bit too long, but Praise You, Right Here Right Now, and Rockafeller Skank we’re pretty good which is probably why I’ve heard them a million times before
Meat Loaf
4/5
So tempted to give this a 5 as Bat Out Of Hell is one of my favourite songs of all time, but the rest of the album just doesn’t quite live up to it. I liked parts of some of the other songs, but none came together as perfectly as the title track does.
Also, the bells in You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth make it sound like a Christmas song.
Kings of Leon
3/5
Nothing terrible in here, but nothing good apart from Talihina Sky either
The Stone Roses
4/5
Listening to this while driving on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I was enjoying it so much I was tempted to give it a 5. But it just didn’t quite hit the same when I re listened while working on the Monday. Fools Gold and Waterfall secure the 4 though.
R.E.M.
3/5
I liked Man On The Moon, but little else
The Icarus Line
2/5
I can see why the record label didn’t bother to promote this.
I have to assume (I do not care enough to actually read the book to find out) that this on the list because sometimes you need to experience the bad to fully appreciate the good.
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
3/5
Too weird for me, to be honest. Can’t say I enjoyed myself, but I didn’t get bored so there’s that.
Death In Vegas
2/5
Soul Auctioneer sounds like a bad Gorillaz song (so, a Gorillaz song), but the rest are just boring
R.E.M.
3/5
Nothing stood out good or bad
DJ Shadow
2/5
Far too long, far too boring. The interference on my car radio was more pleasant to listen to
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Liked a lot of this, but didn’t love anything
Cream
3/5
One good song is more than most bands manage, and that’s exactly how many Cream made. Sunshine Of Your Love earns this a 3.
Fatboy Slim
2/5
Look, I love random noises as much as the next guy…. Ok maybe not as much as Fatboy Slim… but an hour of them is too much
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
2/5
Thought I might enjoy this initially, but the music never went anywhere and stayed in first gear the whole way through. It got very boring very fast.
The Fall
1/5
Why would anyone think this rubbish is worth performing let alone recording is beyond me. Sounding this bad isn’t edgy, or artistic, or meaningful; it’s what you get when a bunch of deluded losers convince themselves their lack of talent is actually something to be proud of.
2/5
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For and With Or Without You are the only decent songs on here and they’re very early on. The whole album could have been about 15 minutes shorter
Patti Smith
2/5
Not interesting and way too pleased with itself
Goldie
1/5
Listened to all 20 minutes of the first track. I am not listening to another 80 minutes of this shit
Arctic Monkeys
4/5
Quite enjoyed this even though it heavily reminds me of the 2000s and I hate the 2000s
Slipknot
2/5
There are no lows and highs to this, just flat, boring, overly distorted riffs and screaming that surely only appeals to edgy teenagers. Distortion is great when used right, but when over used like this it just becomes white noise.
Fever Ray
3/5
I’d really enjoy a story-driven single player rpg with this as a soundtrack, but only because I really like story-driven single player rpgs. I wouldn’t listen to it again otherwise.
Scott Walker
2/5
Couldn’t stand this guy’s voice by the third or fourth track. The album really dragged and I lost count of how many times I hopefully check whether or not I was on the last track only to find the end was nowhere in sight
Cat Stevens
5/5
Enjoyed every song, especially Wild World and Father And Son. A well needed break from slogging through the cesspit of mediocrity that is this list
Jeff Beck
3/5
Pretty standard blues rock for the most part. Didn’t love or hate anything, but I liked the Greensleeves cover.
Tim Buckley
4/5
Enjoyed this more than I expected. More interesting than a lot of singer songwriter stuff. On another day, I might have found the pace a bit boring and the tracks too long, but for whatever reason, this just hit right today
The Rolling Stones
3/5
No stand out tracks, but I like the Stones and I like this more bluesy sound. Didn’t need to be an hour long though.
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
I already knew and liked Three Little Bords and Jamming, but Natural Mystic and The Heathen are new favourites.
All of the tracks were decent, but those were standouts for me.
Laibach
2/5
Started off finding this weird, but fun, however the novelty quickly wore off and then it was just weird
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
I liked People Ain’t No Good, mainly because I recognised it from Shrek 2, but overall this was just boring, boring, boring, with an extra helping of boring on the side. It just drones on and on and on. Each song would be ok on its own, but 50 minutes of them back to back is coma inducing.
The White Stripes
3/5
I liked My Doorbell, but nothing else stood out as either good or unpleasant
Jurassic 5
3/5
More of a Jurassic 3 for me
Brian Eno
3/5
This is an odd one to score. The intention of the album is so different to any others it’s hard to compare; I found it boring, but I guess that’s the point. Also, since this was released, ambient music has become so much more prevalent because of stuff like video games and YouTube that this just seems basic and in no way noteworthy. I don’t know whether to give it credit for helping to define the genre or mark it down for being easily reproducible, so I’m hedging my bets
R.E.M.
3/5
I liked One I Love and End of the World, but the rest either didn’t make an impression on me or were annoying
Love
3/5
A couple of decent tracks on here, but most left no impression at all
Teenage Fanclub
4/5
It took a couple of listens, but I ended up really liking this album, especially The Concept, Star Sign, and Is This Music? I’d never heard of Teenage Fanclub before, but I’ll definitely give more of their stuff a listen after this.
Crosby, Stills & Nash
3/5
Helplessly Hoping was my favourite. I liked elements of Suite: Judy Blue Eyes, but it’s too long. Everything else was ok, but it feels like this kind of music has been done better by other artists.
Arcade Fire
2/5
I don’t think it’s possible to make an album more forgettable than this. Music For Airports was more attention grabbing. Listening to this at times felt like listening to a bad Bruce Springsteen tribute act who for some reason refused to play any of the hits.
The sound quality on this was also awful for an album recorded in the 2000s. Perhaps there’s a reason albums are generally recorded in studios and not churches.
Honestly, literally nothing about this was interesting; It’s not even bad enough to merit a 1.
Paul McCartney
3/5
Listened to this in my partner’s car and it left no impression. Listened to it again using my speakers just to be sure and I enjoyed it way more. Maybe her car’s speakers are shit or maybe I was in a different mood, but it hit completely differently. Every Night and Maybe I’m Amazed were my favourites. Docking a point for the heavy breathing on Kreene-Akrore; that was just unnecessary and unpleasant.
Bauhaus
2/5
Boring, dull, uninteresting, etc.
ZZ Top
3/5
Well at least this was short
Adele
3/5
Rolling in the Deep and Someone Like You are decent, but I did not need to listen to over 40 minutes of break-up music today. She’s got an incredible voice; it’s a shame the music isn’t of the same quality.
Syd Barrett
2/5
Jesus this was a long 37 minutes. I mean, what exactly is supposed to be good or interesting about this? This just sounds like every other guy with an acoustic guitar who can’t sing (I should know, I am one). No wonder Pink Floyd didn’t become successful until after this guy left.
Lucinda Williams
4/5
Didn’t mind this at all. Added some of these to my driving playlist
David Bowie
4/5
Fascination and Fame were my favourites, but I also enjoyed Somebody up There Likes Me probably in large part due to the fact that it was on KDST radio in GTA: San Andreas
Anthrax
3/5
I enjoyed this more than I thought I would, but that was a low bar. This is definitely the best kind of anthrax to be subjected to though.
Drive Like Jehu
1/5
Too long, too bad. Almost earned a 2 at times, but I’m not feeling generous.
Parliament
3/5
This was ok, but the last song just sounded farts
Wilco
2/5
Better than the first song suggested it would be, but too long not to be a slog
2/5
I was going to give this a 3 because it’s short and not terrible, but then that last song, Starship, sucked so much I haven’t give more than a 2
Thelonious Monk
2/5
A two star album, but Thelonious Monk is a five star name
Beck
2/5
I was almost willing to give this a 3, but the last three songs all sucked so much it earned a 2
Jane's Addiction
2/5
There worse ways to spend almost an hour, I suppose, but you at least get paid for most of them. I listened to this for free and Hegel nothing but regret
Nick Drake
4/5
Wasn’t sure first time, but on a second listen I quite enjoyed this, especially and Three Hours and Day Is Done. Might be a bit generous, but this gets a 4,
Lou Reed
4/5
Walk On The Wild Side is enough to earn this a 4, but nothing else on the album struck me as great
Elton John
4/5
This peaked early with Tiny Dancer, but what a peak! I liked the title track and a couple of others, but I’m not sure what Indian Sunset is trying to say; I suspect nothing, which one of the worst things it could say given the subject matter. Apart from that, good album
Richard Hawley
4/5
My my, three good albums in a row! Favourite track was Born Under A Bad Sign, but everything was pleasant enough
Cornershop
2/5
There’s a famous quote from Thomas Edison about not failing 10,000 times, but instead finding 10,000 ways of not making a lightbulb. In that light, I’d like to thank Cornershop for adding to the very long list of ways to not make an album.
Brimful of Asha and the Norwegian Wood cover are ok, but not worth slogging through the rest of the album
Linkin Park
3/5
In The End is good, a few of the others are ok, and there’s a couple that miss the mark completely
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
3/5
2 hours is just far too long to listen to same genre and style of music. I broke it down and listened to each disc separately, but still found both a slog. A lot of the tracks are quite good on their own, but the cumulative experience leaves much to be desired. I respect the idea of collaborating with artists from a different era to bridge the gap between generations, but this was just too much be enjoyable.
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
For the price of an Indian takeaway and a modest number of pints of beer, I could surpass the sonic experience and artistic quality of this album merely by recording the sounds of my sloppy shits splattering across the porcelain walls of my toilet the next day. Yet they spent £250k (in 90s money!) producing something equally crap!
Moby
2/5
I can see why this album has been used in a lot of films and television because the songs fade easily into the background and are nowhere near interesting enough to draw attention away from a plot or performance.
Roxy Music
2/5
“Art Rock” is the polite way of saying “rock that’s too shit to be entertaining, but pretentious enough to pretend that’s deliberate”.
I try to keep my personal opinions of artists out of these reviews, but it is gratifying to learn that Brian Ferry is as bad a musician as he is a father and husband, with vocals and lyrics as stilted as his politics.
Robert Wyatt
2/5
After the first couple of tracks I was thinking “here we go. Another “Art Rock” artist who thinks making music that sounds bad and is unenjoyable to listen to is somehow clever or interesting”.
45 or so minutes later, however, upon reflection I couldn’t help but think that my earlier assessment was 100% spot on. This album was rubbish, saved from being a 1 only by Blues in Bob Minor which I didn’t hate.
Steely Dan
2/5
The only emotion that this album evoked was a constant and nagging desire to listen to something, anything, else
Led Zeppelin
3/5
I wish someone had introduced Led Zeppelin to the concept of editing. Not every song needs to be 8 minutes long, and 45 minutes is a perfectly acceptable length for an album. Sometimes less is more.
This felt like a great album stretched to the length of two. Like butter spread over too much bread. Give me less bread, Robert!
The Charlatans
3/5
Fairly standard Brit pop for the most part. Like listening to Oasis, but without having to hear Liam Gallagher, which is a bonus.
Japan
2/5
Inoffensive, but uninteresting
AC/DC
5/5
My only regret is that I have but 5 stars to give
Abdullah Ibrahim
2/5
I hope the musicians had fun making this because I sure as hell didn’t enjoy listening to it
U2
3/5
“War! What is good for? Background noise while working.” - Edwin Starr
Suede
2/5
I enjoyed some of this, but the album and many of the songs overstayed their welcome. This could have been a decent 40 minute album, but the 19 minutes or so of filler ruined the experience.
5/5
Acoustic melancholic anthem may be all Oasis can do, but they do it really well. Wonderwall, Don’t Look Back In Anger, Champagne Supernova are enough to earn this top marks. They may be overplayed, but there’s a reason they’re overplayed.
Lambchop
2/5
I’ve listened to this album twice now and each time I’ve completely forgotten to write a review. I seem to remember the music being relaxing and pleasant enough, especially while driving at night, but I couldn’t for the life of me name one of the songs or hum even a few notes of one of the melodies. This album slipped off my consciousness like water off a duck’s back, so I can’t give more than a 2.
Thin Lizzy
4/5
I am not a big fan of live recordings. They tend to be overly long and the performances they capture, intended as they are for the enjoyment of those in the room, are rarely as good to listen back to as those perfected in a studio. You have to already be a big fan of the band to even have a chance of liking them.
Luckily, I already like Thin Lizzy and their cheesy bombastic sound is captured excellently on this album. For the reasons above, I can’t give a live album a 5, so this gets 4/4.
Public Enemy
3/5
Oxford English Dictionary defines “album” as “a collection of recordings issued as a single…” - ok, I don’t have anything to say about this one. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it
1/5
Hosting a dinner party with people you absolutely hate and want to get rid of as soon as possible? Put this album on and watch them scramble for the door.
Oh good they actually like it? Run! For the love of god just run! Forget about your belongings, get of there before they turn you into one of them!
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Paint It Black is a great start, but Stupid Girl is bit shit. If you’re going to make a misogynistic song, at least make it a banger! Speaking of, I often song along to Under My Thumb while shaking my head and frowning to show I disagree with it.
Brian Wilson
2/5
I did not get this at all. The random noises, sound effects, and the incessant whoops were just annoying. Every time I started to enjoy a song (which was rare), it would be drowned out by the noises, or a completely different song would suddenly interrupt for a few seconds. Songs that I particularly hated include Barnyard and Vega-Tables. Contrary to the title, this overly long and irritating album did not in fact make me smile
Arcade Fire
3/5
Didn’t really enjoy the last Arcade Fire album on this list, IIRC, but this was alright. Wouldn’t listen to any of the songs again though, apart from Wake Up, which is a banger (also the only one I’d heard before)
Brian Eno
4/5
Look, I’m all for musicians be innovative and inventive, but only when they invent music I like. Luckily, once I got over the weirdness, I actually really liked some of these songs, particularly Help Me Somebody. They weren’t all great, but enough for a 4.
The Notorious B.I.G.
3/5
I liked Big Poppa, I did not like listening to that sloppy blow job
Beatles
3/5
This was ok, but the best songs on the album, Please Mister Postman and Money (That’s What I Want), are both covers that, while good, are no better than the originals. Maybe a necessary stepping stone to greatness, but on its own merits this is just a 3
Tears For Fears
3/5
Shout and Everybody Wants To Rule The World are good, the rest was a bit dull.
Slayer
2/5
Not got long to live and want to make what little time is left to you feel much longer? Then boy do I have the album for you! This short album will make 28 minutes seem like over an hour with this one neat trick: playing the same song over and over and over again. Your early death will seem like a blessing after subjecting yourself to this.
The Fall
2/5
Previously only given 1s to the Fall because … well… they’re dog shit, but this was a little better; I might have even given this a 3 if it hadn’t ended on that Light/Fireworks crap. I suppose liking the sound of your own voice is a prerequisite of becoming a lead vocalist (couldn’t call him a singer), but Jesus does Mark E Smith take that to new levels
Marvin Gaye
3/5
This was fine, but it made me want to go to sleep.
Tortoise
2/5
100% genuine dialogue from the studio during this album:
“Dan, we’ve only come up with 14 minutes of music! How are we going to fill an entire full length album?”
“No need to worry, John. Let’s just repeat what little we have over and over until it’s long enough”
“But won’t that make it boring and repetitive?”
“Not if we just tweak small elements every now and then”
“Couldn’t that still render the album dull and repetitious?”
“Perhaps we could make little changes here and there”
“Doesn’t that risk our music being tedious and monotonous?”
“…”
2/5
This album seems to have really influenced someone at Sony because I kept hearing the PS2 start up noise. Unfortunately that’s the only interesting thing about this album
Deep Purple
4/5
This was pretty good. Strong start with Highway Star and Smoke On The Water seals the 4th star, but there’s not enough for 5.
However, this begs the question, why on earth is Made in Japan on this list when Machine Head is essentially a better, shorter version of the same album?
Paul Simon
5/5
I think you’d have to tie me up and gag me to stop me singing along with You Can Call Me Al. If that was the only good song on the album, I think I’d still have to give it a 4. However, every track is decent, several are great, and despite the variety of styles and genres, it does not feel disjointed; each song feels part of a greater whole.
Judas Priest
4/5
Breaking the Law is a great anthem to play when committing minor crimes, like going out for a second walk during the Covid lockdowns
Can’t say I loved any particular song, but everything was consistent and the album as whole came together nicely; good drums, decent riffs, nothing overstayed it’s welcome, can’t complain.
Travis
3/5
This was fine. A bit dull at times, but generally ok. I liked the hidden bonus track idea even though it doesn’t work for streaming. I imagine that would’ve been cool to discover back in the day
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
I like Creedence and this was pretty good, but I’m knocking a point off for the cover of I Heard It Through The Grapevine. Nowhere near as good as Marvin Gaye’s
Magazine
1/5
Nope, not for me. This punk tendency to emphasise the last syllable of every line is really grating once you notice they all do it
Baaba Maal
2/5
No thanks, found this very boring and repetitive; not enough variation to justify 1hr 12.
50 Cent
3/5
This was ok, but not for me
Yes
2/5
More like No, amirite guys?
Beck
2/5
Too depressing for me! Cheer up, Beck, it wouldn’t kill you to sing a song with some tempo you know!
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
“We’re edgy! We’re different! Our band name is all lowercase!”
Soft As Snow has to be one of the worst songs I’ve ever listened to, possibly ever made. Their ability to plumb new depths of awful music that only the most contemptible twats imaginable could possibly like is the only noteworthy thing about My Bloody Valentine!
I think there’s a phenomenon where some people fool themselves into thinking that because something is difficult to listen to, they must be achieving something by doing so, that it must be worth doing, that it must make them a special little bean who is better than all the people who “just don’t get it”, otherwise what was the fucking point? They just can’t accept that it sounds shit because it is shit and they’ve wasted their time/money. Anyway, bands like My Bloody Valentine survive by feeding off morons like that.
Ryan Adams
2/5
This is fine, but nowhere near interesting enough to justify being over an hour and I think I could have happily died without hearing it. Another example of CD era quantity over quality.
I was just thinking it sounds like the sort of music you’d hear on Scrubs, and Wikipedia has confirmed my suspicions.
The Mamas & The Papas
4/5
12 songs, 34 minutes, yes please! 11 of those 12 are not bad, but California Dreamin’ is great and earns this a 4 all on its own
Dizzee Rascal
2/5
Not for me. I suspect there’s a reason no one outside of the UK gives a shit about grime. At least bonkers wasn’t on this one
Django Django
3/5
This was alright, but I didn’t like the style of the vocals; something about it was quite grating. I liked a lot of the backing music, but that was in spite of the singing for the most part.
The Temptations
3/5
This was enjoyable, but I’ve previously docked Creedence Clearwater Revival a point for a Grapevine cover that’s nowhere near as good as Marvin Gaye’s, so for consistency this is a 3
Marvin Gaye
4/5
If I had a nickel for every song on this album explicitly about “getting it on” I’d have two nickels, which is not a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice
Bee Gees
1/5
Firstly, it’s deeply fucking weird to write a love song about any country, let alone the genocidal ethno-state that is Israel.
That is enough to earn 1 star all by itself, but every single song without exception is a slow dreary ballad with inane lyrics like “Where there’s sand, where there’s beautiful sand yeah”.
Somebody Stop The Music - please.
Iggy Pop
4/5
I didn’t know Bowie wrote some of the songs on this album, no wonder I liked it more than the Stooges stuff. Iggy Pop is still a bit annoying at times, but this is good for the most part.
Ella Fitzgerald
3/5
This made a long drive on a rainy and windy December day a little more pleasant, but I’m not sure there was anything to gain from the second or third hour that you couldn’t get from the first
Kraftwerk
3/5
Ok not as bad as I thought it would be, but Autobahn didn’t need to be over 20 minutes
The KLF
4/5
Surprised to find I really liked this
Creedence Clearwater Revival
5/5
All good, but Green River and Bad Moon Rising are personal favourites of mine
Metallica
4/5
Knew I’d like this going in, as I already love Master of Puppets the song, and I was not disappointed. Favourite song that u hadn’t heard before was Orion
Cypress Hill
3/5
This was alright, reminded me of driving around Los Santos shooting Ballas when I was way too young to be playing GTA
Big Black
2/5
I’m all in favour of artists using their art to broach difficult and dark subjects, but the opening song about child abuse didn’t feel like they had anything interesting to say on the matter; it felt like an edge lord using the subject to be provocative merely for the sake of it. The rest of the lyrics on the album did nothing to dissuade me of that notion.
I found it interesting that they used notched guitar picks though. Well, “interesting” might be too strong a word.
Janis Joplin
2/5
Not terrible, not good, but at least it’s short
Haircut 100
2/5
This did nothing for me. Generic 80s pop.
Buck Owens
2/5
I imagine this is good music to listen to while drinking sad and alone in an American bar, but that’s the only time I think I’d appreciate it
The Band
1/5
The music is terrible, but I’m also suspicious of anyone who writes a song sympathetic to white southerners during the American Civil War. It’s like writing a song about the bravery of the Wehrmacht; there’s only one type of person happy to associate themselves with that side of the conflict. The defence on Wikipedia is also laughable, essentially amounts to “but he’s Canadian” - as if there couldn’t possibly be a racist Canadian.
Portishead
3/5
Very 90s, but not as bad I expected
The Go-Go's
3/5
I’m quite partial to some 80s cheese
Thundercat
1/5
No, just no. What a terrible time 2017 was to be alive.
Iron Maiden
3/5
This was alright, but I prefer their later stuff
k.d. lang
3/5
Pleasant enough, quite relaxing
Television
3/5
Started off enjoying in this, but by the end I was glad it was over
Blondie
4/5
Hanging On The Telephone, One Way Or Another, and Heart of Glass earn this a 4. Rest are ok.
Megadeth
2/5
This didn’t do much for me
Leonard Cohen
3/5
I like the songs he writes, just not the way he sings them
Neil Young
3/5
This was ok, but it’s not Harvest
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
Fine, I guess
Everything But The Girl
2/5
Too long, too 90s, too electronica
Blur
2/5
Lost me with the first track; way too repetitive to be 5 minutes long.
At least the rest of the album was quite varied, but at times it felt like the music was being made for the band’s enjoyment rather than the audience’s.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
I had to listen to it a couple of times, but I really liked this in the end. I’m not sure if it’s an acquired taste or I just wasn’t in the right headspace first time around, but I’m adding a few of these to my regular rotation
Beyoncé
2/5
Bit of a snooze fest this one. Not sure why this one is that on the list when surely Beyoncé has better albums than this
Ozomatli
3/5
This was fine; nothing to love, but nothing to hate either
3/5
This might be the most Country album title of all time. Short enough to save it being a 2
Primal Scream
3/5
Much better than I thought it was going to be when I finished the first song and looked how much was left to go, but I won’t be listening to any of these again
Bee Gees
2/5
Too long, too boring. This guys should really switch genre or something
Otis Redding
2/5
Not terrible, but there are better versions of most of these songs
The Beach Boys
3/5
Wouldn’t It Be Nice, Sloop John B, God Only Knows all good, I didn’t like the rest
Kate Bush
3/5
I like the two Kate Bush songs that everyone likes. Unfortunately they’re not on this album. These songs are a little too weird for me, but she gets points for originality
Bob Dylan
2/5
A lot more rock and roll than I was expecting, which was a pleasant surprise, but the album is too long and I won’t actively seek out any of the songs to listen again.
Sonic Youth
2/5
I absolutely love Creme brûlée! What? The Song? No, of course not!
Giant Sand
2/5
Very long, very dreary, very boring
Joan Armatrading
3/5
Fairly pleasant overall, but no outstanding tracks
Laura Nyro
2/5
Not terrible, but I found her voice quite annoying at times
The Mothers Of Invention
2/5
Well at least it’s a different I guess. Different isn’t always enjoyable though
The Byrds
3/5
This just about gets a 3, mostly because it’s short and bored of giving this albums a 2
Ghostface Killah
3/5
“‘Round the world today, the kilo is a measure,
A kilo is one thousand grams - it’s easy to remember“
This is exactly the sort of wholesome educational content that the youth of America needs to hear more of.
Nick Drake
4/5
Very easy to listen to this. Northern Sky was my favourite, but I enjoyed them all
Incredible Bongo Band
3/5
Accidentally listened to all the bonus tracks and got very bored. But I think I would’ve enjoyed it if I’d stopped after the original tracks.
U2
3/5
Fairly inoffensive, but not something I’d actively listen to
The Byrds
3/5
2 Byrds albums so far and no Turn! Turn! Turn! A solid 3 this.
Brian Eno
3/5
What is it with this guy and air travel? Man’s obsessed.
This was interesting enough to not be boring, but not enough to be remembered.
Saint Etienne
3/5
Not bad, not my cup of tea, but not bad
George Michael
3/5
Freedom is good, but I didn’t care for the rest
Genesis
1/5
I found this really annoying. What do Genesis fans see in this rubbish? If I ever meet one I’ll be sure to ask!
10cc
3/5
Music was ok, some of the lyrics were a bit weird
Kacey Musgraves
4/5
I liked High Horse, Butterflies, and Space Cowboy, and generally enjoyed the overall album sound. No amazing tracks, but a consistent and pleasant feel.
XTC
3/5
Don’t hate this, but it managed to be wowed without being interesting somehow
The Sugarcubes
5/5
Misread this as the Sugababes so I was pleasantly surprised to hear Bjork singing. I liked this a lot more than her later solo stuff; good combination of weirdness and enjoyability
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
I like Springsteen; even the worst songs of his I’ve heard are alright. This was a solid 4, not quite enough to earn a 5
Madonna
2/5
Expected good things from this because I knew I liked the title track going in. Or at least I thought I did. Did it need really need to be almost 6 minutes long? Bohemian Rhapsody is only 14 seconds longer and that has three distinct sections to it, whereas this was just the same verse and chorus on repeat. Unfortunately that initial disappointment was the album at its peak. This turned into a right slog, not a decent track on here. +1 for pissing off the Catholic Church, but this album was dogshit
Grant Lee Buffalo
4/5
Oh wow, an album from the 90s that’s actually good. It must be very chilly in hell and air travel must be a nightmare with all those pigs taking flight.
Never heard of this guy before, but I’ll definitely give some of his other stuff a listen after this.
The Last Shadow Puppets
3/5
“Mum, can we get some Arctic Monkeys?”
“We have Arctic Monkeys at home”
Belle & Sebastian
2/5
Not the worst, but this singing style is a bit annoying after a while.
Missy Elliott
2/5
I listened to this at work and all I can say about the hour spent is “at least I got paid”
Big Star
3/5
This was fine, but I don’t understand why it became a cult album
John Cale
3/5
Meh, short enough to scrape a 3
Beach House
3/5
Not unpleasant, but quite boring
Van Morrison
3/5
I like a bit of Van Morrison. Emphasis on the BIT! 90 minutes is too much! And a live album too! The very best a live album can do is be slightly worse than a mediocre studio album
Marianne Faithfull
5/5
This album didn’t fully grab my attention until the last couple of songs. The backing music on the cover of Working Class Hero really adds something to the John Lennon original that an acoustic guitar just can’t achieve. The intro riff on Why’d Ya Do It slaps you round the ear holes and says “listen up, dickhead” and I’m glad that it does because the track that follows is a new favourite of mine. After these two, I had to go back and listen to the rest of the album and, while these two remain my favourites, the whole album feels like a complete piece that is ahead of its time in a way so-called avant garde try-hards can only dream of
Motörhead
4/5
Pretty good if you like ferocious riffs, blistering solos, and lyrics screamed through a throat worn down by years of booze and cigarettes. Hopefully the lyrics on Jailbait are just tongue in cheek! Not a lot of variety, but what they do, they do well.
George Michael
3/5
The title track was good, but nothing else comes close to being as good or as memorable
Ryan Adams
3/5
This is actually a really clever tribute act because the real Bon Dylan also refuses to play any of his hit songs
Boston
5/5
More Than a Feeling is great, everything else is good. What’s not to like?
Siouxsie And The Banshees
3/5
Not as terrible as some other Post-Punk albums; I even liked a couple of the tracks
Morrissey
3/5
Nothing to love, nothing to hate except Morrissey
Traffic
4/5
What can I say? A folksy acoustic guitar-heavy ballad based on an old poem that talks about murdering a guy to symbolise the beer brewing process just seems laser focused at me and my tastes. Rest of the album is decent too.
Incubus
3/5
“To resist is to piss in the wind
Anyone who does will end up smelling“
Wow. So true…
George Jones
3/5
Seems like the kind of music you listen to while drinking alone after you lost custody of your kids to your ex, but it’s only 28 minutes so it gets a 3
Gillian Welch
2/5
Boring, dreary, dull, dull, dull, depressingly dull
Femi Kuti
3/5
I quite enjoyed this for a while, but 73 minutes is too long. This could have been a 5 if it had been cut to 40 minutes
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
3/5
Quite enjoyed this, but I’m not sure what it adds that the other two Nick Cave albums I’ve already listened to from this list didn’t provide. Fingers crossed there isn’t a 4th!
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Rehab, Tears Dry On Their Own, and the title track are all decent, the rest are fine. Nice short album
ABBA
5/5
I was initially worried by this because, while I’m not a massive ABBA fan, everyone knows at lease a few of their hits, so it seemed ominous that none of these were on this album.
However, this turned out to be a good thing. I much prefer this darker, more political iteration. Two For The Price Of One, Soldiers were my personal favourites, but the whole album was good.
Peter Tosh
3/5
This was fine. Made me think of those cringey people who base their entire personality on smoking weed, but that’s not the album’s fault.
Stereo MC's
3/5
Not unpleasant, but not my cup of tea and 56 minutes is too long!
The Mars Volta
4/5
Quite enjoyed this. I’m not sure if that’s because it’s good or because I was just in a bad mood and this suited that.
Circle Jerks
2/5
Well this a first. I didn’t think I’d ever criticise one of these albums for being too short. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it didn’t go on any longer, but it’s so short because the band must know their music isn’t good enough to hold someone’s attention for longer. Self awareness is good and all, but why not try and maker better music instead of short and and music?
The Go-Betweens
3/5
Didn’t really get this
The Verve
2/5
Well that was an ordeal. No they’re only known for Bitter Sweet Symphony
Ice Cube
2/5
Does Ice Cube think he can taste alcohol through his bladder? Impressive skill of he can. More impressive than his music anyway.
The Boo Radleys
2/5
Some people might say that their reliance on effects is a musical crutch, but I think that’s unfair. A crutch is supposed to actually help; these guys seemed to have been so focussed on sound that they forgot the music part completely. Almost imperceptible vocals followed by deafening guitar screeches do not make for pleasant listening
My Bloody Valentine
1/5
You genuinely hear more interesting and enjoyable music while on hold to the bank.
I honestly don’t have a clue who this is intended for. Who could possibly listen to tracks like Is This And Yes and Nothing Is and feel anything but contempt for the pathetic morons who put these annoying and repetitive sounds out into the world.
Venom
3/5
For a satanic metal album, this really was quite dull. Not terrible to listen to, but I didn’t feel anything but disappointment.
Miriam Makeba
3/5
This was fine. I liked this version of House of the Rising Sun. Generally pleasant, without being amazing.
Eminem
3/5
“Hee hee my mom would be so angry if she knew I was listening to this! I’m so edgy!”
Stan is pretty good though, but mostly because of Dido
Tom Waits
3/5
Pretty boring
Ray Charles
4/5
Good stuff, very easy listening
Rush
3/5
Didn’t enjoy this as much as Moving Pictures (which I now would give a 5). Generally enjoy the sound of Rush, but these songs just didn’t hit the same way.
Also, the use of - what google tells me is called the “Oriental Riff” or “Chinaman Lick” - on A Passage To Bangkok is a bit of a shame and really took me out of what was otherwise a good song
Yes
4/5
Quite enjoyed this, more listenable than a lot of progressive rock. Particularly liked I’ve Seen All Good People or Your Move or whatever it’s called
The Replacements
4/5
A post-punk album that’s actually good!? I mean that’s probably because it sounds nothing like any of the other post-punk albums on this list. Maybe it’s sort of meaningless to cobble all the varied and not so wonderful things punks went on to do once they’d learned how to actually play their instruments into a single genre?
Leonard Cohen
4/5
This gets a 4 because of So Long, Marianne. The rest are ok
B.B. King
5/5
Best live album I’ve heard so far. Good music, great vocals, and nice and short.
The Black Crowes
4/5
Not exactly groundbreaking stuff in 1990, but new doesn’t always mean good and I’d rather listen an album like this than a lot of the “music” released in the cursed decade that followed
Pet Shop Boys
1/5
The Album is too long, the voice is too annoying, the lyrics are too stupid, the backing music over produced and too repetitive.
Megadeth
3/5
This was fine. I don’t get the hype though; it did nothing for me one way or the other
Rahul Dev Burman
2/5
Why is this on the list? There’s probably 1001 soundtrack albums better than this.
Jacques Brel
3/5
Can’t complain too much at 28 minutes
Beastie Boys
1/5
No one needs to listen to this before they die. 59 minutes long and the only half decent track is Sabotage, which you will almost certainly hear before you die unless you completely avoid American TV and movies (understandable if you do)
Little Simz
3/5
Not my cup of tea, but at least it’s under 40 minutes.
Beatles
2/5
This could have an amazing 30 minute album, but they decided to chuck in 60 minutes of guff to pad it out for some reason.
Dear Prudence, Helter Skelter, Blackbird, all great, but a lot of the other tracks really were unenjoyable and rarely in a way that was interesting. What was the point of Revolution 9 for example?
Madness
2/5
Our House is ok, the rest are pretty bad
Elis Regina
3/5
This grew on me as it went, saving the best until the very end with Aprendendo A Jogar. A solid 3
Supergrass
4/5
I think this might be the second time I’ve mistaken Supergras for Supertramp while doing this list.
Perhaps that’s why I was pleasantly surprised by this. Alright, which I’d heard before without knowing who did it, was obviously good, but Mansize Rooster and Caught by the Fuzz were also good.
The quality dropped off n the second half, but not enough to drop to a 3. I’ll be sure to listen to more Supertramp in future!
Steve Winwood
3/5
I only really know Steve Winwood because of Higher Love and, while these were ok, none hit the same lofty heights as that absolute banger
Roni Size
2/5
A bit of variation between tracks, but within themselves the tracks were repetitive and far too long. This is another 30 minute album stretched beyond breaking point. According to Wikipedia, the actual length is over 2 hrs, but I’ve only listened to the hour long disc 1 because I have some shreds of self-respect still left
Roxy Music
3/5
I preferred this to Country Life, which might be Brian Eno’s influence. The guitar, the keyboard, the drums, all fine, but there’s something about Ferry’s lyrics and vocals that irks me for some reason.
Also what is with rock musicians singing songs about inflatable sex dolls? AC/DC do it much better with You Shook Me All Night Long, but it’s still odd.
Janet Jackson
2/5
I really can’t stand this style of 80s/90s pop. Far too much fake drum noise.
The social commentary is all well and good, but this is a bad album that only exists because of nepotism. Actually no, the social commentary is pretty bad too e.g.
“Prejudice (no)
Ignorance (no)
Bigotry (no)
Illiteracy (no)”
Inspiring stuff…
This avoids a 1 by the skin of its teeth mainly because the ballads at the end aren’t as annoying as the rest of the album. The interludes can fuck right off though.
The B-52's
3/5
Not too long, and not terrible to listen to, but no real enjoyment. They have a distinct and competent sound that does absolutely nothing for me.
Neil Young
3/5
Alright. A few decent tracks on here. My favourite was Come On Baby Let’s Go Downtown and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this is the song with the least amount of Neil Young singing
Norah Jones
3/5
Pleasant enough, but nothing outstanding
Sonic Youth
3/5
I liked Shadow of a Doubt and Bubble Gum, the rest were ok
Marty Robbins
3/5
I enjoyed this much more than I thought I would, though the stories got a bit repetitive after a while. Cowboy shoots someone, doesn’t the girl, dies and so on and so forth. Seems like a good album to listen to while playing Red Dead Redemption or maybe Fallout
The Doors
4/5
Pretty enjoyable, I just wish he would sing about little girls a bit less
Randy Newman
3/5
To be honest, it took me a while to get that these songs were satirical. Poe’s law and all that. In my defence, the idea that America is the land of the free and that slavery was actually doing the slaves a favour is the type of shit that a lot of Americans are actually stupid enough to believe.
On Newman, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to his music other than the Toy Story theme, so wasnt’t sure what to expect. He’s clearly a good song writer, but I generally prefer the covers of his music to his own performances.
Eric Clapton
3/5
This was enjoyable, but the best songs on here are covers, and while they’re good covers, they’re not better than the originals.
PJ Harvey
3/5
Fine. A bit monotonous, but generally ok
Happy Mondays
2/5
Listening to this did not make for a very happy Monday, that’s for sure. Maybe you need to take ecstasy to find this stuff enjoyable?
Coldplay
2/5
The musical equivalent of cold unbuttered toast.
Malcolm McLaren
2/5
A lot of variety, some good, some bad. I generally don’t care for skits on albums and this was no exception. Such a wide range of styles and genres made this feel discordant and a bit like a compilation album.
Tracy Chapman
3/5
I liked Fast Car, and if the rest had been anywhere near as good this would have been a solid 4, maybe even a 5. Alas, this but a humble 3.
Joe Ely
1/5
There’s something deeply cursed about the sound of this album. Perhaps it’s the accordion or keyboard and the way it clashes with the guitar. The vocals sound like any and all other country music I’ve heard before, but the backing music is an assault on the earholes. On some of the tracks, every element feels like it’s fighting against the rest of the composition and the end result is not only less than the sum of it’s parts, but also less than any individual part; I would genuinely rather listen to just a drum kit than hear Cornbread Moon again.
Willie Colón & Rubén Blades
3/5
I enjoyed the general vibe, but a lot of the tracks over stayed their welcome. Maybe the lyrics would’ve kept my interest better if I spoke the language, but normally the music is enough on its own.
Gil Scott-Heron
3/5
Generally pleasant listening and I enjoyed the commentary in Watergate Blues, but quite a snoozefest at times
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
3/5
This was fine. Nothing terrible, some interesting stuff, but nothing to write home about
Soft Machine
1/5
Jesus, what a slog. As a listener I felt completely unnecessary; this is music made for the people playing it and literally no one else. Self-indulgent rubbish
The White Stripes
4/5
Pretty good. Seven Nation Army is a banger, obviously. I also like the cover I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself. However, the album slightly over-stayed its welcome, but it’s a solid 4 from me
Mariah Carey
2/5
Boring, repetitive mush that left very little impression
Stevie Wonder
2/5
One or two passably decent, but too many long wandering ballads that go absolutely nowhere
Pentangle
4/5
Might not be for everyone, but I love me some fingerpicking folksy harmonies
Sheryl Crow
3/5
Enjoyed the general vibe, but no outstanding tracks
Common
2/5
Too long, not enough variety
Jane Weaver
3/5
Not terrible, but nothing grabbed me for better or worse
The xx
4/5
It might be that I listened to this while driving on a sunny day with a long weekend to look forward to, but I actually enjoyed this; it made for a very pleasant and relaxing drive. Other albums on the drive weren’t as enjoyable so I have to give this a 4
Kanye West
2/5
It takes a truly unique talent to take the riff/melody of Black Sabbath’s Iron Man and turn it into a song as shit as Hell Of A Life.
In 2010 streaming hadn’t become dominant yet, so there’s a lot of filler to make that CD seem value for money. There are good bits, but they are like needles in a haystack of auto-tuned self-pity and keyboard trumpet noises
a-ha
2/5
I’d only ever heard Take On Me before listening to this album and that song remains a banger. Unfortunately, I now know why I’ve never heard any of the others.
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
1/5
Jesus this sucked so bad. Annoying voice, annoying lyrics, annoying guitar. Did I mention how annoying it was? The answer is very!
Bob Dylan
3/5
Album is too long. I like some of the bluesy elements, but there’s only so much I can stand. 72 minutes is too much.
I also tend to prefer Bob Dylan songs when covered by someone else, which is testament to both his song writing prowess and his annoying voice.
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
Tedious vocals, inane lyrics, repetitive noises for a backing track
Leonard Cohen
4/5
Really enjoyed the title track, especially given how close Cohen was to death at time of release, but disappointed to find the rest of the album fails to live up to this early promise. To be honest, I could happily listen to Cohen read out a terms and conditions or the ingredients on the back of a label, he’s got such a lovely voice, so this still gets a 4.
Tom Waits
4/5
Surprised how much I enjoyed this given how long it is. I listened while at work so didn’t fully pay attention to what was said and missed some of the jokes, but it was generally pleasant to listen to and what I did pay attention to was good. I especially liked Big Joe and Phantom 309
Ash
2/5
Nope, not for me, not a fan
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Have to say, I do have sympathy for the devil when he says “all cops are criminals” and killing the Romanovs was pretty good of him too!
4/5
Maybe it’s because I went into this with rock bottom expectations (the album title has a whiff of twattish pretentiousness), but I kinda liked this. Very weird, not my usual fare by any means, but it kept my attention and my interest all the way through
Faust
2/5
I was going to give this a generous 3, but that last song can fuck right off
Sonic Youth
2/5
Well, they’re certainly sonic, I’ll give them that. Youth is a bit of a stretch though when they were mostly in their mid to late thirties. I think at that point, they really should have considered renaming the band, maybe to Sonic Tricenarians or something.
I genuinely can’t imagine why anyone would like this kind of music. I get that music journalists had to pretend to in order to appear current, and that angsty teens wanting to appear edgy and cool lied to themselves about how good it was, but who actually listens to this and thinks “ooh a lovely bit of nails on chalkboard, what a delight for my earholes”?
Adele
3/5
I’m sorry if I’ve misunderstood, but is the concept behind Hello genuinely feeling upset that someone you’ve dumped has moved on and is happy now? Jesus, you’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel of things to be sad about there, Adele.
Fairly standard 2010s pop, nothing special.
Cyndi Lauper
4/5
Got off to a good start - Girls Just Want To Have Fun and Time After Time are bangers - bur side two wasn’t great and brings this down to a 4 overall
The xx
4/5
It’s official, I’m a fan of The xx. Two 4s in a row!
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Brilliant. Not a bad song on here, and several amazing ones; Dreams, Go Your Own Way, Songbird, The Chain. Crazy that The Chain wasn’t even one of the singles from this album. Rumours genuinely deserves all the plaudits it gets and it feels wrong to put this in the same category as some of my other 5s, so a 6 from me!
Crowded House
3/5
I liked Weather With You, but the rest of the album had too much filler; no need to be 48 minutes long.
Julian Cope
3/5
03:26
Oof! This is going to be a long 75 minutes.
14:41
Maybe this isn’t so bad.
23:36
Can’t be much longer now, surely?
41:46
My supplies are starting to dwindle. I’m not sure how much longer I can take.
55:36
I miss my family. Is there no end?
66:41
Please, if you find this, tell my wife and children that I love them.
75:53
Oh thank god, it’s over! I made it! Wait… no… it can’t be… what do you mean there’s a disc 2?!
*gunshot*
Peter Gabriel
4/5
Definitley like Solsbury Hill, and I think I like Down The Dolce Vita - most of it anyway. Just enough for a 4, I reckon
Peter Gabriel
1/5
Hated this. Every backing track was repetitive and annoying and the vocals got on my nerves after a while
Basement Jaxx
2/5
I’d heard Bingo Bango before but found the piano in the background totally distracting. The rest was just noise
Billy Bragg
5/5
I’d heard about Billy Bragg for his politics, so I expected that the main appeal of this album would be its message rather than the music, but I was wrong! This genuinely sounds great and I think I’d have enjoyed even if I didn’t broadly agree with what was being said
Pere Ubu
1/5
Weird and bad in a way that is neither enjoyable nor interesting
Sonic Youth
1/5
“Can’t be much longer” I think as I wearily open the album on Spotify.
I’m 4 songs in.
Kill me.
The Killers
3/5
Wait! Is Hot Fuzz a reference to this album? Can’t believe I only just realised that!
Sadly, the album was not as enjoyable as Simon Pegg’s comedy masterpiece. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me were enjoyable, but is that because they’re good or because I know them so well? Maybe I know them so well because they’re good? Either way, the other songs weren’t known to me and were just plain ok.
Decent debut album, but a lot of filler.
Nick Drake
2/5
The guitar was too repetitive and the songs never went anywhere. At least it was short, but 27 minutes shouldn’t contain this amount of boredom
Snoop Dogg
3/5
I liked the riff on Gz and Hustlas. I did not like the constant animal-based innuendos. Furries must love this album
3/5
This was fine
Muddy Waters
4/5
“Little girl, little girl
You know your kisses taste like
The sugar you use in tea”
The 1970s was a very different time.
Despite the above, I really enjoyed this! Love me some electric blues!
Dinosaur Jr.
3/5
I liked the loud guitars and driving rhythm, but I didn’t care for the drawling vocals one bit.
“regarded as one of the greatest and most influential albums in alternative rock.” - what a damning indictment of an entire genre.
To be fair, it was better than I feared it would be!
Rufus Wainwright
1/5
I think the fact that the Legacy section on wikipedia article for this album only says it was included on this list sums it up better than I possibly could.
Bad songs, badly performed.
Spiritualized
2/5
This was so bad I had to take a break halfway through, and I almost never do that. So repetitive. Every song was so long and went absolutely nowhere.
Ray Price
2/5
Pretty unremarkable
Spiritualized
2/5
I was going to give this a 3 because it is marginally better than Lazer Guided Melodies, but that 17 minute last song drops this to a 2. These self-indulgent twats love their sound a lot more than anyone else I suspect
Paul Simon
2/5
Only decent song on here was Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard, and even that is pretty overrated in my opinion. I guess there’s no art without Garfunkel
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
2/5
Relax, Two Tribes, and The Power of Love are good, and the cover of Born to Run is ok, but the rest of the album would have best left on the editor’s floor.
The Good, The Bad & The Queen
2/5
The Good, The Bad & The Queen. They are certainly one of these things. The least super of supergroups
Willie Nelson
3/5
Didn’t wow me, but didn’t annoy me or overstay its welcome
The Modern Lovers
3/5
This might have been good if it wasn’t for the vocals and lyrics
Run-D.M.C.
2/5
Needs more Aerosmith. And I never thought I’d say that.
Madonna
2/5
Very long, very self-indulgent, not good
Joan Baez
4/5
Good stuff. Lovely voice, interesting songs
Dolly Parton
4/5
Pretty pleasant listening.
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it.
Marilyn Manson
2/5
Fair play, American Christians and Conservatives are pretty fascist. That’s one element of the album that has aged fairly well. Can’t say I enjoyed the actual music though.
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Proud Mary is decent, but there are better CCR albums
Bobby Womack
3/5
Solid 3. Nothing amazing, nothing unpleasant
Dexys Midnight Runners
3/5
Come On Eileen is great, the rest vary from bad to ok
Elton John
3/5
This is a 30 minute 5 star album ruined by 46 minutes of filler
The Teardrop Explodes
3/5
3 verging on a 2. Some of the songs are quite repetitive and I don’t care for the style of vocals, but overall short enough to stomach
Robert Wyatt
1/5
Who is this guy and why the hell have I been made to listen to multiple of his albums? Why does he have albums? Did no one in his life love him enough to pick a different hobby? Pottery or stamp collecting, perhaps, anything that doesn’t involve him singing!
Alice Cooper
3/5
A lot more West Side Story than I was expecting
Curtis Mayfield
3/5
Nothing jumped out at me, but the general sound made for good background music and the album was short
Jamiroquai
3/5
Didgeridon’t
Carole King
4/5
Quite enjoyed this, but the best songs on it are the covers and they’re not better than the originals. It’s Too Late and You’ve Got a Friend were decent though
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
2/5
This was short. I’ll give it that.
Tom Waits
3/5
Not terrible
The Beach Boys
2/5
Please let this be the last Beach Boys album on here
The Doors
4/5
Quite enjoyed this, but not enough for a 5
Sebadoh
2/5
The sort of thing that would make your dad yell “Turn that racket off” if he heard it. And you know what? He’d be right to.
GZA
2/5
Pretty inoffensive on the ears. I can’t speak for the lyrics as I found them to be instantly forgettable. Mediocre background music at best
The Pharcyde
3/5
Almost enjoyed this at times, but it overstayed its welcome in the end.
Roxy Music
2/5
Being forced to listen to more Roxy Music than just Love Is The Drug has made me realise just how much I hate them. Vocals are awful, the melodies, where there are any, are ponderous and aimless, and the guitar riffs seem to be for the sake of the guitarist rather than the listener
Klaxons
2/5
Klaxons is a good name for this band because they do seem to love random unpleasant noises and, much like their namesake, they’re not very enjoyable to listen to.
I’m also knocking a point off for that 15 minutes of silence and then shit hidden track called “Untitled” stunt. That gimic has aged like fine milk in the age of Spotify.
The Specials
3/5
Turns out I’m not massive fan of ska, but fair play for ending racism in Britain.
Also TIL that the Dandy Warhols stole the riff in Bohemian Like You from Little Bitch by the Specials
Fairport Convention
4/5
Made for a very relaxing drive on the first listen and was just as good on the second.
Dirty Projectors
3/5
Weird without being good or bad
Jeru The Damaja
2/5
Boring
Lou Reed
2/5
Telling a sad story doesn’t make shit music any less shit
LL Cool J
2/5
Over an hour and didn’t grab my attention even once.
Christina Aguilera
2/5
She really did just keep singin’ her song. Incessantly.
Nice voice, but there’s over an hour’s worth of filler on this album. Even Dirrty didn’t need to be as long as it is (cut out all the Redman bits because he’s adding nothing). They really loved a slog of an album in the 2000s for some reason
John Lennon
2/5
I enjoyed working class hero, but most of the songs were too repetitive and never really went anywhere. Felt a lot longer than 39 minutes
The Jesus And Mary Chain
3/5
Quite enjoyable, but nothing outstanding
The Soft Boys
3/5
Trying too hard to be weird and wacky
Simply Red
2/5
Some of the backing stuff was ok, but I found the vocals annoying and a lot of the lyrics were dogshit
Stan Getz
4/5
Good stuff. It does make you feel a bit like you’re in a hotel elevator, but I blame the hotel industry for that
Tom Waits
4/5
Initially thought “oh god, another Tom Waits album”, but actually enjoyed this one quite a bit. Very different to spme of his earlier stuff
Oasis
5/5
They’re quite good, these Oasis fellas. I think I actually prefer this more rocky sound to their later stuff which you tend to hear more often. They’ll always be a poor man’s Beatles, but better than being a rich man’s anything else
Slade
4/5
If my maths is correct, Noddy Holder was only 26 when this came out. He must have lived a rough as hell life to already look and sound like a 50 year old man in his mid-20s.
PJ Harvey
2/5
I don’t like the vocal style and the music and lyrics are not interesting
The Yardbirds
2/5
Bits of this were at least interesting, if not enjoyable. That’s the nicest thing I can say about it
Doves
3/5
Not unpleasant, but won’t be listening again
The Streets
1/5
Wow this was even shitter than I remember. 50 mins of a guy just talking shit. One of the most embarrassing things to ever come out of England.
Moby Grape
3/5
Nice and short, nothing to write home about
Suede
4/5
This was much, much better than I was expecting
Kelela
2/5
Sounds like any other generic, over-produced, auto-tuned pop album from the 2000s/2010s
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
2/5
Just when I start enjoying a song, some guy starts doing a weird voice. Not good enough to justify the weirdness
Billie Holiday
4/5
Lovely voice. It did feel like I was listening to a xmas album at times, bit that’s probably just because I only listen to this kind of music around then. Either way I liked it
2Pac
2/5
Eh, better than some similar stuff from the same era, but still not exactly enjoyable
Aerosmith
3/5
There are better examples of this genre for the time, but it’s not terrible. Janie’s Got A Gun was pretty good.
Needs more Run DMC!
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
3/5
Considering this was 1.5hrs I didn’t get as bored as I thought I would
Dwight Yoakam
2/5
No wonder that room is lonely with music like this
New York Dolls
3/5
This is just shouting over rock n roll riffs. It’s fine, but nothing special
Gene Clark
4/5
The melancholy of this album perfectly suited a long drive on an Autumnal evening
Lorde
3/5
I like the style; it’s a bit different to a lot of pop of its time. No outstanding tracks though
Slipknot
1/5
Guttural screaming over fast yet uninteresting guitar and drums. Lots of aggression, but no melody and no soul.
Listening to this literally gave me a headache.
The Flaming Lips
2/5
Wasn’t terrible, but a bit weird and went on too long
Tori Amos
3/5
Ok, but did it need to be an hour long?
Black Sabbath
4/5
Close to a 5 this one
William Orbit
2/5
Boring, too long, thinks it’s a lot cleverer than it really is
The Shamen
1/5
Full disclosure, after the first track I only listened to the first minute of each song before skipping. I think I would genuinely give suicide a serious consideration rather than listen to anymore of this crap.
Seems like being a rave musician is a lot like being a cook at an old people’s home; you can feed them any old slop, their brains are too addled to actually remember anyway.
Björk
2/5
I think rated a Sugarcubes album and one of her other solo ones quite highly, but I just found this repetitive and annoying
Bad Company
3/5
Couple of decent tracks, nice and short
The Coral
3/5
Dreaming of You is good, the rest of the album fails to live up to it. More interesting than your typical 2000s album though, and much shorter too
Koffi Olomide
2/5
The songs were ok on their own, but they started to all sound the same after a while, though maybe if I could understand the lyrics I would have found them more engaging. The album did not need to be an hour
Ravi Shankar
4/5
Felt educational. I didn’t actually learn anything, but I enjoyed the feeling nonetheless
The Verve
2/5
Not bad this Oasis tribute act, but I don’t understand why they play so few of the hits. Needs more Champagne Supernova
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
First time I’ve ever listened to an album that’s over an hour long and immediately wanted to listen to it again. It actually got better and better as it went along. Bit weirder than their more popular stuff, but just as engrossing, maybe even more so
Hole
4/5
Never really been aware of Hole before, though I apparently have heard Celebrity Skin before, but I will give them more of a listen after this. Good stuff
Fairport Convention
4/5
Not as good as Unhalfbricking, but still decent
Morrissey
2/5
This was quite a long 39 minutes; felt like I was listening to the same song on repeat
Steely Dan
2/5
Short album, but the songs are all long and pretty much every one overstays its welcome
Goldfrapp
3/5
Can’t say any individual song was particularly amazing, but the general feel of the album was a bit different and not unpleasant
Quicksilver Messenger Service
4/5
Worth trudging through all the muck on here to discover diamonds like this. Never heard of these guys before, but I’ll definitely check them out after this. Just misses out on a 5 as it didn’t need to be 50 minutes and some of the solos were a little too long and wandering, but overall a great listen
John Martyn
5/5
Great stuff
Queens of the Stone Age
2/5
This sucked so much I’m surprised anyone let them make another album
Elvis Costello
2/5
I almost liked Rocking Horse Road, which saves this from being a 1, but the rest of this album was just so annoying to listen to.
Nina Simone
3/5
Nice voice, no bangers
Billy Joel
5/5
Banger after banger, solid 5
fIREHOSE
2/5
Well… at least it was only 30 minutes
R.E.M.
2/5
So many of these songs sound like they just improvised the vocals to them on the spot and never bothered refining or improving them
Orbital
3/5
Thought the time loop thing at the start was a good bit, but then it went for another minute or so and just became annoying. The outro was annoying too. Overstaying a welcome is pretty much the overarching theme of this 65 minute long album. Lot’s of songs that could have 3 or 4 minutes instead of 7 or 8. Despite that, I actually almost enjoyed it at times. Felt like I was listening to the background music for some indie space-themed RPG.
Stephen Stills
2/5
Good guitar, bad songs
2/5
Modern Life ain’t anywhere near as bad as this album
The Slits
2/5
Another bad post-punk album to add to the dismal collection
Jane's Addiction
3/5
A solid 3. Nothing amazing, nothing dreadful
King Crimson
2/5
Boring noise for the most part
Santana
4/5
Already liked Black Magic Woman and the rest of the album lived up to that expectation. Almost a 5
3/5
Not bad, but nothing as good as Low Rider