796
Albums Rated
3.35
Average Rating
73%
Complete
293 albums remaining
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Rating Timeline
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Taste Profile
1970s
Favorite Decade
Grunge
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Top Origin
Wordsmith
Rater Style ?
101
5-Star Albums
35
1-Star Albums
Taste Analysis
Genre Preferences
Ratings by genre
Origin Preferences
Ratings by country
Rating Style
You Love More Than Most
Albums you rated higher than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Planet Rock: The Album | 5 | 2.79 | +2.21 |
| Eli And The Thirteenth Confession | 5 | 2.94 | +2.06 |
| Call of the Valley | 5 | 2.95 | +2.05 |
| Rings Around The World | 5 | 2.97 | +2.03 |
| Bert Jansch | 5 | 3 | +2 |
| Searching For The Young Soul Rebels | 5 | 3 | +2 |
| Nighthawks At The Diner | 5 | 3.01 | +1.99 |
| Done By The Forces Of Nature | 5 | 3.04 | +1.96 |
| Immigrés | 5 | 3.08 | +1.92 |
| Close To You | 5 | 3.11 | +1.89 |
You Love Less Than Most
Albums you rated lower than global average
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
| Master Of Puppets | 1 | 3.73 | -2.73 |
| 1984 | 1 | 3.51 | -2.51 |
| Queen II | 1 | 3.49 | -2.49 |
| A Rush Of Blood To The Head | 1 | 3.44 | -2.44 |
| Hot Buttered Soul | 1 | 3.43 | -2.43 |
| Synchronicity | 1 | 3.42 | -2.42 |
| Come Away With Me | 1 | 3.39 | -2.39 |
| Protection | 1 | 3.25 | -2.25 |
| Suede | 1 | 3.1 | -2.1 |
| Oxygène | 1 | 3.08 | -2.08 |
Artist Analysis
Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| The Rolling Stones | 5 | 4.6 |
| Van Morrison | 3 | 5 |
| Bob Dylan | 7 | 4.29 |
| Talking Heads | 3 | 4.67 |
| Beastie Boys | 3 | 4.67 |
| The Beach Boys | 3 | 4.67 |
| Michael Jackson | 3 | 4.67 |
| Fleetwood Mac | 2 | 5 |
| The Clash | 2 | 5 |
| Beatles | 5 | 4.2 |
| Steely Dan | 3 | 4.33 |
| Nirvana | 3 | 4.33 |
| Bob Marley & The Wailers | 3 | 4.33 |
| Jimi Hendrix | 3 | 4.33 |
| Marvin Gaye | 3 | 4.33 |
| Bruce Springsteen | 5 | 4 |
Least Favorite Artists
Artists with 2+ albums
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Suede | 2 | 1 |
| Van Halen | 2 | 1.5 |
| Emerson, Lake & Palmer | 2 | 1.5 |
| Pere Ubu | 2 | 1.5 |
Controversial Artists
Artists you rate inconsistently
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Primal Scream | 1, 5 |
| Coldplay | 1, 4 |
| Sepultura | 1, 4 |
| Queen | 1, 4 |
| Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 5, 2 |
5-Star Albums (101)
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Popular Reviews
Aerosmith
2/5
I tried to make love in an elevator once. It was far more difficult than Aerosmith make out. Maybe you aren’t supposed to do it in the lift of a 2 floor Marks and Sparks but you haven’t even got your pants down before you’re interrupted by an old person with mobility issues - Aerosmith really need to be more clear about how this works. 2.2
13 likes
Blue Cheer
4/5
As one half of UK cover band Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about taking a great song and doing a terrible cover and almost ruining it. 3.7
2 likes
Massive Attack
1/5
A real struggle to finish. Painfully boring and hard work to get through. Proud of myself for my dedication to this project and finishing the album. Genuine sigh of relief when it ended. 1.0
2 likes
Coldplay
1/5
I can only assume that it’s albums like this that led to Gwyneth Paltrow leaving Chris Martin 1.4
1 likes
The Mars Volta
3/5
Good album. Few bits a bit too abstract for me but enjoyed it 3.4
1 likes
4-Star Albums (264)
1-Star Albums (35)
All Ratings
George Harrison
3/5
Great for late night blog writing! Good, upbeat but chilled vibes
Radiohead
4/5
I’m not a fan of Radiohead. Bit too depressing and dreary for me. But I’d forgotten how good this album is. I feel like they lost me after this album. Nice to relive it though!
Suede
1/5
I have no idea why this would need a 25th anniversary edition?!! One track almost made me interested. Hasn’t aged well. Typical dreary early 90s indie dross. If this was cutting edge and started some sort of musical revolution that needs celebrating, I’m over the moon I don’t know about it
Neil Young
4/5
Brilliant, time less album. This is the kind of album that really shows how difficult the 5* rating is. Should it deserve a 5? It’s so close. And so much better than other 4* ratings but equally you don’t want to devalue 5* ratings by dishing out too many. I’m probably overthinking this
Dolly Parton
3/5
This is why I love this platform. Both an artist and genre I wouldn’t ever go near. Enjoyed listening to it! There are a few tracks id listen to again. Maybe not the whole album - country just isn’t really my thing. But I’ve got a whole new appreciation for Dolly the songwriter! Lovely stuff!
Norah Jones
1/5
Total musical boredom….
1. Don’t Know Why - really apt question for this album - you ask yourself that 14 times
2. Seven Years - how long this album felt and how many years it took off my life
3. Cold Cold Heart - the core of the production team and record label who released this
4. Feelin’ The Same Way - not sure I’ll ever feel the same again
5. Come Away With Me - only if you promise to never sing anything from this album
6. …Shoot The Moon - if this album was the moon I’d be unleashing my entire arsenal on it. Then asking NATO to borrow more weapons
7. Turn Me On - by turning this off
8. Lonestar - incredibly I prefer Charlie from Busted
9. I’ve Got To See You Again - I hope not
10. Painter Song - Kevin Painter would make a better album
11. One Flight Down - I can only assume the pilots were listening to this
12. Nightingale - I’d rather spend a night in Gail Platt than listen to this again
13. The Long Day Is Over - totally misleading and really disappointing when you find out there’s another track to come
14. The Nearness Of You - I’ve told you before, don’t come near me
Isaac Hayes
3/5
Made my car journeys extremely dramatic! Some absolute bangers on this album, interspersed with lots of ‘vegas lounge room fillers’. The 20 minute long track at the end of the album seems unnecessary and is loooong and repetitive. It’s made me want to watch the film!
Sufjan Stevens
4/5
Brilliant album! Haven’t listened to it in about 10 years. Every song feels epic
Miles Davis
4/5
Effortlessly brilliant. How is an album made in 1959 still so modern sounding and so relevant? Incredible. Totally timeless
4.9
Minor Threat
3/5
Sonic Youth
3/5
Good album. Really long album! Enjoyed it but got a bit bored towards the end
Keith Jarrett
4/5
Serious piano overload. I would love to listen to this album with a piano player. I feel likes it’s so technically brilliant that it’s a bit lost on me. Can’t help but admire the shear talent and passion. Incredible!
Bob Dylan
3/5
Didn’t realise that Adele song was a cover. Good album. I feel like there is so much Dylan to listen to that this can’t be the best by a long way. It was all fine. Nice. Average. Will listen again but probs will investigate earlier Dylan
Kings of Leon
4/5
Great first album. Shame they went down hill quickly from here and just became a commercial band focussed on money making
Guided By Voices
3/5
Great low-fi indie album
The Smiths
3/5
Musically it deserves a 5. Morrisey makes it a 3
The Crusaders
4/5
Brilliant Saturday afternoon album! The full version on street life with full instrumental is worth the whole album getting a 4
Goldfrapp
2/5
Too quiet. Too mellow. Forgot it was even on half way through. From a period where it seemed to be everyone’s agenda to try to make atmospheric, anthemic, seminal albums. Rubbish
Carole King
5/5
Brilliant album. Perfect
Paul Simon
3/5
Good Paul Simon album. Everything you’d expect. Nothing particularly special but catchy!
Boston
3/5
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
Springsteen writing songs to sell out stadiums. Crowd pleasing anthems - but samey across the whole album
R.E.M.
4/5
Regretfully a great album full of bangers
The Divine Comedy
3/5
Lovely album! Almost Tony Bennett esqe at times. Loved it. Makes the five star rating system frustrating. I want to give it more than 3 but have to rate based on other albums 72/100
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Public Enemy
3/5
Talking Heads
4/5
Any talking heads will get 4/5. Although this is far from their best - it’s still brilliant
The Cure
4/5
Great album. Good to listen to early Cure. Very inspiring to listen to more
Calexico
3/5
Don’t know why everyone thinks this is the greatest album ever. It’s fine. Maybe I haven’t listened to it in the right mood
Sister Sledge
3/5
Packed with bangers! He’s the greatest dancer is up there with my fave disco tracks - loved it
Country Joe & The Fish
2/5
Too eclectic. Brilliance mixed with total garbage
R.E.M.
3/5
4/5
Great album!
Adele
2/5
Worries me that this thing will have an Ed Sheeran album at some point. 1 extra point cos she can sing
John Martyn
4/5
Great album. Musically brilliant. Very eclectic
Mekons
2/5
Meh. Bit meh. Fine. Not too good, nothing too bad. Hoped for more
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
2/5
Everything you’d expect
Deep Purple
3/5
The Charlatans
3/5
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
Nice eclectic album. Some bangers. Some not so bangers. A great album for the right sort of mood. Want to listen to it on vinyl
Steely Dan
4/5
Genius. Brilliant
Skunk Anansie
4/5
Near perfect album!
Dwight Yoakam
3/5
I’m not sure this genre will ever be me. Although I appreciate the opportunity to listen to it and it bought smiles, laughter and dancing to my household so bonus points for thay
4/5
Suffragette City is such a banger
The Prodigy
4/5
Aerosmith
3/5
Proper dad rock
The Strokes
4/5
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
Bit the same. Appreciate it was ground breaking at the time though
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
4/5
Green Day
4/5
Green Day
2/5
No thanks
The Smiths
3/5
I just can’t abide by morrisey. The music will never out shine how utterly irritating he is in every way
Elastica
4/5
Raw! Great album! 3.8
Jorge Ben Jor
4/5
Brilliant vibes!
The Chemical Brothers
3/5
Mudhoney
3/5
Good grunge. Bit too grungy in places
Madonna
3/5
Didn’t expect that!
Jeff Buckley
4/5
Classic album. Can’t believe another cover of Alexandra Burke - she must be rolling in royalties
Kraftwerk
2/5
Found the album really stressful. The relentless mind bending repetition gave me actually heart palpitations and genuine anxiety
Van Morrison
5/5
Genius! If you don’t appreciate how good this gig must have been. Listen to more Van Morrison and appreciate how much he changed and orchestrated every track to make it unique. Education in live performance
The Stooges
3/5
Good but expected more
Mercury Rev
2/5
Left me constantly wanting more fr the album. Never delivered
The Police
3/5
Good solid album! Better on vinyl
Khaled
3/5
Total surprise. Track 2 was a total banger! Really enjoyed the album - first listen was amazing. Second listen it started to get a bit annoying
Nirvana
4/5
All time classic
Randy Newman
2/5
Nice. Almost lovely. But really samey and doesn’t really ever get anywhere. I just want to walk into my local and see him on the piano. I imagine live it’s unreal
The Isley Brothers
3/5
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Bit boring. Might not have been in the right mood to listen to it. Going to give it a re-listen
The Psychedelic Furs
3/5
Overall this album is psychedelic or furry enough! The start of the album felt a bit of a mish mash of all sorts of music but The middle part of this album is incredible! Some absolute bangers. 3.5
David Crosby
4/5
Great guitars. Wasn’t sure after first track - great driving album! 3.6
Van Halen
2/5
Was Van Halens aim to become the pinnacle of a genre called Dad Rock? And kind of ridiculed as a result? Not sure. But with listening to Dad Rock, the excitement fades fast and the boredom sky rockets. I just want to watch spinal tap
Stan Getz
4/5
Jaaaaazzzzzzzzz! 4.0
3/5
Solid album. Lots of genres. The Spotify playlist after this album was awesome - probs better than the album. 3.3
Underworld
1/5
This album should be titled ‘Anxiety Inducing Electronic Nonsense’ I got 14 minutes into track 1, realised the album is like 2 hours and gave up. Terrible. My first project failure. No one needs this in their life. I’m sure if I was in a field gurning my nuts off on day 5 of a life changing bender, in the middle of a field listening to this with a whole load of terrible people I’d thoroughly enjoy it. But in the car, the morning of total toddler meltdowns and stress levels beyond comprehension, this is the last thing anyone needs. 0.5
Joy Division
3/5
I didn’t enjoy this album as much as I have in the past. Not sure I was listening on the correct format or in the right mood. Anyway, gotta rate it based on current listen - 3.4
Adam & The Ants
4/5
Adam & The Ants both stood and delivered with this album. Not sure the remastered version with 4000 versions of everything on it lasting 2.5 hours is worth it but all the same - cracking kitchen prep album! 3.8
Beatles
5/5
Favourite Beatles album? I’d have to say, the best of the Beatles. 4.8
Cornershop
3/5
Really interesting album! Got worse after fat boy slim went solo. 3.2
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5/5
Adore the flow of this album! Intensity, tempo - it’s amazing! Some total bangers. Hard to choose my favourite track. 4.6
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
I’ve never taken the time to listen to Bob’s actual albums. And after this, I’m ashamed of myself. I’m going to erase every time I’ve ever listened to legend from my memory and work through his back catalogue. Thoroughly enjoyed this! 4.5
The Fall
2/5
The xx
3/5
I finally understand what my wife keeps going on about. I just wished it got a bit bigger than it did…….Nice anthemic feel but gets a bit boring. One track started sounding a little bit Chris Isaac which was nice. Feels like it’s building somewhere but never quite gets there. 3.1
Gang Of Four
4/5
‘Lovely stuff! Not my words, the words of Shakin’ Stevens’ 3.8
Great guitars and amazing bass lines!
Scott Walker
3/5
What the bloody hell was that? I was sold Scott Walker as a ‘genius’ - theres a fine line between lunacy and genius. How does anyone tread that line, wobbling both ways for an entire album and end up still on that line, leaving me without a clue as to what my feelings are towards it all. An incredible group of musicians with a guy singing everything he sees and does in the style of a las vega lounge show. Whats not to love?…..don’t ask me, i’m just as confused as everyone else. 2.5
Louis Prima
4/5
There’s only potentially one more inspirational kitchen prep album. 3.8
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
4/5
Very good listen. Much prefer his earlier work. The stuff about his blue shoes and his time in prison, rocking out with the other inmates! 3.7
Dagmar Krause
2/5
First track was a good reminder to go get some laundry detergent from home bargains. Also good to see a track mentioning Melon Coulis. Melon coulis isn’t something you see very often. I think it’s probably the texture of the melon. Doesn’t really break down too well. Would probably be quite mushy and not a pleasant texture. Also, who wants a melon coulis? Sounds a bit gross. Just have a shot of midori and crack on. That’s what I say. 1.5
Buffalo Springfield
4/5
The kind of album that makes me sad, angry and annoyed that I don’t live in the 60s and this incredible music was being churned out all the time. 4.4
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
Great experience! 4.1
Coldplay
1/5
I can only assume that it’s albums like this that led to Gwyneth Paltrow leaving Chris Martin 1.4
Big Brother & The Holding Company
5/5
I was there. The band were in front of me. My jaw was on the floor the entire time. In 6 hours I listened to this 4 times and bought the vinyl. Incredible stuff. 4.9
Baaba Maal
3/5
2 certified total bangers and the rest is a bit of all sorts. Hard to focus as one track is great then the next is total madness. 2.8
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
The more I listen to Simon and Garfunkel the more I can’t help but feel that Garfunkel was holding Simon back the whole time. Everything’s lovely but not really all that inspiring to make me listen again 3.0
Jefferson Airplane
3/5
Bit meh! 2.5
Queens of the Stone Age
4/5
Didn’t expect to enjoy that as much as I did! Great for a hungover Monday morning 3.5
Fiona Apple
3/5
Good start. Got a bit samey. Nice though. 3.0
Air
4/5
Very nice 3.8
Afrika Bambaataa
5/5
Absolutely world class hip hop. So much going on! There isn’t a single weak track on the album 4.6
Pixies
4/5
Probably the best opening to an opening track on any album ever. Made an excellent soundtrack to stomp through the festive crowds in town. 4.4
Black Sabbath
4/5
Changed my whole perception of Black Sabbath! Enjoyed this far more than I expected 3.8
Fela Kuti
4/5
Excellent! Really good soundtrack for housework. 3.6
The Temptations
3/5
Didn’t expect such a funk fest. Pleasantly surprised 3.2
Various Artists
2/5
Prefer ‘now that’s what I call Christmas’ 1.5
John Coltrane
5/5
Total jazz! 4.8
Badly Drawn Boy
4/5
My emotional response to this album is astonishing! I think it’s foundations are in 15 year old me starting to feel like I was finding myself In a really good way. Starting to be happy with who I was becoming. The opening bars to The Shining still gives me that feeling deep in my gut that I’m about to pour out some sort of emotion. For some reason, I fill with happy tears. Yet it’s not my favourite album in the world! Weird! 4.4
Happy Mondays
3/5
The 2 periods of time where I would have most loved to have been in my 20s would have been mid-late 60s and early 90s - I’d have been no use to anyone but would have had the best time!
This is from that period where every band was just made up of some blokes from down the pub - which means every album starts with some bangers then slowly fizzles out into the same track repeated over and over - gets very boring! Maybe pills would make it better? 3.1
The Rolling Stones
5/5
I realise since Woolworths shut their root to market has disappeared. But I feel like they should stick to what they do best and make really great unlicensed best of’s and collections. 4.7
Donald Fagen
4/5
They have gotten away with murder here. Unbelievable! Total rip off of Steely Dan. Even the vocals are almost identical. Ed Sheeran gets pulled up for one chord - where’s the law suit? Madness! 4.4
The Undertones
4/5
A short while ago I thought the undertones were a bit of a one hit wonder band - what a total moron! Bangers everywhere! 4.1
Marvin Gaye
5/5
Sheer Perfection 5.0
The Thrills
3/5
It’s 2006, I’m driving HGVs around the Cotswolds in the sunshine. Life’s good, money flowing, living for the weekend, travelling all over the places. This albums becoming an anthem of the summer. Zero pressure, everything positive. Roll on to now, it’s 2024, I’m married with 2 kids. Self employed scraping together every penny I possibly can. Just attempting to survive each day as it comes. Constantly questioning whether I’m doing the right thing. Second guessing everything. And this album is irritating and just a load of nothingness. The real circle of life! 2.5
Tori Amos
2/5
We all know how technically brilliant tori amos is. Great voice. And lovely to listen to in small doses. Small doses being less than an entire album. Preferred the stuff she did with Kellogg’s 2.0
The Doors
2/5
I struggled. I’ve never really been sure what all the fuss was about with Morrison. I’m sure this was mind bending and totally groundbreaking at the time but listening now it just sounds like a demented fairground ride from a low budget horror movie. Doubt I’ll listen again. 2.4
The Police
1/5
This is like the ramblings of a mad man. A former genius who’s gone totally mental but he did some good things some time ago, so everyone just accepts it - we are all idiots. Possibly the most frustrating album I’ve ever listened to. I can’t play a single musical instrument but I feel like I’d be capable of writing a better album than this. I love early police albums. This is totally abhorrent. I’m pretty sure Ed Sheeran has written better albums than this. I’m blown away by how much I can’t stand this 0.1
Wilco
2/5
So middle of the road you can easily forget it’s even playing. Just listen to Eels - you’ll have a much better time 1.9
PJ Harvey
4/5
Great stuff. Right level of kind of atmospheric for me. Some albums try a bit too hard. This seemed effortless solid 4.0
Prince
4/5
I have always yearned to love Prince albums but i can never quite get there. I feel like he’s the natural born live performer whose albums would never live up to that. Not a studio artist. Couple of bangers on here though. 3.8
D'Angelo
4/5
Total grooves! Enjoyed this so much more than I expected. A genre I gave no time to. Loved it 4.3
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5/5
Good but I preferred the stuff he did with Bill Crosby, Stan.D.Stills and Kate Nash. 4.5
Scott Walker
3/5
Didn’t really enjoy Scott 2. Enjoyed this a bit more. I can definitely appreciate the musical genius behind it all but it just doesn’t really sit with me that well. All a bit too dramatic for me. Feels like a soundtrack to a 60s musical tv drama at times. 3.0
Beck
4/5
I can finally see what all the fuss is about. What a great career resurgence. Great to see Jeff Beck do something so forward thinking. Excellent. 4.1
Paul Simon
5/5
A perfect ode to Elvis 5.0
Beatles
5/5
It’s like listening to 5 or 6 different albums in one. So hard to even comprehend how good it is! 5.0
The Rolling Stones
5/5
Joint fave stones album 4.8
Ice Cube
3/5
Really appreciate this style of hip hop - considering what was happening at the time. Feels like it’s part of a big movement. A bit like punk though - gets a bit too shouty for me! 3.4
Deerhunter
3/5
Nice album. Very pleasant listen. It came and went nicely but never really struck a chord. Very easily faded into the background 2.5
The Damned
2/5
Lots of noise. Some nicer noises than other. Right when you think you’re getting into it. It sounds like someone’s thrown the drum kit off the top of a multi-storey car park! Which takes you right back to twitching unexpectedly 2.0
Sex Pistols
5/5
The first and only true punk album I’ve ever enjoyed. And so it begins! BRING ON THE PUNK. 4.5
David Ackles
3/5
Exactly the kind of album I’m doing this for. Really struggling to rate this. Not really like anything I’ve heard before but not in an abstract way. 3.4
Paul Revere & The Raiders
3/5
Enjoyed this - although it’s really really 60s. Not sure I’ll listen again but it didn’t offend me 3.0
Soundgarden
5/5
Lovely stuff. 4.5
John Cale
3/5
Sat on the fence with this one. Absolutely epic moments with totally forgettable ones in equal measures 2.5
Sleater-Kinney
3/5
I’m starting to lose faith with this process. I mean, we get total unknown bands like this yet I still haven’t had any of the Boo Radleys Albums. 3.4
Sepultura
1/5
My ears vomited 0.0
Paul Simon
4/5
Another day and still no boo radleys - interesting. 4.2
David Gray
2/5
Striving to hear that bit in Sail Away when he whistles, live. Just wow. Sunday afternoon, Glasto legends spot. The world stops. For 5 minutes there’s peace in the world. Everyone listening. Everyone whistling. I think we can all agree that THIS was what John Lennon Imagined! 1.9
Slipknot
4/5
Have a thought for the drummers poor legs on that bass drum. 3.8
Pulp
3/5
Always had this nailed as a ‘great album’. Possibly one of those albums that I’ve always thought was ‘cool’ to love. Have listened to tracks off this regularly and love them. Not listened to the entire album for maybe 10-15 years. A few bangers with largely forgettable fillers. Disappointed - I realise why I didn’t listen to the whole album anymore 3.2
Nico
4/5
Lovely stuff. 3.6
Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
4/5
Very very nice. Still no boo radleys 4.0
Linkin Park
4/5
Made my throat hurt just listening to the shouting! Fortunately I like sore throats. 3.8
Nirvana
4/5
Prefer The Boo Radleys. 4.0
David Bowie
3/5
Didn’t really get into this. Bit too out there for me. Shame, I was very excited about listening to it 3.0
Foo Fighters
4/5
Very nice 3.6
The Rolling Stones
5/5
Brilliant! Great! Well Done to everyone! 4.7
Shivkumar Sharma
5/5
Caused an outer body experience and unlocked a new part of my soul 4.9
Tom Tom Club
4/5
The rare occasion I enjoyed the second disc of a mega album as much as the original release. Bangers everywhere. 4.4
David Bowie
4/5
I’m just not sure if I love David Bowie that much. This was good. Didn’t love it. Don’t think I enjoyed it as much as ziggy. Anyway. We’ll see - I’m going to listen again 3.8
OutKast
2/5
I can see why they had to apologise to Ms Jackson - their language is appalling. Really hard work explaining those words to the kids in the car. They only knew 3 or 4 of them already. 2.4
Bobby Womack
2/5
Not sure this should have ever happened. Can something be so smooth that it loses any credibility? I listened to a new (ish) Smokey Robinson album called ‘Gasms’ recently - similar vibes. Is it a joke? I’m not sure. What’s that song about secrets all about? Why’s he singing about KFC and some tasty apple pie. Weird. 1.8
Cypress Hill
3/5
Enjoyed it. As with all hip hop from this era. Love the individual tracks but by the end of the whole album it all feels a bit samey and tedious. I have to really concentrate to pick up the lyrics! Happy I listened to it. 3.2
Michael Kiwanuka
4/5
Wowee. Loved this. Loved all of it. Great vibes. Will definitely be on my regular listening list. 4.4
The Boo Radleys
2/5
The greatest band of all time! Custodians to the single greatest banger ever written. Also owners to this largely forgettable 90s indie classic. 2.4
k.d. lang
3/5
A female Chris Isaac - not really my bag but not really offensive to my ears in anyway. I’ll never listen again 3.0
Billy Bragg
3/5
I’m off to Brighton to set up and run the most left wing political group from the beach. It MUST NOT trip over into Communism! Good but ill never listen to it again 3.3
Radiohead
4/5
Pockets of upbeat relief from what is otherwise the mood changing depression you expect from Radiohead. I imagine this album gives Radiohead fans absolute raging boners (men and women) - am I a Radiohead fan or have I just had a slightly promiscuous thought? I’m not sure 3.5
The War On Drugs
4/5
I confidently told my wife to play this album during our game of scrabble this afternoon. Promising ‘you’ll love this’. She switched to ‘her choice’ before the end of track 1. 4.4
Lenny Kravitz
3/5
Harmless, fine, fairly non-existent, you might say boring. Absolutely nothing about this makes me want to turn it off or ever listen to it again. 2.5
Arcade Fire
4/5
I don’t remember feeling like this album had so many fillers in it. Maybe it’s just my age. 3.5
Marvin Gaye
3/5
Shot by his dad! Real shame! This isn’t his best work. Also a real shame. 3.4
Love
5/5
This project has allowed me to mature. This might be one of the only times i fully agree with my best friend 4.8
Morrissey
2/5
Thank god this is only 39 minutes long. What is going on? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! Morrissey and Thom Yorke - either of them could just record an entire album of arm pit farts and it would get nothing but rave reviews! At least with the smiths at least there was some great music he was ruining with his incredibly frustrating voice! This has nothing to offer me! It worries me how much more of him I’ll have to listen to on this project. No wonder Lesley Ash left him and got that terrible lip job! He should have stuck with Martin Clunes - his TV stuff was marginally less frustrating than his music! I’m not sure Even Bob The Builder could fix this. 2.0
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
Come a long long way since Fame Academy. Fair play 4.2
Incubus
4/5
Sometimes I wish you’d know they were the good old days when you were actually in them. 4.4
Big Black
1/5
Lots of noise. Largely not great noise but on occasion it didn’t make me want to turn it off. Although it got very close very often 1.4
Fats Domino
2/5
Fats Domino, Derek & The Dominos, Phats & Small - think about it. 2.4
The Roots
5/5
Pretty much perfect. Incredible album 4.7
Fave Track: The Seed
John Martyn
4/5
Excellent. This guy is my find of this project so far 4.4
Queen
1/5
Any band who is renowned for having incredible ‘greatest hits’ albums - especially plural greatest hits albums generally have terrible albums. Queen should have just stuck with their first 2 greatest hits albums and night at the opera. Apart from that who cares? Had to listen to 35 minutes of guff before getting to a bonefide banger ‘seven seas of Ryne’ 1.3
The Velvet Underground
4/5
Really great. All 4 discs of the same album. 4.4. Marginal regrets is it a 5? Closest album on the 4/5 star mark so far. Hmmm
LTJ Bukem
4/5
Don’t chuck out sub genres based on a really quite prejudice view of the full genre. Thank you project overlord for finding me a dnb genre I can really appreciate! 4.0
The Offspring
3/5
Nice to have an album where all the best songs aren’t just crammed into the first 5 tracks. Actually thought the album got better as it went along. Will listen to some tracks again but probs not the whole album 3.2
Fave Track - Not The One
Run-D.M.C.
3/5
Producer: what’s the idea then guys?
RUN DMC: (hits Casio keyboard demo button)’this sounds cool’
Producer: ‘oh wow. Ok. So what are you going to rap about?’
RUN DMC: ‘Have you ever noticed that Little Bo Peep rhymes with sheep?’
Better than their first album - there’s more cowbell in it
3.1
fIREHOSE
4/5
Kinda feel totally blindsided by this. Didn’t know what to expect. Loved it. Real varied album. Can’t wait to listen again. 4.3
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
1/5
Just sounds like 3 talented people who are just complete tossers. Trying to show off to each other about how great they are. It just leaves you with a pile of steaming self indulgent shit that reeks of arrogance 0.4
The Adverts
3/5
Enjoyed this. Can’t decide whether that’s because I listened to it just after being forced to listen to a god awful Emerson, Lake & Palmer live album that made me wish I didn’t have any ears. Will listen again. 3.3
Lorde
3/5
Not my thing. The kind of music that’s Popular with idiots who think they ‘love’ music and ‘hate’ commercial pop but only listen to radio 1 breakfast shows. It’s basically commercial pop from a different era 2.5
Arcade Fire
4/5
Hated this album when it first came out. Loved it when I just listened to it. What does that tell you? 4.3
Nick Drake
4/5
Lovely, beautiful! Stunning album. Gives me all the Sunday afternoon red wine vibes! Which is exactly when I’ll listen to it! Not sure it will get much play outside of that - but doesn’t take away from how lovely it is! 3.7
Pink Floyd
3/5
I’m not sure I’m musically gifted enough to understand how good pink Floyd were. Atmospheric but not sure if it’s my thing 3.2
Brian Eno
3/5
Bit too much for me. Enjoyed it more than expected though. 2.6
Dirty Projectors
3/5
Found it frustrating. Kept almost loving it. Then it would just get a bit too abstract and jarring. Almost like a not so good yeasayer! 2.5
The Velvet Underground
5/5
So close to a perfect score. Brilliant 4.9
Beastie Boys
4/5
Great album. So many bangers. Problem is when I think about it, I’m not sure it’s even in their top 3 albums? Or maybe even top 5? But how many of them will appear in this list? Consistently brilliant albums! 4.3
Nirvana
5/5
Just a great album. Near perfect. Then there’s just a bit too much of a shouty track at the end. 4.5
Rush
4/5
This is the dad Rock I hoped I’d find on this journey! Not too cheesy, lovely level of guitar that doesn’t make you feel like you’re listening to a support band off spinal tap. 4.0
Blur
5/5
Haven’t listened to this in about 25 years. Thought it would be nice to remember it. Not really sure I know many of the tracks. Proceeds to sing the entire album word for word with a beaming smile. 4.5
Lightning Bolt
1/5
Out of all the albums that are a bunch of horrible and abrasive sounds shoved together completely randomly to a point that my ears shut down and try to tear themselves off the side of my head - this has been my favourite so far - 1.4
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
2/5
I’m realising that I’m not an ELP fan and I never will be. Just too much. Feels too self absorbed and just arrogant. I feel like this is an album that would be played by your alpha Romeo driving yuppy uncle at a family do, who’s marriage is falling apart for obvious reasons and is just too keen to appear ‘cool’ and thinks this music is relevant. Having said that. It was better than the appalling live album I had the other week 2.1
Lynyrd Skynyrd
3/5
Good rock! Gets a bit tiresome towards the end of the album. Glad my fave track wasn’t the one I knew 3.1
Elliott Smith
4/5
Really enjoyed this. Constantly threatened to get a bit boring and samey before whisking me off to a whole new place. Packed with lovely building tracks. 4.2
The Verve
3/5
A mixture of epic bangers and boring dross. Over rated, underwhelming 3.3
Public Enemy
5/5
Brilliant. Makes me want to watch re-runs of flava of love - the best reality show ever created. Why isn’t it back on tv? 4.5
The Black Keys
4/5
Very nice 4.1
LCD Soundsystem
5/5
I originally listened to the wrong LCD Soundsystem. Then listened to this one. What a great day. 4.6
Grateful Dead
1/5
What is it with all the self indulgent prog nonsense? 1.1
The Monkees
3/5
The problem with the monkees is that they just always sound too much like the monkees. Apart from this album where they don’t sound like the monkees. Which is also a problem. The deluxe edition of this album is a whopping 36 tracks long. Another problem. It’s so samey. But that’s because there are so many different versions of the same tracks. And when each track is less than 3 minutes on average it’s impossible to care about what you’re listening to. Nice to know there is a side of the monkees I didn’t know. Another side of the monkees I don’t want to listen to. 2.5
The Beach Boys
5/5
Take me back to a time when pop music was exploratory and worth something. Sheer perfection 5.0
Q-Tip
4/5
Really enjoyed this! Love the groove! 4.1
Pavement
3/5
Pavement has always been a band I’ve wanted to love more than I actually ever do! Prefer some of the less loud tracks. Can get a bit ‘noisy’ at times. Maybe I’m just an old man these days? 3.4
Talking Heads
5/5
Hard to pick a favourite track. My fave talking heads album. 4.7
Solange
4/5
Loved it 4.4
Leonard Cohen
4/5
Lovely vibe to the whole album. Calmed my chaotic morning down exactly how I needed it to be! Will listen again very soon 4.2
Anthrax
4/5
The biggest surprise of the project so far for me. Never thought I’d find any level of metal I’d love. Let alone thrash metal! Brilliant! Great drums, great guitars and vocals that actually let you listen to that. Marvellous - will be a time and a place album to play but over the moon i now have it in my arsenal 3.6
David Bowie
3/5
Lost me in the last 1/3 of the album. My friend said I have to be on heroin to get it. I called everyone I know. Couldn’t get hold of any. I just don’t move in heroin circles. I wished albums like this would flag the need for heroin. I can’t just magic it up. Surely they should have a warning or something like the parental guidance sticker from the 90s. ‘Heroin Advised’ or something. I feel like the lack of heroin has really dampened my experience of this album. 3.4
Aerosmith
2/5
I tried to make love in an elevator once. It was far more difficult than Aerosmith make out. Maybe you aren’t supposed to do it in the lift of a 2 floor Marks and Sparks but you haven’t even got your pants down before you’re interrupted by an old person with mobility issues - Aerosmith really need to be more clear about how this works. 2.2
Sabu
3/5
Very much appreciate this. Very happy it’s on here. Appreciate the serious musicianship involved but not something I’ll likely listen to again 3.1
The Who
2/5
Decent album. Nice listen. Bit boring 2.4
Maxwell
2/5
Seemed fun for a couple of tracks. Gets boring fast. Too samey and makes me feel slimy when I listen to it. 2.3
Marvin Gaye
5/5
What is it with Marvin? First he starts trying to find out what’s going on? Then he’s insisting we get it on. Half way through this he insists we keep getting it on. Before long he wants you. And you’re in the midst of midnight love. Surely this is the tell tale signature sign of a sex pest? 4.9
Coldplay
4/5
The question ever always thinks about is. If you had a Time Machine, would you go back and kill Chris Martin. Everyone’s answer is yes. But at which point in time? I’d say just after this album was released. If Coldplay had decided this was it, I think this would have been considered one of the great albums of all time and coupled with the assassination - their fame would be set in stone. Unfortunately I don’t have a Time Machine and even more unfortunate is that Coldplay continued and continue to make music. Music that’s getting considerably worse by the day and has created an entire fan base of pure idiots. They lose points for this. They also lose points for blatantly ripping off Jeff Buckley in track 2 - it’s so Jeff Buckley I had to check my Spotify wasn’t on the blink. 3.8
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
Everything you would want from an album with tracks titled Ramble Tamble and Ooby Dooby! Lovely stuff 4.4
Curtis Mayfield
4/5
Lovely! 4.2
LL Cool J
3/5
The kind of hip hop that makes it impossible to keep up with when one track ends and the next starts. Not sure. Bit boring. Bit samey 2.5
Santana
3/5
Some serious classic bangers on this! To think he’d eventually fulfil his life long life dream and work with Rob Thomas! We all have to start somewhere I suppose. All a bit too guitar-y for me. This is what Rob Thomas does so well - pulls the guitar back down to laymen’s terms so we can all understand just how incredible it is. 3.1
Madness
3/5
Better than expected! Always had them down as a ‘best of’ band - no point listening to the albums. As per usually, I was generally right. Some great tracks though. 3.2
George Michael
5/5
Wait? What? He was gay?
5.0
Bob Marley & The Wailers
5/5
Shame he’s dead! 4.5
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
Best Bruce album so far. Much more ‘real’ than the rest. Really proving why the boss is the boss. 4.5
Napalm Death
1/5
Are the seriously talented band not really angry that the vocalist ruins everything? 1.2
Small Faces
1/5
My favourite track from this album wasn’t even on this album. It was the first track of the Spotify radio playlist that started after this album finished. It wasn’t even by this band. It was by The Monkees and I hate the Monkees. So let’s recap
1. Totally forgettable album
2. Best Track Isn’t Even On The Album
3. Best Track isn’t even by Small Faces
4. Best Track is by a band I hate
1.2
Bob Dylan
5/5
This has completely wet my Dylan whistle! I can’t wait to dive in further. The middle 4 tracks are potentially the best 4 continuous tracks from the middle of an album I’ve heard. 4.6
The Who
1/5
Don’t get it. Dont find it funny. Pretty arduous listen. Never got the who or why they had the career they had/have. This does nothing to make me want to explore them more. Awful 0.8
U2
2/5
Lynn? Are those your mums cataract glasses? 2.0
The Mars Volta
3/5
Good album. Few bits a bit too abstract for me but enjoyed it 3.4
U2
4/5
Sunday Bloody Sunday! What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think Sunday, bloody Sunday! 4.0
Baaba Maal
3/5
Took a few tracks to get into it. But once i was in I found a real appreciation for this album! 3.3
The Modern Lovers
3/5
Generally a bit forgettable although also feels forward thinking. Probs would sit with some early 90s stuff to be honest. 2.7
Blur
3/5
The first half is brilliant, the second half not so much. I’d say it’s an album of 2 halves. One brilliant half, one not so much half. The first half is the brilliant half. 3.2
R.E.M.
4/5
It’s really hard not to love REM. it’s like I really try to not like them. But I can’t do it. 3.8
Roxy Music
3/5
An album that is fine. Just sort of passed me by. Struggled to even notice a favourite track. Although Grey Lagoons increased my driving speed by 10% so maybe that’s it. 2.5
Brian Eno
3/5
I heard from a friend that Brian Eno has a secret husband called Howard. I don't think I trust him though, he's never met Brian. And I mean, Howard Eno? 2.7
Beastie Boys
5/5
I almost cried because all I wanted was to see them perform this album. That will never happen. Dreams don’t come true 4.8
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
3/5
Remember that old school parenting technique. Find your kid smoking. So you force them to smoke 50 cigarettes back to back to make them hate smoking. Only it doesn’t work. It makes them love it - you can’t understand why. In this case, the cigarettes are bluegrass, rootin’ and a tootin’ country music. The brand is this album. Relentless foot tapping music that makes you feel like you should hate it but after 2 hours you seem to have been brainwashed to quite enjoy it. 3.2
Richard Hawley
4/5
First 3/4 of this album is spectacular! Starts to wind down too early. Gets a little boring. Would have been better with maybe 2-3 less tracks. Still great though 4.2
Iron Maiden
2/5
Just what is the point. I don’t get it. Wont ever get it. What are the lyrics on about? Blah blah the chime of the bell in the past life of the children of the dead in the gallows of satans arsehole…..blah blah. Best track was actually by AC/DC on the Spotify radio playlist that came on after this. 1.8
Oasis
3/5
The start to live forever might be the most gut wrenching, soul destroying start to any song. The terrible drum beat followed by the totally disheartening ‘ai sed, maaayyyybeeeee’ - makes me wish music didn’t exist. Still don’t quite get why this album is so highly rated or oasis for that matter. Can’t really see what they bought to anything apart from a generation of awful fans who are stuck in the past, poncing around with mop haircuts (wishing they were Paul Weller), wearing 90s lower league football away shirts in their worn bootleg jeans and worn adidas gazelle trainers. Still pretending that whatever either Gallagher brother does is actually relevant. Apparently it must be cool to love shit hair, shit shoes, shit football and shit music. Would be a better album without the overplayed singles that all sound the same. Listening to this was a terrible start to my honeymoon 3.4
Can
3/5
Enjoyed this more than expected. Quite pleasant although a little too abstract. Unlikely to listen to it again but thank you for the opportunity to listen! 2.5
Jungle Brothers
5/5
Brilliant! The samples are ace. It’s all over the place with so many genres. Loved it. 4.7
Beck
4/5
It’s really an album of three halves. The first half is beautiful! Stunning! The second half starts to drag a touch but still lovely. The third half got a bit boring. But all the same lovely. So one beautiful half and 2 lovely halves. 3.6
Mudhoney
3/5
Ok. Quite enjoyed it. Sort of 2.6
Ryan Adams
2/5
Exactly as it was in 2001. 10-15 minutes of going. Wow - this is great. Then an hour of wondering. Wow - this is shit; please end now. 2.1
The Doors
4/5
Never really got the doors until this album. I hadn’t really noticed Jim Morrisons voice before this. Sounds incredibly mature for his age. Remarkable. Great to see they ditched the mental fairground organ a bit. Much more enjoyable 4.1
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
How do you follow something like rumours? Unbelievable! Gets better as it goes on. Second half of the album is genius! 4.7
Billy Joel
4/5
Some of Billy’s best bangers on here! Lovely stuff! 4.0
Bee Gees
2/5
A really thought provoking album. The thoughts are largely negative. Really great first 2-3 tracks. Then it seems to slide in to bizarre sort of chaos.
Incredible songwriting to foresee the exact point I would start to struggle with this album and shove a track called ‘Somebody Stop The Music’ right there. This is of course followed by a show of pure arrogance to then continue the album with even more irritating tracks than the ones that already sent me over the edge.
Why does every track sound like my mate Hairy Jon is bellowing it out after a couple of pints of scrumpy down the pub?
I feel like this needs a disclaimer attached to it and should only be listened to by people at the absolute peak of their mental health. Any cracks in your mindset and this album will find them and totally exploit them, potentially leaving you in a right mess.
Is it worth the risk? No. Not if you ask me!
1.9
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
4/5
Great jazz. The perfect length of jazz album. 38 minutes. Exactly my jazz limit. 4.4
Massive Attack
1/5
A real struggle to finish. Painfully boring and hard work to get through. Proud of myself for my dedication to this project and finishing the album. Genuine sigh of relief when it ended. 1.0
Public Image Ltd.
3/5
This was fine. I had quite high expectations. Didn’t quite get there for me. 3.0
Arctic Monkeys
5/5
Arctic monkeys are a prime example of a band I’ve decided I can’t stand based entirely on their popularity and fan demographic! Nothing to do with the music. I definitely don’t get the whole buzz around that tosspot. The main bloke. Alex The Twat or whatever he’s called. Heralded as a generational song writer and lyricist - don’t get me wrong, it’s catchy and great but just because he can write a song about taking a taxi in Sheffield doesn’t mean he should be considered ‘relatable’ and categorised with some of the best song writers ever. Anyway, back to this album. I remember it coming out, all the buzz by the radio 1 listeners who think they are alternative so a band with actual instruments is cool. Didnt it sell in like a record time? I remember loving it. So I’ve gone in open minded without arctic monkey prejudice! It’s actually brilliant. Hard hitting, relentless. I really love it. Frustrates me in a way that I know it pretty much word for word and that I can’t help but sing along to it! I don’t know who I am anymore 4.5
The Stooges
4/5
I’ve always thought that I should love the stooges. Somehow never got round to listening to them. I had the stooges first album - which was a bit of a letdown and a real shame. This was a total banger! Right up until the last track. Why take the shine off a brilliant album? Another shame. Albeit a shame at the end of brilliance! Im punishing them for it. Big time. This album was up in the high 4s until that last track - I hope they learn their lesson 3.8
Mariah Carey
2/5
I was hoping for more. I have 2 older sisters and grew up on this stuff. I was expecting my long lost inner 14 year old girl soul to be unlocked and set free. It wasn’t. This was awful. Boring. Irritating. I struggle to see how it’s on this list? I don’t see how it influenced anything. Just seems like another manufactured pop record. Am I missing something? 1.8
Muddy Waters
3/5
This was ok. I had quite high hopes. Maybe I wasn’t in the right mood but it didn’t really ignite anything for me. If I wasn’t a 40 year old dad who starts to fall asleep after 9pm and hasn’t been on a ‘late night session’ in living memory, id be tempted to say that this would be a perfect post-pub record to listen to into the early hours of the morning while my heads spinning from drinking too much whiskey. Unfortunately, 10am on a Wednesday with a ton of work to do - it didn’t really resonate with me that well. Very pleased to have listened to it though. 3.1
Johnny Cash
4/5
Early Johnny is the just brilliant! Great stuff! 4.4
Funkadelic
2/5
For such a short album, it takes ages to get going. The first 2/3 seems to be just about it finding its way, then right when you finally want more it’s over! 1.8
The Lemonheads
3/5
I had an uncle called Ray. Not even sure he was my uncle. He was really old. Maybe my grandads brother? Not sure. Anyway. We called him Uncle Ray. When he died I remember saying to my mum ‘it’s a shame about Ray’. It was a shame. He was a bit of a legend. Anyway, you’ll probably find this more interesting than this album. It’s not offensive in any way. Just a bit boring and samey. 2.5
Sly & The Family Stone
2/5
The Spotify radio playlist that plays following this album is better than the album 2.4
The Mothers Of Invention
3/5
Starts way too freaky, then gets really good, then gets way too freaky again. Another album of 3 halves! 2.8
Elton John
4/5
Get a bit fed up of everyone playing the same Elton hits all the time. Lovely reminder of just how great he is when you get to listen to an album largely made up of songs not considered his greatest hits! 3.9
Erykah Badu
5/5
What a bloody find! Incredible album! Proper journey! There I was thinking badu was like an 80s Beverly Knight! Revelation! 4.7
Metallica
1/5
No thanks. The second half of the album salvaged half a point 1.0
The La's
5/5
Total delight! I used to find there she goes way over played and slightly annoying. Why’s it taken me so long to listen to an entire album by The La’s. Brilliant. 4.6
Kings of Leon
2/5
You can just about spot the exact moment they decided to launch themselves head first down the water slide of commercial sell out shite, belly flopping right into the pool of irritating music. A pool ladened with coldplays piss! Feels like such a sell out album. Average almost post rock drums to try to create some sort of anthemic sound, gravely vocals with bang average, middle of the road lyrics. A recipe to get idiots to love your music. I’m a little bit of one of those idiots though! Would be better if sex on fire and that other god awful single wasn’t on this at all. 2.2
Willie Nelson
3/5
This doesn’t half drag on! Hows it only 33 mins. Felt like a lifetime! Starts well, then just drags on. Maybe it’s a bit too samey for me! It was fine. 2.7
Joni Mitchell
4/5
I can’t think of another voice that calms my mood as much as Joni. Everything in the world seems easier when I’m listening to Joni. Not heard this Joni album - a bit different to others which is nice. Some quite eclectic vibes going on! 3.8
Fred Neil
4/5
Enjoyed this far more than i thought i would! Learnt a lot from reading about him! Excellent song writer! 3.5
Ministry
1/5
This album is about 43 mins 55 seconds too long. The first 5 seconds are great! 1.1
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
Excellent. As expected - can’t deny little wing is an all time banger! 4.2
Dire Straits
4/5
Only recently found out knopfler was from Glasgow! Always thought he was from somewhere Salt Lake City or something like that. Maybe Philadelphia? Anyway, got to be the best opening 3 tracks to any album! It’s almost like they knew exactly what I wanted at every point of this album. Totally effortless! There I am thinking this guitar is cool but I really fancy some pan pipes. BAM - hits us with ride across the river! Amazing! 4.4
Ali Farka Touré
5/5
Absolutely loved this! Listened straight through twice. 4.5
Sade
5/5
It takes a real mix of guts and pure narcissistic arrogance to put your all time total banger as the first track on an album. Surely it’s a recipe for disaster? Not for Sade - she doesn’t stop throwing out bangers. What an album! 4.8
Faust
3/5
Lovely surprise! Didnt think I was gonna enjoy this at all. Way ahead of its time! Couldnt believe it was from 1973! Parts were a bit all over the shop for me but will definitely listen again. 3.4
Simon & Garfunkel
5/5
I love Paul Simon and listened to a few S&G albums and never quite got what everyone loves about them. Always feels like a bunch of pixies in a folk band trying to impress their fairy friends with terrible music. But this record is a total banger! Feels way more Simon than Garfunkel - so maybe that’s the problem! 4.6
Primal Scream
1/5
Stick to what you’re good at lads. Get back to some catchy indie pop/rock. 1.2
The Killers
3/5
Good, nostalgic Christian Rock! I think we should all discount Mr Brightside from our thoughts when rating this album. Such a nausea inducing pile of shite that it doesn’t seem fair to score this album 0.0 just because it’s got one of the worst and most overplayed songs in history on it. That being said, there were a few tracks I had forgotten which I enjoyed. 3.0
The National
5/5
Great. Just really great 4.5
Youssou N'Dour
5/5
Outrageous! What a record! Absolute education in how to blend 4000 musical genres and make them all harmonise perfectly! Completely took me by surprise! 4.7
The Clash
5/5
If all punk was like this. I’d probably be a massive fan of punk. Lovely to find some more musically focussed punk rather than sticking some obnoxious tweeb in front of a microphone ruining everything 4.5
Emmylou Harris
2/5
Another album in this list that’s a bit too out of my realm to fully appreciate. I don’t know if there’s some context to this I’m missing but I’m struggling to see how it’s in this list. Whether it’s some sort of seminal album that did something significant to country music? I don’t know. I’ve never heard of Emmylou Harris. I feel like she’s probably an important figure in some way and done something significant but this all just feels a bit too boring for me to be bothered to look into it. I feel like I want it to be one thing or another. Country or rock/pop. Actually I don’t want it to be country - I’m not a fan of country. Maybe that’s the problem? 2.4
Jeru The Damaja
3/5
This was fine. Ok. Nothing to dislike but nothing to love. Quite enjoyable but largely forgettable hip hop. 2.5
Led Zeppelin
4/5
I saw Robert Plant walking in Kidderminster when I was about 6. My dad pointed him out but I didn’t know who he was. Saw him again when I was 38 at my step daughter’s horse riding school. He didn’t recognise me. 4.4
Bob Dylan
5/5
Got totally lost in this album. In the most brilliant way. It almost carried me along without me realising! Lovely stuff. 4.8
Bee Gees
3/5
Total surprise! Pretty mega sound! Triumphant! Didn’t enjoy the first half. Loved the second. 3.4
T. Rex
3/5
Enjoyed this. Not as much as I’d hoped. Doubt I’d listen again. I’ve heard better T rex on other albums. 3.2
Meat Loaf
4/5
If you ask me, Meatloaf is best served lightly spiced with some aromats let nutmeg, clove, fennel seeds. Served with caramelised fennel and a blackberry sauce. It’s really quite marvellous! Theres no 2 ways about it! 4.3
Neu!
3/5
Exactly the sort of album I’m hear to find! Feels really forward thinking and way ahead of its time. There are tracks on this I’ll listen to again, and tracks I’ll happily not. But really appreciate the album! 3.2
a-ha
4/5
A massive 80s slap in the face! It opens with potentially the greatest pop song of all time. And just about holds up to that for the rest of the album. A little samey in places but a quality 80s pop album! 3.8
Elvis Costello
3/5
He was better with the attractions. I find everything he does is so Elvis Costello. Not necessarily samey but just really really elvis Costello. Nowhere near his best work. 3.2
Isaac Hayes
1/5
I struggle to understand how on earth this is on this list. This does to music what B*Witched did towards the Good Friday Peace Agreement! 0.8
Mott The Hoople
4/5
Thoroughly enjoyed this! First 3-4 tracks felt like a totally different album to the remainder. Started with some proper good dad rock. Not cheesy at all. Just proper dad rock. The kind of dad rock I’ve hoped exists. Not just stupid cliched guitar solos. Brilliant stuff. 4.1
Laura Nyro
5/5
Wowee! What a find! Like a mix of Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell and Carole King. I’m not sure why I’ve never heard of her before. Incredible voice! 4.5
Sam Cooke
3/5
I imagine this was out of this world to actually go and see live. I just struggle with connecting with some of these live albums. Can’t question Sam Cooke’s incredible talent! Glad I listened but doubt I’ll turn to it again. 3.2
Culture Club
3/5
Meh! This was fine. Nothing much to complain about but likely won’t listen again 3.0
Supergrass
3/5
Richard III is a total banger. I find supergrass have a few bangers but largely just filler. Never really grabbed my attention 3.0
Joan Baez
3/5
Plenty of warbling. Too much warbling to be honest. Cant argue that her voice is incredible and also really irritating! Felt like I should have been sat at a small local folk festival at Sun Down pretending to enjoy a local pint of ‘proper’ cider when I’m really just concerned that it’s stripping all the lining from my stomach. 2.6
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
5/5
I finally get the whole nick cave thing 4.7
Caetano Veloso
2/5
Second half is better than the first. Wont listen again. 2.2
Shack
3/5
Hoped for sea shanties got middle of the road Brit pop. Hard to even gauge an opinion on something so middle of the road. Much like being married to me - hard to criticise but equally hard to love 2.5
Aretha Franklin
5/5
Exactly how my wife describes my technique in the bedroom - completely effortless 4.7
X-Ray Spex
4/5
Lady punk - marvellous! 3.6
Hawkwind
3/5
Absolutely barmy! A total rollercoaster. Right when you think it’s awful, it suddenly gets pretty amazing. Before reverting to being terrible but finishing ok! Never heard anything like it 3.2
3/5
Didn’t think I enjoyed this at all. But looking back I also saved 3 tracks from the album. What does that tell us? I have no idea so I’m going with my gut. I didn’t enjoy it at all. 2.9
Count Basie & His Orchestra
3/5
Good jazz! Not too mental! Expected extreme drum and bass based on the cover. I was NOT disappointed! 3.4
Talking Heads
5/5
I have this thing with this album. When I first start listening, I find it jarring and hard to get into. About 4-5 tracks in, it takes off. It’s incredible. I play it back through and the first 4/5 tracks are some of my faves! It’s like I need to get into a David Byrne frame of mind! Incredible although not their best album 4.6
The Smiths
3/5
I’ll just never get beyond morrissey being the biggest tosspot that ever existed. I’ve tried, I just can’t! 2.5
Jimi Hendrix
5/5
Blimey! There are some bangers on this! 4.6
Klaxons
4/5
Better than it was in 2007. Maybe it was ahead of its time but I used to really hate it apart from maybe 2 tracks. 3.7
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
My attitude towards elvis Costello and the attractions changes with the wind. I love them as much as I find them irritating. 2.5
The Libertines
3/5
Very few albums do well when they play their best song first. Especially when they follow it with the worst 4-5 tracks before marginally salvaging the wreckage with the back end of the album. I feel like the album should have started around ‘Campaign of Hate’ and finished with ‘Can’t Stop Me Now’ (ish). Anyway, hugely overrated! 3.3
Funkadelic
3/5
Better than Maggot Brain but I can’t remember what I rated maggot brain. So this is really where we are explore just how inconsistent my scoring is throughout this whole nonsense. 3.4
Goldie
2/5
If this album was 45 minutes long, I might well be lording this as one of the great finds of this project. It would have really resonated with me. But this feeling soon passes by and makes you feel like you’re stuck on a really frustrating level on a PS1 game - some sort of secret underground room in Metal Gear Solid. It just goes from great to frustrating 2.4
Screaming Trees
4/5
This made me wish I had older siblings that listened to things other than Alicia’s Attic - how did these guys pass me by? Really enjoyed it! 4.1
Cat Stevens
5/5
Perfect 5.0
The Stooges
4/5
Strange relationship with the stooges. I love listening to them but also always have a nagging feeling that I want it to end soon. Strange! This was good though. Felt quite ‘raw’ 3.7
Sonic Youth
3/5
I adore parts of sonic youth. Then it suddenly just gets a bit too noisy and kind of irritating! 3.2
Silver Jews
3/5
I enjoyed this. But I generally enjoy indie rock. Felt like this could have really been any generic indie rock. Lacked a bit of individuality for me. Or did this just influence loads - I dunno, I can’t be bothered to find out. 3.4
Bob Dylan
5/5
Having not really listened to much Dylan - it’s a daunting task on where to start. One of the main reasons I started this project was to discover albums just like this! Incredible! I’m starting to get the whole Dylan thing! How can something make you feel equal measures solemn and happy at the same time? I haven’t felt that since I had a really difficult wank in 2015. 4.8
Mike Ladd
3/5
I feel like the vision behind this album was far bigger than what they actually achieved. Could definitely see what they wanted to do but just not 100% they got there. Still, a good listen and I enjoyed the majority of it. 3.1
T. Rex
5/5
T-Rex - my favourite dinosaur, my favourite garden decking company, my favourite baking vegetable fat butter alternative and now a band that’s made a bloody brilliant record. 4.6
The Who
3/5
I’m just going to have to accept that The Who are just a bit meh. I’ve tried really hard but I just don’t get why they are so revered. This is the best I’ve heard though. So? Exactly! 3.0
Janis Joplin
5/5
If I had a Time Machine, I’d head back. Watch Janis Joplin live and head back! I’d then never use it again. This is absolutely epic! 4.9
Public Enemy
3/5
Really gone on a journey with public enemy. Having heard a little but not much, this project has opened my eyes. This felt a little more polished, too many samples and not as raw as other albums I’ve listened to. Which isn’t a good thing. 3.3
Beatles
5/5
Simply the best album of first bars to every song ever! Unbelievable! I feel like I’ve heard just about every genre of modern music in this album. Totally timeless and so far ahead of its time. Yellow submarine lets it down! 4.9
Curtis Mayfield
5/5
Such a cool album. Every time I listen to it it makes me feel like I’m some sort of crime drama. It’s like I’m a cocaine dealer in Harlem. I’ve decided I want to quit the criminal underworld and go straight but I’m gonna have to commit one more crime. Then I’m out. Anyway, things don’t go as easily as I wanted them to or as I thought they would. Incredible the way music can transport you so far into your imagination. 4.5
The Pogues
4/5
Rum Sodomy & The Lash - others would call it ‘lockdown’ - 4.4
Deep Purple
3/5
Absolutely everything you’d expect. Big, over the top, almost stupid guitars. Big, over the top, almost stupid drums with big, over the top, almost stupid vocals. If it’s your bag, I’m sure you’d love it. 3.0
Jerry Lee Lewis
2/5
Lots of reviews about him being a racist nonce on here. Says a lot when I’m actually more offended by him incoherently smashing a piano while spouting what sounds like a load of gibberish than his other escapades. 1.5
Stevie Wonder
2/5
Thank god after this album they decided to plug Stevie wonder back in and fully charge him. What a pile of dreary shite! 2.1
3/5
Feel like this needed to be either more psychedelic or less psychedelic - felt a bit too psychedelic middle of the road. But then I really don’t get on with anything too psychedelic. So maybe it just doesn’t need to exist? Last 3-4 tracks were the best part of the album. 2.8
Rufus Wainwright
4/5
I enjoyed this. There would have been a period of my life where I would have thought this was the greatest thing ever created. JLS have formed since then, so it’s all changed. A little bit samey but that’s not much of an issue when you like it, I suppose. 3.9
Fugees
4/5
Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit is a massive thing to follow. Lauren did well. 4.0
Britney Spears
4/5
Frustratingly great pop music. The kind of pop music that you want to hate. But you can’t. It’s too catchy. It’s like the sort of over produced pop music designed to turn us into drones. Let me tell you, id be the head drone! 4.0
John Prine
3/5
In country music, Why is Loretta always down by a big river, eating peaches, looking for Jesus?
Played around with the timings/tempos a lot on this. Equal measures great and annoying!
Hope Kathy got all those spoons polished…
2.7
Eagles
3/5
Do bands still cop out like this when naming their first album anymore? I can’t be bothered to think and I don’t really care. But it feels like people don’t do it anymore. Super middle of the road just like the eagles always were. 2.9
Common
4/5
Very good! First few tracks took a bit of getting into but then it took off! Loved it. Felt very ahead of its time for 2000 - never heard of these guys, would love to hear some more. Always interesting when no tracks off this album are in their most popular tracks on Spotify. 4.1
Basement Jaxx
3/5
Not as good as i remember! The singles/hits are bangers. The rest sounds like a year 8 music lesson. 2.8
Prince
4/5
Comes out gun slinging with the start of this album! The rest is also great! 3.8
Charles Mingus
2/5
Did this inspire every sexy detective drama soundtrack of all time? Is there such a thing as too much jazz? This asks more questions than it answers. 1.8
Genesis
3/5
So close to being epic. Just a shame it never gets far away enough from annoying. Slightly too out there for me 3.0
The B-52's
4/5
The B-52s basically created a genre. It’s The B-52s. Such a unique sound! 3.7
Janelle Monáe
5/5
The kind of album you can listen to on loop and not realise that you’ve been listening to the same album for 4 days straight. So varied and full of lovely surprises. Loved it. 4.5
Suicide
1/5
Remember that musical instrument trolley you had a primary school in like year 2? Well this whole album sounds like the trolleys been left in the woods and a load of angry little woodland crickets have found it! Right when you think you’ve heard the worst possible album on this project, up pops another contender! 0.8
Van Morrison
5/5
This is like a piece of my heart. I’m not sure there’s another album that gives me the emotional response this does. Makes me feel so much. Can’t think of an album that makes me want to smile and cry at the same time. It’s nostaligic, it’s effortlessly beautiful! 5.0
Dion
3/5
Celine Dion
Dion
Dion Dublin
Dionne Warwick
Dionny Osmond
3.4
Eagles
3/5
I’d use the success of The Eagles as vital evidence that most people in the world are idiots. So middle of the road it’s hard to have any opinion on it 2.5
Suede
1/5
I listened to the entire 69 minutes of this. Surely an effort worthy of a Victoria Cross? Introduce ‘Death By Suede’ into the judicial system and watch crime rates fall to zero 1.4
The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
3/5
Liked how industrial this sounds. Unsure I’ll listen to it again but nothing much to complain about 3.2
Ramones
3/5
Surely the band with the highest T-shirt sales:actual streams ratio of all time? 3.3
Quicksilver Messenger Service
2/5
Really enjoyed bits of this. Really hated other bits. It was always so close to being great. Then just got a bit too out there. 2.3
Arcade Fire
4/5
An album I never choose to listen to but always love listening to it. 4.3
Fun Lovin' Criminals
4/5
Nostalgic bangers! 4.1
Harry Nilsson
4/5
You sit there thinking you only know one Harry Nilsson song. Lo and behold you actually know half an album. Nice! Very under the radar genius! 3.8
The Beach Boys
5/5
The band the Beatles wish they’d been. 4.5
Ice T
3/5
Impossible to listen to when you have an explicit lyric filter on Spotify. Nothing but questions from a 9 year old. Questions you can’t answer. Still - inspirational rap. 3.4
Neil Young
4/5
Neil Young. Ennit. 4.4
4/5
A lot of fun! Very cool. Another piece of evidence that proves I was born in the wrong decade! 4.3
The Associates
2/5
Maybe the most frustrating album on this. A real challenge. It’s so close to being brilliant so many times, then just gets a bit too jarring and frustrating! Second half of the album is better (or did I just get used to it?) I JUST DONT KNOW!!!!! 2.3
The Incredible String Band
2/5
I don’t know where to start. I’ve never listened to an album that’s made me want to collect a group of lads, slip on a few jazzy caftans and head to the woods to sacrifice a maiden. It actually almost made me excited about the idea. I mean, that had never even crossed my mind before this album. Powerful stuff! It also made me sing a made up song about Robert California for 4 hours. Really highs and lows and if I’m honest, quite confusing. 2.0
Stevie Wonder
3/5
Fine! Nothing particularly special. 3.0
Abdullah Ibrahim
2/5
The soundtrack to a low budget daytime tv drama or hallmark film. Jazz, niiiiicccceeeee! 2.3
The Teardrop Explodes
4/5
Very much enjoyed this. Wasn’t expecting that at all. 4.0
Sigur Rós
5/5
Always fun listening to a sigur ros record. Impossible to know which record you’ve actually put on, whether you’re listening to the album in order or if you’ve selected the correct speed to play it on. Beautiful, elegant, layered, complex, meaningful, sexy - I didn’t realise I had so much in common with a record! 4.6
The Jam
3/5
I’m trying to have an opinion on it but I just don’t care
2.5
Heaven 17
4/5
That was a big slap of 80s fun in the face! 3.8
The Zombies
3/5
Not what I was expecting. And not really in a good way. Slightly underwhelming. Maybe it’s just a lesson in not painting an entire back catalogue with the brush of one song you know. 2.7
Dr. Dre
4/5
Still not convinced I’d take medical advice from him. 4.3
Janet Jackson
4/5
Listen to it more than once. Loads to get into! 4.0
LCD Soundsystem
3/5
Massive fan of their first few albums. Haven’t listened to anything since then. Bands which are so uniquely raw just never seem to age well. They always seem to get slightly over produced and slip into this trap where they are determined to make some sort of anthemic masterpiece that just lacks all the raw energy that they once had and is also far too long! Sadly this album feels a bit like that. There are definitely glimpses of old LCD in it but it just feels like it’s trying a bit too hard and doesn’t live up to their early brilliance! Theres even a track that sounds so much like modern day U2 that it almost made me vomit. Anyway, that’s U2s fault, not LCD. Really glad I listened to it but not sure I’ll be heading back too soon. 3.1
Black Sabbath
4/5
I’m in this project for bands like Black Sabbath. The bands I’ve avoided listening to for silly reasons. Then the project forces me to listen to them and I’m delighted in finding out they are utterly brilliant! I’d judged them entirely on the irritating and over played ‘paranoid’ - if this is their best and most popular track, the rest must be awful!…..delighted to say paranoid is the worst track on the album and it is packed with total bangers! Unfortunately my distain for paranoid takes a whole star off my rating. This has gone straight on my record wishlist 4.4
Pretenders
4/5
I’ve definitely been guilty of writing the pretenders off as a ‘it’s only worth listening to the singles off commercial radio’ type of band. Very wrong! Very very wrong! Absolute bangers! The album takes a bit of a dip about 2/3 of the way through which is a shame. 4.3
Bruce Springsteen
5/5
You don’t even need to be Born In The USA to be proud of being Born In The USA. You’ve just got to listen to the greatest front man in history once and you’ll be convinced! 4.8
The Streets
2/5
Every song by the streets…….woke up, went to the pub, saw a bloke I didn’t want to, took some drugs, watched the football, did some gambling, went home, had a row with my girlfriend, went to bed sad…….is that relatable?….i feel like it should more be, woke up, did park run, had a coffee, went to a natural, organic wine bar, had a lovely pet nat, walked home, had a herbal tea, watched strictly, laughed with my wife, went to bed indifferent…….
I can’t be the only one? Surely?
It’s just lazy! Sounds like some bloke in a cap down the pub that’s had one too many callings and spotted the karaokes set up but thought they’d do ‘their own stuff’. 2.2
Radiohead
2/5
Thank god that’s over - relentlessly depressing but not really offensive! Just not my thing at all!
Noel Gallagher said it right….’I reckon if Thom Yorke f***ing s**t into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it'd probably get 9 out of 10 in f***ing Mojo.
2.4
Otis Redding
4/5
So much fun! Really nice light hearted listen after dragging myself through some depressing Radiohead dross. 4.3
R.E.M.
4/5
REM - a band I never think of listening to but a band I always enjoy a lot. Finishing every album really focussed on listening to them more often……..I never will, but I’ll certainly think about it for a short while. 3.8
Beastie Boys
5/5
I seem to always box this album off as ‘not their best’. I think it’s my thing of hating anything that is generally popular…..YOURE NOT REAL FANS…….
Anyway, this is far from their worst work. It’s absolutely brilliant! Maybe could have been about 2-3 tracks shorter, maybe a couple of fillers in there. 4.5
Weather Report
2/5
I’m pretty sure the first few tracks of this was the soundtrack that Shannon Tweed got her knockers out to every Friday night in the late 90s on Channel 5
This project amazes me - I need an idiots guide as to why some of these albums are on here?
1.5
Radiohead
4/5
Imagine if Radiohead just carried on making records like this? Rather than deciding to take any raw edginess and hope out of their music and pursuing a dream to sound like a bunch of whining woodland creatures. 4.3
The Auteurs
3/5
What genres this? Sort of britpop….I think? Britpop Drab? Brit Borepop? I’m pretty sure there were 1001 better 90s britpop bands than this. It’s absolutely fine but just a bit drag and generally naff. Almost two middle of the road and drab to stir any sort of emotion, positive or negative. Always a worry when the opening track is the 2nd most popular track on Spotify and it’s pretty terrible. Only downhill from here. 2.6
The Allman Brothers Band
4/5
So far on this journey I’ve learnt that the dude who wrote this list bloody loves a live album. Most of them have felt like a waste of time. Not this one. It’s great! Must have been an outrageous band to see live. 3.9
Everything But The Girl
2/5
Got a lot of respect for this record. I can really appreciate what they were doing and her vocals are insane! Took a bit of getting into. First listen 2.3. Second listen 2.5. So let’s call it 2.4
Eels
5/5
How do you make such downbeat music so uplifting? Utter genius 5.0
ABBA
5/5
ABBA-solutely relentless pop banger after pop banger! I mean, why not just release a best of as a studio album. Very efficient way to produce records! I feel like if you don’t love this album you need to go and sit in some sunshine for a bit. Maybe meet some new people. Broaden your horizons. Try to find some happiness somewhere. 4.5
Ute Lemper
3/5
Quite dramatic! 2.9
Sepultura
4/5
As far as this genre goes. I reckon this is about as good as it gets. Simple formula - find a group of the most talented musicians to play some amazing music. Get someone to scream over it in a terrible way to take you right to the brink of where you can stand the music 3.6
Simple Minds
3/5
Exactly as I expected. Simple Minds just aren’t a band I want to listen to albums. They make some bangers but I’m just not into a whole album of it! 3.1
Duran Duran
4/5
Good, catchy pop music! 4.1
The KLF
3/5
Like a good chunk of this project this was great in a sort of ‘never going to listen to it again’ kind of way. 3.0
Björk
2/5
Mums gone to Iceland!
But they’ve sold out of prawn rings!
If you want to listen to some abstract Icelandic music just stick with Sigur Ros - it’s far more atmospheric and less jarring!
2.2
Pixies
4/5
I always forget how old this album is. 1989!!! Way ahead of its time! 4.4
Patti Smith
5/5
Totally had Patti Smith and Patti Labelle mixed up. This was not what I was expecting in the best possible way! This might be the best find of this project so far (around 400 albums in). 4.9
Tracy Chapman
4/5
Tracy Chapman & Cat Stevens - so far the only artists to survive the Boyzone Test. 4.2
Sly & The Family Stone
2/5
Sly & The Family Stone are the biggest disappointment of this entire project. 2.3
Björk
4/5
The last great thing Bjork did. 4.4
Bill Evans Trio
4/5
Brilliant Jazz! I have a love hate thing with jazz. I rarely love it and largely hate it but this was my kind of jazz. 4.3
The Who
2/5
I just don’t get rock operas. Get your head out of your own backsides. No one cares. The Who - what are they even about. I hoped this project would give me a better insight into why they are so revered. I’ve always wondered why a band so widely talked about as one of the ‘greatest’ is hardly ever played by anyone anymore. It’s cos they are rubbish! A few bonus decimal points when you consider this was made in 1969 though - i didn’t realise this was that old. It does sound a bit ahead of its time! 2.2
Johnny Cash
4/5
I’ve ignored this album. I bloody love prime Johnny - grew up listening to it! Had such an emotional connection to the start of this. First 6-7 tracks - unreal. After that, it drags a bit. Talk about dreary! I get it mate, you’re on the way out. No need to drag us all down with you! Still, very happy how this held up. 4.1
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
4/5
Enjoyed this. Although wasn’t as petty or as heartbreaking as you’d expect. 3.6
Jack White
3/5
Largely middle of the road with some lovely little moments thrown in here and there. Enjoyed listening to it but my attention faded in and out from it - maybe it’s a bit forgettable? Dunno. I’d defo listen again though. 3.3
Sinead O'Connor
2/5
She’s absolutely right. I haven’t got this album, and I don’t want it. 2.1
(0.7 entirely just for nothing compares - banger alert)
A Tribe Called Quest
4/5
Lovely stuff. 4.1
The Pogues
3/5
I had really high hopes for listening to The Pogues on this project. Based on what I’ve heard about what they did for Irish Folk music etc. Ends up I think the only style of Irish folk music I know is The Pogues. Relentless! 3.4
Ali Farka Touré
3/5
Fascinating album. There are track that I totally and emotionally connect with. But there are as many that I’m, meh! 3.3
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
‘I’m going to say, they’re the best band of the 80s’ - not my words but the words of someone whose opinion I trust more after this statement about Echo & The Bunnymen. 4.4
The Soft Boys
3/5
This was ok. Kinda forgettable but also kinda unique. 3.2
The Residents
1/5
There’s a sub genre of music on this project ‘collection of random sounds’ - within that genre, and I can’t believe I’m saying this but, this is actually probably one of the best. I think in terms of what it’s trying to do and the atmosphere it’s trying to create it’s probably the most commercial and coherent of those albums. Having said that, I’ll also never listen to it again 1.4
American Music Club
3/5
Wow! Hard to have an opinion on that. Did they invent being middle of the road? Otherwise I’m struggling to see what they add to this project. Unless this dude got to like 996 and just couldn’t be bothered to think of the last few? 2.5
Ms. Dynamite
3/5
I like this album because it’s a great demonstration of her clear talent. I enjoyed it way more than i thought i was going to. It was far more soulful than i expected. I (miss dyna) might (tee-ee) listen to it again, but im not sure. 3.4
Pulp
4/5
Never heard this album. Streets ahead of their other stuff. Enjoyed it. 3.6
Joni Mitchell
3/5
Impeccable story telling as you’d expect from Joni Mitchell. As a whole album it’s just all a bit samey and far from her best work. 3.4
TV On The Radio
4/5
What a great find! Sounds really 2008. Which is great. Cos I loved 2008. Very enjoyable album! If you close your eyes and really want it to, it sounds a bit like a cross of Beck, Prince and The National. Sort of. 4.4
Joy Division
4/5
Much more agreeable than their other stuff! Had to listen to it twice to get into it. Maybe I just always need a joy division warm up! 3.6
King Crimson
3/5
The first 3 tracks are just about as good as prog rock gets. The last 2 tracks are everything that’s utterly terrible about prog rock. Why do they always have to ruin it? 3.2
New Order
4/5
New Order are better than Joy Division. There, I said it. It’s out there now. 3.6
Public Image Ltd.
3/5
Not as bad as all the reviews on here. Wont listen to it again though. Decent music ruined by the vocals…..again. 2.9
Neil Young
3/5
Not his best. But still great. 3.4
3/5
I went through a phase of loving Blur in late 90s/early 00s. But then as a kid I went through a phase of thinking I’d marry my mum. Thankfully I grew up and realised she wasn’t marriage material and just good for the sex. Much like Blur who are really only good for their hits. They are a greatest hits band. 3.0
Derek & The Dominos
4/5
My first proper listen to Derek and the dominos. Really enjoyed it. Can see what all the fuss is about. Album is maybe a little too long. Never used to like their Little Wing - always in favour or Jimi but I must have matured or something. Loved it. 4.2
Traffic
3/5
As one half of UK Jazz Rock pioneers Houmous & Chutney, I really appreciate what Traffic try to do here and it’s almost flattering. But to quote the great late Barry Farrow….’go home mate, this is big boy shit’…..another middle of the road album that’s fine but absolutely not special! And another one I’m convinced I would have been fine with if I died having not listened to it. 2.7
The Go-Go's
4/5
Relentless 80s fun! Pretty samey! The kind of samey where I hadn’t realised the album had played through and I was half way through another one of their albums before I realised. 34 minutes is just about right for something samey though! Enjoyed it! 3.5
The Sugarcubes
4/5
Lovely stuff! 3.8
Nine Inch Nails
3/5
As one half of iconic industrial rock duo Houmous & Chutney I know a thing or two about production and I just can’t quite get on board with the production here. I can really appreciate what they are trying to do but it’s largely just missing enough depth and power for me. Hurt is a banger though! Didn’t see our song writing credits though? I’ll have to take that up with the legal team. 3.1
Fugazi
4/5
This reminds me of the time I was on tour with my band mate and great friend Len Houmous and we were looking at bed linen downstairs in Beatties. We couldn’t believe our eyes. We looked up and who should be looking at the crystal glasses, all of Fugazi! Len shouted ‘ey lads, with your ticket sales, shouldn’t you be in Debenhams?’ They just replied ‘Ken, bloody Chutney!’ We all laughed. We reminisce about this a lot and it still makes us smile. But really what are the chances that two globally renowned groups of post hardcore pioneers being in a House of Fraser in Hemel Hempstead? 4.3
Being one half of UK ‘Dad rock’ pioneers, Houmous and Chutney gives me a great insight into longevity and what it takes to make a commercially viable, timeless record. It’s about staying power and riding the waves as they approach. Unlike Rod, who went off to America and ‘went soft’. 3.2
PJ Harvey
4/5
As one half of iconic duo Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about making seriously intense, raw, powerful and unique records that are also ahead of their times. And that’s why I can really appreciate what Patti-Janine has done here. 4.3
Manic Street Preachers
3/5
As one half of iconic 90s duo Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about holding a grudge. I’ll never forgive Manic Street Preachers for what they did to us. 2.7
Slipknot
3/5
As one half of iconic British duo, Houmous and Chutney, I know a thing or two about making music that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I remember back in 82 when Ray Serrano wrote in Rolling Stone ‘Ken Chutney sure as hell doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He’ll make his music regardless. Perhaps even regardless of what band mate Len Houmous thinks’ 3.3
Frank Black
2/5
As one half of Houmous & Chutney, I know what it feels like to be overrated so I feel sorry for Frank Black. Everything’s fine but in this day and age, that’s just not enough. A hard lesson to learn, but that’s the only way myself and Len have survived all this time. Keep evolving 2.2
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
It was always a pleasure to bump into Bruce on the circuit. With Houmous & Chutney it was far too common to generate jealousy amongst others. But not Bruce, it was more mutual respect. Take this record, we all knew this wasn’t his best but the thing with Bruce is that it always comes from the heart. It always means something. Which is lovely. And let’s face it, he’s gotta be the most compelling front man this side of Len Houmous! 3.1
Depeche Mode
3/5
As one half of dynamic UK duo, Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about making records packed with a few moments of brilliance but largely made up of just too much 80s self indulgence. 2.8
The Undertones
3/5
The Undertones! The band that wished they were Houmous & Chuntey. Almost as fun but nowhere near as funky. 3.4
Shuggie Otis
3/5
Ahh. Old Shuggie, Shugster. The Shugmeister General as well always called him. It’s nice to reminisce! I remember when me and Len first met him. We fell in love with his personality in a second but we couldn’t understand his music. We kept saying, ‘Shuggie, come on man! You’re so talented. Let’s get you away from making hotel lounge bar music and let’s make some catchy, funky tunes’. It’s nice to see moments of where he listened to us on this but otherwise it’s just same old Shuggie. You have to respect that in a way. We can’t all be Houmous & Chutney! 2.8
Christina Aguilera
4/5
Frustratingly great pop music. Impossible not to love. Some might say ‘that’s the Houmous & Chutney sound’…..3.6
The Louvin Brothers
2/5
It’s so easy to sit back and discard this music. To think it’s outdated and to not quite grasp its significance. What if I said to you, without The Louvin Brothers there would have been no Houmous & Chutney - what about that? 2.2
Peter Gabriel
3/5
The things I could tell you about Peter. Would really change the perception of Sledgehammer if you knew what it was really about. But Houmous & Chutney aren’t here to out people like that. We believe in Karma! Time will tell! 3.1
Marilyn Manson
4/5
I remember the rumours that Marilyn Manson removed a rib so he could suck himself off. Then it seemed to move to Prince. Always made me laugh because truth be told it was actually Len Houmous who did it! Only to find the rib wasn’t the problem but actually the naturally rotund nature of Len himself. This actually led him to have his stomach stapled as a hope to make it work. He lost a huge amount of weight. Of course, he still couldn’t do it, although it did lead to what we refer to as Len’s ‘heart throb era’……..so many women….and men, Len really wasn’t fussy! I suppose every cloud and all that!……..3.5
Grateful Dead
3/5
As one half of iconic duo Houmous & Chutney I know a thing or two about being in a band with a misleading name! A name that evokes thoughts of various levels of metal but a band that delivers something very different. 3.4
The Everly Brothers
3/5
I thought Houmous and Chutney were the only group brave enough to finish an album with the hit single? Huge amount of respect to Beverley & Neverley for that! 2.5
The Verve
4/5
Northern Soul was always a genre me and Len wanted to really get into. Something we both had a real affinity towards. We told Ashcroft that this was a misleading title if it wasn’t packed with Northern Soul. He simple replied ‘where’s the houmous and chutney then lads?’….alright soft lad. Pipe down. Over the moon that it was only downhill for him from here. Only idiots think Urban Hymns is better than this. 4.1
4/5
Len called me one day in a right panic. He said some Irish lads have started calling themselves Houmous & Chutney! I said no chance. No one would be stupid enough to try to steal the name of such an iconic band. We bumped into Bono when they were supporting Bananarama. He looked nervous and shouted ‘Houmous & Chutney?’ We shouted back ‘You Too?’…..he looked startled then said ‘Yeah, that’s us!’……Next thing you know, he’s got The Edge, Adam Clayton and the other one in a huddle. Suddenly U2 are announced on stage. We couldn’t believe it! 3.5
David Bowie
4/5
David rarely disappoints. We actually shared a manager with him for a brief time. He was a bloke on a mission. His vision was to sexualise asexuality. Hard work with a band like Houmous and Chutney. We had to sort of be gay but also nothing at the same time. It worked for a short while before the sexual tension between me and Len got too much. We called it a day and moved onto a new manager before we both made a mistake we would regret. We didn’t want to damage our chemistry on stage. 4.4
Coldcut
4/5
Big noise, great house music. The 90s. An era of Houmous & Chutney I won’t forget. Remember that bit on Ride On Time. The shouty bit. Whaaaaa-ho, Wha Wha Ho….that was actually Len. No one else could maintain the vocal. People still think it’s one sample repeated. But every one was Len. One after the other. Incredible vocal performance! 4.1
Barry Adamson
3/5
Barry’s soundtrack to an imaginary film. Love the bloke but come on pal, if you’re going to do it. Really do it. I remember on one of Houmous & Chutneys legendary jam sessions we managed to somehow evoke the feelings of a sort of against all odds, coming of age drama. We actually made it into a film. It was about two male tennis players. Direct competitors from a young age. Both turning pro. It followed their desire and journey for a grand slam trophy. We called it 2 Men 1 Cup. It was doing well until someone stole the idea, pumped a load of cash into it and changed the protagonists to women. We never watched it out of principle. I think it was about the Steffi Graff and Navratilova! 2.5
Stephen Stills
3/5
Of course we all know Crosby, Stills & Nash. Then of course Young as well. Hard to think that it almost looked totally different. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Chutney. If it wasn’t for Stephen’s insecurity it could have been so different for all of us. But then we never would have had Houmous & Chutney. Everything happens for a reason. It has left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth and even after all these years, deep down I am quite pleased that this album was a bit of a non-event. 3.2
The Clash
5/5
As one part of iconic punk duo Houmous & Chutney I know a thing or two about taking musical genres and making them appeal to the masses. Got to admire it when other people attempt it. 4.5
Portishead
3/5
Almost as anxiety inducing as when Len’s mum used to offer to cook when we were jamming late in his garage! God bless her, she was one hell of a woman and so generous but my god she couldn’t cook. She almost wrote off an entire Houmous & Chutney tour wit her devilled eggs! 2.8
Malcolm McLaren
3/5
As one half of UK Duck Rock duo Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about catchy, fun records. 3.4
Carpenters
5/5
Karen Carpenter almost became Karen Chutney! Karen & Ken Chutney. Marriage made in heaven. Shame. I miss her. 4.7
Os Mutantes
2/5
Anything Brazilian is such a trigger for Len. Makes it hard to listen to. A brazilian was why Len split up with his first wife, Andrea. She’d been having it off with Alice Coopers roadie, Alan Hazelnuts. Brazilians were a new trend and Alice always got them confused with Hollywood’s. Alan had obviously been talking to Alice about it and when Len was having some beers with Alice he realised that either Alice had seen ‘it’ or someone close to Alice had. It wasn’t a great loss really. If you went down the list of everyone who saw Andreas area we’d be here all day but don’t tell Len that. 2.1
Blue Cheer
4/5
As one half of UK cover band Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about taking a great song and doing a terrible cover and almost ruining it. 3.7
The Notorious B.I.G.
5/5
Believe it or not, Len Houmous was the first person to be interviewed on that fateful day for Biggie. They’d had a heated argument that afternoon. We wanted to cover Me & My Bitch in honour of Lens first wife, Andrea. Len just can’t stand swearing. So we wanted to change it to Me & My Witch but Biggie wouldn’t have it. Fortunately the only thing Len hates more than swearing his his ex wife and firearms so they knew it wasn’t him. 4.7
Kendrick Lamar
3/5
People always assume if your name is Ken then you’re a Kenneth. There’s always great surprise when people find out my full name is Kenry Daylesford Rickworth Chutney. It’s even more a surprise when they find out Kendrick has the same name! 2.6
Kacey Musgraves
3/5
As one half of middle of the road country duo, Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about creating boring, middle of the road records that you never want to listen to again, so I partly appreciate Kacey Musgrave for doing it so well. 2.5
OutKast
3/5
So similar to Houmous & Chutney’s double album, Houmous/Chutney. Equally as long. Equally as anxiety inducing but with some absolute bangers here and there. The most tracks from any of our albums that ended up on our best of. The Best of Houmous & Chutney. 3.1
Ray Charles
3/5
The Genius of Ray Charles was actually also a book written about my dear brother. Ray-Charles Chutney. My parents weren’t kind giving a little white lad from Barnsley the full first name Ray-Charles and he struggled. Often straying to the wrong side of the tracks. My word didn’t he have the brains of the family. It was a shame all the pressure was too much for him. It was actually the book that inspired Ken Loach to make Kes. Kes himself was actually meant to represent me. We thought calling the bird Ken would be a bit too obvious. 2.9
The Yardbirds
3/5
The yardbirds - the collective noun we use for Len’s ex wives. Because most of them are now in prison. 3.3
Les Rythmes Digitales
4/5
As one half of UK born French electronic DJ duo Houmous & Chutney, I know catchy electro beats when I hear them. 4.3
The Darkness
5/5
We met Justin Fletcher when Houmous & Chutney were touring in 2006. He’s much thinner and considerably worse with children in real life than on the telly. 4.5
Japan
3/5
Japan were the reason Duran Duran lamped me in 1988. I was giving Simon a bit of stick. Winding him up about the fact they are just a cheap imitation of Japan and stole all their ideas. Len didn’t know how close to Simon was to exploding, neither did I tbh. Len bundled over and shouted ‘Ken? What you doing talking to this New Wave Pop nancy boy? Shouldn’t you be doing your hair, Le Bon? That quiffs looking a bit saggy’…..well, that was that. Luckily he punches like a girl. It’s all good though, we chatted it out and he invited me round for Christmas dinner that year! 2.7
Nas
4/5
Nas once asked us to collaborate with him. Imagine Nas, Houmous & Chutney. Unfortunately Len thought he was just an overhyped potty mouth. Len can be so stubborn at times! 4.2
Gene Clark
3/5
Gene Clark was the name of Len’s 3rd wife. One of the more agreeable ones if you ask me. Sadly passed away from Testicular Cancer. Really shook the lot of us. No one really saw that coming. Apart from Len, he didn’t seem as surprised as the rest of us. But then grief does the strangest thing to people! 3.1
Miles Davis
5/5
We named our kid after this album. Also made my lovely lady, Constance give birth while listening to it. It was a difficult birth and if I’m honest, it never felt the same between me and Constance since the. Cool Bernard Chutney. Born 30.02.98 weighing 14lb 9oz. 4.7
Michael Jackson
5/5
Houmous & Chutney were invited to Neverland. It was absolutely incredible. We didn’t actually manage to see Michael on that occasion. He used to just get pulled from pillar to post. I think Len maybe spent 4 hours on the carousel with Bubbles. He was acting like he was Richie Rich. 4.5
Korn
4/5
As one half of UK rock band Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about making commercial headway in a polarising genre. 4.3
Missy Elliott
3/5
I often think about what might have happened to Len if I hadn’t met him. If Houmous & Chutney hadn’t become what there did. A multi genre mega star in the world of music. I know for one thing, Len’s hip hop career would have been significant! Let’s not forget 8 Mile was actually based on Len’s life. It was railroaded by Eminem. Something Len’s never quite got over. 2.7
Soft Machine
2/5
Very few regrets when it comes to my career in Houmous & Chutney. Devising and inventing Prog Rock is one of them. 1.7
System Of A Down
4/5
Heavy metal the way Ken Chutney wants it. 4.3
Kid Rock
1/5
Houmous & Chutney wrote an album for a bit of fun back in the 80s. We called it ‘Music For Idiots’ and was just a bit of a dig at the manufactured music world. We never knew that the record label big dogs actually gave it to Kid Rock. 1.1
The The
3/5
Much like Len’s 4th wife - sounds remarkably like George Michael 3.1
Elton John
4/5
Very few people know this but Houmous & Chutney actually played The Troubadour the afternoon after Elton played that infamous gig. We drew a bigger crowd and from what most people said, we were ‘considerably better than Elton’ just a shame back then Len enforced a very strict no press policy. He’s always been about the music. Which obviously paid off in the end…….4.2
Sarah Vaughan
4/5
Len once booked Houmous & Chutney on a Christmas do to see Sarah Vaughan at a very well known Jazz club in Soho. Unfortunately he booked the wrong club. We saw an extremely eye opening show but there wasn’t much Jazz involved! 4.2
Stereo MC's
3/5
As one half of iconic UK electro hip hop duo Houmous & Chutney I know a thing or two about electro hip hop. 3.2
Leonard Cohen
3/5
Leonard Cohen, Daft Punk, The Who, The Beatles, Houmous & Chutney all have the ability to write entire albums where every track sounds exactly the same and it’s lauded as a masterpiece! 2.8
The Who
4/5
In the words of my immortal father Kenrod Chutney SNR…..‘that’s the best album by The Who’……4.2
Raekwon
2/5
With Lenneth’s stance on swearing I’m over the moon he didn’t listen to this. I never would have heard the end of it! 2.4
Travis
2/5
As one half of iconic UK depressing indie duo Houmous & Chutney, I know a thing or two about making seriously depressing music. It takes real guts to make a record without any hope whatsoever. Well done Travis. 2.1
Fairport Convention
4/5
It’s interesting that this list assigns fairport convention with the birth of UK Folk Rock. I always put it down to Houmous & Chutney in 64. 4.0
The Mothers Of Invention
3/5
As Lens 5th wife said. The mother of all invention are cock ups. The cock up she was talking about was her marriage to Len. It spawned some of his best hate rap. 2.4
Missy Elliott
2/5
Missy Elliot or Ken E. Chutney? 1.7
Stevie Wonder
5/5
‘Does Stevie Wonder, as much as we wonder? Or is it just the eyes that we plunder’….just one of the Grammy Award winning lines from Houmous & Chutney’s hit ‘Blind Lies’ 4.8
Jacques Brel
1/5
I know it sounds brutal but I really don’t get how this album is on this list. If you look at the wider picture, if this is on there. Then surely so should all 78 studio albums by Houmous & Chutney! 1.3
Destiny's Child
3/5
After meeting Len’s 7th wife, Karen. I’m not sure anyone’s too Bootylicious for him! 3.4
The Youngbloods
4/5
As I’m sure you know. Ken Chutney knows a thing or two about eclectic electric piano playing! Well played! 4.2
Waylon Jennings
3/5
Country was the backbone of Houmous & Chutney for so long. Waylon used to call almost everyday calling out for a collab. It’s a honour that he named this album after us, his true Honky Tonk Heroes. 3.0
The Mamas & The Papas
3/5
Can’t have the mamas without the papas just like you can’t have Houmous without Chutney! 2.6
Solomon Burke
3/5
Solomon Burke, Grandfather to Alexandra and extremely proud life long Houmous & Chutney fan. 3.2
Röyksopp
3/5
Roy Kristoff Sopp - session musician for Houmous & Chutney and all round lovely guy. 3.0
Hugh Masekela
4/5
Phil Spector had his wall of sound. Len Houmous had his Wall of Trumpets. An incredible technique to make one instrument sound like 4 trumpets using only a fish tank and a french horn! Very glad Hugh used it on this. 3.7
Stereolab
4/5
Emperor Tomato Ketchup was actually our nickname for Len’s 8th wife. Can you believe she actually used to ration the ketchup in his house? Madness considering Len was once sponsored by Daddies Sauce! 4.0
Lupe Fiasco
2/5
It was back in 2007 hanging out with Jay Z when he was talking about this Fiasco fella. We weren’t sure. It all sounded a bit the same and if honest, we thought it was boring. Roll on Len scoffing down some of the buffet. He loved this bean dish. He has to be careful. He suffers from lots of food allergies. Most of the top 14. He scoffed these beans without checking the way Len does at a buffet. Before I even had a chance to stop him, he was bright red, throat swelling up! Fortunately Iggy Pop was there and he only carries Epipens with him everywhere. It’s the only way he can keep moving like he still does. Len soon came back to normal! Very fortunate! We coined this incident Len’s Lupin Fiasco! 2.3
Frank Sinatra
5/5
If you listen closely, right in the middle of track 4 you can hear Len cough and splutter. He’s never smoked. Not sure why he thought he could keep up with Frank! 4.9
Wild Beasts
4/5
Wild Beasts another collective noun for all 14 of Len Houmous’ wives. 4.2
The Birthday Party
3/5
As one half of iconic uk post punk duo Houmous & Chutney I know a thing or 2 about making highly divisive records! 3.0
The Beta Band
3/5
Not all heroes wear capes. But Houmous and Chutney always will! 3.0
The Cars
4/5
Another collective noun for all 17 of Len’s wives. 4.1
The Prodigy
2/5
Music for the Jilted Generation - literally music for me. I was literally jilted back in ‘84. Len warned me, he said she was only after the money and fame, of course I didn’t listen! I mean, I should have seen it coming, her name was Jill Tedman! Never mind, lucky escape if you ask me! Found out a few years ago that she ran off with Bob Monkhouse! Apparently it fell apart quite quick. She thought Bob was Des O Connor! He kept up the charade for months. Honestly, that bloke will do anything to get his end away! 2.3
Motörhead
2/5
We had a cease and desist from Lemmy in ‘97. We decided to do a Houmous & Chutney underground gig on the district line. We called it No Sleep Til Hammersmith - we’d never even heard of Motörhead before that. I will say something, Lemmy is an angry little man at times and largely plays the same noise with slightly different tempos. 2.1
Joanna Newsom
4/5
Ys, the element Ysium. Reminds me of when Houmous and Chutney created K Pop. Massively took off in Korea which surprised us all. They all thought it meant Korean pop. It was actually Potassium Rock and involved far more bananas than the current interpretation of K Pop. 4.1
Alanis Morissette
5/5
I tell you what is ironic. Lenneth Houmous getting sick off some chickpeas during our tour of Greece in ‘06. 4.5
10cc
4/5
Sheet music is of course something Houmous and Chutney refuse to use. We focus entirely on the moment. A producers nightmare. Which incidently was also the title of our 23rd studio album. A semi rehearsed, semi improvised album that was over 3 hours long. Will be very surprised if that doesn’t appear on this list. 4.3
Jazmine Sullivan
4/5
An education in proper RnB. Or at least the closest there’s been since Houmous & Chutney’s 47th studio album, An Education In Proper RnB. 3.6
M.I.A.
4/5
I remember when Len went MIA in Korea. We thought the worst had happened. It was fine, we found him downtown in Seoul eating Bundae Jigae. It was actually Len who first thought of putting spam in it. 3.8
David Holmes
2/5
Gritty Shaker was actually how Len used to describe the sexual technique of one of his wives. 2.3
My Bloody Valentine
2/5
If you want to listen to an album of loud, atmospheric music with quiet, irritating vocal sounds you should listen to Houmous & Chutneys 73rd studio album ‘Loud Atmospheric Music With Quiet, Irritating Vocal Sounds’ 2.4
Suzanne Vega
3/5
You wouldn’t believe Len’s reaction when I told him I was listening to this album. He was furious. So angry. Really took me back, I didn’t think he knew Suzanne and if he did I couldn’t imagine what she’d done to get that sort of reaction? Anyway, ended up he didn’t know her. He thought I was talking about Lou’s wife, Sue Bega! And we all know what happened there!…..3.3
Pink Floyd
2/5
Roger Waters actually played bass and tambourine on 2 Houmous & Chutney records. The only times I ever let anyone other than myself play the tambourine in the band. Regret it to be honest. He was awful. 2.1
Hole
3/5
Reminds me a lot of a soundtrack to a 90s/00s teen comedy/drama. Len actually made a teen film. Wrote, produced and recorded the soundtrack! It was called Wild Teens: Coming of Age. He also starred in it as the main protagonist Age Cruz. It went straight to VHS, I never got to see it. Couldn’t find it in any video stores and Len kept his cards close to his chest with it. Always said it was a passion project. Difficult time for Len. One of his marriages was breaking down - but he was so engrossed with making this film. Determined almost. 2.6
William Orbit
2/5
Reminds me so much of early 90s TV theme tune. Houmous & Chutney were taking a rare break from being on the road and we got into writing a bit more. We were lined up to write and perform the Clothes Show theme tune but Len signed the worst contract ever - basically just gave them the song! They ended up getting a young Vernon Kay to perform it! We soon went back to our original management! 2.4
Ryan Adams
3/5
If you are talking about Heartbreakers, you have to talk about Lenneth Houmous! 15 wives, 15 mistresses! 3.0
Air
2/5
Would have preferred an entire album made up from just the sound of air! It was actually Houmous & Chutneys 23rd studio album ‘Airy’ 1.5
The Cardigans
3/5
They weren’t the first band on the moon. That was Houmous & Chutney in 1968 - we were actually sent up to firstly test the landing craft for Buzz and Neil and also to test whether anyone could actually hear music in space. NASA never shared the results. 3.2
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
4/5
The Furious Five - my own nickname for Len’s wives 11-15! They were a right angry bunch! No wonder he didn’t make it to wives 16! 4.0
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
We were 2 days away from having Ken Chutney & Creedence Clearwater Revival! Unfortunately one of Lens marriages broke down and I got stuck on a beach in Bali with him balling his eyes out! I missed the contract signing! What we got out the other end though was one of Len’s breakthrough songs ‘I Don’t Want Your Bitch Tits Back’ 3.7
M.I.A.
3/5
Houmous & Chutney played the opening ceremony for the inaugural PPTA World Championships back in 1959. They asked us to compete for a bit of a marketing stunt. What they didn’t know was that Len had just come out of the Korean War - he twisted his ankle badly and spent a long time in the medical tent. He’d spent that time perfecting paper aeroplanes! He won! The rest of the field were furious! The entire Paper Plane Throwers Association folded! It was mad! 3.3
The Young Rascals
3/5
The Young Rascals - our collective nouns for Len’s wives 4-7. 3.2
Joan Armatrading
4/5
I remember when Len coined Joan’s nickname, Joan Armourplating! 4.1
Pink Floyd
4/5
I’ve never been a huge fan of Rock Operas. Houmous & Chutney have always said we’d never release one. Len wrote a solo one. It was also called The Wall, released in 1975. It was about the trials and tribulations of being a bricklayer! Even had a track called Uncomfortably Numb - all about a bricklayers hands during a slow, cold winter. Pink Floyd always said it was just a coincidence! 3.6
The Young Gods
4/5
The Real Young Gods - Len Houmous & Ken Chutney c1960. 4.2
The Zutons
3/5
I thought I had Zuton Fever during the Falklands War. It wasn’t. It was just a bad cold! Still, got me out of there and back in the studio where our real battles were! 3.0
Serge Gainsbourg
4/5
Not a huge fan of concept albums. We got to know Serge quite well in the 70s. Len lived in France for quite a few years. Worked through marriages 6-8 and actually ended up writing his own concept album with the help of Serge….’Le Chateau De Vaches’ It was largely about his failed marriages (which would become a theme of Lens writing). it was actually so good Serge asked us not to release it! Foolishly we listened! 3.7
My Bloody Valentine
3/5
I remember when Houmous & Chutney met Kevin and Colm on tour back in ‘81. They were desperate for some advice. They were trying to make it, their band was called Squashed Kumquats. Both me and Len didn’t know what a kumquat was! Anyway, it was Feb and Len came storming in in a right huff. What’s up Len? ‘It’s my bloody Valentine, she’s run off with Bono’. The rest is history. 3.4
Metallica
4/5
Len’s wives all nicknamed him The Sandman - he used to sleep walk a lot! Not in a funny way. A very scary way. 3.5
Terence Trent D'Arby
4/5
Terrence Trent D’Arby once said ‘ One thing about Italians is you can't let them in your head. They're inquisitive. The English and Germans are a dog tribe; the Italians are cats. They're very helpful, but it's in their own rhythm, their own way, and it can drive you crazy’. Which is mad cos Houmous & Chutneys 17th studio album was called Italian Pussy. Everyone thought it was about Len’s love affair with Nancy Dell’Olio but in fact it was because we saw Italians as very cool cats! 3.7
The Sonics
3/5
The Sonics once said to us that they’d solved the equation for a successful album. They said, write a couple of decent songs, then just do some decent rock n roll covers! Great advice. Houmous & Chutneys next album ‘A Couple of Decent Songs, Then Some Decent Rock n Roll Covers’ was a hit! 3.3
Django Django
3/5
One of Len’s ex wives had a kid called Eric Django Django. 3.2
Morrissey
4/5
One of the very few people neither Ken Chutney nor Len Houmous can stand is Neil Morrissey! Terrible musician, terrible actor, terrible husband! 3.5
Christina Aguilera
2/5
There are people in the world who think Christina might be Lens daughter. He’s not sure but the hair and the lips are a definite giveaway if you ask me. 2.1
Duke Ellington
3/5
Probably the longest and hardest album to get through since Houmous & Chutneys experimental ‘Chinese Water Torture’ album back in ‘61. 2.5
CHIC
3/5
Risqué Lahore was Lens drag name when he lived in Pakistan in the 80s. It didn’t go well. 2.7
Frank Sinatra
2/5
I remember kissing Frank right on the lips on the vegas part of Houmous & Chutneys world tour. It was like kissing a wet ash tray. Horrible. Len grimaced and said ‘good to see you’re still a bit too samey Frank’ 2.1
Kanye West
2/5
Very few people know how much input Houmous & Chutney had on this album. Pretty much all the writing and producing. It was only when Kim came along during the recording, Kanye changed. We warned him. He didn’t listen. The rest is history! 1.7
The Byrds
3/5
All the cowboys in Texas used to call Len ‘The Sweetheart Of The Rodeo’. They were always very friendly with Len. Was lovely to see! 2.7
Eurythmics
3/5
I remember being in a Marstons pub with Len a while back. We used to do some open mic nights. Not as Houmous & Chutney but our alter egos ‘No Refunds For Swimwear’. Before we went on Len had the baked Camembert. He thought it’d be funny to do a take on Sweet Dreams but about cheese. The next day almost every pub and sandwich shop in the country had the lyrics on A-Boards outside their front doors. Incredible! 3.0
Tim Buckley
4/5
‘Greetings From LA’ of course the famous first words of Len Houmous when he was Britain’s representative at Eurovision in ‘92. Always one to have a bit of a laugh! It really through everyone. Fortunately the Dutch saw the funny side of it - which was lucky. They were in a really bad mood that year. 4.0
The The
4/5
Houmous & Chuntey met Matt Thompson backstage at a festival in Nuneaton in ‘79 He was just a stage hand and was yapping on about his band. Len wasn’t in a good place that day. He hadn’t had his afternoon nap and someone got him fruit pastilles instead of opal fruits! Matt bumped into us and was a bit star struck. He was trying to talk about his band but Len was putting pressure on him to ‘spit it out’. He couldn’t seem to say the name. He just kept saying ‘The The’ and Len was getting more irate! We laughed a few years later when we realised that was the name of his band. Looking back, I think Matt was the one in charge of the sweets that day. Maybe that’s why he was under such pressure? 4.2
Stephen Stills
3/5
Houmous & Chutney will always admire Stephen. But Joe? He’s much less Joe Lala and way more Joe Blah Blah if you ask us! Don’t ask though. We don’t like to talk about it. 2.8
Dead Kennedys
2/5
If you want to listen to some proper punk you should listen to Houmous & Chutneys 11th studio album ‘Hey Guys! This Is Proper Punk’ 2.3
The Stone Roses
5/5
The only man Ian Brown has never beaten in the dojo? Len Houmous! 4.6
Cowboy Junkies
4/5
Probably the most touching album since Houmous & Chutneys 26th studio album ‘This Will Touch You’. The follow up to their hit 25th studio album ‘I Touched You (Sorry)’. 4.3
Sheryl Crow
3/5
I haven’t felt that much like a teenage girl since listening to Houmous & Chutney’s 4th studio album ‘Feels; Like a Teenage Girl’. Written by Len about his teenage daughter’s struggles through puberty. I did suggest the title wasn’t quite right but Len insisted. His daughter still doesn’t talk to him 3.0
Venom
2/5
Black Metal was the nickname of Lens 5th wife. He met her in a strip club! 1.5
Fleet Foxes
4/5
The second best track featuring singing in rounds since Houmous & Chutney’s cover of ‘You Spin Me Right Round (& Round & Round & Round & Round & Round & Round & Round)’ - in fact a world record for the biggest 2 man round in history! 4.2
Talk Talk
3/5
Reminds me of Houmous & Chutneys 32nd studio album ‘When is too 80s, Too 80s?’ 2.6
AC/DC
4/5
What Len used to call his 12th wife’s Brazilian! 4.1
1/5
It’s hard to pin point when it all went so wrong. Houmous & Chutney tried to do it with their satirical 71st studio album ‘We Know When It All Went Wrong’ but in fact you can pin point it to the year 2000. When an outrageously irresponsible person thought it would be a good idea to let the general public listen to this. Lo and behold 25 years later and we’ve spawned a generation willing to vote Donald Trump in as President, not once but twice. I hold this album entirely responsible. It’s unfair to allow idiots to listen to this! 0.3
TV On The Radio
2/5
One of the most pointless albums since Houmous and Chutney released their purposefully pointless album ‘This is Purposefully Pointless’ back in ‘64. 1.8
Elliott Smith
4/5
Elliott tried to join Houmous & Chutney back in ‘74. He just kept turning up everywhere. Studios, venues, even at Lens house. We kept having to say ‘Elliott! It’s Houmous & Chutney, not Houmous, Chutney & Smith! That sounds like a solicitors, not a groundbreaking musical duo’ 3.6
Lou Reed
5/5
Funny story about that comic relief version of Perfect Day. They actually lost the original recording. They actually got Houmous & Chutney in to sing every part. Len is a fantastic impressionist! Taught Russ Abbott everything he knew! 4.7
The Cramps
2/5
Len suffered from the cramps quite severely when Houmous & Chutney were on stage in Nuneaton back in ‘84. It’s funny cos the sounds he was making at the time were quite reminiscent of the sounds on this album. Terrible really. 2.1
The Byrds
2/5
The Byrds are the only band to this day that Houmous & Chutney refuse to tour with. As Len has always said. We’ll take the good, the bad and the ugly but we sure as hell wont take middle of the road!’ 2.0
Circle Jerks
2/5
Len Houmous once had group sex with a circle of jerks. He doesn’t like to talk about it but I’m pretty certain he didn’t do it a second time! 1.6
Van Halen
1/5
Still to this day. I have to explain to so many people that Eddie Van Halen was not my son! A remarkably similar playing style on the guitar but that’s not Ken Chutney’s genes. It’s just plagiarism! 1.2
Beatles
3/5
Houmous & Chutney wrote and performed the soundtrack to the hit 2003 film Beethoven’s 5th. It almost didn’t happen. Len had a crisis of conscience. He’d promised John way back when that he’d never perform in any sort of tribute to John or Yoko and we agreed we’d never cover Roll Over Beethoven. How do you follow The Beatles effort? So few people ever understood that the entire premise of all 6 films was that Beethoven the dog WAS John Lennon. That’s why we did the 5th. We got offered all of them. Only when we got to the 5th did we realise no one knew so it was fine. 3.2
Drive-By Truckers
4/5
The entire band once slept with Len’s 13th wife, Lena when we were touring together. Len wasn’t best pleased. He always called them something else after that. The Drive By……..too rude to mention on here. 3.5
The Slits
4/5
Len wanted to start a female punk band in 74. He couldn’t ever quite grasp the fact that it wouldn’t work with him in the band. Glad to see the girls went on to do some magic work. 4.3
Living Colour
3/5
Peaked at #6 in 1988. One of the most popular albums but actually 2nd most popular band. Houmous & Chutney were #1-5. That in itself is a record that’s only ever been repeated by Houmous & Chutney. In ‘90, ‘91 and ‘01. 3.1
Leonard Cohen
4/5
The darkest and most beautiful album this side of Houmous & Chutney’s 68th studio album ‘Wow, That’s Dark AND Beautiful’ 4.1
Nitin Sawhney
4/5
Bet some of you don’t even have a favourite album about nuclear weapons?! This is good but it’s not my favourite. Houmous & Chutney’s Rock Opera ‘Havana, H-Bombs & Lead Lined Hearts’ is a different level! Len wrote it about a love affair when we were touring Cuba in ‘62/63. 3.7
Kraftwerk
3/5
I haven’t felt so much like I’m driving on an autobahn since Houmous & Chutney’s infamous ‘Driving The Autobahn’ tour of ‘78. 6 days, no breaks, just jamming on the Autobahn! 3.2
Tricky
2/5
One of the less exciting albums. I wouldn’t say it’s boring but it’s almost as boring as Houmous & Chutney’s infamously and purposefully boring album ‘This is Less Than Exciting (It’s Boring)’ 2.4
Frank Zappa
5/5
I remember when Frank wrote this. He was off his rocker at the time. Me and Len weren’t sure what was happening but he was constantly going on about eating rats but they were too hot. He was literally screaming ‘Hot Rats’ at the catering staff for the entire Houmous & Chutney set. It was really off putting! 4.5
The Pharcyde
5/5
The most impressive hip hop album I’ve been searching for, this side of Houmous & Chutney’s 31st album ‘This Is What You’ve Been Looking For’ 4.9
Robbie Williams
3/5
‘Criminally Addictive’ was the first manufactured pop record. Recorded by Houmous & Chutney in 1971 it was totally pioneering and given a nod in every single manufactured pop record since. Prior to this no one thought brainwashing through music was possible. 3.4
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
3/5
Ramblin’ Jack certainly wasn’t ramblin’ when he saw houmous & chutney play in 56. He was speechless! 3.1
Def Leppard
3/5
As Len said to the band in ‘89. ‘I didn’t realise you could get dyslexic cats! We laughed a lot that day. 3.3
Michael Jackson
4/5
Michael recorded this the day after Len Houmous stole one of his women! It led to Len’s comeback ‘(not as) Bad (as us, now, are you?). 4.2
Throbbing Gristle
1/5
‘Like a small piece of Throbbing gristle’ was how Len’s 11th wife, the one and only Linda Lusardi described his erect penis! The marriage didn’t last long. 0.2
Black Sabbath
4/5
Very few actually know that Ozzy is the half brother of Lenneth Houmous! Born Oswald Grimace Houmous. 3.6
Jeff Beck
4/5
Jeff tried to join Houmous & Chutney numerous times! He just wouldn’t quit! He always thought we were avoiding him and that one day he’d know the truth. No idea what he was on about. We just thought he was rubbish! 4.1
Penguin Cafe Orchestra
2/5
Len tried to make an actual Penguin Orchestra. He spent days trying to get those poor little creatures to play the trombone. It was the hair that broke the camels back as far as Lens acid days! 2.3
Don McLean
4/5
Mad to think of how crazy Don’s life was. Didn’t realise any of that stuff in the 1999 biopic actually happened to him! Every time Houmous & Chutney crossed paths with him we found him very reserved! 3.8
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
2/5
All the ideas, great voice and clear talent. Just not quite executed. Reminds me a lot of Len Houmous’ work around ‘65-68. He spent a lot of time in Vietnam. He wasn’t serving. Just found the holiday prices really reasonable. His music was very chaotic around then! 1.8
Little Simz
4/5
One of my favourite ‘modern day’ hip hop records since Houmous & Chutney’s 2014 record ‘Modern Day Hip Hop’ 3.9
The Byrds
4/5
Younger than Yesterday was very much Len’s approach go selecting his wives! 3.6
Nanci Griffith
4/5
The Last Of The True Believers was my pet name for Len’s 14th and as it stands last wife! I do miss Belinda. 4.2
George Michael
3/5
The only time I’ve seen Len Houmous cry more than when George died was when his 18th son was born! They weren’t happy tears! 3.1
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Nicks not the most agreeable man. His band are Even worse! I remember when he was starting out. We met him on our tour of Fiji. He was desperate for advice on a suitable band name! Len was grumpy. Dangerous combination! Len shouted something derogatory at Nick and then shouted ‘and lose those idiots. They’re all bad seeds’….the rest is history. 2.4
Yes
3/5
You know roundabout was written while going round a roundabout? They didn’t exit until they were completely happy with the track. Then they recorded it going around a roundabout too. Listen back. You can real feel the roundabout. UK prog rock pioneers, Houmous & Chutney gave them the idea! Absolute magic! 3.0
Boards of Canada
3/5
Not a message Len Houmous agrees with! He’s a firm believer in tightening copywrite laws! I’m a bit more laid back but it’s an understandable view point when almost 99% of music has its roots in what you created! 2.5
The Vines
4/5
Get Free was actually an attempt to get free tickets to a Houmous & Chutney tour. We knew what they were doing. Didn’t work. Nothing comes free in Len’s world! 3.9
Judas Priest
4/5
The decline of British Steel was quite unfairly put on the shoulders of Houmous & Chutney. Apparently we delivered too much hope to the Sheffield community. Following our tour the locals got so enthused about their lives they refused to work in bad conditions. On the plus side, without the decline of British steel we never would have had The Full Monty. So…….4.1
Roxy Music
3/5
Bryan Ferry - another one who just never really got Houmous & Chutney. The feeling was very much mutual. 3.1
Steve Earle
3/5
‘All Aboard The Train To Guitar Town’ was something Len would always scream to the crowds right before a lavish and very much unnecessary, self absorbed guitar solo! It was so off putting! But hey, that was Len and without Len, there wouldn’t have been any Houmous & Chutney. Just a lonely Ken Chutney! 3.2
John Lennon
2/5
Yoko was so misunderstood. People still blame her for the demise of the Beatles. It wasn’t anything to do with Yoko. No one would admit it but I have it on good authority that it was all due to the lads not wanting to fight to compete with Houmous & Chutney anymore. They couldn’t keep up! We won! 2.3
Dr. John
3/5
Back in ‘81 Len tried to get a prescription from Dr John. It was one of the funniest days of my life and Houmous & Chutney career. 2.6
Kate Bush
4/5
There were rumours that hounds of love was actually written about Len Houmous. He is a hound and a prominent lover so I can see where people might think that! 4.1
Van Morrison
5/5
As one half of iconic British abstract folk jazz come folk come folk pop act Houmous & Chutney we know a thing or two about abstract folk come folk come folk pop careers. 4.7
Tom Waits
5/5
I remember this night. Houmous & chutney were the warm up act. Tom was late. We managed to keep the crowd buzzed for some time. We weren’t sure when he’d arrive. When he did, 4 hours late, he tried to apologise. Without taking a breath Len looked at him straight in the eye and said ‘Tom Waits For No Man’ a remarkable moment! 4.8
Rufus Wainwright
2/5
Rufus actually wrote Old Whores Diet about Lens 13th wife. To be fair, it was a terrible diet! 2.1
Meat Puppets
4/5
The two biggest influences on Kurt Cobain - Meat Puppets and Houmous & Chutney! 4.2
Rush
3/5
I remember touring with Houmous & Chutney back in ‘89 in Liverpool. We were playing at Anfield. In the back rooms we heard some rustling. It was most of the Liverpool squad rearranging the gallery. I remember thinking ‘Why’s Rush moving pictures?’ 2.5
The Cure
3/5
Pornography is never the cure! Not my words. The words of Len Houmous’ 11th wife shortly after retiring from her adult movie career. 3.3
Minutemen
5/5
The Minutemen - the collective noun Len’s 8th wife used for Houmous & Chutney after THAT affair was revealed. The one that nearly split up the band! 4.5
Morrissey
3/5
In 1999’s FHM Most Irritating Men In Music, Kenard Chutney was voted 2nd, only to Morrissey! 2.9
Gillian Welch
4/5
The last two tracks are the best ending to an album since Houmous & Chutneys
‘s 1997 82nd studio album ‘Just You Wait (It’s Worth It (The Wait (Until The Last 2 Tracks (They’re Outstanding (Totally Worth It (The Wait)))))’ 4.4
The Divine Comedy
4/5
The frog princess were our nickname for Len’s 2nd wife. Joanna Toad. 4.3
David Bowie
4/5
I remember when we met David on Houmous & Chutney’s 1974 tour of Zambia, we said it to him then. He’s not an album artist. Just a best of. Noone wants to hear anything but his hits. He wasn’t happy! He wrote Fame after that. 3.9
Billie Holiday
3/5
I remember when Len Houmous pitched a TV show in 1971. It was a travel show ‘Billie Holiday’s’…..he proposed Billie Holiday presented it! He didn’t realise she died in 59. How embarrassing! 2.8
Electric Light Orchestra
2/5
‘Hardly out of the blue when it’s your seventh album’…the harsh words of Len Houmous when he was annoyed that ELO did a tea run and forgot his order! 1.8
Common
3/5
‘Common’ a word I’d use to describe most of Len Houmous’ 14 wives. 3.1
Scissor Sisters
3/5
I remember Len booking us tickets to see Scissor Sisters in Benidorm in 2017. We turned up and were quite shocked that he’d booked tickets to a very different pair of Scissor Sisters than we expected. He swears he booked the wrong show. He did make us watch the whole thing though. 2.8
Peter Gabriel
3/5
We thrashed Gabriel in a doubles match on the crazy golf course in Brighton seafront. He thought he’d bought a ringer by inviting Mike Rutherford. He didn’t realise that Brighton was basically Len Houmous’ home course. He hit an incredible 18 hole in one’s in a row! 3.4
Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3/5
Costello tried to fight Len’s 4th wife, Belinda. She was a hard lady. Very firm. She really stood right up to him. ‘Oh yeah Elvis, you and who’s army?’ Without a moments thought, Len piped in and said ‘Oliver’s?’ Diffused the situation in a second! We fell about laughing, Belinda almost soiled herself. But that’s Len Houmous for you - the quick witted hero! 3.2
Ash
3/5
Big year 1977. Of course Elvis died. We had dinner with him the week before it all happened. He was supporting Houmous & Chutney on their UK tour as a surprise guest. Len made a particularly heavy and dense rice pudding. We aren’t sure if that is what actually set off the chain of events! He really did wolf it down. We had to tell him to slow down. Len never made another rice pudding - a blessing in disguise! 2.5
Bert Jansch
5/5
Bert Jansch - the technical guitarist for real guitarists. Len Houmous - the technical lover for real lovers! 4.7
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
5/5
Of course as the famous story goes this was originally supposed to be Crosby, Stills, Nash & Chutney but Neil Young kicked up such a fuss! He was a right baby about it. Ken Chutney didn’t need to be in the band, his duo with Len Houmous was already world famous so he gracefully stepped aside. 4.5
Dexys Midnight Runners
5/5
Remember absolutely stuffing Kevin Rowland at Short Tennis during Houmous & Chutneys Tour of Japan in 89. Terrible loser. I told him not to wear his dungarees in that humidity! 4.5
The Band
4/5
As one half of long standing and iconic rock band Houmous & Chutney I really appreciate the simplicity of band names. 4.1
Femi Kuti
5/5
The very best Afrobeat since Houmous & Chutneys controversial 82nd studio album ‘We’ll Afrobeat You At Your Own Game’ 4.8
Metallica
2/5
The most over indulgent live album since Houmous & Chutneys controversial 2nd studio album in 1959 ‘Houmous & Chutney: Live & Over Indulgent’. An album where they used 14 philharmonic orchestras to create a sound so massive that it actually inspired Phil Spector to create his wall of sound! 2.1
Guns N' Roses
3/5
People don’t realise just how into gardening, Axel was. Obsessed. I remember when we launched a range of Houmous & Chutney garden tools. He took a large fork and a trowel and promised to promote them on their tour. We never saw them again. He sent us a picture of his beautiful broad beans in 1997 but it had been almost 15 years by that point. Why we wanted someone less famous than us to promote our products I’ll never know. You live you learn. 3.1
Tim Buckley
3/5
Rumours are still rife that Jeff Buckley should have been Jeff Houmous! When you look at the timings and his talents it makes a lot of sense. 3.4
Jimmy Smith
2/5
Len Houmous actually bought that famous red shirt off Jimmy. He said he was going to treasure it. He used it to polish his car! Those two never got on. Absolutely no idea why. Len never mentioned it. 1.6
Black Flag
3/5
In 2002 Len Houmous tried to set up an R&B tribute band to Damage, called Damaged. He got a cease and desist. 2.7
5. TV PARTY
Brian Eno
3/5
Reminds me of Houmous & Chutneys 21st studio album, Music For Car Parks. It was sponsored by NCP. 3.4
3. 1/2
Christine and the Queens
2/5
Christine & The Queens was Len’s collective noun for wives 2-6. 2.4
5. 5 dollars
The Jam
3/5
The Jam are probably the second most recognisable band of all time after Houmous & Chutney. Incredible to think how H&C are so recognisable when also so diverse in what they do. The polar opposite to The Jam. 3.0
4. David Watts
Rod Stewart
3/5
Gasoline Alley was actually a sex move invented by Rod Stewart. It’s how Len Houmous found out his 16th wife had been cheating on him. She asked him to perform it. She didn’t realise that Rod had actually done it to Len back in 1968. 3.3
7. Lady Day
Johnny Cash
4/5
Houmous & Chutney tried to perform a similar gig in HMP Holloway in 2015. It was mad. The riots were insane. They actually closed the prison not long after. I mean, with hindsight, what were they thinking putting someone as attractive as Les Houmous in front of all those sex starved women? Madness! 4.4
5. 25 minutes to go
Steely Dan
5/5
Len got arrested in New York in 1958 for having sex with a pretzel. I’m still not sure how or why he did it?! 4.6
3. Any major dude will tell you
The Kinks
3/5
The original title of this was actually (Oh No, Not) Something Else By The Kinks! Len Houmous doctored the paperwork as a prank. It cost millions in legal battles to get it changed back. 2.6
2. DEATH OF A CLOWN
k.d. lang
3/5
K.D actually stands for Kenneth Drusilla. She was named after myself, Kenneth Chutney. Very proud of that. 3.1
8. OUTSIDE MYSELF
Flamin' Groovies
4/5
Len Houmous always used to say teenage head was his favourite. I never knew he meant this album! 3.7
1. HIGH FLYING BABY
Sisters Of Mercy
2/5
Most Sisters were like a Floodland around Len Houmous. Of Mercy or otherwise! 2.1
3. Lucretia My Reflection
Thundercat
2/5
I remember when Len Houmous got blind drunk at a Christmas fancy dress party in 1986. He went as Lion-o. I made a vow that day that it would be the last time i would see a drunk thundercat! 2.4
Can
2/5
Very reminiscent of Houmous & Chutneys crowd splitting 46th studio album ‘An Hour of Random Atmospheric Sounds (With One Great Track In The Middle). 1.8
3/5
Here’s another freeloader. Just riding on the coat tails of Houmous & Chutney. It’s remarkable to think he got so far without anyone spotting just how much he copied Ken Chutneys dress sense! 3.2
Buck Owens
1/5
Houmous & Chutney performed a tribute to this album during their Caesars Palace Residency in Las Vegas in ‘81. Len used to perform it actually holding one of the tails of the tigers from Siegfried & Roy. Had to cancel the show. The tigers weren’t overly impressed and mauled Roy after one of the shows. Thinking back it was quite disrespectful towards the tigers. 0.6
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
4/5
The ‘Yeah Yeah Yeah’s’ was the collective noun Len Houmous uses for wives 12-18
4.0
2/12 Date With The Night
Orbital
3/5
For almost 20 years, Len Houmous thought this was an album about the roadworks and improvements being made on a road works! 3.3
3/10 Lush 3.1
Kraftwerk
3/5
Very few people know that up until Kraftwerk met Houmous & Chutney they were a classical strings band. They were heavily linked with Nigel Kennedy until Len Houmous showed them his skills with electronic instruments. You can still hear that classical influence if you listen closely!
3.0
5/6 Neon Lights
Elbow
4/5
The Seldom Seen Kid is actually what Len Houmous’ first 6 wives called him!
3.8
10/14 One Day Like This
The Dictators
2/5
Len Houmous used to call wives 18-24 ‘The Dictators’
Interestingly they actually wrote the final track of the album about Len! 2.2
9/9 (I Live For) Cars & Girls
Tito Puente
2/5
As one half of UK Salsa Super Group, Houmous & Chutney I know a thing or two about what Tito was trying to achieve! 2.4
3/15 Three D Mambo
Echo And The Bunnymen
4/5
I remember when we first saw Echo & The Bunnymen. Len Houmous said with great vigour that these were the guys to watch, the next big thing. He said the same thing about The Cheeky Girls! 4.3
7/11 Ripeness
3/5
Close to The Edge is exactly how Len’s 9th wife, Petunia described their relationship. 2.7
3/7 Siberian Khatru
808 State
4/5
As one half of the global pioneers of electronic music, Houmous & Chutney, I am sick to death of people ripping off our style without any credit! Still, can’t help but love those bangers! 3.7
5/8 Donkey Doctor
The Beach Boys
4/5
I remember touring with Brian and the boys back in 1957 with Houmous & Chutney. Back then they were called The Bitch Boys. They introduced themselves to Len. Back then Len Houmous was also the stage announcer. He misheard them due to their thick Glaswegian accents and announced. the Beach Boys. They moved to California and The rest is history. Still to this day, very few people know they are Scottish. 3.9
1/10 Don’t Go Near The Water
Genesis
2/5
Mike Rutherford used to talk in so many riddles! It was impossible to ever know what he was on about! I think Paul Carrick did wonders for him! 1.6
9/23 Counting Out Time
The Last Shadow Puppets
3/5
Len Houmous used to have a side hustle. Remarkable how he’s kept it up throughout such a busy Houmous & Chutney schedule. It was a shadow puppet act using his cock and balls! The giraffe he could do was outstanding! 2.5
7/12 My Mistakes Were Made For You
George Jones
2/5
As one half of UK Country & Western behemoths Houmous & Chutney I can really appreciate George’s effort here. Of course he never quite makes it to the levels of H&C 2.1
1/11 The Grand Tour
PJ Harvey
4/5
There was a great legal battle around this album. Len Houmous released his solo album (My Ladies Are Rarely) Dry - PJ Harvey tried to sue him, even though he released his album first! Bit of a crazy few months that was fortunately settled out of court 4.1
6/11 Sheela-na-gig
Franz Ferdinand
3/5
I remember telling Len that this was actually an album written about Les Ferdinand’s Dad. It was when Houmous & Chutney were touring Portugal in 2004 during the Euros. We were asked to come and say some motivational words to the England team. Len really embarrassed himself when we were chatting to the lads! 3.0
5/11 Auf Achse
The Coral
3/5
Everytime Len Houmous bumped into Paul or Ringo, he’d always joke that The Coral were the best band to ever come out of The Cavern Club. He wouldn’t dare say that to George. He had a renowned right hook! 2.7
4/11 Dreaming of You
MC Solaar
4/5
Very few people know this but if you play Houmous & Chutneys 1994 hit album ‘Les Hip Hop’ backwards, it’s actually a completely different album in French. People thought it was just a self indulgent effort about Len Houmous! 4.1
14/16 Ragga Jam
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
This was once voted second catchiest album about 9/11. After Houmous & Chutneys fundraising album ((Watch Out) You Can’t Hide There (Were Coming To (Your Cave To) Get You)) 3.7
13/15 The Rising
Koffi Olomide
3/5
Len Houmous once borrowed one of Koffi’s jackets for a night out during Houmous & Chutneys famous Congolese Tour in 87. He’s actually what led to him meeting his 11th wife, Nzuzi! 3.4
The Beta Band
3/5
Len Houmous can recite the entire script from Hot Shots Part Deux right off the bat. It’s his favourite film. 3.1
Einstürzende Neubauten
2/5
If you want to listen to random noises with a German sentiment I highly recommend Houmous & Chutneys 89th studio album. Das Bin Lids (It’s Not As Bad As You Think) 1.8
8/23 …Kollaps
The White Stripes
4/5
Jack White actually named this album after Len Houmous’ infamous party trick. The party trick that secured his 19th and shortest marriage. 3.7
11/14 Hypnotise
Rod Stewart
2/5
If every picture told a story then Rod Stewart must be having sleepless nights worrying that Len Houmous’ hard drive ever gets hacked! 2.4
4/8 Tomorrow Is A Long Time
Willie Nelson
4/5
I’ve only ever known one man smoke Willie under the table. Mr Len Houmous! 4.1
7/10 on the sunny side of the street
Marianne Faithfull
3/5
This whole album was written about Len Houmous. They had a brief fling and he accused her of cheating on him. She said it all broke down because she couldn’t understand a word he was muttering on any of his records. We all know Len has the clearest of voices so I know whose side I’m on! Anyway, shortly after their fling ended she released this. 3.4
5/8 Ballad of Lucy Jordan
The Temptations
3/5
The cover of this album was actually a recreation of the Houmous family Christmas Card from 1968. Len was with his 8th wife, Lucinda and their 4 rather hyperactive kids. He doesn’t see the kids these days. Most of them are in jail to be fair. 3.0
6/8 The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
As one half of UK hip hop supergroup Houmous & Chutney I can really get on board with what these guys have tried to do here. They haven’t managed it. But they tried. 2.5
2/14 Luck of Lucien
Gary Numan
2/5
Gary Numan was absolutely no relative of Gary Oldman! A mistake Len Houmous so famously made during that infamous awards ceremony! 2.2
5/13 M.E
Sonic Youth
4/5
I remember when Sonic Youth approached Houmous & Chutney to join them in 1989. Both of us were well into our 70s by then and really didn’t feel like we’d fit into a band with the name Youth. I can see what they were thinking. We were the total package when it came to music. 4.2
4/11 Kool Thing
Roxy Music
2/5
We only ever invited Brian Ferry to one Houmous & Chutney Christmas party. The guy is a nightmare. He only consumes things that rhyme with his name. Otherwise he gets so upset and really quite violent! You try to organise the arrival of a crate of cherries at midnight on a Saturday in December in 1979 in Hemel Hempstead?! That God for Lens love of Sherry! 2.3
5/10 2HB
Lana Del Rey
3/5
Let me Love You Like A Woman was actually written about Len Houmous after Lana and Len went out partying for the night. Len always saw her as more of a daughter he wanted (he had lots of other daughters he definitely didn’t want, and the feeling was and is very much mutual) but Lana saw it otherwise. They joked that of they married they could be Lana and Len Del Rey - Houmous. It was and still is very funny to think about that. 2.6
4/12 Let Me Love You Like A Woman
John Lennon
4/5
Len Houmous tried to get John to join us on tour. I remember him shouting ‘imagine, John. Imagine Houmous, Chutney & Lennon. He just flicked the bird at him and walked off. They never got on. We both always preferred the first Paul McCartney. The Beatles went down hill after his car crash. 3.7
6/10 Gimme Some Truth
3/5
The Kinks tried to get Len Houmous to join them. He simply said. Sorry - I’m too kinky, even for you guys! 2.5
1/12 Victoria
Beatles
3/5
They stole every single note from Houmous & Chutney apart from this album! 3.2
7/30 While My Guitar Gently Weeps
The Bees
4/5
Houmous and Chutney, also a two piece were never arrogant enough to call themselves a band! Unlike these hooligans! 4.2
6/11 A Minha Menina
Richard Thompson
4/5
Very few people know that the real reason their marriage broke down was the charm of Len Houmous. Lynda couldn’t get him out of her head. Nothing happened, or so Len says! 4.1
4/13 I want to see the bright lights tonight
The Dandy Warhols
3/5
The dandy warhols weren’t half as dandy as they seemed to think they were. Just ask Len Houmous! 2.8
7/14 Everyday Should Be A Holiday
Peter Gabriel
3/5
I remember when Peter supported Houmous and Chutney in late 1975. He was awful! He did nothing but moan about Mike Rutherfords socks. It didn’t make any sense! 2.6
2/9 Solisbury Hill
Fela Kuti
5/5
Ken Chutney was originally going to appear on this. Despite being a far superior drummer to Ginger Baker, Fela Kuti was concerned no one would know him as a drummer! On the day he found out I remember Ken telling Ginger he was like the cat that got the cream! Ken was unbelievably witty. 4.6
4/5 Egbe Mi O (Carry Me)
Animal Collective
3/5
As one half of the iconic UK experimental band, Houmous and Chutney, I really get an insight into what Animal Collective are trying to achieve. 2.7
2/11 My Girls
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
As one half of iconic UK synth pop duo, houmous and chutney I can really relate to how terrible the pet shop boys are. 2.1
1/10 One More Chance
The Doors
3/5
Len Houmous actually pitched to Van Morrison to open a hotel together. It was going to be called Morrison Hotel - Van was concerned it would be confused with this album. How do you confuse a hotel and an album? No idea! Also Van is far too grumpy to work with someone like Len. It would have ended in a fist fight everyday! 3.3
5/11 Blue Sunday
Girls Against Boys
2/5
Girls Against Boys was one of the rules of Len Houmous’ hotel rooms in the 70s and 80s. 1.7
8/11 Bullet Proof Cupid
Amy Winehouse
5/5
Very few people know the impact Ken Chutney had on Amy’s voice. Before meeting Houmous & Chutney she much more into her industrial trash metal. 4.7
7/11 Tears Dry On Their Own
Gil Scott-Heron
4/5
This is probably the second best album relating to an African American community since Houmous & Chutneys infamous and supportive studio album ‘Were With You (All The Way)’ 4.0
5/9 The Bottle
Supertramp
2/5
Super tramp was the nickname Len Houmous gave his 21st wife, Barbara. 2.4
2/8 Bloody Well Right
Faith No More
3/5
The most all over the shop, eclectic mix of genres since Houmous & Chutneys 49th studio album ‘Throw Enough (Sh*t) At The Wall’ they had to withdraw the album after pink Floyd thought it was a dig at them. They are so unbelievably self obsessed. 2.5
6/11 The Real Thing
Todd Rundgren
4/5
Very interesting how Todd Rundgren released his first double album just months after Houmous & Chutney released their 14th double album ‘Somewhere/Anywhere?’ 3.5
1/25 I Saw The Light
Doves
3/5
Doves, so commonly confused and called THE Doves just like Houmous & Chutney so often called THE Houmous & Chutney. But that was just because they are the very best around and so unique. 3.2
8/12 Catch The Sun
Ella Fitzgerald
4/5
The only person who comes close to the effortless quality of Ella’s voice is Sir Len Houmous! They had a brief affair in 1955 when Len got back from Korea. It was a wonderfully acoustic household…..on the surface! 4.2
22/59 A Foggy Day
Bob Dylan
4/5
I find it fascinating that even to this day, people don’t accept that Mr Tamborine Man was written about Len Houmous?! It’s so obvious! 4.0
Ride
4/5
As one half of pioneering Uk shoegaze band I have to bring up just how copycat this album is. Go listen to Houmous & Chutney’s ‘Nowhere?’ and come back to me. 3.8
Gorillaz
4/5
PG Tips did it, Cadburys did it, then Damon Alburn did it. Yet Houmous & Chutney are still banned from using primates in the creation of their art. Just because of one incident in 1963! 3.9
10/17 Rock The House
Moby Grape
3/5
Moby Grape was a game Len Houmous used to play in the bath with a bunch of grapes. It was a lot of fun but quite unusual to the untrained eye. 3.1
4/10 Come In The Morning
ZZ Top
4/5
I remember back in 1961, Houmous & Chutney were perceived to be at the peak of their powers (no one knew that peak would last 60 years). ZZ Top were supporting and up and coming. They lost a shave poker game with Len Houmous, they had to shave off their beards right before their gig. Luckily they managed to forge some beards out of a mop head and some spiders webs. They never played Len at cards again. 3.5
4/10 Master of Sparks
New York Dolls
4/5
New York Dolls is the collective noun Len Houmous uses for wives 4-7. 3.7
7/11 Bad Girl
Queen Latifah
3/5
Ladies First was actually Len Houmous’ approach to all of his group encounters in the late 70s. 3.4
7/15 Ladies First
Gene Clark
4/5
The incredible thing about Houmous and Chutney is just how much better they are than every single individual and combined entities of The Byrds. They are literally the band The Byrds wished they were. 4.2
2/14 With Tomorrow
Queen
4/5
Kudos for Queen creating a rock opera that isn’t 4 hours long and overly self indulgent. It’s probs the shortest rock opera since Houmous & Chutneys controversial, satirically charged 15 second long album ‘Gateau Opera le Rock’ 4.0
9/12 Love of My Life
Robert Wyatt
2/5
I wouldn’t advise running to this album. In fact it’s almost as bad to run to as Houmous & Chutneys infamous anti-joggers album ‘Stitch Up’ 2.3
1/6 Sea Song
Pere Ubu
2/5
Sentimental Journey sounded remarkably like someone smashing glass while playing a bag pipe. Which sounded remarkably like Houmous & Chutneys experimental album ‘Glasses & Bagpipes’ 1.9
2/10 Modern Dance
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
3/5
I remember Houmous & Chutneys famous tour of Samoa in ‘78. Lloyd was supporting with his band, The Coals. Not sure what happened but they were being very loud and aggressive. Len Houmous turned to Lloyd and asked ‘what’s the commotion?’ The rest is history! 3.0
Elvis Presley
4/5
Elvis actually wrote ‘in the ghetto’ about touring with Houmous & Chutney. He was far more rude than people ever remember. 4.3
13/16 Suspicious Minds
Pere Ubu
1/5
My second favourite Jehovah’s Witnesses related album. 2nd to Houmous & Chutneys famous ‘Sorry, But There’s 3 Up Top’ - everyone thought it was about St Livingstone’s decision to play 3 up top in 1979s Scottish Cup. 1.1
2/10 On The Surface
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Not to be confused with Houmous & Chutney’s classic Tenor for Men sponsored album ‘Wee In Small Hours’ Their first and only commercially branded album. 4.0
11/16 I’ll Be Around
Gang Starr
4/5
Freddie’s son, Gang rose to fame after a chance meeting with Len Houmous (of Houmous & Chutney fame) following a Royal Variety Show! 3.7
8/18 Lovesick
Nick Drake
4/5
Not Len Houmous favourite Drake. If you’re not sure who it is, just give Houmous & Chutneys sea shanty collection ‘Fags n Taters’ a listen! 4.1
7/10 The Thoughts of Mary Jane
Talvin Singh
3/5
So much nominative determinism about this! Almost as much as houmous and chutneys ‘sexy n ready’ from 1956. 2.5
9/11 Disser/Mento.B
Michael Jackson
5/5
Len Houmous actually spent 4 days in Michael’s bedroom with Mackaulay Culkin and a very young Wade Robson. He said it’s the most fun he’s ever had but ‘nothing’ happened. It was all during Houmous & Chutneys Neverland tour in 1992. 4.9
10/10 Burn This Disco Out
Parliament
4/5
Possibly the funkiest album since Houmous & Chutney’s ‘Funk Me (Like A Lady (Of The Night))’ 4.1
3/7 Unfunky UFO
The Rolling Stones
3/5
The best covers album since Houmous & Chutney’s ‘(Anyone (Can (Cover)) Anyone) But Not Us’ from 1951! 3.0
2/12 I Just Want To Make Love To You
Mylo
4/5
This album led to Houmous & Chutneys infamous and hugely successful come back album ‘Rebuild Rock & Roll’ 3.8
4/14 Drop The Pressure
Pixies
4/5
Not many people know it but Houmous & Chutney actually produced the Spanish translation for this. They also lectured Frank Black on life in Puerto Rico while he was writing it. He wanted it to be accurate but was too lazy to go there. Very Frank Black! 4.4
5/13 Gigantic
Madonna
4/5
Madonna’s famous pointy bra was actually a take on a fancy dress costume Len Houmous wore to Lionel Blair’s birthday party in ‘78. He was a female tin man from wizard of oz. Madonna and Lionel were such close friends! 4.4
2/11 Express Yourself
Elvis Presley
4/5
‘Elvis Isn’t Coming Back’ was one of Houmous & Chutneys famous myth busting albums. If anyone knew that Elvis was definitely dead it would of course be Len Houmous & Ken Chutney! 4.3
5/12 Dirty, Dirty Feeling
Soft Cell
4/5
Len Houmous once got a cease and desist from Marc Almond after releasing his wedding night tape from his 17th marriage ‘Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret’ 3.5
15/18 - Torch
White Denim
4/5
Len Houmous wore a White Denim Romper for his 23rd marriage. It was a hot day and a big mistake! 4.2
4/10 Street Joy
David Bowie
2/5
Not many people know that David Bowie was actually the second choice for the role in Labyrinth. Len Houmous basically filmed the entire thing before falling out with the actress playing Sarah when he repeatedly turned down her advances. 2.3
8/14 Id Rather Be High
The Cure
3/5
It was on Houmous & Chutneys Japanese Tour ‘Hows That For You?’ In 1981 when Robert Smith asked us how we managed to stay so positive with such universal popularity. He really couldn’t ever understand it. But for both me and Len it had been a lifelong problem. We never knew any different. One of the curses of being child prodigy’s I guess? 3.2
11/12 Homesick
The Fall
4/5
This album came about when Mark E Smith asked Houmous & Chutney how they managed to produce so many studio albums without diluting their market. Len Houmous told him it was about looking across your fan base and finding that balance of information and entertainment! How on earth Len thinks you can look across a fan base that is literally every single person in the world, I’m not sure. I think he was just trying to get him to leave us alone. 3.8
6/10 Paranoia Man In A Cheap Shit Room
Saint Etienne
3/5
Saint Etienne was Len Houmous’ 6th wife! On one of his legendary LSD trips he married an actual city! Len has the paperwork and is convinced it was a legally binding marriage. The French forced the annulment. It almost started a civil war! Crazy really! 3.0
9/13 Nothing Can Stop Us
Snoop Dogg
5/5
My second favourite dog related album behind Houmous & Chutneys ‘Bitchez n’ Bones’ - an anti crufts protest album! 4.6
11/12 Gz and Hustlas
The Beau Brummels
4/5
Fun fact. Len Houmous was scheduled to work as a session musician on this album. He refuses to work with anyone else called Len. He demands to be the best Len! 4.3
6/11 Nine Pound Hammer
Frank Ocean
2/5
As one half of uk RnB singer songwriting powerhouses Houmous & Chutney I know good RnB when I hear it. 2.1
2/17 Thinkin Bout You
The Fall
4/5
Len Houmous was once considered This Nations Saving Grace. He once thwarted a terrorist attack when his music was being played on the radio and it was so beautiful that they all laid down their arms. Magic. 4.2
7/16 Vixen
Hookworms
4/5
Worm Hooks was actually a critically acclaimed solo project by Len Houmous to celebrate the British Anglers Association. ‘Noones ever captured the river banks as well as Len’ NME. 3.8
2/9 Static Resistance
Dizzee Rascal
3/5
Originally written and performed by Houmous & Chutney this was given to Dizzee when producers weren’t sure how well it would be received when performed by 2 aging white men from the UK. 2.8
9/15 Round We Go
Tangerine Dream
1/5
If you want to listen to a majorly atmospheric album you should try Houmous & Chutney’s anti CFC record ‘At Most Peers’ directed towards the House of Lords when they didn’t pass a law banning them! 0.3
14/14 Organ Piece
(I’ll be forever grateful for the final track ending my misery)
Kanye West
3/5
Kanye West was Len’s cleaner for 3-4 years. He was terrible! 3.4
4/21 All Falls Down
Dexys Midnight Runners
4/5
‘The Occasional Flicker’ was Len’s nickname for his 31st wife. She was never satisfied! 3.5
7/7 The Waltz
Brian Eno
3/5
Very few people know just how much Len Houmous and Brian Eno don’t get on! Even after Len released his hate record ‘What Does ‘e Know’ people still didn’t cotton on! 3.2
3/11 Regiment
G. Love & Special Sauce
2/5
Houmous & Chutneys original name when they were a garage band back in 1948 was G Sauce and Special Love. 2.2
3/14 Garage Man
Grant Lee Buffalo
3/5
Grant Lee Buffalo was Ken Chutneys personal trainer. He was rubbish! Ken put on about 200lbs of pure fat! 2.5
5/11 The Hook
Earth, Wind & Fire
4/5
In 1976 Len Houmous caused a real drama back stage at an Earth Wind & Fire gig. He’d been drinking lager and eating curry all day. He thought it would be funny to try to fart on a candle. Set fire to the entire dinner table. Luckily followed through and put the flames out. He brushed it off so wel. Just looked around the room and said ‘Earth, Wind & Fire - That’s The Way Of The World’ 4.4
7/8 Africano
Bob Dylan
5/5
The reason Bob had to revisit Highway 61 was entirely because of Len Houmous’ terrible directions! 4.8
1/9 Like A Rolling Stone
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
3/5
Originally Paul Simon’s band, they were frustrated that they only got to play the intro to all of his songs and always back stage. That was until they joined Len Houmous on one of his famous LSD trips. It gave them the confidence to not only split away and do their own thing but also to really focus on those harmonies. 2.6
9/10 - Rain, Rain, Beautiful Rain
ZZ Top
3/5
The song legs was actually written about Ken Chutney - long, slender and defined legs that so many women are jealous of! 3.0
5/11 - I Got The Six
B.B. King
3/5
Brian Blessed King only got his shot at the big time thanks to Houmous & Chutney and their Korean Tour in 1952! 3.4
4/10 How Blue Can You Get
Donovan
3/5
Despite the rumours both Len Houmous & Ken Chutney tried to spread, Donovan is no relation to Jason Donovan. They were certainly not lovers! 2.9
1/10 Sunshine Superman
Syd Barrett
4/5
Syd Barrett briefly became a professional wrestler in Houmous & Chutneys failed attempt to set up a wrestling promotion in Papua New Guinea. HCPNGWF starred mostly musicians - they largely struggled with the athletic requirements! It wasn’t great to watch. 4.1
7/13 Octopur
Pentangle
2/5
Pentangle actually stopped Houmous & Chutneys attempt to make the longest successive and linked album collection in history. Angle, Biangle, Triangle, Quadangle, Pentangle and Hexangle all got released before the message from their lawyers arrived. 2.1
3/13 Springtime Promises
The Sabres Of Paradise
4/5
The Sabre Of Paradise was Len Houmous’ nickname for his penis throughout the 80s. He said his wives had named it but we all know that reeks of Len’s humour! 4.0
3/14 Duke Of Earlsfield
Love
3/5
Most second albums are awkward. Houmous & Chutney are probably the only band to have never released an awkward album. Even when they tried. Their second album ‘Awkward’ out sold Fats Domino by ten fold! 2.5
4/14 - Seven of Seven Is
Jurassic 5
3/5
There aren’t many dinosaur related bands or albums that come to mind apart from Houmous & Chutneys RnB 1983 album ‘Diplodocus Of Love’ 3.2
3/17 If You Only Knew
Morrissey
4/5
Len Houmous once took a job in a quarry. He’d been on one of his famous acid trips ans decided he wanted to fully immerse himself in ‘rock’ 4.2
8/12 First Of The Gang To Die
John Grant
4/5
The Queen Of Denmark was actually Len’s wife for 3 years. Or at least that’s what she’d told him. She was actually just a prostitute from Luxembourg! Len still married her! 4.1
2/16 Marz
Steely Dan
4/5
As one half of pioneering UK rock band, Houmous & Chutney I really appreciate what Steely Dan try to do. 4.4
1/8 Boddishatva
Super Furry Animals
5/5
Super Furry Animals is the collective noun for Len Houmous’ 8-13th wife. 4.5
7/13 Shoot Doris Day
Def Leppard
4/5
I remember when Ken Chutney wanted to treat us to seeing Def Leppard live. He booked the wrong tickets. It was a nightmare. A load of Deaf Lepers sat in a room talking about their experiences. There wasn’t any point in them having the bells around their necks. It was really hard to people who had full hearing! 4.0
7/10 Rock Of Ages
Fatboy Slim
5/5
Not many people know that that infamous Brighton Beach incident was actually a result of Houmous & Chutney opening the gig. The surge from the crowd was too much! Of course Norman took all the credit. H&C only opened as an apology to Norman after Len had knocked boots with Zoe Ball. 4.9
9/11 Praise You
Rage Against The Machine
5/5
They weren’t always so angry. It was actually after meeting Len Houmous that they changed their direction. It was a little misunderstanding. They didn’t like that the crowd was more excited about seeing Houmous & Chutney and blamed Len directly for stealing their crowd. I mean, Len also slept with all their girlfriends so maybe that was the real problem? 4.6
6/10 Know Your Enemy
Astrud Gilberto
3/5
Astrud Gilberto was actually who Len Houmous auditioned for Strictly Come Dancing to. He smashed the audition with a near perfect Samba but Claudia Winkleman veto’d his appearance. She said she couldnt control herself around him! 2.9
11/12 You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice
Rahul Dev Burman
2/5
Not my favourite Bollywood soundtrack. That would be the one Houmous & Chutney did in 1972. ‘Caffe Saffron’ as a film was a flop but the soundtrack won endless awards. 1.9
7/10 Baby Lets Dance Together
KISS
3/5
Kiss’ famous face paint was actually a total rip off of one of Len’s famous Halloween costumes! Len was so upset they didn’t credit him he refused to go to Gene Simmons wedding to Shannon Tweed! 3.0
7/10 Shout It Out Loud
Joni Mitchell
5/5
Len Houmous proposed to Joni twice. She didn’t ever give an answer. I’m not sure she wanted to be called Joni Houmous 5.0
8/10 River
Al Green
5/5
Len Houmous tried to book Rev. Al Green for his marriage to Joni Mitchell. She hadn’t even said yes. Neither had Al Green!
4.8
7/9 How Can You Mend A Broken Heart
Supergrass
3/5
Everytime Len Houmous met Gaz Coombes he always called him Damon Alburn. Gaz hated it. 2.5
4/13 Alright
Joe Ely
4/5
Len Houmous’ birthday party in 1982 was a Honky Tonk Masquerade Ball. He was 26…..apparently! 3.5
7/10 I’ll be Your Fool
Pink Floyd
3/5
Len Houmous always described this album as ‘Wet As Roger Waters’…..he loved that joke….and hated Roger. 3.4
2/10 Breathe (In The Air)
Belle & Sebastian
4/5
Len Houmous famously bedded both Belle & Sebastian after one of his famous acid trips. 3.6
10/10 Judy And The Dream Of Horses
Scritti Politti
2/5
Len Houmous was shocked to meet Scritti Politti! He’d spent his whole life thinking they were a 1950s jazz artist! Fats Domino vibes! He thought they were pulling his leg! 2.4
3/9 Absolute
Belle & Sebastian
5/5
Len Houmous claims to have drunk 3 pints of Tigermilk after one of his famous acid trips at the zoo. Apparently it was the same night when he bedded both Belle and Sebastian! 4.5
5/10 Electronic Renaissance
New Order
3/5
Len Houmous always said technique was exactly what New Order were missing. Some record execs claimed this album was a response to that! 2.7
4/9 Round & Round
N.W.A.
4/5
Len Houmous wrote most of Ice Cubes raps on this album. No credit, no reference! He went for tea at ice’s to smooth things over. Stuff only got worse! Len tried to release a hate album ‘straight outta your arse’ but the record label felt it was a little too ‘Yorkshire’ for the main market. 4.2
4/13 It Ain’t Rough
Happy Mondays
2/5
If Len Houmous turned up happy on a Monday you could guarantee he’d bummed his wife that morning. 2.0
3/10 Mad Cyril
Simply Red
3/5
Gosh. Len Houmous and Mick Hicknall had some wild nights out! Apparently the song fairground was written about a night out at the fairground they shared together! 3.3
6/9 Holding Back The Years
Blondie
4/5
Len Houmous had such a crush on Debs. He always used to say that Harry & Mitchell were the only 2 women who ‘got away’ 4.2
10/12 Heart Of Glass
Bob Marley & The Wailers
3/5
After this album came out Len Houmous scoffed and said ‘Bob Couldn’t Catch A Cold’. Len never said why they didn’t get on. Bob said it was jealousy. I never saw Len jealous though! 2.6
6/11 Stir It Up
Bon Jovi
4/5
Of all the bromances Len Houmous has had over the years. The one I was always most on board with was with Jon Bon Jovi. The two of them used the have the most fun! Always harmless. Mostly involved afternoon teas but you could always tell when Len had spent some time with Jon! 4.4
5/10 Wanted Dead or Alive
Beyoncé
1/5
To think, Beyoncé turned down Len Houmous for Jay Z. Some said she’d had a conversation with Debbie Harry just before choosing. Says it all! 1.4
4/20 Blow
Merle Haggard
3/5
This album was written about Len Houmous’ famous break out from prison in 1962. He got out, proved his innocence and held Johnny Cash accountable for his actions! An incredible year! 3.2
1/12 I’m A Lonesome Fugitive
Paul McCartney and Wings
4/5
Paul McCartney spent 2 years trying to get Len Houmous to join wings. Good job it never materialised! The whole world would have seen what a fraud Paul really was! 4.3
2/9 Jet
Lucinda Williams
3/5
Lucinda wrote this album after accusing Len Houmous of stalking her. She referenced the sound of his car wheels on their gravel drive and the feeling of dread. He was never stalking her. It was her mum, Wilma Williams! 3.2
12/13 Joy
James Brown
2/5
Imagine going to see James Brown live and him not playing papas got a brand new bag. I realise he hadn’t released it yet but still, what’s the point? It’s like going to see Houmous & Chutney and them not playing Len & Ken’s Chickpea Rhythm! 1.9
11/11 Nighttrain
Tom Waits
3/5
Len Houmous once tried to get an actual swordfish to play the trombone. He lost the end of one of his fingers. He had to stop playing the trumpet because of it. 2.9
5/15 16 Shells From A 30.6
Giant Sand
4/5
Len Houmous once locked himself away for 4 days when we were holidaying in Gran Canaria. He took too much acid during a small Saharan Sand Storm - he was convinced it was full of giant sand. Like hail sized grains of sand. It’s when he actually wrote Sandstorm for Dario G. 3.7
13/16 Satellite
The Black Crowes
4/5
The saying ‘shake your money maker’ was actually coined by non other than Sir Len Houmous. He shouted it as his then wife and erotic dancer in one of his strip clubs. The rest as they say is history. 4.3
2/10 Jealous Again
Cream
4/5
Len Houmous used to refuse to listen to Cream based entirely on their classification as a ‘supergroup’. Why did these mediocre musicians get called a supergroup when the ever so more talented Houmous & Chutney were only ‘a band’ just because of their longevity? It doesn’t make sense. 4.1
2/10 Sunshine of Your Love
Alice Cooper
3/5
Alice Cooper based his entire character on what Gene Simmons was like after a 3 day bender with Len Houmous. 3.2
3/10 Elected
SZA
2/5
Always reminds we of when Houmous & Chutney released their infamous album with no vowels. IVS (rrtble vwl syndrm) 1.6
11/14 Wavy
Ozomatli
4/5
As one half of infamous British Latin Funk band Houmous & Chuntey I can really appreciate the struggle Ozomatli had to get over with the mainstream crowds. 4.0
4/13 Who Discovered America?
Nina Simone
4/5
Nina actually wrote this album after having had dinner at Len Houmous’ house when he served his famous or rather quite infamous Houmous Bean Cassoulet 3.5
6/11 Break Down And Let It All Out
Orbital
1/5
Len Houmous always used to say that only ‘Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves’ listen to Orbital. It’s actually why Cher wrote her famous song in response to it. 1.2
10/10 Attached
Ravi Shankar
1/5
Ravi Shankar learnt to play the sitar from Len Houmous when they met in an Indian Restaurant in Hammersmith in 1952. Len was taking a break from Korea. 1.0
2/5 Dadra
Buena Vista Social Club
3/5
As one half of the British -Cuban mega group Houmous & Chutney I can really appreciate Buena Vista. We met them when we were holidaying in Havana in October 1962. Lovely lads. 3.2
1/14 Chan Chan
Chicago
4/5
Len Houmous was hanging out back stage at the West End in 2001. He’d been dating Denise Van Outen. She ended up being really poorly and couldn’t perform. Len strapped on those tights and put in one of the most confusingly brilliant performances in theatre history. It ended up she was poorly. She’d been sucking off Lee Mead backstage! Len did what he always did. Just gracefully moved on! 3.6
6/12 Poem 58
Primal Scream
5/5
This album has always been accredited to LSD but no one ever talks about where these guys found that. There’s only one man it could have been. Sir Len Houmous. One night with Len was the original name of this album until the record label suggested Screamadelica which was actually the word someone used to describe a night out with Len! 4.7
3/11 Don’t Fight It, Feel It
Aimee Mann
3/5
Aimee always reminds me of Houmous & Chutneys famous album Companee Librariann. 2.5
4/13 Could’ve Been Anyone
Tom Waits
3/5
The Bone Machine was actually Len Houmous’ nickname from his wives 1-4. 3.3
5/16 Who Are You
Jean-Michel Jarre
1/5
Len Houmous & Jean Michel Jarre actually launched a musical washing powder. It took away from the dull hum and the chuntering sounds of a washing machine. It was called Oxygene. But they fell out when Jarre wanted this boring constant hum but Len wanted something a little more ‘fruity’. Anyway, Len signed with Daz and we all know what happened to Jarre on his own! 1.4
4/6 Oxygene Pt 4
Slint
2/5
Len Houmous invested almost all his money in a theme park called Spiderland in 1955 right after he got back from Korea! It almost went completely tits up. It was a health and safety nightmare! Fortunately he got a large royalty cheque the next year! 2.2
6/6 Good Morning, Captain
Method Man
4/5
The Method Man was the original name for Len Houmous’ answer to The Karma Sutra. He later changed the name to ‘Sex For Dummies’ by Len Houmous. It led to a whole range of ‘for Dummies’ books and the rest is history! 3.8
3/13 Bring The Pain
5/5
As one half of famous New Wave pioneers Houmous & Chutney I can really appreciate this record. Shame it involved Eno. Len Houmous hates Eno. Never forgave him for eating his last rolo. He was saving it for Joni Mitchell! 4.5
1/10 Uncontrollable Urge
Dennis Wilson
4/5
I remember when Ken Chutney found out Dennis Wilson couldn’t actually surf! It was during a Houmous & Chutney tour. Ken almost got eaten by a shark. Dennis just watched from the beach and cried! No help at all! To think he used that experience to write his most popular solo song 3.6
9/12 Pacific Ocean Blues
The Rolling Stones
5/5
Len Houmous borrowed Keith Richards’ jockstrap for the 1978 All Star Cricket tournament. It absolutely stank! 4.6
2/18 Rip This Joint
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
4/5
Len Houmous was originally lined up to play on this record but he didn’t like the idea of breaking the blues. I’m not sure he fully understood that they weren’t actually trying to break the blues. As always Clapton (or Clapped-off as Len called him) would do anything for a bit of the spotlight 4.1
7/12 Key To Love
Garbage
3/5
Len Houmous was always a big supporter of girls with guitars! A pioneer in so many ways! 2.7
9/12 Dogs New Tricks
Fleetwood Mac
5/5
Both Len Houmous and Ken Chutney were lined up for play roles in Running Man. Arnie remembered them from their legendary set at the final of the 1980 Mr Olympia. He tried to call but Mick Fleetwood took the call and then the roll! Len was delighted to see how poor his performance was! Embarrassing! 5.0
3/11 Never Going Back Again
Depeche Mode
2/5
The only band I’ve ever known who genuinely makes music for the masses is Houmous & Chutney. 2.0
6/11 Behind The Wheel
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4/5
Rust was actually the nickname Neil Young has for Len Houmous. He was of course referencing one of Len’s famous acid trips when he made this album. 4.3
7/9 Welfare Mothers
Leftfield
1/5
‘Leftfield? These no hopers should have been left IN a field’ - Sir Len Houmous 1999! 1.1
12/18 Afro Ride
Iron Butterfly
2/5
The Iron Butterfly was Len Houmous’ signature move in the bedroom. Most of his wives said that this was what made him such an addictive lover. 2.3
5/6 Are You Happy
Aphex Twin
3/5
Before finding electronics Aphex Twin was actually a folk singer and morris dancer. He turned to electronics after meeting Ken Chutney at a beer festival. 3.0
10/13 Ptolemy
King Crimson
3/5
Len Houmous actually has Robert Fripps tongue in aspic in his home. All as a result of one of Len’s famous acid trips that went horribly wrong! 3.2
1/6 Larks Tongue In Aspic (part 1)
MGMT
3/5
It’s hard to believe anyone could rip off the cover of a Houmous and Chutney album and get away with it. These kids - they’ve got some balls on them! That was the name of the Houmous & Chutney album 3.4
5/10 - Kids
Bebel Gilberto
2/5
There were rumours that Bebel was actually Len Houmous’ daughter. It was after Astrud wrote a song about the iron butterfly. It would explain a lot of her talent and her big mouth! 2.0
3/7 Tanto Tempo
Pearl Jam
4/5
Back in 96, Pearl Jam joined Houmous & Chutney on tour. Len didn’t want them but management forced it. I remember when they finished their set in Hemel Hempstead and Len just said quick as a flash ‘I’ll give you ten to get lost’ 3.7
2/11 Even Flow
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
4/5
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion was also the name of one of Len Houmous’ bedroom techniques. It won him 4 wives. 3.5
10/17 Hot Shot