Listening to this, I got the feeling he could have made a better album but chose not to

I don't drive, but I might put this on next time I'm playing Euro Truck Sim 2, see if it enhances the experience

From the other reviews on here, I was expecting some sort of hellishly unlistenable soundscape, but that wasn't too bad. At least it was trying something. It would have scored higher but one of my least favourite things in music is a horny Jarvis Cocker

So these are the lads who did "I've got ham but I'm not a hamster"?

Hey Motorhead, play that one that goes *hums the riff to Ace of Spades* Motorhead: yeah, you're gonna have to narrow it down

Sounds like half a dozen budgies in a tumble dryer

The trouble with drum & bass albums is you listen to them for an hour but the Powerpuff Girls episode never starts.

I got Oasis before this, so that's the pound shop Beatles followed by cut price Donovan

It's fine.

When an album is an hour long, has only 5 tracks, and one of those tracks is literally called "drum solo," you know you're in for a treat.

I was feeling good so I was going to give this a charitable 3, then that harmonica came in on Ambulance Blues like a stoned K K Slider giving it MEEEE MEEEE OHHHH MEEEE and it soured the whole thing

So these are the lads who did "I've got ham but I'm not a hamster"?

I often get the chili peppers mixed up with rocky horror - you know, RHCP/RHPS - which is daft, cos one is a load of silly, over-sexualised nonsense with good tunes and a faint undertone of cringe, while the other... Also, I don't care what anyone says, I still enjoy this album. NING NANG NING NONG NING NANG NING NONG NING NANG

More like 1,001 wrong'uns you must hear before you die. Like you, I'd never heard of this band before, but if you'd like to make your own Hookworms song, it's easy enough to program: if (vocalsound == vowel) { pitch.change; }

This sounds like the kind of music the women in Friends would listen to

This is the first time I've rated one of these albums midway through the first track but fuck me, that's dire. What did we do to the author of 1001 albums to make him hurt us like this?

I was just listening to this album this morning and wondering when it might show up on the list! Not a huge coincidence as I listen to this one a lot. If everyone was told they could only have one album, this would be my pick. It's not the best-written album in the world ("in the eyes of the jackal I say kaboom"?) but it is my favourite. I first heard it when I was in my early 20s, reading through the early Anne Rice vampire novels - an excellent pairing, by the way - so it'll always take me back to those days. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em...

I really enjoyed that, even though it was a bit bipolar, with the first few tracks being all floaty, ambient tunes, almost hypnotically peaceful, followed by - surprise! - we're a punk band now

How did a band with maybe two good songs end up with about seven albums on here?

It's not the worst album on here, but it's hardly essential. I forgot it was on a couple of times

I'm sure it's very good, but I just can't stand his *heyeeeaaahdiot wind* voice

Is it safe?

Cowboy cosplay music. When you think about it, this is kind of like a band nowadays writing songs about the second world war.

Man put me off my morning bowl of PussyOs, fam

Situated firmly on the border between Blandly Inoffensive and Offensively Bland.

I like hearing a band experiment musically, but none of the resulting songs really did anything for me, good or bad

I thought that was okay. I thought that was okay. I thought that was okay okay okay okay okay kay kay kay kay kay kay kay k k k k k k k kkkkkkkkkkk

I gave more than one star to a country album. The world's gone topsy-turvy

What is it with all the cowboy cosplay?

Guy sounds like Tina Turner. Tempted to give it an extra star for this line: "she had the body of Venus with arms"

This album gave me anaemia

I liked that. Gentle, Wicker Man vibe

I blame the Dude

One for the "I don't usually like [insert genre] but I liked this" pile.

Two AF albums in a row! I'm in danger of becoming bored AF

I might have liked this if I'd heard it when I was younger, but now it just made me say "stop shouting at me, ya wee prick" as I turned down the volume. Old age, man. At least the album was short. Under 22 minutes. If I were a fan I'd feel short-changed.

One Stephen Stills album in a week is tolerable; two feels like malice.

Considered a protest vote based on Mozza's ugly politics, but I can't betray the soundtrack to my soft and mopey teenage years

Air's music seems perfectly pitched to trigger no emotions at all. It's like lounge music for cybermen.

Wholly unnecessary album

I'm nearly 50 and this is too middle-aged-man rock for me. I guess I could give it an extra star for making me feel younger, relatively speaking.

This reminds me of that time my little brother got an electric piano for his birthday, which had a setting that made each key sound like a different shitty drum sample, and that's all he did the whole day

The band for people who feel that the Smiths were "a bit rowdy"

Damn. I saw that album cover and for a moment I thought Tom Baker had made a record. But no, it's Dylan again, the man with the most irritating voice in music. That long, piercing harmonica on Pledging My Time all but guaranteed a one-star review before I'd even heard the rest. Having said that, I'd like this album a lot more if you could cut out Dylan's vocals and that flipping mouth organ of his. Let's pretend any of this matters at all and add an extra star to the review, for the band.

You know, that irritated me a little less than I thought it was going to. I could just leave it on in the background and pretend I was on hold to the motivational poster factory.

Nothing to scream about.

ACAB includes this lot

I used to really like this album, and there are some great tunes on it, but it sounds so dated now, its electronic drums plastic and hollow. Some albums I wish could get a remake, like they do with video games these days

I didn't expect to like this album. I thought it would be twee and corny but it has depth. I mean, wade through a few 80s/90s electronica records and you'll give extra points to any album just for using actual instruments, but I wasn't expecting to shed a little tear on the bus to work

Another day, another selection from the 990 Albums You Can Happily Go To Your Grave Having Never Heard.

I can imagine the guy from Belle and Sebastian listening to this album and thinking, "aw yeah, I'm having that" to almost every song

One of those albums that contains almost everything I usually dislike in music and yet I love it

I thought I'd enjoy that. Did not expect it to be a 5-star though

I'll say this for all the old hair metal bands that come up on this list, at least their lead singers gave it some. This guy's voice goes up to a seven on a good day. That's not to say it can't be good, like on You Would Know, where the dialled-back guitar works with the vocal rather than against. Some of the guitar noodling and electronic bleepery seems almost wilfully irritating at times, but there's still some stuff to enjoy here.

"Time fell wanking to the floor"? What does that mean? It's a quotation. A quotation? What from? It isn't Milton and I'm pretty sure it can't be Wordsworth. It's Bowie. Oh. And is this David Bowie too: "My body disgusts, damp grease wafts sweat balls from sweat balls and thigh fungus"?

At times it was like listening to Tori Amos having an asthma attack but I didn't hate it like I thought I was going to. Could have done with fewer 'downside of fame' moans though.

The thing that surprised me was how weak a singer he was

Was nearly a generous 3, then he started banging on about birds

Some albums would benefit from an instrumental version

I fully support opportunities for women in the traditionally male-dominated space of being an unsettling little weirdo in the name of art

Jazz is okay, but I prefer music. Top Tip: if listening with ear buds, take the left one out to enjoy the piano and drums without the bass rattling away at random like a fly trying to find a path through a pane of glass.

Listening to this, I got the feeling he could have made a better album but chose not to

3 + 3 = 3 (stars)

Not my kind of metal - bit too synthy in places - but I'll give it an extra star because I've just binge watched the first ten seasons of Supernatural which had raised my tolerance for all things classic rock

Hey Motorhead, play that one that goes *hums the riff to Ace of Spades* Motorhead: yeah, you're gonna have to narrow it down

She's very good at singing a style of music I really don't enjoy

I don't drive, but I might put this on next time I'm playing Euro Truck Sim 2, see if it enhances the experience

I'm with the Dude on this one

I don't like Bob Dylan, why would I like someone doing Dylan karaoke?

I knew nothing about this band. Reading the album name and track listing, I thought it would be, I don't know... smarter?

This was the Marvel Avengers team-up of its day

I usually hate Dylan, but that wasn't terrible. He kept his warbling to a minimum at least

This reminds me of the hamster I had for a week when I was a kid, in that I did not care for it

It feels mean to mark a band down because the lead singer can't carry a tune, when I'm such a fan of Belle and Sebastian, but here we are

Considering it mostly sounded like a stoner playing bongos over a ZX Spectrum loading noise, I didn't entirely hate that

From the other reviews on here, I was expecting some sort of hellishly unlistenable soundscape, but that wasn't too bad. At least it was trying something. It would have scored higher but one of my least favourite things in music is a horny Jarvis Cocker

Reminds me of the time a skinhead walked into my shop - full gear, bovver boots and bomber jacket, and I thought uh-oh, then I saw a badge at his lapel saying, skinheads against racism. That made me relax, but imagine picking a look that needed a disclaimer. It's like a southern rock parody of System of a Down. Rock for a bit, then read out screeds of political history. The South will rise again! But, but, not in a racist way, you understand. Anyway, this next song is about a racist politician - which we're against, by the way, just to be clear. Yeehaw. In conclusion, Skynyrd, Alabama, and Skynyrd again. Thanks for coming to our TED talk y'all

A good album to put on while reading a book, as it's too barely-there to ever be an intrusion on your concentration. Not unpleasant background sound

Not my kind of music at all, but I'll give it an extra star for "the devil made me do it the first time - the second time I done it on my own"

Was not expecting to rate a country album this high, but good lyrics are good lyrics

How many Talking Heads albums are on this list?? So far, at least four too many

Fun tunes, good sense of humour in the lyrics, this did keep veering into 2 star territory at times, sounding like Carter USM produced by Stock, Aitken, and Waterman, but my previous album was Simply Red so this one gets an extra point just for not being that.

Would have been one hour long without all the tedious chat between the tunes. Some of these albums really test my decision to listen to every record on the list. I mean, how do you even make a miserable version of Keep on the Sunny Side?

Fun fact: Wainwright's Agnus Dei is just Bridge Over Troubled Water played backwards

I liked what they were trying to achieve, but can't say I liked listening to it.

Got through this one by singing Simultaneous by Chef over the first eight and half minutes of By the Time I Get to Phoenix

"My name's Nicholas Nada and I just want to say, Christina, that track you made with all those clips of your fans kissing your ass made me cringe so hard it gave me osteoporosis."

In the time it takes for him to say You Don't Love Me Anymore, she's moved out, met someone else, married, and had a kid.

At first, I wondered why he hadn't practiced the songs before the recording rather than during, then I read about how it was made after he'd had a stay in a mental hospital, was intended as a demo but released as an album, and it all feels grubby and exploitative

I once sang American Pie at karaoke and got three rounds of applause. Not because I was any good, but because they kept thinking I was finished. That song really knows how to outstay its welcome. In the end, I just handed back the mic and shuffled awkwardly offstage. Bye bye, miss American Pie

I only knew this band from a reference in a Courtney Barnett song ("and in the taxi home, I'll sing you a Triffids song"). Having heard them now, I think I'll wait and take the next cab instead.

Like a wind turbine, I'm a huge metal fan, but I didn't enjoy this at all

I've somehow never heard any Pantera before (I didn't even know any of the Thundercats had solo careers) but I quite enjoyed that.

Music Bland & Vague

Jazz is one of those things where fans get so into it that I'm left feeling I'm missing something. It must be me, right, if people can be so obsessed they could reel off every band member for each recording of every song while I'm sat there going, meh? I did wonder how I knew the tune for Bemsha Swing, then I remembered it was used for F.U. by the chili peppers - so that's an embarrassing admission of my own cultural touchstones, I suppose

I'd say a live album wasn't the best intro to a band, but that's the debut they put out.

Not my kind of music, but I'll give it an extra point for the lyrics being a stealthy bit of social commentary dressed up as good-old-boy patriotism. "This next song is called, 'I am an American! (and it's a bit shit, to be honest)"

A Punishing Listen

I enjoyed the music but there was too much talking. You didn't enjoy the talking bits? They just didn't add anything to the songs. You felt they were only talking for the sake of talking? Yeah, like it was all a bit of a gimmick - you know what I mean?

This band gets an extra point for having the best licensed game on the ZX Spectrum.

Logical Progression: 1) press play 2) roll eyes 3) press stop

Welcome to my Controversial Artists list, Slipknot! One star for their self-titled album and now this. Maybe it's because the previous album from this site was hours of generic drum & bass that sounded like a space dolphin giving a drum machine diarrhoea that's making me more predisposed towards any actual humans playing actual instruments.

For star rating, press "one"

I had to skip Fairytale of New York. I used to really like it until one Christmas it got stuck in my head so badly I wasn't rid of it until - I kid you not - March the next year. I would wake up with it playing in my brain; it was absolute torture.

Started off sounding fun but got old really quickly